Adolescent Boys' Use of Emo Music as Their Healing Lament Author(s): Aaron P.

Anastasi Reviewed work(s): Source: Journal of Religion and Health, Vol. 44, No. 3 (Fall, 2005), pp. 303-319 Published by: Springer Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/27512872 . Accessed: 09/01/2012 22:15
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Journal of Religion and Health, Vol. 44, No. 3, Fall 2005 (? 2005) DOI: 10.1007/sl0943-005-5467-9

Adolescent Emo Healing Music

Use Boys* as Their Lament

of

AARON P. ANASTASI
ABSTRACT: or continue a process Emo music is one avenue God can begin of which through and understanding. to found through God can use songs of lament connectedness, healing sharing, can also offer an environment to of pain. Emo music for the suffering individual bring awareness can to think about and develop to describe In some cases, their pain. the music begin vocabulary serve as a prayer of faith for the adolescent, him to connect with God. allowing

KEY

WORDS:

music;

suffering;

healing;

connection;

adolescents.

are many types and levels of suf are lost, hopes are shattered, Dreams experiences suffering. fering, everyone no outlet and pain is held for expressing inside, muted. Having pain and heartache be worse than the suffering itself. This silence may rages inside, Life is difficult. People suffer. While there out in desperation, to this silent but few hear.1 While all are vulnerable asserts Henri and loneliness, disconnection, suffering, pastoral psychologist in particular adolescents this at a deep and painful level.2 Nouwen, experience to adolescent Janet Sasson Edgette, American adolescents According therapist are suffering from a desperate need for connectedness, for a sense of belonging.3 crying in this position. adolescents find themselves Many They have an intense need to feel loved and accepted. They desperately seek love and acceptance but it. Adolescents to attain often lack the means need to express their pain and in order for healing to take place, but first they must have language suffering to psychologist and opportunity for this expression. Pol William According connections with others in order to need to establish lack, boys meaningful in early ado the traumas of shame that are commonly conquer experienced the destructive effect of the "Boy Code."4 The "Boy Code," including a man, are raised to think a boy, and eventually is what says Pollack, boys which should be like. These attributes include a stoic, stable independence, lescence,
Aaron P. Anastasi, M.Div. is a graduate of Princeton and works

at Allentown Presbyterian Church as the High School Youth Music Director in AUentown, NJ.
Correspondence to aaronanastasidaol.com.

Theological

Seminary

currently

303

G 2005 Blanton-Peale

Institute

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Journal of Religion and Health

an to violence, is attracted self, which daring an understanding and status, and dominance power, imperative and is not "masculine" but "femi emotions is for "sissies" that expressing he refers to as a "gender straightjaeket."5 nine"?which a con and they want and understood, boys are eager to be heard Many as the accompanied This for with others as well nection healing. longing it is seen as weak and "feminine." Many nurture is often kept silent because never shows weakness, to achieve a false, boys suffer from the effects of this "Boy Code," longing for outlets of While they fear the they feel the need to share their emotions, expression. if they choose to be vulnerable those around that they may undergo shame of sharing to this "Code." Instead their emotions, these boys re who ascribe a great and repress in their suffering. main Therefore silent boys experience level in order to deal of pain and need to connect with others at an emotional adolescent healing. experience to the boy code, which he says is for the boys who subscribe The mantra is "Everything's the "Boy for most, fine."6 Still in operation, inescapable just in the nineteenth which Code" is an outdated that began model century, in a gender constrains and men, them This boys putting straitjacket.7 forces boys to conceal their true feelings and causes them to live straightjaeket are held back, restricting lives. Wide ranges of emotions semi-inauthentic boys emotion of anger.8 male only to the acceptable Male infants are more expressive emotionally some point this changes for most boys. Pollack this shift ashamed of behavior. The first a wide if they express cause is shame. but at female infants, causes two primary for are made Little boys to feel than

views

of emotions?especially of weakness, variety Little boys are raised to be tough. The second reason fear, and vulnerability. are typically from the separation their process. regards Boys separated around age six. The boy feels at a much earlier age than girls, usually mothers to feel ashamed are if these feelings and disconnected but is made abandoned Pollack calls this the "shame-hardening the boys process," where expressed. are told to act like a "real man," to keep emotions in check, and to show a sense of independence.9 to erode self-confidence and This shame haunts boys all their lives, serving them feeling sad, lonely, and disconnected.10 undermine self-esteem, leaving is the feeling that accompanies emotional In fact, the disconnection. are what many disconnection emotional feelings surrounding psychologists call "shame."11 to adolescent adolescent girls are not According psychologist Mary Pipher, their hurts the type of connections that allow them to communicate making and needs, and because of this lack of connection, they too are suffering. While Shame adolescent girls suffer on adolescent boys.12 and feel disconnected, the scope of this paper will for suffering them in their focus adoles present

One outlet that may provide and expression language crafted to meet cent boys is lyrics and music carefully

Aaron

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305

and freedom offer them the beginning This may steps of healing suffering. silence. As the adolescent listens to the lyrics of a song to from languageless and is thrust into an environment which he can relate, he feels connected ripe for facing and dealing with issues of pain and heartache. The song may pro to the adolescent vide the raw material and the space?the environment?for and needs. his feelings or a calls this space a "holding Robert Kegan environment" Psychologist a context in which is provided for the individual environment,,, "psychosocial serves the dual functions to Kegan, this environment to grow.13 According of which in timely and contradiction, "confirmation both securely hold, and, in the emergence assist of, the developing fashion, person."14 This environ can provide a safe place for the adolescent to begin to sense pain, while it ment as a challenge to deal with function that sensed pain. may simultaneously begin Connection healing manent to the music in the process and lyrics is merely of preliminary a suffering lead to deeper, more adolescent and will hopefully per I will argue in this essay connections with other trusted individuals. to participate environment and the opportunity that God can use this holding to begin or continue of lyrics and music, in the lament process the healing as an expression of of suffering adolescent lamentation, process boys. This balm, a faith, can serve to connect the sufferer to God and provide a linguistic to assess

healing of pain

state individual away from a mute process that may lead the suffering toward a place of change and solidarity. I will present of suffering. three phases First, I will discuss Soelle's Second, of lament that Soelle begins five voices of lament, continuing the conversation this two. Third, I will show how popular of phase in her understanding ("pop"? is the more and the music adolescents used word among commonly as lament. Fourth, I will offer Emo (short for emo functions industry) music as an adolescent form of lament. tional) music

The three phases of suffering

Doroth?e to ethicist and theologian and pain have a Soelle, suffering According the sufferer. She describes way of corroding and inhibiting language, silencing of suffering: and change. Each of the three three phases lamentation, Silence, is reflected in the different takes. The forms that language phases of suffering of first phase is a muted, phase, while the second is the beginning languageless a psalm-like that gives voice to the sufferer. Phase of lamentation language where the pain itself can three is characterized by unhindered self-expression be openly discussed and sorted. The third phase is a stage of change. one of suffering: Silence Phase is a phase of languageless The first phase of suffering of suffering includes isolation?the The burden always

silence more

and

isolation. the suffering,

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more

and this suffering is related isolation, of pain, The initial phase of language.15 The lament that feeling numb and mute. This suffering itself in unfeeling expresses no longer provide Institutions and rituals that might process they offer a learning silence.

a lack to a lack of communication, and isolation leaves one suffering comes at this stage is inarticulate. or impulsive outbursts. brooding the sufferer with language, allow for escape from this nor do stage of

languageless is left with few options. The result is neuroses. For this reason, the sufferer to sort out necessary This neurotic, disallows persons suffering stage steps to becomes merely In this the sufferer's be free. Therefore, behavior reactive.16 is impaired, first phase of suffering, and the sufferer one's course of action All hope seems lost. to learn from the suffering. lacks the wherewithal The sufferer is marked loses of suffering This phase by self-centeredness. In silence and disconnection, the ability to feel for others and isolates himself. viable the sufferer views death as an attractive, option. The focus becomes is consumed with this single goal. Much termination of pain?the whole-being of the body become the other members like physical pain, where secondary so this level of suffering may be all-consuming. While there and unimportant, is stuck in a state, where is one all-consuming objectives goal, the sufferer The situation, cannot be organized. rather toward than logic, domi change nates and he is left feeling powerless. the individual, at this phase. reflection is not an option Severe suffering Theological or change. Actions, in this first phase excludes the possibility of of learning are short-lived and done blindly; they are done in an unbearable suffering, is later amazed that is somehow who borne by the sufferer, pain by the amount of suffering that he endured. This initial phase of pain is experienced over and over, and it leaves the victim and alone. The pain feeling helpless and words.17 in his actions, of autonomy the individual thoughts, strips first must the normalcy To be free from phase one, the individual of recognize will point to the need for expression, this numb, mute phase. This realization which is part of phase two. The expression phase cannot be skipped as though over the suffering. one will be able to take specific actions that will triumph To states Soelle, is to skip over the needs of the sufferer. skip the expression phase, or co-determina The tools that the sufferer needs, possibly self-determination an tion, would be imposed on rather than accomplished by the sufferer. Without the sufferer will find he is helpless when new suffering emerges individual fight, cause. The basic alienation itself must be resolved.18 from a different that lay open before the silent sufferer. Soelle lists three primary options can deny the pain and become The first option is repression. The individual outwardly indifferent and sick?mentally, physically, Third, option, repression. sufferer could become the silent. Second, or both. This result of the first is also a possible can choose to face the pain and begin the individual

to work on it. The first step to facing the pain is finding language that could

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lead one out of the suffering the situation, least describes Phase

that is causing the silence?a that language a language of crying, pain, and lament.19

at

two of suffering: Lamentation of certain forms Soelle says, "Hopelessness the pain can still be articulated."20 Prayer lation that may be used to break through Soelle laments, "Prayer is today as good as

with has she asserts, oneself, dialogue number of people. The increased toward prayer has left individuals apathy mute and isolated. The loss of this monologue, or dialogue with self or God, has one of the primary for crying, dissolved outlets and cursing, stammering, or enlighten This loss of prayer does not serve to liberate humanity wishing.22 consciousness. Instead it is a loss of the endless possibilities for open available ended creative offers the sufferer an opportunity to make expression. Prayer his requests and pains known to a God who cares, speaks, and has the ability to act. Soelle asserts, act by which people transcend the mute God of an "Prayer is an all-encompassing endured reality and go over to the speaking God of a reality expe apathetically rienced with feeling in pain and happiness."23

can be endured where of suffering is a form of language and articu the silent suffering of phase one. dead and buried."21 To enter into to a growing become unnecessary

lament. It can serve as speech that reaches the and the sufferer's mute God's silence God, overcoming seeming of phase one. Old Testament scholar Delbert Hillers writes the value of lament concerning in times of struggle. He states, "Men live on best after calamity, not by utterly their grief and shock, but by facing it, by measuring its dimensions, repressing their experience."24 Phase one of by finding some words to order and articulate is the phase of muted, in phase two the suf while suffering lonely suffering, ferer uses "psalmic" language of lament to describe pain. Phase two paves the two is the changing of behavior. Phase way, she says, for phase three, which it serves to strip away the walls of denial intensifies the pain because actually As one begins to describe and distraction. the pain and fear, emotions erupt. than a merely rational of circumstances This is more but also a explanation Prayer speaking existence in the pain.25 Phase two allows for the individual to take the pain participation to look at it carefully. this realistic look at pain, one seriously, Only through can begin to formulate other questions that will ultimately lead to solutions In phase becomes that may the suffering. behavior conquer two, reactive the active. the sufferer begins to experience Instead of a powerless passivity, lament. power of proactive behavior, namely, The stage of lamentation, is vital to reach and poetic expression articulation, a stage of liberation and organized and "by giving voice to says Soelle, thought, of the framework lament one can intercept and work on his suffering within

can be the sufferer's

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Journal of Religion and Health

to discover and express one's own affliction Finding ways to face and express his If he does not find ways to the sufferer. is imperative it or will be overtaken he will either be destroyed by apathy. The origin by pain as the expression itself. is not as important and form of this language on self-expression. is dependent to Soelle, human existence Putting According communication... into words or other one's life and circumstances to the human condition. Without communication, avenues there of expression is basic can be no change.27

three of suffering: Change Phase toward of phase The two, states itself, Soelle, "presses language beyond silence of phase one Phase three is the phase of change. The mute change."28 a lament and behavior in of perspective in phase two, and a change becomes and communica of phase one becomes three. The isolation expression phase is one of self in phase three. This final phase tion in phase two and solidarity of and discussed itself can now be spoken openly. expression?the suffering as layers of camouflaged the suffering This is also a painful phase, intensifying away and seen for what they truly are. The pain and suf pain are stripped as something no longer toned down merely that prevails everywhere fering is an aspect of the human for The suffering is exposed and is simply experience. as something The that affects the individual. it is. It is taken seriously, what in a way the suffering value of phase three is the ability to organize primary is replaced behavior Reactive that allows it to be conquerable. by active not only able to organize is the pain but In phase three the sufferer behavior.29 it. is also able to actively work on healing no The sufferer is also characterized three Phase by rational language. longer songs, allows suffers poems, for necessary silently. He and psalms. change. longer dependent Instead he experiences is no on the autonomy found in language of action, which

The

five

voices

of lament

is the phase that will be two of Soelle's Phase threefold journey of the sufferer of lament. The following of this essay?the the focus of the remainder phase it to suffering adolescent that Soelle began, extends the discussion relating use lament as a form of healing. and how they might boys Lament The them. honesty salving?if painfully as balm linguistic in the book of Lamentations,

poems The

says Old Testament

scholar

Dobbs

Allsopp, served to help the Jewish people articulate their feelings and evaluate
are often emotionally their with weighty lyrics of these poems a linguistic of to "fashion balm capable and imagination, serving so scars and wounds not removing?the of the suffering they to be otherwise and the .in doing so, they create the capacity figure..

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for survival..." has no straightforward The book of Lamentations possibility as the beginning serve of of hope. of a process The poems expression to find healing and seeking of the recent for, painful experiences remembering, is found in the willingness to speak out.30 This has the and distant past. Hope as the suffering the suffering effect of surpassing itself is being described. This can serve to momentarily act of lamentation could add perspective, which the silent sufferer's transform condition.31 possibly can often be a difficult task and requires the right environment Facing pain and mindset. find it easier and pain. In the Most at first adolescents to?avoid (as well dealing as adults) would rather?or at least issues of hurt with and remembering

book of Lamentations, observes, poetry, Dobbs-Allsopp "Lyrical to be uttered its ritual is discourse that is meant again. Through it to lit the lyric poem becomes accessible, properties open..." He compares of structures of devotion, and other that it has a "quality saying urgies generally, that draws in the reader or listener, them to transferable experience" causing of the rituality them for themselves. them on" and experience Therefore, "try the poetry "becomes a coercive force for giving voice."32 are "coer some time and repetition, the writer's After pain and suffering on the listener in such a way that they become the cries cively superimposed" of the listener. At this point, they are comforted by the fact that they are not in order to express their grief. alone and too have found a language suffering one is powerless to emotions that and reserved Without capability, linguistic are vague and formless rather than clear and defined. Dobbs-Allsopp states, one finds one's own hurts and grief so in which "To come across a language can be a wonderfully and expressed and accurately named consoling precisely and forever Lament transformative experience."33

as catharsis value of not only complaint also speaks of the potential against Dobbs-Allsopp can be brought to God, but also anger. Even our most bitter thoughts God, a full expression be cathartic, of emotion. This expression may demonstrating comes and debilitating, the inner deadness anger, which built-up shaking from victimization.34 sees four significant factors of the ability to voice pain. First Dobbs-Allsopp as well as physical wounds need to be bound is a medical Mental significance. the sufferer voice to pain can lead to the type of mental up. Giving healing to be able to express "fears and pain is all needs. This voicing and the language and cannot be skipped." Second, there is a therapeutic important significance. The create a language, which is re-created poet and songwriter by the reader on one's heart is of the issues that weigh heavily and listener. Third, speaking a way of forcing the pain to be seen objectively. This objectification of pain there are is brought it less potent. When forth as a type of protest renders pain of protest ethical The sufferer's words ramifications. speak boldly of pain's

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Journal of Religion and Health

for consolation and medication. there is an ele uselessness, Fourth, calling as they ment of imagination in this language, often describing circumstances cause suffering to be, a fictitious that to be endurable. One's ought language can put them in a different a hopeful state of mind, state that may imagination lead to self-motivated, restorative action.35 potentially in this prior statement is the perceived The danger of the idea perpetuation to physical is confined that work task that one com action, an accomplished .are every bit as The truth is that "linguistic acts.. pletes with his hands. crucial and theologically can physically do."36 Lament as protest The Old Testament significant in times of great suffering as anything we

in the literary tradition stands that in such a way that and imagery, provides poetic language, including metaphor allows people to confront to think about or issues that are otherwise difficult serves as an attempt to offer the necessary discuss. This poetic language tools to embrace for the sufferer and survive. the healing process, pain, begin to Walter of pain is the only avenue the embrace According Brueggemann, can be submitted to God and therefore resolved. through which suffering book of Lamentations While when this pain to God is the avenue for the resolution of pain, submitting to speech, is brought it questions God and the social structures that pain God has set in place. Without this voice of protest, which the challenges there can be no future that exists better than the present.37 present,

Lament is a risk because it is ultimately

(and maybe directly) addressing

or condemning and even questioning in times God, who seems to be impotent of struggle. This type of attack takes a certain measure of faith, a faith in the covenant God and God's between faith relationship people. A covenanted assume that God seeks to be challenged must and related to.38 relationship This challenging God because "no situation falls outside of Yahweh's questions responsibility." is itself an expression This questioning, of faith because laments are however, cries of belief in a God who has the ability and desire to transform hopeful pain into joy.39 Lamentation of one who refuses to live. It is not a is not an expression a realization of despair. Lamentation manifestation is a protest, of something gone awry. It is itself a fight, a choice to remain in the battle of hope versus is an active resistance to apathy and hopelessness?the despair. Lamentation that God has been emasculated?which says, "I have not given up the posture even if the only strength I can muster in grief."40 results merely fight, having as confession While is an expression lamentation is also Lamentation responsibility. Lament and guilt. Lamentation responsibility blame coupled with a cry for mercy.41

of grief, it is not an attempt to avoid all a confession, a confession of appropriate often speaks of an understanding of self

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Lament

as reaffirmation of faith in the face of suffering is an act of resis to Dobbs-Allsopp, lament According nature feat of self aversive and is a "bold and heroic tance to suffering's allows and the God who This actualization." it, is a cry against suffering, revolts its inherent attack against human dignity. Complaint protest against

against this affront, calling it deplorable. With the knowledge that humankind
was humankind a relational the authentic for which existence for goodness, lament demands was intended. In addition, is a reaffirmation that God is complaint concern is the divine-human God God whose utmost relationship. the biblical but throughout One in the covenant is the sovereign relationship, created

witness God makes it clear that this relationship has high priority and intense
as seen in Job, Psalms, is subject and Lamentations, value. God's sovereignty, to God's desire to benefit God's covenant partner. God will not simply tolerate it as part of the covenantal relation human input and lament; God requires come before the throne of grace with concerns that humanity God desires ship. In fact, lament itself is of renewal with hopes and change. and complaints, is alive and open. Lament is an evidence that the covenantal relationship and questions of a real faith, a faith that engages God.42 example

Adolescents*

popular

C'pop") music

as their

language

of lament

to good music understands Music moves people. Anyone who has ever listened the a way of bypassing of the intellect the walls and targeting that music has some type of response. with poignant Combined often demanding emotions, can manipulate and evoke tears, emotions regret, anger, happi lyrics, music and lyrics can even cause some etc. Music ness, a sense of social responsibility, of their to begin to face issues of pain that have been locked in the recesses or in outbursts, themselves heart and mind that often only manifest neurosis, as a powerful and faced. God can use music when not understood depression in the beginning tool of healing, stages of the healing process?the especially one and phase sufferer's two of Soelle's three-phase phase bridge between journey. creatures whose natures says, "Human beings are passionate Dobbs-Allsopp as much as by physical needs and are constituted and cognitive by emotions an emotional must involve he asserts, of lamentation, desires." Lyrics of lan and not just an "intellectual Manipulation response appreciation."43 the creates and gives meaning and syntax beyond images guage, rhythm, use of alliteration, and the mere of the lyrics. Also, the content assonance, consonance effect.44 With a proficient of sound help create the artist's intended understanding with connect of music adolescents, adolescents may feel free by the artist or triggered it affects lyrics that people, along with an environment, can create where the artist as described to face the painful issues in their lives of the lyrical circumstances. by the similarity and how

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Journal of Religion and Health

to than mere and a desire ideas, experiences, to others with maximum and help Communicating understanding a fusion of a certain musical emotional effect requires combined proficiency itself can only do in part, with with a message what the medium that matches The artist must have others. a delivery commu that likewise If the artist is able to successfully coheres. then he may be able to nicate and effectively, describe his suffering, poetically a connection The music may serve to create with his young audience. establish a receptive the lyrics connecting with the sufferer, giving him a environment, sense that he is not alone in his pain. of Lamentations, pop music with may lyrics of lamentation in this second phase of suffering. benefit and suffering adolescents hurting to express Some their pain types of popular music may give teens language a way that an appropriate and also tap into their emotions in such "holding Like the book environment" Pop music's some While for healing is created.

more

and possibility limitation radio and underground, of toda/s (both mainstream, pop music serve as a faithful, to God, much of it will not cry may independent) prayerful serve as the faith cry to God for help as understood and by Brueggemann It will neither the Dobbs-Allsopp. speak to God out of faith nor protest. Often a lyrics will simply be a cry, not a cry to God. This cry can be, however, to begin with who simply need any language starting point for adolescents or anything. at anyone who is stuck in phase one of directed The adolescent to simply bring them suffering may be able to use these lyrics of lamentation

into phase two may silence becomes Phase two, where expression. provide into phase that he can transition in the adolescent three, enough healing to change. and a sense of autonomy of action, where there is freedom leading as it can of lament inasmuch the benefits pop music may possess Therefore, and voice to the silent through for the languageless lyrics that provide words adolescent. This cry can potentially lead the speak the heart of the suffering to the God who draws near to the to a faith cry as a response adolescent sufferer and has the power to affect change. Music adolescents. roles in the life of common American One of plays many of talking out their deep these is the role of counselor Instead and comforter. sense of loneliness and disconnection, and allow it to they turn up the music has a way of speaking to and them. Music soothe, comfort, and even distract connect young people. Many through often uses music own.45 The adolescent to that which to experience he wants
words.

with

the lyrics and make them their to serve as a catalyst to turn his mood and allows the lyrics to become his

is that it provides of lament-filled popular music to create a "holding environment" where the suf ferer is prompted, to begin to look more closely at issues and feels comfortable, seems to be created as a result of of pain extant in his heart. This environment

One of the great benefits some of the tools necessary

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ment

the cooperation of the music, Not only is the environ artist, and adolescent. and fear of being is no intimidation but there created, emotionally to to another It can allow human the suffering adolescent exposed being. search his heart for a short period of time in a safe place.

Emo While

music

as adolescents'

form

of lament

seem more adolescents to being music moves all people, susceptible affected by it. This is true partially because adolescents need to feel, profoundly or to allow to be inspired to experience, in order to be motivated by something to be deeply affected by it.46 For this reason, they are looking to be themselves and to experience time to moved have more Also, adolescents through music. search out and listen to music, and this is exactly what they are doing. They want to be moved, and they also want to fit in with their friends who are part of the music sub-culture, whether it is Punk, Indie, Emo, New Wave, Hip-Hop, et

cetera. While acknowledging the risk that they will be moved by the wrong
things and to entation from phase music with in the wrong God can use pop music with direction, lyrics of lam can be moved the process of healing. Adolescents start, or continue, one of suffering to phase two with the raw materials by provided of lamentation. communicate of this nature lyrics thoughts, Songs to connect with adolescents, to meet that have the potential ideas and feelings are and provide them where them with a holding environment. they of lyrics of One modern that would well fit the description genre of music which evokes the incorporates and emotion, passion in phase two of suffering. also that style of music is Emo. Emo music invites could contem serve to

lamentation, and plation

This genre of music help adolescents emerged from scene by 1977 in the underground Punk music, which became very popular its roots in songs as early as the late 1960s with finding Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, as fast-paced, and Alice Cooper. Punk music songs began simple bar-chorded with anti-war and anti-political angry adolescent boys singing lyrics (while a truncated it will suffice for the present purpose). this is certainly description, use of minor has a similar chords and major Emo music sound but makes which tend to create a somber, pensive mood rather than an adrenaline nines, a wider is more of than Punk, rush. Emo music range dynamic evoking a fast-paced to have Rather Emo tends emotions. than keeping up sound, than a levels of intensity, many ranging from a soft vocal over nothing more a driving to many drum beat and guitars by raging piano accompanied the lyrics are a hybrid of anger importantly, crashing cymbals. Also, and most mixed mary defined Also, with hurt. expressions Hurt, heartbreak, of Emo's cries. suffering, and lamentation are the pri

For example Jeremy Enigk of Sunny Day Real Estate voiced the cry that
Emo music saying, "You are treating me I bleed myself," "I dream to heal your wounds/But so differently/So I can't explain/I feel like different,

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Journal of Religion and Health

Letters

to you," from Unsent Letters' 'Three Weeks." Another Unsent now you're with him/Your song says, "You said he's just a friend/But was killing me/I should have known all along," which indifference comes from the song called "You Knew The Outcome." Chris Carrabba of Dashboard I'm invisible the Florida based Singer/Songwriter, sings, "I begged you not to

Confessional, as you

go/I begged you/I pleaded/I claimed you as my only hope/and watched the floor
has sprung a perfect dive/A perfect day/A perfect lie/A retreated/Hope crafted monologue defeat." Another called Taking your slowly conceding band, Back from the song "Head Club," the following Sunday, sings lyrics, "It's

getting colder/and we're getting distant/and I just keep thinking that/I never
meant Ohio it to be based band, sings tell you its over/Always ourselves dizzy gets us sings, "As I sit Joseph," like this/It's worse than you think." Brandtson, a song called "With Friends Like You": to wage a war/Don't you smile trying nowhere." The Juliana here helpless/Don't a Cleveland, "I came here to

anymore/talking in the song "Duane Theory, said go/You said you wouldn't/You Swing," The All American of her/She's seeing other

you couldn't/I think of our time together/Is it fading/Am I dreaming/Every

thing you said lives on." In the song called Rejects sing, "Days swiftly come and go/Tin "Swing, dreaming

guys/Emotions they stir/The nights are long/And I am left while the tears fall/
swing, swing from the tangles ofiMy heart is crushed by a former love/ Swing, Can you help me find a way to carry on again?" This cry from the All American is one example of a possible cry to God who can help one to carry on Rejects after broken relationship.

Adolescents

tend to be in and out of relationships so frequently

that their

seldom have an opportunity hearts to mend from the previous before break-up the next one drops onto their lap like a bomb. This form of suffering is very and real to adolescents. In this their of powerful minds, type and unaccepted?is unlovable not trivial. For suffering?rejection, feeling of rejection these experiences and abandonment many adolescents, trigger created by painful and early adoles childhood similar, much feelings deeper cent circumstances of infinite variety. comes from a fiction novel that displays The following this truth: passage "The music moved him. His inner man found something during her performance that only it understood, something eternal, painful, and ultimately comforting. It to him in a way that language alone couldn't. Words contain so little spoke that the spirit cannot be satisfied with these alone. It was during this meaning song that he was aware ofthat. If his heart had a central turning point, an axis around which all of his life orbited, then music like this lands there every now and again. And it doesn't just land, it claims and rearranges, sometimes pain Sometimes he didn't want to deal with the song-pain.. .But the mercy of the fully. song was that when it ended, the hurt ended too. Usually. Why did he crave the action of that song on his heart? It was like the song took him into the inner chamber of his heart, where all the scared feelings had been for years.. .The and arrangements notes, melodies, kept him from feeling anything else than the

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deepest hurts he still carried.. .Aviolent reaction to the music was therapeutic for him. He couldn't express how thankful he was that something existed out there that would pry into the areas he would never ask anyone to try to get into. He never had to look her music in the eyes. It was much safer than a flesh covered human like himself. The music asked the tough questions to his soul, bypassing the intellect entirely."47 can serve to be helpful to adolescents, it is not without its Emo music to the "Boy Code." One critic says, "Forget of whom subscribe critics, many bombs and the real impact of trickle down economics, it's all about elusive emotional Jessica kisses and tender-yet-undeniably-masculine outbursts."48 across America became soiled with torrential goes on to say, "Mixtapes Hopper While anthems relational of hopeful boy hearts masted to sleeves, pillows soaked in tears, and eulogies."49 This attack on boys who feel free to express other than anger any emotions is part of the problem is nothing discussed earlier new, which concerning of the "Boy Code." Pollack Pollack's says boys need understanding rightly and look to as a source of hope heroes and role models whom they can emulate and direction.50 of emotion, is healing for If expression pain, and suffering well as young girls?then those boys and young male adults young boys?as seem to be providing a positive for who are creating Emo music role model can lead emotions young boys who are bound by the "Boy Code." While sharing to healing, many boys are reluctant to share their feelings for fear of ridicule or appearing can be free from the fear of to Pollack, weak.51 According boys ridicule emotions. by hearing As the stories adolescent from and other males about their own experiences stories hears about another male having boy

etc., he fear, embarrassment, hurt, heartbreak, experienced disappointment, is less inclined to feel ashamed of his own feelings of vulnerability.52 Songs with of hurt and emotional expression lyrics of lamentation, pain, says How if composed well, ard Gardner, may begin to provide a "bridge." Emo music, medium that boys already could serve as the bridge?the enjoy. Use of this can begin transforming the boy's mind.53 bridge one adolescent an interview said, "I listen to Emo music when Fm During I usually I feel comforted I'm by myself. listen to it when lonely. feeling I can get out my angry.. Another ado because .well, my negative feelings." "When I'm upset I listen to certain Emo songs. It makes me lescent responded, else has gone through the feel better to know that someone have and has experienced the same emotions that I have. I'm the lyrics of certain the feelings songs that describe "I listen to Emo almost everyday. Most adolescent reported, If anything, it gives me something to positive Emo, though. screamo when sometimes [ScrEmo] one else does the screaming for me, it too. It gives me comfort."55 I'm frustrated and I know same things that I I can connect with A third having."54 of it is somewhat to. I listen to so some something relate went through

about that that person

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Journal of Religion and Health

use of honest, that make of other genres vul to invite the listener to has the power nerable, lyrics, inner-self-exposing Emo songs scream the cries of the adolescent and participation. contemplation to try them on and partic heart and give these young people an opportunity Emo music, as well as music songs allow the silent-suffering ipate in this crying out. In doing so, these to voice his lament, even if the voice is not yet his but an under adolescent it his own. The voice that leaves room for him to eventually make standing of these lyrics of lamentation is that they speak words that the sufferer power Emo songs have identifies and connects with. Like the poems in Lamentations, to allow for a suffering to voice pain and grief. The adolescent the potential in which they may be sung may give lyrics of these songs and the repetitions to express his voice. The the listener not only language, but also opportunity is not only in the giving of voice to pain power of these lyrics of lamentation These but also in the giving of permission. and suffering the lyrics authorize to feel what he already the feels and to speak out, to cry out against sufferer suffering.56 in modern culture such as "suck it up" With prevailing pseudo-philosophies in a situation and "get over it," an adolescent boy may easily find himself where he feels guilty or weak if he expresses This concern, or complaint. grief, can be mentally him to repress emotions rather than to causing paralyzing, a sufferer of the benefits to of lament. Giving the permission take advantage medium steps. By using a option, an option toward healing are already familiar with and enjoy?Emo music can possibly with of lamentation?these paralyzing lyrics pseudo-philosophies and overcome. be dispelled where Pollack affirms that boys need a place, free from fear of ridicule, they can express and warm their most vulnerable feelings openly.57 Adolescent or even by is performed boys may begin by going to concerts where Emo music can to them in their own room. These avenues Emo CDs and listening buying lament gives him another that adolescents

be the beginning merely singing along with steps of openly sharing, whether a trusted as a first step, or sharing with friend. The the vulnerable lyrics can be used as a platform to begin dialogue. music One aspect of giving voice to, and language for, pain is "naming." To be able to to vague feelings of pain can aid in the healing words process. Suffering put cannot be avoided in a world filled with sin, pain, and loss. It can, however, be made endurable. allows pain to become owned and better understood, Naming a level of healing and to eventually be consolable. Naming by helping provides the sufferer to articulate pain, allowing the suffering to become a remembrance.

Concluding

thoughts a cure-all one for adolescents, but are merely by no means a process of healing found which God can begin or continue

Emo songs are avenue through

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and understanding. God can use these songs connectedness, through sharing, in the first stages of healing and use them to bring awareness of of lament can offer an environment This music to begin for the suffering individual pain. to think about and develop vocabulary to describe their pain. In some cases, can serve as a prayer the music of faith for the adolescent, him to allowing connect with God. Emo songs serve best to transition the sufferer from Soelle's phase one to a languageless, to a lament two-from of consolation. silent suffering phase these songs may only serve to make the suffering worse, at first. Experiencing The songs and lyrics can provide the raw material that may dredge up the in the adolescent's bitterness and hurt that exists heart and no longer allow state of denial and distraction. him to remain in the destructive These songs can and an outlet for the sufferer, which lead to a language may potentially lead to freedom, healing, change, and even into dialogue with God in these songs may aid in the process their cries. Use of the language so that vague emotions cease to haunt the sufferer. The songs of naming pain the lyrics, for example, could prompt the adolescent and boy to take a closer, more serious look at the hurt and pain that often manifests itself in anger. ultimately who hears can manage someone the only expression is to sing, to suffering an artist who has shout along to deeply personal, descriptive lyrics written by a similar pain. As the one in pain sings along to the deeply honest experienced and penetrating of the the words lyrics, the lyricist's words slowly become sufferer. The lines become blurred between the artist and the participant. The words are imbibed and applied. The lyrics describe and clarify. They no longer Sometimes ex to the artist or poet, but also to the listener who can participate at least at first. from a safe distance, that comes only songs will not do the hard work of lasting connection to the but may serve the purpose of an initial connection through relationship, an can relate in verse. He will have to this truth who hurting, spoken to participate and will, hopefully, feel com in this lamentation opportunity belong clusively These to share his lament, pain, and grief with another fortable enough individual can be trusted. The act of lamentation whom song and verse can be through to the suffering and God can also use used by God to bring healing adolescent, to make to the adolescent. this healing connection and connecting the ultimate serves as a prayer, which as the lamentation it often does, the Inasmuch can connect with and petition the God who cares. adolescent to the music he knows that the While he feels connected because listening not be able to so poignantly the pain artist would describe that he is that someone if he had not been there himself. He feels comforted experiencing seems to understand him and that he is not alone nor crazy to have these over his head. He feels and feelings, this sense of depression thoughts hanging and the artist seems to have suffered much but has survived, hopeful because survived well, to tell the tale. This sense of connection, comfort, and hope has of denial and distraction, him to begin to crashed allowing through his walls

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Journal of Religion and Health

to grieve and permission in the opportunity clearly. He appreciates The lyrics of the songs, that he face of his suffering. He feels comforted. the into his own thoughts; they give him lan keeps give him clarity repeating, name his pain. He continues to sing along to guage and help him to begin to as a the lyrics, and the words begin to become his own. He uses the words to the God who uses the music to draw him connecting His dialogue and relationship. becomes restoration, partner healing, some of his to share God, but not only God. He feels comfortable enough a friend, the culture-induced shame with of the "Boy overcoming suffering out of the vague, Code." These connections dull pain of help him break continues. He is not na?ve en and meaninglessness.. his journey depression prayer toward of lament, are over, ough to think that his troubles toward healing, and restoration. freedom, but he knows that he is on his way

see more

Notes 1. Doroth?e Soelle, Suffering, trans. Everett R. Kaiin (Philadelpia: Fortress Press, 1975) 61.
2. Henri 3. Janet (New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1969) 95. Nouwen, Intimacy in adolescent and Sasson 2002). connection, Candor, enterprise therapy Edgette, All personal and emotional Crabb he says, Christian agrees. Larry struggles, psychologist a failed which results in lifelessness. stem from connection and a deficit of togetherness, can be described as a "condition the to Crabb, of existence where disconnection According to no one, where we are profoundly attached unknown part of who we are is vibrantly deepest J.M.

and therefore experience neither the thrill of being believed in nor the joy of loving or being loved." Larry Crabb, Connecting (Nashville: Word Publishing, 1997) 32 and 44. 4. William Pollack, Real boys (New York: Henry Holt and Company, 1998) 173.
5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. Ibid, Ibid, Ibid, Ibid, Ibid, Ibid, Ibid, 23. 3. 6. 7. 11. 25. 32. Pipher, Reviving ophelia: Saving the selves of adolescent girls (New York: Bailan tine

12. Mary 13.

Books, 1995) 26.

of a "holding which is a phrase that he Robert environment," Psychologist Kegan speaks but Kegan from psychologist offers his own view of the frequency borrows D.W. Winnicott, of to occur only in infancy, this period these opportunities. While Winnicott understood Kegan to occur many times throughout one's life and understands these "psychosocial environments" Robert Kegan, The evolving also names these periods of time, "cultures of embeddedness." self: and process in human Harvard Problem (Massachusetts: 1982) Press, University development 116. Soelle, 75.

14. Ibid, 140.

15.

16. Ibid, 70. 17. Ibid, 69. 18. Ibid, 71.

19. 20. 21. 22. 23. Soelle, Soelle, Soelle, Ibid. Ibid, 78. 70. 74. 76.

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24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36.

Delbert

Hillers, 71. SoeUe, Ibid, 74. Ibid, 76. Ibid, 72.

Lamentations

(New York:

Doubleday

and Company,

Inc.,

1972)

xvi.

29. Ibid.
Dobbs-Allsopp, Ibid, 6. Dobbs-Allsopp, Ibid, 35. Ibid, 39. Ibid. Old testament theology (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1992) 27. 3. 34.

Ibid, 36. 37. Walter Brueggemann, 38. Ibid, 28. 39. Ibid, 29. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. Ibid. xvi. Hillers, F.W. Dobbs-Allsopp, Dobbs-Allsopp, Ibid, 25. Pipher, 21. 14.

Lamentations

(Louisville:

John

Knox

Press,

2002)

38.

46. Erik Erikson, Identity, youth, and crisis (New York: W.W. Norton, 1968) 130. 47. James Cole, Cohesion: A novel about the unity of all things (Unpublished book) 2002.
48. Some Where Pollack, Ibid. of music critics refer to this genre the girls aren't," punk planet.com, 175. as "whinny PP56 (2003) and 1. pathetic." Jessica Hopper, "Emo:

49. Ibid.
50. 51. 53. 54. 55. 56. 57.

52. Howard Gardner, The disciplined mind (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1999) 104.
Ibid, 8. I know who I found adolescents listen to Emo music, interviewed several whom Having as those mentioned, all had similar but with varied responses descriptions. is a sub-genre "Screamo" of Emo, where the melodic vocals often turn to a scream. 175. Pollack, Ibid. that

References
Fortress Press. (1992). Old testament Walter, theology. Minneapolis: A novel about the unity of all things. Unpublished. (2002). Cohesion: Nashville: Word (1997). Connecting. Crabb, Larry, Publishing. and enterprise in adolescent Janet (2002). Candor, connection, Sasson, therapy. Edgette, York: W.W. Norton. Press. F.W. Louisville: John Knox (2002). Lamentations. Dobbs-Allsopp, and crisis. New York: W.W. Norton. (1968). Identity, Erikson, Erik, youth, mind. and Schuster. New York: Simon (1999). The disciplined Howard, Gardner, Inc. New York: Doubleday and Company, (1972). Lamentations. Delbert, Hillers, 1-2. the girls aren't." punk planet.com, PP56: "Emo: Where (2003). Jessica, Hopper, Brueggemann, Cole, James, (1982). The Robert, Kegan, evolving Press. chusetts: Harvard University Nouwen J.M. (1969). Intimacy. Henri, Books. self: Problem New York: and process in human development.

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Massa

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Pipher, Mary, (1995). Reviving Ophelia:Saving the selves of adolescent girls. New York: Ballantine Pollack, William,
Soelle, Doroth?e,

(1998). Reed boys. New York: Henry Holt and Company.

(1975). Suffering. Translated by Everett R. Kalin. Philadelpia: Fortress Press.