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Have you ever seen someone you thought looked amazing. You see them from afar and you dream of being with them. You cant wait to meet them. They cross the room, your eyes meet and you fall in love. A transition has occurred. A relationship went from POTENTIAL to ACTIVE. So we go back to the question of what are the most important transitions for human beings: in my opinion they are the transitions that occur in the relationships of our lives. But unlike basketball we are not always aware that transitions are occurring in our relationships because there are transitions within transitions. Relationships dont always go from ACTIVE to DEAD. There is a DYING process, sometimes lengthy and sometimes short. And there are mini transitions to go from ACTIVE to DYING and DYING to DEAD.
THE 8 SPECTRUMS OF TRUST MAP The first map published in the Agoras first edition was the 8 Spectrums of Trust Map. Within the Inflow Matrix Communication system (The macro context of all of the maps) there are hundreds of maps. When you build a holistic system it means whole. You cannot digest or understand any whole system. Its too much information. So you have to start somewhere and there are any possible number of entry points. It seemed logical to start with Trust.
Knowing for yourself a conscious process to identify what state you are in regarding one or all of your relationships is an exceedingly important thing. Because most of us can be very unconscious regarding the state of our relationships, our relationships suffer. Whether it is in our business, social, volunteer, friendship, family,or intimate relationships (the next map) the more conscious we are of what state we are in, will really help to determine what 091120 1621 Elijah Ignatieff www.theschoolofconsciouscommunication.com 5
TRANSITION FROM POTENTIAL to PROBATIONARY There are many ways to activate a relationship from POTENTIAL to PROBATIONARY. A good idea is to look at all your lessons from the past and the errors you have made and to be clear about your boundaries and what you expect and dont want in the relationship. Let them know they are now moving from POTENTIALl to PROBATIONARY and what that means. Take them through a process where both sides know exactly what is occurring and dont be afraid to state the obvious and make sure you are totally on the same page. I have found that the identification of these transitions and states have come through my making the same errors over and over again in my communications. I have many patterns of jumping into something too quickly and expecting certain things to happen when I have not been clear about what it is we are jumping into. At some point you have to document exactly what it is. PROBATIONARY RELATIONSHIPS PROBATIONARY status is essentially a transition from 091120 1621 Elijah Ignatieff www.theschoolofconsciouscommunication.com 9
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THE TRANSITION FROM INACTIVE TO DYING If you dont deal well with an INACTIVE relationship, or use a wrong remedy, then a relationship can move from INACTIVE to DYING quite quickly. You may never notice the movement because you didnt notice their signals to you and the person decides never to participate with you again. Not for any great reason but a slow erosion of the desire to participate. TRANSITION FROM DYING TO DEAD How do we let go of things when we know they are about to die? It might be someone is actually dying. Or maybe it is an old boyfriend that you finally cut all ties with you and never want to see them again. Somewhere within us we have to accept the inevitable and get on with our own lives. It may occur after the person or relationship dies or during the process of watching it go from DYING to DEAD. Most of the time we deal with it after the fact. This process is generally known as grieving. TRANSITION FROM DYING TO PROBATIONARY Certain relationships can be saved if they are not moved from DYING to ACTIVE or INACTIVE or from DYING to DEAD. They can move from DYING to PROBATIONARY. You have a formal process to do so to see if the person can do whatever is necessary to make the relationship ACTIVE again. In business it might be certain goals to reach to see if their performance can reach the necessary requirements.
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CONCLUSION What looks like a simple map can contain a lot of information about the human experience. Each one of these transitions and states has a huge amount of experience connected to it in your own life and the lives of those you connect with. By using the map to make clear the distinctions how you move from one relationship state to another it is hoped that we can all improve our relationships and make this world and our lives that much more fulfilling.
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