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Every journey of faith begins with God knocking at the door of the heart - ever so gently. The knock may be a spiritual hunger in the soul, a call to love in the heart, or an illness that invades the body. If we open the door, God will take us by the hand and lead us into the unknown - ever so gently. Then at some memorable moment God will surprise and bless us beyond our wildest dream. The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you loved them. The Journey of Faith Takes Place in Three Stages

The Childhood Stage The Adolescent Stage The Adult Stage

Faith by Birth Faith in Transition Faith by Choice

Of these three stages, the adolescent stage is normally the most critical and most painful. It is the most critical stage because at this time in our lives, we begin the important transition from being a Christian by culture (physical birth) to being a Christian by conviction (personal choice). Likewise, the adolescent stage is the most painful stage because during this stage our childhood faith must die before our adult faith can be born. The dying of our childhood faith causes the pain.

John Kirvan's book, The Restless Believers, contains a moving description of how the death of our childhood faith affects us. He quotes a young person a saying: "I don't know what's going wrong, but I just don't believe like I used to. When I was in grade school and for the first couple of years of high school I was real religious, and now I just don't seem to care." The death of our childhood faith makes us feel sick at heart - even guilty. This is unfortunate for our faith is simply going through an important transitional stage. The Transitional Stage Involves Three Human Levels The transition from being a Christian by culture (birth) to being a Christian by conviction (choice) is a gradual process. Moreover, it is a process that is never fully complete. It goes on all of our lives and involves three human levels. Mind Level Heart Level Soul Level Opening to truth, Opening to love, and Opening to Grace.

At the mind level, we often find ourselves questioning what we once took for granted. For example, we ask, "Is there really a God?" This questioning is necessary, for often our childhood idea of God is incomplete, even inaccurate. Tolstoy observes: When a savage ceases to believe in his wooden God, this does not mean there is no God, but only that the true God is not made of wood. At the heart level, we find ourselves making the transition from an almost exclusive, selfish concern for our own enjoyment and needs to a more responsible concern for other people's enjoyment and needs as well. We find ourselves opening to love. In Father Powell's words, this is "the surest way to find God." Why? God is love, and those who live in love live in union with God and God lives in union with them. I John 4:16 And so when we open our heart to another, we open it to God as well. The Faith Level Is the Most Difficult Of the three levels, the soul level is the hardest to understand. This is because faith involves gift on God's part and freedom on our part. The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains it this way:

When St. Peter confessed that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God, Jesus declared to him that this revelation did not come "from flesh and blood," but from "my Father who is in heaven." Faith is a gift of God, a supernatural virtue infused by him.... Believing is possible only by grace and the interior helps of the Holy Spirit (gift). But it is no less true that believing is an authentically human act (free)..... In faith, the human intellect and will cooperate with divine grace: "Believing is an act of the intellect assenting to the divine truth by command of the will moved by God through grace." What moves us to believe is not the fact that revealed truths appear as true and intelligible in the light of our natural reason: ...we believe "because of the authority of God ... who reveals them." ccc, 153-156 To help us respond to the internal helps of the Holy Spirit, God has given us external signs, such as the miracles of Jesus. "They are motives of credibility' ... which show that the assent of faith is 'by no means a blind impulse of the mind.'" ccc, 156 This leads us to a final and extreme important dimension of the faith journey. It involves: Loving Trust, Ongoing Effort, and Periods of Darkness. The Faith Journey Involves Loving Trust A good example of what we mean by "loving trust" is marriage. When two people join hands and promise to journey together on the road of life, neither is totally sure the other will remain faithful should a crisis arise. They have no absolute certainty how the other will respond in some mutual crisis. This is where loving trust comes in. Faith is something like that. It too, involves risk and, therefore, loving trust - not in the sense that God is unfaithful (God is always faithful). Rather, it involves loving trust in the sense that we are not sure where a faith response of God will lead us. The Faith Journey Involves Ongoing Effort

This brings us to one of the biggest mistakes we can make on our faith journey to God. It is the false idea that once we "get the faith" we will never have to worry about it again. Consider these words of young person: One day I decided to commit my life to Jesus. This decision gave me unbelievable peace and joy. But two days later, I found myself doing something that no Christian would ever do. I concluded that I had not really committed my life to Jesus at all. I had only psyched myself into thinking I had. But then I realized something important. I realized that when we commit our lives to Jesus, we commit only that part of ourselves that we are conscious of at the moment. That's all we can do. This person's experience illustrates what psychologists tell us: the greater part of ourselves lies below our consciousness. It surfaces only slowly and gradually with each new experience. This explains why faith involves ongoing effort. It is because we are constantly evolving and changing as persons. As a result, we must constantly recommit ourselves to God as we change and evolve. Our faith can never be a one-time decision. It must always remain an ongoing effort. The Faith Journey Involves Periods of Darkness Finally, faith has a way of going in and out of focus. What was once clear to us becomes fuzzy for a while. Worse yet, there are times when our faith seems to go behind a cloud and disappear in darkness. This darkness is usually Traceable to one of three sources: Our Human Nature, Our Individual Selves, or God. First, it may be caused by our human nature, which is vulnerable to "highs" and "lows". In other words, the darkness reflects the natural mood swings of everyday human life. Some days are great and we wonder why we ever thought life was hard. On other days, nothing goes right and it's hard to know why we ever thought life was beautiful. Our faith has similar mood swings. These mood swings simply go with the territory of being human. Second, the periods of darkness may be traceable to our individual selves. We can cause them by neglecting our faith. That is, we can let our faith grow weak from sin or

from lack of spiritual nourishment. Thus, just as our body grows weak from abuse or lack of physical nourishment, so our soul grows weak form sin and lack of spiritual nourishment. Third, and finally, the periods of darkness may be trials traceable to God, who allows them to happen to strengthen and deepen our faith. God uses trials to help us grow in our faith.

Take the case of Abraham. When he was told to prepare to sacrifice his son Isaac, his mind was cast into darkness. How could Isaac give him many descendents if he was sacrificed? Suddenly, Abraham's faith was challenged as never before. Had he relied on the light of reason, rather than the darkness of faith of God, his faith would have been snuffed out. Instead, he trusted in God and his faith was greatly strengthened and deepened. Genesis 22: 1-16 Regardless of the source of our darkness, the agony it can generate is great. In his novel The Devil's Advocate, Morris West describes the agony caused by a period of darkness.

How does one come back to belief? I tried to reason myself back to ..... a parent ..... All children have parents ..... I groped for God and could not find God. I prayed to God ..... and God did not answer. I wept at night for the loss of God. Lost tears and fruitless grief. Then one day God was there again ..... I had a parent and God knew me ..... I had never understood till this moment the meaning of the words "gift of faith." (Slightly adapted) Back to Top of Page

Continuing The Journey Keep Open to God's Grace

John Newton was a British sea captain and slave trader. One night a violent storm threatened his ship and his cargo of slaves, en route from Africa to America. Newton promised God that he would give up the slave trade business and become God's slave forever if his ship made it safely to port. It did. Newton kept his promise. He studied for the ministry and eventually became a great preacher and composer of hymns. One of his most moving hymns celebrates his conversion. Part of the hymn reads: Amazing grace! how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now am found --Was blind, but now I see. Grace is, indeed amazing. The word grace occurs often in the letters of Saint Paul. Three passages, especially, sum up the three important points about grace: Grace is a gift. Grace communicates God's life. Grace communicates God's help. Grace is a Gift

Everyone has sinned and is far away from God's saving presence. But by the free gift of God's grace all are put right with him through Christ Jesus, who sets them free. Romans 3: 2324 This passage reveals the first important truth about grace. It is a "free and undeserved help that God gives us" (cc, 1996) Grace Communicates God's Life God poured out the Holy Spirit abundantly on us through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that by his grace we might be put right with God and come into possession of ... eternal life. Titus 3: 6-7 This passage reveals a second truth about grace: it puts us right with God and communicates eternal life to us. In other words, grace restores our friendship with God (which sin had destroyed) and communicates to us a share of God's life. The Catechism of the Catholic Church puts it this way: The grace of Christ is the gratuitous gift that God makes to us of his own life, infused by the Holy Spirit into our soul to heal it of sin and to sanctify it. It is the sanctifying or deifying grace received in Baptism. ccc, 1999 Grace Communicates God's Help Let us have confidence, then, and approach God's throne, where there is grace. There we will receive mercy and find grace to help us just when we need it . Hebrews 4: 16 This passage reveals a third truth about grace: God does not "grace" us once and stop. God does not just give us a share of divine life and leave it at that. God helps us preserve and nourish that life. This is what Newton had in mind in another verse of "Amazing Grace": Through many dangers, toils, and snares I have already come; 'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home. God gives us not only divine life but also divine help to preserve it. The Catechism of the Catholic Church distinguishes between habitual and actual grace, saying Sanctifying grace is an habitual gift, a stable and supernatural disposition ..... to enable it to live with God, to act by his love.

Habitual grace ... is distinguished from actual graces which refer to God's interventions, whether at the beginning of conversion or in the course of the work of sanctification. ccc, 2000 And so we may sum up the three important points as follows: Grace is a gift from God. Sanctifying grace communicates God's life to us. Actual grace communicates God's help to us. Keep In Touch With Jesus [Jesus said to his disciples,] I am the vine, and you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will bear much fruit; for you can do nothing without me." John 15: 5 Someone asked an elderly Catholic what advice she would give new Catholics. She said, "I'd tell them to stay in touch with Jesus, especially through some form of daily meditation on the Scriptures." This takes only ten minutes a day and follows the daily Mass readings. The meditation process involves four steps: Reading the exercise prayerfully, Thinking about some point from it that struck you, Speaking to Jesus about that point, Listening to what Jesus might want to say to you. Reach Out to Others God often graces us through others. An example of how others help us on our faith journey is the way Jesus helped the two disciples on Easter morning. They were returning to Emmaus, crushed by the events of Good Friday. Jesus himself drew near ....; they saw him but somehow did not recognize Him. Jesus said to them, "What are you talking about .... as you walk along?" .... "The things that have been happening [in Jerusalem, "they answered.] ... Then Jesus said to them, "How foolish you are, how slow you are to believe everything the prophets said! Was it not necessary for the Messiah to suffer these things and then to enter his glory?" Luke 24: 15-18, 25-26

Jesus reached out and supported the disciples with guidance and encouragement - just when they needed help. That is how the Christian community can help us, also. One way to receive this help is to join a support and faith-sharing group. Anticipate Highs & Lows In his humorous book, The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis has a delightful scene where the devil instructs a young "apprentice devil" to "work hard" on the new Christian when the euphoria of conversion subsides. That is when the person is most vulnerable. Continuing the faith journey is not unlike the journey of life in that it has its ups and downs. Literary critic Emilie Griffin makes this point in her book, Turning. Emilie writes that just after becoming a Catholic, she experienced a "burst of thankfulness, even a kind of euphoria, a spontaneous charity for everyone and everything. I wanted to shout from the rooftops!" Emilie compared her "euphoria" to what Charles Dickens said to Ebenezer Scrooge after Scrooge's conversion. He went to Church ... and patted children on the head and questioned beggars ... and found that everything could yield him pleasure. He never dreamed that any walk -- that anything -- could yield him so much happiness. (The Christmas Carol) We Can Not Stay On The Mountain Peak Forever Naturally, such an intense, emotional high cannot last forever. We can not live the rest of our lives on the mountaintop. And so Emilie says: There comes a day ...when the sense of an extraordinary event begins to ebb, a day which is as humdrum and unexciting as the days before conversion ... Spiritual duties ... feel once again ... like burdens. What is more distressing, the convert finds that while he is a new man in Christ, he has brought over a good deal of the old man with him. His little sins and temptations creep back into his life and catch him unaware. Emilie quotes Avery Dulles as saying much the same thing about his own conversion: "I was surprised to learn that my conversion had scarcely begun.

I had previously imagined that I would embark on a heroic course of action... In this I was wrong, totally wrong. One's human nature remains and with it all the tendencies of pride and selfishness which faith condemns.... "Barth, in writing about conversion, says that the new man does not supplant the old man within us but that they coexist throughout our lives in a constant tension. "The mature Christian accepts this duality as something he will experience throughout his lifetime." The important thing to keep in mind in all of this is that the journey of faith is a lot like the journey of life. Some days are bright and sunny. Other days are dark and overcast. Our faith journey is subject to the same rhythms of light and darkness. In conclusion, then, we should keep in mind these four guidelines as we continue or faith journey. We should: keep open to God's grace, keep in touch with Jesus, reach out to others, and anticipate highs and lows.