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Morons from lnner SPace?

a critical look at


channeled communications by Phil Hine a couple of displaced Gods and. at least one Oifpnin. But whilst the Spiritualist mediums did the

They The new gurus of the eighties are so relaxed' but it's okay you know? Californian smell of big money So perfection. Healthy suntans and capped-teeth smiles'

it hurts your eyes to look at them' The channelers' pop psychology Well-fed children of the New Age, hip to message you wanrt to hear most' and spinning out the Red indian Cosmic tove, heatth and happiness' Forget

gets you a Shamans, EST and designer drugs' Channeling No fuss, no mess' no danger' It's direct line to the Gods.

happened to tabie-rapping bit to try and contact whoever say that they are Ue passing on ttre astral, the channelers the .otrtu.t Jay the entities. The higher beings pop into and blips back to channelers tody, delivers its message, air of from whence it came, leaving the channeler with an '' now-what-did-I-miss-folks " serenity'

for ihe perfect plug-in religion' Squeaky-clean Voodoo yuppies. you can Make no mistake, the New Age is great when that profits from cash in on crystals' It's been estimated is-as much as channeling-reiated activity in the U'S'A in' babies!) Seems I want S+OO tnliion a year.( Wow! version of the if,ing ttuu" *o,r"d well on from the Sixties tune in" it's a case of X"J"ru. Instead of "drop out and

The old saying


"it doesn't matter what you say' it's the *uy yoo say- it" is certainly true of the- channeling
feings is overwhelmingly one of love
harmony' Love all immortal and we can all V""."tAf, be yourself. We -" ile healed by using the power of the New Age cliches jargon' rays, chakras, auras, colours, and pseudoscientific

Th" *"ttuge from

these- cuddly cosmic

ijpu, uO and blank out", ut an

A' welter of impressive terms and meaningless an uncritical catcfrptrrases. Platitudinous pap fed to
eager to believe

enclless stream of

"^r-ur;"tt onrl 1,n" market. There used to be a joke about some

time to see fast-living young stockbroker who never had to do his therapy pr him' his shrini, so tte someone Don't laugh, it's already happening"' At first I thought channeling was just an updated'

therapies and cosmic technologies stream


the reptay of the Spiritualist Medium boom of "t n'ineteenthr"ntu.y.D.D.H-omeremixedasaCD'perhaps? the States The Spiritualist movement also started in new age' f*fr"t" "t"f) in the first stirrings of that-eras' Society' the which also spawned the Theosophical

in a cartoon universe where no no one really one really di"r' no one really gets hurt' Napalm doesn't thinks for themselves and I suppose, you of reatly stickto kids' Rapping with Ramtha will heal become yooi t.ntul troubles, and everything ,will 'gingrr-prorhy' Lazatis may be a higher being' but he executive and comes on like a cross between a corporate wise, he's loving' he's favourite uncle. He's "u"ryon"', talking to you.

A funny thing about those

oi "popotarity gives them

higher beings' their message each new wave stays th; same whenever they appear, but

a new mailing

address' The

everybody's Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn' and Spiritualismfavourite naughty dading, Aleister Crowley' "u Any group of guu" p.opr. dir"rt tiJe to the beyond' put out the cat' turn ieopr" wiro knew a medium could io*n the lights and receive messagesfom the other side that would be the saving of humanity'

ipiiii"uristt irai "Masters"' toneO in to vibes beamed out by Tibetan in contact with Al"irr", Crowley claimed to have been the Gods exFa-terrestrials, and by the nineteen-fifties

ttreir Red Indian guides, the Theosophiss

is alive and were using flying saucers to get about' Jesus

At first glance, channeling looks very much the *ito nu*b",

amidst their ranks a sprinkling of


well and living on Venus! Now it's the day of the in J"tpni" Our fu-n-loving flippery friends have the latest


itpttttlu" names such as Ramtha, Mafu and Lazaris' and discarnate


wisdom. Lynn Andrews's latest book Crystal otanetarytrrut a dolphin beaming in dream-visions via a ii"rnu" a channeling Eucalyptus tree. Pr-tty cosmic, huh? Here's message lovingly given by cetaceans:

"The brain has two hemispheres, with different, interconnected functions. The brain of the planet also has two hcmispheres. The neurons of one are composed of human beings. The neurons of the other are composed of cotacean beings, dolphins and whales. It is time for the two hemispheres to work together, in our individual lives and in the life of the planet"
(Tools for Peace - channeled by Andrew Ramer). Douglas Adams eat your heafi out. So long and thanlcs

Channelers seem to lack is that

is very necessary whenever one

of discrimination, which

approaches communications between humans and higher entities, whether they be dolphins, deities, extra-terrestrials or intelligent poodles from Sirius B. Magicians who employ the magical techniques of post-Golden Dawn systems tend, in my experience, to approach the whole area of

inner-plane contacts

skepticism (another quaiity which seems

with a good deal of healthy to be sadly

for all the fish. It's the standard stuff about the Right



new age philosophy). Thelemic magicians

Brain-Left Brain divide that fails to be convincing. Surely if the whales were really hip to what's going on they'd be

into the new brain paradigms - holography

psychoneural monism. It's interosting however, that very often, the fonts of wisdom appear to be endangered

discontinuity. A similar check involves mentally projecting the seal of the A.'.A.'. onto ths entity. The & Aborigines have all cross-examination of entities using symbolism and species. Dolphins, Red Indians, together sulfered extensively at the hands of us well-fed White gematria is also often resorted. Such methods, Asian subcontinent with ritual (or other) techniques help ensure that the folks. We ripped off the wealth of the Like most and then swarmed over there in droves to seek spiritual beings invoked are who they claim'they are. new age bit is the other magicians who go around invoking all manner of enlightenment. Maybe behind all this guilt of the overfed trying not to feel impotcnt while the 'orrible things...sorry, inner-plane adepts.. I've received a world changes around them. That's what is so attractive wirie variety of communications from various entities about the channelers' entities. They don't ask us to do over lhe years. The major difference between me and a hang anything as unattractive as look at what's happening channeler is that I don't think the kind of entities I reality up in ribbons out with are good role models for the new age audience bchind the scenes. No, they wrap and glitter so that life becomes a conlinuously-looping (maybe if I cleaned up my act a bit - who knows?). These communications are only relevant to me and I'm certainly Walt Disney dreamworld.
What seetns to be implicit here is that messages from "higher beings" (whatever their alleged source) are
automatically benign and helpful. Quite a turnabout from the 'fifties, when the aliens brought to us by Hollywood came down out of the skies to ravage, rape our daughters and take over the world for no very good reason. Maybe they've just changed their act. After all, they should know by now that if they come barging in with death rays


often test. the validity of a contact by, pronouncing those fateful words " Do What Thou Wilt Shall be The Whole of Tlte Law", to which the entity makes the suitable rejoinder, or disappears, shrieking, into the nearest astral

not going to offer them up as great cosmic insights. What I do tlemand is that they make sense, if only in terms of what I've been doing recently. Any one can go on about cosmic love, harrnony, beauty and heavy karma (..maan) but it's much more instructive when the message is

blazing we'll just nuke them into radioactive debris. So they've adopted the soft-sell approach - they're going to love us to dcath, 'till we're smothered under a security blanket of bliss. They've also found a message that is attractive - one that says it's ok to have money, a Porsche, etc, and that

in terms of pointers on how to look at a particular issue, problem, or internally-consistent symbolic messages. There does seem to be a kind of cumulative degeneration of the quality of such
communications. Having read quite a wide variety of such stuff recently, tr see a kind of pattern emerging. The initial con[act with an entity can produce some quite startling transmissions - in terms of synthesising information in new ways.Then, as the recipient becomes more and more bound up with the communications, they degenerate in terms of quality of information until one is hearing the kind of cosmic mind-mush which, rhough it sounds good,

spirituality is about loving yourself. Channeled entities witt tett you abopt your wonderful past incarnations in
Lemuria or Atlantis, what you did, who your panner was


and so forth. There is even an element of spiritual sale sex involved, as some Channelers practice a form of psychic energy-sharing using crystals placed over the ttt ttut of Channeler and client. Quick, somebody tell Richard Branson! The higher beings naturally have had a lot to say about AIDS, the message ranging from AIDS being the result of negative karma (?) to an ultimately benign attempt at social engineering. The quality that the

It seems that, the more a person (in terms of ego-involvement) with an entity, identifies
rather obvious. the less original the topics of communication become. Before long the recipient of such messages begins to hail themselves as Priest/Priestess of the "mysteries" revealed exclusively to them, and the foundation of a small cult that is going to save the world shortly follows. All of
which begs the question of just what is going on when we contact these entities? A difficult one, this' How we try

are how we perceptual limitations' Inner-plane entities into chaos' They tend to conceptuallse these windows of make sense ;;;ty ;;;^t indeiendent entities so that we can are usuallv -belief ;;';; incoming dau' Their personalities Hence the ;;*^;*^1, ."paru," .system' party) until^ ,onrurr"nt with the recipient's cocktail on.where vou nlanes (no doubt ut u itu"'-"=nding gpup of ;;; f;.*. of the entities' depending Sirius B' or J"uu"t reassurance to a seat of wisdom is' be it ESYP! mortgages and the il"i.i". itt" Usually' it seems' t""tl'ntit'"0*t heart disease' second some draughry monastery in Tibet' generated as one focuses Dow.Jonesindex.AnufferSkepticmightanswerthatthey might these entities a," aoto,natically but and therefore unreal' A magician ." imagination towards any one vector' "ri1*"ginary th"t" endries do not have a whollv *ill -O en-tities can be generated act of will' so *hil" }rai ;;; o""u.ionaffy People ;bj;il;;istence, they are not fictitiousas a source of ;at*];Q;s$" can be established within which personal -either' still tend to speak oi"tft" imagination il;, ;;i innerworlds can be explored and eventually else' the whole thaiis somehow less ieat than everything into one's psychocosm' At this,point contacts i;r*;; "-p"ri"""" breaks down' as model for examining inner-plane lriint"r"rting -U" iJ;;rh" "reality" of tht t*p"tience f""""0 within William Gibson's novel' these entities are not simply "seiondary personalities" in .--is an one of the major charactershumans ifr" pu,frofogical sense, but constructs w!11-are "yt::::.'. -propertiesa cast of capaclty which manipulates
how we structure meanlng and answer it says more about inner realms' The o'gunisation ".toul is that all these entities Channeler-type answer of course hanging aboutaround the astral beings


Artificial Intelligence do this to further its own ends' To successfully

must to manipulate' It it wishes establish a rapport with those which it Ly gen".urin E constructs - personalities oui of the memories of wears like masks' ttt'i'ing them It explains that it needs rhe humans it wishes io Jontu"r. point of- access - an interface to establish a


of our information-processing it' ini"'ru.ting with that which lies beyond



I feel that this is a question * ;; n*'i ug" Channelers? personal experience' most "Rgain, from ;i ;!g,; who make use of magicians I have encountered going beyond
part contacts are doing so as


human beings.


in abyss repeatedly over it' sifiing for insighs of it brought very much to mind accounts new age channelers "*r"fttt cin te tther hand' the Reading this a sentence in Dion ;;;;y;; equivalent rhan the human-entity contacts' Pariicularly ;; ; want nothing more pacifier. Itspiritualthough they is^as Cosmic Doctrine' which reads: rotion"'t Tte it is a waste of time "i."'"_ov_navoured-infanr lnformation "from outside the are channeling not so much "What we are you cannot realise and from within it imagine (italics.mine) us on human knowledge-pool, but very much but you can


of normatity; of

finding ay pushing

;" il;


do so

;;;;th;;;; ;i";t;nnt ;f

not real or tr,ougtr vour.mental lit'Yl" is and actual"' act;I, the results of it are real of inner-plane contacts Dion For$ne made extensive use in his her magical ideas' Alan Richardson'

your phne and we can contact you through

,tr"":'itigrt.-uutio,ity" control programs .a materialism and a n""O of"u mysticism which embraces of the world' Strip view bland, "I'm Ok - so there!" Eastern therapol jargon and. the O]tlt"U *"


culture in



various historical

Dion Foftune' Priestess' discusses the in figures that Fortune claimed to be

contactwith.Themostinterestingentityisone..David Fortune'. was a young Carsons", whom according to the first world war. British officer who was riuJo ouring biographical information Foftune provided a good deal of

escape route that il;;;.tcam of the Si=ave-Gods' An not involve risking or leads nowhere, because it does its attraction for those who challenging the ego' Hence gurus',Let's face it' the world need to follow creeds and old adept in daunting plice' If

and the

nt* ig" consciousness

is revealed


;;;;t"nt iti" ft; ii"ioun


research' Alan conceming Carsons, -a ut'"t thorough did not exist! Rather' it Richardson states thai Carsons model' a ;;;;;, t'e *as actualv, in terms of the above Fofiune's out of Dion ;;;il;; a personatitv generated 'and experiences' and hence an ;;il;;r"l' magick

.some.lvise that "life" tord volt endless round of Dynasty-style on dte astral ptane was an for a course in Asral parties, wouldn't you-irr' signing up

coriint lookalike

interfaceforaccessmg-information.Ifyouimaginethe a and knowledge as sum total of your perslonat memories - then to extend vour ;il;;;;1pu." -' the unknown a window must be ffi;;; oi inror*ution it it as though be

or raw data' can created, through which the unknown' ttt" is meaningful in terms of translated into informati""