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Things to Keep in Mind: there's a minute segment sticking

out of the half circle, depicting the


• Never use the word this as a motif of looking for an answer.
pronoun. EVER. It is an adjective. There's also a dot at the bottom,
You will respect that. showing finality of an idea, which
• You may be able to connect just is the goal of said symbol. Here, it
about anything to Waiting for is used to depict the character's
Godot. confusion at what is going on,
• Unlike other classes, in English, showing consternation towards the
notes require effort and are, at all main idea, of what is, in fact, up.
times, COPIUS. • Be prepared to dance, act,
• David Shou will always get five choreograph, sing, play an
percent higher than you. Even if instrument, mime, memorize, and
you get a hundred percent. Even if think. This is a chance to do some
he hasn’t done the assignment. of the things you don’t often do in
other classes.
• The above applies for Sairam as
well. Even though they will not be • If you have English first period,
taking this class by the time you Ms. Gaylor will give you some
read this pamphlet, Sairam and extra time to sleep before class. If
David will still receive A’s through you are in another period, don’t
Ed-Line fret, you can just sleep during
• Sometimes, you will read poems class. (Probably an aftereffect of
the aforementioned IB method)
about horrific murders, child
beatings, uxoricides*, and Scottish • If you are assigned a graphic
women wailing, and they will organizer, it is in your best
make sense. interests to complete it. As in, if
you do not complete it, you will
• During the year, you will have at
fail the in-class essay.
least two sudden changes in a
Horrendously.
situation, where, upon referring to An indispensable pamphlet on the
these as “peripetias,” your non-IB • Sometimes, you will find yourself
necessities called upon by those who
friends will look at you with making connections to seemingly attend this most crucial class over the
bewildered incredulity. unrelated things like the history of course of their freshman year to broaden
• You begin to closely (over)analyze the Pueblo Indians or Pokémon. and extend, lengthen and widen, increase
You will find that the deeper and and enhance their knowledge of the
everyday things, to the
farther you go with your English language and their familiarity
unhappiness of your comrades.
comparison, the better you with great works of literature, and how
For example, in a standard IM
understand the analysis you are to deal with it.
conversation:
making. -- Darles Chickens
<Screen name censored>: What’s
up? • William Shakespeare was a dirty
theimusicman: Not much. old man. In his story, Romeo and
<Screen name censored>: ? Juliet, there will be sexual
theimusicman: That's a question references and innuendos in
mark. ANALYSIS: The question almost every passage. If you miss
mark is an oft-used symbol of them, beware. They will be
curiosity and intuitiveness. explained. In detail. GREAT detail.
It is composed of a half circle, as if • Through all you of what you
to say, “I'm not so sure. I lost the undergo over the course of the
* Uxoricide
otheris half.”
defined as the killing of one’s wife (possibly
But year, English is one of the most
with her hair)
entertaining, insightful, and
5 6
interesting classes. You will have 1
to work, but deal with it.
How To Work Like an IB Student Baseball, Softball, Multiball, brag about your achievement
French Honors Society, to your friends later that day.
So you have a paper to do in Spanish Honors Society, Go back and check your
English that will drastically affect British Honors Society, and assignment.
your grade, your future, your utter the bus ride back home to the 21. Make sure it is formatted
and total self esteem? Well, here’s outskirts of Montgomery correctly, as in Arial or Times
what you would do to work like a County where you no doubt New Roman, (so that it is
true IB student: live. You get down three stairs legible, thus subject to
1. Realize you have a paper to do and, subsequently, fall grades),
in English that will drastically asleep.
affect your grade, your future, 13.Wake up, yet again. with the lines double spaced,
your utter and total self esteem. 14. Realize it’s twelve o’clock. IN So that the
2. Realize that it’s ten o’clock. At THE MORNING. and in size 12 font (to make the all
night. 15. Cry a little.
teacher
the readers can
squint)
3. Realize that you’re out of coffee. 16. Resolve never to leave 22.Catch the bus. Bring coffee.
4. Freak out. something this late again; tell Bring lots.
Alright, we seem to be heading on yourself you should have
a good course. Thank god you never procrastinated.
acted like a good IB student and 17. Finish the concluding
procrastinated until the last paragraph; forget to
minute! Now, let’s start this thing. proofread.
5. Get on the computer and start 18. Check Facebook for any
up Word. Write your heading updates your similarly
and a creative title, such as situated friends may have
“Essay.” made. For example, “Nick is
This is going well! finally done with the TOTC
6. Fall asleep. essay. He hopes that he gave
Darn it. Thank god you have alarm enough support for his second
clocks set to every hour situated body paragraph, as his
around your computer. success was minimal the last
7. Wake up. time,” “Josh is proud of his
8. Realize that it’s eleven o’clock. work ethic and is sure that his
At night. interpretation of the symbolic
9. Look at the rubric. meaning of the Odyssey
10.Groan. couldn’t be closer to
11.Grudgingly do the introduction. Homer’s,” or my personal
Gain confidence and do much of favorite, “Caitlin is done.
the body paragraphs. WOOOOOHOO
Now we’re getting somewhere! OOOOOYAAAYYYYYYYYYYY
12. Finish with the body YYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111”
paragraphs. You decide to take 19. Go to sleep. As you fall into
a quick break to get something your slumber, you look at the
to eat, because due to your IB- clock and see that it’s four
ness, you have not had time to thirty.
eat between school, Drama, That’s great. You’re finally done,
2 3 4
Track, right?
20. Wake up. It’s five thirty. You
realize that you got an hour of
sleep. You feel immense pride
and decide to