Falling in Love Only Takes About a Fifth of a Second, Research Reveals ScienceDaily (Oct.

25, 2010) A new meta-analysis study conducted by Syracuse University Professor Stephanie Ortigue reveals falling in love can elicit not only the same euphoric feeling as using cocaine, but also affects intellectual areas of the brain. Researchers also found falling in love only takes about a fifth of a second.
Results from Ortigue's team revealed when a person falls in love, 12 areas of the brain work in tandem to release euphoria-inducing chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and vasopression. The love feeling also affects sophisticated cognitive functions, such as mental representation, metaphors and body image. The findings raise the question: "Does the heart fall in love, or the brain?" "That's a tricky question always," says Ortigue. "I would say the brain, but the heart is also related because the complex concept of love is formed by both bottom-up and top-down processes from the brain to the heart and vice versa. For instance, activation in some parts of the brain can generate stimulations to the heart, butterflies in the stomach. Some symptoms we sometimes feel as a manifestation of the heart may sometimes be coming from the brain." Ortigue is an assistant professor of psychology and an adjunct assistant professor of neurology, both in The College of Arts and Sciences at Syracuse University. Other researchers also found blood levels of nerve growth factor, or NGF, also increased. Those levels were significantly higher in couples who had just fallen in love. This molecule involved plays an important role in the social chemistry of humans, or the phenomenon 'love at first sight.' "These results confirm love has a scientific basis," says Ortigue. The findings have major implications for neuroscience and mental health research because when love doesn't work out, it can be a significant cause of emotional stress and depression. "It's another probe into the brain and into the mind of a patient," says Ortigue. "By understanding why they fall in love and why they are so heartbroken, they can use new therapies." By identifying the parts of the brain stimulated by love, doctors and therapists can better understand the pains of love-sick patients. The study also shows different parts of the brain fall for love. For example, unconditional love, such as that between a mother and a child, is sparked by the common and different brain areas, including the middle of the brain. Passionate love is sparked by the reward part of the brain, and also associative cognitive brain areas that have higher-order cognitive functions, such as body image. Ortigue and her team worked with a team from West Virginia University and a university hospital in Switzerland. The results of the study are published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Ortigue worked on the love study with colleagues Francesco Bianchi-Demicheli (Geneva University Psychiatric Center, Switzerland), James Lewis (West Virginia University), Nisa Patel (graduate student in SU's College of Arts and Sciences) and Chris Frum (West Virginia University). Ortigue's follow-up study about the speed of love in the human brain is expected to be released soon.

Source: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/10/101022184957.htm

The Amazing Power Of Love - research indicates that women can bring better health to the men with whom they have a relationship Brief Article
by Walter Leavy

We have known it all along, whether we admit it or not. We know that women have a special effect on us, but what we probably didn't know is the extent of that effect--one that researchers are now calling a life-enhancing and possibly life-extending effect. It's difficult for any Brother not to recognize the power of a woman. Time and time again, we have seen how she impacts the life of her man and other men she comes in contact with. We know her strengths, her unparalleled resilience, her indominable spirit, her uncanny ability to do so many things at once--and do them well! While recognizing and appreciating all of that, now comes news that sheds new and dramatic light on a Sister's importance in a Brother's life, and if nothing else, it should make a Brother think about how he treats her, how he views her, how he appreciates her, and how he loves and respects the woman who is a positive, motivating force in his life. According to a new study by sociologists at the University of Chicago, the presence of a woman in the household significantly contributes to better health for men. How significant, you might ask? As an example, the research indicates that if a wife works full-time, her husband's chances of being in good health plummet by more than 25 percent. This is not to imply or suggest in any way that women should give up their individuality or their hopes and dreams to totally devote themselves to the care of the man in their life. The research simply points out that the time she's not around for him to lean on can have a tremendous effect on his well-being. Traditionally, women are trained to take care of themselves and others. Men are trained to tough it out, trying to convince everyone that they're Superman strong. But in reality, that big "S" isn't always on a Brother's chest when he's at home. We all know that there are many men who can't function properly without the help of a woman. For instance, when it comes to his health, many times she has to remind him to take his medication, encourage him to see a doctor about that nagging pain that won't go away and, in essence, she has to facilitate behavior that reduces his stress and promotes better health. It is fitting during the month in which we observe Valentine's Day that a new and important focus has been placed on women, and more specifically, the benefits that men experience because of the amazing power of love. (But keep in mind that this is not a one-sided thing; conversely, a Brother's love for his woman yields a number of benefits to enhance her life as well.) What the University of Chicago study' does, perhaps more than anything else, is to strongly support earlier findings that married men actually live longer, fuller lives than their bachelor counterparts--primarily, researchers say, because of the love and continuous support system that a wife can provide. Some single Brothers don't want to hear that and will dispute that, believing that they can get the same sense and degree of support from female companions even if they don't exchange wedding vows. But despite their convictions, the numbers indicate that marriage--a healthy, satisfying marriage--does add years to a man's life. There are exceptions to the case, but whatever the dispute, the common denominator is the power of love, and how it affects a Brother's life. There are all kinds of stories and examples that illustrate how a woman's love and devotion can dramatically change, even save, the life of a Brother who might have a tendency to participate in some things that can be self-defeating and self-destructive. Quite frankly, there's nothing quite like the amazing power of love. It's what Smokey Robinson and Ronald White wrote about and the Temptations sang about in one of 5 the great (if not the greatest) love songs of all time, "My Girl." When you have sunshine on a cloudy day, that's the power of love! When it's cold outside, and you've got the month of May, that's the power of

love! When you tell the woman in your life, or anybody else who will listen, that you don't need money, fortune or fame because you have all the riches (the relationship with her) one man can claim, that's the power of love! It has long been said that "you're nobody 'til somebody loves you," and by the time that we become teenagers, it's likely that all of us have experienced at least some degree of the power of love. We find out early that it will make you do things that you wouldn't normally do. We realize that it will make you say things that you wouldn't normally say. And we know that it will make you feel things that you wouldn't normally feel. When it comes to matters of the heart, there is so much that defies explanation and understanding. But if you're fortunate enough to find love, then you have to nurture that love, shape love, respect love and give love, and in the end you can enjoy the benefits of love. So during this month when we set aside a day for lovers, one Brother after another should take this opportunity to reassess the relationship with the woman in his life and place new focus on who she is and what she means to him. It's a reassessment that should--no, must!--be addressed immediately, especially when you consider that--to a degree--in her hands is not only the quality of a Brother's life, but perhaps the length of it as well.

Source: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_4_56/ai_69653976/pg_2/?tag=mantle_skin;content

Long Lasting Love Relationships

By Terje Ellingsen Dating and establishing love relationships can be compared to choosing a vehicle. You pick out the make, model, year, color and features that you believe are best for you. After driving your vehicle for a couple of months, you realize that perhaps you should have purchased a larger car, or that maybe the leather seats would have been better, or on hot sunny days, the sunroof would have been nice. However, it is now too late so you choose to keep your car and accept the decision you made. It is the same for a marriage or couple relationship. Not everything will be perfect and there will be major obstacles to overcome but you have made your decision and now you choose to make it work no matter which marriage troubles you are experiencing. Dating and marriage is different than it was thirty years ago. Today, more than 50% of all marriages fail for one reason or another. Just thinking about that makes "commitments" and marriage vows seem scary. It seems that when relationships are faced with challenges, people quit trying. Dating is more like a marathon, trying to date as many people as possible, instead of taking time to get to know someone on a deeper level. For married couples, divorce is not biased. Whether married for thirty years or eight months, the outcome can be the same. The fact is that relationships, whether dating or married, are hard. Things do not always go perfectly, fighting does occur, and it takes a 100% commitment from both parties to make it a success. Often when people break off a relationship, they feel as though something is missing. The "spark" has gone, leaving one or both people feeling inadequate and unfulfilled. However, even though the odds are not very good, it has been proven by many people that healthy and long-lasting relationships are definitely possible. Look at Paul Newman and Joanne Woodard, Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman, or Nancy and Ronald Regan. What secrets do and did they possess? The answer is: work hard at the relationship. They made a decision of choosing to love their mate rather than relying on the "warm and fuzzy"

feelings, which everyone knows will fade. By making love a choice, you are making a decision that even in the bad times, you stick it out. There are hundreds of things you can do to build, strengthen, and enhance your relationship. You can find lots of relationship self help resources online. Remember, little steps taken every day will add up to big successes.
Source: http://www.lifeguide101.com/articles-database/Long-Lasting-Love-Relationships.html

A Long & Lasting Love

A good marriage doesn't just happen. It takes a lot of hard work. And the quicker we learn this, the better prepared we are when the original love feelings have run out. Far from being the end of the marital road, as many couples mistakenly believe, this is the point where real, deep, lasting love can actually begin. Except that now you have to actively commit to creating and maintaining loving emotions. You have to keep the romance going. GET OUT OF YOUR RUT We are all creatures of habit. From the moment we wake up right until we drift off to sleep again, we follow a daily routine that is made up of habits. Just stop to ponder - was there anything you did yesterday that was drastically different from the day before? Or do you envision you'll be doing things any differently tomorrow? Yes, the finer details will differ - you'll meet new people, wear different clothes, eat different food or maybe even go to different places. But the basic habit pattern remains the same, doesn't it? You still wake up in the usual way, by a certain time, brush your teeth and shower, get dressed, gulp down breakfast, scream at the kids and dash off to work, driving the same route before settling in at the office. And we do the same thing in our marriages. If things sometimes seem so cold between you and your partner, ask yourself these questions: Have I been doing the same old stuff with him or her, over and over again in the same boring sequence? Or, am I actively injecting life and joy into my marriage by doing different things in different ways? How would your husband or wife respond if you asked them, 'When was the last time you felt special with something I did for you?' If they stop to think for too long, chances are you've allowed the spring of romance in your marriage to dry up. TAKING LOVE FOR GRANTED Remember how things were when you first met your spouse and started going out? Effortless passion just swept you along, and those feelings had you doing the most exciting and intense things for him or her. You went out together to do fun things. You laughed, you talked, you played. Almost everything you did was powered by the love you felt for one another. Then, as hormones waned, that original flame started to flicker, and before long, you'd stopped doing loving things for one another. When you look at your husband or wife, there's no heart-thumping, weak-at- the-knees reaction anymore. Just a deep fondness and familiarity, a 'yes, you're nice' feeling which is great if you're talking about the family cat, not the person you married! It's never a conscious or deliberate act. Too often, we get caught up with the busyness of life and among the first things we forget to do is take care of our love for our spouse. And this is why so many relationships start to crack between four and ten years of marriage - simply because we've stopped doing things that create deep and lasting emotions. Go back to your behaviour with your spouse in your courting days and try to match it to how you relate to each other now. How drastically have things changed, and have they been for the better? If we're really honest with ourselves, we'll be able to identify areas of our relationship which we have neglected, or just plain taken for granted. And then we need to work at reversing the process. FINDING LOVE AGAIN It's a difficult and often painful place to be when you lose your original love. It's not a unique affliction that hits some of us, but a universal thing that every strong relationship goes through. Because they are unprepared for this, many couples quit when their feelings of being in love disappear. They think it's gone forever and they'll never get it back, so they either get divorced and try with a new partner or carry on in a cold, passive marriage. What they don't know is that real and lasting love must be actively

pursued after the hormone-based emotional feelings have run out. Loss of love is the signal every couple must heed as a time to build a real marriage - not on infatuation, but on an intimate, genuine love that lasts forever. Now is the time to do something revolutionary - something you've never done before. It's going to involve actively engaging one another with loving behaviour in order to rekindle the romance once more. It will not magically re-appear when you wake up one morning, without any effort on your part. In a nutshell, it's cultivating new habits of relating to one another and never ceasing to look for ways to stir up and keep the love going. And as tough as it might seem, it's certainly well worth the effort, when you consider the grim alternative. For a start, have a heart-to-heart with your spouse about your daily habits, and honestly consider which ones can be modified a little or chucked out altogether. TILL DEATH DO US PART So, how do you keep the music playing? What are some of the little things you can start doing to keep thoughtfulness and romance alive in your marriage? Well, here's a list of suggestions to get you started - sometimes, all it takes is small changes to make huge differences in our relationships. . Always say please and thank you Many couples forget this basic courtesy, thinking they can do away with politeness or that their spouse should know they're grateful. Everyone needs to feel loved and appreciated. . Communicate This is probably one of the most important aspects of a good marriage. Set daily time aside to have meaningful conversation with each other. Develop and keep the channels open at all times, by talking about your day, your feelings, even interests, hobbies or sports. As you are able to share views and opinions about unimportant things, it becomes easy enough to talk openly about more significant matters. Make sure it's a conversation, though, not one-sided chatter! . Edit yourself Careless words, once spoken, can deeply crush your spouse's spirit and cause permanent damage. Couples who avoid saying every angry thought that comes to mind are consistently happier. Garbage should be thrown out - not delivered to a loved one. . Set high conduct standards Refuse to accept hurtful behaviour from one another. The most successful marriages are those which have committed at the very start of the relationship to keep a low-tolerance level for bad behaviour. This includes yelling, abusive language, physical violence or temper tantrums. . Show respect and politeness Many simple disagreements escalate into raging rows because of the tone or manner used. Avoid critical or confrontational remarks. Ask yourself, 'Do I treat my spouse as the most special person in the world or am I more polite to my neighbours?'. . Graciously accept apologies When a sincere apology is offered, be gracious in accepting it. Don't get all prickly in the way you handle it, or minimise it by muttering under your breath or throwing reproachful looks at your spouse. Remember, we may allow bitterness and resentment to set in when we fail to fully forgive or accept a heartfelt apology. . Focus on the positives Leave behind negative words, thoughts or critical attitudes and look for opportunities to communicate praise to your spouse. In a happy marriage, couples need to make at least 5 times as many positive statements to, and about each other, as opposed to negative statements. Words of praise make your spouse feel valued, strengthened and loved. It also helps him or her understand what touches you. . Honesty is the best policy Often, people keep big secrets about themselves from their spouses because they're afraid of possible rejection if the truth is revealed. Honesty builds trust, so be willing to be open. Of course, exercise wisdom in how you speak the truth, as answering 'Yes' to your wife's question of 'Honey, do I look fat in this?' is simply asking for trouble! . Take time to listen Be a great listener, and encourage your partner to pour out his or her thoughts, especially when they're going through a tough time at work. Look into their eyes when they're talking, to assure them of your undivided attention. . Date your mate Make time for just the two of you at least once a week, even if it's just taking an evening walk around your neighbourhood together. One-on-one time is so precious these days! If you share the same faith, take time to seek God for wisdom in your daily life together. Always find time to laugh Laughter is truly good medicine, and cultivating

a sense of humour and the ability to laugh at oneself goes a long way in dealing with tense situations. Learn how to make your spouse laugh when things get really down. Get creative Never be afraid to try out new activities you can do together, whether it's dance lessons or ice-skating. This applies to your private moments together as well, and you can certainly spice things up in the bedroom with new love ideas that will keep you both happy! Sharing the profoundest love ever - that's what marriage is all about! And it's much more fulfilling than the hormone-driven infatuation you started off with. Commit to it faithfully, and you'll be rewarded with a deep fulfilment as lasting love is set ablaze in your heart once more.