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The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is constantly withheld from many of their desires by physical restrictions. We use baby gates, fences, locks on doorways and cabinets (restricted places ), cribs, playpens, leashes, as well as brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the actual young child; monitoring what he or she sees, where he goes, and with whom he associates. These barriers are mainly for the purpose of protecting the child from himself - from his own desire to seek his own will prior to an age whenever he has knowledge, self-discipline, anxiety when the Lord, or help from the Holy Spirit to avoid that which is harmful to him. The School-Age Child continues to be in bondage under the aspects of the world. Gal. 4:three Foolishness is bound down the middle of a child. Prov. Twenty two :15a Having foolishness in the heart, he is likely to act the part of a fool - a fool hath no enjoy understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he or she constantly desires to venture into the actual "department store" of the flesh. NOthing is more dangerous than permitting a child to "discover themself " at this age. The coronary heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jer. 17 :9 Being at the beginning of their "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless from controlling his own desires; and the fleshly nature is regarded as a fascinating friend rather than seen to contain no great thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must safeguard him from his own most detrimental enemy - his flesh, and two other predatory enemies -- the world and the devil. Childhood is the time to train your child in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As parents, you must become an external boundary that restricts the fleshly nature of the kid until the time that he has established inner boundaries and has inner help from the Lord. The outside obstacles must remain well past the crib-stage; the obstacles now becoming more directed at the speech and actions (which arise from the thoughts). Growing up gets older, curiosity about the external world and his body's wishes increases, and the pull of the inner fleshly nature gets to be more demanding. There is every indication in the Bible which God expects total psychological (2 Cor. 10:5 ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the kind of discipline that leads one to present his body as a living sacrifice (Rom. 12:one ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as do Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting offers some advantages, although in several Christian schools the drawbacks (peer influence, poor discipline, poor spiritual environment, etc.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are the ones that greatly help to construct mental and physical self-discipline, and should be seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in a college is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to deliver books, homework, long-term projects, etc. To school complete as well as on time. 2. The hold off of the physical gratification/needs associated with walking about, bathroom break, water, etc. 3. The actual delay of the physical gratification of eating (only at lunch). 4. The denial of the desire to speak so as to concentrate on work.

5. The denial of the desire to talk so as to help others function. 6. The delay of the desire to speak to cooperate during group work. 7. Assignments totally dictated by the teacher. 8. The denial of comfort to one's body (sitting upright on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (vs. Clutter, toys available, and so on.). 10. A day scheduled in to definite, fixed time slots with limited time in between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech and behavior, should, by the adolescent years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] unto Christ (Gal. 3:24 ); not only in the sense associated with Salvation secured, but coming to Jesus Christ for help with self-discipline. Correction from their parents has, by this time, trained him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ in order to save him from eternal death in Hell. Prov. 23 :13,14 Later within the teenage years, he has realized that outward control (nevertheless some barriers and self-discipline, but much more guidance) coupled with his own emerging self-discipline nevertheless fails to keep his flesh under control. He must eventually notice that by himself he cannot "hang on" and do right - especially in regard to emotions and sexual wishes. He is coming to the understanding of for I know that within me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good i find not. Romans seven :18 Trust in his parents to help "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and actions must now be directed toward one who is able to help from within his heart. If, having accomplished this during the teenage years, he can now say i will do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. Psalms 61:three The LORD is my personal strength and my shield ; my heart trusted within him, and I am assisted : therefore my heart significantly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he as soon as trusted in his parents, a teenager should now place their trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am along with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yes,I will uphold thee with the right hand of my personal righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not unto [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a parent, you are his guide, their protector (from the world, his flesh, and the devil), and the external barrier to that that he desires to do that would develop poor habits and, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a child generally lives for today as a slave to his flesh. Parents must constantly be alert for possibilities to direct the mind toward a structured, Biblically-based, inner control of ideas, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from a knowledge of sin. I would have you wise unto that which is nice, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your child from excessive thoughts about or interest in the things of this world. And truly, if they have been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all persistance ; for out of it are the

issues of life. Prov. 4 :23 "Keeping" a kid's heart is the parents' obligation ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized ideas when they reflect desires of the flesh. For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Prov. 23 :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application associated with self-discipline. Deut. 6:six,7 Is. 30:twenty,21 5. Point out good examples leading to success and failure - from the bible and from life. Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, on whom the ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 kings 1:5,6 idol judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - considering, reasoning; and memorization associated with verses, facts from subjects, poems, songs, etc. Your son or daughter's education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in education has its place, but persistent work should be the main exercise. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good training, by necessity, will involve conflict with the fleshly nature of the child. 2. Train your son or daughter to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time training him to be cautious about choosing people to follow (strangers, and so on.). Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, looking for whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant mindset in all things. Work as diligently on attitude as you perform on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the actual presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent barriers to unwanted actions. Demand desired actions when informed the first time! It is poor training to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed behavior training (calling several times, counting to 10, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repetitive infractions and encouragement for achievement (without inflating self-esteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate in the Biblical basis for bodily self-discipline and teach the practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is actually short, and the days are evil! Ep. 5 :16 You have a brief opportunity (which is sharply reduced at the arrival of the teenage many years ) to instill the psychological "operating system" that will guide your son or daughter for a lifetime. There is no time to "enjoy " the antics of a child with little self-discipline. Should you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," you and he will pay a expensive price - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a young child is not an adult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but childhood is the time to train the future grownup. View all training because preparation for future support for the Lord. Train a young child to become a useful servant of the Lord- strong in faith and in

character! This is the parents' responsibility, and is not to be assigned to the church or a religious school. Homeschool parents have a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or even perceived inability, are ignoring character building while focusing on child-centered academics. It is going to be difficult to place a hurdle around your child's fleshly nature. Each child will be different; some will put up more of a "battle " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do tend to be, perhaps, being prepared for any more difficult life of service for that Lord. Do not fail these children in their preparation by using excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be set by the "trainers." While you might need to let down your guard as well as indulge in poor character, remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me personally, even as I also am associated with Christ. 1 Cor. Eleven :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition of teaching and consistency in modification and discipline. Train upward a child in the way he is going : and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the actual rewards of careful attendance to character building are great ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 you'll be able to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build a good inner restraint against the desires of the flesh - by giving consistent outer restraints and expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the actual Lord (which greatly stands for inner restraint); and to teach to obey as viewing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me : I will teach you the fear from the LORD. Ps. 34:11 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for power and direction (recognizing that help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not really unto thine own understanding . Prov. 3:5 o LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself : it is not in man that walketh to direct their steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To be accountable for the use of time. 1 Peter 4:2 2. To learn to wait to speak. James one :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. 1 Thes. 2:4 4. To understand to weigh thoughts very carefully before speaking. Ps. Thirty four :13 Prov. 13:three ; 21:23 5. To be able to perform unpleasant tasks without distress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure difficult trials. James 1:2,3 8. To learn to perform uncomfortable habits.

9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :27 10. To keep thyself pure. 1 Tim. 2:twenty two Phil 4:8 11. To maintain rule over his own spirit (emotions). Prov. 25:28 12. To complete a project from inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To refuse the lust of the skin (unavailable/wrong material or bodily desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to become content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to work with no expectation of immediate reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to another rather than to seek one's own will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set prior to him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To rely upon the LORD with all thine heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To refuse feelings and choose to do what's right. 1 Kings eighteen :21 20. To give up a freedom so as not to offend another person. One Cor.8:13 21. To develop mental discipline (Disciplined thoughts Disciplined body). 2 Cor. 10:5 22. To keep in work despite individual physical rebellion. Lam. 3 :27 23. To be a servant instead of a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's individual name and family name (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and discipline with a good attitude. Prov. Three :11; 15:10 27. To cooperate with the needs associated with others - to concede his needs for the benefit of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly value system that directs daily decisions. Gen. 24:33 Col. 3:2 29. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. One Peter 2:18 30. To build up a mental alertness. One Peter 5:8 31. In order to refuse negative peer pressure. Ex. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, full of Israel; To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding; to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young man understanding and discretion. Prov. One :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not go away from it. Prov. 22 :6 Because sentence towards an evil work is not really executed speedily, therefore the coronary heart of the sons of men is actually fully set in them to perform evil. Ec. 8:eleven Withhold not correction in the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to place you always in remembrance of those things, though ye understand them, and be established in the present truth. Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you upward by putting you in remembrance. 2 Peter one :12,13 Implementing Goals For each goal that you desire to be satisfied in your child, make a specific, long-range plan to see your objective accomplished. Follow the design of:

EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING. SAMPLE: Goal #1: self discipline is needed to be accountable for using time. Example: Be conscious of time in your own life. Show a concern for your own use of period. Be on time to church, appointments, class, etc. Don't waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to become done without stopping to experience or to talk to others. Anticipate schoolwork to be done with out wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, and so on.) As your children get older (old enough to easily tell the time as well as own a watch), expect these phones be ready for church on time (without having to be told), get up on time (by using an alarm clock), plan ahead to be ready for a specific bedtime, set the actual table prior to an appointed time, be in from outside play at a certain time, and so on. Teach your child the value of time - how to use it sensibly, how to plan ahead, and how to work to meet deadlines and agendas (long and short-range). Have him memorize verses having to do with period, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, disloyality, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen ) Training: Discipline in some way when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, ignored, or forgotten. Let your child know that excuses such as "we forgot" will not be accepted! discipline for wasted time whenever he is expected to be working (set time aside from free/recess time, etc.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical self-discipline, when necessary. He which spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the fishing rod of correction shall generate it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn benefit due to a failure in the responsibility to do that which was taught. When self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouragedbecause the pleasures of sin were permitted without any unpleasant consequences. In the event that unpleasant consequences are not arranged by parents now, the actual unpleasant consequences will come when the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not instantly discovered by a parent). Attributed to God, we would also make reference to this as "learning hard way-by experience." Being confident of this very thing, that he that hath begun a good are employed in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. 2 :13 Jeremiah 29