The Subtle Art of Motivation: Presentation given at IECA, Philadelphia May 6, 2011

Jed Appelrouth, NCC, MS Professional Counseling, 10 Year Tutor 5th year PhD Student in Educational Psychology, Georgia State University

My Goal
Everyone gets one motivational gem to take home and try with a student

Remember: Its important to declare your intention with your students

As I do with my students, I always like to announce my intention and purpose before I begin a session. My intention today is to give everybody at least one thing to take away, one technique or gem to bring home and try with your own students. There will be plenty of room for dialogue. I know theres a lot of collective wisdom in the room, and Id like us to be able to share with each other the things that have worked.

Motivation: what is it?

a little low on motivation?

Lets begin with motivation. Are there students out there who are low on motivation? Now my answer to this is, honestly,.. No.

No student is low on motivation. Every behavior is motivated

However, you may need to help redirect a students motivation

No student is ever low on motivation. Every single thing a student does is motivated to some extent, but our job is to help the student redirect that motivation. Even the kids who are not motivated the way you want them to be are doing something that interests them, moves or inspires them.

Ive worked with students who were highly motivated to

Avoid being embarrassed Protect their fragile egos Make their parents wrong Defy the family script Make a grab for more power Stay safe (major motivator!)
These motivational profiles did not always lead to high GPAs or test scores
Has anyone ever worked with a student who was motivated to avoid being embarrassed? There is one researcher I love, Dr Richard LaVoie, who said, being an adolescent is a 24/7, every day of the year effort to avoid being embarrassed. That sums it up nicely! Some students are trying to play it safe in terms of defending their egos. Others are working against family scripts: expectations of parents, grandparents, the shadows cast by older siblings. How do you get out from under that shadow? Sometimes I work with students who are going for a power grab in their family. In these cases, my intention and the parents intentions are very different from that of the student. We are playing different games, and to effectively motivate a student, you will need to figure out what game the student is playing. Some students will have a motivational profile that will not be so helpful in attaining a great GPA or high test scores or getting into a great college.

Has anyone ever work with a student motivated to get low grades or scores or not finish their college essays?

Here we have an open question for the audience. Have any of you ever had a student walk into your office who was motivated to actually get a low GPA or low scores or not finish their college essays? What was that like? Audience member: It was gut-wrenching to figure out if we were ever going to get through this by the end date. I mean the student fought the process every inch of the way. The parents had dragged him to my office because they were not making any progress on their own. So the student is kicking and screaming on their way to your office. Is that going to end well? Has anybody else had something like this happen? Audience member 1: One of my students told me she had a crush on her tutor. She wanted to keep seeing her tutor. (laughter) (Laughing) and thats a great reason to keep those test scores low! Thats hilarious. Audience member 2: And your advice was what? A1: I did share it, in not so many words, with the parents. I told them they were spending a lot of money on tutoring and suggested that they switch tutors. A3: Ive had students whose parents had a particular agenda. They wanted their child to attend a prestigious school, and they werent paying attention to what the student wanted.

In our work, everything hinges upon the students in front of us. What are the values of your student? What are the beliefs of your student? What are the needs of your student? Its not about the parents. They are the ones paying the bill, but it all comes down to the kid in front of you. If youre going to be a good agent for motivation and change for a particular student, you will really need to understand him, to have this dialogue and learn his secrets. It really is something of a secret. You have the surface level: what is your student presenting when he walks in? But underlying this, what is truly motivating and driving the student? Which core values are impacting his behavior? This often comes up in session two or three. Or even four, fix or six before you really come to understand what is driving this students behaviors.

Ever try to take away a students defense mechanism(s)?

The decision to let down those defenses ultimately belongs to the student
So here we have an interesting drawing. Has anyone ever tried to take away a students defense mechanisms, the things that are keeping him safe? My model for motivating students is not one of force. It is formed by my background in counseling and therapy. Its working with students, more of a horse whisperer kind of model of motivation than dragging a student to a particular outcome. Parents may throw more money at the situation and may pull even harder, but ultimately that is not the way. Money or force rarely work in a situation with adolescents who are deep in their process of identity formation, who are really becoming who they are, rather than who their parents want them to be.

This is not the Tiger Mothers Guide to Motivation!

Force is only one path to motivation, and frequently has negative, unintended consequences
How many of you had a really strong response when you read that article bouncing around the net? When I read the tale of the tiger mom, I had quite a visceral response. Personally, I really dont like bringing force into the relationship. It actually is antithetical to my philosophy of how to work with students, in terms of the goals that I want to achieve. To achieve short term goals, force can certainly be effective, but if our end goal is to build independent thinkers and self-aware individuals, force is not the proper approach.

The motivational game that I prefer: my student is my partner, my collaborator

And my students values come first!!!

Im looking to create a partnership with my student, to create an alliance in which my student knows that his values come first. Im not trying to force my values upon my student: i.e. these are my values and I will make you accept them by any means necessary. My preference is to move him subtly and gently towards a more adaptive place. Where we end up may not be exactly where his parents had planned, as some of you know well. We are getting paid by the parents, but we are also beholden to the students. We have an obligation to them.

The basic premise of my approach to motivation:

Rapport begets Influence

Influence is my end game. Nurturing a resilient, reflective human being is a primary goal. I begin by meeting the student exactly where he/she is.
The essence of my approach is very different from the tiger approach: it is based on rapport. In my experience, its the rapport that you build which gives you influential power with a student. I focus so intensely on rapport with my students. I want to have a resilient, reflective student at the end of our work together. So I am going to meet him exactly where he is. I am aware of the parents agenda, but I want to learn what motivates the student, what does he want? Any conclusion we arrive at together, I want to make sure my student comes to it of his own free will.

Understanding the Values and Motivational Profile of your student

Every behavior is motivated, What is motivating the behavior of this student? What are the short and long term goals, dreams, anxieties of this student?

In terms of understanding a students motivational profile, you (pointing to an audience member) spoke about one students goal of being able to hang out with her tutor, get closer with her tutor over time and maybe go to prom with the tutor (audience laughs). Weve had that experience also where students have asked our tutors out for dates and to the prom! (Clearly we have policies against that!) But what is important is to really get at the underlying motivation, and understand the goals, dreams, anxieties and fears of the student. If you can understand their anxieties and fears, you can ultimately understand what motivates many of their behaviors. And with that knowledge you can develop a sense of how to create a sense of safety for your students. I never want to attack or try to take away a students defenses: in my book this is highly disrespectful. You must work with and understand a students defenses. Additionally I want to focus on my students long term goals, the high level motivators, and see if I can make connections between what I am asking them to do in the present and what they want for themselves in the future. I can help my students recalibrate how this particular activity or outcome actually ties into their long term vision for themselves. Not for their parents. Not for anyone else. But how does this serve their values. I always speak to the values of my students, and I get very focused on understanding the value structures of each of my students.

What motivates your students?

Another open question for the audience: What are the things that motivate your students? A1: Acceptance Acceptance, being accepted, what else? A2: Success Success motivates them. A3: Not having to come and see you Being able to stop coming to see you, to get their time and life back: thats motivating. A4: Not being nagged by mom and dad A5: Torturing their parents Torturing their parents motivates, thats interesting! A6: Getting it done Getting it finished, being finished with the process A7: Wanting to please their parents. Ok. So we have all these different family dynamics at play: defiance, acceptance, compliance

A8: Maybe irritating their parents. All these nuances of getting to the parents. I also played that game when I was younger. Did anyone else play that game, trying to give your parents the rub? A lot of us did, so we understand those kids when they come to us.

Some Motivational Profiles

Status: need to know how our self-conception is influenced by the opinions of other people Inquisitiveness: need to know and to learn Affiliation: need to associate with something larger Power: need for control, power, influence and authority Aggression: need to be contentious Autonomy: need to be independent Achievement: need for recognition and acknowledgement Gregariousness: need to belong
Richard LaVoie The Motivation Breakthrough

Here is a researcher I like who speaks to this. Dr. Richard LaVoie wrote a book called The Motivation Breakthrough, and he identified 8 different orientations which I think are useful. He believes that you have a motivational profile thats fairly consistent over time. This is similar to the Myers Briggs personality profiles where you have certain preferences that are fairly stable with time. Barring some big shift or epiphany, things tend to largely remain the same. A: Can you read the slide? Status: Needing to know how the opinions of others form our self concepts. Inquisitiveness: The questioning ones; Im sure as children they were asking why? every 4 seconds. Theyre the ones who want to understand the universe and how everything works. Affiliation: The need to associate with something larger than oneself. Its the reason that when a sports team wins, everyone is wearing their jersey the next day. On a college campus, after a big win, everyone is breaking out their colors to feel affiliated, to tie their ego to something bigger. Power: The need for control, power, influence. Youll have students who are doing a power grab. Their parents want this, but they are going to do this.

Aggression: The need to be contentious. Autonomy: One of my favorites: the need to be independent. Many young people who come to us are in the midst of their identity formation and development. Autonomy is huge for a lot of these kids, especially some of those boys who are struggling with Cs and Ds; theyre often playing this game. Their parents want this, but they want something else. Achievement: The need for recognition and acknowledgement- the ones who are trying to go for the gold ring. Gregariousness: thats the student asking the tutor out on a date, the need to belong and be social. A1: Do you get with your students and go over this list with them? And somehow they see themselves? What do you think? A1: I can see a couple of my kids on this list. I think reviewing this list would be useful in many cases. A2: This can help with other things as well. Absolutely. Especially in terms of helping them selecting a college. Theyre picking a place as part of their identity formation. Parents may want you to go for status, but is that really what you want right now? Or are you more about the affiliation? I think this list can be really interesting as an assessment and to facilitate a conversation with your student. Do you want to be the big fish in a small pond? Or do you want autonomy? Do you want to be 5 miles away from your parents or 250,000 miles away?

Motivation is tied to the students values

What currency does this student trade in? What motivational language does she speak? How might this outcome impact her values? Is the outcome relevant or important to her? Would she be here if her parents were not part of the equation?
You must adjust your approach based on the motivational profile of your student.
I use the word currency in terms of the dialogue of motivation. What currency do I have to motivate them? What language does he or she speak in terms of motivation? You have to know your student; there is no one size fits all. You must understand where they come from, their zip code, where they live, so to speak. A1: Im a little lost here, so are you saying that if I figure out a kid is really motivated by getting back at their parents, so my strategy is, hey if you do really well on this it is going to piss them off? (Audience laughs) Youre playing with their currency. It is using jiu-jitsu, taking what they offer and using it. Because everything they bring to that session with you, thats grist for the mill. It is to be used. A1: But are you serious? I mean I am dead serious. If my student is trying to get back at his parents A1: So if you like drugs then this is really going to score big for you? No, thats a different thing, we also have an obligation to do no harm and serve, protect and nurture our students. So, there is a component of re-educating in a gentle way, not a forceful way. Sometimes by understanding, validating and seeing them, youre able to get through to them; they can hear you differently. Once they feel seen by you, a major need of theirs has been met.

A1: So maybe you can help me with that, I see the kid that wants to piss their parents off. How do I turn that into a positive? Thats the part I have trouble with. Well let me ask the 70 counselors we have here today. A2: Theres an information exchange that sometimes the parents and the kids struggle over. I had a parent who was like, send me her essay, and the daughter is telling me, dont send my dad the essay. And so my job was to say, Im all about your daughter. You want me to be about your daughter, and the bottom line is, if you want to get the essay, youre going to get it through your daughter. So she held her power, I took her side, and she was very motivated. It pissed them off, but she got into her schools with a big scholarship, so she was happy. A3: Im a psychotherapist, and I prepare kids for the college transition. We get a lot of students, particularly guys, with motivation problems. Part of my work is helping them see how their behavior is really backfiring on where they want to go in life. You really want to piss off your parents, but in doing so it could have a tremendous impact on where you end up once you are out of their house and in your own life. You dont want to bite your nose to spite your face. A3: It takes a while, but its something of a re-education. Its all about their values, serving their values, and helping them realize that what theyre doing in the short term is not serving their long-term values. I tell my student, youre trying to get back at them. I acknowledge that. I get that. They have caused some serious wounds, and youre in the right here. But Im all about serving your long term goals and values, not just getting back at them. One of my teachers, Cedar Barstow, wrote a book titled the Right Use of Power. In her language, we professionals are in a one-up position with our students: we have power in the relationship. Cedar was my teacher in a year-long course in Hakomi Therapy. She taught that we must acknowledge our position of power and be respectful of it. We must skillfully, not forcefully, use that power. One of my rules is that whatever my client brings to the session, I never say no to it. I say yes. Let me integrate that information into the conversation. Its more effective then telling the client they are wrong. Let me subtly move them to a different way of conceptualizing how their behavior is impacting their long term values, to get them to question if what they are doing is really serving their long term values. An important question is, would the student be there if his parents didnt insist upon it? Whose will is being served? And can I make the shift so my student feels that his will is being served? If I can do this, suddenly my student has a new ally. Before, they might have seen me as one piece of their parents arsenal. I try to create the sense of Im with you, and if I can accomplish this, its from that place of rapport that I can influence my students and move them towards a new direction. To do this, you have to be something of a Jiu-Jitsu artist, or a chameleon. You have to be flexible and willing to shift your own style, especially if you work with a diverse body of students. One style will work for a certain kind

of client, but if you have a fairly broad clientele, you have to be flexible. You have to be ready to attend to whatever shows up at your session. A4: I also use a visual chart where you divide a bulletin board or a white board in half and make a list: ok this is what you have been doing, and these are your results. What would be another way of doing this that might get the results that you really want? Another idea would be to tell the parents to simply back off, let the kid have their own power, and trust me that Ill steer them right. Has anyone else ever had to renegotiate boundaries with parents? (Audience laughs) Constantly? A5: I start out, at the very first meeting by telling the parents that I am a student advocate, and that I represent your son or your daughter. While I am going to listen to you about geography, and dollars and other important details that you may provide , I am going to be your sons or daughters representative. And to the student in the room, I tell them, Youre the most important person in this room. It is not about your mom, it is not about your dad, it is not about me; it is entirely about you. Has anyone else had this conversation with a student? It is a powerful one. A6: Im finding, over the years, that Im often at odds with the entire family unit and the value system that governs the family. So many of these students dont have their own voice. This generation is becoming voiceless, having been helicoptered, and these students really do buy in to their parents and the value system that their family presents. When the parents want the most selective schools in the land, the student is right there with them and not willing to hear anything else. There is so much enmeshment, and the parents havent allowed individuation, which is really a blessing to their child. A6: I am seeing it more and more. Youre seeing more and more enmeshed families. Its clearly communicated, Our values are your values, and the children buy it, at least for a while. But there is an eventual cost. Things may begin to come out sideways as the children struggle within that system. At some point there will be a reckoning; or there will be a collapse. If the ego boundaries arent respected, eventually the children may just succumb or become hollow shells of themselves. A7: My experience is the collapse happens when they are in college. This happens if you havent nurtured that spirit, if youve actually crushed it and controlled it. I want my students to be resilient. I want them to find someone whom they can look to, whether it is to me or to anyone who can actually see them and hear them and validate them. You could actually be that person, and thats something; thats amazing.

My life revolves around test prep, which on the surface is this incredibly mundane thing. I would never ever have imagined 20 years ago that Id be spending my time working with standardized tests. But Ive learned that I can impact these kids on a much more profound level than merely helping them master a test. I have the ability to see them, to validate them and work with them in a quasi-therapeutic way. You also have that ability. Thats the gift we can give them besides helping them get into Rutgers or Brown. Its that connection, that empowerment, which is core to my values, and I believe is core to many of your values, as revealed by your expressions. Be mindful of the family system, because you are diagnosing it and will have to work within it. The family sits down and you see where the power is in the family; you see how the individuals constellate and who controls the conversation. But my role is to advocate for the student, as you said so well. Im here for you, and youre the most important person in the room. How rare for that kid to feel that way, to really be seen and heard and feel valued, and not in some superficial shallow kind of way, but in a meaningful, I truly see you kind of way. A8: I also tell them that I accept them for who they are, and I dont expect to change them into someone else. Im never going to be the person that says, You need to go and do this to make yourself look good for this school or that school or whatever. Im going to help you find whatever it is youre looking for or youre good at, but I am never going to tell you that you need to be someone else. Who you are is good enough for me. And thats a posture of respect and validation. In some ways youre essentially blessing them as an individual, which is so significant. To have someone really see them and tend to them is a sacred thing: to be seen and felt. Your attention is really a gift to them. A9: When Im doing what I call a meet and greet before the parent even hires me, I tell the student that mom and dad, they get you one vote, whether or not they want to work with an educational consultant, but the student gets more votes. That instantly makes them trust and feel more engaged in the process. A10: How can I get those other kids? (Laughter) A10: Its all about me, me, me: the Princess, or the Prince. And everything the student has done is so perfect. Though Harvard hasnt called yet, the student has received a letter, and is going to a reception, and, is therefore going to get in! And if I could just help them fill out the paperwork, everything is going to be good. Its me against the family. Theyre a solid block, the kid is perfect, and Im the only one who may not have drunk the Kool-Aid that morning. Again, it comes down to the right use of power. You have to hold your ground and not play into that game or join the racket they are running. A10: But how do you talk to the kid without rolling your eyes (laughter).

Part of it is helping them recalibrate their expectations. You have more information than they do, and you have more experience and a greater depth of knowledge. A11: The other thing you have going for you is objectivity. Just pull the numbers. I try to keep it as objective as possible. It is not about your individual son. These are all stellar students who are applying to these competitive schools, and I think that knowledge helps to deflect some of that defensiveness the parents feel when theyre defending their kid. A12: But how do you help the kid redeem his ego and values while things are crashing down around him. The student is thinking, Perhaps the lady is crazy, or those admission charts and graphs dont apply to me? Now everything that I have been raised to believe, that I am perfect, its gone. And Im sitting in the room, its a bad time to be here. Times up! (laughter) Theres something existential about this process for the student. Some students have never heard the word no before. They have never had to face that even if they deserve to be given a spot at this college or university, this is a stochastic universe; its probabilistic. Even when they have done every single thing right, the answer can still be, no, and thats ok! Students have to integrate that into their ego structures and not make everything so much about them. Theres a world out there thats bigger than them. This process can help them recalibrate their place in the universe. They have been the center for so long. Once in the work force or when applying to college, all of a sudden the center shifts. To play in a given system, you have to understand how the rules of the system work. You can help these students reassess how they fit. A13: One of the ways to do that is to ask them would they admit themselves and why or why not, in the frame of the admissions process. A14: I often will say, these are the schools that youre looking at. Youre the admissions panel. Would you admit you? What are the strengths, what are the weaknesses of your application? That way they see it beyond themselves. And you will have your share of narcissists. They are going to come to you; they are part of the population. Sometimes they come in families! When you come across people who are completely selfabsorbed, you may find that you are speaking a language they may not be able to hear. You still have to offer up your truth, from your experience, whether or not they can integrate that information. I dont think you play into their delusions or misperceptions, because youre not doing a service to them if you simply validate that crazy system. I would do it subtly and gently. I wouldnt cram it down their throat, but I am going to be a stand for reason whether or not they can hear it. A15: So I know why youre not supposed to say that you think they are crazy. What other way can you talk to these people without using the word crazy?

A14: I often listen and say, You have every reason to believe that Johnny is sensational, that every college that Johnny approaches would want him, but there are mirror images of Johnny. And everybody is not going to have that opportunity, so you have to prepare yourself for the alternative. This way you still validate the son or the daughter. A15: I often say that we know Johnny is wonderful, and it is clear that Johnny is wonderful. Now how are we going to communicate it? I challenge them to take the action steps: we know he is perfect, now lets get that across. The onus then shifts to the family. A16: I tell an anecdote. I was at a wedding or Bar mitzvah or something, and the couple sitting to my right had just come back from Stanford with their 11th grader. They went to the information session and the admissions counselor said that they had 1500 places in the following years admits, and they had applications from 2500 valedictorians, and then Im silent. Then the parent says, You mean if they only took valedictorians they couldnt all get in? And he said Yeah, thats right. And then the light bulb goes off. You help them recalibrate, because you have more information than they do. A17: I dont specifically work in this arena, but I wonder if you could ask, what do you really want? So you want to go to Harvard. But what is it about Harvard that you want? Once you figure out whether it is that they have a great business program or a great alumni connection center, then there are other options that meet those same criteria. A18: My students are not grappling with motivational issues about getting into Harvard. Im dealing with, did you get your essay done, or your outline? I have one student who needed to give me the final line of an essay. It was getting late, and I asked, Can you just go home right now and do it? He said, Ill have it to you by tomorrow. I said, Ok. I dont want to wake up Tuesday morning and look at my e-mail and not have it! Am I going to have to call you Tuesday afternoon? Oh, no, no, no. Well, who was I calling Tuesday afternoon?! I got it by Thursday, and it wasnt even that great of a sentence! (laughter) The point is that were trying to find his motivation, and what motivated him was to hang out with his friends. Your student is the one lacking integrity in his work, lacking integrity in that relationship with you. In cases like these, I have to redefine the relationship and reset terms with them, as I bring the language of integrity to the center of the conversation. A19: So much of it is about who is showing up on your side of the desk. Its about being in the right space yourself. Sometimes by saying fewer words, people get it. These are smart people, and they have smart kids. Let them reach their own conclusions and respect them. By being something of a sounding board and letting the conversation ride out, theyll get it. My Dad once told me that my job is simply to deliver the message, but it is not up to me or my ego whether or not the recipient accepts or embraces that message. If you know something that they dont, I believe you have a responsibility, in many cases, to share the information. It is not a case of: if they

dont believe me, then Ive failed. This has nothing to do with ego. If they are paying you for your counsel, you must speak your truth. A20: Sometimes the proof is in the pudding. You have done your best to give them realistic expectations and to be that manager of those expectations. Then they go off on their own and apply to those other schools anyway, and they dont get in. And you dont have to make it about you. A20: Absolutely not Some situations arent perfect; you do the best you can.

Motivation is half of the equation of a successful outcome

Skill

The

to succeed

Will

The

to succeed

When it comes to success in most educational endeavors, two factors are primary: Having the Skill to succeed and having the Will to succeed. When you begin to work with a student, you need to determine if the student is lacking in either of these two areas: When the issue is will, we are in the realm of motivation.

Motivation deficits cloaking skill deficits

Skill deficits: no one ever gave them the skills to succeed (who showed them strategies?) Working memory/processing speed deficits Frustrated students lose interest Lack of interest frequently reveals something else

On occasion, motivation deficits are cloaked by deficits of skill. I have worked with students who were struggling academically, nearly failing out of school. The issue with many of these students was not a lack of motivation or will; the issue was that no one had ever taught them how to effectively study or organize their time. There were certain kids whose working memories were underdeveloped and they were using memorization strategies that were very ineffective. You hear the parents who speak of their daughter staying up working or studying until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. What would take two hours with a different process takes them 6 or 7 hours. It is essential to work with these students and teach them that alternative methods exist; frequently they are not aware of this. They have no idea that the tools in their tool kit are flawed or that there are much better tools out there. This is truly a skill deficit; we may need to teach them how to take notes or help them with organization, structuring, prioritizing: all the executive functioning components. This may be a key component of the conversation: is a student slacking, or simply lacking more efficient skills and strategies. A1: This issue about lack of interest; a lot of times they get bored. They are bored in class and they need to be more challenged. Thats another reason why they lose interest. We do tend to be interested in things were good at. However, when the challenge seems too great, depending on our motivational orientation, we may lose interest. One of my friends has a 7-year-old daughter, and if she feels she is not going to be great at something instantly, shell lose interest. She wants to please; she wants to be the best. Shes certainly not alone. Whether Im working with an adolescent or a college graduate, I try to focus on the missing skill, and focus on building ability. By doing so, I can render a challenge more attainable and therefore more interesting.

Decoding your students language

_____ is stupid. Its a waste of time. Who cares?
To protect their self-esteem, students frequently place less value on tasks they feel they have the least likelihood of completing successfully. They avoid tasks they feel less efficacious about. Give them skills training/mastery experiences to heighten their sense of self- efficacy.

I hear students say, This is stupid, who cares? When I hear that, I recognize theres frequently more to the story. Many of these students are innately ambitious, and they actually care quite a bit, but they have had experiences that have pushed that ambition underground. Many of them cannot stand to risk failing or experiencing another ego wound. Out of self-protection, these students would rather play it safe and not try than take that risk. And for egos sake, they can always say, if only I had tried, I could have done it. A1: Bart Simpson: under achiever and proud of it. When I work with those students, I try to find the ember of ambition that may still be smoldering within them. I try to provide it with some oxygen and see if I can get the heat going again. Can I give them an opportunity to protect their egos while taking some measured risks. I know how challenging adolescence can be, and Im on board with helping these kids protect their self-esteem. I am always curious to determine what these students are afraid of, what outcomes scare them, what behaviors or activities they are avoiding. Generally they are avoiding activities that they do not feel very efficacious about. In my work, I lean heavily on Albert Banduras Social Cognitive Theory, and I am always looking for a way to give my students a mastery experience, no matter how small, to help them enhance their sense of self- efficacy. Start small and then build from there. A2: And then there is that very common disease called procrastination, which is really the reason for a lot of depression and anxiety. Self-handicapping is quite common.

A2: It is a major issue, it creates anxiety, depression. You have to examine procrastination on a case-by-case basis, because it operates differently for different people. Is anybody out there a high functioning procrastinator? Well, to tell a secret, I finished this presentation last night at 3:30 in the morning! Thats typically how I work (laughter). I did my senior thesis at Penn in 72 hours without sleeping. My sister, of course, completed her thesis four months before it was due. I started in earnest 3 days before it was due. Some people use the self-handicapping technique for the adrenaline. Get your adrenals squeezing, and youre juiced up and able to stay focused. Give me music, a deadline, chewing gum and caffeine, and Im off to the races. I come by it honestly, even genetically. My mom, in her journalism days, lived for the deadline and did her best work under tight time constraints, racing against the clock. Some high performing students use procrastination as a tool or technique; for other people it is clearly more of an avoidance strategy: put off, put off, put off and ultimately underperform or even fail. You need to be able to diagnose how this behavior is manifesting for your students, and whether it is adaptive for them. A3: When they go to college they have more things due at the same time. Procrastinating is not really a great way to approach academics in college. A4: Just to draw a slightly stronger connection there, with procrastination, I think what youre saying about self-protection strategies applies here. I think that is also a mechanism to protect that ego because if you procrastinate, and you dont do as well as you should have, there is always that excuse, the fact that I didnt put enough into it. Absolutely. Thats your out: if only I had done Clearly thats another way to protect the ego. A5: Another problem I face is parents who come into my office and tell me, my sons really bright; he just hasnt worked hard enough in school. If you could just find a college thats going to challenge him, he is going to wake up. (Laughter) Thats an interesting perspective, to try to wake him up by increasing the demands upon him! Frequently I see the converse, where demands increase to a point where a students learning strategies are stressed to the breaking point, and behaviors that were once adaptive become maladaptive. This can happen during the middle school to high school transition, or, as many of you know, during the high school to college transition. Take, for example, female students with undiagnosed ADHD: at a certain point in college they might find that their old strategies that were effective in high school are not working so well. They used to have an abundance of resources and so much support, but now they are alone and struggling. As they move through the stages of their education, students need to be able to adapt, compensate, recruit new resources and find more effective ways of succeeding.

What if they really dont care about the task?

Dont argue with them. Validate them. I hear you. This really is dreadful. Dont try to instill intrinsic motivation (fruitless) Explain the system and introduce the game of understanding and beating the system as efficiently as possible (save them time) Can we facilitate getting them what they want? In the short or long term? Can we peg the outcome to the service of their values?

Validated students will often work for you!

In some instances, students do not avoid a task out of fear of low performance; they genuinely have no interest in the task or topic, and this comes from a reflective, self-aware place. In these cases, I meet the students just where they are: You know, I agree, Statistics really is miserable. I know what its like to have to power through a boring class. I am not going to debate the merits of statistical analysis with them, nor am I going to tout the importance of excellence for its own sake. I remember reading that on the wall of my high school: To have the courage to strive for excellence! I dont bring that language into my conversations with students if I dont want to lose them completely. Instead I try to focus the conversation around understanding the system they are in. What is the system? What is rewarded in this system, and what is discounted in this system? What are you trying to get out of this? Can we beat this system? Can we get there as efficiently as possible and save you as much time as possible, so you can do the things that you care about? If you have to go through it, let me at least make you faster at it and more efficient at it. It might not be fun, intrinsically, but occasionally I can turn it into more of a game by setting up new goals and parameters. If you set up the challenge properly, a student may engage and approach things differently. All of a sudden we have a goal or challenge and it shifts. Can I beat this? Can I do this? It gets their mind thinking differently. A1: I use this approach a lot of the time for the SAT where I tell them, Yeah it sucks, and Im glad I dont ever have to take it again, but it is a necessary evil, and lets try to make this a game. Theyre trying to trick you here, so dont let them! I love the game angle. Thats great and can really be motivating. I have worked with students who were getting Cs and struggling across the board. With these students I tried to shift the conversation and explore how to tie success in school to their long term values. What

is it that would make them happy in the long term? Is college part of that plan? Sometimes I go for the long pass and talk about the impact of these grades on their college choices and career choices. Can we shift the focus to a longer term goal, which serves their values, even through that goal is several years out? Some students have the wherewithal to mentally hold a goal two, even three years out. For other students this is much more difficult. A2: The only warning I would add is to avoid saying something like If you dont do this.then you will ruin your life, and I am thinking of this not as a consultant but as a parent. I think we have more of a tendency to do that as parents. You dont want to go there. It is interesting that some statements when delivered by an outsider have a much greater impact than when they are delivered by a parent. Sometimes we can say things that parents cant, because we are outside of the parent-child system. Sometimes I have so much influence expressly because I am NOT the parent. A3: The wonderful thing you can talk about with High school students is that they can choose a college where they can study what they want. In high school, there are so many classes that are tedious, but are required. Theres something existential about facing up to life and realizing that some of lifes requirements do not always feel good. My dad explained to me years ago, that when it comes to choosing a career, if you like 80% of things you have to do for your job, its a good job. Sometimes we have to do the things that dont feel good, and thats okay. Thats life. Other cultures have different ways of initiating their young people into adulthood, and most of those rituals involve some hardship or privation. Adulthood is not all feel good, and these cultures are clear in communicating that truth about the adult world. There will be sacrifices, and as we move into adulthood, we must face them. A4: Though on the other side of the coin, I am seeing a lot more victimization. Im seeing My poor Johnny worked so hard. I dont know if anyone else is seeing this. The over nurturing A4: The over nurturing. Theyre the victim, victim, victim. Too much homework, too much. That may be the case, but in some cases I look at the kids I work with, and I really feel for them. In many cases, there really is too much homework, systemically. A5: I would agree. Thats the Race to Nowhere The Race to Nowhere: where many of our students may be headed. I can certainly relate to these kids. I was a workaholic in high school, and by the time I arrived at college, I was absolutely exhausted. Compared to my peer group in the early 90s, I was something of an outlier. But these days, most of the students I see are working as hard as I worked, if not harder. And I really feel for these kids: they are making real sacrifices.

One father came to me and told me, Ive lost my daughter. Shes buried under the academic demands of her school, and Ive effectively lost my relationship with her. I could see the genuine sadness in his eyes. I certainly did not want to invalidate him, nor do I want to invalidate the feelings of my students who are struggling with their academic demands. I tell these students, that from my experience, Junior year is going to be one of the hardest years of your life. It is something of a race. Youve got to prepare yourself and take care of yourself every chance you get. When you reach the finish line, thankfully, there is a breather and a pause. And I hope these kids can make it through without resorting to the destructive stress release behaviors that are becoming increasingly common in our young people. One example is cutting and self-mutilation: some of my students do that- thats really hard to see. So now its time to dive deeper into specific motivational strategies.

Self- Determination Theory (Deci and Ryan)

The key is the student utilizing his or her volition There are three primary components: the students
1. Need for Competence 2. Need for Autonomy 3. Need for Relatedness SDT Leads to Greater Psychological Health and More intrinsic Motivation

When it comes to motivational theorists, Edward Deci and Richard Ryan are two of my favorites. They believe that the key to motivation can be captured in three words: Competence, Autonomy and Relatedness: CAR. These are the things that motivate most human beings, according to the SelfDetermination Theory. It is a very respectful theory, focused on motivating from within. It leads to positive outcomes and greater psychological health for our students. This is the theory I rely upon when I work with my students. Lets unpack these three ideas.

SDT: to increase motivation

Offer individuals choice whenever possible Acknowledge your students feelings- this conveys a sense of respect for the student Provide positive feedback- verbal rewards- we have a psychological need to feel competent. Minimize the use of controlling language- must, should, ought. Help students understand how information can help them and how its meaningful. Collaborate with your students and create challenges with/for them. Competence Autonomy Relatedness

Whenever possible, give your students choices. Even the tiniest choices that seem outwardly insignificant have a measurable impact on student levels of engagement and motivation. Acknowledge your students feelings. This helps create a sense of being seen and acknowledged. Hey you dont like this? I get that. Give positive feedback and verbal rewards to help them feel competent. Often our students are not very well calibrated regarding their true abilities, and through our feedback, we help them realize their potential. Minimize must, should or ought. In some cases you have to resort to this language, but whenever possible, try other alternatives. Encourage the students to have a sense of power, agency, decision making. Finally, when you collaborate and set challenges for your students, it will engage them in a significant way. Lets look more closely at the three components of this theory.

For many students who dont seem to be motivated, we must shift our focus

If he would only try harder, hed do better.

If hed have some success, then hed do better.

This is also a quote from Richard LaVoie. You may hear people say, If he would only try harder he would do better. Richard says If hed have some success, then hed do better. That rings true in so many ways. Students who feel stifled, frustrated by their lack of success, no longer want to play the game. They check out. But if you give them a small taste of success and validate them, you can help them reclaim their sense of self-efficacy. Their self-concept will begin to shift, little by little.

Social Cognitive Theory says: give your students some success

Albert Bandura: Mastery Experiences have the most profound impact on self-efficacy beliefs. Lev Vygotsky: modeling for empowerment- I go, we go, you go. Celebrate the display of competence

Other theorists, especially Albert Bandura, focus on the incredible importance of mastery experiences in shifting students self beliefs. You can build self-efficacy through modeling- and learning from others; you can build self efficacy through verbal feedback and encouragement. Bandura found that mastery experiences are the most impactful: give someone a taste of mastery and then their perspective about their ability shifts. When it comes to modeling, I look to Lev Vygotsky. I use his notions of scaffolding. For a while I model the behavior. Then we come together and I support them. And as their competency grows, I withdraw my scaffold and let them experience mastery on their own. Youre really in there with them in the beginning; then you begin to pull back and let them stand on their own. As you withdraw and let them succeed, attend to and celebrate their new competency.

motivational scaffolding to encourage competency beliefs

I believe you can do this I believe I can do this

Ill take it over for a while, if I need to, but I always want to transfer the motivational center back to the student. Ultimately they must own it.
In the beginning, as coaches, you are the ones who have to hold the belief that your students can achieve the goals to which they aspiring. But this shifts. In time, they begin to integrate the new belief, until you dont have to do so much motivational scaffolding.

Partialize goals to create mini successes

Create Specific, Challenging and Attainable goals that set students up for success, mastery experiences. Help redefine success/progress. Lets go for a 78 by March, an 80 at mid-term, an 83 before the exam, a 90 on the exam, and an 85 for the final grade.

Set specific, challenging, attainable goals. I give my students a challenge, but I make sure they can hit the goal, resulting in a mastery experience. Otherwise, if you set the bar too high, you can reinforce feelings of failure and reinforce the limiting self-belief. Set them up for success, no matter how small. Help them redefine success. Success must be defined in context. Where are we starting from? Whats a reasonable and likely attainable goal. Can we partialize this goal and break it up into discrete steps? Say we are opening with a 78 average. We dont need to hit a 95 by the end of the semester: thats too much of a stretch. Lets define success as an 85. That would be a slam dunk. And as we move from a 78 to an 81 to an 83 and finally to an 85, I celebrate each step along the way. We can shoot for the 90 next semester.

SDT: Promote student autonomy

Choice is a powerful motivator Giving the student more control, options, choices-even small ones-empowers the student Whos idea was it to start tutoring? If the student is not on board, you must recruit their participation and commitment

Autonomy and student choice are highly motivating. Little choices, even allowing the students to determine the order of activities in our session, can help them feel that they are at the helm. Every choice you give them enhances their sense of ownership, their sense of being a partner in this process. Recruit their active involvement by offering choices all along the way.

To preserve autonomy, be wary of motivating with negative emotions:

Motivate with fear Motivate with anxiety Motivate with guilt

Tempting, sometimes effective, but use these only as a last resort. When you begin to play on the negative side of the spectrum, you alter the relationship and the tutor-student alliance

You can motivate a student using negative emotions. They have a place, but use them sparingly as there is a cost associated with their use. If youre trying to build resilience in a human being, fear, anxiety and guilt are not the most effective tools. As a last resort, Ive used all three of these. Ive certainly used guilt when my student kept dropping the ball, and I have tried to generate some anxiety when the student seemed utterly out of touch with reality. Use these motivators with caution, and only after youve exhausted your other options.

Tutoring Alliance: meeting your students where they are

It is key that a student relates to his or her tutor. Students will generally show up for and work hard for a tutor they respect, admire and like. The best alliances yield the best tutoring outcomes.

Focusing on the relationship, the alliance with your student, will often have a profound effect. Your students will show up and work hard for you if they respect you, admire you and genuinely like you. During the last hour of this talk, I have done a fair share of self-disclosure, and you may feel closer to me as a result of this. There is a place for self-disclosure in a coaching relationship. My favorite therapist is a master at artfully self-disclosing. It brings others in, recruits them emotionally, when you reveal some of your wounds. I see nods all over the place. It is a human thing. When you see Im like you and youre like me, then all of a sudden were past the power dynamic of the relationship. Im no longer one up, or the authority, but Im here on your level. It changes the conversation and deepens the connection with your student.

The Tutoring Alliance

I am your teammate. We have the same shared goal. Invest in the relationship. Build that rapport. They wont want to let you down. Try to be real with them about your own life, which creates a sense of trust. When kids are busy, you can even ask them to do things as a personal favor. Relationship with teacher more important for boys in predicting academic success. Rapport = motivational currency
Again, let the student know that she is the most important person in the room, and let her know that we are in this together. When youve built a strong rapport with the student, occasionally, you can ask her to do things for you as a favor. I know you are busy, but do this for me as a favor. Shift the language. And you may be surprised, but the quality of the relationship between the student and the teacher has a larger impact on academic outcomes for boys than for girls. Buys do better when they feel closely aligned with their teachers. Girls need this less to succeed. This research outcome was quite surprising. Know that for your male clients, achieving a sense of closeness will be very impactful and can alter the outcomes of your work together. A1: Do this for me is no different than starting with do this for your parents or whoever wanted them to do it. Do me a personal favor and study for this test. Youre right. I dont use this every time. I dont lead with this, but its one of the tricks in my bag, in my tool kit. If my student respects me, I can ask for a favor. It can be expedient, but I agree that this should not be a default strategy. A2: I just wanted to help add some credence to that. So imagine a student who is pretentious or just doesnt care, but they might value association. So you build that rapport and you start speaking in terms of we. We are going to have trouble getting there if you dont do it. Then it becomes, well, youre letting me down. The student does have a sense of interpersonal loyalty. I thought of this as a skill. All these points do is help sensitize us to these different situations. We still have to come up with creative and clever ways of responding to each situation.

A3: With students I have who are underachievers for whatever reason, I tell them at the beginning, look, every one of us in this room has something that we dont do well. As students, we dont have a choice about what we are going to take in high school. We have to find a way to get you from where you are now to the other side. As adults, we do the things we do well, and the things we dont do well, we delegate to other people. Showing them your wounds, at some level, creates a human connection with them. Show them I was really terrible at this or that. A4: I was just going to say, because I am constantly trying to bribe them to do something, I use that favor idea, but I see that as sort of the transferring from me to them. By them doing it, then the conversation shifts to, look what you did. A5: The procrastination thing is often motivated by perfectionism. They have parents who are doctors, lawyers and Indian chiefs, and brothers and sisters who are at Yale and Harvard. And they feel that they dont measure up. In terms of the alliances, I want to say that as adults, we are all in partnership: we dont do it all ourselves. These students think we are all the Marlboro man and thats how weve done our careers and everything. Its just not true; their underlying premises are false. They think they have to do everything by themselves otherwise they arent worth anything. You have to break it up and show them that everyone is in partnership in everything. A6: I was actually going to piggy back on that because what about that line between having a partnership and the fact that parts of it are their exclusive responsibility. Where do you draw that line? Responsibility ultimately does lie with the student, and you are their guide in this process. I tell the student, Ultimately, this is all about you. I have already done this. I have been through college. I am here to guide you, but you are responsible for how you approach this process. At some point we are passing the mantle of self-leadership. This is about your life and the choices you make. The investment you make now will impact where you end up. A7: Ive said to some clients and even to my children at different points, I cant care about this more than you do. Is that the wrong thing to say? Thats a perfect thing to say, and is actually standard training for therapists. If you care more than they do, eventually youre going to burn out as counselors, as therapists or in any other helping role. Ill meet you, but it has to be a meeting. Ill carry you for a short time, but then we have to have a meeting ground where we arrive at a we, and are both engaged in this process. I cant do this for you. Thats totally appropriate.

Cementing the alliance with an Us Versus Them

A teacher The system The test writers A sibling A parent Something external

This I do more frequently. I create an us/them, a we/they dynamic. We are going to beat this system or beat this teacher. We are going to show that person who said X or Y three years ago that they were wrong. The person who invalidated you, we are going to do this to show them. Well send them your acceptance letter into college. Having someone or something to rally against can be motivating and energizing.

There are 2 kinds of motivation Intrinsic

The activity is the reward

Extrinsic
The focus is on getting something external

One way to make academic work intrinsically motivating is to turn it into a game. Strip away all the external significance. You are playing a game against yourself- in this moment.

Motivation has two faces: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation: the activity is the reward in and of itself; you do it because you love it. Extrinsic motivation has an external focus. Youre doing the behavior to get something else. One way to make things more intrinsically motivating is turn the activity into a game. All of a sudden there is a sense of pleasure, a dopamine release from hitting a target or goal that takes place when youre playing a game. This generation loves games! The more games you can create for these students, the more engaged they will be.

Introduce new challenges Introduce stiffer timing constraints Up the ante

Turn the session into a game to enhance student interest and stimulate intrinsic motivation

I often turn mastering the SAT into a game. Play with it, set up new challenges, introduce new constraints beyond what the test makers established. Can we do this passage in five minutes? How about four? Do you think you are up for it? All of a sudden there is a challenge. The students are excited, and they are making predictions, setting that dopamine circuitry in action. If they think they can beat this, they will find ways to motivate themselves.

Should you use Rewards or Punishment to Motivate?

Carrots versus sticks: should you use either or both of these tools to motivate your students? Deci would say no; he would say both carrots and sticks undermine personal autonomy. LaVoie said punishing and rewarding are both ways of manipulating students. He wants to build autonomous, resilient individuals. He also says that punishment, specifically taking away the only thing a kid likes, is a bad motivational strategy. I have used carrots and sticks, on occasion. When I set up reward structures with students, I am always mindful that the only an outcome that a student believes he can achieve will be motivating. If we set the bar too high, we will not positively impact motivation levels.

Other theorists on Rewards and Punishment

If intrinsic motivation is present, when you add a reward and then remove it, you undermine intrinsic motivation (Deci) If no intrinsic motivation is present, rewards can stimulate behaviors which may engender interest/intrinsic motivation (Harvard (Roland Fryer) Study- Read Books for $1)

Through his extensive research, Deci has found that if a student possesses intrinsic motivation for a task, and you tack on an external reward to the task/activity, you actually can undermine the intrinsic motivation. Once you extinguish that external reward, the motivation level drops. One example is attaching money to grades for a student who is already doing okay on their own. Once you begin paying for grades, you have fundamentally changed the relationship between the experience and their motivation. Be careful of using the externals, especially when the student would do the task of their own volition. Alternately, when there is no intrinsic motivation and the student just doesnt care about the activity, sometimes creating a reward will increase the desired behavior. When you finally extinguish the reward the student may realize, wow this wasnt so bad after all! In one Harvard study, researchers gave kids a dollar per book they read. Many students who werent reading suddenly began to devour 4 books a week, motivated by the financial incentive. When the financial reward was extinguished, many students continued reading at a higher level than before the study took place. So when there is no intrinsic motivation, externals can be helpful

Using rewards artfully to reinforce specific behavior

The rewards I use are informational rather than contractual Positive feedback Praise/recognition Affirmation/approval
These rewards are almost universally reinforcing, but be careful of overuse- they can be detrimental to intrinsic motivation

To reward students I use informational rewards. I give my students feedback that is extremely specific, timely, and direct. This kind of positive attention and validation is a reward. Decis research has shown that informational rewards do not undermine autonomy. I use this strategy continuously with my students: all the time, reinforcing, reinforcing, reinforcing in an informational way.

Use of verbal rewards changes over time

You did a great job Ownership of student success Tutor Time Student I did a great job

Use rewards early on and gradually extinguish them, shifting the focus to the student and his/her selfappraisal. Make the student own and internalize gains. Moving away from my approval. Withdrawing the emotional scaffolds.

In the beginning I am an informational reward junky, a reinforcement machine. You did a great job, you really knocked that one out, clearly you understand this material. Over time I transfer the reinforcement to the students, and I have them claim, I did a great job. They learn to reinforce their own behaviors and internalize this language, which can alter their academic self-beliefs. Use rewards early and gradually extinguish them as the students begin to validate themselves. As they internalize their gains, I begin to withdraw my motivational/emotional scaffolds. A1: Can you just elaborate, what do you mean by informational rewarding? An informational reward is feedback, acknowledgement. You validate what they have done, you see them, you give them information about their performance, helping them to recalibrate their perceptions. Youre phenomenal at this when you do x, y and z. This feedback is motivationally reinforcing.

Reinforcing the Connection

If the end goal is going to a particular college, ask your students to visualize themselves on the green- and associate the short term activity with the long term goal. Remind them how this serves their values.
Emotion and connection motivate much more strongly than reasoning

Emotion and imagination are powerful motivators. When we are working towards getting a student into college, I will frequently have her visualize herself on the campus. I ask her to try to feel it, to sense it, to emotionally imprint upon the desired outcome. I occasionally break out some cognitive rehearsal, and I have them imagine themselves walking through the campus, on the green, with friends at the parties: whatever works for them. I often tie the SAT into this experience. You are doing this mundane task to have 4 years at this phenomenal place. I want to get their emotions and their imaginations plugged in.

We can influence our students selfefficacy beliefs. Thats our primary job!
Thousands of studies link student perceptions of how well they can do on a task with actual performance. Students beliefs about their abilities will directly impact the results and their ultimate levels of achievement. Pay attention to students self-efficacy statements.

We can do a lot to impact students self-efficacy beliefs by really paying attention to and exploring their statements about whether they believe they are innately good or bad at certain tasks. This is very important to my research for my Doctoral program.

Be honest. Be very specific. Help students recalibrate their self-appraisals

Im worthless at this Im Einstein

Students initial self-appraisal

I try to move them here

If I tell them they are here, I lose credibility or set them up for failure and/or disappointment

Be very honest and specific to when you help your students recalibrate their self-appraisal. If a student shows up and says, Im worthless, I dont want to tell them, Youre Einstein. If I give my students

inaccurate information, I either lose credibility or I am setting them up for failure and disappointment. Be very specific: teach them how to be both positive and realistic.

D. Siegel- Mindsight- the neuroscience of motivation via focused attention

Neuroplasticity: rewiring the brain Focused attention helps to rewire the neural circuitry!

Aerobic exercise and novelty also contribute to neuroplasticity/neurogenesis

Guiding a students awareness is a major part of my work with students. Dan Siegels book, Mindsight, examines how focusing ones attention can actually rewire neural pathways. Aerobic exercise and novelty can also help generate new neural connections. This is really neat stuff. Great book, and useful ideas to try with your kids!

Creating a New Neural Pathway

Reinforce new pattern 20+ times until new pathway becomes more automatic
(Increase Synaptic Strength of the new Neural Connection (Rate of Firing, Consolidation of Receptors))

An interesting research article in one of my Ed. Psych classes stated that you need to reinforce a new pattern 20 times or more it begins to become natural/more automatic. If you reinforce the pattern one time or two times, it is not yet there. Keep reinforcing it. Iterations makes things stick, rewire the brain and shape that self-belief.

Starving old Dysfunctional Neural Pathways

MATH

Boy do I stink at Math

How Many Times has this pathway been reinforced? By whom? How long before this external message became internalized?

A1: What kind of things do you reinforce? I reinforce a students belief that she is good at something or I reinforce that shes acquired a new skill or demonstrated a degree of mastery in a particular domain. Some of my students are wired in such a way that the word Math leads to thoughts of inadequacy, incompetence and failure. That neural pathway has been reinforced so many times that when the construct of Math is activated, thoughts of success are repressed and thoughts of failure become instantly activated. Love those Hebbian Networks! Math. A microsecond later: Im bad at this. How many times has this connection been reinforced and by whom: teachers, peers, themselves? Eventually the students do it to themselves, and theyre the ones reinforcing this negative self-belief, over and over again, until this idea becomes rigid and automatic. What I have to do is learn how to extinguish this connection and give them an alternative.

Ignoring Conflicting Evidence

Math Test Boy was that an easy test! or Boy did I get lucky!

Boy do I stink at Math

Stable Persistent Internal Negative Belief

Conflicting Evidence

Tendency to Externalize the good Internalize the bad

Once a pathway is in place and deeply canalized (reinforced over time), you tend to ignore other possibilities/ interpretations. The mind likes being consistent!
Often students will ignore evidence that is contrary to the belief they hold. It happens all the time. They have a stable, persistent, negative self-belief. If they get an A on a math test, they will externalize it: that was an easy test. I got lucky. Thats part of Marty Seligmans research. These students are making attributional errors, externalizing whats good and internalizing whats bad. When an idea has been reinforced and deeply cannelized over time, many of us tend ignore evidence that doesnt conform to this idea. The only way out is to focus a students attention on this conflicting information, make them integrate it, and help them establish a new neural pathway.

Insist that student actively attend to new evidence and reinforce the new neural pathway!
Math Test Reinforce

Maybe Im not so bad at Math

Starve

Boy do I stink at Math

Hebbian Network, you can alter an idea/memory while it is salient/activated, your job is to guide a students awareness and attention, again and again.

Insist that the student actively attend to the new evidence and own it and claim it. I make my students own and claim their progress and gains. I instruct my students: I want you to tell me what just happened; what specifically did you do to answer this problem correctly? What are you doing that is making you more effective and successful at this? After they get 15 answers right in sequence, I ask them, You just nailed a whole section without a single error, are you really that bad at math? Sometimes they admit, Okay, so maybe I am not so bad at math. And then one thin little neuron makes a weak link between math and success. This little connection is competing with the deeply reinforced belief, I stink at math. My job is to starve this monster, this huge, strong, resilient negative monster thats been activated hundreds of times, every time math was mentioned. Little by little you connect this new memory of success with math. I am going to reinforce this new idea about 20 times, so eventually this little neural pathway becomes heartier, more resilient and robust: Increase the firing rate across that synapse, add and consolidate the receptors, potentially thicken the external layer of myelin. Make that neural connection the default connection, and you are helping this student rewire her brain. I love this work!

The Incredible Importance of Language in the Motivation of your students

As a therapist and as an educator, I am extremely attentive to my language and that of my students.

Choose your words thoughtfully

A students language will frequently give away their motivational orientation, and give you clues how to better serve them.

Help students focus their language on going towards something:

Failure Avoidant Orientation
I dont want to end up in my parents basement

Success Approaching Orientation

I want to end up at X University

Always work towards a tangible goal

If a student has a failure avoidant orientation, you want to help shift them towards a success approach orientation; go towards an outcome. Always have them going towards something. Whatever the

student puts their attention on will grow. Attention is so important. Focus on the success, not the potential failure.

Monitoring and correcting your students self talk

Limiting self-efficacy beliefs Over-generalizations (never, always) Black and White thinking

Specificity is key! Help students recalibrate

Next we must help students correct their self-talk. When they use phrases like I never do well or I always., I try to move them away from this kind of black and white thinking. Help them get more specific. In this particular context, I Replace I always bomb my history tests with when I dont start studying until midnight the night before the test, and I havent read the chapter, I tend to do poorly on my history tests. I really challenge I am never good at this. I start to poke around to find holes in that belief: Really? Has there ever been a time in history when you have been good at X? I look for conflicting evidence and I make them attend to that evidence, and help them shift that limiting thought pattern.

Monitoring your students self talk

Watch for the Im a bad-test-taker or Im bad at math racket. Check that language at the door. Neither the parents nor the student can ever use that language again. Sometimes motivation is more about losing negative thought patterns than gaining positive ones. LD students are often less accurate about what they can and cannot do. They frequently need help recalibrating, moving past old limitations.

Have you ever had a student walk in and self-disclose: I am a bad test taker? A: Yes Weve all heard that as well as global appraisals such as I am bad at math. I insist that my students cease using that kind of language when theyre working with me. I specifically tell parents to cease that language. It is not helping. You are reinforcing that pattern, that limiting belief that has been reinforced over time. Frequently motivation is about abandoning those negative thought patterns. LD students are often less accurate about what they can and cant do, they often need help recalibrating. We can help these kids with LD recalibrate and get much more specific about their skills and limits.

Shift students from dwelling on external comparisons

Encourage comparison with oneself, rather than comparison with others Help students keep in mind their own starting point and chart their progress Keep the competition self-focused

Help students shift the comparisons from the external towards the self. Have them keep in mind where they are starting from and chart their progress.

The Language of Possibility

If you do not believe something is possible, it will rarely, if ever, come to pass. You must enroll your students in the possibility of their success, and get them to own and embrace this new potential reality you are mutually creating

The language of possibility can help a student make a shift. When a student comes with the self-belief, I am bad at math, I shift it over towards the realm of possibility. Make them own that there is a

possibility of changing this. They must be willing to embrace the possibility that they can improve in order to divorce themselves from that limiting self-belief. They must embrace this potential new reality. If they dont believe it is possible, I am up against a wall. They have to own this and claim this and say it to me out loud.

Some support from the field: keeping possibility alive

Carol Dwecks research on whether students believe intelligence is fixed or malleable: the belief that we can get smarter enhances motivation, allows risk-taking.

Continually make a stand for what is possible for your students and for the gains they could make

Carol Dweck, out of Stanford, has made huge contributions in this field. Shes been exploring the notion of fixed versus flexible intelligence; her book is called Mindset. She has found that students who believe in the flexibility of human intelligence have better academic outcomes. Neuroscience has proven that we can get smarter, the brain is plastic; neurogenesis and neuroplasticity is documented. We are learning, growing machines. I have seen this. I have personally taken students from the 38th to the 99th percentile on standardized tests. When the students left our sessions, their gains generalized into other academic domains. I believe at a profound level that we can impact the intelligence levels of our students. On a much more mundane level, theres no question that we can help them master assessments.

The Language of Probability

There is some randomness built into the system, and factors beyond my control: Give them ranges, probabilities On a good day, I expect __________ On a rough day, I expect __________ When the stars align, I expect _________ The reasonable range is ____ to ____ Do everything in your power to move to the high end of the range.

When preparing students for academic outcomes, I speak the language of probability, I give them ranges. On a good day youll hit this. On a great day youll hit this. I help them redefine success. There is never one score that would connote success; there is a range. This also applies when helping students calibrate their likelihood of admission to a particular school. Give them a range, be specific, help them calibrate based on your experience and expertise.

The Language of Commitment

If I commit to _____ Will you commit to ____? This is a commitment. Now its about integrity. Raise the stakes with your students.

I use this all the time, the language of commitment. When that student (pointing to audience member) promised you that line for his essay, and you did not believe he was being sincere, I would have stopped the session. I turn to him, look him in the eye and ask him directly, Are you committing to doing this for me? You up the ante. Certain words have more power and put more at stake. Suddenly, this student has put himself on the line. We are moving from Sure Ill do it by Tuesday to I am committing to you that Ill have this finished by noon Thursday. Most students have some sense of personal integrity and respect for their word. Its like a double dog dare; it raises the bar. Invoking the language of commitment can impact the motivation of your students. Raise the stakes, especially if theyve failed to deliver before. So you are committing to this, I have your word. Okay. Tuesday at noon- we have an agreement. This can be powerful for many students.

The Language of Attribution/Control

Focus on internal factors rather than external factors Constantly tie behaviors to performance outcomes, rather than writing things off to externals (e.g. it was a really hard test). Focus on controllable factors such as effort over innate skill, luck, a hard test.

This is tied to Marty Seligmans research on attribution. I push my students to focus on what is in their control: the internal, rather than the external factors. I always reinforce how the students behaviors impact performance outcomes. Dont let them dwell on the external: It was a really hard test or I just got lucky. I tell my students, You did that; you claim that. I want you to own that your behaviors led to that outcome. So when they own this, they begin to realize that they have agency. They can actually impact outcomes rather than being subject to the whims of the universe.

Direct your students attention to their gains and victories.

Students must own their successes and celebrate them. I insist that my students claim their successes if they are reluctant to do so. If students do not attend to this new information, and actively reinforce it, it may not encode deeply in memory. Reinforce this new neural trace or risk losing it.

Again, direct your students to attend to and claim their gains.

Students dont live in a vacuum: Their motivation can be affected by

Family External Constraints Gender Roles And more

Attend to external factors that may be impacting student motivation: family of origin, gender roles, things of that nature. You may have heard that girls are not as skilled at math; this belief takes root in middle school . Boys and girls have fairly even self-beliefs, then the girls begin to fall back.

You will get reinforcement, positive or negative, from your family

Shes so smart!!, Shes our little doctor in training! Hes just like his Dad, not the worlds best testtaker

Be mindful of parents comments. Parents can have a tremendous impact on student performance.

Optimizing parental involvement

Plugging parents in (vocab help, HW check) Pulling parents out (parents are source of excessive stress- renegotiate boundaries and expectations)

We all have to help redefine boundaries with parents: getting them more involved or getting them to back off a little bit to help you. This can play a huge role in student success.

Motivation: whats going on with the boys?

The gender differences in academic motivation and performance are striking Females outperforming males at nearly every level of academia (GPA, graduation rates) Many young men not as mature/self-regulated Many boys poorly calibrated vis--vis their levels of ability (over-estimating ability, while girls underestimate ability) Girls have more academic anxiety, boys more deficits in academic motivation

In terms of gender differences, boys tend to over-estimate their abilities and the girls under-estimate their abilities. Girls tend to have more anxiety; however, they outperform boys from elementary school through graduate school. Girls do better at school.

Motivation: whats going on with the boys?

Females display more self-regulated learning strategies (e.g. goal setting, planning, self-monitoring) Both genders associate academic success through studying, planning and effort as more of a female trait and attaining achievement without ostensible effort or planning as a male trait (Ablard and Lipschutz) Be mindful of these gender scripts

There is a body of research revealing that students of both genders associate success through studying and planning as a female trait, and success through no planning as a male trait. We have these notions,

these gender roles we play into. Be mindful of the gender scripts. Ultimately females are better in school, and it is often the males who need help with executive functioning. Their brains become fully developed a little later than girls brains. Over time everyone catches up. By 25 we are cognitively on line, and then by 33 or so, our emotional regulation is fully on-line, and we can emotionally selfregulate. But it does take some time to get fully cooked as a human being.

Takeaways: things for you to try with your students

Watch your language: possibility, probability, specificity, commitment Watch their language: correct self-limiting beliefs Focus on autonomy and choice Understand the motivational language your students speak Build rapport; put the relationship before all else Create Mastery experiences, micro successes Intentionally build your students self-efficacy beliefs

The key takeaways: Watch your language, encourage autonomy and choice, build rapport, create mastery experiences, and really focus on student self-beliefs.

Discussion

Additional Resources: Appletutors.com/blog/JedSaid

And finally, I have more things I have written about this on www.AppleTutors.com under Jed Said. Im Jed. Thanks all for coming!