1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea. 2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn t lifting himself up.

He is pushing the earth down. 3. There is no such thing as evolution, it s just a list of creatures that Rajinik anth allowed to live. 4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile. 5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero. 6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it s cover. 7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish. 8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. 9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs. 10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door. 11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today calle d giraffes. 12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald s, and got it. 13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards. 14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off. 15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain. 16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone. 17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry. 18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the ele ment of surprise. 19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes. 20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice. 21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013. 22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day. 23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost. 24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano. 25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear. 26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved. 27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.

28. Rajinikanth doesn t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection. 29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chenn ai. 30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book. 31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a d ish best served cold. 32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that s why there are no signs of life th ere. 33. Rajinikanth doesn t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Ra jinikanth. 34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria s secret. 35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it. 36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai. 37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird. 38. Google won t find Rajinikanth because you don t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth fi nds you. 39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars. 40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep. 41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good resa. 42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man. 43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray. 44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac. 45. Rajinikanth puts the laughter in manslaughter. 46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge. 47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth. 48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille. 49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks. or else . The result? Mother Te

50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks. 51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name. 52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did. 53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result e internet. He was reduced to a joke on th

54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now er adicated.

55. Rajinikanth s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fool s Rajanikanth. 56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his ow n rage. 57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The o ther guy just disintegrated. Resonance. 58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost. 59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. 60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself. 61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows. 62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. 63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost. 64. Rajinikant doesn t wear a watch. He decides what time it is. 65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds. 66. When you say no one is perfect , Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult. 67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to k ill you, including the room itself. 68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the diction ary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born. 69. The statement nobody can cheat death , is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajn i cheats and fools death everyday. 70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn t know, he shoots the bulle t and directs it the day he finds out. 71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin. 72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want. 73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth. 74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that s when the tsunami occu rred in the Indian ocean. 75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet . 76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon 77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call. 78. Rajinikanth doesn t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the talle st building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates. HoneyMoon.

79. Rajinikanth s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury s. 80. Rajinikanth doesn t shower. He only takes blood baths. 81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth. 82. The quickest way to a man s heart is with Rajinikanth s fist. 83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way. 84. Rajinikanth s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the r esult of a morning jog. 85. Rajinikant doesn t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nin e faint out of fear. 86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1 236. It defined victim as one who has encountered Rajinikant . 87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so b rought the sun closer to heat the earth up. 88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth obra died. leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the c

89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game Hide n seek , as no one can hide from Raji nikanth. 90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an actio n, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction. 91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world. 92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Ra jinikanth is on. 93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajin ikanth. 94. If at first you don t succeed, you re not Rajinikanth. 95. Rajinikanth s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors. 96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. 97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy. 98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. 99. Rajinikanth s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. 100. When Rajnikanth shows you the finger, he s telling you how many seconds you h ave to live . 101. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth a nd that you will be handicapped if you park there.

B Naveen Raja October 25, 2010 at 12:41 am Rajni is the God of Indian cinema. Intel s new tag line . RAJNIKANT INSIDE!!!! Rajnikanth farted and from then the fart is known as Rajnigandha After 20 years ROBOTS will make a movie RAJNIKANT ..

why does rajnikanth wear goggles ????so that the sun does not get burnt !!!! Death once had a near Rajnikant experience..! Ek baar DAYA darwaja todne gaya, but life me pehli baar darwaja nai tuta. . . An der se awaaj aayi. . YE RAJNIKANT KA GHAR HAI! If Rajnikanth would have born 100 years back, British would have fought to get i ndependence Rajni can f*** Gajini REPLY 2 parash November 23, 2011 at 11:12 pm f**kin a*sh*le ..fool .idiot .fools and a*sh*les love rajinikanth .. REPLY 3 Kaushik October 28, 2010 at 6:20 am why Newton committed suicide .. Once, Newton had come to India and he had watched a few Tamil movies that had hi s head spinning. Here is how he was convinced that all his logic and laws in phy sics were just a huge pile of junk . In the movie of Rajnikant, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went pa ranoid. Here are a few scenes: 1) Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant! 2) In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has a g un but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The kni fe cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one. 3) Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for t he gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang the gangster dies This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided t o go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought t

hat at least one movie would follow his theory of physics!! The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn t changed. Oops, not so fast! The climax finally arrives.

Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall . So high that Rajnikant can t jump even if he tries like one of those superman te chniques that our heroes normally use. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the vil lain because it s the climax. (Newton is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second g un and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off an d the villain is dead. Newton finally commits suicide REPLY 4 Sandip October 29, 2010 at 12:21 am Rajni Mania Rajnikanth was bragging to Amitabh Bachan one day, You know, I know eve ryone. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. Tired of his boasting, Amitab h Bachan called his bluff, OK, Rajini how about Tom Cruise? Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it Rajini said.

So Rajini and Amitabh Bachan fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise s door, And sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts : Thalaiva! Great to see you! You And your fri ends come right in and join me for lunch! Although impressed, Amitabh Bachan is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise s ho use, he tells Rajini that he thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was Just lucky. No, no, just name anyone else Rajini says President Obama , Amitabh Bachan quickly retorts Yes , Rajini says, I know him.

And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Rajini on the tour and motions him, saying, : Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let s have a cup of coffee first and catch up . Well, Amitabh Bachan is much shaken by now, but still not totally onvinced. Afte r they leave the White House grounds, he implores him to name anyone else. The Pope, Amitabh Bachan replies Sure! says Rajini, My folks are from Italy and I ve known the Pope a long time .

Rajini and Amitabh Bachan are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when R ajini says, This will never work. I can t catch the Pope s eye among all these people . Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I ll come ou t on the balcony with the Pope.

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.. Sure enough, half a n hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Amitabh Bachan has had a heart att ack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to Amitabh Bachan s side, Rajini asks him, What happened? Amitabh Bachan looks up and says, I was doing fine until u and the pope came out on the balcony and the Italian man next to me said, Who s that on the balcony with Rajini? REPLY 5 XOXO October 29, 2010 at 9:16 am Facebook founder Mark Zukerberg was hospatilised???? Bcoz Rajnikant poked him on Facebook REPLY 6 LOL October 29, 2010 at 9:19 am Breaking News:its official now .The missing piece of The Apple logo was eaten by Rajnikanth!!!! REPLY 7 Monodip October 29, 2010 at 9:21 am Paul the Octopus was asked to predict Rajni s death, Paul died yesterday. REPLY 8 Enna Rascala October 29, 2010 at 9:26 am what dose god says when he is astonished.. - OMR (OH MY RAJNIKANTH!!!) REPLY 9 Prakash October 29, 2010 at 12:09 pm A 22 wheeler Tata Truck Once Crashed 2 Rajnikant. . . . . . Now, Its Called Tata Nano! ************************ Rajni Rajni,

Yes Papa ! Eating Sugar, No Papa ! Telling Lies, No Papa ! Open Ur Mouth, Yenna Rascalla Mind It !!! *************************** Once Dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikanth and refused to pay him back . That was the last time anyone saw dinosaurs ***************************** Rajnikanth doesnt need a debugger. He simply stares at the code and the bug conf esses . ***************************** Email ID of Rajnikant- gmail@rajnikant.com REPLY 10 HARI BABU . A October 30, 2010 at 11:56 pm Vanakkam sir, please listen me for 5 minutes. I already send letters by fax and by regd.post f or an appointment to tell about the story. please ( TELUGU ) NAA KATHA THO NUTHA NA SAKAM ARAMBHAMOUTHUNDHI. Now I am in KOLKATA . I saw your ROBOT in hindi in k olkata. it was superb.but ( TELUGU ) CHINNA VELITHI VIGNANAM VINODAM THO KADUPU NINDINDI, KAANI, AAKALI THEERALEDU SIR. DAYATHO MIMMALNI KALISE ADHRUSTAM KALPIN CHANDI. NAA KATHA VINANDI. IDHI MEE KOSAM NAA KOSAM KAADU SIR. SAMAJAM KOSAM.SIR . I shall be waitng for your reply/ appointment sir. Hari BABU.A ( Govt. Servant ) Kolkata. E- mail id. babu_smooth@2007yahoo.com In my next mail I will inform YOU about the TITLE REPLY 11 Augustine November 3, 2010 at 4:24 am Rajnikant can laugh with his lips!!! Rajnikant loves to swim in lava! Rajnikant use to iron his shirt after wearing it!!! REPLY 12 shaggyvanderwaals November 22, 2010 at 6:21 am Lays. Only Rajinikant can eat just one. REPLY 13 Satish November 23, 2010 at 8:47 am If you spell Rajanikant wrong on Google it doesn t say, imply replies, Run while you still have the chance. REPLY 14 Pallab November 23, 2010 at 8:48 am Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced! Did you mean Rajinikanth? It s

REPLY 15 kt November 26, 2010 at 1:32 am michael jordon to rajnikanth-i can spin the b.ball on my fingrzz 4 two hrzzz, wh t can u do?? Rajnikanth-yenna rascala, how do u think the earth spinzzzzzz? REPLY 16 JokesPrank.Com December 3, 2010 at 8:10 pm Finally Pappu ke pass hone ka raaz khul gaya . Teachers usey fail kar hi nahi paye because his every answer started with . . . . . . . . A. According to Rajnikant . blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah RAJNI adopted.. two elephants two camels and two horses from zoo.. do u know why??? to play chess !!!

?1bar chand pe 1Makkhi dikhai di NASA k officers khus ho gaye Ye, LIFE ON MOON LIFE ON MOON Baad Me pata chala RAJNIKANT patang uda rha tha Breaking news Recently, there was a power failure in different parts of the coun try due to excessive load on the grids. On investigation it was revealed that Ra jnikant was charging his phone. Since one could not say ne thing to Rajni, it wa s decided by GOI that a nuclear power plant shall be built in chennai for this s pecific purpose Baarish hui aur bheeg gaye hum.. wah wah

Baarish hui aur bheeg gaye hum wah wah Aage kya hua? Hona kya tha, Rajinikant ne phoonk mari, Aur sukh gaye hum!! REPLY 17 Vinay36 December 26, 2010 at 2:42 pm Earlier Rajnikanth used to use a tooth powder for his teeth to be strong, now that powder is called AMBUJA CEMENT REPLY 18 Dhurjoti March 21, 2011 at 8:48 am Breaking News: Why Japan is hit by Tsunami and Earthquake bcoz . . Rajnikant lost his mobile in Japan and it was in Vibrate mode. REPLY 19 Teenesh March 26, 2011 at 5:04 am Once Ranjnikanth ordered a plate of idli in mcdonlds but MR.McD refused to give it to him . . . Since that day MR. Mcd sits outside his own restaurant. REPLY 20 Abahan April 20, 2011 at 3:17 am Rajnikant celebrated diwali only twice in his lifetime. This two occasions are known as World War 1' & World War 2' !! ***** India actually didn t have 50,000 crores for organizing the Commonwealth games Rajn ikanth gave it to them! ***** Once Rajnikant purchased a ROAD-ROLLER . Do u know why . . . . To IRON his clothes REPLY 21 Iqbal April 29, 2011 at 2:18 am Girl-Kya tum mere aashiq ho? Boy-Haan Girl-To fir mere liye chaan, taare lao Boy-Tera Aashiq hu, Rajnikant ka beta nahi REPLY .

22 Arijit April 30, 2011 at 2:11 am Once Rajnikanth participated in 100 mtrs race. Obvious he won but, Einstein Died after watching his race because . . . . . . . . Light came second !! REPLY 23 Raja April 30, 2011 at 2:25 am once there was a massive accident between a cycle and a train. The train was des tructed.Why??? . . . . . . . . Coz RAJANIKANTH was Sitting on the cycle *** Friends after 100 years Guess wat will b d years called? . . .. . . A.R. and B.R. (After RajiniKanth and Before RajiniKanth) *** twitter following rajanikant *** very few ppl knw tht the filming of jurassic park was done in Rajnikanths underw ear *** Once Rajnikant and a small girl were playing cards. Rajni loses the game inspite having 3 ACES. Why?? Because The girl had 3 RAJNIKANTS *** Rajnikanth s dog house has a signboard on it saying. . . . . . . . . ikant!! *** Beware of Rajn

the flim ***

anaconda was shot inside rajnikantha s pant

Santa Banta committed suicide in fear of loosing ,after they came to know that R ajani sir has joined the joke race *** Santa Banta, C.I.D. Team & Rajnikant were walking through a desert, Suddenly, ou t of nowhere, they see a huge sandstrom coming, Santa: Oye Banta, tufaan! Banta: Santa, apun toh marenge ab! ACP Pradyuman: Daya jara Pata lagao ye hamare rasste mein rukawat ayi to ayi kah a se? Daya: Sir, na yaha darwaza hai jisse todke hum bhaag sake na tufaan ko mein thap pad maar sakta hu . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . RAJNIKANT: Sorry for Sneezing *** Once while sleeping rajni was uttering some numbers. the collection, today is kn own as log table! REPLY 24 gazibo May 18, 2011 at 8:21 am A frustrated message from Rajnikant to all Saalo ek limit hoti hai . yeh kaun likh raha hai ki Ranjikant tatti khata hai aur piche se roti nikalti hai??? REPLY 25 kunga June 17, 2011 at 3:01 am if it is all about rajnikanth,, then, I heard that the man behind the death of Osama Bin Laden is Rajnikanth!!!!!!!! thats why the missson was kept secret!!!!!!!!! REPLY

26 Tahir June 21, 2011 at 11:00 am Rajinikant can say M without his lips touching REPLY 27 Sancho August 10, 2011 at 6:38 am Santa ne 1 Question Pucha aur Ranjnikant Behoshhhhh !!! Question- BLACK is colour , WHITE is also Colour But BLACK&WHITE TV is not Colour TV Why .? REPLY 28 fraser October 7, 2011 at 8:00 am rajnikant na khaya ek supari rajnikant nay rakh diya uska naam rajnigandha . REPLY 29 Chill Pill October 14, 2011 at 10:33 am // Rajnikant Jokes // Rajnikanth Jokes // Rajni Jokes // Super duper collection of my Rajnikant jokes . When Rajnikant was studying in 3rd std .some1 stole his rough note .& Now they call it as .Wikipedia

======================================== When Rajnikant was a Student!!! Teachers use to Bunk the classes!!! ======================================== Rajnikant started college. All students were confused while taking admission bec ause name of college is Rajnikant s Medical College of Engineering for Commerce . ======================================== THE MOST NEGLECTED FACT OF THE ENTIRE DECADE!!!! Sachin Tendulkar s mothers name is RAJNI Tendulkar And his coach s name is ramaKANT Is there a need to say anything beyond this??? ======================================== Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking He solved all 150 and wrote, Solve any 100 questions

Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!

========================================

One day Rajani thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play. ======================================== Rajnikanth s next project is the Titanic in Tamil. However, Rajni has twisted the climax. Both the lead actors survive. Rajni swims across the Atlantic Ocean with the heroine in one hand and The Titanic in the other ======================================== Who says the world will be destroyed in Dec 2012..Rajnikant just bought a Laptop with three years warranty ======================================== Rajni can walk faster than light. Rajni cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be changed from one form to ano ther . ======================================== Law of Conservation of Rajni All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating? Ans: Dosa mind it!!! ======================================== Once a photo of Rajnikant was given for Xerox. Don t even try to guess what happen ed. We got two copies of the Xerox machine. ======================================== One more: Once upon a time Rajnikant used Tooth Powder to get strong teeth today that powder is known as AMBUJA CEMENT REPLY 30 riya October 16, 2011 at 1:08 am Rajnikanth farted and from then the fart is known as Rajnigandha After 20 years ROBOTS will make a movie RAJNIKANT ..

why does rajnikanth wear goggles ????so that the sun does not get burnt !!!! REPLY 31 riya October 16, 2011 at 1:11 am hahahahhahah

rajini is indian chuck norries , i want google also do something of rajini like they have a joke for norries like where is chuck norries REPLY 32 ookra@ love sms November 9, 2011 at 11:03 am Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradic ated ha,ha,ha.. Funny LoL.. REPLY Leave a Comment Name * E-mail * Website