life lesson.

You can't always contiol winning (the other team is iryiiig Iiard to witi too) or even the quality of yoLu- performance, but yoti can control effort. I teach my players that you can only do so mtich; /ml yon havr to do that much. It is as.sumed that we all want to witi. Victoi y is joyous, egoeiihaiidng, gratifying and validating. But more good leaching niomenis come from losing: endurance, humiliK and the grace and confidence that ( nine WIK n losing widiout excuse. I L'snalK ilit- reason we lose contests is that the other team is simply better, (.an'l we just say llil.s sometinifs"-')

Holistic Coaching
By Rick Burns, Soccer Coach, Central College, Pella, IA
An old roach's tale: A wise old coach li'lls his young assistant: "Time are him WUIVI-K fighlhi}:; within me One of them i\ fmilpful, intniing wiih ombition and desfxrate lo zifin and ffoif} honors: (he other is humnne, ampaasioiiaie and eitgn io tearh lije lessotis. " Hie youn^ roach ashs, "Which one ifi/l win my mcnior?" Thf utise ol/l coach misiims, "Jhr one }feed."

(aiiuie. That loud sucking soutid you hear is the joy of the game being drained away fi om these coaches and their athletes. If they don't win titles are they failttres even if they trained well, played hard and gave everything they had? Do these coaches lose creditability with these tight goals? There is no give here. The singular pursuit of victory at the expense of all else, can only lead to unhappines.s. As educators, our teaching values triumphs over results, standings and championships. If the athletic experience does not offer our athletes an endless string ot teaching moments, we should not he linking ii u-iih ihr Here is a value that I teach: llw
pursuit of I'xceltence is fis honorable as the achiex'emenl.

We can teach our players that winners itren t better people; that champions have flaws atid fifih-place teams have virtties and thai as the Rolling Stones sang, "You don't always get what you want." We can't screen otit ilu- unhappy times, the pain, the disappoinuiicnt. and die sad parts the season brings. As the profoutid hlue-haired philosopher, Maige Simpson, said when speaking to Lisa after a disappointment in her life. "Ifyou feel .s;id. bv sad, we'll ride it out together." Another analogy: .As a college insti lutor I get frustiaud wilh my studeius who are grade gruhhers rather tlian seeking Uiie learning. They are cnnipromising the leai ning cxperienctby suiving to achieve Iiigh marks al the expense offttllyembracing the course. An coaches we can become "win grubbers" raihei" ihan using our great power to offer a comprehensive learning expet ience. Tile educator/coach lliat tearhes good life lessons is being replaced hy die quiisi-professioual coach driven and pressured to achieve results alxive all else. Many of my colleagues seem to share the values orpr(jfessional athletes and coaches wlio say it s "all abota llic I ing" or "the trophy is what counts." Winning is wonder ful and championships and hon<irs art- ego-enliancing for our players, but obsession with

[)i"()p(we tluit coaches, especially division 3 coaches, need to Teed the second wolf more. The | relfiiilcs.s pursuit of winning. I cgardlcss ol collateral costs, can catise us to lose the opportunity to impact our siudems' li\es in a fuller sense. We nitist buiu ihiough the fog of this excessive drive for tesuhs at the expense of losing our humanity. The primary quality oi the good coach is hiimilit)' not pride. (Can you picture a Ibothall U'aiii [ uuuing out ol the iockui room pounding iheir palms on a sign that said "I lUMILlTV?) I know stern, ptn-poselul coaches whose goal every year is to win a national championship. This hollow pomp will almost definitely lead to

My colleagues gasp when I say this; litde muscles in their face involuntarily contract; diey nod. gape-mouthed and conversation di.s.solves. Surely there is room for different points ol view here? Teaching that simply trying yotir best can be tlit- r n d in itself is a greai

IO8

n-sults brings trade-offs. Things like I ndless recruiting and yea^-round training steal from the athletes total I ollege experience. My athletes are blissfully ttnstillied by pressures for results. As a result. I hey are a harmonious, relaxed lot I hat .seem to be enjoying tJieir experience. They are such lovely, tunuiluious. probing kids witb life's blank pages yet to be tilled! We are keen to win. I demand tbat they play witli passion. ("Don'tyoti dare come off tliat field without giving everything."} But my players know that there is iiuich more going on here. I exuk in my |W)tential to ase my power to nurture them. And they watch me (losely for inconsistencies ("by your deeds, they sbali know you.") 1 tliink 1 have finally figured out what my players want/need to know fi'om me: (. That I enjoy being with them. Z. Tbat I know what I'm doing. 3. Thai I am committed to fuIFdling our potential. (Disclaimer: Knowing what they want is not doing it. I fall shot t annually.) My experience with past players tells me that they don't remember recoids and victories as much as simply taking heart in the small things of sea.sons past. My ex-players, when I reconnect with them, speak not of records and standings, but of personal, anecdotal experiences and positive social interactions with their teammates. They don't temember sea.sons: tliey remember moments (things like sliding across a wet field after training, watching me walk into a glass door, a gieat goal b\ a teammate etc). But I've found that these meaningful moments are often not recognized ai the lime by 18-2^ year old kids. Onlv later are Uiev able to

measure and appreciate their lull experience. Sometimes I %vish the\' would show more appreciation for me now, which means they either... 1. Don'i think of it, or.., 2. Actually don't appreciate me.

Here is a great goal for all coaches: Have your student/athletes, 10 years later, at H years of age. be able O to say that their athletic experience was enjoyable, meaningful and memorable. Tbat's what 1 want, ! don't expect a whole lot more!

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