1 Running head: REFLECTIONS ON HOLISTIC NURSING

Reflections on Holistic Nursing: An Emotional Journey

Reflections on Holistic Nursing: An Emotional Journey Reflecting on the past can be frightening at times, but its also very enlightening. I can vividly remember the first time that I read some of my journals from high school as a grown-up

2 REFLECTIONS ON HOLISTIC NURSING looking back in time. Wow! I didnt know I could feel such strong emotions about things that I would consider quite trivial at this stage in life. I believe that this example shows that growth is a necessary and positive mark in life. For some, growth may happen at a slower rate and to a lesser magnitude, but there is always growth. As I look back through my journals from this semester, I find it fascinating to see the ranges of emotions expressed, subjects addressed, questions asked, and dedication to the journaling process. This past weekend has been a great lead into my growth in self-care activities, and learning to make it a priority and not a luxury to take some time for myself. Between my boys there were 9 games to be attended to over the weekend. Even writing it out seems daunting and scary, but now it just seems more of a lets see what we have to do next. By coordinating with friends and family I was able to take the trip from the last football game of the season alone. Its not often that I can say that! This was a 30 minute ride in which I purposely turned off the radio, put the phone on vibrate, and enjoyed the ride. I was able to take in the scenes of farms that have weathered many storms, as well as newer homes with the glitzy appearance that have yet to see hard days. I studied the variations in color from tree to tree as they are preparing to hibernate, and other colors of vegetation and foliage that seem to be saying goodnight for eternity. I was able to enjoy the clouds and play the what shape is that game. And lastly, I indulged my new love: sunsets. Sunsets have always been a joy for me to watch. Over the last months I have found myself gazing into sunsets and memorizing the different features of this sight that will never be seen again. It is so magnificent for me to behold the beauty of the sun going down, meeting with

3 REFLECTIONS ON HOLISTIC NURSING the horizon with clouds dancing about. It is amazing that this chorus of elements can create such a magnificent explosion, everyday! Of course this journey into self-reflection wasnt happenstance; it was a divine intersection of purpose and accident! Purposefully, I chose to take this holistic nursing course as a chance to review, learn, and see if holistic nursing is really the path I want to take. This course, and its objective for me to embrace self-care activities as a right and not a luxury, was perplexing to me at first, because as a mother of three, I have long been accustomed to putting myself after others. I have learned through this course that putting others first is a core part of my personality. In the beginning of this process I took a survey that was presented in the AHNA Standard of Holistic Nursing Practice. This survey was aimed at helping the reader learn where their true strengths and weaknesses are in areas in the holistic nursing core values ie: spiritual, holistic philosophy, research, education, and more (Frisch, N.C., Dossey, B.M., Guzzetta, C.E., & Quinn, J.A., 2000). The goal of this core value audit is to help the reader/practitioner assess where they feel there are on the continuum of growth in relation to the core values set for the practice of holistic nursing. Next, it gives you the opportunity to reevaluate yourself at various benchmark times so that you can visibly see areas of growth and those that may need more attention. Honestly I first went about this survey much like a cheesy magazine ad that is supposed to sum your lifes talents and abilities and ten questions. However, after about two areas of practice definitions I realize that this quiz was different. The answers werent all As or Bs specific, so I couldnt manipulate my answers. I had to be HONEST! Printed honesty has a way of stinging a bit more than the honesty you present to yourself in thought. My area of strengths and weaknesses were a surprise to me.

4 REFLECTIONS ON HOLISTIC NURSING Growing up I have always been a caretaker. I have cared for sisters, cousins, other peoples children and more. This is a comfortable role and job that I do because that is who I am in DNA, in fabric, in flesh: I am a caretaker. This is one of the reasons that I chose to become a nurse. Completing this survey for the first time I was forced to realize how much I had played down the value and the core root of self-care and its importance. I am very proud to report that through this class I have not only grown in my acceptance of self-care as more than lip-service, I have definitely made it a must in my life. The beginning of holistic nursing and history of its origins, in terms of a title, has been a long time coming. As a society we have learned to love titles and quick answers. I believe that nursing in its honest essence, without the frills and extended titles that have been developed, is a holistic art. The true essence of holism represents a universal view in which facts and value become inseparable and in which subject and object become aspects of the same process (Dossey, B.M., Keegan, L., Guzzetta, C.E., & Kolkmeier, L.G. ,1988). In short, the goal is to have the caregiver and the receiver truly on one accord. As I have researched and learned more about the emerging recognized field of holistic nursing, I have become more deeply convinced that this should be a core component of all cares. Having stated the above, I will share that originally my area of focus was my spiritual connection. The core values of holistic nursing 3.1.4 basically states that the holistic nurse consciously aims to understand deeper meaning and connections with not only self, but others and God (Frisch et al, 2000). This is an area of my life that has been deeply fragmented. In reading all of the values and standards of practice, this nugget was the jewel of my success.

5 REFLECTIONS ON HOLISTIC NURSING My spirituality and sense of connection to God has been and will continue to be my internal compass. Admittedly, before this course and some serious reevaluation of my stance in life I have been operating on an auto-pilot basis. I cant say that I truly took the time to connect and digest where I was spiritually. Luckily, my auto-pilot stance has had a great foundation to grow on and knew how to survive. This relinking with my spiritual self and growth has been, no pun intended, a God-send in a literal since. Since I have dived back into reading the Bible and freeing myself from a conventional Bible study I can see, feel, and hear my growth! I am very thankful for this junction. To be successful as a holistic nurse, one has to really be in touch with their own inner strengths and weaknesses. It is also important to be empowered to use the spiritual strength that is in everyone. Being able to connect spiritually with others can be emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining if a nurse isnt grounded and continually spending self-care time to invigorate the mind, body, and soul. Prayer or intentional thought has been shown to be medically beneficial. Studies have shown that people when prayed for can show improvement. Even organisms growing in a petri dish can be affected by these prayers (Science Daily, 2009). The scientific method on exactly how this works has not been tapped into; however, I truly feel that there are some areas on our life where the black and white descriptors will never suffice (Dabrowski, 1995). This is a great place to share a small piece of my testimony and relationship with the Lord. As a family we grew up learning and hearing about the presence of the Lord. We were given the tools (bible verses) to back up the foundation that was being laid. Unknowingly, I was being prepped for later years. I have always felt that my connection with my Lord is personal and close if I let it be. For many years, because of sheer stubbornness, life stages, and politics

6 REFLECTIONS ON HOLISTIC NURSING within the organized church institution, I have pushed this closeness far away from my heart. I went forward, operating on what I thought was my own merit. However, looking back, I have come to see that my journey has been exactly like the popular Footprints poem. Even when I thought I was alone I wasnt: the Lord was carrying me. I am so thankful!!! (APPENDIX???) (Stevenson, 2008) I have placed a large amount of emphasis on the spiritual aspect of my self-growth because for me I found it to be an area of junction and in order to continue on more solidly I had to begin to put this area in perspective with a plan to repair it. Though this has been a large area, it is not the only area in which I have seen growth. Another area that I have developed surprisingly for myself was how I felt about research and education in holistic nursing. I almost viewed the area of nursing as full of intangibles that were to remain just that. However, on reevaluation of the subject, the reason that I hadnt placed much weight on this area in comparison to some of the other core values is that I never equated it mentally with overall professional advancement in the Holisitc Nursing arena. The area of holistic nursing is predicted to grow in the future research, and studies are imperative to keep the scientific honor insignia in its reach (Rosenbaum, 2007). Since the art of nursing can carry a large amount of qualitative elements it can be hard to tap into this phenomenon and package it into a evidence-based practice, but the continued studying, educating, and incorporation of the nurses and their explicit roles in the care of patients will help propel the area of research and care synonymously (Dorn, 2005). There have been multiple examples in history of how a nurses research or observations have led to changes. Nightingales journaling and keen observations of tuberculosis sufferers and how light and fresh air was their ticket to better health commanded changes that became

7 REFLECTIONS ON HOLISTIC NURSING collective knowledge standards (McDonald, 2010). Another recent and example is recent implementations of nurse educators as a vital part of the medical team and a patients positive outcomes using social networking as a tool to help connect the community of needed care. (Sharoff, 2010) This class has been a surprising twist of fate for my own self. As I went in to this class ready to learn and focus on holistic nursing in a traditional class lecture setting, I was amazed at how much self-reflection, inward searching, and identity-directed learning I was able to complete and feel very in touch with. This has been a refreshing stop in my journey in the Masters program. Being a distance student, there is a perception at times of solitude on my journey to my Masters degree. Being unable to walk into a Professors office and discuss my path, struggles, and goals has at many times left me feeling as if I am on the wrong road. Having the chance to review myself and my evolutionary process has given me many smiles, and also some tears. I have shed tears because nothing ever seems to go as planned, and sometimes it seems as if my trail is too rocky to reach my destination. I know that I cry because of my passion for the career that I have chosen, the life path that I have chosen. I am deeply committed to my work, and I can smile through the tears, knowing that as a nurse with ingrained holistic nursing values, I will make it! I will be all right! I can do it! My strength and my faith will bring me through with flying colors. Because as writer Washington Irving put it: There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming griefand unspeakable love (as cited in goodreads, 2010).

8 REFLECTIONS ON HOLISTIC NURSING Nursing has been around since nearly the beginning of time through the care that human beings give each other. Through its incessant drive to grow and become more than just a title or a given order, nursing will continue its relentless struggle to improvement. The profession of nursing is like the beauty of a fresh crisp fall sunset. The beautiful visions may be fleeting, but they are constant. Their presence may vary from day to day, but they are still present! Their glory may be undermined and overlooked in their sheer spectacular offerings, they are still perpetual. To me this is parallel to the profession of nursing, because the love and spirituality of the profession will always cast a glorious glow, on even the darkest day. I am thankful for this class and the connection with a new love. I am thankful for the chance to reconnect with myself and put myself into the drivers seat once again. I am thankful for the chance to unite once again with my Lord. This course has allowed me to once again be in tune with not only my intuition, but also my inspiration.

9 REFLECTIONS ON HOLISTIC NURSING References Boschma, Geertje (1994). The meaning of holism in nursing: historical shifts in holistic nursing ideas. Public Health Nursing, 11, 324-330. doi: 10.1111/j.1525-1446.1994.tb00194.x Dabrowski, I. (1995). David Bohms theory of the implicate order: implications for holistic thought processes. Issues in Integrative Studies,13, 1-23. Dorn, K. (2004). Caring-healing inquiry for holistic nursing practice: Model for research and evidence-based practice. Retrieved from http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/496363 Dossey, B.M., Keegan, L., Guzzetta, C.E., & Kolkmeier, L.G. (1988). Holistic nursing: A handbook for practice. Rockville, MD: Aspen Publishers, Inc. Frisch, N.C., Dossey, B.M., Guzzetta, C.E., & Quinn, J.A. (2000). AHNA standards of holistic nursing practice: Guidelines for caring and healing. Gaithersburg, MD: Aspen Publishers, Inc. goodreads (2010). Washington Irving Quotes. Retrieved from http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/28525.Washington_Irving McDonald, L. (2010). Florence Nightengale: Passionate statistician. Journal of Holistic Nursing, 28 (1), 92-98. Rosembaum, C.C. (2007). The history of complementary and alternative medicine in the US. The Annals of Pharmacotherapy, 41. doi: 10.1345/aph.1k224 Science Daily (2009). The Healing Power of Prayer. Retrieved from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090617154401.htm Sharoff, Leighsa Social Networking, Holistic Nursing, and Self-care. Holisitc Nursing Practice Sept/Oct 2010 Vol 24 Issue 5 pp 301-302 doi: 10.1097/HNP.0b013e3181f1ae35

10 REFLECTIONS ON HOLISTIC NURSING Stevenson, Mary (2008) Footpints in the sand. Retrieved from http://www.footprints-inthesand.com/index.php?page=Poem/Poem.php

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints. So I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?" The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you." Mary Stevenson retrieved from