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INSIDE
Where is Abu Dhabi?
International Info . . . . . . P AGE 4 Since it’s the holiday shopping sea-
son, you might be spending a lot of
How can you protect your time at the mall. Read on for some
files from disaster? things you might not know about
Best of t he ‘N e t . . P AG E 5
some of the most famous malls in the
How common are twins? world.
By the Numbers . . . . . . . PAGE 6
• The Mall of America in Bloom-
Which state joined the ington, Minnesota is probably the
Union 190 years ago most famous shopping mall in the
this Wednesday? United States and has the largest
This Week in History . . . PAGE 7 enclosed area of any US mall. It
has much more inside than stores
Which famous English
poet would be 400 and a food court; among other
this Tuesday? attractions, the Mall of America
B i r t h da ys . . . . . . P A G E 7 has an indoor amusement park
called Nickelodeon Universe
Plus games including:
(form erl y known as Cam p
Crossword— PAGE 2
Scavenger Hunt— PAGE 2 Snoopy), an aquarium, a wedding
Trivia Quiz— PAGE 3 chapel, and Lego Imagination
Sudoku— PAGE 6 Center.
• Not all malls are for shopping.
...And More!
• The Mall of America may be the
biggest mall in the United States,
but it is far from the biggest in the
world. In fact, it’s not even in the
top ten. At over 12 million square
feet—almost five times the size of
the Mall of America—the world’s
biggest mall is the Dubai Mall in
Dubai, United Arab Emirates.
Advertise in (For more on the UAE, see page
four.) The Dubai Mall has about
1,200 stores, 120 cafes and restau-
Gist Weekly! rants, a SEGA theme park, Olym-
pic-sized ice skating rink, water-
fall, atrium, aquarium, a 250-room
hotel, and a section that has a •
football stadium-style retractable
roof.
Effective and
affordable,
especially with
December’s special
rates! See page
five.
Metropolis
821 First Street
LaSalle
(815) 223-9433
www.metropolis.theshoppe.com
Mall Trivia
By Kane Casolari
WILLIAM WESEN/WC (PD
Inside the Mall of America
“Mall” can also mean “walkway.”
The National Mall in Washington,
DC is a national park that in-
cludes many of DC’s most fa-
mous landmarks, such as the Lin-
coln Memorial, the Washington
Monument, and the United States
Capitol Building. It has been the
site of many rallies and protests,
the most notable of which was
probably in 1963 when Dr. Mar-
tin Luther King, Jr. gave his fa-
mous “I Have a Dream” speech
to a crowd of roughly 250,000.
In London, “the Mall” refers to
the road that runs from Bucking-
ham Palace to Trafalgar Square.
When foreign heads of state visit
Lostant, IL 61334
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ISSUE #2
the United Kingdom, they and
the British monarch (currently
Queen Elizabeth II) take a car-
riage up the Mall, which is deco-
rated with flags of both the
United Kingdom and the country
of the visiting head of state.
• Another famous mall in London
is Pall Mall. The street runs paral-
lel to the Mall and gets its name
from the game pall mall, a 16th
and 17th century forerunner of
croquet. Pall Mall is known as the
home of many gentlemen’s clubs.
It should be noted that the term
“gentlemen’s club” does not have
the same meaning in England as it
does in the United States; it liter-
ally refers to a building used by a
private association (club) of up-
per-class men (gentlemen).
Mall Jokes
A man is shopping for some pants
and goes to the dressing room to try
on a pair. Just as he starts changing,
he hears a voice from the next stall.
“Hi. How’s it going.”
“Uhh… fine, I guess.”
“I hope you’re not too busy to talk.”
“Actually, I’d rather not talk now.”
“You want to go get a drink sometime?”
“No. Please leave me alone.”
“How about Friday night?”
At this point the man bangs on the
wall separating the two stalls and
yells, “ I said I don’t want to talk to
you! Now let me change in peace!”
“Listen, I’ll have to call you back. Some
lunatic is banging on the wall and
screaming.”
An Amish family is visiting the big
city for the first time. At the mall, the
son sees a strange, small room with
sliding metal doors. “What’s that,
Dad?” he asks. The father, having
never seen an elevator before either,
replies, “I don’t know, but if we
watch it for a bit, maybe we can
figure it out..”
The two watch as an old lady pushes
a button and gets in the elevator. The
next time the doors open, the old
lady is gone and in her place is a
beautiful young woman.
“Son,” says the father, “go get your
mother.”
Page 2 www.gistweekly.com December 3, 2008
Word At the
Search Mall FUN AND GAMES Humor:
Paraprosdokians
A paraprosdokian—from the Greek
Scavenger Hunt for “beyond expectations”—is a
Search this issue of Gist Weekly to find the pictures, sentence or phrase that ends in
words, phrases, and names listed below. They surprising way that changes the
may be in articles, games, or ads. (Sorry, but expected meaning of the first part
finding them in this box doesn’t count.) of it, often to humorous effect.
When you’ve found them all, visit
Here are a few good examples.
www.gistweekly.com/contest to send in an
entry with the page number where you found each • “If I am reading this graph
IMAGE: MS
one. One correct entry will be chosen at random as the winner. correctly. . . I would be very
Find the following words and The winner of this issue’s contest will receive an Eco-Bag, an surprised.”—Stephen Colbert
phrases in the diagram above. They environmentally–friendly alternative to paper or plastic bags. More details
on the prize can be found in the ad on page eight. Deadline for entries is • “I haven’t slept for ten days,
may be forward, backward, up,
December 10, 2008. because that would be too
down, or diagonal.
Limit one entry per person per issue. Winners are limited to one prize per household every four weeks. long.”—Mitch Hedberg
Arcade Movies
A. Cotton F. Heart of Darkness • “If I had a dollar for every time
Books Music
B. Dice* G. Hula Hoop* I said that, I’d be making money
Clothes Sales
C. Elephant H. John Lennon in a very weird way.”—Mitch
Food Court Shoes
D. Escalator* I. RIP Hedberg
Gift Card Shopping
E. Flag* J. Screensavers *Picture
Mall Stores • “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful
evening, but this wasn’t it.”
While information in Gist Weekly is collected from sources judged to be
reliable, the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. Gist
MAZE — Groucho Marx
Media is not responsible for the content or accuracy of advertisements. Find your way from the upper-left corner to the lower-right
Advertisements are the property of their respective companies and/or
creators. The Gist Weekly name and logo are property of Gist Media. • “I once shot an elephant in my
Any other trademarks used are the property of their respective
owners. All images not otherwise indicated are in the public domain. pajamas. How he got in my
For image credits, WC: Wikimedia Commons; MS: Microsoft Corp., used
under license; PD: public domain; CC BY #: Creative Commons pajamas I don’t know.”
Attribution License (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/#, where # is
the number next to “CC BY”). — Groucho Marx
Any text and puzzles created by Gist Media and not otherwise
indicated as being in the public domain or created/copyrighted by a • “If I could say a few words, I
third party were created by Kane Casolari and are released under the
Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 would be a better public
License. For more information, visit
g i st w ee k ly . co m / li c en s e o r speaker.”—Homer Simpson
creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0.

33. Embankment 11. Measure of quality of life (abbr.)*

CROSSWORD 34. Ear: Prefix 12. Pince-___
35. Aromatic fragrance 13. Suffix with lact-
36. Olden magistrates 19. Names
37. Young horse 21. Alarm
38. The Monkees’ “___ Believer” 23. Streetcar
39. Arab League member 25. Minnesota city that is home to
40. Soccer ___ the Mall of America*
41. Big ___ 26. Bits
42. Souvenir shop stock 27. Shed item
43. Positions 29. Free from gas
44. Establish by law 30. Level
46. Enter 32. Circus performer
49. Embellishment 33. Veinlike deposit
52. Dog’s warning 35. ___-Honey (candy)
53. Mental lapse 36. Governess
56. Rat tail? 37. Central points
57. African language 39. Stapes
58. Chinese leader? 40. Clump of trees
59. Lake 43. Beatle who was killed 28 years
60. Open, as a toothpaste tube ago this Monday*
61. Youth 45. Main artery
62. Inner: Prefix 46. Crystal-lined rock
47. Plot of land
DOWN 48. Garden products brand
1. Clobber 50. Going ___
ACROSS 18. To perform a lobotomy on 2. Country bumpkin 51. Pit
1. Model and television host 20. Very modern 3. State that has the motto, “Hope” 53. Aladdin monkey
Banks* 21. Female 4. Powdery residue 54. Prohibit
5. ___ Bator, Mongolia 22. Woman who writes poetry 5. But 55. abbr. at the bottom of a letter
9. Prefix with biology 24. Delicate morsel of food 6. Weaving machines 56. Malt beverage
14. Cheers 28. 401(k) cousins 7. Prefix with dextrous
15. Iditarod terminus 29. Shoulder muscle, for short 8. Inert gaseous element *Starred clues have answers that can be
16. Waits 31. Forfeit or sum paid into the pool found elsewhere in this issue
9. Vulcanite
17. Oops! 32. Former Russian ruler 10. Measured time Solutions to all puzzles are on page 8
ISSUE #2 www.gistweekly.com Page 3
Page 4
ADAPTED FROM WC MAP (PD)
International Info:
United Arab Emirates
• The United Arab Emirates (UAE)
is located on the southwestern
part of the Arabian Peninsula,
bordering Oman, Saudi Arabia,
and the Persian Gulf.
• The UAE is made up of seven
states: Abu Dhabi, Ajman, Dubai, •
Fujairah, Ras al-Khaimah, Sharja,
and Umm al-Quwain.
• Abu Dhabi is the capital of the
UAE. The
UAE’s largest
city is Dubai,
with a popu-
l a ti o n of
about 1.1
million.
Flag of the United Arab Emirates
• Recently, the
UAE has had
a number of high-profile con-
struction projects, especially in
Dubai. In addition to numerous
skyscrapers, two completed pro- • Each of the states of the United
jects include the Burj Al Arab—
the world’s tallest hotel—and the
Mall of the Emirates, which con-
tains the first indoor ski slope in • Together, the seven emirs make
the Middle East.
• A building project currently under
construction is The World, a
group of about 300 artificial is-
lands designed to form a world
map off the coast of Dubai.
• As of 2005, the most recent year
for which statistics are available, •
the United Nations calculated the
UAE’s Human Development In-
dex (HDI) to be 0.868 on a scale
from 0 (worst) to 1 (best)—39th
highest in the world. By compari-
MATCH UP
A ruler in the United Arab Emirates is called an emir. Match these
historical titles (left) with their associated countries (right).
Dauphin
Herzog
Khan
Maharaja
Shah
www.gistweekly.com December 3, 2008
son, the U.S. is ranked 12th with
an Human Development Index
of 0.951. The HDI takes into ac-
count such factors as life expec-
tancy, education, literacy, and
overall standards of living.
Part of the reason for the UAE’s
relatively high standard of living
is its booming economy. Much of
the country’s revenue comes
from oil, but in
recent decades
tourism has also
been a significant
part of the econ-
omy, especially
since the construc-
tion boom.
• The UAE is
about 86,600 sq km (about 32,280
sq mi) in area—about the size of
South Carolina.
Arab Emirates is called an emirate
because it is ruled by a hereditary
ruler called an emir.
up the Federal Supreme Council
(FSC). The FSC elects the presi-
dent and vice president. The
UAE also has a prime minister
and deputy prime minister, both
of whom are appointed by the
president.
The UAE’s Federal National
Council—a legislative house simi-
lar to a congress or parliament—
is comprised of 20 members ap-
pointed by the emirs and 20 who
are elected to two-year terms.
2008 ad budget used up?
No problem!
Order an ad from Gist Weekly in December and
Persia/Iran pay in January! Checks, money orders, and all
Mongolia
major credit cards accepted. Special savings on
India
all ads ordered by Christmas! See opposite
Germany
page for details.
France
ISSUE #2 www.gistweekly.com Page 5

TRIVIA QUIZ
1. As mentioned on page one, the
Mall of America is the biggest
shopping mall in the United States.
In what year did it open?
2. The humor section on page two
has two quotes by Groucho Marx.
Complete the following Groucho
quip: Time flies like an arrow. Fruit
flies like ___.
3. Page four has information about
the United Arab Emirates, includ-
ing its capital, Abu Dhabi. On the
cartoon Garfield and Friends, who
did Garfield often try to mail to
Abu Dhabi?
4. The article to the right tells about
Mozy, one way of backing up data.
What type of floppy-style disk with
capacities of 100 to 750 megabytes
was a popular backup option be-
fore broadband Internet, rewritable
CDs and DVDs, and USB flash
drives became widespread?
5. Page six has trivia about the num-
ber two, including twins. What are
the names of the mythological
twins in the constellation Gemini?
6. “This Week in History” (page
seven) tells about the attack on
Pearl Harbor. Who directed the
2001 film Pearl Harbor?
Best of the ’Net:
Mozy Online Backup
have to store the backup somewhere is very easy to use—much more so
The Gist of It where you can find it and where it than any other backup service this
What it is: An online service to back won’t get damaged along with your reviewer has tried. You just tell the
up your computer’s data. computer in the case of a disaster. An software which folders and/or types
What it costs: As of this writing, alternative is to use an online backup of files to back up, and it will take
home plans are free (2GB plan) service. That’s where Mozy comes in. care of the rest. The software can be
to $4.95/month (unlimited plan); set up to make backups when the
business plans are $3.95 + $0.50 Mozy is available in two versions for
computer has been idle for a certain
per GB per month for desktops home users, a free one with limited
number of minutes—kicking into ac-
and $6.95 + $0.50 per GB per storage and a plan with unlimited
tion when you are away, similar to the
month for servers. storage for $4.95 per month. Mozy
way screensavers do—or scheduled to
Storage space: Free plan starts at also offers business plans for compa-
run only at a certain time. The files
2GB, others are unlimited. nies. For this review, the focus will be
are copied to Mozy’s servers, which
Signup link: on the free home version, which is
means that they will be safe from any
https://mozy.com/?ref=ZU4QCG adequate for many users and is a good disasters that befall your own com-
way to test Mozy before committing
As any experienced computer user any money to it. puter. Backing up files takes some
knows, backing up files is important. system resources, but the amount can
All it takes is one virus, hard drive The free plan comes with 2 gigabytes be adjusted by simple sliders labeled
failure, accidental deletion, or natural of storage space to start—enough for with easy-to-understand tradeoffs like
disaster (flood, fire, tornado, etc.) to roughly two hours of high-quality “Faster Computer” versus “Quicker
wipe out months of hard work or video, 500 songs, 1,750 photos, or Backups.”
years of digital family photos. Not 65,000 pages of Microsoft Word files. Overall, Mozy is highly recom-
everyone backs up their files as often If you refer friends to Mozy and they mended. With the free version, you
as they should, however, due largely sign up for the service, you and the have nothing to lose and the paid ver-
to the inconvenience; you have to referred person each get an additional sion is significantly cheaper and easier
remember to make backups, feed in a 256 megabytes (one-quarter of a giga-
to use than many of its competitors.
disc—or several—or buy an external byte)—sometimes more during occa-
hard drive for a couple hundred dol- sional, limited promotional periods.
Mozy is not a Gist Weekly advertiser and
lars and then wait for everything to All that storage is no good to you if
did not pay for this review. This recommen-
backup. If backing up to CDs, DVDs, you can’t figure out how to use it.
dation is based solely on the editor’s experi-
or an external hard drive, you then Fortunately, Mozy’s desktop software
ence with the service.

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Prices quoted only apply if contract is signed and payment received in full before first ad runs. If the contract length and payment period differ, the price per ad will be based on the average between the payment period and the contract
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Page 6 www.gistweekly.com
By the Numbers: 2
IMAGE: MS
• The second President of the
• Two is the smallest number that it
is possible to roll on a pair of
standard dice. Rolling two is
sometimes called “snake eyes” •
because the single dot on each die
resembles a pair of eyes (see pic-
ture above). The odds of rolling
snake eyes are one in thirty-six.
• In the United States, approxi-
mately 3.1% of births are twins.
Only about 8% of those—or
about one in 400 births overall—
are identical twins that come •
from one fertilized egg that split;
the other 92% of twins are frater-
nal twins, who come from sepa-
rate eggs and are genetically no
more alike that any other siblings.
• Two is the identification code •
number of high-density polyethyl-
ene (HDPE), the kind of plastic
commonly used to make milk
jugs, soda and water bottles, and
• Computers use a base two, or bi-
plastic bags. HDPE is one of the
most commonly recycled forms
of plastic.
• Most people know that the first
• A playing card with the number
person on the Moon was Neil
Armstrong. The second was Buzz
Aldrin. “Buzz,” by the way, has
been his legal name since 1988.
Number Games
SUDOKU
Place a number in each empty box
so that every row, column, and 9-
box square contains each of the
numbers from one to nine.
Difficulty: ⋆⋆⋆
December 3, 2008
Before that, he was Edwin
Eugene Aldrin, Jr., and “Buzz”
was just a nickname.
United States was John Adams.
He was also the first Vice Presi-
dent, so his wife Abigail Adams
was both the second First Lady
and the first Second Lady.
The Second Amendment to the
United States Constitution reads,
A well regulated mili-
tia being necessary to
the security of a free
State, the right of the
People to keep and
bear arms shall not be
infringed.
The second-highest mountain in
the world even has “2” in its
name: It is K2 in the Himalayas.
K2 is 8,611m (28,251 ft) high,
compared to Everest’s 8,850m
(29,035 ft).
Two is the smallest prime number
and the only one that is even
(since all other even numbers are
divisible by two).
nary, number system. This means
that they use numbers with only
two different digits, 0 and 1.
two on it is often called a
“deuce.” The term comes from
the Latin duos meaning—you
guessed it—“two.”
NONOGRAM
Use logic to determine which boxes to
fill in and which to leave white. The
numbers below each column and next
to each row indicate unbroken sets of
filled-in boxes: i.e., “5 2” means that sets
of 5 and 2 black boxes appear in it, in
that order, with at least one white box in
between. Fill in a box only when you are
sure it must be black. You may want to
mark known white boxes with Xs or
dots.
ISSUE #2 www.gistweekly.com Page 7

This Week in History This Week’s

• December 3, 1818: Illinois be-
comes the 21st state.
• December 4, 1918: President
Woodrow Wilson sets sail for
Versailles, France to attend the
peace talks following World War
I, making him the first US presi-
dent to travel to Europe while in
office.
• December 5, 1933: Utah ratifies
the 21st Amendment to the
United States Constitution, giving
the Amendment enough state
President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs the
support to pass, ending 13 years
of Prohibition.
declaration of war against Japan after the
• December 6, 1768: Editor Wil- •
liam Smellie publishes the first
part of the first edition of the En-
cyclopædia Britannica in Edin-
burgh, Scotland. It costs six to
eight pence, depending on the
type of paper.
• December 7, 1941: On what •
President Franklin Roosevelt will
later call “a date which will live in
infamy,” the Japanese Navy at-
tacks the United States’ Pacific
Fleet at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii.
attack on Pearl Harbor
December 8, 1980: Around
10:50PM, Mark David Chapman
shoots former Beatle John Len-
non four times outside Lennon’s
New York apartment, fatally
wounding him. Lennon is de-
clared dead at 11:20PM.
December 9, 1793: Noah Web-
ster, best known today for the
dictionaries that bear his name,
establishes New York City’s first
daily newspaper, the American Mi-
nerva.
Celebrity
Birthdays
Singer and reality show star Ozzy Osbourne (“Gets Me Through,” “Crazy
Train”) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .December 3, 1948
Supermodel and television host Tyra Banks (America’s Next Top Model, The
Tyra Banks Show) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 4, 1973
Comedienne and actress Margaret Cho . . . . . . . . . December 5, 1968
Guitarist Peter Buck (R.E.M.) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 6, 1956
Linguist and political writer Noam Chomsky . . . . . . December 7, 1928
Actress and singer AnnaSophia Robb (Bridge to Terabithia, Because of Winn-
Dixie) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 8, 1993
Guitarist Brian Bell (Weezer) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 9, 1968
CLIPART: MS
Historic
Birthdays This
Week
Author Joseph Conrad (Heart of Darkness) . . . . . December 3, 1857
Oglala Sioux chief Crazy Horse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 4, 1840
Film visionary Walt Disney . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 5, 1901
Bank robber Baby Face Nelson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 6, 1908
Singer and songwriter Harry Chapin (“Cat’s in the Cradle,” “Taxi”) . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 7, 1942
Poet and singer Jim Morrison (The Doors). . . . . . . . . . . . December 8, 1943
Poet John Milton (Paradise Lost) . . . . . . . . . . . . . December 9, 1608

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Neelam Goel, MD Peru
Ricardo Calderon, MD 920 West St #116 IVCC Pennzoil 10 Minute Oil Waldorf Hair Co.
128 Bucklin St Peru 2501 E 350th Rd McDonald’s Change Center 2129 4th St
LaSalle Oglesby 5251 Trompeter Rd 4239 Venture Dr Peru
Michael Grabowski, Peru Peru
Coronet of Peru DDS Illinois Valley Surgical William White, DDS
3705 Frontage Rd 2200 Marquette Rd #107 Associates McDonald’s Quad City Prosthetics 225 Gooding St
Peru Peru 920 West St #118 115 N Lewis Ave 2200 Marquette Rd #112 LaSalle
Peru Oglesby Peru
De Angelo’s Hair Grosenbach’s Auto To get Gist Weekly delivered to
Styling Repair JJ’s Metropolis Salon Patrice your business for free each week or
407 5th St 301 N Columbia Ave 154 3rd St 821 1st St 1525 Peoria St to correct an address, send an email
Peru Oglesby LaSalle LaSalle Peru to distribution@gistweekly.com.
Page 8 GIST Weekly December 3, 2008

Coming Next Week Paper or Plastic?

in Gist Weekly: Neither!
• The Nobel Prizes will be awarded on December 10, the same
day that issue #3 comes out, so Gist Weekly looks at some
past Nobel laureates.
• In Birthdays, a rapper/actor turns 35 and a First Lady would
be 190.
• What do Babe Ruth, Dale Earnhardt, and Thomas Jefferson
have in common? The number three, subject of next week’s
By the Numbers.
• This Week in History looks at a human rights milestone and
other historical events that took place between December 10
and December 16.
• Plus the usual assortment of puzzles and games, including a
crossword, sudoku, scavenger hunt, and more. Bring your own Eco-Bags String Bags made
with 100% cotton!
Look for Issue #3 on December 10, or get it •Eco-friendly gift bag
delivered to your email by going to •Expands to hold up to 40 pounds
www.gistweekly.com/subscribe! •Available in four colors:Natural, Red, Green, and Mango
Only $5.00 each with free shipping while supplies last.
All planned upcoming features are tentative and subject to change. Call Jamie at (815) 368-3283. No calls after 8:00pm please.

Game and Quiz Answers

—CROSSWORD PUZZLE—
—TRIVIA QUIZ— Solution
—WORD SEARCH— —MATCH UP—
Solution
Answers Answers

Dauphin—France
1. 1992 Herzog—Germany
2. “A banana” Khan—Mongolia
3. Nermal Maharaja—India
Shah—Persia/Iran
4. Iomega Zip
5. Castor and Pollux
6. Michael Bay

—SUDOKU—
—NONOGRAM— Solution
Solution
—MAZE—
Solution

Please recycle this paper or pass

it on to a friend when you are
done with it.