Home alone

A H A N D B O O K F O R PA R E N T S A N D S C H O O L - A G E C H I L D R E N

Home-Alone Tips and Reminders

Start gradually when you first begin leaving your child home alone. Begin with small blocks of time15 or 30 minutesso that your child can adjust to this important change in your family life. Whenever possible, try to touch base often with your child. Either have your child call you at work to tell you he has arrived home safely, or check in by phone during one of your breaks at work. A cellular phone can be a godsend for parents whose children are home alone. If at all possible, consider getting one to keep in your car or with you at work when you are hard to reach. When choosing a backup or contact person to be there for your child, try to choose someone your child knows well and feels comfortable calling on. Remember that children home alone do get lonely. Be resourceful about coming up with ways to make your child feel less alone. Commit to coming home when you told your child you would. Always call if youre going to be late.

Contents

When is my child ready to stay home alone?

Is being at home alone the only alternative? Deciding whether your child is ready

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Reviewing the rules about safety

Ten Home-Alone Safety Tips

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Getting started
Planning your childs home-alone day Daily Activity Plan Keep Checking In

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What to do if: preparing your child to handle emergencies Questions parents often ask about leaving a child home alone Resources Telephone chart

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When is my child ready to stay home alone?

A lot of it is knowing your child, knowing what your child is comfortable with. You have to adjust everything to the needs of your child.
an illinois mother

All along your child has been taking small and big steps toward independence. Going off to school, taking the bus, riding a bike, sleeping away from home for the first time. Being home alone is one more big step in the journey toward independence. How can you know when your child is ready to take this new step? How can you help your child stay home alone safely and confidently, so that the arrangement feels comfortable for all of you? There are answers to these questions in this booklet. Perhaps you are considering leaving your child home alone because he has outgrown going to the babysitters. Or is resisting going to the after-care program at school. Child care is also difficult to find for older children

at that in between age between late childhood and early adolescence. Its costly, too. Many children reach an age when they want to be left home alone a couple afternoons a week. Perhaps your child is at that stage. Its complicated trying to balance the load of a busy work life with the needs of a school-age child who is starting to be more independent but has never been in charge of caring for himself. Is a fifth grader who wants to stay home alone two afternoons a week ready for this responsibility? Is there a magic age when a child graduates to the next stage of development and is ready to be home alone? Experts agree there is no one right age for leaving a child home alone. Every familys circumstances are different, from parents work schedules to the ages of their children to the kinds of neighborhood support available to the child who might be home alone. And all children are different. Just as every child walks at a different age, every child matures at a different pace. One sixth grader may be ready to handle afternoons home aloneremembering his house key, being responsible about homework, and feeding the dogwhile another child of the same age may find this to be too much responsibility. Parents are in the best position to decide when a child is ready, after carefully weighing both the advantages and the risks involved in leaving children by themselves. As you read through this booklet, you will be given advice about how to decide if your child is ready. You will begin by asking yourself questions about your child, to measure his or her maturity. You will also be given practical tips, to help prepare you and your child for this new phase of independence. The more tips and information you have at your fingertips and can share with your child, the better off you all will be. No parent can foresee all the what-ifs and unexpected events that can come up during a childs time home alone. For instance, does your child know what to do if she gets locked out? Does she know how to handle a crank call? Or what to do if she burns her finger when youre not there? Typical what-ifs like these are reviewed in this booklet. Over time, you can teach your child how to handle such emergencies with calm.

Perhaps you and your child will want to read through parts of the booklet together, stopping along the way to talk about the issues and situations it covers. In the section titled What To Do If you might encourage your child to try to answer the list of questions with you. Spending time home alone is a big and challenging responsibility for any child, and a major milestone in your childs journey toward independence. You will want to evaluate how much time alone you think your child can realistically handle. Do you anticipate her being home without you one afternoon a week, or five? A childs time home alone is unsupervised time, but that doesnt mean it should be unstructured. You will want to help your child learn to organize her time alone so she doesnt become bored, lonely, or rely on too much TV. You will also want to provide her with clear guidelines and rules. Being home alone can give a child a sense of responsibility and competency. It can teach resourcefulness, foster self-reliance, and help your child build coping skills. Ideally, a childs time at home alone should strike a balance between being relaxing and being productive. Every parents challenge, once theyve chosen to leave their child home alone, is to try to find ways to achieve this balance.

Is being home alone the only alternative?

Im not really sure my 8- and 10-year-old sons are ready to stay home alone. What other options are there?
a california parent

As you begin to think about whether your child is ready to stay home alone, you might also want to look into the other options available to you and your family during the time you are at work. Perhaps your child could attend a morning or afternoon school program those times when you cannot be home. Unfortunately, such programs are not available at all schools. If your school doesnt offer before- and after-school care, you might talk to a teacher or administrator, or an officer of the PTO, to find out how to get such a program going. As more parents become involved, the more programs like these are starting to appear at schools across the country. On some days, maybe your child could go to a sitters, a relatives, or neighbors house, or spend time at a friends. Many libraries, churches, and community centers offer after-school activities for children. And many middle 5

schools also have afternoon programs on an elective basis, including clubs, fun classes, and sports activities that meet after school. Maybe your local community center offers afternoon classes in art or music, drama or computer, or some other subject that interests your child. A couple of afternoons a week, your child could go to the library after school to study and do homework. Some local libraries offer interesting programs and homework assistance for school-age children in the afternoon. Maybe the church or temple in your neighborhood has afternoon activities going on for kids after school. Libraries, churches, and community centers often run school-vacation programs for children as well.

Deciding whether your child is ready

Just as you would never let your child jump off a diving board until he knows how to swim, you want to provide your child with the safest experience possible before leaving him home alone. There is a process behind preparing a child for this independent new phase. You want to be sure your child is mature enough to handle an emergency. And that he feels comfortable being left alone. Some of these are skills that must be practiced and developed over time. You also want to be certain there is an adult nearby your child can turn to for help. And that your neighborhood and house or apartment are as safe as possible. Whether you have more than one child will also affect your decision-making. Two children home alone may feel more secure and less lonesome than a single child, depending on the childrens ages, temperaments, and relationship. However, being home alone together may not work for all brothers and sisters, especially if sibling rivalry is a problem. Its especially important to talk with your older child about how he or she feels about taking care of a younger brother or sister.

Here are some of the things to consider as you decide whether your child is ready:

Being able to handle an emergency. This is the

single most important consideration in deciding if your child is ready to care for himself. Bear in mind that good decision-making under duress, or during a crisis, is something most young children are developmentally unprepared to do, according to experts. Young children simply dont have the cognitive maturity. Being able to cope in an emergency requires know-how, self-confidence, and a sense of calm. Does your child panic when routines are disrupted? If so, this is a sign she may not be ready to handle an emergency alone. Does she know the fundamentals of first aid? This is essential for any child home alone. Children can be trained through discussion and roleplaying to recognize and respond to challenging situations. With practice and guidance they can be taught what to do in emergency situations. Also, if there is a trusted adult only minutes from the house to provide back-up in an emergency, you and your child will feel more secure.

Feeling comfortable being home alone. Your

decision whether to leave your child home alone depends a lot on how your child feels about the idea. Does your child want to stay home alone? Is he comfortable with the idea? Ask your child how he feels about this. Ask if he is afraid about staying home alone. Talk about why you are choosing this arrangement. And talk about how long you plan on being gone each day. Your child may feel fine about being alone one hour a day, but not four. In gauging readiness, frequent discussions with your child are important.

Having an adult nearby your child can turn to for help. Children home alone need a contact
person, someone they can turn to for help if they need it. Your contact person might be a block parent, relative, friend or neighbor. You want someone who can be easily reached by phone when you cant be and who can rush over in an emergency to lend a hand.

The safety of your home and neighborhood.

Find out if there are ever incidents that make your child feel unsafe in your home or your neighborhood. You may not be able to change the neighborhood where you live. But there are things you can do to make your house or apartment safe for your child, as you will find out later in this booklet. As you think about the safety of your neighborhood, you will also want to take a careful look at your childs route home from school. Remember that its safest and best if your child walks home with a friend or sibling. Are there busy streets to cross? Are there crossing guards? Remind your child never to take short cuts home from school through deserted areas, fields, or alleyways. And never to talk with or take rides from strangers or neighbors you dont know well.

Measuring your childs mental and emotional maturity. In evaluating your childs readiness to
stay home alone, you will want to look carefully at his mental skills, temperament, and emotional maturity. You might begin by answering Yes or No to the following questions:
Y N

My child is responsible with his house key and rarely forgets it or misplaces it. My child can be counted on to follow instructions. For instance, she always remembers to lock the door behind her when she enters and leaves the house. When faced with a problem, my child comes up with good solutions without me. For instance, the day she broke a window playing basketball, she knew just what to do. My child is good at using the telephone. He knows not only how to dial, answer, and take messages, but how to find a number in the phone book or by calling directory assistance.

My child is practiced at fire drills, and knows how to exit the house safely in case of a fire. I have seen my child stay calm in an emergency. For example, the last time she cut her finger, instead of panicking at the sight of blood, she went to the medicine chest, got a bandage, and put it on. My child uses good judgment. He knows, for example, not to use sharp tools when I am not at home. If you answered Yes to all of these questions, that is a good indicator of readiness. Your child may have reached the stage where she has acquired many of the basic skills she needs to manage at home alone. However, your child will need more than just these basic skills to insure a successful home-alone experience. She will need to learn how to cope with occasional feelings of loneliness, fear, and boredom. She will need to be taught how to handle an unsupervised period of structured time. Finally, in making your decision, remember that some states have laws regulating at what age a child may be left home unsupervised. Since the statutes vary from state to state, its wise to find out what the law is where you live. The best place to obtain this information is through the agency in your state responsible for overseeing families and children. The names of these agencies can varythe one in your state might be called the Health and Human Services Office, the Department of Human Services, or the Department of Family Services. Its also important to remember that even in states where there is no law or regulation, if you do decide to leave your child home alone and an accident occurs, you as a parent could be found negligent. Fortunately, most children who are capable and responsible, and who are well prepared by their parents to stay home alone, do just fine. When you decide your child is ready to start caring for himself, whether on an occasional afternoon or more regularly, then its time to begin the process of slowly starting to prepare him. You will want to go over rules about safety, homework, friends, chores, free timeall the details of your childs routine.

Reviewing the rules about safety

We have strict rules about what our kids can and cannot do when there is no adult present.
a tennessee parent

All parents are concerned about their childrens safety. This is true whether your child is riding a bike, driving a car, walking to school, or being home alone. Thats why its important to keeping reviewing all the basics about safety as your child grows and matures. This is especially important if you will be leaving your child home aloneeven if its just for 15 minutes. This is a good time to go over the safety rules you have been teaching since early childhoodincluding reminding your child to look both ways before crossing the street, to use crosswalks, to walk with a friend or a group of friends whenever possible, and never to talk to strangers or to open the door for a stranger.

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You will want to review what to do in case of a fire. How to handle common medical emergencies. How to develop responsible habits about keys, locking up the house, cooking, using the telephone, answering the door. All the safety rules you take for granted as an adult now need to be reviewed with your child. Here are 10 Home-Alone Safety Tips to help guide you:
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Find an adult nearby to be your childs backup person. This designated adult could be a trusted friend,
neighbor or relativesomeone to take over if your child is in need or facing a crisis and you cant be there right away to help. Some jobs dont allow parents to take incoming calls, and some workers work far away from phones. Thats why its especially important to have a nearby backup adult for your child home alone.

Do a safety check of your house or apartment.

You will want to check to see that all the window and door locks are in good working order. Be sure the smoke alarms are operating properly and that your child knows where they are located. Replace batteries at least annually. Store a working flashlight in a place where your child can find it easily, and check its batteries regularly. Identify and label all dangerous substances in the house and warn your child not to handle them. Keep poisonous household items like bleach, drain cleaners, paint thinners, and dry-cleaning fluid out of childrens reach. Put away all prescription and over-the-counter drugs, and instruct your children not to take them without your permission or supervision. Make sure that cigarettes, matches, and alcohol are kept in a place where children cant get to them. Remember that firearms are extremely dangerous, especially in a household where children are home alone. Guns are more of a hazard than a real protection for families where adults are absent. Never keep a loaded gun in the house. Always keep unloaded firearms in a locked place out of a childs reach.

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Review the rules about what to do in case of a fire. Be sure your child knows to get out of the house
immediately, and not to try to put the fire out himself unless it is very small and confined to one place, such as a wastebasket. In your family fire drills, show your child how to make his way to the nearest exit, and practice where these exits are located. Be sure your child knows to crawl along the floor to an exit if the room is filled with heavy smoke. Remind your child to take the stairs, and never an elevator, in the event of a fire. If you have a pet, be sure your child knows to exit the house immediately unless she can find it fast and easily. Tell your child to call the fire department from a neighbors house, not from home. Make sure your child knows what a smoke detector sounds like when it goes off.

Be sure your child understands the rules about locking the door and using a key. One of the
most important safety rules your child will need to remember is to keep her key in a safe and secure place. Does she know where your family keeps a second key, in case she misplaces hers? Is it with a neighbor? Hidden in the garage? Work out a plan for your child to follow if she forgets her key and cant find the extra one. Once your child has let herself in, be sure she knows to lock the door behind her and to put her key back where it belongs. Practice the routine of getting in and out of the house several times with your child before you leave her home alone for the first time. Is there a burglar-alarm system or a buzzer she will need to become familiar with? Make sure your child knows not to enter the house if the door or window that is supposed to be locked is open. Make sure she knows not to go in alone if she is being followed by a stranger. She should go to a neighbors, or your backup person, and call the police.

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Be sure your child knows where and how to reach you or another adult at all times.
Never leave home without following this fundamental rule. Post important phone numbers in a visible place near the phone. Before you walk out the door, give your child detailed written instructions about where you will be, how long you will be gone, a phone number where you can be reached, and the number of a nearby friend or neighbor your child can call for help. Do this whether you are leaving for ten minutes or for several hours. It might help to fill out the card at the back of this booklet and leave it next to the telephone. Your child also needs the emergency numbers for Fire and Police and the Poison Control Center. Remember to write this information out clearly, in large letters, so that its easy for your child to read. If you are difficult to reach at work, be sure you have made arrangements for how a message will get through to you if your child calls and needs you.

Review first-aid basics with your child and make a first-aid kit. Children can be taught to cope
with some emergencies. Its important to teach your child how to handle minor accidents and injuries. Take time to review with your child basic first-aid procedures such as the Heimlich maneuver for choking. Review how to treat minor scrapes and cuts, nosebleeds, and insect bites. You may want to post a first-aid chart in a visible place in your home. Put together a first-aid kit at home and show your children where it is kept. Include the following: a roll of adhesive tape; bandages; a pair of small scissors; sterilized gauze pads; antibiotic cream; iodine for minor scrapes and cuts; lotion for insect bites; a thermometer. Some parents of older children feel comfortable leaving a small bottle of aspirin or an aspirin alternative as well.

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Consider having your child enroll in a first-aid course offered by the American Red Cross, the Boy or Girl Scouts, the YMCA or YWCA, or another community group that offers such classes. The American Red Cross has first-aid and personal safety classes for children as young as age 5. Though the last thing you want to do is alarm your child about all the things that can go wrong when she is alone, it is wise to prepare her. Later on in this booklet are a number of What To Do If exercises you might practice with your child. Pretend you are playing a game, and let her come up with the answers.
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Be sure your child always carries enough pocket change to make phone calls. Keep a few quarters
tucked away in your childs backpack, and check regularly to see that the coins are still there. This way, your child can always reach you or another adult from a pay phone.

Go over cooking safety. Most children need a snack

or something to eat when they get home from school. Its best to keep these snacks simple and to choose foods that can be made without using the stove or sharp utensils so that your child doesnt risk burning or cutting himself while cooking. Decide if you think its safe for your child to use the microwave oven when you are not home. Think about labeling a shelf in the cupboard or refrigerator where after-school snacks are stored. Brainstorm and make a list of easy snacks your child likes and can make, like peanut butter or spreadable cheese on crackers, or fruit that doesnt need to be cut.

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Review telephone rules and safeguards. The

telephone is your childs way to keep connected with you, other adults, and friends when you are not at home. Be sure your child knows how to use the phone. Does he know how to use call waiting if you have it? And the answering machine if you use one? If your phone has a speed-dial option, teach your child how it works. Program it so that your child can contact you and other important people quickly You will want to coach your child so he knows what to say when he answers the phone. Your child should never tell a caller he is home alone. Instead, your child should say, My mom/dad/parents cant come to the phone right now. May I take a message? If the caller sounds strange or threatening, your child should immediately hang up and call you or your nearby contact person. If the caller continues to bother your child, instruct your child to call 911 or the number for your local police. The telephone is your childs friend, but you may need to help him learn to observe limits about using it. You dont want him to stay on too long, in case you are trying to call home. Or in case he has homework to get done. Decide if you want to have a phone-in policy, where your child calls you or your backup person as soon as he arrives home so you know he is safe. Many children feel more secure if they are able to check in. You will also need to make clear what the rules are about your child calling you at work.

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Go over the rules about answering the door.

There will likely be times when your child is home alone and a stranger comes to the doora delivery person or solicitor or a neighbor whom your child doesnt know. Be sure your child knows never to open the door to a stranger, whether it is a man or a woman, a teenager or an adult. Be sure your child knows never to open the door to accept package deliveries. Your child should never say you are not home. Rather, instruct your child to keep the door locked and to talk through it to the person on the other side. Your child might say, Please leave the package. Or, Please come back later. Or, My dad cant come to the door right now. Come back later. If the person wont go away, or is bothering your child, he should call you, your backup person, or the police. Try doing practice drills with your child, pretending you are a delivery person or stranger at the door.

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Getting started

Our sixth grader had been begging us to leave her home alone. Now we finally felt she was ready for this responsibility.
a boston father

Once youve decided your child is ready to begin staying home alone, you will want to ease into this change gradually. Like any big step, the easiest way for your child to get used to this one is to adjust to it slowly. Start by leaving your child home for brief periods 15 minutes perhaps, while you run out to take the sitter home or pick up a loaf of bread. These test runs will get longer as your child becomes more comfortable staying home alone. Gradually, and with practice, many children are able to handle bigger blocks of time home alone. Keep up a running dialogue with your child. In the beginning, each time you return home ask your child, How was your time alone? What did you do?

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Did you feel comfortable being alone? Listen carefully to your childs responses. And give him a chance to admit to any hidden fears or anxieties he may have. Maybe hes afraid of a dark cellar stairway, a moody bus driver, or a group of older kids who hang out at the corner of your street. Take these fears seriously, no matter how small they may seem to you, and help your child find ways to deal with them. Check in while youre away. As you increase the amount of time you are gone, make it a point to check in regularly throughout the period your child is home alone. This holds true at the beginning, as well as after your child has more experience being alone.

Planning your childs home-alone day

For your home-alone plan to work, you and your child will need to set up a clear plan for how your childs day will be spent. You want to strike a balance between giving your child a reasonable degree of freedom and setting limits. You will want to talk about privileges and responsibilities, play time and work time. You will also need to go over ground rules and expectations. Remember that most children need a lot of help and guidance learning to structure their free time. The more clear and explicit you are with your child, the happier you all will be. Sit down and decide together what your child will be expected to do while you are away. This is the time to go over household responsibilities, caring for a family pet, homework rules, and rules about watching a younger sibling. What will your childs privileges be? Will he be allowed to watch TV? Use the computer and the Internet? Talk for long stretches on the telephone? What activities will be off-limits? As you help your child organize and plan his time alone, try to think about all the particulars that are important to you and your family. For instance, do you want your child walking the dog when you are 20

not at home? Will your child be allowed to take a shower? Some parents declare baths and showers off-limits, for fear a child will slip and fall. Every family has different comfort zones about what feels safe. You will have to decide on yours. Your planning should cover everything from coping with emergencies to learning what to do with free time. Its important to be clear with your child about your concerns, rules, and expectations. Here are some of the things you will want to work on as you prepare your child to be home alone:

Homework. Discuss with your child how she will get her homework done each day. What is the best time of day for her to do her schoolwork? Is it right after school, or does she first need time to relax and unwind when she gets home? Decide if its realistic for your child to do her homework without you. She may need your help. Can she call you at work if she is baffled by a math problem? Have your child choose a regular place in the house where she will do her schoolwork. Maybe she is most productive in the privacy of her own room. Or perhaps she prefers to work at the kitchen or diningroom table. Is there a desk, a comfortable chair, and good lighting where she will work? Be sure she has all the necessary supplies she will need, including paper, pencils, markers, and a calculator. A homework plan is only a success if you follow through to see that the work is getting done. Chores and household responsibilities. Discuss
any chores your child is responsible for when you are not there. These might include feeding the dog, emptying the dishwasher, or setting the table. After you and your child have come to an agreement, write out a list of the chores and responsibilities and post it in the kitchen. This can serve as a daily reminder as well as a checklist for your child. Decide if you want to reward your child for meeting these household responsibilities.

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Television. As you look at your childs homework and

household responsibilities, you may decide there is time for an hour or so of TV when you are not there. Though its difficult to limit TV viewing when you arent there to supervise, its still important to set firm limits with your child if this is important to you. Go over the TV schedule and discuss which shows are appropriate for your child to watch. Do the same with videos. Have your child select the shows she wants to watch, and together make up a TV schedule. Television fills a void for children who are home alone and can be a good companion. If you are concerned that your child is watching too much TV, suggest she do other things while shes watching, like drawing or writing in her journal or sorting socks, so that its not wasted time.

Computer/electronic games. If your family has a

computer, you may want to discuss whether or not your child is allowed to use it when you are not home. Does your child know how to turn the machine on and off responsibly, and to access games and programs? If you are connected to the Internet, decide whether you want your child to be allowed to access it when you are not home. Some Internet sites are not safe for children.

Telephone. Decide if you want to set limits on how

much time your child spends talking on the phone with friends. Or using the phone to access the Internet. A busy signal could prevent you from calling home if your child is on the computer or if you dont have call waiting.

Friends visiting. Your child may want friends to visit

when you are not home. Decide what your rule will be about this. Many parents do not allow their child to visit in a house where no adult is present. Your decision will depend upon how you feel about this, how the parents of your childs friends feel, and your childrens ages. Once you and your child have agreed on a home-alone plan, put these details and instructions in writing. Have your child do this with you. Heres an example of what a typical weekly plan might look like:

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Activity Plan for the Week of:

/
I will do my homework from:

/
:
(time of day)

These are the chores I will need to get done:

I may watch TV from:

(time of day)

These are the TV shows I will watch:

Other special instructions (regarding use of the computer, use of the phone, friends, instrument practice, etc.)

Remember that even the best plans can change. Set aside a time to review these rules and agreements regularly, to be sure your family plan is working for all of you. If its not, then figure out together how to change it. Also, you will want to give your child a strategy for what to do if the plans youve put in place on a given day suddenly change or are called into question. What if a friend invites your child over to play and she cant reach you at work to ask if its okay to go? What if she wants to stay after school to work on a paper, or attend a band rehearsal? Should she call you first to check in? Finally, remember that if you want your child to follow through with his end of the dealto abide by the plan youve agreed uponthen you need to follow through, too. If youve told your child that you will call to check in at a certain time, dont forget to do it. And always make an effort to come home when you told your child you would.

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Keep checking in

Youve worked hard to prepare your child for the milestone of being home alone. Now you want to be sure your home-alone routine is working for all of you. You will need to keep checking in with your child to talk about how the plan is going. Does your child feel comfortable and secure during her time home alone? Is winter harder for her, when it gets dark earlier? What can you do to make those days easier? Remember that being home alone may not work for all children. If your child tries it and doesnt do well, or if he feels especially lonely, you may need to come up with an alternative arrangement. Remember, too, to praise your child for managing well without you. The best way to insure a successful home-alone experience is to discuss any problems or concerns that may arise and work on shared solutions with your children. Its a good idea to set aside an hour one day of the week or month to talk about all these issues as a family. Use this time not only to talk about scheduling and other home-alone concerns, but also to plan for times when you as a family can do something together. Your childs experience home alone is likely to be a successful one if she is mature, ready, and if youve done a good job of preparing her to handle it. What youve given your child are lessons in responsibility and independencetools shell carry with her all her life.

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What to do if: preparing your child to handle emergencies

Fortunately, she has never had to handle an emergency. But I do feel my sixth grader would do well.
a texas parent

Children only become knowledgeable about handling crises and problems by being given a chance to practice when there is no crisis. The more you prepare your child for the many what ifs that can come up, the more confident your child will be about knowing what to do should one occur. Of course no parent can possibly anticipate every crisis. But by going through the following exercises with your child, you will get a sense of how he or she might handle different problems without you. Here are some typical what if situations to practice with your child. As you go through the questions and suggested solutions, try to let your child do most of the talking. After you ask the question, let your child give an answer. Then talk about the answer together. 27

Though this is a pretend game, its also a real way for you to find out more about your childs problemsolving skills. Help your child learn to distinguish between real emergencies, when an adult should be contacted, and daily crises that can be safely handled without adult help. Maybe youll want to make up some of your own what ifs. In any case, try making the exercises fun.
What if:

The smoke alarm goes off downstairs while youre upstairs watching TV? One answer: I should go downstairs immediately, so long as there is no sign of smoke. Then I should call my parent or backup adult who will tell me what to do. If I do smell smoke or see any sign of fire, I should grab my brother/sister/pet and leave the house immediately as we practiced in our fire drills. If I cannot find my pet easily and fast, I should leave the house immediately without it. Your younger sibling cuts his finger? What should you do? One answer: I should get a bandage right away. Then I should put a clean towel or piece of paper towel on the cut, press it firmly until the bleeding stops, and apply the bandage. I dont need to call an adult if the bleeding stops right away. But I should call for help if it doesnt stop. You arrive home alone from school and find the front door or window unlocked or open when its not supposed to be. What should you do? One answer: I shouldnt go in. Instead, I should go to a nearby neighbor or backup adult for help. You miss the bus home from school? Whom do you call? What should you do? One answer: Go back into school and call mom, dad, or my backup adult, who will tell me what to do. I shouldnt try to walk home without permission. I shouldnt take a ride from someone I dont know or my parents havent told me to go with.

What if:

What if:

What if:

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What if:

You burn your finger making toast? What should you do? One answer: For a minor burn, the best thing to do is to apply ice or very cold water to the burned area for two or three minutes. Then carefully dry the burn with a clean towel. If the burn still hurts, I should call an adult for help. The doorbell rings and you are afraid to answer it. What can you do? One answer: I dont have to answer. I can look out the peephole to see whos there. If I dont recognize the person and Im afraid to answer, I wont. I wont ever open the door to a stranger. If the person at the door wont go away, Ill call the police. Its 6:30 and mom or dad is an hour late. Youre starting to get scared. What should you do? One answer: Call my mom or dad at work. If I cant reach them, call my backup adult and explain that Im home alone and feeling scared. Your younger brother or sister swallows something that makes him or her feel sick? Where would you call for help? One answer: Call 911 or the Poison Control Center right away. And I should save the container that whatever he swallowed was in. Your little sister is playing upstairs. Suddenly you hear her scream. You run upstairs and find shes crying so hard she cant even talk. You find out she caught her finger in a door and its so swollen it looks twice its normal size. What do you do? One answer: Swelling can be the sign of a bad bruise or a broken bone. I should try to help her calm down and keep her hand still while I call an adult for help. You break a window playing ball and there is shattered glass all over the kitchen floor? One answer: With my shoes on, sweep the broken glass over to the side of the kitchen floor where its out of the way. Then stay away from the broken glass. Let a parent pick up the glass when he or she returns home.

What if:

What if:

What if:

What if:

What if:

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Questions parents often ask about leaving a child home alone

I know my son sometimes gets lonely being home alone. Thats why its important to help him really plan his time.
a minnesota mother

How do I enforce rules when Im not there to see whats going on? Clearly, this is one of the biggest
challenges for parents in leaving a child home alone. Say youve instructed your preteen not to invite friends of the opposite sex over after school. How do you know your child is following the rules? Or say youve limited your child to an hour of TV a day. Is she following the rule? Its a good idea to check in often with your child by phone, so that your child has a sense that you know whats going on even if youre not present. Remind your child of the rules when you call. Setting clear rules and expectations, and following through with them, is key. Remember that building trust is an ongoing processit doesnt happen overnight.

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Its important to show your child that you trust him. That way hell act more trustworthy.

How do I keep my child from feeling lonely?

There are a number of things you can do to help your child feel less lonely. Consider getting a cat or a dog. Try to call home frequently. See if you can cut down on the number of hours your child spends home alone by mixing other activities with being home alone.

My children fight, and dont really get along. Will they be able to handle being home alone together? If you are planning on leaving more
than one child home alone, its important to talk to your children about this arrangement. Is the older child ready for this baby-sitting responsibility? Does the younger child feel comfortable with the arrangement? In terms of sibling rivalry, continual fighting is not only non-productive, it can also be dangerous. To manage sibling rivalry, it helps whenever possible to give each child his own responsibilities, chores, and activities. You may even need to separate your children, to give them separate routines in different rooms of the house so that they arent always together. If your children are warring on a regular basis, you might think seriously about another option for supervision.

What about being home alone after dark?

The dark can heighten a childs fears and worries about strangers and strange noises. This is why most experts recommend not leaving any child home alone at night before the age of 12. Even age 12 is too young for many children to be left home alone at night.

How will I know our home-alone plan is working well? If your child seems happy, and is using
her time productively, your home-alone plan is probably running smoothly. But childrens needs change over time, so its important to stay tuned in to how your child is feeling. If you hear a lot of complaints about stomach aches, or headaches, or if your child seems especially irritable or his schoolwork drops off, you may need to take a careful look at your plan.

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Resources
The American Red Cross provides Basic Aid Training (BAT) for children ages 8 to 10. The six-hour course introduces children to safety information and first-aid procedures for breathing difficulties, bleeding, poisoning, burns, shock, and other emergencies. Children learn first-aid skills to respond to emergencies and treat common injuries. Contact the local American Red Cross chapter nearest you for more information. Some local libraries offer afternoon programs for children in grades 6 through 12. Contact your local library to find out if it has a drop-in homework program, a reading program, or some other after-school activity for school-age children. If not, your child should still be welcome to spend time at the library after school quietly doing homework or reading. Many schools offer extended-day programs and activities. Find out if yours does.

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Use this page to write down extra instructions for your school-age child.

Telephone chart

Cut out page and post near the telephone

Parents telephone at work:

Neighbor/relative/ friend to call for help:

Emergency telephone numbers: Fire

Doctor

Police

Poison Control

When giving directions to our house in an emergency, include the following street names:

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