Brett Hartman

Finding the Writer Within

Writing is very different from other subjects, in which there is no concrete way to tackle a writing assignment, which leads the writer to find their own routines to get the most optimal outcome. We may have been taught ways in past from our teachers in which to brainstorm, make flow charts, or something along those lines, but when it comes time to sit down and actually begin, your own writing process will be what you follow, not what was recommended in the past. Writing is a subject that is very flexible, because there are no set formulas or equations to follow to get to the final product. Knowing this, may lead people to have very strange routines or processes in which they follow. I thought that this was a very strange concept to grasp, because I have always thought of academic work to always have a set structure to follow. Though I have never considered myself as a person to be gifted in the field of writing, I have always trudged through every paper assignment knowing that I lack certain skills required to be a successful writer. In my attempts to figure out my writing process I had hope that I would be able to find certain habits or routines that I could alter to change my writing for the better. In response to this, I took it upon myself to take a look at my own writing style to see what I was able to find. While writing a previous article, I dissected every aspect of my writing process, from my thoughts, to my actions to attain closure on my writing skills. From the moment I received the initial writing assignment and deadline, I instantaneously began to think about potential topics and timelines in which I

would be able to efficiently complete the assignment. I was very surprised at this observation because, I am an exceptionally bad procrastinator. I would have guessed that if my thoughts about the assignment begin instantaneous, then I also would be able to complete the assignment early, leaving much time for revising. However, that is not the case. After the initial brainstorming, there is little thought or effort put into the assignment until the deadline shockingly is due the next day. Whenever I put off my writings until the last minute I become stressed and the outcome is not nearly as good as I had imagined it to be. But what else was I expecting to be the outcome when I leave insufficient time to accomplish my tasks? Although I end up starting my writing process at the very last minute, I do often make numerous attempts to begin earlier because I do not want to relive my previous stressful episodes. When I attempt to begin my writing earlier than the night before the deadline, which usually is the case, I use my own methods, such as those that Kent Haruf discusses in his article, To See Clearly, Start by Pulling the Wool over Your Own Eyes. No, I do not sit in my underwear and blindfold myself, but I do take certain measures in order to effectively write. I begin by taking myself away from all distraction; this leads me to the seventh floor of the library, in the stacks. I always find myself in a more concentrated state there because, it is silent, leaving it to be an optimal learning environment. After I submerge myself in my optimal learning environment, I then attempt to begin. I first jot down the main concepts of the assignment to give me a basic guideline to follow. After I have jotted down notes and ideas onto a sheet of loose-

leaf paper, I then pull up that dreaded blank word document. I then turn to my mess of notes, and compose my thesis, which I never find much difficulty in developing. This point is most definitely the worst part of the entire writing process. With the thought of knowing that I have roughly four pages to write, with nothing written down yet to expand upon and the only thing for me to do at this point is to begin. I then begin to write my introduction paragraph, but nothing seems to be flowing or getting to the point of my thesis, which leads me to become frustrated. Frustration turns to stress, then stress into anger, which leads me to abort my task of beginning the assignment early and I leave it to a later date. After dissecting the process stated earlier, I find myself pondering why I am only able to complete writing assignments under time constraints and extreme amounts of pressure. After my abortion of the first attempt to write the paper, I leave the assignment untouched until the day before it is due. Then, I go through the same tactics I previously discussed, only this time I am forced to continue on with my writing because, there is no more time for me to put it off. This leads me to write with anger towards myself, for not giving enough time, and my teacher, for doing their job and assigning the actual paper. The final result almost never turns out the way that I had intended it to be, because the only thing on my mind throughout the writing was to just finish it, while I should have been putting more effort into it. My anger and frustration lead me to realize that my difficulties with writing do not lie with the tasks I take to write a paper, instead it lies in my conscious. Allegra Goodman would say that my inner critic is causing me these difficulties and frustrations.

They say writing is lonely work. But thats an exaggeration. Even alone at their desks, writers entertain visitors (Goodman 308). In the article Calming the Inner Critic and Getting to Work, Goodman discusses how writers always are criticizing their work. This is the source of my problem. I have this idea of an excellent paper and I attempt to recreate what I have imagined, but I can never fulfill my desire. I continually criticize my work until I have been mentally drained, which leads me to giving up on my writing. If I could simply let go of this inner critic and begin to write without obstruction I feel that my writing would increase dramatically. Being able to write with no restraints, no complications, and no criticism will allow me to write what I truly feel and appreciate it for what its worth. To accomplish this goal I will need to approach all writing assignments with a different mentality. I will need to lower my initial expectations of my perfect paper in order to allow myself to begin being relaxed which will make it easier to construct my writing. In my attempts to calm my inner critic, I will also try to have a more positive and reinforcing attitude toward my work, which will create a relaxed atmosphere for me to work in. I believe that the outcome of a writing assignment is much better when written with a positive attitude rather than a negative one. Goodman writes in her article, Calming the inner Critic and Getting to work, Love your material. Nothing frightens the inner critic more than the writer who loves their work (Goodman 309). I feel that if I take Goodmans advice to heart, and thought about her opinions on loving my work, Id greatly improve upon my writing.

Dissecting my writing process has shown me what I do, and what needs to be done in order for me to achieve my ultimate writing.

Works Cited Page Goodman, Allegra. Calming the Inner Critic and Getting to Work. New York Times, 12 Mar. 2001. Web. 30 Nov. 2009. Haruf, Kent. To See Your Story Clearly, Start by Pulling the Wool over Your Own Eyes. New York Times. 20 Nov. 2000. Web. 30 Nov. 2009.