,.l?:l?

goa

body language
caegory

pratial introdution

mind, body, spirit

. understand the basi prinip|es . learn how to apply the theory . get more from life

ontnt

b wher you Want to be with teah yourself

#,

l-.

g'.

t
5

I i

l ourse|f

ol teah l
}

::=-

yourself

tead

gordon r. wainwright

body language

way, with impressive results. be where you want to be

with

40 mi||ion pople have lear ovr 75o subjets the tea*r youelf

Fr over 60 yes' more

than

tech youelf

ltrodulion Pd 0e
01

ski!ls and lehniqes

eyG GontGt ye grammar

5 6

I
11

o o F} o

uses of ey ontt resrh ito eye o]ltat what our pupils an teah us making better use of your eyes

't3
14

15 16

exerises and experiments

laial expression
the range of expressions fes and first impressions talking with your fae fae fats smile, you'll feel better

18
21

24 25

2
28 29
31

exeriss and experiments

EI

hed moyemenls talking heads

Iistening heds
it depends on how you look at it

34 35

36
37 38 39
41

how to use your hed nod if you Want me to ontinu

exerises and experimets gestu]es ad body mouemenls

let your body do the talking

45 47 49 50
51

09

Morris's gesture maps

propIewathing gesture psyh0logy how to speak body |anguge

exerciss and experiments

05 postle and stano mind-reading through posture l'm the king of the astle

53

55
58 60
61

synhroiza|io tide time and good times and bad times silens and pauss dovetailing in discussions getting a word in edgeways how to use time ffetive|y exercises and expriments
timing nd body languag ad spoken supporting wht is speeh

105
107 108 109
1

10

111

112 114 116

1

10

l'm in|ined to Iike you posture researh

exaggerated posturs

62 64 65 67
71

exrises and experimnts 06 proximity and orientation

sating arragements why do psyhiatrists have ouhes? status, proximity and orientation

said politia| body |anguge

ontrditing what is parl two
11

errors

said

languag

19

120 120 120 123 123

74 75 75 78 79
81

don't ome any |oser making interation easier exerises and eperiments
n7

b0d.ly c0ntct
bodily ontat and touhing

you exerises and experiments Gonlexts body lguag loud the wor|d uItura| differenes non-verb| universals negotiating styles busiess as usual
faugh and the world laughs with what to do when you an't speak the language

125
126 128
130
131

132
134 134 136
138 141

86 88 89 90
91

you need hands

hugging and kissing

exerises and experiments

12

don't push
better bodily ontat

body laguge t wo]k oupational body |anguage

the effetive use of metings attitudes to workmates the BL of idustri| r|ations motivating others team building

exerises and expriments 08 apea]ance nd physique first imprssios you've gotta have style sorting the men from the women
body shape and size peopIe hange

92 93 95 97 98 99
't01

142
143

143
143

exeriss nd experimets
13

144 146
148 149

everyday eGouto1s
the first five minutes

improving your image exeriss and experiments

102
103

opening nd losing onverstions

how to spot a liar

150
151

smalltalk
exerises and experiments 14 personal att]aGti0
boy mets gir| take your partners getting on with peopl str quality how to be more attrtiv exerises and expriments 15

'l tl
-l

153

155
159 16'l

162

12
164 165

personal development establishing rapport seIFdislosure

interative skiIls

167
't69

170
171 172

In this book you will larn a languag whih everybody knows a|read. This is th languag of the body. vry tim re talk to somone lse th body supplments rhat we say with dozns of

small gesturs' ey movmnts, hanges in posture and faial

.spak' it mor fftivly. wiil not Prvnt you from learning to Hn th rason for this ook.

xprsiion. The fat that everybody knows this languag a|read

synergy rording body language exerises and experiments onlsion further reading index

173 173 176 179

ost pople do not rea|ize just how muh thy use this

182

unspokn languag every time thy ommuniat with anothr prson. They us it unonsiously. And so do yu. It may b that you' too' do not rca|ize it is possibl to us bdy languag more ffetivly. This ook will prov othrrlyis. If you rad it arfully and put its guidan into pratie, espially through th xerises and xperimnts it ontains, you will find yourslf boming mor skilld in the us of ody language. And also mor skilled in understanding othr popl's us of it.
rsarh In th last 20 ears, a gteat dal of .Workrshas bn arrid out

o L g o 1+ o
TI

1+

in

from the various non-vrbal ommuniation. disiplines of psyhology, soiology, anthropology and linguistis hav studid ispts of human ehaviour that appear to hav a
ommuniativ funtion.
sprung up

- kinesis, proxemis and paralinguistis, for instan to provid umbrllas undr rhih various kinds of resarh -hav n undrtakn. The rsult is that we now know a good dal mor than w did about human interation at th miro levl. In many ass' what was intuitivly flt to ue on th asis of ommon sns has bn onfirmd, but in othrs it has not. Th purpos here is to xplor this rapidly dvloping fild pratial to disover what has bn learnd and to assss th .W hav impliations and appliations of this new knowledg.

numr

of

subdisiplins have

tndd in th past to view ommuniation twn popl as exlusively a mattr of using languag. It is tim w took "i"'tsrious aount of th impaf non-vral fators in faemor to-fae interation.

This ook sts out to xplain what is known from rsarh fi',di''g' about th skills and thniqus f body lnguag suh as oiily ontat' proximity, orintatin, faial xpssions, ..'-u.'"l aspt; of sphl and so on. It xamins how this

for vidn of the xistn of a ody language with strit rules like spokn languages, so far without suss. Howver, as we shall s, thr ar som indiations that ertain gsturs in rtain ulturs hav quite spifi and fixd manings and a numbr of gstur languags do exist, suh as thos usd y daf peopl, ut thr are many and ovious diffrns btwen ihJ and th way gsturs ar usd in normal vryday life.

knowldg is applid in varity f ontxts nd also how it may ano to itt.' fft. Th rmaindr of this introdution will,.rfor' outlin rifly, ut in a littl mor detail than is posiil in a tabl of ontnts, th-topis that you an xpt to 'nountr latr. Hopfully, this will lp to onvin you that. it *i . worth yo.,' hil..io persver ith your rading of th book and perhaps also t partiipat in som ot th pra.tral

Chapter 5 xamins th role of psture and stan in body languag. Until rntly this was thought to b an area more suitd treatmnt in manuals of tiqutt and dportment, ut it is now bing takn mor sriously as an aspt of bhaviour whih an be iih in usful nn-vral signals. Posture an, for instan, be a good indiator of an individual's state of mind at th time at whih ommuniation is taking pla.
In haptr 6 w look at proximity and orintation. Lik posture'

."*.i'.'a'.d *p'im"''t',,hi.h

haptr. In th us of bdy language, as in many other filds, at i.".1 u. muh may larnd fiom doing as from rading.1bot what othrs do. ut th main hop in providing this outlin i9 that. by th tim you rah th end of this introdution, you will .body languag', |tav a.c|earer ida of what is mant by th trm

a? suggstd at th nd of ah

orintJtion an tll us a good dal about individuals' attitudes both to thos with whorn thy r ommuniating and to th

natur' sujt and stting of the ommuniation. The onpt of persnal spa is explord, togthr rith trritoriality in human.
dfnsibl spae and its prsonal and soial importane.

haviour. Ther is also a brif disussion of the onpt of hptr 7 dea|s with body ontat and touhing. The main distintion that is mad twn these two is on of intnt, for th formr arries th impliation of aidental touhing and th
latter implies a dlibrat at. But th diffrne is not a rigid on and it is perhaps only possile to distinguish th two on th basis of whih part of the body is doing th touhing; touhing implis that th hands are being used to mak th ontat.

inluds and also, from thir what kinds of hviur what kinds of bhaviour itis not mant to inlud. omission,
y ontat and dirion

it

of non-vrbal ornmuniatiJn w possess. y ntat maintained a fration of a- seond longer an th-individual lokd at onsidrs aDDroDriat a lad to a ration of physial aggrssion r, in ,"th' ontxt. takn as an indiatin of sxual attration. .W hav t be arful what we are ding with our ys.
T;y

;';

arguably th moit potnt mans

ol

gaz ar onsidrd in haptr. 1.

Chaptr 2 dals with fial prssions, inluding smiling. Th t i' on of th fw univisals in body languag, as is the .ybrow flash' of reognition and grting. our faes may.nt b our frtuns'-but they arertainly wher some of th ""u. po'".'ful non-vrbal signals originat.

In Chaptr 8, apparan and physiqu are disussed. Simple hangJ to ths iin hav a signifiant fft upon an individual's
aility to intrat sussfully rith othrs.

haptr 9 onsidrs timing and synhronization as aspets of .Wstern

body language. Th importane of time in

-o't

it an

Had movmnts and had nods, though sitly spaking grsturs' ar onsidrd separatly in hapter 3. Thir r'ol 1n
ioial intration is xplaind and th importan ot had nols
when listning to othrs is disussd.

ommuniation. How well W synhroniz whn talking with oths an also b a major fatot ill sussful interation.

important role

in

ultur-givs

Gsturs and body movmnts provid th foal po|nt.fo1 -"l."' 4. It is in ihis area that a.'y have lookd '.sea'hrs

hapter 10 onsidrs th non-vral aspts of spe!...W.hat we an b onsidra| affected by our us, dlibrat or .rs', .ums', hanges in tone' pith, pa '"y unonsious, of pauss, to name but a few of th featurs that are mor and ant, important than many popl suPPos.

ultural diffrnes in the us of ody languag are th fous of attntion in Chaptr 11. An attempt has bn mad hr to highlight som oth mor unusual, unxpetd and siglifiant diIfrJns, as wll as to xplor th genrl natur f ross. ultural variatins in non-vrbal bhaviour. Chaptr \2 plors th ol of body languag in-oupations
'oh^ frms of ontat othr

as nursing, tahing, tlvision intrviwing, businss and with th publi.

ueryday lif, as vrll as

Chaptr 13 onsidrs its rol in vrious situations nountrd in systmati apprah to ana|zing othr pople,s body language during small talk is suggstd.

in

attempts

to

div thrs.

In Chaptr 1'4, antion moves to th part playd y .bo{v

languag in stablishing and maintaining rlationships with th oppsii sx. It nsidrs hor non-verbal bhviour an b used t6 mak an individual appar mor attrativ with bttr slf. prsntatin and imprssion managmnt.

ounse1ling and th dvlopmnt of intIativr skills. It xamines

haptr 15 onsidrs rol of body languag in prsonal dev1opmnt, with disussion of its rol in suh aras as
hw effeiive us f ody languag an ontriut to personal growth and th xploitation of human dvlopmnt. In addition, ihe rol of ody languag in th dvlopmnt of synergi

rlatiorrs (that is, thos in whih th outom is gratr than th sum of individual inputs) is exploed, togthr with its rol in stalishing rappot' mpathy and a sens f togethrnss. It also suggsts hor non-vrbal bhaviour an b obsrvd and reordd for analysis.
In the onluding hapter w rviw what has ben learnd nd

S)

onsidr the limitations and advantgs of bdy languag as mans of ommuniating. Suggstions for further reading omplet th book and should prv helpful to th radr rho wishs to xplore the subjet further.

o
)

o o

-.

! bgin improving our mastry of body language y loking at th ys and at how thy ar usd in th proess of vryday fato-fa ommuniation. W bgin with the eyes baus thy are th most powerful mans of ommuniation w possss, aftr

words (although sometimes a singl glan an spak volums, as thy say). This powr of th ys is at its gratst' of ours, whn two peopl ar looking at eah othr (whih usually means looking at ah othrs' eyes). This is usually alld mutual gaz of' as We shall all it hr, ey ontat.

o o o o

!hy y ontat should b so powrful is not lear. Svral witrs on non-verbal ommuniation (an ltrnativ and mor aurate trm for body languag) hav spulatd on th possibl rasons. Som hav suggstd that, fom th radle, w find otlrr popl's eyes of omplling intrst and will even respond to sts of irles that look lik ys aus it is throu th ys that we fust hav ontat with othrs. Som hav suggestd our respons to y ontat is instintiv and onntd with asi survival pattrns, in that youngsters who ould sur and retain y ontat' and therfor attntion, stood th bst han of bing fed and of having

thir othr needs satisfid. ors have suggsted that

sifiane of ey onta is larned and that,

as w grow up' We quikly larn not to misbhav if an adult is wathing us or w larn

the

that rtain kinds of look tll us that peopl lik us (or dislike us).

+ g)

In

this chapter you will !eam:

eye ontat and diretion of

o r+

. eye ontact maintained a frction of a seond Ionger

than the individual looked at

gaze are the most potent means of nonverbal ommuni. ation we possess

Whatvr the reasons, th powr of y ontat in ommuniation is lear and w shall giv most of our attntion her to onsidring the forms it taks, th uss it an be put to' and how we an us it mor efftivly. First of all, though, lt us bgin our study of ye ontat with an xris. It will be hlpful, as you rd through this book, if you an find th tim to arry out the simple riss and expriments dsribd. In this Way, you will learn bttr ody language in th sam way you would learn to improv any othr languag. Hre is an ris in eye ontat for you to try as soon as a suitabl opportun prsnts itself. Aftr it, l shall disuss th kind f rsults you might hav exptd. We shall do this in ah haptr so that you vrill hav

considers appropriate an

indiation of soxuaI attration we have to look what we are doing with our oyos.

Iead to a reation of physial aggression or be taken as an

plnty of opportunities to put th instrution offrd into prati. You rill find it hlpful if, as you rrork through this ook, you rord your responss to th xriss in a notebook. Alternatively, if you have a asstte rordr, you may prefr to rord thm on tap. In this way, you will hav somthing to refr to whn you read through th xeris review, rhih follows ah major xris. You will find that this inreass th bnfit you drive from your study of ody language.

Exercise: what are they looking atil Next time you are in a publi place, like a bar or a restaurant,

observe the other peop|e present as disreet|y as you an. Note how they look at each other when they are talking. Note how Iong eah period of eye contat is (no need to time it - just note whether the mutual gIanes are short or |ong). Do they spend al| their time looking at eah other or do they |ook around at the other peopIe present? Do they spend muh time |ooking at objets in the room? How do they reat when someone enters or leaves? What kinds of peopIe look at eah other the most (and |east) when they are ta|king? How do the patterns of eye contat of peopIe sitting side by side differ from those of people sitting opposite eah other? What e|se do you notie about patterns of eye ontat? advisable to abandon them for a while. The reason for this is that peop|e an reat in unpreditab|e ways to being wathed. Some beome embarrassed, some wi|l onsider you some sort of eentri, others may become irritable and even aggressive' You might like to speulate on why this should be so. What is it about being wathed that shou|d be so disturbing? Some of the possible reasons will be suggested in the next setion, but you wi|l find it usefu| to onsider the problem first yourse|f before you read them.

8Youwiprobablynothavebeenondutingthisexerciseformany

Leaving or entering a room tends to attrat attention. Many peopIe who are a little embarrassed about walking alone into a bar or a restaurant tend to forget that this initia| uriosity is typia| and that it wil| ease as soon as someone else enters. hose who are having an intimate, persona| onversation may look at eah other more and for |onger than those who are not. Peop|e sitting opposite eah other wil| disp|ay more eye ontat than those sitting side by side. lf those sitting side by side desire more eye ontat they wil| turn to fae eah other.

lf your discreet observations are notied by others, it wi|I be

wathed by someone e|se are:

minutes before someone has notied what you are doing or is at least aware that you are not behaving normally' Some of the possible reasons why people find it disturbing to be

1 he wather may hve the intention of harming them

self-onfidene.

whih makes you self-onsious and therefore undermines your

they annot this may disturb the pattern of their interation with
others.
fee| they ought to reognize the wather and if

in some Way' yourse|f why you are being wathed, Being wathed makes you ask

3 he wathed may

So, what did you find out? lf the observations you made were anything like typia| (as indiated by the researh studies on whih this book is based), you wil| probab|y have notied some of the following points:

Exerise review

4 hey may think the wather is sexua|ly attrated to them and may not tind him or her attrative, which wouId make them want to avoideyeontat.heywouldfindthisdifficu|t,andtherefore 5
if the wather ontinued wathing. may Jeing rather silly, as peop|e often are when with loved They

embarrassing or irritating,

one or friends, and may feel tht the wathing stranger wi|l assume they are a|ways |ike that' his might be a b|ow to their
images of themselves as intel|igent and sophistiated people.
their group and group members often do not welome newomers as th affets the struture of the group. he sma||er the group' the .wo's stronger this feeling may be (witness the popu|ar proverb, ompany' three's a rowd').

1 When peopIe are talking, they do not look at eah other the who|e

2 ln places like bars and restaurants, some time will be spent in

|ooking at other people present, espeia||y those who are attrative or who may be behaving oddly (e.9. drunks and those engaged in disputes with a waiter). Un|ess the above riteria apply, littIe attention wi|l be paid to staff

time, but only in a series of g|anes.

6heymaytaketheWathingasasignthatthewatherwantstojoin

will probab|y ontinue unintemlpted when staff are within earshot (the same usua||y happens in plaes like tads and hauffeur.driven ars). When peop|e pay more ttention to objets in the room and even

membe of the establishment and even onfidentiaI onversations

Eye grammar
Now that
r hav ompltd

to the deoration, it may signify that they are bored with the
onversation, are newomers to the pIae, or are so familiar with eah other (e'g' those who have been married a long time) that littIe onversation is neessary (or possible).

'o- its govrn

us. y ontat an b long lasting (as wn two [ou.'s gaz. into ah othr's ys) or it-n b short (as when iokin{ at somone w know does nt like ing stard at). It

of th forms y otat an tak and som of th ruls that

our first xris, lt us amin

an be dirt (a bold, full-fronta| gaze) or indiret. It an b intrmittnt (the kind W us in onvrsation simply to hk that th othr prson has undrstood us) or ontinuous (as in a
starel.

Thre ar rules about wher We an look at eah othr and for how long. Ty looking at somon's genital rgion or down a girl's low-ut drss and you will soon rca|iz{ that you have rokn a ul. any peopl will find it mbarrassing just to rad that last sntn, lt alon try it out' so rigid is the rul under all ut th most xptional irumstanes.

thy lik or lov th other prson o th ar tryin8 to dominat or influn th othr th ar xtrovrt . thy ar dpndnt on th other and th othr has been
I

5A

ontinuous star is an easy way to unsttl or provok someon.

Too muh ye-ontat an b vry unsttling for most popl. Starilg is.usually onsidred impolit, at th vry last. T oly P.9gle who sem to able to use a frank, opn star ar young hildn, in rrhom it may evn rgardd favouraly as a sigi of a halthy uriosity out th world. It is nearly always tolratd in hildrn, but some moths (spilly of middle-lass bakgrounds) may tll hildrn of shool ag that it's rud to stare. It is almost nevr tolratd in dults and thos who star are often rgardd as mntally defiint or soially dangrous and threatning in som *"y. A

o th ar suffring from on of rtain forms of mntal

illnss.

ulrrsponslve. prson will look at anothr vry littl whn: th ar plad lose togthr they ar disussing intimate or diffiult topis they ar not intrstd in the othr's reations th don't lik th othr person th othr prson is of highr status th ar introverted

Ppl will mmuniat with ah othr mor fftivly if thir

intiation ontains th amount of y ontat thy both find

appropriat to th situation.

Uses of eye ontact

A number of th uss that w mak of y ontat hav alrady ben mntioned, ut thr ar others. Broadly spaking, most of .W establish ye th uss an b grouped into six atgoris.
ontat whn we ar:

th book) and othr rsarhers, are:

ost of th ruls of ye grammar (as is th as with all other forms of ody languag) are dpendnt on th ontxt in whih ey ontat ours. Some, howvr' ar univrsal- that is to say thy hav similar appliaility in any ontxt' at any dm;, anywhr in th world (or almost anywhr). Th main ns, ordilg to ihael Argyle (s Furthr Rading at th ak of

2 3 4

Y/ithdrarjng ye ontat by lowring th eys is usually takn as a signal of sumission. A person will look at anothr a lot rrhn:

shy.

or thratening attitud' and a wish to insult. loo lile eye ontat is interpretd as not paylng attntion, bing implite, bing insinr, showing disones, or eing

-muh ye ontat (as in staring or frqunt glans at -omrrrniating anothr person) is generally rgarded as superiority (r at least th sns of it), lak of rspet, a threat Too

1 2 3 4 5 6

Seking information. Showing affntion and intrst. Inviting and ontrolling intratin. Dominating, thratning and influning othrs. Providing fdak during sph. Rvaling attitudes.

th are plad f'at apaft . t!'.y are disussing imprsonal or asy topis . they ar intrsted in th othr and thir iations

Lt us xamin h f these atgoris a lil mor losly. Th kind of information w aquire through y ontat onsists of suh things as lus aout rhther of not somon is telling us th truth (liars tnd to avoid y ontat unlss thy ar vry brazn); whthr someon liks us or not; whthr th othr prson is paying attntion to or understanding what w say;, what a prson's stat of mind is (popl who ar dprssed or introvrid, for instane, tnd to avoid y ontat); nd whthr a prson rognizs us or not (hr, eye ontat will usd togthr with fial xpression to arriv at a dision).

attntion. If w look at them for longr than a few seonds, thy will infr that they also hav our intrst. y ntat plays a vital rol in on aspet of showing attntion and intrst - in seual attration. Considr th prolm of indiating to strangr that you ar sxually attratd to her (or him) if you ar unal (or too .W
.Whn

As soon as

look at somon' they know thy hav our

Th ffts of ey ontat in interprsonal ommuniation ar

plord in th xriss at th nd of this hapter. Aituds ar oftn rvald y th willingnss, or othrwis, of on person to provide anothr with opportunitis for ey ontat. Pople who ah othr ngag in more ye ontat than those who do not. Aggrssion, an extime form of dominati, may b9 .yeball to yball signalld by prlonged y ontat - th phrase Jnfro'.tatio'onvys what is involved hr. Sham, mbarrassment and sorrow ai usually aracteized by th dliberat avoidan of ey ontat. othr motions, too, have typial ye .W,hen peopl ar xitd, thir eys tnd -to mak bhaviour. rapid sanning movemnts. JVhn thy are afuaid, thir eys appar to h fzn opn' as if not to miss th slightst movmnt tat may bring dangr narr. Whn pple 3rc angr) their ys oftnlnto Iittl .or than slits. Sadness is xpressdy ',"''o*, downwards as wll as y rduing y ontat' and this looking sms to happen almost univrsally.

f rquirments an be mt by th appropriat us of ey ontat.

shy) to look at hr. shall onsidr th part played y all aspets of body language in sxual affration in Chaptr 14.

r look at somon' w invit thm to intrat with us. If this itration taks pla, y ontat is thn used in a numr of ways to ontrol th natur and duration of th interation. It plays a major rol in synhronizingwhat happens btwn two

peopl.

Not only is thr mor looking at th othr whn listning than whn spaking, but y ontat also signals the end of an uffran whn on spaker is, as it wr, handing th flor ovr .!7hn to the othr. re gret pople w not only look at thm ut arso also move our yDrows up ano oown qulty on. This yrows and down quikly thls .eyrow flash, as it is alld ours worldwid in a variry of ulturs as an indiation of rognition and grting (se Chaptr .!hn 2). ey ontat is brokn, anothr pattrn is sn. Individuals habitually reak gaze to lft or to right - that is, whn they look away, thy look to somthing ls to th right or
rakrs tnd to b arts rathr than sin-traind and to visualizers with strong imagination. Right brakrs tnd to b sin-trained and to hav lss visual imagination. Furthr, if popl are posed veral qustions thy will tnd to reak gaze to the right and downwards; if thy ar asked spatial questions thy will tnd to rak to the left and upwards, though this tendeny is not as markd. !inking an also be used to ontrol interation to indiat that somthing is not to takn seriously or to show a frindly attitude towald th othr. Long, unflikring looks ar used y thos who sk to dominate, thratn, intimidat or othrwis influn othrs. ny popl do not lik to fl dominatd or thratned so that, if this kind of bhaviour ours in situations lik ngotiations or intrviews, it an have an advrs fft on th outom. Fedak is important whn peopl ar spaking to ah othr. Speakrs nd to b rassurd that othrs ar listning and listners nd to fl that ir attntivnss is appreiatd and that spakers ar talking to thm rathr than at thm. Both sts
the lft of the spekr. Thr is some evidn to suggst that lft

Researh into eye Gontal

It is not part of the purpos hr to disuss rsarh methods, and thos who are intrstd in xploring th subjt of eye ontat in more dtail shuld rad Gze d utuI Gze ihal Argyle and ark Cook (Camridge University Press). But it is insting to note that primnts hav shwn that popl, speially hildrn, will respond ven to vry simpl
eyes-in muh th sam rlry as thy respond t.o.eys thmsvs. y mvmnts whn periving sttionary 9bjts,

d'"i,,g' 6f

or whn rading, follow similar pattrns to thos usd in th rption of popl. Thr are ultural variations in ye .o',tut, as * shaf se in Chapter 11. A good dal of vidn has aumulated to indiat tat greatr y ontat lads to gratr liking _ you an atually om to lik smon mor }y ngaging in more eyr ontat with thm.
Thr are onsidrabl individual diffrens in th amounts and typs of y ontat employed (as,-for instan' btwen intro-

u'ts and- etroveffs, o1 mn and womn) and there is th

onsquent nd to not th ontxt arefully bfor attempting too fr an intrprtation.of the pris maning of a p.artiulr pattrn of ey ontat. Pattrns of y ontat hang with rtain i<inds of mntal illnss and this may bom a diagnosti tool in

th futur. ven rhen people are talking on th tlephon, and thrfore annot s eah other, eye movement paiterns hav many similaritis with tlros in face-to-face ommuniation. movement behaviour is rvaling that th ommuniativ uss of th ys are many and varied. Th ys ar oming to b sen as muh mor than .rindows to the soul' and it will be usful at this point- to onsider some of th srts of th eys that we are only

In ths and other aras' rsearh into ey ontat and

ey

@)@

now bginning to learn.

What our pupils an teah us

Two intriguing fats aout y haviour have been disvrd in rnt-yars. on is that rhen w se somthing intresting our pupils dilate. Th othr is that we like pople with dilated pupils ttr than thos with ontratd pupils.
Hss and rportd in his book The TelI-Tle Ee (anNostrand Reinhold). In his priments h showed pople a st of fiv piturs: a baby, a mothr and baby, a nud mal, a nud fmale. and a landsap. He masured pupil rsponss to ths pitures and found that mn's pupils dilatd most to th nud fmale (xept for homosxuals, rhos pupils dilatd most to th mal nud)..W.omn's eys dilated to th mal nude, ut dilatd most to the mothr and baby. His rsrhs stalished that these pupil hangs quated to peopl's interst in the various pitures.
Hess also showd peopl fwo piturs of th fa of an attrativ girl. Th piturs were idntial, ut in on the pupils had n

@\@
\,

ligure 1..| both fes re smiIing, but t0 most peop| the one on the |eft appears old and insinere what do you think?

Th first fat was the result of rsarh arrid out kard

How an w us th kind of information given in th last few

pags to improv our us of this aspt of body languag?

Making better use of your eyes

rtouhd to make thm appar largr. Almost evryon askd thought th piture with th enlarged pupils Was mor attractive, but vry fw wr abl to say why. It sms, thrfor, that whil w rspond to pupil hangs, w are not awar of thir fft on our rsponss at th onsious lvel (se Figure 1.1). Pupil rsponss hav also n usd to measur attituds torards various things, suh as produts advertisd or politial andidats: th more favourale the attitl.rd, the mor dilted th pupils. It is also possible to measur hangs in aitud by measurighangs in pupil responses ovr tim. Bause pupil hangs ar not within our onsious ontrol thy provide a vry reliable indiation of intrst, affration and a numr of diffrnt attituds.

Firstly, W an om mor osrvant..W. an, witho-ut making it too obvious' pay a littl mor attention to whr othe pople .W. an b partiularly osrvalt ar looking and for how long. hanges in pupil siz. This an learly b don only about any with popl w ire physially lose t. We an not the amorrnts of ey .o''t".t thai t diffrnt individuals w mt seem to prefr. And we an remmer that w an often tll things about thrs' ral thoughts and flings from hw and whr.thy look that they would nvr think (or dare) to put into words.
Sondly, w an ngag in mor y ontat in ordrto promot grater liking of ourJlves y othrs and to produ othr positiv rsponss.

Thirdly, w an rmmbr that, on mst oasions' a dirt, op'' gJ,. is prfrabl to any hint of avoidan of y ontat or tndeny to ok quikly from one thing to anothr (whih may
h intrpretd by others as shiftinss on our part).

Nxt'

W an us all th information givn abov to inras our snsitivity to th kinds and amounts of y ontat appropriate in differnt ontxts and avoid the xtrms of staring or total

fusal to met someon ls's gaz.

.W

an dvelop positive aftitudes towards other popl sin this a more ffetiv use of eye ontat on our patr. \r an dvelop a more outgoing approah to othr pople for th sam rason. If

will, quit unonsiusly and without any ffort, promot

4 Does'she/he like me?

Se|et an attrative stranger at a pa, night |ub or other plae where it is socia|ty aeptable for strangers to approah and talk to each other. ry to deide from their eyes a|one, as you hat asua||y (if the musi a|lows), whether or not they like you. How does their wil|ingness (or otherwise) to engage in eye ontat affet your estimate of how muh they |ike or dis|ike you? observe other oup|es and try to assess the nature of their relationship from the amount and type of eye ontat they engage in. How easy or diffiu|t is it to se|et just one spet of body language for observation in this way?

you lik popl and go out of your way to mi with thm, this
does seem, quit naturally, to produe a ettr us of eye ontat.

Finally, w an us th information given in latr haptrs about othr aspts of body languag to nabl us to intgrat btter us of ye ontat into muh mor fftiv deploymnt of all
.What

our non-vrbal and verbal ommuriiation skills.

you should do now is to set som tim aside over the next few days for pratising th various uss of eye ontat xplored in th xeriss rhih follow.

Exerises and exper.ments

1 Look at me when
I'm talking to you
With a person you know welI, in an enounter, provide them with as

muh eye contact as you an without embarrassing them, Do they appear to take this as a signal that you Want to arry on ta|king and prolong the enounter? You should find that they do.

2 Staring down
Stare at someone until they look away. Se|et someone you know we|l enough to ondut this experiment with but do not te|| them about it in advane. Do not se|et a stranger as staring an easi|y be

interpreted as aggressive behaviour and may well provoke aggression in return. Consider how you foel as you perform this experiment. Ask your subjet how he or she foIt during your staring' you are able to try this experiment with a number of people you
should not only be able to explore in more detail your own feelings about staring but sh6u|d a|so. be able to col|et quite lot of useful information about the nature and effets of staring genera|ly.

How Iong, approximately, was it before your subject looked away? lf

3 Look into

my eyes

Selet someone you know well and like very muh. Persude them to sit down with you and |ook into your eyes for about a mlnute. hen discuss What you both experiened during the experlment.

The study of faial prssion has a long history. Charls Darw.in, of. The origin of Speis and Voge of the Begl fam, pulished th first srious sintifi study, Epressio of the Ernotions in Mn nd nirls, in 1,872. But physiognomy
had xerted many psudo-sintifi minds bfor that. Svral popl trid to prove that facia| appearan Was a reliabl

riminality, motional staility and vn insanity. Thy failed, of orrrs. It simply is not possil to use the fae as a reliabl preditor of very muh at all. W,hat an b don, howver, as
prsnt resarh indiats, is to us faial exprssions (that is, the

indiator of a variety of human traits suh as intlligen,

fae in movment rathr than as a stati objt) as a mans of gaining a bettr undrstanding of what othrs are ommuniating. In body language, th pressivnss of th fa is sond only to at of th yes.
stats from th xprssions on thi faes. Their attituds torards

.W.

gain a good deal of our information about popl's emotional

o
'

s)
l

o a a o
T

o
q)
t

{r

us an e learly sen, aording to whthr their xprssions

show plasur or displasure, intrst or ordom, far or angr.

.eyebrow phnomnon we shall b onsidring in this haptr is th flash', as on resarhr has trmd it. W shall s that facia| expressions are vry powrful in ontrolling th type and amount of ommuniation whih taks pla btwn individuals.
.W

Oftn th fa is th first part of a prson w look at and so expressions ar usd very muh in greetings. on universal

ln this hapter you will leam:

about faia|

the smile is ono of the few universIs in body language, as is the 'eyobrow flash' of

including smiling

expressions,

shall also se that w mak personality and othr judgments about popl on th asis of what w s in their fas. Popl ri atlrativ faes are oftn rdited with having a numer of other aributs _ whih they may or may not possss. Combind with th mor efftiv us of th eys, faial xpressins an tak us an important stag furthr in our qust for mastery of body languag.

xerise: smile if it kills you

Most of us will have sen, at one time or another, a sma|l notie of the humorous kind that peop|e working in offies and some p|aces .Be where the publi are served often disp|ay, whih states:
diffiu|t if you must, but smile if it kiIIs you.' The notie makes an

our fortunos, but thoy

our faces my not always be

reognition and greeting

are ertainly whero some of the most poworful nonverbal signals originato.

essentia|ly serious point. |t is that you an tolerate a |ot of awkwardness in someone if they show by their fae that they genuinely do not wish to be awkward without good cause. Put another way, if peop|e show by their faes that they are doing their

best to be pleasant to others, they will be allowed greater extremes of diffiult and disruptive behaviour than those who are unpleasant in both ation and manner.

he exerise for this hpter, then, is that you should attempt to pratise the message in the notice. For the next week at |east greet everyone you enounter in the ourse of your work with a pleasant smile, as if genuinely pleased to see them. You do not have to maintain an inane grin on your fae' |t is sufficient for this exerise that you at least meet people with a smile. Note the reations of others to your ation. Do they return the smi|e? Does the enounter appear to proeed better or worse than it would normally do? Does anyone appear to be surprised? Or suspiious? Does the enounter |ast |onger or is it shorter than it would otherwise be?
Of the people you meet several times during the week, does there appear to be any hange taking plae in the re|ationship between you? ls there any differene in the responses of men and those of women? Or in those of the young and those of the old? Or those

nounters will probab|y have tended to |ast rather longer than they would otherwise have done. People tend to allow a pleasurable ativity to be prolonged and wi|| try to shorten an unp|easant one' for fairly obvious reasons. You may weI| have found that, where you have met ertin people several times during the week, your relationships with them have improved in some way. Women tended to respond quiker and more favourably than men' if you are a man. lf you re a Woman, the reverse wi|l probab|y be true.

Young people will have tended to respond more readily than older
people.

Subordinates and o||eagues will have generalIy responded better than superiors, though even here your more positive approah wil| not have gone unnotied and may wel| pay off |ater. responded muh more 9 Customers and lients wiI| probab|y have.pub|i ontat' (as it is feIlow workers. lt is in suh . readily than often a||ed) that positive ations such as smiIing are partiu|arly
important.

worke

of superiors, o|leagues and subordinates? or those of

in the

fe||ow

Now, how about your own reations? Some points you may have
noted are:

organization and those of ustomers or lients?

Note your own reations. Did you find the exerise easy or diffiu|t? Did you fee| at a|| si||y in arrying it out? lf so, why? Did you find your attitudes to peopIe hanging at aII? Did you find youeIf spending longer with people you dislike? Did you find yourself disliking them any less? How do you feel when others smile at you? ry to keep a written or taped record of as many of the reations as you an,

I
2 3 4 5

After some initial awkwardness, you should have found the You shouId not have felt si||y during the exerise. |f you did'
exerise quite easy to arry out. perhaps you Were not fo||owing the instrutions |oseIy enough. Mybe you Were in|ined to grin or to keep the smi|e on your fae a little too long. You should have found your attitudes to others improving and beoming more positive. You may well have found yourself spending more time with people you dislike and you might even have found yourself disliking them
just a little less. You must like it when others smile at you, surely? Well, remember that they will feeljust as pleased when you smile at them.

Exerise review
Let us now onsider how th exerise has gone, if indeed it has gone at alltypia||y. You wil| in al| probability have noticed some at least of the following points:
1 Most people will have returned your groeting smilo. 2 Most enounters wil| then have proeeded more smoothIy than they would norma||y hve done' 3 Some people' espeia||y those With whom you havo a re|ationship of mutual dislike, wi|| have been surprisd - but perhaps not unp|easantly - by your new approah. Some' howovor, will have reated with suspiion and wil| have thought to themse|ves 'What's he [or she] up to?'

.When

he range of expressions
you onsidr how many musls thr ar in th human fae, it-i.s not surprising that th rang of faial exprssins re an produe is very wid. Thr are many subtltis in hangs of exprssion whiih an shown - onsidr, fr instane, th gteat vaiet of smils possibl befwn th Mona Lisa's partial

smil and an opn grin. Horvet, in ommuniation, faial xprssions ar most ommonly usd to xpress a dgree of
emotion nd ther ar a limitd numr of ths most of us an in prati reognize with any rliability.
.Walla

Two Amrian rsarhrs, Paul kman and Frisn, hav disovrd that thr are six prinipal faial xprssions whih ar usd to show whn peopl are happy, sad, disgustd, aa, afraid and intrstd (though the last is not really an motion). They hav found that ths ar about th only motions most of us ar likly to agre about whn w se othrs
losely at ah of th six.
xprssing them. In this as, w might usfully look a littl mor

Far has no singl xpression to btray its presen. It may b shown in wide opn yes' an oPn mouth or by a gneral trmling whih affts the fa as muh as th rst of th ody. Thre my vn b signs of prspiration nd a palness of olouing. th .had ok' _
Interst is oftn indiatd by what is alld holding th had at an angl to the sujt of intrest. Intrst my ao b shovrn y ys that ar w.idr open than normal and a slightly opn mouth (speially olmon in hildren who hav thir intist taken by smthing). \X/hn popl are seatd, th hin may b proppd y the fingrs if thy are listning attntivly.

normal smiles (of th kind w hop you were using in the last xrise) and broad smils. In a smil, th mouth is usually losd, but in open smiles th teth an b showing. A broad smil rith th tth showing will usually alld a grin and grins an be lassifi! as losd (with th tth togthr) and open (rith th teth partd). Smils ar normally usd as a greting gstur and genrally to indiate varying dgres of plasur, amusmnt and happinss, though in som ontts
they an show aggression, sarasm and othr negativ felings.

Smils, though wid-ranging, an b atgorized as: slight smils,

xprssion to typify it. Sadness, disappointmnt and dprssion ar usually rveald by lak of xpression and by suh things as turning down of th ornrs of th mu, a downward look and a gneral sagging of th fatures. xtrms of sadnss will haatrizd by th aPParane of tears, trmbling of th lips and attmpts to shild th fa from viw. Disgust and ontmpt are shown by a narroring of th ys and a grimaing mouth, whih boms mof pronound dth inrasing strength of feling. Th nos rill also probably be wrinkld up and th had turnd asid to avoid hving to look at th aus of th ration.

Th onvrse motiona| area, sadness, has no suh single

a^

ot o -t

*L

,L"
t

Anger is most ommonly haratrizd by steady gaze at th soure of offen, frowning or sowling and a gritting of th
tth togthr. Som peopl go pal whn angry, ut othrs go red - and even a purplish olour - in extrm anger or fury. Th

whl body postur will e tnse' as if ready to spring into

immdiat offnsiv ation or affak.

figre 2.1 an you orretly identify eah 0f thr emotions i||ustrated above? (a) happiness, (b) sdness, () disgust/ontempt, (d) anger, (e) fear' (f) interest

Thse are just some of th many faial xprssions to b wathed

for and notd in building up mastery of this asPt of ody

languag (s Figur 2.1).

Faes and first impressions

It is said that th most ritial priod in an nountr twn two pople is the first fiv minuts (one writer has vn suggsted it is as littl as four minutes). The imprssions formd in this tim will tnd to prsist and evn be rinford by later ehaviour, whih will tnd to be intrpreted not ojtivly ut in th light .W tnd to not th oasions on of ths first imprssions. whih our first imprssions of popl vrr mistaken and had

than w ar wrong. Ask yourslf how.oftn you rall hanging yur first imprssin of someon and ompar this with th totl of all th popl you hav mt. Alternatively, ovr th nxt rk kep a rird of all thos you met for th first tim. In a ouple of months' tim rviw th rord and dide in how many ass you had to hange thse first imprssions. Chans ar thre wn't b many (s also Chapter 13).

Tialking With your fae

most Nxt to th ys th fa is th .W powrful mans by whih us it _ and othrs rely n it we ommuniate non-vrbally. _ to show how rwarding r ar as individuals, for indiations to xprss our motional stat of th momnt'.to indiat how attntiv w afe to others, and so on. A smil tells peopl we ar plasd to se thm, a frown warns thm off. A downast look tlls thm w'r not fling too happy, a raisd yebrw and a flrist to th mouth shows w are in playful mood. A had okd .W shut our yrs and th on on sid shows \/ ar listning. lturr at th front of th lass knows we hav swithd ff.
.W

latr to b rvised eaus thr ar so fr of thm. Sin th fa is on of the first faturs w noti about a prson it an larly p|a a vital rol in th pross of stalishing relationships with othrs.

A gsture whih appars almost universally at th bginning of the greting phase (speially whn meting pople w know
well) is th yrow flash. This onsists of a rapid up and down movemnt of th eyebrows, with an aompanying smil, and it sms to show the pfson we ar about to talk to that w ar plased to se thm. In th as of popl we know, it sms to oprrat as a gstur of rgnition. It is widly usd in both advand and primitiv soitis.

to ommuniat whn words ar inappropriat. Someone says

something out of pla and w try to show in our fas that thy hav ommitted a f ps. In a noisy factory, rords are totally uslss but a friendly grin gts th messag over.

an say quit a lot with our fas.

T.

an us faial prssions

\[hen we first met somone and look at their fa, proably the

first judgmnt w mak is whthr w lik thm or not; whthr w find thm affrativ or unattrativ. A good dal of vidn has bn aumulatd about what are gnrally regardd as attrative faial fatures. Peopl shown photographs of a numbr f othr popl will usually aglee on whih ar th handsom mn and the eautiful womn. Faturs that ar ommonly statd as ontributing to attrativnss ar well ut and styld hair, a high forhad, lar ys' a smooth omplxioven teth and a gneral symmtry of faturs (althou sarh has shown that no-on's faturs ar prftly symmtrial).

Faial xpressions an, howevr, b used to rinfor the impat of vral mssags. A mothr solds a hild and hr fa tlls hr offspring that s rally is displased this tim. A goup of shop stardi tll th managment thir ration to th latst pay ffr and the st of their jaws tlls th managment to go away and om up with somthing bttr. At an offiial gathring, tw totally opposd individuals mak polit onvrsation, but thir
frosty fas betray thir mutal animosity.
It is lear from what has bn said so far that th fa's main rol in our us f body language lis in the xpression of motions. As wr saw arlir, thr ii a limitd numbr of motions that an b rliably rozed by obsrvrs of th fae. Nverthlss, th fa

But in ths first fr minutes w do mor than simply did whthr or not w lik somone. we mak judgmnts about thir haratr, personality, intllign' temprament' Prsonal habits, working abilitis, suitability as a frind o lover, and so on. All of this is done on the basis of vry littl informtion about the othr - and yet we ar mor often iit i'' thse judgmnts

undoubtdly has f.motion

xprssion of any emotion but also to th exprssion of any dgr

a ontribution to mak, not only to

th

- no mattr how subtl. This is a point whih will apply to th degr that many other parts of th body ontribute tur us of ody languag, and w should not mislad ourslvs

into thinking that many mssages are simply and lea onvyd by one part of th body alon. ost mssages are ontxtdpndnt whn it omes to fully undrstanding thm.

as wll as in th eys. Surpris is sn in th forhad, eyes and mouth movmnts. Angr is perived from th appearan of th whole fa and not iust from th brows and th lour of the fa as many pople suppos.

Anothr aspet whih dsrvs onsidration is how far artfats ontribut to non-verbal messags. Suh artfats an inlud moustahs, eards, spetals, ear-rings and th us of makup. Sin suh things hang our appearan w need to tak into aount thir ffts upon how othrs will preive us. For instan, mustahs will oftn b takn to indiat gratr age than a lean-shavn uppr lip, urhih may a reason for thir popularity with young mn. Bards may takn as a sign of an indpendent mind whih resists Prssures to onform; sptals oftn lad to individuals bing rdited with grater intellign than thy atually possss. ar-rings, if worn by men, may be intrprtd as a sign of ffminay, though som oys urrntly wa them as a dfiant gesture of mrging masuliniry. A girl who wars havy make-up risks (oftn unfoundd) onlusions onrning her moral standards. From this We an se that w do not always snd tlr non-vral messages w intnd to snd. Th mor w ar awar of suh pitfalli in th unspokn languag of th body, th beer w shall b able to us it.

Th xprssion on th fa, whn pople ar ommuniating, is

onstantly hanging. Amongst th hangs nw rsarh thniqus hav nabld us to idntify ar miromomntary faial xpressions. These last fo a faion of a sond, s thif nam implis, and oftn indiat a persn's tru flings. For xampl, a prson may be sag that h is plasd to s somone and may b smiling but may

Ilk this offrs many possibilitis of using ody language to disover wht thrs are rally thinking and feling.

rvai his tru attitud with a miromomntary prssion of disgust. Suh prssions ar too flting for most popl to priv them, but they an e aptid by th amra. Rsarh

A number of studis hav bn mad of individuals' abilitis to opy th faial expressions of othrs. Most wr abl to opy bttr with th aid of a mirror but vry anxious individuals

tndd to do bttr without a mirror. Apparntly, no on has yt

fllowd up this rsarh by investigating th pratial applitions, for eample, in ounselling work. Som studis

Fae fats
prsonality, attitudes towards othrs, sxual attration and attrativness, the dsir to ommuniat or initiat interation,
Rsarh into faial expressions has not only xplord thir rol in epressing motions; it has also xamined their rol in revaling

have also suggestd that rrhen individuals opid smils thy flt happier, whih has som intrsting possibilities that we shall be studying in th nxt stion of this haptr.

Differns hav en obsrvd in th ways mn and womn us .!7omen tnd to laugh faial prssions whn ommuniating. and smil mor than mn' ut mor oftn bause thy find th situation slightly unomfortabl than out of gratf soiiliry.
Peopl tnd to talk lss, mak mor sph errors and smil mre whn attmpting to div othrs than whn bing ompltely opn and honest. Nurss' ability to deive y th pression on tir fas orrelatd with thir subsquent fftivnss in their work, as judgd by supriors. Sin nurss oftn hav t oneal frm ill patints just hw ill thy ar, this finding is prhaps not surprising but it dos suggest that peopl, lik nurses, who spnd

and the dgre of xprssivness when ommuniating. It has also produed som other rathr intersting findings

Faial xprssions an b affetd by a prson's stat of halth. It has bn found that bfor a woman undergoes hildbirth h fa shows mor signs of anxiety and stress, though thos rho have had a hild alrady usually show fwr signs. Popl who have ulrs frrn mor than thos who havn't. Dprssd patints have bn found to smil more widly aftr having
ltro-onvulsiv thrapy than befor it.

Differnt parts of th fae ar attended to yhn observrs are preiving diffrnt motions. Fear is usually looked for in th
ys' as is sdnss. Happiness is sn in th hks and th mouth

thir working livs daling with othr pople should reeiv training in th us of body languag. On psyhologist has found that popl judg things suh as riminality from the fa. A numbr of photographs of innont peple wr shown and subjts wre askd to alloat suh irimes as armd robbry and rap to th appropriate fas. A

signifiant numbr

unfornrnate innont as a rapist. Rsarh lik this tnds to mak one unasy' not only about, say, poli idntifiation parads-but also about th signals w may unwiingly b snding to othrs about ou own attituds, prsonality and haviour.

of peopl, for instane, pikd out

on

xerises and experiments

Good morning, world!

Smile, you'll feel better

Beaus th smil is proably th most universally usd and th most positive faial &prssion, it rill b usful if w xamin it in a littl mor dtail hr. Smils are usd all ovr th world to indiat or reflt plasur or happinss. ven hildrn who hav ar bn blind from irth smile whn t.hy ar plasd. Smiles .W also usd to show rassurane' amusement and evn ridiule. shall be onrnd hr with the positiv uss to whih smiles an be put. Smils ar rarly usd dlierately, but they an b. xprimnts hav shown that if individuals ar asked to smil and ar thn shown piturs of various events' they rport that th piturs plas tem and vn make thm fel elatd. If individuals ar iskd to frown during th sam kind of xprimnt, they rport xpriening flings of annoyane and ven angr. Rsarh lik this prhaps provides som sientifi support for th popular saying .Laugh and th world laughs with you'. Smils an also b used to mask othr motions. An athlt who

There are two versions of this experiment - one for the timid and one for the bo|d. The timid shouId select people they know, the bold an try it on anyone they meet. When you go out tomorrow moming, do not smile when greeting people you meet in the street. Count how many smile. The following morning smile warmly in greeting at everyone you meet. Count how many return your smile. What's the

differen? he bold wil| find the greatest differene' lt's surprising how many strangers will smile if you smile first' It's as if they want to all the time but are just a little afraid to take the initiative.

2 Face exerises
o deve|op musle tone (get rid of f|abbiness and a sagging fae)' try eah of these exerises for one minute every day:

a b

Starting from the face at rest, grin broadly, preferably lifting the eyebrows at the same time. .o'. Starting from the fae at rest, puker the |ips into a tight round Starting from the fae at rest, lift the hin as high as it will go' raise your eyebrows and a|ternately grin and puker.

Do these exercises in front of a mirror if ou an.

will still try t smil bravly to hid his disappointmnt. A smile may also b a
loses to a partiularly disliked opponnt
rrork

3 Stop frowning
Whenever you have any onentrating to do, pIae your pa|m aross your forehead. lf you find you are frowning, stop it. lf you have to move your fae at al|, try raising your eyebrows so that your forehead reases horizontal|y rather than vertial|y. You wil| find that one result of this exerise is to make you |ess prone to headahes.

submissiv rrspons to wafd off anothr's attak. Thos rho

puli, suh as rptionists ot afuqaftain rw, ar traindto us smils to rassuf lints and passngrs. Smiling may be usd to mak a tens situation mor omfortbl. A smil will tend to all forth a smil from th othr prson and thus as away th tnsion. Th bst tim to tst th powr of th smil is whn you last fl lik smiling, whthr th,o" illnss or dpression. For a smil on to your fa and keep it thr for as long as possil. ah tim th smil disappears, rait a fer minutes and thn try again..!ithin

in

oupations that bring thm into ontat with th

4 Show your feelings

sequene:

ln front of a mirror, pratise each of the fo|lowing emotions

in

a happiness b sadness

a short tim, you should noti a distint improvmnt in how you fl. This thniqu will not always work, ut vry oftn it will and is ertainly at last wortlr atry. of allthe faial xpressions that w

surprise
d disgust

use' th smil is the on most worth nouraging in ourselves.

e fear t anger.

lf you an seure the ooperation of someone e|se, see if they can

make the task a litt|e more diffiult for them. his exerise wi|I tell you how well you express yourfeelings. lt will also tell you how good your partner is at reognizing emotions. You an reverse ro|es one your partner has fu|ly grasped the nature of the exerise and you may even be able to invo|ve others. |t an make a useful little pa game, with points given for auray in rognition.

identify eah emotion from your expression. Vary the sequene to

ls your fae your fortune?

Col|et six photographs of people's faes, one of whih should be a wel| known attrative fi|m or TV star. Show them to as large a number of peop|e as possible and ask them to rate the attrativeness of eah .1 fae on sa|e of 1 to 0. Do you find others' ratings agree with your own? Do they tend to agree on the most attrative fae amongst the

six? The exerise shou|d provide some fasinating insights into

peop|e's pereptions of others.

6 How

many faces?

Study the faces of those you meet. Can they be lassified into types? Do simi|ar ones keep ropping up? or is every one unique?

oo o a. o r+ a
)

ln this chapter you will leam:

hed movements nd head nods are onsidered their role in sociaI interation is explained and the importane of head nods when listening to
others is explained.

If you wath two ppl talking, you will noti that, in addition

to the movemnt of thir muths and

xpression as thy talk, thir hads mov in what may appar to be quite random ways. Not so. Ths movemnts ar no mofe random than the ey movmnts and faial exprssions w hav already xamined. In this haptr w shall onsidr som of th ways in whih w an use our hads to hlp us speak body languag mor fftively.

hanges

in

faial

Exerise: on the nod

Beause the head nod is suh a ommon movement, it wi|| be useful for us to base the main hapter exercise on it. Selet onversation

with someone you know well. As they talk, nod your head
encouragingly. Do they seem to do more of the talking or less?

on another oasion' with the same person' as they talk do not nod your head at all. Do they seem to do more of the talking or less?
After eah onversation, reord your impressions in your notebook or on tape.

The most obvious and prhaps most frquntly usd had movmnt is th nod. Over most of th world it signifis agrmnt, affirmation or approval and an thrfor b vry
useful when vrbal language differns mak ommuniation .W shall make a partiular study of this. diffiult.

Repeat the exerise with a stranger and reord your impressions

in the same way.

Had movmnts ar important not only in talking but also in listning for, as w shall se, if they ar usd proprly thy an

Now, preferably with the same people, nod for ha|f the onversation and then stop. What haPPens? Note down your own fee|ings about the exerise. Did you find it easy or diffiult to do? Whih parts Were the easiest and whih the most diffiult? Consider how other people use nods when they are taiking to you. Observe interviewers on television, preferably with the sound turned off. What kinds of things do you notie about nodding behaviour? Do people nod most when talking or listening? Why do you think this is? Are there any other things you notie about the ways peop|e use nods in fae-to-fae ommuniation?

hlp us to ommuniat more asily and if thy ar misusd they an quikly afft advrsly a relationship with anothr person. A nod must not b usd whn a shak would b mor appropriat, and vi vrsa. Thr ar times whn th had should e wed and tims it should held rt.

phenomnon in mor dtail in th nxt haptr), and to indiate our attitud towards an nountr and how w s our rol within it. Thy ar' thn' apable of muh 1reatet vrsatility and subtlty in xprssion than might b supposd and ther are many individual movmnts whos signifian and usfulnss to us w shall plor. ! shall find that thr ar many mor ways in whih We an us our hads than w evr thought possil.
.!

Had movments an b usd as speeh markrs, in soial .ehoes' (w shall look at this aknowldgmnts' as gestural

Exercise review

Now let us |ook at What you might have disovered. he omments otfered here wil| also be relevant when we return to the subjet of head nods later in this hapter'

will nd to remmbr not to try to interpret had movmnts in isolation. Th fous of our affention in this haptr is on how th had movs - ut this dos nt man forgtting all aout th ffets thr lmnts of body language an hav. A good xampl is th wink. This may sm to b simply an ye movemnt, ut it is also a facia| xprssion and, sin th had usually movs slightly to on sid whn winking, it is had movmnt. Only whn one is winking srrrrptitiously will thr be no had movmnt. |n fact, th prsne or asn of had movmnt
an a ruial fator in intrprting th signifian of a rink.

ln the first part of the exerise, nodding your head shou|d have enouraged the other person to speak more and for |onger. Refusing to nod should have resulted in the other person drying up and ending the conversation very quikly. You shou|d have had the same experienes when onversing with a stranger, except that you may have notied that the stranger stopped talking quiker when head nods are absent than someone you know well.
When you were nodding for half the onversation and not for the other half, you should have seen similar responses. The first half of

the onversation wil| almost ertainly have gone muh better than the seond half. he other person wi|| have onversed muh more free|y and easily when you were nodding than when you were not.

As far as your own fee|ings are onerned, you will almost ertain|y
have fe|t more omfortab|e and at ease when you were a||owed to nod. |n fat, you may even have found it impossib|e not to nod at times.

ln observing other people's nodding behaviour, you should have notied that most peop|e nod much more when they are listening than when they are talking. elevision interviewers, for instane, nod when they are |istening to interviewees'hnswers preise|y because it enourges them to open up and talk more fu|Iy about the subjet. Nodding, as we shal| see |ater, is a mjor way of showing that we are attending to what another person is saying.

It is intrsting to rath peopl's hads as thy are speaking (telvision without th sound is a good mdium to use) in ordr to obsrv th small but rhhmi movemnts made by th had in aompanimnt t speh. If you do this, see if you an, for instan, math the head movement to th nd of a sntn. It is normally marked by a slight downward movmnt' with a
slight pause bfor th head movs again.

.W

Listening heads

Talking heads
As with othr aspts of body languag, hd movmnts an b usd fr a variety of purposs. They an usd to indiat attituds' to rpl speeh and to support what is said. They an vn ontrdit what is said and if this happns, as in othr bvd in prfren to th words uffrd.

hav alrady nountrd th us of the had nod in listening ehaviour (in th xris at th beginning of this haptr) and, baus it is of suh ky importan to our mastry f body languag, w shall rturn to it at th nd. But thr are othr bhaviours that ar important to ffiient listning.

forms of body talk, what th had movnts say will b

prssing, whethr onsiously or unonsiously, a prson's .lV,hn attitudes. th had is hld high and pssibly tiltd slightly akward, this is oftn interpretd as bing promptd y i haughty and ven aggrssiv ittitude (if ampanid y suh things as a fixd star' a url to the lips and an unusually rd r oasinally whit - fae). A lowerd had indiats submissivenss r humility or vn deprssion (if aompanid by fators as slow and infrqunt llr-voied sph, a ' gnral sagging in postur and an avidan f y ont).

Let us' for xampl, take th rol f had movmnts in

One of ths is the dirtion in whih th had is pointing. It is always diffiult to apt that somone is listning to us if thy ar looking away from us. If thy ar indd listning, re expt .Why this should so is that they will at last b looking at us. not lar baus it is obviously quite possibl to be listning intently evn if your ys ar losed and you are faing in the opposit dirtion. Nevrthlss, listening, like many other things, it appars, must not only be don ut must b sn to be
don.

to hav rathr mor- dramati mphasis than onversation. This applis to gsturs' too.

stresss' whn spaking, to pla mphasis on rtain words and phrass. The kind of ontxt in whih this ryp of bhaviour is mst readily-obsrvd is the publi sph, whr it is nssary

Had movmnts have an intesting us as sph markrs. Slight had nods, swps to on sid and hin thrusts at as

Anothr bhaviour is th .had ok', holding th had at a tilted angl to the prson eing listend t (Figur 3.1). It is usd vry muh y animals, speially dogs, and also by hildrn, who vn use it whn speaking to anothr prson whos attntion thy ar seking to sur - almost as if thy were showing th other prson how h or sh ought to b bhaving if thy wre to xhiit th desired dgr of ttntion.
.!7hn

in

veryday

w ar listning to othrs w tnd unonsiously to opy thir had movmnts. It is almost as if w wish to demonstrat a ommonality of interst by a ommonality of bhaviour.
It is also quite ommon, when listning in a rasonably intimate

The had an b usd to pint in thos situatins in whih fingr pointing would nsidrd inapproprit or vn rud. fhe had is moyd t indiat the dirtin in whih on wants somon to look or move. It is also oftn usd by th hairs of mtings to indit who is th nxt prson to hav his or hr prmission to spak.

stting' to ring th had losr to th person bing listend to. Te tte--tte (ot ead-to-had talk) an even eom litrally tru in th as of lovrs whispring quitly to ah othr. Phvsial losenss is used as an indiation of intlletual and motional losnss.

Although indirt obsrvation is frequntly 1ot a soially aptl ativify' using had movmnts to indiat a lak of
sriosnss in ones attituds maywll b. Tilting th had to on sid (in a similar manner to th had ok dsried abov) an b usd to indiate that what on is saying is not intendd to b

taken sriously. It an also usd as an appealing gstur, partiularly by young affrativ girls whn talking to youngmen in a flirtatious or playful mannr. It may b usd in grtings, .yrow flash' disussd in Chaptet 2, in aompanid by th
ordr

figre

3.1 two versions of the hed ok

;a dgr of frindlinss in th grting. Th had an be usd aggressivly. Thrust forward from th shouldrs, it poss a threat to an opponnt and' in. th often horrifying tati of th tnag hooligan in th form of a hadu' it an vn e usd as a weapon. Lss aggrssiv peopl, lik politiians making forful spehs,- an us th ."i i'' smaf sharp downwards movmnts to add mphasis to
ahiev an

partiular words and phrass.

\hn listning in a sated position, th had is often proppd y th thumb and th first two fingers of th hand. This is widely intrprtd by spaks as a sign of intllignt intrst. Car must takn, hwvr, for if th hin is propped in th palm (and speially if th eyelids bgin to droop) it may be takn as an indiation of rdm, with oth e spakr and rhat he or sh
is saying.

Thr ar sx differnes in th use of head movmnts' as in .Women

us th many othr aspets of th us of body languag. had.ok mor than mn and ar oftn shown in advertisments and magazin piturs with tiltd hads. en tilt thir hads forward in a grting nod mor than womn..Womn ar more frquntly o'v.d with th head lowrd in a sumissiv gstt th,n a'. mn. It may b that suh diffrns in

ffiient listening, thn, is y no mens purly passiv. An ativ us of th kind of haviour outlind aov an help to show spakrs that thy are riving yur full and undividd attntion - or that they are not.

ehaviour ar non-verbal markrs in soial interation of diffrnes in gndr. It may also that, as womn ome inrasingly firated, suh diffrnes twn th sxes will
beom lss markd.

It

depends on how you look at it

How to use your head

As w have sn, you an use your had for many mor things than just kping your ars apart. In this stion we will reviw what.w hav larnd about had movmnts and highlight
thos that We an mak pratial us of in th futrrfe.

The orintation of your had whn looking at pople an hav a markd ffet upon thir intprtation of your bhaviour. On of th reasons that maks it possil for you to look at somon .out of th orner of your y' is that, as indiatd abov, pople will xpt th fous of your attntion to be whr you afe looking. This is not infallibl, horvr, and if th dirtion of gaze is too obviously at varian with th dirtion of th hd or if sidways glnes are too long or too frqunt thy will b
spottd.

First of all, had movmnts are usful as a mans of soial aknwldgment. Mn tnd to us a nod to signify that.thy hav sn ind reognized somon;.womn tnd to us a had tilt. Thre is no rjson why thse bhaviours should ontinu unhangd in th futur, but it may mor fftive soially to -th o''untion of the ompany in whih you find follow
yourslf.

Had movemnts an b usd to bkon somon in irumstans whr a shut or vn a wav would inappropriate. This bkoning movemnt taks the form of a diagonal throwing
ak of th had and may b rpatd sveral tims, dpnding on th ulgny of th .om hre' rqust.

men is th had swivel, whih taks th form of turning th head to look at the objt or prson nwly osrvd. It often ours whn a man athes sight of, or has his attntion drarrn to th prsn of, an arativ woman.

To xpress dout or rlutan, th had is somtims swayd or rokd from sid to side, as if wighing a rqust or a proposition in th alan. To xpress disdain or haughtiness, it may b tossd or shkn, in muh the same way that a dfiant hors tosss its had. This gstur is proably mor frquntly usd by womn than mn. A gstur mor ommonly used by

nodding fairly frquntly (ut not ontinuously) when somone is spak"ing.',.oo'"g.' thm to speak for longr 1n4lo say.mor. A numbi of rsa1h studis av quantifid this and have shown that th amount f speh that an b gnratd in this way an b thr or four time gratr than-normal. It is a finding whih is of imprtat pructical valu to th proess- of making

intrvirs a'.d diso'ions mor produtiv and efftiv. Refusal by a listenr to nod an aus a speakr to dry up ompltly without knowing why, apart from .xperining. a
vagu feling that th listnrwas not ral]y- attnding, ven if h

orh was looking at the spaker most of th time.

Winking, aompanid y a short, sharp downward tilt of the mant to be tkn sriously. It an humorously onspiratorial, saying .You and I ar in this togethr', or, .This is a sret btwn th two of us'. It an simply b usd as a gesture of frindly soial aknowldgmnt
had to on sid, is a usful gstur. It an show that a statmnt

Training ourss in th us of bdy languag should m.ak .a partiulir point of showing thes various uss of th head nod. it is a teh',iqo whih- has an importane quite out.of proportion to iti apparnt signifian. In this it is-omparable io t thniques ofusing ey ontat disussd in 9haptr 1 and is ommonlysd by a liitnr in ombination with an inrased
amorrnt of y ontat.

is not

Nodding is also important, as w hav sen, in enaling a spakr,* spially J publi speakr,- to mphasize partiular

Head movmnts an xprss aituds and it may b bettr, therfor, unlss you Want to appar humbl or submissiv, to hold your had reasonably rt. This will also tnd to nourag
good postur.

aptan' ontinuing attntion and undrstanding aording to the ontxt in whih it is usd. Broadly speaking, th strength f the nod (that is, th degre of up and down movmnt) dlines through
ths atgoris.

Th had nod signifis agfeement' approval,

Nod if you Want me to ontinue

vlords and }hrass. Hr, it nds to usd with som degre of disrimination. Othrwis it an' like any othr thniqu of giving emphasis to statmnts, los muh of its ffet. Too muh ieptition removs th impat of an emphasizing thnique. As mn tnd to us had nods mor than womn, it may wll b usful for womn to pratise using had nods rathr mor. Howvr, thr is some vidn to suggst that women are thousht to b r listenrs than mn and this may man that it is nly whn spaking that womn nd to us mor had
nods.

xerises and experiments

1 Head ok
Look for instanes where other people use head oks. Wath young hildren who have not yet |earned to speak f|uent|y, if you an. They seem to make more use of body Ianguage, a|most ertain|y beause of their |ak of verbaI ski|l. |n your enounters With others try using head oks a |ittle more to show interest. Don't make them too obvious or exaggerated or the result will simply look silly. You should find people begin to speak to you more.

The largest nods usually indiate agrmnt, whilst th slightst nods an provide a spakr with fdbak on how wll h is bing understood. As with othr body movmnts, howevr, th furthr away th spaker is, th gratr th dgr of movmnt has to be in order to b aurately privd. Th least obvious, and yt in many ways the most fftiv, use proably found in th xriss at th ginning of this haptr,

of the had nod is in showing ontinud attention. As you

2 Tte.-tte
Look for examples of people talking with their heads touching or very lose together. ls it on|y |overs who onverse in this way? You shou|d find that those who want to prevent others overhearing them keep their heads |oser together _ for examp|e, businessmen, or a group tel|ing di stories (note how the |atter move apart when |aughing at the punh line).

3 Head dane
Watch a V disussion programme Without the sound and onentrate on the partiipants' head movements' Note how the slight movements up, to the left, to the right, and down seem to have a pattern to them. Note also how the end of a sentene seems to be mathed not on|y with a pause but also with a downward movement of the head.

4 What an your head say?

Using the information given in this hapter and any other soures you an find, make a list of all the messages that head movements a|one an convey to others. But remember, it must be the head alone.

oo o o. v, rr+ o o o v, q) 1+ a

GI

ln this chptryou will leam:

. .

gestures and body movements provide the foa| point there ale indiations that ertain gestures in certin

and fixed meanings a numberof gesture languages do exist, suh as those used
by the deaf.

cultures have quite specific

It is in th us of gestures that our mastery of ody languag an ahiv ral loquen. y ontat, faial xprssion and head movmnts' thugh of vital importan, have ertain limitations. Gesfes permit a dgr of xprssivnss and sutlty that is not possil with othr aspts of non-vrbal ommuniation. It is th us of gesturs to onvy meaning that most popl think of whn thy talk about body langug and in is haptr w shall onsidr th vaity of mssags for whih gsflrres an b th vhils.
Svral witrs hav attmpted to lassify gsttrrs into ategories. lvIihal Argyl has suggstd that thr ar fiv diffrnt funtions that gsturs an srv:

It is this rihnss of silent ommuniation that w shall now

bsin to xplre. But first, as in thr haptrs, lt us attmpt an *ri, *i.h will put uj in the right fram of mind for what is to om.

Exerise: everyday mime Find a situation that you an observe where people annot

. . .

illustrations and other spehJinkd signals onvntional signs and sign languages movmnts that xprss motions movmnts that xprss prsonality movements that ar usd in various religious and other ritals.

Paul kman and.!alla Friesn have also suggstd that thr ar five groupings, ut thir atgories ar:

ommuniate with each other by using words, beause it is too noisy, beause silene is neessary, beause they are too far apart to hear eah other, or beause there is some other barrier to spoken communiation. xampls might inlude a noisyfactory' a TV studio, a restaurant, a building site, a hospital, a library or an examination hall. Look for, and note down, gestures used in such ontexts to attrat attention, to direct, to te|l someone there is a te|ephone al| for them, to bekon, to greet and bid goodbye' to indiate passage of time, to keep quiet, and to onvey any other messages that gestures an be used for.
What simiIarities and differenes do you notice? What examples of

. . . . .

mblems (movmnts that ar substitutes for wrds) illustratoIs (movmnts that aompany sph) rgulators (movments that maintain or signal a hange in a prson's listning or spaking rol) adaptors (movemnts suh as srathing one's head, rubbing n's hands or fiddling with objts, whih tnd to ast light

speial odes do you come aross? How suessfu| do gestures seem to be as a means of communiation? What are their
advantages? What are their limitations?

upon a prson's motional stat) aff displays (movemnts that mor dirdy rval motions, as
faial xpressions do).

How usefu| are gestures when ommuniating with someone who does not speak your |anguage? What kinds of needs or requests an most easily be onveyed by gestures? Whih are the most ditfiu|t to express? Whih are impossible to express? How we|| do words tshte into gestures? How we|l an gestures express emotions? How well an they express or request detailed information?

Howver thy are lassifid, gestrs an be usd to press a range of attitudes, motions and othr mssages. ihael fugyl. quots a number of onvntional gsturs that sem to hav almost univrsal manings. xamples ar shaking the fist to shor angr' rubbing th palms togthr in antiation, lapping as a sign of approval, raising n's hand to gain attntion, yawning out of brdom, patting someon'on th bak to nourag thm, and rubbing tlr stomah to indiat hungr. Gerard Nirenberg and Hnry Calero suggest that gsturs are usd in xprssing, amongst
many othr things, opnnss, dfnsivenss, radinss, rassuran' relationsps and suspiion. Thy show that ths gesfles ar used vn in situatins in whih th other person annot e sen, as when making a tlephon all or using a tap rordr.

As a further alternative, if you an seure the ooperation of a

group of peop|e (for instane, if you are a member of a |ass whih u"ing this book), you an play harades or a version of the game in whiCh two teams try to guess the title of a film, W show, radio programme or book and get points for suceeding within a time iimf ot, say, two minutes. his an be not on|y a good exerise in using gestures but also great fun - there is, after all, no reason at allwhy learning should not be enjoyable'

frustration, onfidne, nrvousnss, aeptan' xptany'

what kinds of situations or titles are easiest to guess from gestures alone? What kinds of people are best at ommuniating through gestures? Why do some peop|e seem to be inapable of getting a

""s"ge oveithrough gestures? What

are the serets of suessfu| harads phying? How do you identify the key elements in situations or tit|es foi ommuniation through gestures and body movements?

xercise review
Where you notied simi|ar gestures being used in widely different ontexts, you have probab|y witnessed .universal' gestures or onventionaI gestures of the kind referred to ear|ier. You shou|d have notied that gestures beome more de|iberate and even exaggerated with inreasing distane between those invo|ved. You might have notied a differene in the gestures used indoors and those used outdoors, with indoor gestures being more ontro||ed and subtle. You may have notied differenes between men and Women, adults nd hildren (a fasinating area for gesture study is of very young hildren at plygroups) or people in different soia| lasses in the gestures they use; that the gestures used during daytime differ from those used at night, as do gestures used at work and those used in leisure ontexts. You will probably have found that people at work seem to have their own odes for the meanings of gestures. This is espeia|ly notieab|e in plaes like W studios, wher si|ene on the part of non-partiipant studio floor statf is essential. You may have onluded that gestures are usefu| but that their usefu|ness has ertain limitations. he advantages of gestures are that they assist ommuniation where people annot speak to each other easi|y, they an at as a kind of onvenient shorthand and they an dd an interesting degree of expressiveness to everyday soia| interation. Their restritions are that the amount of information they an onvey is limited' ertain things annot be ommuniated by gesture alone (try exp|aining your name and address by gestures a|one), and in ertain ontexts they an simply be unsuitabIe (for examp|e, to Warn someone of impending danger). lf you have been able to observe people of different languages trying to onverse' you will almost ertain|y have notied that they re|y heavily on gestures. Simple, basi needs with whih everyone is familiar (like hunger and thir are easier to ommuniate than omp|ex or sophistiated ones (such as the loation of the best night |ub or a partiular brand of produt whih is not on disp|ay). Some messages may be so |ong and invo|ved as to defy ommuniation by gesture at a|l. General|y speaking, nouns and verbs translate more easily into gestures than adjetives, adverbs and other words. Gestures are probably most usefu| in expressing attitudes and emotions, whih is true for most other aspets of body |anguage.
If you played harades or the title-guessing game' you probab|y found that situations or tit|es which ontain referene to ation or

referring to abstrat qualities (like truth, justie, demoray and be|ief)

or to siationary objets (like house, road, fene and hair

a

usually need to gesture the shape of things |ike this, whih is cheating

you

people are titt|e). You proaty found that outgoing and soiable game than the shy and retiring, though often the better at this i<ind of

people latter have hidden talents whih only need bringing out. Some this way at alI. This are so se|f-onscious they annot ommuniate in

book should help suh people to relax, even if they don't atua|ly do any of the exerises. he secrets of suessfu| harades playing and portrayal of tit|es are to oncentrate on ations and movement, then n shapes, then on those elements similar to other ativities that an .Tale' aross by be easily onveyed by gestures (suh as getting the .City' is an example of gesturi a wagging ii in Tale of Two Cft.es _ i very oitticuIt word to onvey, but most peop|e will guess it if they get
the first three words)'

hav Anv part of th body an usd to mak a gstur. had (s Chaptr 3).'If hr w J^ei onsidrd t. .''. of the work ur way down th rest of th bo, w shall b abl to i."iiry .si,of th other gesturs and body movmnts that hav ommuniativ valu.

Let your body do the talking

.W

This aspt of body languag is usually a||ed kinesis. This is a t* .".d y an,Am"ri rsearhr, Ray Birdwhistll, who was on of th first to study body-motion ommunratron Whn

'ti"..'st ;;;" ;nit

in it gan

Th most ommon shouldr movment is.Ith shrug, wlrih .I .I

usually onveys th mssages dn't know', don't are',

sintifi study of gstrrrs and othr body movemnts.

th iat 1940s. ' kine is th smallst of body movmnt and kinsis rfrs to th

J"ti"i r,.Ihat ."',-yoo do?' (i.. this situation-is rally

".."mpanid ou.-.nt'. i singl it.i

am

holss). It is an up and dwn movmnt of oth shoulders and by appropriat faial xpressions.and had 1-.

being shruggd usually mans' .Tak your hand oif my arm (or shoulder), or .Lav m alone'. Th hst an be puffd out as a gstur of prid or ahivmnt but it is ommonly only usd in a humorous and slt.mokmg

;;:- s;."''. *ho

onsidrd oneitd.

usd

it

sriously would probably b

movement were easier to ommuniate by gesture than those

Th stomah an b suked in as if to say, .I am rally fit' or .I'm not as fat as I look'. vn though mn do tnd unonsiously to hold thir stomahs in when in th prsn of an attrativ girl, this gestur is also used only half-seriously.

Th pelvis and th buoks an e used to mak gstures' ut most of them ar intrprted y othrs as sxual invitations and ar oftn onsidrd obsn. Prhaps if you nd to us suh gesturs as invitations it is a sign that youf mastry of body
languag is, to say th least, unsophistiatd.

hand gstur, however, is steepling.In this th tips of th fingers ar plad togthr in what rsmbls an attitud of prayr xpt that th palms are kept wll apart. Nirnbrg and Calro quot this as a gstur whih signifis onfidn, or at least a desire to mak a listner think on feels onfident.

Th arms, hands and fingrs ar usd for a gteat varity of gstures' and w will look t som of thes in a littl more detail in th nxt stion. T shall sltive for it would simply not be pratiable to onsider all th possibilities. On intresting

Dsmond Morris was a vry popular writr on th subjt of non.vrbal ommuniation. H ad a tam of resarhrs from oxfrd Univrsity pulishd a guid to- th origins. and distriution of 20 ltd gestures. From information gatherd from 40 plas ross urope, thy wr- abl t-identify hw ommonly ah of th gestures ourrd and what meanings Wr atta;hd to them. Thir findings indiate how important it ftn is 'to know th ontxt in whih a gstur is usd bfor trying to intrprt its meaning. They- also show .that gesture in one frart of urop an somtims hav the.opposite.meaning from its usud mning in anothr. Som of ths ar illustratd
in Figure 4.1. Th first gstur orris,s tam studid was the Fingert Kiss.In this, th iips of th fingrs and thum ar kissd and thn th hani is mved quikly away from th mouth and th fingrs sorad out. It is iymoli of th mouth kiss, whih is a gstur ud all ovr th orld to show afftion. Th gstur is most ommonly usd to indiat praise in Spain, Fran, Grmany and Gr. In Prtugal, Sardinia and Siily it is usd as a greting. Its us is relativly rar in th British Isls and in Italy.

Morris gesture maps

put all kinds of mssags into these gstures. It may b an

pulls her skirt down to ovr her knes sh is utting off th possibility of an approah, but it is intresting that women will usually sit with their lgs rossed vn whn thy ustomarily wear jans or trousrs. n sm to e quit h"ppy on oasion to loung around in an opn-lgged posture.
Feet an be intresting. thy tap or twith thy an b eampls of lekge, that is, a person is trying to onal sm attitud or information from othrs and is not quit sueeding. Sornon who plays pok regularly may always knor whn on of his friends has a good hand bause, dspite having th traditional giv-nothing-awa poker.fa, his foot twiths. Suh lakage usually ours in th lower half of th ody,
.!hn xaggeration to suggst that whn a \^roman rosss her legs and

Legs an b rossd or unrossed and many writers hav trid to

A gesture whih appeared to hav a ommon meaning all ovr

the end of th nos and th fingrs ar fanned out and somtims waggled. It is gnrally usd ai a gestur of mokery or insult.

uiop was th Ne Thurb, in whih th thumb is plaed on The Fingers Cross, in rhih the first and middl fingers. are twistd iround ah othr and th rmaining fingers r held under th thumb, in ontrast, has sveral manings. It.9 -1'." .Whn somon tlls a li purpos is as a gstur of protetion. i.u *itt ross tir fingrj (somtims using both hands) in th surstitious lif thai this will Prvnt th wra of th gods faliing on thm for thir deit. This maning is most ommon in th Biitish Isls and Sandinavia. In Turky, the gstur is usd to brak a frindship. lswhre it is usd to indiate that somthing is god o'.OK, to swar an oath' or as a symbol for opulation.
hkbne and pulld down to opn th y a littl widr,. mans

proably bause w tak mor trouble to ontrol things lik

faial xprssions.

Anothr interesting phenomnon ts te gestural echo. Wath a

group of peopl onvrsing and not how, rhen on prson uss a gsture, othrs will use it later. As we shall se in th nxt haptr, somthing similar happns rith postur. It also happns, inidntally, with words during onvrsatins.

Te Iid Pull, in whih th forfingr is plad on th

.I am alrt' in Fran, Germany, Yugoslavia and Turky. In .Be alrt'. In Austria, it was found to Spain and ltaly, it mans
signal ordom.

The Nose Tap' in whih th forfinger is tappd on th sid of the nose, onvys ompliity, onfidntiality or an instrution to maintain se'.y in t iitish Isles and Sardinia. In Italy, it
mans

Austria.

.B alrt'. If tap is to th front of th nos, it an man .ind your own usinss' in th British Isles, Holland and

Th gestue maps that Dsmond orris and his tam onstrutd for teir 20 seld gestures Wre' to say th least, fasinating. But they an hav a pratial value as wll. For instan, one g.,to'. Th Thurb Up, is widly usd to rqust lifts by hith-

ik.'. ih world

ovr. ff thy ar travlling throu parts of Blgium, Siily, Sardinia, alta or Gr, howvr, thy should b. i,a' thaiit may b intrprtd as a sxual insult.

lt\
t)

Peoplewathing
anv othr peopl hav arried out osrvations and rsarh
last 1600, and th study f gesture an be into gstursi.,j. "t said io dat bak to Anient Rome, with Ciro,s De ortore. Popl hav bn wathing other popl and rording and inteiprting thir gsturs for a very lng tim indd.

Rnt rsarh has bn more sintifi and systmati. Jvluh of it has foused on rhat happns when ody languag is not usd normally. Psyhiatri patints, as one of thir symptoms' exhiit variaiions-of non-vral bhaviour whih, by th very fact ofbing unusual, rflt a usful light on what is ustomary in vrydayoial intration. From suh linial studis th lat Alert,Shflen, a distinguishd Amrian psyhiatrist, idntifid what he ca||ed qusi-ous|lip bhuiours. Ths ar ehaviours whih ar normal in th ourlship by on prson of another, bt whih mntally ill patints often us inappropriatly towards their therapisti or ther patints; they an, howvr, also obsrved i veryday lif whn on prson is affratd to another. Coutship radiness is usually signalled by.suh things

as high musl ion, rdud

drisd slouh, and less stomah and shouldr sag. Prning hviurs an b obsrvd _ ths inlud strking on's hair, straightning on's ti or othr lothing, and r-pplying mak-

y-agginess-

and jwl

sag,

op. ih.'. ir also ations of appal or invitation suh as flirtatious glans, leg-rossing to expos a thigh, and so on.

tigure 4.1 some 0mm0n gestures

whn it is not thre: onspiuous y its absn, in fat.

illustration of how w only noti th existn ofomeing

Othr rsarh has identifid a phnomnon known as gesturl snhro..As a prson spaks, his or hr bodily movmits kp pa in a kind of dan with th rhhms of sph. Listnri' movemnts also dan to the sam .tun'. as it wr. as th speakr's. In mntally ill patients, this rhhm is missing -.anothr

personality assoiatd with a dsir for natnss and ordrlinss in work, a liking for making plans, a dislik of hang and unrtainty, and a prfren forrganizinglife aording to a rigid shdul. Anotr has shown that authoritarian prsnalities

tnd to us less bodily movment than antiauthoritarians. Daughters withut fthrs hav een found to us mor slf-

kman and Frisn notd that rtain gstures aompany rtain aftituds. A rotting shrug of th hands aompanie flings of unrainty and.onfusion. A hand toss gos with the xpreJsion o.f {ling unal to ontrol one's hiviour. Rptitius foot sliding is notiable when patients ar admid io psyhiatri institutions whreas, on leaving, foot gesturs ar gnerally mor varid and ativ.

touing gesturs than thos rith fathrs. Daughtrs of divores show mi frward lan, mor arm and lg opnness, and mak mor than the tims as many gstiulations or prssiv hand movments as girls who lost thi fathrs bfore th ag of fiv. On researhr has found that whn individuals ar listning to a physially handiappd spake thy mak fwr and smallr gtures than normal. This may b ausd y som unrtainty ibout how to interat with a disald prson.

one rsarh tam found that whr popl ar tiv' With many-non-vral movments, they will ratd as warm' mor .Whn asual, agrabl and nrgeti. th sam pople ar still, with f movmnts' they will b onsidrd mor lgial, old and anali. It is intrsting to not the quation of ovement with nergy. Clearly, if you want to giv an impression of driv and nthusiasm' say, in an intrviW' you an d it by inrased
us ot gestures.

As far as sx differns in gstur ehaviour ar onrned, it womn. If put through two interviWs' mn in th seond intrviw mlk small1 gesturs and mov thir fet lss. For Womn' th rvers is tru. Th reason may be that mn fel mor at as in th sond intfviw whras women find a
sond on mor strssful than the first.
Some rsarh has shown that, whr two popl in onvrsation use th sm kind of gstures and ody movemnts' thy will preiv thmslvs aJ being similar and will lik ah othr "tt.'. From this kind of study it may also b nludd that, wher popl are trying to ommuniat, similarities in.gestural styles may hlpful. Suh similarities an provid a bakground whi may not ven onsiously notid. of

has ben fund that men mak more sating position shifts than

of taking leave of somone. In th last mut or so of an nountr' th prson sking to end it raks ey ontat' lans forward and nods frquntly. Th pak of suh ativity ours in th last 15 sonds for standing. If on is nt thn rleased from the enountr a degre of frustration is xpriend baus it mans th whol produre has to be gon 1hrough again. A learrxam.pl of th importan of attnding to otrs'ignals would b diffiult to find.

Some intrsting studis have bn made of regularities in th at

Gesture psychology
Th kinds of gesturs that individuals us an b rlated to. and an vary with, other psyholgial fators. For instane, personality has a markd fft upon th numrs and varitiei of gsturs usd. Also, w us gesturs to enabl us to mak an assssment about th kind of prsonality an individual has.
One pi of rsarh has reprtd that a majority of womn who sit with thir kns and ft togethr with lgs extnded hav a

I
I
ti

'appoit Open and positiv gsturs and ody movments are mor inhuntial hn sking to persuade somon to your point of vir. opnnss and onfidne in movment ar onsistntly rated by partiipants in experiments as bing more ?gtiv.' positiv-and pot;nt than losd or hesitant gsturs and body
movments (se xris 4 on page 55).

I
5
I

From what has ben said so far in this hapter about th various ways in whih grsturs ar usd in slf-xprssion, it will e lar that thr ar ways of using gstures and body movmnts to
gratr fft.

How to speak body language

prtation. rossing thir legs, and rvaling an xpans of thigh in th pross, an often onvy manings ey riainly do not intnd. Gsturs, espilly of th lower part of th body, may provide an -osrvr with leakag of tru flings you may prfr to onal.
a dgr of onfiden or a.ssur.an is stpling, providd it is not don too oviously r arcificia||. Gstural hos an a usful wy f indiating a gneral sns of identity or sympathy with a group' providd it does not bom too ovious an aftmpt at mimiry.

using any partiular gstur, you should nsidr th ontxtarfully to sur the gestur is appropriate for it. Bar in mind that popl from diffrnt par o the world may undrstand a gstur to mean somting vry diffrnt fro what you .smn Avoid gsturs whih ar open to misintrintnd.

.s7hen

Exerises and experiments

1 The poker player
ry to arrange it so that you an see at least one pIayer's hand' Wath

observe a group of people p|aying poker or some other ard game.

for gestures and body movements when a player gets either a

partiu|arly good or a partiu|arly bad hand. ell-tale behaviour wil| signifiant money stakes. A|ternative|y, observe similar behaviour in a asino. List all the tell-tale gestures you spot, together with a ount of

probably be easiest

to observe when playing for

reasonably

A usful gestur whn attempting to onvey

the frequeny with whih eah ours. Does any individual have a partiular|y harateristi telI-tale gesture?

2 More everyday mime

observe situations in whih Words are an inadequate means of
expression' Examples might be when two people are very muh in Iove, when someone has suffered a bereavement, is espeia|Iy
gratefu| for assistane or a favour, has won a lot of mony, has won

You should try-to as osrvant as possibl of othr pople's gsturs: lik all forms of body language thy an provid auery informativ aompanimnt to what is atually said. u about a prson's prsonality and attituds an b-infrrd from hw ativ thy ar in gsturing.
Quasi-ourtship gstures an usful in tlling you what your rlationship is with a mmbr of th oppositJsx. Tat for signs of a lak of synhrony btwn speeh rhythms and bdy rhythms as-this may ffr lus to a pison,s motional staili

a sporting ontest or re, or is delirious|y happy' List the gestures that are used to communiate the feelings being experiened. How effetive are the gestures and body movements used in supplementing any words spoken? Why are words alone so inadequate in many suh situations?

and gnral mntal halth. B sensitive to others' gsturs whn ap-pars th end of an nountr is approahing. Thr is usually littl purpos t srved y rfusing to rlai somon who larly Wants to tak his or hr lav.

it

3 Sign languages

opn gsturs and body movmnts an a usful way of ommuniating warmth, trust and frindlinss. As W saw abov, thy ar partiulaIly usful whn sking to prsuad somon to hang thir mind or to pursu a ours f ation .!ords they might not othrwis hav folloed. may th primary prsuadrs, y advning fats and logial ",g.'-.,,t., but th rol of body languag in this prosi shoulJ nt b undrstimatd. Ngotiators, argainis and salsmn, for instan, ignor it at thir pril.

pratitioners you happen to know, or any W programme you have seen, for instane), find out something about deaf-and-dumb language or Amerian lndian sign |anguage. How many of the signs are selfexplanatory? How many might be usefu| when ommuniating with someone who does not speak your language?

Using whatever soures re avai|ab|e to you (the loal library'

4 We never lose
Pratise open gestures, suh as unrossed legs, unfo|ded and open arms, palms-outward gestures and the like. How do others respond? How do you feel about using suh gestures? You shou|d be able to ommuniate with others without feeling you have to have your arms folded nd your |egs tight|y rossed before you fee| comfortab|e or 'safe'.

MaIe and femle

observe other people in a variety of soial situations. List as many examples as you an find of gestures that are used exlusive|y by men and exlusive|y by women. Are there any ex|usive|y .gay' gestures? Also list gestures that are predominantly used by men or by women. What kinds of gestures appear to be used equally by men and women? What about New Men? Or Girl Power?

6 Gesturalfavouritism
observe your friends' gestures. What is eah one's favourite gesture (in the sense that they seem to use it more often than any other)? Head srathing? Chin (or berd) stroking? ar pu||ing? Nose touhing? Arm folding? Wrapping one leg tight|y round another in a kind of double |eg ross? Liking the |ips nervous|y? Do you know what your own most harateristi gesture is? You ou|d always ask
your best friend to tell you.

a 1+
s)

'

oC oo
.
fi
f;

o a 1+
g)

I
il
il

o.

ln this chapter You will learn: the role of posture and stane in body Inguage r posture n be a good indiator of an individuI's state of mind at the t.me at whih communication is taking place.

insparabl and has xplored what h alls postur_gesturr mrging. For onvnin, hwvr, w shall trat postur sparately. Thr ar advantags in fousing on ah asprt separatly' as w hav alrady don in prvious haptrs, in th sam Way that on an with spokn languags.
Posture tnds to b ignord somwhat as far as its ommuniativ valu is. onrnd. It has traditionally bn assoiatd with lasss in dportmnt at finishing shools for young ladis and with walking around a room with a ook balaned on th top of-one's had. But it has a muh mor signifiant rol to play than this. Not that dportmnt is unimportant, but it is nl1on aspet of the us of postur.

writr,

Gsturs and posturs ar losly relatd and indd at least on .W.arrn Lamb, has taken th view that thy ar

xerise: walking tall

You may already be the kind of person who regularly maintains an eret posture and, if you are, you might deide to omit this exerise. But the vast majority of readers who do not will find it an interesting, revealing and benefiia| one.
he essene of the exerise is that for the next week you shou|d walk

with your body eret, your shoulde straight and your head held high. Don't streth yourself up artifiia||y, but don't allow your body to sag, your shou|ders to become rounded or your hed to hang. he easiest thing to do is to look ahead rather than down at the ground, to keep your shoulders bak and your stomah in. You should not put too muh effort into this' only as muh as is neessary.

.W

ah hav a reprtoir of postures that W haratristially use though ths rprtoirs ar quit limited. It is possil for us to reognize popl W know at a distane from th posturs thy

typially us. Postur an be a lue to prsonality and to

haratr. Th person who usually holds his ody retoftn has

a quit diffrent tmpramnt from the person who slouhs

about with roundd shouldrs.

After you have pratised moving about like this for a few days, onsider how you feel. Do you feel any different? Do you feel more positive and onfident? Do you fee| more relaxed? Do you fee| physial|y fitter? Do you find you are moving about a little more quikIy? Do you notie more of what is going on around you? Do you find yourse|f thinking quiker and more c|ear|y? What e|se do you notie about yourself? Consider also how other people reat and respond to you. Do they seem warmer and more friendly? Do they seem more ready and wi|ling to interat with you? Do you find yourse|f getting more of your own way in encounters with others? Do they omment at all upon your bearing and omportment? Are there any negative responses to your more eret posture? Do you notie any other hanges in other people's behaviour towards you?

down. Thr a many variations on ths, dpending upon th diffrnt positions of t arms and legs, anj th variou"s agls at whih th body may hld. on Amerian rsearhr, Ray Birdwhistll, has produd a very ompliatd lassifiation of possibl posturs' ut som ar used only in partiular ulturs (like th Japanse ow on grting) and any partiular individual will hav a narrow rang of prfrrd postures.
Ths preferrd posturs rall a prson's past. Popl who hav, hav rovrd and rsumd normal livs. It may that hanging posturl patterns is an important part of th pross of hanging

Thr ar thr main kinds of postur: standing, sitting (with whih may also b inludd squatting and knling) and lying

As in previous exerises, you shou|d note or reord as many of

your own and others' responses to these questions as possible.

at som tim in thir livs, gon throu prolngd prids of depression, for instane, still stoop and sag evn yars aftr thy

postrrr' you will proably have notd a numbr of things from this xris. It is quit likely, thou not inevitabl, that you will

If you hav not en austomd to moving around with an rt

xerise review

ommuniativ rlatinships with othrs.

attituds and

of imprving th ability to

stlish posiiiv,

b eginning to fl rather mor positiv and onfidnt in your

vrydy ativitis. It is pssibl that, paradoxiay, although you hav n trying to maintain an rt postur' whih may wll hav required a little ffort and onentration at first, you hav found your nw postur mor omfortabl and rlaxing. You will prbaly fl fittr physially and will tnd to e walking a little mor quikly, without fling that you ar hurrying.

You will rtainly be notiing mor of rhat is going on around you and you may find yourslf rating mor quikly. Your thinking gnerally may b larr and mor pris, as wll as fastr. Any thr hangs you hav notied in yurslf should
mostly be welom and positiv ons.

As far as th rations of othrs ar onrnd, you should b finding that thy appal to e responding to you with greatf warmth and frindliness and that thy ar mor willing to intefat with you. You might find that your point of viw is apted mor radily and mor oftn (this may partly b eaus an rt postur is ommonly usd y naturally dominant individuals). Any ommnts that hav ben passd on your newly assumd postur will tnd to b omplimntary rathI than drogatory. |f thr hav bn any ngativ
th postur. This is something you nd to guard against in
arrying out riss lik this. ommnts' thy my hav ben that you wr slightly overdoing

Mind-reading through posture

No on Wants to
suggst that you an tll th dtails of what somon is thinking simply from obsrving thir postur. It is possibl, though, to tll a grat dal about thir state of mind;

i
figur 5'1 What do thrsr postures te|| you about the peopl 0ncerned?

whthr they are hopful

dominant or submissiv, and so on. For instan, thos who ar fling hopful, onfidnt or dominant will gnrally adopt more rt ody posturs than thos who ar fling dpressd, shy r

or

dprssd, onfidnt

or

shy,

sumissiv. Postur obsrvatin is thus a usful ativity' partiulally befor an nountr gins, s it an guid us in dtermining what might the most produtiv approah to make to anothI prson. Posturs also hav the advantag that thy an b auratly osrvd at som distane, unlik, for
eampl, faial xprssions, where a gteater dgr of prximity is nssary.

Positive attitudes towards othrs tnd to be aompanid y leaning forward, spially whn siing down. Ngativ or

hostile attitudes ar signalled by leaning bakwards. An

unsympathti attitud towards anot.hr prson an b shown y arms foldd aross th hst. If th arms ar hld losly down by the sids of th ody, this is usually intrprtd as openness, assiility and a gneral willingnss to intrat.

Lik othr aspts of body language, posturs hav paffrns and thus ontain an lemnt of prditability. one psyhiatrist has found that a patint an adpt a partiular postur vry tim h talks about his mothr and a quit diffrent on very tim h
talks about his father.
It has bn found that, whn people are standing around talking in groups, thos who ar really.in'th group hav quite diffrnt

Lowr status is oftn shown y bowing th had, losd dy positions (as if to prott onslf frm atta and holding th. ody to mak it appar smallr (and presumably thrfore lss of thrat) than it atually is. lt is as if popl of lowr status want to show th world that thy ar smallr, wakr and mor defensiv than thir hir status brothers and sisters.
.W,hr

postural pattrns than thos who ar not quit so favourd. outsiders typially stand with th wight on one foot, whras insiders will lan forward a littl with head tippd forward.

Albrt Ivlhrabian, f whos work w shall b larning more shortly, mad som intrsting disovris about posture. A relaxd attitudr in an nounter, fr instan, is signalled by asymmtrial arm and leg positions, a sidways lan, loosly hld hands and a bakwards lan of th ody. This postur is most frequntly used whn an individual rgards othrs prsnt
man in the ompany of womn. Lss rlaxed posturs ar usd whn th othrs prsnt ar dislikd.
as being of qual or lowr status to himslf. It is usd mor by a

high status is indiatd by an upright postur with th head hld high it may b that, as if to shw that this hi stafus is nt nssarily a thrat, th hands will oftn lasped bhind ak. But the thrat may not disappar altogtlrr, for th had may b hld with th forhead out in front (as if th individual is threatning to butt anyone who sriously hallngs his position).

Aggrssion and thratning bhaviour normally onsist of a prssivly xaggrated xhiition of high status or dominant hiviour. Hands may not hld bhind th bak, but may held by th sid with th fists lnhed in readinss. And th
forhad (or somtimes th jaw) may jut out mor.oviously. Somtimes, howver, a relaxd postur an hav an aggrssiv purpose' espially in ontexts whr an upright postur would xptd (as in a disiplinary intrviw). xtrem rlaxatlon of poitur may b used to signify a rjtion and total lak of for authority. Nvrthlss, it is mostly ommon for '.spet to tnse oth when threatning othrs or bing poJtur aggrssiv towards thm and whn being threatnd or at th riving nd f aggressiv behaviour. Crtainly, it is -mor usually ihe as that a tns individual is more to b fared than a relaxd prson. Somon who is tnse is larly losr to taking physial ation than somon who is rlaxo.

Proaly on of th most intrsting of hraian's findings (for mn, at any rat) is that womn, whn sitting, adopt an opn-arm postur in th prsen of somon thy lik. If th arms ar usually aompanis indiffrn or dislik.

foldd aross th bosom, this indiates lak of rlaxation and

lnm

the king of the astle

- in
a snse all

In th signalling of status' thrat and aggrssion

inrasingly xtrme vrsions of th sam haviour _ postur has an important rol to play. At its simplst, high status an b signalld y an upright postuf and its opposite, sumissivnss and humility, by a slouh or a gnrally sagging postur.

l'm inlined to like you

Albrt hraian has mad som intrsting disovris about th rlationship btwen postur and liking. Fof instan' h fund that whe popl like eah other they tnd to lan towards ah other. This ppars to b th as whatvr the degr of liking, from mild aptane of anothr's ontinud Prsne to
th losst inter-prsonal intimay.

quality of status is oftn indiatd by mathing posturs - that is, the partiipants in an nountr show rmarkal similarity in th posturs thy adopt. If one prson stands with his hands in his pokts, th othr will, too. If on sits laning bak in a hair with one leg rossd ovr th othr, with the ankl lying afoss a kn in an open lg-ross, thn th other person will
ho this postur.

sidways lean whn satd was found to b an index of rlaxation and modrat degrs of lean showd frindlinss. n showd the last sideways lan and th least body relaxation with other mn whom thy dislikd intnsly..Womn, howvr,

showd th most sidways lan with other men and womn whom thy dislikd. ln won who wer sitting down, plaing of th arms and lgs in an pn postur onvyd liking for older and youngr individuals ut nt for thos of th sam age. An arms akimbo position was muh mor likly to b usd in th prsne of individuals of lowr status than in the prsn of ^those
holding highr status. This was also tru for a raisd rlaxd hand a''d body posturs, and sidways lan whn .Women

ovious disovrl5. one suh is te tt to whih ptiipan ln an nol tlntr opy ah othr,s posturs. This postural-ho mans that if on pis', lasps his hands tgethr or rosss his lgs or..folds his.arms, othrs will follow. Th tndny is ially. markd whr thr is a high dgr f rapport
btwn th individuals onrnd.

head, satd. may lan Sxual invitation an b indiatd by postur. forward and bring their arms losr in to th ody s that this prsss thir brasts togthr and dpns lavag. n, spially youngI men, tfpially stand wiih th thum hookj tlo'l(u urLU Llutr PULL' wlLll Lll fists ovr trousr Warsts or hookd into trousr pokts, with th llDLD
vry losly lnhd.

Conversly, thr an b postural onflit, -in whih peopl dlierateiy adopt posturJ diffrnt from thos assumd. by
othrs. This is usually don to emphasiz diffrens and to pla .distan, twn on person and another. Posturs an also b

kman and Frisn found that, whilst faial xpression mor information about motions, postur showd th dgr of intensity. othr rsarhrs have fund that posturs say a lot
be sn in about a person,s motional stat. The "*t,.-.J.",, posturs of som mental patints. Dprssivs drop, ar sit brooding nd looking downwards. Manis (th opposit sll'w rrr'ri depressivs) are alrt, rt and thir bodis show a high

gav

usd to mark th boundaris of an intration. Arms may b pld in suh a wa, and lgs stuk out, to show that this is a g'oop and that intrudrs will not e wlom. Somtims it may . dn so that, short of physial violne, it is impossibl to in pus and

of tnsnss in

postur.

the listless,of LrA* dgr

fl.T"x1;Jff;x}:J':Ly"}|"d.."t. Albrt Shefln obsrved that in quasi-ourtship

with postur, as with all othr aspts of body languag, ontinuing rsarh is nessary to xplain and stablish any
ttIl l'rrr LU def unpted findings and to c|adf thse whih seem to Er

xampl, should opn posturs whn usd y omn indiat liking in the prsn of oldr and youngr pople but not for thos of th Jam ag? It is not lar. It may be that thr is an undisovrd dft in th xprimntal proedur. Crtainly

Som

of ths findings ar diffiult to intrprt. Why,

for

postural shifts ourrd whih rr similar to thos sn in ral iurtship. squnes. This haviour ours ommonly whn pople. oi thj opposit sx ar nvrsing. Grooming (stroking the ti) is followed by th adoption f th. "i, o, 't'".''ing (fae to fac or sid by sid). In the an appropriat positioning

haviour

::h:i:flT,jilJjJ*,1lfio3;.:,fl?',.xl;*:li:'J.:i]

vn tough t situation is not an ovrtly su.al on. This may so mard that thr may ven b vral dislaimrs from on

or othrr prson to indiat that th ehaviour is not mant

proprxplanationatprsnt.

o a

Nvrthless, it sems to b pretty wll stablished that forward with a rlaxed posture is on way of showing someon that you lik them. No nd to bnd doule, of our: her, as lswhr, balan is nssary (in this as litrally as wll as

laning
.

sriously. .\.L^- ^L:4}^ ,i. *+rr ^..,'".,{ tn mark faoc in nnv othr shifts in postur ar usd to marL stags onYrsation. For xample, whn thre is a hang in topi from a gnral ,ujt to^a mor intimat.or pdvat on' ther will also e a

mtaphorially).

*x3.,,"3..,'.*.*'1,iJi:-j"ffi.:.''.'.,?ff: ffii;:;:; suh as moving from dramlss slep into th- kind of R (rapid y. -ount) slp whih aompanies drming..Thes l'i postur ar so igular that thy ar prdital and 'iits a.pattrn. Undrstndaly, it is an ara whih has follow
reivd a good dal of rsrh affntion.

Posture researh
In addition to the findings that hav. akead bn
postur rsarh has unarthd som other and not

immediatly

rported,

Anintrstingaaof rsarhintopostur (andinded,gstur)

who f,ossess what on may all

ll*:?:*:fiiJil3i:.ffi..h;:';,:*jJi#:.};*:.,i*:;j .prsn',

or an air o{ distintion

and high status' xhiit very fw hangs in posture and us vry fw gsturs. This low peripheral movmnt' as it is termd, is the mmrs of roa|t nd whn snior statesmn ar bing shown.

Exerises and experiments

1 Have you the inclination?
|eaning slightly towards them. You shou|d notice that this enourages them to talk more, makes them feel you are more interested in what

kind of bhaviour that an radily obsrved on TV whn

Next time you are sitting talking to someone you know well, try

Rsarh has also ben arrid out into th rlationship between postur and personality fators. Folded arms in a kind of slfwrapping postur indiate withdrawal and a desir for slf-

prottion' spially of th brasts. It is, therefor' mor ommon among Womn than mn. Talking with th shouldrs hld in shrug position and with the palms faing outward
indiats helplssnss and inadquay.

they have to say and general|y results in a more satisfatory

enounter. Then, on an oasion after that, try |eaning bak and away from them. You shou|d notie that they tend to talk |ess, feel you are less interested in them and show signs of not being completely happy with the way the enounter is being onducted.

Exaggerated postures
Pstur rflts a prson's body imag (ompar th posturs of two young girls, one of whom is ashamd of hr brasts and th othr of whom is proud of thm) and has an important part to

am your mirror

play in slf-prsntation (on an us postlrr as an aid in

dliratly projeting a patticu|at prsonality). Posture has always, thrfor, bn of onsiderabl intrst - as hv gsturs _ to thos involvd in dramati prforman and publi spaking. In ths ativitis, postur frquntly has to b

observe how, in enounters in everyday life and on W, the partiipating individua|s opy or eho eah other's postures. Compare situations in whih ehoing is present with those in whih it is not. You shou|d find that, where there is evidene of ehoing, the interation proeeds more

smoothIy, there appears to be a better reIationship between partiipants and the Whole event |ooks more natural. Conversely, where ehoing is

xaggrated in ordr to asily obsrvabl y an audine. It is useful, thn, to osrv ators and politiians beaus this an

various situations.

hlp in idntifying th postures (and, indd, othr aspets of body languag) whih ar appropriat or inappropriat to

absent, you should notie signs of frition, more disagreement and a general sense of people being i|l at ease. lf you try to use postura| eho, it is important that you do it as unobtrusively as possib|e. |f you hnge your posture immediate|y the other person hanges his or hers, this wi|| be more off-putting than if there is no postural echo at all. They may even feel that you are onsiously trying to mimi them, whih they wil| find very unsettling.

xaggratd postures an also obsrvd in th bhaviour of thos who ar drunk. Hr, though, thr is littl to gained through emulatin sin most peopl will rat ngatively to th haviour of drunks. Thy will not rish to b assoiatd in any .!itnss th words of the old song: way with them.

3 Sit

up straight

ry sitting up reasonably straight in some enounters and deIiberately s|ouhing in your seat in others. Note the reations of others to this

B the o?pa he hooses, d the pig got up ad slol ullked ul. Adopt the postur of one who is drunk and you will soon find out who your frinds are.

You an tell th m ho boozs

behaviour. You should find that they respond more positively, with greater warmth and friendliness, make the enounter last |onger and seek further enounters, when your posture is upright than when it is slouhed, but not if it is too rigidIy upright.

4 Who's drunk?
Observe the behaviour of people who are drunk and note how the behaviour of others hanges towards them. Some peop|e wil| be toIerant and even a little amused, but most will tend to avoid ontat if they an and shorten it if they an't. Why is this? Speultion on the possib|e reasons may shed light on the importane of posture, sine

those who are drunk are usua|ly unab|e to ontro| their posture even with great effort. lf a person is genuinely drunk it is almost impossible for them to hide it, though it may be easier if they sit down.

5 Putting

on an at

hanges in posture appear to be exaggerated beyond what is norma| in everyday |ife. xamp|es might be a po|itiian sudden|y lening forward towards his audiene in the middle of a speech or an ator de|iberately turning his bak on another. Why is there a need for exaggeration of posture or of postural hanges in ontexts |ike these? Try to identify as many possib|e reasons as you an. Some are:

observe publi speakers and ators and note instanes when

I
I

. r

the distane between speaker and listener is greater and

exaggeration is neessary for the sake of larity dramati performanes of any kind rely upon a ertin amount of exaggeration for purposes of emphasis m of those engaged in ating out a role tend to be the kind of people who ustomari|y exaggerate their posture (as welI as other aspets of body language) to some extent.

6 Come on
rossing your arms in front of the body, turning your body away from the people you're speaking to, and using posture to prevent others entering an interation. hen pratise the converse of these: open postures. Make greater use of open-paIm posture' faing peop|e and
|eaning towards others s|ightly. Note both how others reat differentIy to open posture and also how you fee| about being more postur||y open towards others. You should find that there is a |ear preferene in most situations, both by yourself and by others, for openness.

ln encounters, practise |osed postures by rossing your |egs'

o oo x
'
-l

g)

r+

II

1+ -l t+ rl

s)

ln this chapter you will learn:

a.

about proximity and orientation orjenttion an tell us a good

the oncept of peonal spae'

dealabout individuals
human behaviour

together with territoriality

in

the onept of
spae.

defensible

i
.W

hav alrady nountrd, in Chaptr 4, on of the sudisiplins of non-verbal ommuniation, kinsis, or th study of body movmnts. Anothr sub-disiplin is proetnis, or th study of th us of spa when ommuniating' How los we are to popl and whthr w ar faing towards thm or away an afft th intration rhih takes pla in signifiant and
ftn prditabl ways.

I
I

Th intrvir. in ah as Was in four two-minut parts. Th

dward Hall, who oind th trm promis, dfind four

zones in th us of spae.

From zeto to on and a half ft (0-0.5 m) h alld

intimate zor'e, in whih popl ar atually touhing or ar asily able to touh ah othr. Th sond zn is personI and xtnds from on and a half to four feet. (0.5-7.2 m) and hr peopl ar abl to shake hands or are' at most' no mor than arms' lngth from ah Th third is te socil.onsultiue zon and runs from four to ten ft (L.2-3m). It is most ommonly usd in vryday nountrrs of a sial or businss natur. Th final zon h alld the publi zone and this xtnds from tn ft (3 m) outwards.
othr.

th

.poliman' asked ah Pfson abut the ontnts of his wallt. For oth groups' th offir rmained fur ft (1.2 m) from th individual during th first fwo minuts. At th bginning of th sond t.o minuts, h asually movd forward until h was about fwo feet (0.6 m) away. In the third two minuts, he movd to within a few inhs with th svr rowding group, but rmaind at two ft (0.6 m) with th mild rowding group. In th last two minuts, h moved ak to th two fet (0.6 m) distan with th svr rowding group and simply rmained where h was for th mild rowding group. H was told to maintain y ontat with all his intrviws in all parts of th intrview.

Thos who wr in the svr rowding group rated vry .poliman'was at his losst diffrntly from normal whn the

. .

was an inras in y movemnts and gaze aversion. Thy adoptd positions whih nabld them to plae thir arms and

to thm. Thir speh bam disruptd and disorganizd. Ther

Hall furthr sub-dividd ah zon into los andnot lose areas.

Larning to use sp more efftively will help us to takr an stp important.\V' forward in our dvloping mastry of body
languag.

hands betwn themslvs and th intrviWr. Thy oftn hld thir hands laspd prottivly at roth lvl lik footballrs waiting for a fre kik to b takn and wr genrally muh mor nervous and restlss when th intrviwer had invadd thir personal spae by approahing to losly. This dmonstrats ihe powiof proximity and shows that, lik othr aspts of body languag' w nd to inras our sensitivity in using it.

shall nsidr fiv main aspts:

the

horizontal, vrtial and asymmtri orintations how status is shown y proximity and orintation vrhat happns whn popl om too lose

fa-to-fa ommuniatin

ffts of diffrnt kinds of sating arrangments upon

xerise: compet.tion yensus ooperation

.X' indiates that a Figure 6.1 shows a table and six hairs' he
person you are about to meet is sitting there. What you have to do

is deide whih hair you wou|d oupy in eah of the fol|owing

situations:

to mak intration with otlrrs asir, mor omfortal and

mor fftiv.

som of th ways in whih w an us prximity and orintation

a You b

On ' intrsting exprimnt arrid out by Jams Baxtr and Rihard Rozll illustrats th oftn dramati ffts of hanging th distane betwn popl whn thy are ommuniating. Thy sltd two groups f popl, on to b sujtd to vry los fa-to-fa intrviewing y smeon playing th rol of a polie ffir and on to undrgo a lssr dgre of proimity. They alled thes two situations svr rowding and mild rowding.

are going to p|ay a game of hess with this person and it is important for you to win. Plae an A on the seat you hoose. You are going to he|p the person omp|ete a rossword puzz|e. P|ae a B on the seat you hoose. You are going to interview the person for a job in a small, friendly organization. P|ae a C on the seat you hoose.

Now, on Figure 6.2 p|ae an X for the other person and a o for yourse|f on the seats you would onsider most appropriate if you were going to ondut a forma| disiplinary interview.

I
't

xerise review
Aording to the researh that has been done, you are most Iikely to have piked ertain positions for eah of the situtions posed in the exerise. For a, you will probab|y have piked the seat immediately opposite the person against whom you Were to p|ay a game of hess. As we sha|| see |ater, we tend to sit opposite peop|e We are ompeting against' |t may have something to do with the fat tht We like to be in a position from whih We an see evehing an adversary does.
For b, you wi|l probably have hosen the seat next to the person you were to help (that is, the seat to the right of the one marked X). We tend to sit a|ongside people if we are in a ooperative re|ationship with them. There is, perhaps, not suh a great need to keep an eye on what someone is doing when we are not ompeting against them.

Iigre

6.1 ho0se

a seat

person, at the end of the tab|e. Again, as we sha|| see, suh diagonal seating anangements have been shown to be particularly useful for interviewing situations.

For c, you probably seleted the seat diagona|ly to the left of the

When you were seleting positions for a disip|inary interview, the hanes are that you p|aed yourself at the opposite end of the table from the person you were to reprimand. lt is probably natural to want to distane onese|f from what is |ikely to be an unp|easant task- |t may, however, be that the diagonal seating arrangement used for other kinds of interviews may take some of the edge off the situation. Look at the exercise again and try to visualize the interation that wou|d take plae in eah possib|e ombination of seats. You should feel that the diagonal arrangement offers the best ompromise between the overly forma| and the too asual. lf you do not feel this Way at the moment, perhaps you wil| hange your mind when you have read through the rest of the hapter.

Seating arrangements
ligre

!her popl hoos to sit in th various situations in whih

6.2 position for
a disipIinary intrview

thy find ihmslves rvals rtain prditable paffrns of bhaviour. But whr thy hoos to sit may not always be th bst position for them to ahiev what thy wish to ahiv. For insta, letur room will tend to fill up from the bak forwards. Yet' pople hav presumably gone along to hear what somon has to say: it would, surly, r to oupy a sat
at th front rather than th bak.

ments for intrviws

Similarly, many popl adopt absurdly formal sating arrang-

pla, that is, th fullst and frest pssibl xhange of information and viws. Individuals wh go into bars and othr soial sttings in th hop of mting someon thy an talk to will oftn sek a sat in a orner or in som othr position from whih thy an obsrv. Ths are not' howvr, positions that othrs are likly to drawn to - far bffr to plae onslf boldly in th ntr of movmnt and ativity: most likly a sat
at th ountr in a ar ot at a tabl nar th ountr if thos sats

rathr than enourage th vry thing that is supposd to tak

- arfangmnts that an

b shown to

inhibit

ar all oupid.

ligur 6.3 mehrbian's zig-zag dsign f0r cafeteri tab|s

Alrt Mehraian, whos work w have nountrd efore,

mad som intrsting suggstions for thos who find thmselves alone in a publi pla, prhaps in a strang ity, and who wish to leav th possiility of talking to somon ls opn. Fairly

obviously, sitting with your bak to othr peopl prsnt will tnd to prlud suh a possibility. Sitting faing may wll a littl daunting' not only for th prson taking up suh a position,

ut also for the popl a|tead there. Sitting at an angl offrs a good ompromis. It prvnts too muh initial losnss and it dos offer th han of joining in a onvrsation at a later stag if this oms appropriat. In fat hrabian suggstd a zigzag design for bar and aftria tabls and ountrs, whih h feels would nourag suh inrasd ontats (see Figure 6.3).

As w saw in th xerise, those whose rlatinship with ah othr is omptitiv will tnd to sit faing ah othr. Thos whose rlationship or task is a oprativ on will tnd to sit sid by sid. Nt nly are thse psitions naturally taken up bI P9'l popl in suh situations, y an be usd to nourag th kind f bhviour dsid. That is to say, if you plae peopl opposit ah othr thy will tnd to ompte: if you plae them-side.by sid, thy will muh mor likly to ooprat. This findjng has. usful ipations for diding sating arrangmnts at plas of

As you an s' this provids a vry flxibl arrangmnt in

whih groups of peple an onvrse, whil at th sam tim laving it open for popl to kp themslvs to thmselves if thy wish. If th sats ar on swivls, this inrass th flxiility
of th arrangmnt.

work and in metings and onfrns. It is interesting to spulate on what th ffit b in, sa, industrial ngotiations if a sating arrangemnt other than th traditional aross-th-tabl on w'. to b usd. It is also fairly lar that King Athur's round tal, giving quality to all th partiipnts, antiipatd som of the rnt rsearh into non-vrbal ommuniation. In intrviews, th positions whih are harateristially taken up intrviws, popl will tnd to sit opposit ah othr and as far away as thJof th tale will prmit. r qtill any pple who will adopt th sam positions in othr kinds of intrviws, suh as job sltion, oun.slling and prfrmane appraisal. Yt
are nt always th st vailal. As w saw earlier, for disiplina.ry

In a aftria of th traditional dsign with squar or slightly olong tabls, an .adjaent sids at right angles, rrangmnt is favourd y popl who wish to talk to ah other. Pople who do not wish to talk tend to sit opposit on another if th tabls ar squar. If th tabls ar oblong, and whr thr ar, say, two sats at ithr sid of th tal and on at ah nd (as in th xris you did arlir), people who wish to talk will sit ithr dirtly opposit ah othr or diagonally aross th ornr at
on nd. People who do not wish to talk will sit ithr at the nds or diagonally opposit ah othr on ah sid.

th rsearh that has ben dne Juggsis that, sin the purpos of most intrws is to otain or giv information and opinions, th diagonal position at th orner of a tabl is prferabl whn thr

ar-only.two peopl - intrviewer and intrviw * involvd. Genrjly spaking, it is bttr to hav an informal seirg than a formal oi'.. sii"g omfortabl hais rith a low bl lads to the exhang of mor information than the kind of fotmal setting .top tabl, and th in whih t intviewrs sit along a sort of
interviw sits at a sparat small table in front of it.

Why do psyhiatrists have ouhes?

Orintation is usually dfind as th dgr f th angl betwen a lin joining on person to anothr and th diretion in whih th prson under onsidration is faing. Thus, whn two popl ar faing ah othr dirtly, this is 0.. It has bn found that th furthr apart fwo pople ar, th mor likely it is that the angl of orientation will b 0..
symmetrial on mans th popl involvd arc face to fa, ak to ak, or their angls of orientation ar th sam (that is, both ar' say. a third or a halt turn away from ah othr). An say' thrrd of a|f trom asymmtrial orintation is on in whih th angls ar diffrnt, as whn one prson is faing diretly, ut th othr is half-turnd

In onsidring positioning as an aspet of orintation, it is

Statusn proximity and orientation

orintation may also b symmtrial

asymmtrial.

intresting to ot how status is both onveyd y positioning and an b onfrrd by it. It has bn notid' for instan, that popl who sit at ithr nd of the tale in a jury room are most .had of th tabl' position is, thn, a ft ltd formen: the quit larly assiatd with highr status. It has raliry and is ao n obsrvd that snior popl align thmslvs on th right-hand sid of a hosn leadr, whih mans that th trm .right-hand man' may b basd n what atually happens. Bing highr up, for instan on a rostrum o simply y.bing talli, pults a pe''on in a dminating position. Leadrs tnd to e tallr and thi is mphasizd by th rlatively few wll-knorvn historial leadrs who rrr on th short sid. Howvr, it has also bn somwhat onfusingly obsrvd that leadrs tnd to sit down whilst others stand.

away. Asymmtrial orintations permit losr proximiry than those whih ar syllrmtrial, spially when oth ar faing. Bak-to-ak orintations mak ommuniation diffiult baus, evn ough vrbal mssags may still b undrstood, the fat <if not eing abl to osrv ah other,s ody languag means a larg part of th total mssage has n rmovd. hraian has lulated from his own researhs that as muh as 93" of te mssag in a fa-to-fa nounter is non-vral, laving on| 7o for th verbal (we shall rturn to this point in Chaptr 11).

In som

faing or not. In th vrtial plan, th intrest is in whthr th person onrnd is highr up or lowr down thn anothr. Bing higher up than anothr prson, or vn simply eing tallr, signifiantly affts th interation whih taks pla. down than whn standing up. Popl lg down tend to rmmbr mor' generally. mory reall is a ngativly alrated funtion of tim, that is to say, more is ralld in the first fw minuts. Peopl will be mor imaginativ .s7,hn and rfltiv whn lying down, ut lss reptiv to ation. standing, thou tnds to result mor radily in ation, but is less rsponsive to nw suggstions and to los xamination of a topi. Disions r made fastr and more strongly whn standing. This may aount for th 5 'ggstion mad y at last one authority on managmnt thniqus that daily ation onfrnes by managrs should b takn standing,up rather than the mor normal sitting round a tabl. And the findings about how pople remmr mor and are mor rflivwhn lying down mayhav some earing on the answr to th qustion with whih w startd this stion.
Ppl behav diffrndy whn

horizontal plane the main onrn is whthr th orintation is

Orintation an b horizontal or

it an b vrtial. In

the

intrsting primnts, th behaviour of ppl ntring offis has_bn studid for what it an tll us about how w signal our status to othrs. It ras observd that lowstatus individuals tnd to stay nar th door on ntring. Thos- of highr status approah the dsk. Those of qual status will om-in and sit dolin next to a prson's dsk. Frinds ar mt by th individual whos offi itls oming out from bhind th
desk.

Proximity and orintation, thn, an usd not

important on.

status but also to sk its eing aordd to us y others. Althou it is not th only fator to be onsiderd, it is nevrthless an

o-nly to indiat

lg

Don't come any Ioser

Robrt Sommr has dfind what h alls prsonal spae as that ara around ah of us rhih w do not lik othrs to entr .W- xpt y invitation or undr rtain spial irumstans. arry this prsonal spa around with us rvhrvr w9 g9. It .*t.',d' ratr furthi in front of us than to th sids and is last
hind our baks.

In rwds, re ar prepard to aPt less prsonal spa-than normal. On esarhe1 has stimatd that in dns rowds r hav si to ight squar ft (0.5*0.75 sq. m) ah, wheas in
loos rowds w ha1 about ten squaf ft (1 sq. m) ah.

Somtims our personal spa is dliberately invadd by othrs for a partiular reason. In th exprimnt rportd at th ginning of this haptr, th svr rowding y th interviwer is similar to tatis oftn usd y polie interrogators. Amerian polimn ar somtims traind to sit los to a suspt' rith no tal or dsk twn thm. Thy gradually mov thi hair forward during th intrrogation so that after a tim on of the suspt,s kns is

t:
i1

If prsonal spa is violatd, peopl will mov away frm th

inirudr but maintain thir diret orientation towards ah

othr, as if to rmind the intruder that his or hr presn is not wlom and that thy will rsum thir formr positions as soon
as h or sh has had th good sens to mov on. Somtims, if the

intrudr prsists in rmaining, popl will hang thir orienta-

just twn th poliman's kns. Suh losness, whn

uninvitd, is almost always privd as thratning.

tion away from th intrudr in ordr to mphasiz thir rejtion of th invasion.

Lovrs will apt gratr proimity from ah othr, ut vn hr it is intrsting to not at thy almost always los thir ys whn kissing. Sin thy approah vry lose and gaze into ah othr's ys for muh of th time, tlrr would sm to be no logial rason why they should los thir ys for th most njoyal pa of th intraion. It may that ven in this instan sm illusion of personal spa, mad by losing th yes, is nssary.

A numbr of othr intresting obsrvations hav

bn mad of th us of orintation as a non-vrbal ommuniation tool. For

instan, during arrivals and dparturs orintation

tak status into aount' as in th frquntly

rasonably pafrrl living, h has found that rtain housing dss ar mor likly to lad to troubl with nours than othrs. Th idea hs bn dvloped of dfesible space. What this mans is that we eah nd an area in whih to liv that W an protet against

Sommr's studies hav shd an intrsting light on human trritoriality. In his strrdis of th kind of spi popl nd for

observd phenomnon of popl baking away from high-status peopl for turning. thii may ithr hav its roots in the longstablished adition of baking out of th presne of royalry, or it may b that that partiular ustom aros out of a natural dfren to status. Popl who hav a onspiratorial rlationship with othe''*.will .sidling, t.nd to approah from te side, litrally }P t9 a fllow plottr. Iii surprising how often this ativity an b oservd at politial mtings and onfrns, togthr with the kind of iurning away from the gneral intration mntind arlir.

will oftn

tnsions, whih may vry quikly dvlop into opn hostility and aggressiv haour. Howvr, Sommr mntions that popl in a pla like Hong Kong sm to hav adaptd to rstritions on spa rasonly wll. H tells us that th Hong Kong Housing Authority uilds low-ost aorrrrnodation on th basis of about 35 squar ft (3.25 sq. m) pe prson.!'hn he askd what th fft would of inrasing tlr allowan, h was told..With 60 square fet (5.5 sq. m) per pfson, the tenants would sub.let.' In prvnting violations of prsonal spae, orintation an oftn usd as a trritorial markr. 'W. ar rlutant to pass btwn dtr invasions of our mutul personal spa. It is possibl to sit

plad, and tnd to throw popl togthr too muh, this will lad to

unwantd intrusion by oths. If flats are too small, too losly

Orintation in rowded onditions an exhiit intersting variations from normal haviour. Pople in lifts, on publi transport and t footall maths will usually avoid a dirt orieniation. In situations in whih the rowding is so svre that th ody annot turnd al/ay' th head will b. This is perhaps most frequntly osrvd in.ommutr trains and on

thr ass-transitystms wher popl are so rowdd togther that thy ar touhing. Anothr phenomnon often obsrvd on undrground tu trains is that people will sit rigidly, making as fw ovmnts as possible, and fixdly staring into spe, avoiding all ey ontat with others.

two pple, so faing th prson w ar intrating with will

rlutant to ross ovr them. In fat, th angl of orinttion an regulat th dgre of privay in a onvrsation. Pople who ar exhanging onfidnes will oftn turn away from th genral intration in order to disourag intruders.

at an angl in suh a wa as to los off an intration to intrudrs, y strthing th lgs out so that othrs will be

Both men and women us a dirt orintation for disliked highstatus mn (to kp a los y on what thy might do to thratn thm?) but us an indirt orintation for low.status womn (partly turning away from someon who is preived as nt ing.vry important?). It sms to th asr that where th thrat pointial is highst, th orinttion is the most dirt. It an be interesting to obsrve how diffrn popl orintat thmslvs to the boss and to th lanr or janitor.

.s-hn

womn are talking togther, thy will stand losr to eah othr and will us a mor dirt orintation thn whn mn ar talking togthr. This is ut on of th many diffrns twen the sxs in th us of body languag. Suh individual differns
haptrs in this book.

and ultural diffrns will b apparnt in svral of th

on phenomnon whih shows som unusual haviour is in th

rmov any possibl stranger thrat and to prmit easir rtrat if thy indiat thy do not wish t talk to you' without loss of f.ace. |f approah is allowd, you an swith to a more dirt orintation at an appropriat point.
It is worth noting that mutual gazing inreass with an indirt body orintation. As W saw in Chaptr 1, inrased ey ontat will nhan the possiilitis of sussful intration.
So th balan of orintation with othr aspts of ody languag nds to arfully wathd for nouraging othrs to intrat. It is somthing whih an b usd to hlp us to ommuniat non-

A non-prson is anyon W at towards as if thy wre not thr. ampls of suh haviour might b:
as of pople rgarding othrs as non-prsons.

popl in their pyjamas or night-dresses opning door to postmn and milkmn and fling no marrassmnt in doing
so.

prsnt diners onvrsing and ignoring waitrs

dotors disussing hospital patints whn thos patints ar

vrally mor fftively with othrs. It is thus anothr usful

wapon in ou armoury whih w should not nglt.

Exercises and experiments

1 Who is the boss around here?
ry to observe a |arge open-p|an ofiie. See
lf you an determine, on the basis of howspae is a|Ioated and how peop|e present use proximity and orientation, who the high-status individuals are. Do they sit in some degree of isolation from the others? Do they have larger desks? Do they have more iru|ation space around their desks? Do they tend to sit at one end of the room or in the middle? What otherterritorial markers an you identify? How do the others approah the desks of superiors? How

Somon who is a non-prson or a .fly on th rall'has a uniqu opportunity to osrv human bhaviour whih is dnied to th rst ot us.

Making interation easier

The mor dirt th dgr of orintation, th mor affntion is normally eing paid. If an indiret orintation is usd, this will usually man th involvmnt in th onversation is lss. In suh a as' thr may b oasional turns of th had towards onversation partnrs just to show that on has not swithed off altogthr. If you turn your bak on somon' this will stop a onvrsation dad. This may wll b why it is oftn rgarded s th hight of rudnss to do this. Faing anothr nd turning th had away or looking ovr th othr's shoulder at othr pople prsnt has the sam fft, though it may tak rathr lngr. In a group of thre, a strng kind of dividd orientation is oftn osrvabl. In this, the uppr part of th ody may point towards on prson and th lowr to th third. Ther has n th suggestion that if this wr not don th third prson would fl lft out.

do superiors oming in from other departments behave? An

idea|

opportunity for arrying out this exerise wou|d be if your observation point over|ooked an organization's offies.

2 Lateralthinking
Lie down on a couh, sofa or settee and try thinking about your life as a hiId. After five minutes, stand up and ontinue your thoughts. Do you, in fat, find it easier to rea|l when lying down? hen, standing up, refIet on what has happened to you during the day (lear|y you wilI need to attempt this exerise in the evening). hen |ie down and ontinue your refletions. Do you find it easier to reflet when |ying down, as this hapter has predited?

All of this should

serv to indiat that you an us orintation to invit or to avoid interation with othrs. Generally spaking, a diret orintatin will invit intration. oftn, you an us an

3 Are you sitting Gomfortably?

Condut an interview (as if, say, you Were app|ying for a job) in the
tf

you an, en|ist the he|p of another person or of two or three others.

indirt orintation as you approah othr peopl so as to

seems to be the most produtive? lf you annot do this, wath some interviews on television with the sound turned down, and observe from the use of proximity nd orienttion whih seem to be progressing most satisfatorily. Are they the ones with the greatest degree of informality or those where the orientation is formal? lf you an videotape the proeedings and then play them bak with the sound turned up, so muh the better.

various seating arrangements suggested in this hapter. Whih

4 Come and talk to me

The next time you are in a p|ae (like a bar, afeteria or lub) where people like you habitua||y ome to meet other people, try using proximity and orientation in the ways suggested in this hapter to invite
others to interat with you. Hlnf.. the easiest way will be to plae yourself in.or near to the entre of ativity in the hosen plae. You may a|so try plaing yourself de|iberate|y on the periphery of events and obselve the differenes in the ways people reat.

5 Soial orienteering
Study the various soia| situations in whih you find yourself in the ourse of a day and try to identify whih is the most appropriate degree of proximity and orientation in eah ase. Reord your observations in your notebook or on tape. When you review them, try to do it |ying down. How do your reations ompare with your observations on exerises in previous hapters when you Were not lying down? Have you identified any ways of improving your use of proximity and orientation whih were not disussed in this hapter?

Il

o.

o o

ln this chapter you will learn:

. about body ontat

touhing

and

r the main distintion that is

made between these two is one of intent, for the former

q)

1+

arries the impliation

o 1+

acidental touhing and the

of

the differene is not a rigid

latter implies a deliberate at

one and it is only possible to

distinguish the two on the

basis of whih part of the

body is doing the touhing.

Touh is probaly the first f our snss to dvelop. The baby in th womb annot se, smll, tast or har (though th last may not be true). On born, touh boms a most important sns and it is through it that muh f our arlist xprin of ommuniating with othrs oms. Rsarh has shown that wher aies (and othr young animals) ar deprivd of touhing by others thir dvlopmnt is stunted, nt only soially and

on study found that 60% ot popl greting or saying goody

at an airport Wr touhing. As on might prhaps xpet' longr mra wer oservd more frquently in dparturs than in

arrivals. A numr of studis have also found that touhing is more oftn initiatd by mn than womn.

motionally ut physially.

Touhing an hav a powrful efft on how w rat to a situation. vn if w ar touhd aidntally or unintentionally, W an still b signifiantly affted by it. lvIark Knapp rported an xpriment in whih, as lirary ards wr ing returnd to studnts, th library assistant touhd th hands f sm in passing th ard ovr, but not of othrs. In all othr rspets, bhaviour was kept onstant. The only thing that hanged was whthr or not touhing ourrd. on outsid the library, th studnts wr asked to rat th library assistant and th library generally on a rating sal. Those who had ben touhd,
spially the females, judgd th assistant (and the library) more favourably than those who had not been touhed. And this was tru both for thos who wer aware of having ben touhd and for those who wr not. Suh is the powr of even a flting, barly notial touhing experin.
.W,

Furthr findings will emerg as w look, in this haptr, at th kinds of odily ontat thr ar, what they man and how r an mak bettr us of thm in dvloping our body language skills. It is an ara in whih w shall hav to tak more than usual ar, bause you nnot e losr to ppl (at last physially) than whn you are touhing thm. This an mak it dangrous to mak mistaks. But w should still find that w an idntify ways of using odily ontat to ttr effect.

xerise: Who's touhing who? Using drawings like those in Figure 7'.|, in whih the body is divided into various parts, ondut a brief suruey amongst your

as w might, for ours is not a soiety whih enorrrags adults to .W touh ah othr. ar too quik to pla a sxual onnotation upon touhing and ours is not a vry librated soity evn now' sxually speaking. But r do use various forms of touhing, to

use touh in many Ways' though perhaps not in quit as many

friends and aquaintanes to see where they allow other people to touh them. Try to ask an equal number of maIes and fema|es. Ask them to identify the parts they wouId expet to be touhed by their mother, by their father, by a same-sex friend, and by an oppositesex friend. Reord the responses on the figures by means of tallies (see page 85 for example). Make larger drawings of your own if this

willhelp.

nourag' to xprss tndernss

support.

or sympathy and to show

Touhing is mor likly to our in som situations than in othrs. Popl ar more likely to touh:

I
.q 1

. when giving information or advie than whn reiving it when giving an ordr rather than responding to one . whn asking a favour rathr than granting on . whn trying to prsuade rathr than bing prsuaded . whn at a patt rathr than at work

when exprssing xitmnt rathr than listning to somon ls's xitmnt whn listning to somon ls's worris rathr than xprssing their own.

his kind of researh was first arried out by Sidney Jourard and has been onduted by many other people sine. The results are near|y a|ways pretty muh the same. A typial set is given in Figure 7.2 and you shou|d ompare your own findings with them' As you an see, most people (except, perhaps, homosexuals) al|ow muh more touhing of most parts of the body by opposite-sex friends than by anyone else. he exeption is the amount of touhing of certain parts of the body permitted to mothers. Why do you think the same amount is not permitted to or expeted from fathers? Why is there suh a differene between same-sex friends and opposite-sex friends? ls the reson pureIy sexual? You might like to speulate on the answers to these questions as no one really knows the answers.

xercise review

l
l< tol
IOI ||

l| ICLI
|

-s.l lol tol lol I-< tol

tol ||
l| lol

||

lul tl

ll

tl tl

tol

EIJ

A
Touhd b m1ther

l*l tl

ffiffi
Touhed b mother

tl II
tl

lol

tJ

MF

lF

ffiffi ilffi
Touhed b sam.se

friend

Touhd b opposite-sx friend

=
tigure 7.1 whre are you a||owed to touh?

o-zs

E=,-50%

rr

=',_,un|=76_100%

M=lirlale F=Female
figute 7.2 where people touch

Bodily ontat and touhing

bodily ontat and touhing. In the main, bodily ontat refrs to atins whih ar aidntal, unonsious and mad by any prt of th ody. Touhing implis that th ations ar dlierate, onsious, and mad primarily y the hands. Th trms are not larly dfind in this way, howvr, in th litratur on body languag and prhaps it is in any as too fin a distintion for our purposs hr. ! shall us both trms, ut usually touhing will arry th onnotation of a mor ativ involvemnt of th prson doing th touhing.
tlls us that some of th following ar most ommon in.Wstrn ulturs:

Hptis is th nam oftn givn to dsri touhing bhaviour. But it might b worthwhil making som distintions btwn

Rihard Hdin has plad th various ryps of touhing into atgoris ranging from vry imprsonal messags to vry
prsona1 mrssags:

1 Fntio,rofessioal

2 Sociolite suh as handshaks, hand lasps. 3 Friedship-t,tlrmtb suh as a frindly pat on th 4 Loue-intim
5
lovr's kiss. shouldr emra.

suh as a golf pr with a studnt, a tailor with a ustomf' a dotor with a patint.

ak or a

lc as touhing a lovd on's hk or a

Sexul rosl suh as th mutual touhing whih aompanis lov-making.

Svral kinds of ontat hav been identifid. ihal Argyle

Dsmond Morris idntifid twlv stps whih.W.strn oupls pass through on th Way to sxual intimay. oasionally a stp may missd out, ut thy almost always our in this ordr:

Typ of touhing
Patting Slapping Punhing

Parts of th ody involvd inlud Head, bak

Fa, hand, ottom Fa, hst

Pinhing Stroking
Shaking

hk

Hair, fa Hands outh, hk, hand

Fa

Voi to voi Hand to hand Arm to shouldr Arm to waist Mouth to mouth Hand to had Hand to ody 10 outh to brast 11 Hand to gnitals
.!hat

7 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

e to body Be to y

Kissing

12 Gnitals to gnitals

Liking Holding
Guiding mbraing

Hand, arm and, arm

Shouldr, bdy

th various kinds of touhing man' howvr, dpnds on svral fators:

Linking
Laying-n

Arms Hands Boffom Hair, fe

An}"whr

. . . . . .

Kiking
Grooming

whih part of th ody touhd th othr prson whih part of th ody is touhd how long th touh lasts how muh prssure is usd whthr thr is movmnt aftr ontat has en mad whthr anyon ls is prsnt if othrs ar prsnt' who thy ar th sitation in whih th touhing ours and its mood th relationship twn th popl involvd.

Tikling

All in all, the

languag.

dtrmination f maning for touhing is a mplx affafu -just as omplx as for any othr aspt of ody

Touhing implis a ond etwn th touhr and th tuhd.

It follws, thrfre, that th main variations in how we respond

I
{
f
J

to bing touhd depend on th losnss of the rlationship

Potntil moYmnt (originally

betwen ourslvs and th other persn. Ther is a vry los onntion t,en touhing and liking. Inded, the Human

that th purpos of a handshak is to grrt someon or bid thm farwll or to mnt an agremnt. It nds to e fairly positiv, warm and frindly if it is to om anywhre nar to doing its job.

California-asd group of soial psyhologists and othrs) blivd that touhing leads to liking. Touhing an lad to liking, but not in isolation from othr aspts of ody language. You should not assume that if you go around touhing peopl they will nssarily lik it. Far ttr to use othr body languag skills to dvlop the relationship and lt gratr bodily ontat orrr naturally as a part of
this proess. Attituds towards touhing caYat onsiderably. Som popl for whom various forms of bodily ontat (mbraing, hugging and kissing) ar a normal part of family lif tnd to hav mor positiv attitudes than thos for whom it is rar. You hav to find out through osrvation th kinds of ontat popl fl omfortabl with efor you inras th various forms of evn non-sxual fondling. Sxual touhing is a very dangrous ara for veryday xprimentation and, ause of th possibilitis of misinterprtation, is bst lft alone. If it hapns by mutual onsent all wll and good, ut th bst advi is: whn in dout, don't touh.

i'

,i

{
.'

Hands are also usd fr more prolongd holding than ours in th handshake. Dsmond orris inluded hand-holding in what

.ti-signs', h alld or haviour whih indiats the xistn of a prsonal rlatinship. Othr eampls ar th.body.guid', in

i
I
t;

whih th hand is usd to guid somon in th dirtion in whih you want them to g by mans of light prssur on th person's ak, the .pat', in whih a prson is pad on the arm,
th shouldr or th bak, and mbras of various kinds.

,l
j

i
1
{i

{
d

Th hands an b usd in slf-touhing. Som ommon forms of this r stroking th hin, groming th hair, srathing th had and rubbing th nos. Suh tions oftn our during momnts .tailgatd' (that is, the of strss. obsrv a ar drivr who is ing drivr hind is far too los for safety at th sped bing travlld). Vry ftn, drivrs in this situation will srath thir heads or thir yrows or th sid of thir fa. If you dout this and onsidr that suh ations are simply baus th driver has an ith, try t obsrv drivrs on motorways. You will find a notiale inras in slf-touhing during momnts of tnsion and stress suh as our in tailgating. Do not do the tailgating yourself, though, for ovious rasons.

You need hands

Thr ar some rasonably saf aras in whih odily ontat
an inrased. In grtings and farwells, as w have already sn, odily ontat is oftn a normal part of th oasion. Handshaks ar partiularly ommon and, if thy d not our

Hugging and kissing

Ther is a shool of psyhologial thought whih attriuts
many of our ontmPorary rsonal and soial prolms to th Iact tat, as adults, w do not indulg in hugging and bing huggd as muh as whn We wer hildrn. If only we ould gt bak, thy argu' to a situatin in whih we huggd ah othr as frly s hildrn d' r should all b muh happir for it. Thre may wll b some truth in this, ut it is diffiult to s how it an ahivd. Prhaps w ould eah mak a start by hugging thos losest to us a littl more often. The sam may wll apply to ativitis lik uddling and tikling, though on again th guiding prinipl as to what is possil is what is appropriat. Thr ate, after all, ths who njoy bdily ontat and rspond to it readily and thos who ar rlutant to om involvd in muh touhing and tnd to shy away from it. Popl ar usually put into two atgoris: touhrs and nontouhrs. Thr is som vidne that thr is an assoiation

J
.l

spontaneously, thy an often introdud without any awkwardnss or mbarrassmnt. Thy an tak many forms, from the limpst-wristd holding out of a hnd and allowing the othI Prson to hold it wakly and brifly to th strongst and
most vigorous shaking of the othr's hand, whih has vn bn known to produe an xprssion of pain on the part of th ripient. ost people sm to prfr handshaks whih ar on .!7eak handshaks sem to b th firm sid rathr than th wak. assoiatd in mn with ffminay and a gneral infftivnss .!omn may gt away with a wakr handshake, of prsonality. ut vn her, if th handshak is too weak, it may b prived as being offrd insinrly and relutantly. You should remember

{
{
{

with gsturs, with touhrs prfrring open gsturs and nontouhrs tnding to us losd gstures. Anothr diffiulty in xtnding the frquny of ativitis lik hugging and kissing is th rlationship btwn bodily ontat andtaius. This affts all touhing bhaviour. It is asy nough to hug and kiss a hild, ut it would b impossil to xtnd this to on's suprior at work. It is easy nough for a dotor o giv9

gteat deal .of apparntly violnt play an our mor oftn among bys than girls. Yung men may oftn boistrous with ah thr, sparring and generally indulging in horsplay. Lovrs an ngag in playful pinhing, an ativify whih frquntly eoms a form of sxual foreplay. Suh

Amongst hildrn

tndnis out of our systrms.

aivitis may evn b ways in whih w an gt aggrssiv

a nurs an nouragmg pat on th ak or to touh a patint; it is muh mor diffiult for a nurs to do th sam to a dotor or

It rould larly b tter if w ould reat to aggrssive situations

for a patint to touh a dotor. Again, eptions ar small

hildrn and also, prhaps, the very old. Stroking and arssing ar touhing bhavious reservd for thos whos rlationship is a ls, usually sexual, on. In vryday lif w tnd to hav to substitut vrbal stroking for physial strking.

th immediat sour of ontat. Turning th othr hk may, aftr all, hav a prtial day-to-day appliation.

in th sam kind of way that w rat to uninvitd bodily ontat in suh plas s tub trains, where re respond to th invitability of ontat not by fighting it ut y turning our heads away from

Eri Bern, th foundr of ansational analysis, saw suh .hav

.stroking' as wishing somon wll or hoping thy would a nie day' as being vry important in improving intrprsonal rlationships. Betr,yn strangrs' it is indd probaly bettr that .stroking' should vrbal rathr than non-vrbal. suh

Better bodily ontat

From all f this w an prhaps xtrat som ways in urhih we
an improv our prformane in what w hav alrady identifid as a hily snsitive arca of' ody languag whih is fraught with .W an develop a firm dangrs for th areless and the unwary. (but not too firm), frindly handshak rhih will giv othrs some .![ an engg in sial kiss rassurane in intrating witlr us. in tlros situations in whih it is appropriat. For diding whih

Thr is on ativity, howvr, in whih touhing is nt only

genrally prmissil but atually nouragd. That is indaning (that is, bllroom daning and not diso. daning in whih th partiipants rarc|, if ver, touh). Daning an a prliminary io latei intimay or it an indulgd in ntirely for its own sak. Thos who fl in any way dprived of touhing xperins an rmdy th situation in any dan hall - providd, of ours, that thy know the dan stps.

Kissing xprins ar lss asy to genrrat aus of thir mor frequnt sexual assiations. In some familis and soial groups, i.is ustomary for mmbrs mting or dpating- from ahthr to xhang a rif kiss. In othrs, thr is hardly any
kissing at all, ven during lovmaking.

touh rptivenss on th part of othrs. Carrying out som of th xriss at th end of this haptr, just as arrying out th xriss in othr hapters, will hlp you build up a gnral snsitivity to th us of all th various aspets of body language.

situations ar appropriat we hav to dvelop our snsitivity to

An old saying runs that th bst way to knok a hip off a prson's shouldr is to pat him or hr on th bak. This has mor than a
mtaphorial appliation for, as w hav sn, paffing on th arm, shouldr or bak an be a gstuf of nouragment or suPport. .hips on thir shouldrs'nd, oftn, this is just what popl with as suh an attitud is frequn th rsult of being ignord r undervalued in some way. Similarly, fiendly or prottiv arms round shoulders an b ways in wh w an shor people that w
ifumstans' touhing an promote liking. As th study quotd at the bginning of th haptr showd, touhing an als produ favourabl rations from ot}rrs and is us a mans of influening the judgemnts and vn th ations of othrs. Touhing is appropriat when ngratulating othrs on som hivment or

Don't push
Aggrssiv haviour oftn involvs bdily ontat' tlrough muh

assion an xprssd vrally. Aording to ihal fugyl., aggrssion is th innat rspons to affak, frustration and
opetition for rsoures. Usually thrat displays are muh mor ommon than atual bodily ontat. A built-in appasmnt mehanism sms to prvnt us from going so far as to damag
eah othr, unlss provokd byond ou limits of tolran.

ar on thir sid. You should remmbr that, in th

ri

suss. Usually, this is in th form of pats on th ak, handshaking or hugging. Touhing an oftn be used lgitimatly to attrat affntion' speially from somon whos attention is
learly lswhr. It an also b usd whn guiding pople.

xerises and experiments

1 Don't touh me
af6, restaurant, bar or other publi p|ace, observe people's touhing behaviour. ry to identify the touhers and the non-touhers. Are there differenes in other spets of eah group's use of body language?
|n a

2 Give me a hug
he next time it is appropriate, hug someone whom you know wel| but

who you wou|d perhaps not think it neessary to hug in order to ommuniate your affetion for them' Examples might be mother,

father, sister, brother, wife, husband or other |ose relation' What are your reations to this exerise? What was their response?

q) q)

3 Who is it?
nlist the ooperation of one or two friends. Ask one of them to b|indfold you and then diret you to another person. Try to identify that person by touhing their fae and head onIy. How easy is it to do this? Get the

L '
'

'

others to take it in turns to arry o the exerise. Discuss your

responses to the ativity. Can you find any genera| ruIes for identifying people by.touh? How do people fee| about being identified in this way?

4 Shake hands, pal

During the ourse of a day, try giving the people you meet different kinds of handshakes when you meet them. What are their.reations? Do you feel that people prefer a stronger or a weaker handshake? How do you reat to the handshakes you receive from others? What is your own preferene as far as handshakes are onerned?

.I

a
II

s)

o
ln this chapter you wiI| lem:

qI

5 Holding on longer
on those oasions when you find yourse|f in physial ontat with
others whom you know well, in the form of handshakes, hugs, kisses and so on, try maintaining the ontat for slight|y longer than usua|. How do you feel about doing this? How do other people respond?

o o

. about apperance .

physique simple changes to these an

and an

individua|'s ability to interat sucessfulIy with others which

is not insignifiant.

have an effect upon

turn now to onsidring th ommuniativ valu of the way we look to other pple. Th siz and shape of our bodis and th way w ovi thos bodis with lothing of various kinds xrts a onsiderable influne ovr how othr pople preiv us and ovr hor muh attntion thy pay to us. Thse would sem' at first sight, to b aras ovr whih W an exert littl ontrol but, as w shall s, this is not th as. Inded, thy are aras in whih w hav onsidrale sop for manipulation, without it appearing as suh to thos w mt in th ours of our daily livi. Sm aspets ar ompltely within our ontrol, but others are only partly so.
W.e

xercise: a omplete hange of lothing

he next time you go out soiaIly, dress in an entire|y different way from the way in whih you usual|y dress. ]f you are in the habit of

wearing a suit and tie, dress very asual|y, or vie versa. What differenes do you notie in the way your friends reat? ln the way strangers reat? Do men ret differentIy from women? How do you feel about dressing differently? Does it make you feel unomfortable or is it a liberating experiene?

ark Knapp invitd us to nvisag a typial Amerian morning sne. ThJldy of th hous rplaes hr night-tim ra with a slightly paddd uplift bra. Sh puts on hr girdl. Sh puts ol hr fa wit ybrow pnil, masara' lipstik, roug (or lushr), y liner and false ylashes. There may b many mor thilgs to do bfor she fls rady to fa th world. The man of th house
shavs his fae, rmoYes his fals tth from their ovrnight soak, gargles, pats on his aftrshav and dides wht to War.

You should have found, at the very least, that you can change your appearane and other people wi|l to|erate it even if they may omment adverse|y. At the best, you may we|l have found that a

Exercise review

Ther is no dout that w go to a grat dal of troubl to mak ourslvs prsntabl to the world. Vry few of us indd simply limb outf bd, drss in what W wore th day befor and st .!0, larly rea|ize out to onfront whatvr th day has to offr. that the way w look maks a diffrn to the way othrs will rat and respond to us.

different sty|e of dress wou|d be better for you in future beause it wi|l enabIe you to interat more suessfu|ly with others. Clothes an give onfidene if they are seleted areful|y with an eye to What is most appropriate. Timid peop|e often have a tendeny to dress perhaps a little too onservativeIy. |f this exerise has persuaded a few to be a trifle more adventurous, it may very weIl have setved a partiularIy useful purpose.
|f you deviate from lothing norms at work, you cou|d we|| reeive ritial omments, not only from your o||eagues or workmates but a|so from your superiors. Many ompanies have a.dress ode'. Your boss may even te|I you to go home and hange into your normal work

Knapp quotd som dramati, and disturing, xampls of how

ou apparan an afft othrs, and hne ourslves. A- judg in Itaiy find a Grman woman tourist for rossing hr legs in suh away as to bar a thigh whilst sh sat drinking offe with friends at a roadside af. A rsarh psyhologist found that a woman hith-hiker ould doubl th number of lifts sh ws offerd y adding two inhs of padding to hr bust. A nintnyear-old girl wit a fae so dformd that popl wr- rplled

|othes. However, if you reeive no adverse omment at all' you either work in a |ibera| environment or in a job where choie of |othing does not matter. lf this is the case and you always dress in the same way, you now know you an be more varied in your hoie of attire.

First impressions
As w saw in the last haptr, our first ontat with othr pople is .y to body,; that is, w look first at their bodis bfore we stablish y ontat. xeptions thr may b to this, but in gneral it is true. This mans that th first things we usully s ar th loths they ar wearing, and frm them w mak rtain
judgements.

y it omitted a rim in ordr to b arrestd.. Th judg oidrd plasti surgefy for hr. H flt a hang of apparan would lad to a hang of bhaviour and rdu antisoial
tndnis.

Apparan and physiqu may not always make th diffrne btwn hnsty ind a lif of rim. Appearan does, howevr,. ned to b takn sriously if w ar to furthr our mastry of body language.

Cloths may, in modrat and oldr limats, be nessary for prottion and may b requird by th ultur on grounds of modsfy, ut thy still hav onsidrale,ommuniativ

Thy rveal somrthing about our inome, our status' our

valu.

oupation' our prsonality, and many othr things. Pople an tll igrat deal about us simply from our hoi of lothes from .thrown on' in th most th great variety availabl. vn things spak volums. It is no good our huriied nd asual mannr still trying to giv an imprssion to othrs' say of ralth or of fashion-onsiousnss, unlss our loths supprt what we say. Thy will ertainly giv our game away.

th top, vrtial strips rathr than horizontal, and so on. It

appars that, with af' ven fat an b disguisd and so promot th possibili of ahiving a bettr first imprssin.

You've gotta have style

Cloths an, of ours' e atgorizd in many ways, but one asi distintion is whether thy ar formal or informal. Formal an inlude mor than tuxdos or dinnr jakts. It inluds
uniforms of various kinds and ven th usinss xutive's suit. Shool uniforms may be rgarded as formal. This reflts hangs in soiety.

At one tim not so long ago loung suits wr thought of

informal, and invitations to funtions whih say.drss informal' may still man you will e frownd on if you turn up in wll-

as

Clearly, thn, sin how w dress an b manipulatd, it an bom an important lment in our ommuniativ style. Our hoi of lothing tlls others who w ar' or at least it tlls thm how w see ourslvs. It idntifis our uniqunss or' if w ar waring a uniform, our similarity to others. It shows how w viw orrr own prsonal. This is oftn onvyed by olour, where mor introvertd pople will hoos quieter or drabr olours and th more outgoing will go for riter and vn ontrasting olours. ou lothing will show our ag and sex, usually, and may ven give hints aout our soial lass or staflrs and our oupation.

worn swater and jans. Howver, in an evryday ontxt' informal drss usually now mans just this and also inluds so on.

How muh W ommuniat to othrs through our hie of lothing an depnd on how muh w want to ommuniat.
This may limitd by our physique. It is diffiult to drss as an intrnational jt-sing playboy if you ar 50 yars old and weigh 18 ston (250 |; L14 kc).h may also b affted by ur mood t th tim - somtims w may wish to b flamboyant (say, at a fanc drss party) and somtims to mrrg with th rowd. How often all thse fators hang will influn how oftn w hang our lothing, quit apart from onsidrations of personal hygin. Som peopl sm to war th sam sweatr and jans for ever; thrs go through svral hangs a da. Apparan thus givs some usful lus as to what pople we are meting for the first tim will lik. That is why salesmn and publi rlations offirs tak so muh trouble to be smart in apparan. Somtims thy ovrdo it and om over as too smooth' too bland, too ingratiating. Thy 8o ovr the top and eom Uriah Heps. Th trik is to go only so far as onvntion ditats and to avoid too many extra touhs like buonhls, brast poket handkrhifs, too muh aftershav and so on. Som intrsting studies hav vn shown that the extent to whih studnts will apt what a tahr says is aff'ected by his or hr apparan. Thos who drss rasonaly smartly and onvntionally ar mor likly to e takn as xperts in thir subjt than thos whse dress is asual and too informal. Jv1ost tahrs sem to b unaware of this and plae rlativly low valu on appearan.

open-nkd shftts, all kinds of trousers or shorts, and anorks,.Womn may now also war these things as wll as jumprs and skirts and drsss of an astonishing variety.
and informa| atp|a, but we tend to hoos what w shall war on the asis of what is omfortable, what ovrs our odis with

Gnerally spaking, formal loths are mor ommon at work

nvey to othrs th imag we hav of ourslvs.

appropriat modsty, or what displays our bodis so as to .W

also hav

to tk into aount th prvailing .ruls' about what

is aptable. any lubs and vn bars and rstaurants will not serv you unless, if you ar mal, you ar wearing a jakt and

ti. Th onvrs an b oservd on ontinntal bahs in summr whn a woman may fel ovrdrssd if sh rars
anything mor than a bikini bottom.

Fashion is partiularly influntial in detrmining what young people will ear, though nowadays ther is no singl fashion to illow. So fashion is no lnger th rstriting influen ovr

hoi that

.W

omplet th fft of th loths.

it

one was. Jwellery and othr adrnments

our bodis may detrmin mor than th size of shirt or drss. Advi to th ovrweight, for exampl, oftn rommnds

must not nglt th ffet of body shap within th loths.

darker olours for th lowr part of th body and lightr ons for

Somtims r nd to b able to st aside apparane and physique and se thrugh to the ral messag bing ommuni.! must not allow the mdium to bom th mssag. ated. W,hat is ing ommuniated is more important than how, if only we an get through to it. Howvr, this is not as easy as it sounds. vn juris ar inflund by apparan. Wll-dressd, attrativ young womn get lightr sntens' aording to th rsearh, unless thir rime ras one in whih thir apparan ras an asset to thm, as in blakmail r onfidn trikry.

partiipants is not really important. In an advand industrial siety, the rls of th sxs are to a larg xtent intr-

one might perhaps ask why we nd to b able to dtt sx diffrnes. In many vryday nountrs, it is true, th sx of th
hangeabl; it is only whn it oms to ourtship and mating that th differns bome ssntial. W'hy ar fmal impersonatrs so funny? Som would doubt that thy ar, ut for ths who find thm amusing part of th

W might, in passing, onsider two qustions:

Sorting the men from the women

vn in alage in whih sx quality is eing ativly sought and osxist'ommnts and viws ar frownd upon' th diffrnes in the apparane and physiqu of men and women ar insapable.

Invitably, sine they exist, thy affet th ways in whih w respond to eah or non.vrbally. ! would be lss than fair to ourslvs hr if w ignord thm.

Mn tnd to b taller and heavir than women. They

gnrally strongr and abl to arry more. They hav longr lgs ind largr ft in proportion to the rst of thir bodis. Thy run faster' are bttr throwrs, and are tter long distan runnrs. Thy hav broader shoulders and longr arms, iggr hests, lungs and harts, strongr skulls and sturdir jaws. Thy ar thus bettr prottd against physial attaks. Thy also hav deepr vois, are hairier (though they oftn beom bald in later life) and hav a gteatef tndeny to dvlop a pt blly.

are

answr lis in th fat that they oftn aggrat femal haratristis y making-up too heavily, ovr-drssing and having largr than normal artifiial busts. Prhaps thy ar also a sign that our ultur is still a fairly sxist one. Is thre a ,ga,, or homosexaa|, appeatane and physiqu? This is beoming mor diffiult to ans.wer. It usd to that gy men had slighter builds and adopted haratristially fmal posturs and gsturs vn whn thy did not atually drss in Womn,s lothes. Gay women usd to war mn's lothing or lothing that had a distintly masulin apparan to it. Nowadays, ths distintions ar lss pronound. This may an indiation that our sxist soity is beoming lss so.

Body shape and size

It is asir to hang your appalan than your physiqu, but som hanges an b mad. It is fashional today to b slim and womn mor than mn go to gleat lngths to rdu thir ody siz y diting. n tend to ffy to ahiv a similar rsult by mans of ris, suh as jogging. Thr ar thos who find suh behaviour faintly ludirus. Yt thr an be good rasons for attmpting to hang, or vn appar to hang, th shap nd siz f your ody. It hangs pople's prptions of you and affts th amount of noti thy tak of you. Sussful slimmrs oftn rport an improvmnt in thir soial livs. vn lthing whih masks fatnss an ahiv a similar rsult.

You might think all this urould mak it an easy mattr to tll men and womn apart. But this is not nssarily so. Reent onfusions hav bn rated as a result of an inrasd us of
mak-up y mn and a trnd for womn to war th same loths
as mrn.

Still thre are ways in whih ven womn in mn's lothing an be idntifid as fmal. Tr ar rtain aras of th anatomy to whih w an look for lus: th fa, for instane, for womn do
not grow bards..!omn genrally hav a wider pelvis, rsulting in what Dsmond rris alld th .roth BaP', a sensible natural provision for thir rol as hild arrs. They hav

slnder waists and thikr thighs. Their navels ar deeper and their bellis longr. The brasts usually proud. Thy have roundr bottoms and hav more of a hip swy whn walking.

Body shaps ar gnrally lassifid as tomorph (thin and bony), resororph (musular) or edornorpb (fat|. Mihal Argyl rports that tomorphs ar usually preivd by othrs
and ndomorphs as warm-hartd, agrabl and dpndent. Thus, vn ing fat an hav its ompensations.
as quiet and tns, msomorphs as advnturous and slf-rliant,

Changs an also afft yur viw of yourslf. Again, slimmrs often rport an inras in onfiden and a gratr sns ofrllbing. People who bom fat in middl ag an bom quit dprssed by th hang, espially if they lak th will to do anything out it. Convrsly, thos who slim to th point f

a poor slf-imag and also bome dprssed. The trik sems to be to did on th body shape and siz that is th bst ombination of what you Want and what you an ahiv, to want to attain it suffiintly strongly, and then to
anorxia often hav

it in a rasonably rsolut mannr. otivation dos, in fat, sem to b th singl most signifiant fator in dtrmining what kind of hang is ahivd and for
set about ahiving
how long.

PeopIe hange
Ray Birdwhistell suggestd that w learn to b who w ar: it is not somthing whih is pr-dtermind and unhangal. It aounts for th fat that th pople of som rgions look so muh alik when it annot be aributd to shrd gns. H agred that th st of our yebrows, our mouth shap, our fae ontours and many othr aspts of apparan are all larnd
from other peopl w live and mix with. If this is only partly true, it opens up furthr possibilitis for hanging our apparan.

Thr are hangs whih appear as w grow oldr, but prhaps W an larn to avoid or postpon some of thm without going to trms. \Ve an oftn rsist sagging of th fatures, obesity, stooping and many other hangs by proper attntion to dit and
xrrs.

Pople often hange after a traumati vnt in thir prsonal

rlationships, and not nessarily for the wors. Aftr a sparation or divor (and somtims aftr a ereavemnt)' som pople suddenly bom muh mor livly and outgoing. Thy may bgin going to dans and soialing for the first tim in many yars.
tomorph Mesomorph ndomorph

tigure 8.1 body shapes

on of th parados of lif is that oldr pople oftn try to look youngr whil youngr popl try to look oldr. Balding men may bgin to Wear toups. Young mn may grow moustahs or eards baus these mak thm appar more matur. Thr would sm to nothing vry harmful in suh ativities. If othrs rspond positivly to suh hangs and if you fel tter at th same time' thy ould vrll hav a gnrally enfiial
fft.

lmproving your image

Suppos you wantd to rview your appalane and physiqu and do somthing to improv thm; how would you start? Th first stp would to do th ovious: look in a mirror. But als study rnt photographs of yourslf. Obsrv yourslf in shop windws as you walk dwn a strt. If you an, videotap yourslf, or hav somone els do it. Build up a pitur in-your mind and thn st about making hanges rhr you fl you
most ned to.

Ther is no ned to go ovr the top and overdo th hanges. Hr, as in most things, modration is th ky. !hat do you rally want to look like? Deid that and then st about it in a
dtrmind and rsolut mannr.

Exercises and experiments

1 Don't innovate, opy
Cut out a series of magazine pictures whih show peop|e pretty muh |ike yourself in various kinds of |othing' Cut the heads off so that the lothing will be emphasized. Ask severa| of your family and friends to rate the pitures for attrativeness on a sa|e of 0 to 10. Ask them

You might start by hanging yur lothing. If you normally drss formally, try being a littl mor informal, or vi vrsa. If you haitually war loths of rathr subdud olours, try bing a little mor olourful. Try eprimenting a littl with diffrnt kinds of lothing. If you shop arfully, it nd not b an
xpnsiv exprin.

You might hang your hairstyl. If you ar ompletely bald, you ould war a toup. Many modrn ons ar sarly dtetabl in wear. You mit hang the olour of your hair. It is fast oming aptable vn for mn to dy thir hair. A nw look hre an av ionsidrably uplifting fft upon your personality
and gnral onfidn.

what, specifially, they find attrative when they give a high sore. Mke a list of these fators. ry to inorporate them into your own lothing. Are the results benefiia|?

2 ndo, eto or meso?

Classify yourself as an endomorph, etomorph or mesomorph. If you do not fit a type easily, select the nearest one, or ask a good friend to |assify you' C|assify your famiIy. Is there a predominnt family type? |f you are young, look at the older members espeially: you might see what you will look like in a few years' time. Do you like what you see? Classify your friends. Are you birds of a feather? Does anyone stand out as the odd one? Do daughters tend to |ook like mothers nd sons |ike fathers? What other similarities and differenes do you notie?

If you ar ovrwight, you uld try slimming and taking

xris. Try it for a spifid priod, say, thre months. It is bst to onsult your gnral pratitinr about th st mthod for

you. There is no ned to nrol in pnsiv slimming lus-unlss you fl yu ned to b in the ompany of like-mindd others in rder to sued.

Pay partiular attntion to your fa and skin. n ma ff growing berds or moustahs to s what efft thy have,- not only on othrs' rations' but also on hor they fl themslvs. womn may hange thir mak.up. Thre ar many bauty books availibl whih ontain a wealth of advi on how to mak th most of what natur gav, or did not giv, you.
Obsrv other pople to s what trnds thr ar in th various fashions. You may rell s somthing that would suit you in th way others drss and prsnt thmslvs to the world. What do your frinds look lik? Hav you prhaps allowd yourself to grow to look a littl too muh lik thm? Hav yu om a bird of a feather?

3 Whose |othes are these?

(or

For each of the following sets of lothing' suggest the age' sex, status soial lass) and typial oupation of the owner:

a Pin-stripe suit, o|d shool tie' b|ak umbre|la b Old sweater, old jeans, old training shoes Flat ap, brown overall, grey trousers, b|ak shoes d ight yellow sweater, short skirt' high-heeled shoes e Flowing, flowery dress, a lot of jewellery f Glasses, white oat, dark trousers, bIk po|ished shoes s Sports jaket with |eather e|bows, rumpIed trousers, old suede shoes h Broderie anglais white b|ouse, blak skirt, seamed tights, bIak shoes i Sunglasses pushed up on to top of forehead, bikini bottom i Blk ornate leather jaket, Ieather gloves, jeans, |eather boots

Use your imagination and hange the wearers around (i.e. giving a's |othes to wearer b; c's lothes to Wearer i, and so on). What are the effets of doing this?

4 Asking for information

Dress smartIy in onventional dress. Go to a rai|way station, bus station or airport and ask some members of the pub|i for diretions to a pre.seleted plae. on another day, dress sruffily in your o|dest |othes and ondut the same experiment. What differenes do you notie in the Ways people respond to you?

5 Judging strangers
As you go about your daily business, observe the appearance and physique of other people. SpeuIate on their age' sex, status (or
soia| |ass) and |ike|y oupation. What fators do you take into acount in making your judgements? lf the opportunity arises naturally, ask to find out how aurate you Were'

6 Who is this?
An obese old man, with the soft skin and round, dimpled heeks of a baby, the jaw |ine and hin aImost |ost in fat, eyes and nose both disproportionate|y small, the mouth rih|y urled and ho|ding a igar' on his head a blak homburg hat, and wearing a dark, three-piee
suit.

't

Answer (do not read until you have deided or unless you give up - it
is given bakwards): LL|HRUH NosNlW.

a 1+ < 5 o r J GT a s)
.T TI

N o. q)
l

ln this chapter you will lern:

1+ TI

. about timing and

language

synhronization as aspects of body

in

the importane of time

Westem u|ture howwell we synchronize when talking to others.

In his book The Silnt Lnguge, dward Hall tld us of an assignmnt h one had as a mmbr of a mayor's ommittee on human rlations in a big Amerian ity. H had to intrview hads of dpartmnts to assss whthr non-disrimination pratis ould be adoptd. Speial attntion was givn to arranging th intrviws. ah head was askd to prepard to
.W-hat

spnd n hour or mor on th disussion.

atually happend was that, in spite of th ar taken ovr th arrangments, appointmnts were forgottn, h had to wait for long periods in outr offis, and th ln of the intervir itslf was oftn ut down to 10 or 15 minuts.
ths hads of departmnts Wr doing, whether onsiusly

.W.hat

daily newspaper, say; if you hoose writing, how |ong it takes to write a single letter or report. hen, over the ourse of the next week, time every simi|ar ativity (reading the paper, writing |etters or reports of about the same |ength and so on). ah time, after the first' make a consious effort to speed up just a |ittle. Do not put .personal any great effort into this, simp|y aim to ahieve a new happens. he important things are best' each time and see What to time the ativity, to try to omp|ete the task in s|ightly less time and to keep a reord of these times. You wiII also hve to make sure that eah task is of approximate|y the same size eah time (a newspaper with the same number of pages to read, letters and reports of the same Iength, a journey of the same distance, et.).

or unonsiously, was using tim to ommuniat somthing whih thy proably would not have had th ourag' or the
vrbal ommuniator.
rudnss, to exprss in words. Time an thus b a powerful non-

You shou|d have found that you an speed up any ativity without suffering Ioss of quality in peformane. Sometimes the increase in

Exerise review

This aspt of ody languag (th altrnativ titl non-vral ommuniation would, in fat, b mor aurat hr) is ovrd by th t,erm hronemics, ot th study of the us of tim. Our intrst hr in th fild is in what it an tll us not only aout how th us of time affts ommuniation twn pople, but also aout how w an improv our skill in ommuniating by .! shall also onsidr th rol of improving our us of tim. synhrony in ody languag whn popl ar onvrsing.
Our onpt of tim is ntral to our world viw. Inded, thr is .W plae almost an obsssion with tim in our wstrn ultur. a high importan on puntuality and on kping to a prdtrmind shdul. That is on rason why, in Hall's story,

speed an be quite substantia|. In reading, for instane, it is not unknown for inreases in speed ot 1o0%, without |oss of omprehension, to be ahieved in this simpIe way. he avelage inrease in speed is usual|y about 50%. ln writing the possibilities for speeding up, or saving time, are more limited, but it shou|d stil| be possib|e to ahieve a saving of time on eah Ietter or report of about 10%, whih is a not insignifiant amount of time. Similar savings shou|d be possib|e in a wide range of ativities, suh as walking from the station to the offie or washing the ar. |f you have arried out the instrutions in the exerise faithfuIIy. espeial|y with regard to timing the ativity and keeping a reord (say' in a notebook) of your results, you should find that it is possible to save onsiderab|e amounts of time not on|y in ommuniation but also in everyday Iife generally.

kping popl waiting is a partiularly hostil ation. The tmpo of our ativitis tlls othrs a great dal aout us. on simpl way in th.W.est than a slow on..W rgard slow-pa ppl as|az, though thy may atually hiv mor than thos who ar forvr dashing aout but may gtting nowhr.

to imprss othrs is to appar to be always usy with lots of mtings and appintmnts.A fst pa is mor highly thought of

ime and tide

on way of rating tim whih you an us eithr for mor fftiv ommuniation or for othr ativitis is, then, to inras te flo rate. This is a onpt to whih w will rturn in th last stion of this haptr, whn we will look at 12 .!(hat w need to thniques for using time mor fftivly. .or haste, is old adage

Exerise: faster communition

Selet an ativity' Any ativity wi|l do' but some of the easiest ones for this type of exercise are reading, writing letters or reports, wa|king from the station to the offie, washing the ar. Time your ativity. If you hoose reading, time how |ong you take to read your

rmind ourslvs f hre, howver, th lss spd'. In our searh for ways of improving tim use in ommuniation, it is important that w should avoid hurrying. .W. nd to onntrat on ways that rill Hurry an lad to error. nable us to ahiv our ojtiv without rduing prforman.

Anothr fat w must rmind ourslvs of is that time is a finit resour - that is to say, thr is only a rtain amount of it availabl to us. No mattr how hard we try' w annot squze .!hn w rmmbr that any mor than 24 hours out of an day. w hav to allow tim for slping, ating and other ativitis, the amount of tim w spend in ommuniating with othrs is probaly no mor than a vry fw hours. It has en alulated, or instan, that th aYerage managr spnds aout 35% f his working tim ommuniating with othrs in various ways. Given a wrking da of eight hours, w ar talking of a priod of around thr hours. Spding up ativitis y an avrage of 50o an thus relas time, whih maks it possile to rad thr journals in th time it prviously took to rad two, or writ thr rports' mak thr tlphon alls, and so on' all in th spae prviously rquird for two. Tim ration is thus n ativity with a onsiderabl potntial for making it possil to kp pae with an inrasingly rapidly hanging world. That is, th pa of hang is alrating and w must ithr find ways of kping up with it or fall hind. But bfo we xamine ths time-ration thniqus in mor dtail, lt us onsidr som of th other aspets of how our attitud to

ds not sm to mattr too muh whih category you find yourslf in, as long as th .larks' an do thir most important .owls' an organiz their livs so work arly in th day and the
that the rvrse happns. Part of this diffrn, howevr, is an illusion. Studis of aility in arrying out tasks at diffrnt tims of th day suggest that mid-mrning is bst, with th ear| patt of th afternoon shwing anothr pak (though rathr lrr than th morning,s) and vings ing th worst tim. Nvrthelss, if popl fel thy ar working mor produtivly in th evnings, that may 9 a bttr finding for thm than whatvr rsarh suggsts should appropriat. Prhaps it is th rlativ asn of distrations in t vning and at night whih maks som peopl prfer
thm. ll.hythm, in th form of timing, is also vry important in humour. Osrvations of omdians an b intrsting for revaling the importan of timing. You should wath som on tlvision and r.roi how thy wit for the laughtr and applaus to di down, ut not out, fore ontinuing with anothr gag. Thos who ar poor tellers of jokes oftn ar so not baus th jokes y t"tt r not funny, but eaus thir paing of th joke and thir timing of th punhline ar at fault.

tim and our us of it afft th natur and quality f our ommuniation with other peopl.

.W

Good times and bad times

ar all awar that thr are ertain tims whn w feel good

and an ommuniate with grater as and enthusiasm and othr times whn all w wish to do is isolate ourslves and avoid all ontat with othr pople. Suh flings ar often influned by the natural tim hhms of th body. Thse circdin

'h duration of silns and pauss an hav ommuniative valu. Short hsitations, if assoiated with many sph rrors' an indiat that a spakr is nrvous or is tlling lis. A long Paus an an indiation that a spakr has drid up. It an also, in onversation, show thoughtfulness and an unwillingnss
t<l

Silenes and pauses

rhthms affet vrything w do..!hn they beom disruptd as' say, in th phenomnon of jet lag - the can aus us not only to fl undr th Wathr but also to mak mistakes and unsound disions and to bhav irrationally. That is why travllrs who ar ollting a hir ar whn they fly aross th Atlanti, for xampl, r advisd to stay overnight at an airport hotl and olli th ar after agood night's slp when thir ody has had some hane to adapt to a diffrnt tim zon.
Sme peopl find that thy habitually oprat effr at on tim of' da than anothr. Som arc at thir bst first thing in th morning. Othrs ar ttI latr in th day or ven at night. It

rushed for a response.

l)auss when pople ar spaking on telvision tnd to shrtr than in any othr mdium. This may b a onsqun of th ditorial sryl whih frquently ditats that itms in programmes should b shrt so that svral subits an b overed in a singl programm. It is only in hat shows, whn on intrviwer may tallto only two or thr peopl in the ours f an hour or so, that th paitern of silenes and pauss rturns to normal. In poli nd ottrr intrrogatins, siln is oftn intrprtd as an irdmission of guilt, spially if it persists. In othr ontxts, it rnay intrpretd as shynss, as a wilful rfusal to speak or as ignoran of th answr to a qustion.

In publi speaking, pauss an b usd to grat fft to wring eithr laughtr or applaus from an audin. In som Ways, th fftiv publi spakr uses th sam kind of timing tehniqus as th sussful omedian, waiting for applaus or laughtr to almost di out befor ontinuing. Spakrs at onfrns will

what h is saying, h looks stadily at th other, who immdiatly

looks away and gins saying what h wants to say. Kndon

oftn indiat that thy xpt applause by pausing. This is partiularly notiabl at a stage-managd politial onfrn. It is signifiant, howvr, that it is often only high-status mmbrs of th prty who an mak th thniqu work almost unfailingly.
If you an, tap yourslf giving a sph or even simply engaging in onvrsatin with somon els. In this way, you an s how

found that if this did nt happen, ther was often a paus before th othr prson egan to spak. It is thrugh rhythms as subtl as ths that th whol pross of intrprsonal ommuniation is rgulatd. If it braks down, as in mmunition with rtain kinds of mntal patient' onversation an om impossibl. Kndon also found that, whn somone begins to talk, a listnr prhaps vn xatly hoing th movmnts of th spakr, showing that h is paying los attntion. Thn h may settle a! and show vry littl movmnt at all until h ss that th spakr is oming to th nd of what h is saying, whnhe will again bgin to mov quit onspiuusly. This tim, his movmnts will adopt th othr's rhythm ut will not math thm. By moving in this way, h is signalling tht h nw wishs to spak.

will show inrasd synhrony of dy movments'

you us silns and pauss, how long thy typially ar and whthr thy our in appropriat plas. You may vn b abl to idntify ways in whih you an imprv your use of silns nd pauses whn ommuniating with othrs.

Dovetailing in discussions
A good dal of rsarh has bn arrid orrt by kinsiists
(se

It is interesting one again to wath popl talking on vido, with th sound turnd down, to s if you an dtt any o{ ths vry

From a dtaild frame-.fram analysis of films of popl talking to ah othr, rsarhrs hav disovrd that w us all
partiular, W us y ontat' had nods, ody movmnts and gsturs in a far from random fashion. Indd, synhronizing with othrs produes a rhythmi paffrn whih som liev is nessary for sussful ommniation to take plae at all.

Chaptr 4) into how w synhroniz ur intration with others.

stl movmnts whih help popl to synhronize what thy ar saying with what othr popl ar saying. Th bettr you an

ontrol and rgulat our fa-to-fa nountrs with othrs. In

of th aspts of ody languag w hav disussd so far to pa,

time and synhroniz your ontributions to onversations and disussions, the mor sussfully yu will abl t mmuniat both non-vrbally and vrbally.

Getting a word in edgeways

If you wish to brak into a onvrsati, it hlps if' oa arc a .W. prson of high status. unonsiously dfr to thos w prive as highr in the soial or arganizational hierarhy than <lurslvs. Howevr, vn th humblest of us will stand an inrasd han of ing listned t if w us some haviours
rathr than othrs.

William Condon Was on Amrian rsarhr who spnt many thousands of hours in th analysis of films. H disovrd not only that popl mov rhythmially whn thy ar spaking ut also that th listnr movs in tim with this rhythm. vn whn way he puffs on his pip synhroniz with th words h is listning to. uh of this rh'thm is not immdiatly ovious to a asual obsrvr, ut oms apparnt only whn a film of a
onvrsation is analyzd fram by fram.
a listnr appals to sitting prftly still, his ye-links or th

Adam Kndon, in a study of the pattrn of y ontat twn two people who wr onvrsing in order to get to know eah other, found that thr is a pattrn of y ontat both at th bginning and th nd of long sphs. As on prson finishs

ourse' simply intrrupt. But thr ar subtlr mthods. Spaking a littl loudr than th gnral lvel of onvrsation wi oftn sur attntion for long nough t nal you to begin making your point. Normal politnss u,ill thn nabl you to lrr th volum and b allowd to finish it. It is important not to rais th volum y muh, howver, beaus this may be sn by others as bing as rud as intrrupting.

ihal Argyl suggsts thre are various signals rhih w an us to ahiev this. If w want to say somthing' w an, of

aking tripl had nods, spially if aompanied by vrbal sals lik .ys', .ut' or .wll', an work. Normally, in listing, had nods, as r hav sn in Chaptr 3, ar single or doubl. Th tripl had
nod is thus intrprtd by othrs as sang something othr than attntion. It shows tlrm, in fat, tlrat r want to spak ourslvs.

Dedlies. An ativity has to b ompletd in progressively

shorter tims until furthr improvmnt annot b mad.

Rsults are again reordd. Fleible performn strtegies. A systemati approah to an ativity is dvisd and usd. The slf-aining proglalnm ticiptory sning. Bfor a task, of a stage of a task, is ompltd, you think or look ahad to the nxt and plan how to takl it. This an b sn in many publi onta oupations, suh as ailin hek-in produrs, whr a skilld operator glanes riodially down th lin to rady for nrvous or awkward ustomrs for thy atrrally rah th orrntr. Seletiu perption of cues. This mans ing able to idntify thos ues, r ky faturs of a situation, whih ar mor important than othIs. Acurte feedbck. This is otaind from th reord-kping rfrrd to arlir and hlps you to avoid rptition of rrors. Adqute iubtion periods. Som tim has to b st asid to allow what is larnd from using ths thniqus to mull ovr in th mind. .Whn Allone for irngintiue nd intuitiue rspot|ses. you .just know, th best and quikest way to do something. Critic| inidets nd learnig periods. ssentially, this mans doing things when you ar in th most produtive fram of mind. Tiring and snhroniztio. Doing things at the most propitious moments and moving smoothly from on ativiry to another. .rsrv bank' of Slippge and don time.Havig a kind of ativitis for spar odd momnts or for when unxptd dlays our. Critil lsis of performne, Yo:u hav to study your rords, analze and evaluat, and s whr further improvmnts an b made.
outlined elow is an xampl of a flil prforman strategy.

To prvnt someon intrrupting you, you an rais your voi. This ats as a dtrrnt' but again may b sn by others as rudnss if th inreas in volume is xssiv. You an indiat the sam thing a little mor subtly y kping a hand in midgstur at th nds f sntns.

To show that you ar willing to lt somon ls tak ovr th spaking rol in a onversation' or gt a word in edgways thmslvs, you hav svral hois. You an simply om to the end of a senten and paus. You an finish y trailing off or saying .you know'. You an drawl th final syllale. You an nd on a prolongd rising or falling pith. You an om to th nd of a hnd movmnt whih is aompanying th sph. Or you an simply look stadily at th othr prson, as th rsarh y
Kndon indiatd. If, on the othr hand, you are offrd an opportunity to spak, ut wish to dlin it for the momnt, you an simply nod. You an grunt or mak .uh-huh' noises. You an request furthr larifiation of the point or you an simply rstate what has ben said, whih will nourag othrs to prod and dvelop furthr. By using signals lik ths it is pssibl not only t inreas your ffetivnss in onvrsations and disussions with others ut also to fel that you are gtting mor prsonal satisfation out of thm. Synhronization is satisfying, if you lik.

7
8

9
10

l1 T2

It will usful for you to dvlop your skill in non-vrbal

How to use time effetively

ommuniation by using 12 thniqus,.drawn from hronmis, whih will hlp you both to us time better whn ommuniating and to use it ttr in a whole rang of veryday ativitis. Th thniqus an rifly dsrid as follows:

self-training programm or flxibl prforman stratgy would typially tak this form:

Incresed flo rates. An ativity (say, rading) is timed and thn on susqunt oasions is spdd up slightly until a point is rahd whr it annot omfortably b spdd up furthr. Tims (and hene spds) on equivalnt ativities ar

rorded in a notebook.

on susqunt oasions' us rhihvr of. the 72 thniqus are appropriate (you don't hav to us thm all vry tim be flxibl)to ahiv improvd prforman. Reord in a notebook all rsults, assssmnts and other rations. Aftr, say' two wks, valuate the progrss mad.

performan.

Selt an ativity. Tim

it and

assss th quality

of

th

Deid whthr it is worth your whil to sek furthr progress or whthr to turn to anothr ativity to progrss in.

3 How long is a telephone call?

over the next week, time every telephone al| you make or reeive and |og them in your notebook. lf you have a wath or a|ulator with a timer or stopwath faility' this shouId be easy; if you have not, try to time alls to the nearest minute as acurately as you an. What is the average length of al| you make? What is the average length of a|| others make to you? Whih are longer, on average? Try shortening al|s s|ightly' without in any way appearing rude to others, lf you an ahieve it, what are the benefits (in addition to lower te|ephone bil|s)? You should find that alls can often be shortened appreiab|y without adverse|y affeting the qua|ity of the ommuniation vuhih takes
plae. You should a|so find that this is another illustration of the benefit of timing an ativity. lt makes you aware of what is really happening and an produe some surprising resu|ts.

Using thse tehniqus should rsult in gfeatr ffiiny and ffetivnss and th ration of mor tim for yourslf. Tim ration is, yu will find, ne of th most liberating of xpriens.

xerises and experiments

1 Puntuality is the po|iteness of prines
o find out how the people you mix with feel about puntua|ity, ask them what time they would atua|ly arrive for the fo||owing appointments:

f i j

d e g h

Meeting a friend for a drink in a pub at 7.30 pm An ear|y morning radio interview to be broadast live at 7.00 am A blind date outside a cinema at 7.'t5 pm A blind date in a pub at 7.'15 pm An interview for a job you would really like to get, timed for 9.30 am.

A dotor's appointment at 9.45 am A dinner date with friends for 7.00 pm A party timed to begin at 8.00 pm A meeting with your boss at 2.30 pm An air|ine flight shedu|ed to depart at 11.00 am

4 Cutting

in

When talking with friends, try using the tehniques for cutting into onversations out|ined in this chapter' What are the results? Do you find yourself being aorded a greater share of talking time? Do you find the experiene rewarding? Have you been able to identify any other tehniques for gaining aess to onversations and disussions?

How do you spend your time?

5 Working together
Observe other people talking, either around you or on television, and |ook for examp|es of failure to synhronize' xamp|es wou|d be both peop|e talking at one for paft of the time, |ong unomfortable puses' someone not being able to get a word in edgeways.

ake a sheet of A4 paper and divide it into retang|es so that you have a spae for eah half-hour of the working day from Monday to Friday. For two sample weeks, reord in eah spae the main ativity you have been engaged in. What proportion of your working day is spent in fae-to-fae ommunition with others? An examp|e of a typica| day's record is given in Figure 9.'1 . 10
11
.9, G'

6 Plan head
When you are reading, working through an in-tray, dealing with a queue of people, or serving in a bar, try looking ahead briefly to the next task or part of a task. Do you find it helpful in preparing for what is to ome?

12

z o

'l

o
q)
L

(D

()

'#-

I
J
o

oo)

G'

o.

o.

o.

',

.A

o
at

o
E
'=

oo)

.9.

o.

l-

E o () =

ligure 9.1 a sample time-p|anning exerise

Th statistics 36-24-6 will e familiar to many popl, speially thos sxist afiionados of th Miss World ontst. The figurs 55-38-07 will lss well reognizd, but thy are prhaps of vn gratr daily signifian. Thy rfr to the proportins of th impat of a mssag in a fa-to-fa
nounter whih ar aounted for by faial xprssions, nonvrbal aspts of sph, and sph itslf. In othr words, only 7Yo of th impat is vrbal, th rmaining 9% is non-vrbal. Th vrl lment is muh less signifiant than is ommonly
supposd.

In this haptr, w shall b onrnd rrith te 38Y" whih is attributabl to non-vral aspts of speeh and with how that rlats to th 7Y" vera| omponnt. It is an area of study to whih th trm prlinguistis has en applid.

5 a. o o. GT

s) s)
'

Th non-vrbal aspts of sph inlude many elemnts. In diding how to intrprt these aspets, we tak aount of volum, ton, pith, voie quality (for exampl, whther it is nasal, brathy or fsonant), rat of spaking, ant and strss.
W ar also afftd' as w shall s latr in this haptr, y th naturr and numbr of sph errors. We infr many things from th voie (ignoring words spokn for th momnt). ! mak judgmnts about ag, sex' attrativ.W nss, soial lass and duational akground. also us val haratristis in judging oupatins, in diding whthr w bliev or trust somone, and in hlping to mak our minds up about whthr w lik somon or not. ost of us will, for instan, at som time or other hav met an arttactive strangr and bn quite drawn towards them, only to b totally rpulsed as soon as thy opened their mouths and w hard thir voal haratristis.

GT

o o GT oC

C a g)

g)
.
!n

this chapter you will leam:

about the nonverbal aspects

xerise: trust me
Using a tape reorder, reord yourself trying to onvine either a friend or an imaginary stranger that you are to be trusted. You might pretend you are trying to persuade someone that something you have to sell is worth buying, that they should support you as a andidate in a |oa| government eIetion, or that you are ta|king a potentia| suiide down from |edge. lf you an enIist the
partiipation of another person in this exerise, so muh the better. How do you set the vo|ume of your speaking' the tone, pith, voice qua|ity' the rate at whih you speak, your aent, and how do you

what We say an be con.

of speech

g) GT

siderably affected by our use, deliberate or unonscious, of pauses' .ers,, .ums', hanges

the features that are

cent, to name but a few of

more

in

tone, pith' pae

and

important thn many people suppose.

p|ae stress on the Words you use? How does your use of the various non-verbal aspets of speeh integrate with the verba| aspets or the words themselv? How suessful do you think you have been?
|f

you have been doing the chapter exerises onsientious|y, this should not be too diffiu|t. You should by now be notiing some improvements in your sensitivity in using body language.

ab|e to obtain this kind of feedbak from them, |f you are working alone, you will have to rely on your own best judgement when you p|ay the tape bak. By this stage in working through this book, if

someone else is working on the exerise with you, you will be

You may have notied that p|aing a |ittle stress on positive words and phrases rather than on negative ones helps. However, too muh use of stress wil| have the same effet as too muh volume nd wiIl ommuniate an impression of dominane, or at least a wish to dominate.

Supporting what is said

howvr, hav

Body languag in gnral an usd to support and giv mphasis to what is said. Th non-veral aspes of sph,
mphasis an b givn to important words and phrass' as rl hav just sen, by inrasing th volume and by plaing strss on thm. mphasis an ahieved by reptition f th words with a similar ut slightly strongr rptition of th voal haratristis usd. If the rat of speeh is suddnly raisd or lowred, this too an have an mphasizing fft. Th important point to rmmbr with all thniqus to ahiv emphasis in ommuniation is that

a partiularly important rol in this

rgard.

Exerise review
you have had reasonab|e suess in onduting the exerise you shou|d have notied some of the following points:
|f

3 4 5

Your tone of voie has to be neither too harsh nor too smooth. Harshness grates upon the listener and wi|l tend to repe| them. oo muh smoothness an make them think they are having the wool pul|ed over their eyes and will make them suspiious, the very antithesis of trusting. You will also need to sound reasonably onfident. lt is diffiult to trust someone who does not sound as if they trust themselves. You need to avoid shrillness in pith. A voie pithed fair|y low so that it has a soothing quality - but not too soothing - will be more
likely to be trusted.

to inspire trust, volume should be neither too high nor too rust is a relationship in whih two people have an ua| status. |t is a two-way proess. It is very diffiUlt to trust someone un|ess you feel that they also trust you. Loudness gives an impression of a wish to dominate, whih wi|l mi]itate against the reation of a relationship of mutual trust. A voice whih is too soft gives an impression of diffidene or submissiveness, again hindering the establishment of a re|ationship in whih both are ual.
In order
|ow.

Too muh mphasis lads to no mphasis at all.

th mor oftn thy ar usd th lss fft thy hav. To mphasiz you hav to sltiv. Imagine a piee of writing in whih vry sntn had an xlamation mark at th nd of it.

Non-vrbal aspts of sph an e used to support the motion bing expressd. Sadnss is usually aracterized by low volum, solmn ton' a dpr voi quality than normal, slow spd of speaking and a rlativly uniform strss upon th words. Happinss and lation, on th othr hand, ar haratrized highr volum, sharpr ton' a brathless voi quality, a high spd of spaking nd more notieable strss on ky words and
phrass.

Voie qua|ity whih sounds nasal or breathless is not like|y to instil the kind of onfidence whih wil| lead to trust. A high speed of speaking will tend to prevent the grov'rth of trust. Fast ta|kers are often pereived as being just that. In the United Kingdom, people tend to rate those with ,standard' acents as more trustworthy and p|ausible than those who have regional aents. Research has shown, for instane, that teahers with what are normally rarded as midd|e-lass acents are rated by their students as being better at their subjets, more ompetent and more to be re|ied upon than those with .working-lass' acents.

Puntuation in sph is indiatd y som of ths lements as wll as by suh things as had nods, gsturs and braking ey ontat. Pith usually falls at the nds of sntns, xept with qrrstions' whr it riss. Thr ar usually pauss btwn sntns. Pauss an also ur efor and aftr partiular

words and phrases whih a spakr wishs to mphasiz. Anyone who is not too sur whr to pla full stops whn writing an hlp thmslvs to som tnt by reading aloud

what they hav writtn to s whr th markd drops or rises in pith, fllowed by short pauss' our. Ths will normally b whr th nds of sntns arr.

Speeh errors
Chaptr 13, an inrased rror rat an be an indiation of tlling lis or trying to div in some othr way. Ths rors an tak t! fo1m of simpl mispronuniations of words, suh as saying .dissidne' instad of .diffidn'. Stuttering or stammring whih is not a normal part of a persn's way of spaking will interpetd as nrvousnss or deption. Using .um,, .r, and .ah' or similr noiss enals th spakr to paus for thought without falling silnt and thus apparing to hav drid up. Often, howevr, it is br to tfain yourslf not to make suh noises as silns af more oftn interpretd as drying up by spakers than they ar by listnrs. rrors may also tak th form of orrtd sentns' unfinishd sntns' oughs, omissions and othr variations from th norm.

ost pople find it xtrmly diffiult, even whn rading from a prepard text, to read without sph rrors. As we shall s in

ody language, sin it is hr that thy an b most onvniently studid. Lik football maths, politiians ar bst rathed on TV. The us of lose-ups, th aility to us videotap rordings

to wath pi of bhaviour ovr and ovr again, and a

asonaly los-t-natur olour systm all help t provid an bundan of information.

giv them a ttr han of ontrolling or rgulating th

Thy often us mor y ontt whn thy ar speaking than is normal _ not only to mak thm appar dominant ut also to

When sitting, politiins tnd to adopt forward lean. This indiats a dsir to ooprat with the listenr in disussion.

intration btwn thmslves and thir intrviewers. Thy also try to have th last word in intrviws bause they raliz not only th vral fft of ahieving this ut also th non-vral .W fft. tnd to beliv that th last word on a subjet should allowd to the person of highst status prsnt.

rrors in sph and othr aspts of body languag tnd to produ situations in whih what is said onflits with what the body is doing. A person may be spaking pleasantly to anothr but thir body languag and speially ton of voie may b frosty. A prson might tll his frinds that he is not attratd by an attrativ woman and yet unal to rsist frqunt lng looks in hr dirtion. You might say to someonr thit you ar very intrsted in what thy are saying and yt b unal to maintain ye ontat and may frequntly look away at othr pople. You may say to somon .I'll murdr you' or .I hat you' and yt may be smiling as you say it. In all suh ass, it is th body languag whih will b livd.
This maks it vn mor important that you should e abl to xamin yorrr own us of body languag ritially. You ar

contraditing what is sid

politiians us gsturs so exaggratd as to put th ham Vitorian atof to sham. Dmagogues will saw th air wildly as thy rant and rav. Thy will thump th tal, point ausingly, raise thir arms in appals to th Almighry and paus dramatially after a partiularly feliitous phras for applaus. vn quit mild politiians sm to hang prsonaliry on they ar on th rostrum. It is lik th pdestrian, kind and onsidrat, who boms the road hog on h or sh gts ehind th whl of a at. olitiians tak grat pains to onal thir attmpts to dive popl. Thy hav to dive popl, not beause they ar ftrndamntally lss honst than th rst of us, but eaus thy hav to prsnt poliies suffiintly diffrent from thos of ir Opponnts to ommnd our support. They know that, on in offie, thy will not b able to arry out thos poliis without modifiations whih mak thir poliies similar to those of thir opponents. In othr words, in govrning th modrn state, th options availal to governmnts ar limitd. Hn, the politiian who laims to b going to d things differently has a rdibility lap t ovrom. It is a gap whih fw ross sussfully. Thos who do mak sure that thy ontrol th lower parts of thir bodies, whih is rvher th tll-tal signals will b given. It is not for nothing that th publi speaking politiian frquently hids bhind a letrn stand or, whn
satd, uss a table drape t onal th givaway areas.

l0hn thy are standing,

learly srving no usful pulpos if your dy languag is ontraditing your words at vry turn. The situation is immasurably wors if you ar unawar of it.

PoIitial body language

One of the advantages of living in a dmoray is that politiians ate frly rportd by th news mdia. Thir frquent appearans on telvision arc of' most intrrst to th studnt of

you ralize its purpos was to str you out to mak way for th nxt suppliant. Aov all, they will smil.

Politiians sk to b trustd. They will maintain ontat with a frank lok. They will hav a fi'm, *u,- handsake. They will nod frquntly rhen listening' as if anxious to know th finst detail of your problem. Thy will pla a prottiv arm around your shouldr _ and you will outsid th door for

apparnt stIofyp orrrs. Th body languag of intrnational sttsmen is boming as stndard as th srvies and failitis in intrnational hotls. In fat, politial body languge all ovr th world is assuming a samnss _ whih is disouag rather than hopefrrl. on of th prblems of homogn is that it tnds to lad
pple to assrrm that thy are all using th sam maning of a word

stats and of the Unitd Nations and you

will

se

how oftn this

manipulation in th world wold help. Politiians hav n known to hange thir lothing' to hng thir hair styls, to softn th ton of thir vois and to altr thir postur and gstur pattfn in th qust for a r imag. In th UK thr are vn diffrnes twn th partis. Th rypial Conservativ mal wars a dark suit, shirt nd ti, has a smalt haifstyle and polishd shoes. His skin is smooth and h has

Th major politial partis train their prinipal spoksmn and lomen in how to dal with th mdia and how to prsnt a favourabl imag oth of themslvs and of th party. This imag is stalished and maintained almost entirly nonvrbally. Aftr all, th words of th poliis and th sphs xist alrady and if thy wre inadquat no amount of image

or gstlrre' whn this may not be th as. At last if diffrns

vn pple ar prsrvd, som are is takn not to assum that an ation mans one thing whn it might mean something ls.

Laugh and the world laughs with you

Doubt has oasionally been exprssd as to whthr a laugh is a pie of non-vral bhaviour or whthr it is los enough to ing a word (as othr xlamations oftn ar) to be onsidrd to .! vrbal. shall rgard it for our purposes hr as non-vrbal.

middl.lass and th ton rstraind and his postur The Consrvativ fmal wll groomd. Hr voi, manner and haviour math th mal's prfetly. Th Laour voi may ontain any on of a myriad of ants from uppr rust to working lass. Postur is mor hunhd and gstures mad with less thought fr their fft. Thy tnd to stand losr than thir Conservativ orrntrparts and thy us th had ok
male, on th othr hand, has lss of an intrst in apparan.

the air of ing vrll fed. is ant is onfidnt and assured. His gsturs are ithr upright or asually asymmtrial. is similarly onvntionally dressd and

Laughtr usually follows on from, of may aompny, smils and grins. It an be graded from th quitst hukle or slight giggl to th most rauous of blly laughs. Laughtr is also .Whn inftious. one prson in a ompany starts laughing, it is vry diffiult for th othrs to avoid following suit. And why should thy? For laughtr lifts the spirits.
Sin w ar onerned hr with tnding ways of improving our us of ody languag it is Worth onsidring th laugh as an aid

His

Consrvativ to Wear asual loths. Her hairstyl may not quit as smooth, but mor natural. Gsturs will b mor lik th man' as whos qual sh rightly rgards hrslf, and sh maks a grat deal of us of th head nod and the had ok. suh vnts as pae marhs rpays arfrrl osrvation. At th othr nd of th politial ativity rang is th body language of th statesman. This is haratrizd by low phrl movmnt, rstraint in uppr body gsturs, upright posturs' rstrained had movmnts' slight smils in publi and a measured, vn pa of sph. oserv tlvision rports of mtings etwn heads of

of intrst more. Th Labour fmal is mor likly than

to this nd. You should, whr you rasonably an, enourag laughtr. If you have the faility to mak peopl laugh, us it; if you hav not' at least enourag thos rho have. As long as thre is an mphasis on laughing with, rathr than at, th results should b ntirly positive and benfiial. All you hav to avoid is an inane, pointlss akle. Friendly, onvivial laughtr should not b too diffiult to find.

Th body language of minority groups and of dmonstrators at

Exerises and experiments

1 r, ah, um
Se|et one or two pub|i speakers, leturers or speakers on teIevision' Reord the number and types of speech errors they make. Which is the one that eah is most prone to make? You shouId usual|y find that near|y every speaker has a favourite speeh error. .r' is by far the

most common.

2 Part politial broadast

Wath severa| party politial broadasts on television and see if you an identify the favourite faial expression, body movement, posture, and so on of eah politician. Compile a |ist of typical non-verba| behaviours assoiated with eah pa. Compare and ontrast them. Whih parties are most simi|hr to eah other in styles? Whih are the furthest part? |s it possib|e to tel| what a person's politial opinions are likely to be from their body language?

3 Keep still
Using a tape reorder and standing in front of a mirror, reord a short ta|k on a subjet you know we||. Try to make the talk without any body language at all. ls it possible? lf it is, is it easy? You may very wellfind this exerise virtual|y impossible to arry out.

4 There's a al! for you

observe peop|e te|ephoning. How |ose is their body language to what it would be if they were onversing fae to face? Which kinds of
te|ephoning than in fae-to.fae enounters? Do any never our?

body language an be ommuniated by te|ephone and whih annot? Are any non-verba| behaviours more exaggerated when

o o

o
{

Body languag' as you should b aware y now, is omplex nough whn you are deling with popl frm your own ulture, but whn you norrntr thos from other ulturs it bomes fraught with diffiulties. Things an so vry asily go unintntionally wrong that w shall.find it useful to onsidr som of th prinipal diffiultis nd som of th ways in whih
thy an b avoidd.

o. : o. s)

ooo a. <

q)

dward Hall tlls f instans in whih inappropriat non-vral haviour, oupld with general ultural inins1tivity, an aus poor ommuniation and an vn aus ommuniation to brak down altogther. One example dsris som ngotiations btwn Amrian and Grek offiials, whih had reahd stalmate. Latr xamination rveald that th Amrian habit of bing outspoken and forthright was rgardd by the Greeks as indiating a lak of finss, whih made them rlutant to ngotiat. Further, the Amrians rantd to limit the lngth' of mtings and to reah agrmnt, on gnral priniples first, leaving th dtails to b sorted out y sub-mmitts. This the Grks saw as a dvi to pull th wool ovr their yes, sin th Grk prati is to work out dtails in front of all onernd and to ontinu mtings for as long as nessary. Another xampl onrns th us of time. An Amrian attah6 nrv to a Latin ountry tried to affange'amting with th minister who was his oppsit number. All kinds of us ame bak that th tim was not yt rip for suh a mting. Th Amrian prsistd and was ventually rlutan granted an appointmnt. W,hn h arrivd, h was askd to wait in an outer offie. Th tim

o GI q)

;+ r
J

ministr's srtary to mak sur th ministr knr h was waiting. Time passd. Twnty minutes, 25 minuts, 30 minuts, 45 minutes. At this point, h jumped up and told th sretary h had n .ooling his hls' fo long nough and that h was .damned sik and tird, of this kind of tratmnt. His stay in th ountry Was not a happy on. H had forgotten that a 4S-minut waiting tim in that ountry was no greater than a fiv minute waiting tim in Amria.
ln this chapter you will learn:

of th appointmnt am and wnt. Aftr 1'5 minuts' he askd th

GI

. some of the more unusual, unexpeted and significnt

differences.

the use of body language

about uItural differenes in

fftiv ross-ultural ommuniation is so important in th modrn world that brakdowns like ths nd to studid for th lssons they n tah us. They also mak it inrasingly imprtant that peopl wh liv and work in ountris othr than thir orrn should be givn training in th loal ody languages as wll as th loal spokn language.

Exerise: BIack and White body language

seIet five White men and five White Women. lf you annot find this number, onduct the obseruation With as many as you an find. lf you live in an area whih is not multiraial, se|et your subjets for

Selet five B|ack men and five BIack women to observe. Also

sms to hav fousd on the Amrians, th Japans, th Aras and, to a lssr xtnt' rtain ountris of urope. Nevrthless,

som intresting findings hav bn mad.

observation from television programmes.

olours, forma|ity of lothing' patterns, and so on. Reord as much detail as you an about eye contact patterns, faiaI expressions, gestures, proximity and bodi|y ontat. When you have olIeted as muh information as you reasonab|y an, ana|yze it. What seem to be the main differenes between

Reord in your notebook, or on tape, |othing styles, inluding

In rsarh into th us of eye ontat' for instan, it has bn obsrved that Greks look at ah othr mor in publi plas, oth at those thy ar onvrsing with and at othr popl. In fat, thy fl quit upst if other popl do not show an qual uriosity in thm and fl they are being ignord. on th othr hand, Swds hav en found to look at ah othr lss often than othr uropans, but thy look for longr. Arabs afe very dpndent on eye ontat whrr onvrsing. Thy look at ah othr whn listning and rrhn talking. They find it very diffiult

Blaks and Whites in the use of body language? What are the similarities? What differenes are there between the sexes?

glasss and whos eyes annot thrfor b sn. Th Japanse look at ther pple very littl and tnd to fous thir ys on th
t>thr

to intrat sussfully rvith somone who is wearing dark

person's nk whn onvrsing.

xercise review
whih wi|| repay areful analysis and tel| you many things about how different raes and different u|tures interat. Some of the things you may have notied are:
lt is quite possib|e that you will have olIeted a rih amount of data

grtings and usiness and formal mtings than uropeans.

faint smil in private. Thy mak mor us of smils in

hav th rihst voabularis. Th Japans hav formal gestures

Amerians and th British tnd to relativly rstraind in their faial xprssions. Italians, howvr, tnd to muh mor volatil. Th Japans kp a vry straight fa in publi and use

4A 5

limp stane and lowered head indiate submissiveness when used by White peop|e; when used by Blaks this indiates that the individual has swithed otf and is not attending to the speaker. White people do not touh eah other exept in greetings; Blaks do more touhing, espeiaI|y of arms and shou|ders during onversation. B|ak people hoose more vivid colours and stronger patterns for their |othing than Whites'

Whites typialIy spend about half the time in eye ontact and half the time looking away; Blacks tend not to look at the other person when listening. The faia| expressions of B|ak peop|e are |ess restrained than those of Whites. B|ak people use more pa|ms-upward hand movements than Whites.

As far as gstures ar onrnd, probably Arabs and Indians

rm palm downwards and fluttr th fingrs. To suggest that somon is a liar thy lik a forfingr and strok n yebrow. A numr of urpean gestures hav already bn disussd in
hapter 4.
<lf

for suh ations as summoning othrs to thm. Thy xtend th

On ontrast in postur an be seen when omparing the hait Arabs in squatting ross-lggd with the Japanes or. Bowing ours in grtings and farwlls, and prsons of lower status ow lwr than ths of high status. Grmns often tend to hav a mor upright postur than popl from Latin ountris. Italians stand loser to othr peopl whn onvrsing; Germans stand further aparti Arabs stand losr and t a mor dirt angl. It is not unommon at intrnational onfrnes to see Amrians and uropans rtrating bfore Arab advans as ah tries to gt to th prferrd distane from othr popl. In Japan, position is oftn as important as proximity and you will s traditional familis walking in publi with th fathr in front, thn th wife, and th hildren at th bak.

Gultura! differenes
Thr is still a great dal f resarh ndd into th preis
natur of th differenes in th ways various popls arund th world use ody language. So far, most of the rsearh attntion

Latins us touhing bhaviour mor than othr raes, thou Arabs touh a great dal and men will frequen hold hands, somthing whih auss amusemnt to uropans. Ara females are not touhd at all in publi. Japans tou eah othr very. lil in puli, tou thy hav a tradition of athing togthr
without thr nessarily ing
a

Negotiating styles
Grard Nierenberg and Hnry Calro hav mad an xtensiv study of body languag in ngotiations' having rordd 2500 ngotiations for analysis. Thy not th importane of proximity whn trying to negotiate a sal. Popl will tnd to uy mr from somon los to thm than from someon who remains at a distan; hn, many salsmen caff litratur and visual aids with thm so that thy an apprah los to the prospetive uyer. If the buyer reats y folding his arms or with som othr dfnsiv gsture' th salsman movs away until th uyr's haviour relaxes and boms lss dfnsiv.
an ahivd in a numbr of ways. Sitting forward on a hair an ommuniat oth intrst and a dsir to agre with othrs. Unuttoning the jakt an signal an opning up to othr people. It an also show interest in what somon ls is saying. Th had ok shws interst, as we hav seen' so this an also b usd to ommuniat ooprativ intnt. Stpling (s Figur 11.1)is ommon in ngotiations, speially whn th prosptiv uyr is onsidring what is being offrd. It an also sn in othr situations whn somon wishs to

sul onnotation,to th ativity.

In apparan' som raes hav quit strit ruls. Ara womn must b so wll ovrd by loths that only thir eys ar showing. vn Ara -'' -ill gnrally b wll ovrd y
lothing. In Japan, uniforms abound. Shoolhildren and studnts hav a uniform of white shirt and blak jakt and trousrs (or skirt, in th ase of girls). Lift-girls in big departmnt stores war

uniforms and rhit glovs. !7'hit glovs are also worn by hauffurs and private hir taxidrivers.
Amongst various othr non-verbal bhaviours whih hav en observd is th fat that ton of voi is partiularly important to Arabs. Thy also mak a lot of use of smll and evn brathe on eah othr whn onvrsing, an ativity whih uropeans find disturing. motins an b reognizd from ton of voi aross ulturs. That is, vn if peopl do not undrstand th languag, thy an tll the motional stat of the speaker.

Signalling a willingness to.ooprat in a ngotiating situation

Thr ar othr univrsally undrstood xamples of ody languag - w hav akead nountred som in haptet 2, fot instan. kman and Frisn found that peopl of 13 differnt ulturs wer ale to distinguish auratly twn the nonvrbal exprssions f jy, surprise, feat, anget, sadnss and disgust. Thre ar ulturs all around th wrld in whih pople smil when thy ar h,ppy and sowl whn thy are agry.
ihal Argyl idntifid sven lmnts whih ommonly our
in gretings:

Non-verbal universals

signal onfidne and high status. But

dfnsivenss and wakness.

it an, in fat,

show

.
a

a
a

a a

smiling y ontat bodily ontat' ven in most othrwis non-ontat ulturs the prsnting of th palm of th hand, eithr to shak or simply to be sen had toss or head nod in the form of bw.

los proximity with a dirt orintation the eybrow flash

tigure 11.1 steepling

Drumming with th fingrs and tapping with th Ieet arc

haviours to wath losely in ngtiations, as thy tnd to show th suss of negotiations so som ation nds to be takn to remdy thm. This may involv getting th drummr or tappr to spak (most pople do not drum or tap whn talking).

bordom or impatin. Ths ngativ rations an prjudi

In China, popl do not lik to b singled out as uniqu and prfr to be trated as part of a tam. Womn oftn oupy important posts nd xpt to tratd as quals. Toasts are an important part of irdvan. Appointrnnts should also b arrangd in advan. Longstanding rlationships ar highly valued and are worth taking tim

businss dinners and you should prpar an ppropriate on in

Doodling may simply show that a prson nds something els to do as well as listn. or frquntly it signals ordom or t
the vry least a waning of intrst. Somthing should don to involv th dodlr in disussion.

stablish. Prsonal ontat is prfrrd to letters and telphon alls. Svral ngotiating sessions will normally b rquird, as th (]hins a anothr people who do not lik to rush things.

frowning and lsd gsturs and posturs should ommuniat

unwillingnss to others.

most appropriate for thos who wish to sm willing to ooprat in ngotiations. If th bargaining is to hard and nothing is t b given away, thn doodling, akward lean,

Forward lean, had ok, smiling' opn gesturs and posturs ar

dramati xampls. If you wish to summon a waiter at a businss lunh in.lVstern ountris, a ommon way is to hold a hand up with th index finger etndd. In Asia, howvr, this is th way you would all a dog or som other animal. In Arab ountfis' showing th sols of your fet is an insult and an Arab may also insult somon by holding a hand in front of th prson's fa.
In th USA, you an signal that vhing is all right by forming irle with th thumb and indx fingr and spreading out th rst of the fingers. But you should rmmbr that in Japan the sam gstrrre mans money and in Braz1|it is an insult.

ln using ody languag in partiular business situations, thr ar pitfalls to be avoidd. Robrt oran illustlates this y

Business as usual
r hav sen, awareness of th passage of tim varies aross ulturs..Waiting for appointments an b xpetd not only in Latin ountries but also in th iddl ast, as Rort fulran points out. In the iddl ast, persons of snior rank and status should rognizd first. Arabs lik xpressivnss and priodi displays of motion. Group-styl businss mtings with svrl things happning t onr ar typial. You should sit as near as possible to th prson you would lik to do usinss

As

spiritual powrs. Aordingly, it should not b touhd.

! often pat hildrn on th had as a sign of afftion, ut in Islami ountris th had is rgarded as th seat of mntal and

rrith and should talk aout th mattrs whih onefn you amongst whatvr othr onvrsation is going on.

W srath our heads whn w are pazz|ed. In Japan, th sam irtion is interpreted as showing angr. In most parts of th world, shaking the had means .No', but with Arabs and in parts
<lf
t<l

In th USA, th obsssion with time and shdules mans that puntuality and effiinc arc important. ompetitivnss is nouragd. Amerians ar gregarious at first mting and ar not too intrstd in diffrns in status. A brisk. businsslik approah is prferrd.

Afrians lik to get to knor someon bfore getting down to businss and th genral chat at th ginnings of usinss metings an go on for som tim. Tim is flxibl and popl who appar t b in a hurry ar mistrustd. Latness is a normal
part of lif. Rspt is xptd to b shwn to oldr popl.

In Japan, a prson may mov his right hand bakwards and f<rrwards to ommunicate a rfusal or disagrmnt. On th tlthr hand, agrmnt is shown in Afria y holding an opn palm upright and smaking it with a losd fist. Arabs will show agremnt by extnding laspd hands with th inde fingers pointing towards th othr prson.

Gr, Yugoslavia, Bulgaria and Turkey a mor usual way is toss th had to on sid, prhaps liking the tongu as wll.

ontxts will find himslf paying a high pri.

Anyone rho has to do businss ovrseas should do a lil rsarh bfore 8oin8, to find out what main non-vrbal pitfalls nd to b avoidd. It may mak th differn betwen gtting an ordr or not. In a higy omptitiv world, th businssman who fails to appriat th power of ody language in businss

What to do when you an't speak the

.!hthr

language

2 Getting your own way

Selet an everyday negotiation, suh s deiding what the famiIy wi|l wath on television, or seeking permission for time off work. on the first oasion try to get your own way by using negative, Iosed gestures and postures. On the next, try positive, open gestures and postures. Whih way is more suessfu|?

hans of having a plasant and trul-fr stay.

you af aroad on businss or on holiday, finding ut about th ody langug of th peopl you will be mting is a sensil praution. But thr ar on or two othr things you an do to minimiz th risk of ausing offn and maximiz th
near-

univrsal, urreny as muh as possil. Smiles, eyerow flashes, had oks, prsnting th palm of th right hand in grting

You should us body languag that has univrsal, or

3 Business body language

observe business peop|e ta|king in a pub|i ple, suh as a hotel lobby or airport lounge. What are their most frequently-used nonverbal behaviours? Do they differ in any way from members of the genera| publi? Consider appearance and physique, timing and synhronization and proximity and orientation as well as other aspets of body language.

nountrs to the point where you an use othr dsriptive gesturs to indiate what you want or what you wish t tll the
other person.

should all hlp to as you through th initial phass of

aggrssiv movements and an awafnss of the most obvious

Gnrally speaking,

friendly

xprssion, an avoidan of

and mbarrassmnt. If this is supportd by som attmpt at last to larn ky words and phrases from th spokn languag, thr will b fewr diffiulties. It is often surprising how dlightd people will b and how warmly thy will rspond if you hav mad sm ffort to ommuniat urith thm on thir own trms. Thy will often mor willing to ome forward and meet you half way. vn thos who liv in quit formal ulturs, like th Japanes, respond vry favourably whn apprpriate ody languag is mathed with a few halting rrords.

body languag dangers will hlp to smoth over awkwardnss

I'm a stranger here myself

With a group of friends who are willing to partiipate in the exercise, at as if you were a foreigner who does not speak the language. How do others reat to you? What are the most usefu| forms of body language? Are any situations impossible to deal with?

Exerises and experiments

Foreign films

exp|anation). Look partiu|ar|y at the use of eye ontat, head nods, gesture, posture, and so on. Listen for tone of voie, speeh errors, speed of speaking' pith and so forth. ry to wath films from, say, Frane, Germany, Russia, |ndia, and the Far ast to get a good overage of different u|tures.

Wath one or two foreign fi|ms, preferably where you do not understand the language. ln your notebook, or on tape, reord instanes of body language whih are unusua|, together With What they mean (if in doubt' try to onsu|t a native of the ountry for an

\0

shall turn our attntion at this pint to xamin a littl mor losely som of th pratial appliatins of this knowledg for .!e improving our us of body languag in speifi ontxts. bgin, in this haptr, y xamining how it an be used more ffetively whn we are at Work. The hapters that follow will onsidr its use in evryday nounters' in prsonal attration
ontributing t prsonal growth and slf-dvlopmnt.

language and how it is usd in our nountrs with othrs.

have now onsidrd all of th main aspts of ody .W

and develping bttr relationships with othrs, and in

Th kinds of oupations in whih body languag is most

important ar thos in whih thr is fa-to-fa ommuniation with mmrs of th puli. In ths .puli ontat' oupations We an also, for e sak of onvenine, inlud suh ativitis as nursing, tlevision intrviewing, all forms of businss ativity,
and tahing.

o o. a
1+

of all th possibl aspts of th us of body languag at work whih ould b onsidrd, w shall also xamin its us in mtings, in indiating attitudes to workmats, in industrial rlations, in motivating others and in th building up of work tams. But first, as usual, lt us bgin with an xris.
Exerise: antiipatory scanning tehniques
We have a|ready enountered ntiipatory sanning in Chapter 9. Here we will develop our understanding and use of it a little further. The next time you are in a pub|i p|ae where people are being served or attended to in some way in sequene (for examp|e a bar, afeteria, air|ine hek-in desk or supermarket chek.out), study the people who are working there. Look for examples of antiipatory sanning (|ooking ahead to the next person or persons to be dealt with while still attending to the person at the head of the
queue).

*g
GT

In

ql GI

this chapter you will leam: oupations such as

the role of body language in teaching te|evision interviewing

nursing

.
.

Do those who use antiipatory snning tehniques seem to be better at their jobs than those who do not? Reord in your notebook or on tape the forms the antiipatory sanning takes and the situations in whih it most frequent|y ours. What of the people who do not use it at aII? How does its absene affet their work? What e|se do you notie about the use of antiipatory sanning in pub|i ontact situations?

other forms of ontat with the publi.

business

xerise review
wi|| probably have notied that it is those who use ntiipatory sanning tehniques who are best at their jobs. |n some way, the snippets of information about peop|e yet to be attended to, whih they obtain from these brief looks ahead, enable them to hange their attitude and behaviour to fit the needs of the individual ustomer. ln bars, it an enab|e bar statf to serve more than one person at one they an be waiting for the money from someone who has just reeived a drink' be preparing the drink for the next person, taking an order from the next person and identifying the person who will be served after that' At air|ine hek-ins, where there is a queue, those who use antiipatory sanning tehniques wil|, as they are attending to one person, make periodi, brief g|anes down the |ine. hey will be |ooking partiu|arly for nervous travel|ers who may need a smile of reassurane and for those who are impatient at hving to queue and who wi|l need to be treated with additiona| tat.

You

minimum as these may distrat th intrviw. Postur may us ithr forward lan or asymmtrial laning bak aording to whthr th dominant rquirmnt is to show interst or to put a nrvous intrviw at as y making th setting more rlaxing. Proximity should b ditatd by what th interviw appars to fl omfortal with, yt popl ar oftn fored losr togthr than normal aus of amera requiremnts. An indiret orintation is thus preferable, though diretors seem to prefr a 0" orintation. Thre is normally no body ontat and

What you shou|d now do, if your own job invo|ves pub|i ontat with tehniques for yourse|f. You shou|d find that it not on|y inreases your persona| effetiveness but also improves your sense of job satisfation.

propr disussion of a topi.

most people who appear on tlevision sm to want ir apparan to b as smart as possibl. This is proably baus thir publi imag will b gratly affeted y how the viwing audin, whih may run into millions' rats to thm. Attntin to synhronization rlill b imprtant and non-vrbal aspts of sph will b usd to kp th talk going for as long as whatevr tim has bn allowd, whih is usually inadequate for th

a sequene of peopIe, is to try to deve|op antiipatory sanning

ocupational body language

Nursing is an oupation in whih ody languag is important eaus th peopl nurss deal with, in addition t fling unwll, may e apprhnsive abut an operation or about their hans of reovery' or may be worrying aout whthr vrything is all right at hom, and so on. Thy will be in partiular nd of omfort and rassuran.
fftiv body languag for nurss will inlud inrasd us of ye ontat' smiling and othr positiv faial xprssions, head nods when listning, open gsturs, frward lan in postur' los proimity and dirt orintation, inreasd us of odily

adopt an over-rigid or ovr-rlaxd pstur and a dirt or turnd-away orintation. Thy will also interrupt frequently with a nw qustion bfor th prvious on has ben answered.
h sam is tru of sm jo intrviewrs. Businss people nd a differnt kind of body languag. y ontat neds to b dominant rathr than submissive. Faial epressions will tnd to b nutral, though ther will b smils on greeting and parting. Had movemnts will also tnd to b restraind, with had nods and had oking bing sutlr than in most othr ontxts. A rason for this is tht in many situations businssmn and womn hav to kep thir rds los to thir hsts. Body language an so asily giv things away' so it is nessary for thm to try to ontrol it as muh as possibl.
neds to larn is t adapt his r hr us of body languag to that of th peopl with rhom usinss is ing done. That was said

on th other hand, intrviwrs who wish to unsttl an intrviwe will deny ey ontat' b frosty-faed, giv no had nods, gestur frquently vn when th interviw is spaking,

ontat of a supprtiv natur (hand holding' arm round shouldr, light hugging, and the lik), natnss in apparan, attntion to synhronization whn tlking to patints, and th us of nouraging voalizations (.mm-hmm', .mmm', oh'). Television intrviewrs nd to us mor y ontat than avrag baus of thir rol as listnrs rather than talkers. Faial xprssions should onentrat on showing intrst and thy should mak liberal us of had nods for th sam rason. Th had ok will also b useful. Gsturs should be kept to a

on of the most important lssons th businss ommuniator

in th last haptr aout diffrnes aording to ulture should

b of partiular intrst.

Othr oupations hav thir spial requirments. Rptionists nd pleasant facia| pressions, plnty of y ontat and a greatet affntion than usual to apprarane. Shop assistants nd to appar.smart' ut not nessarily stylish, and they also nd

when ustomers are indiating thir needs, and los proximity and odily ontat zhr this an b ahivd without awkwardnss and mbarrassmnt. They also nd to presnt a smart and onvntional apparane. Bing a pop star is not normally rgardd as an oupation, yt pop stars oftn work a lot hardr than th rst of us. !hat looks lik plasur t us an frquntly e quit arduous. It's not all tinsl and glittr in show usinss! Their body languag ontains off stag, tnd to be exaggratd. Smils ar roadr and sowls more farsom. Head movemnts also bome mor obvious and dramati. Apparan is usually unonvntional and may ven

to us smiles, an upright postr and' if thy ar dealing rith squns of peopl, antiipatoly sanning thniqus. Salesmn ned to us plenty of y ontat' had nods and head oks

prssions should help to prsnt an apprpriate slf-imag and

Smils hlp to provide rassuran and indiate liking and approval, as wll as showing willingness to interat. All fail

to otain positiv rsPonss from thrs. A high lvl of y ontat will usually b fitting, though it should b rdud if studnts xhibit signs of disomfort. It will mainly b usd to
otain and provid fdak during lassroom interation. Strss, ton, pith, vlum, rat of sph and timing of uttrans will all be varied to suit the situation. Speh rrors and hsitations should b rdud as far as pssibl and pauss should be usd to rtain students' attntion, for mphasis and to nourag studnt

prolongd ye ontat with th audin, ftn done in a dlibrately flirtatious mannr. Faial xprssions, both on and

ontriutions. Apparan an important in dtrmining whthr sfudnts aord rdibility to what a tahr says and thus nds t b takn into aount. Formal drss may not nssary' but an ovr-asual style will tnd to rdu student ratings of aadmi ompetn. Teahrs may argu that hor
thy dress in no way affts thir ability. This may b tru, but th

e bizarre in th xtrm' with heightned mak-up (vn on mn) and outragous hairstyls. Ths hangs in ppearan thn filter down into soiety itslf. Lif imitats art. One oupation in whih mastry of body languag is espeially important, not last aus of its influne ovr th young and thir dvlopmnt' is thing. Tahrs an use body languag to oftn devastating efft. On th asis of the rsearh into nonvrbal ommuniation, a profile of fftive tahr non-vrbal haviour an b offrd. In gnral trms, tahrs shuld frindly, warm and rwarding. Thy should b abl to mak ontat with all.mmbrs of a group of students. Thy should b onfidnt, well organizd and emotionally stabl. Attntivnss to studnt rsponss and ontributions is important, as is avoiding apparing to ridiul or b sarasti, hostil, angry or

viden shows that students ar inflund by this fator in forming thi opinions about who ar good tahrs and wh are not. Tahers who priz thir standing with thir studnts annot affotd to ignor it.

The effetive use of meetings

Body language an b usd in mtings t indiate a wish to spak by laning forward or y raising an indx fingr. When spaking, ey ontat with the hairman n help to .kep th .lVhr floor'. this is assurd, eye ontat with othr mmbrs f th mting in sequene will hlp to rtain attention and provid fdak on how th points that are bing mad ar bing rivd. Faial xprssions will indiat attituds to th topi,

rfogant. Lik many othrs, tahrs nd to b awar of ultural differns in th use of ody languag.
This kind of bhaviour an be promtd non-vrbally if tahers ar awar of rstritions on bodily ontat' if thy ar gnrally snsitiv to studnts' nn-vrbal indiations of appropriat proximity and rspt their prsonal spae. Thy should use a

but may also be varid in ordr to lnd xprssivnss to rhat is being said. Th sam may b said of gsturs' though thr is mor sop for xprssivnss whn standing than rhen siing

relatively upright posture to indiat thir dominant rol in lassroom intration, but us forward lan to show attntivnss. Thy should adjust thir orintation to suit the omptitive

down. Snsitivity to timing and synhronization will enable somon who wishs to spek to ut in just as th prvious spaker is finishing, rithout intrrupting, but just ahad of
othrs who may b trying to gt in.
It is worth studying metings to s th individuals who sud most frquntly in gtting the floor and how thy d it. If thy do not us high volum r intrruptions, it is usually baus

gstures should b usd to support what is said, as well as had nods to rinfore, rward and nourage othIs to spek.

or ooperativ natur of partiular tasks in lass. xprssiv

olleagus.

their timing is just fratinally sharpr than that of their

Th ne person who nds fftiv us of body languag most is th hairman. Non-vrally, h or sh an ahieve many things. H an plvent someone from spaking if h vrishs simply by dnying eye ontat and looking at othrs to show it is thir tufn to spak. His faial xprssins an show approval or disapproval of what is being said and thus hlp to ontrol th dirtion th mting taks. oftn' spakrs will hsitat bfor speaking against th wishs of somone who has n aordd high status by bing plad in th hair. Th hairman an us head nods to rnourag somon to kep on spaking or an dny thm to dtr thm from ontinuing. H or sh an gestur to kp popl quit or to get thm to speak or an turn away from thos who ar saying things h dos not agre with. So muh for th impartiality of th hair. In fat, baus of th influn of non-vrbal fators the neutral hair is virtually a myth. !hthr th hairman Wants to or not, h or sh is almost und to give thir tru flings away, unless unusually skilled in th us of body languag.

The BL of industrial relations

poor indusial rlations and rakdowns in ommuniation. Her, however, BL simply stands for ody languag. It has a
In the ontxt of British industrial relations, BL oftn stood for British Lyland and bam assoiatd in the popular mind with

gteatet bearing upon th rlationships berwn managmnt and workrs than many popl may be prepard to admit. Sin good industrial rlations dpnd upon sussful negotiations'

fruitful meetings and giv and tak on oth sides, the kind of ody language vrhih will b hlpftrl will inlude inreasd y ontat' aus this will hlp popl to lik ah othr br (or at last
dislike ah othr a litd lss). Frindly faial expessions and smils should hlp, rhou had nods and head oks whn listning may b lss likly to rgarded as insinre. Gsturs nd to rather limitd, thou thr is rol for lss inhibition whn xpressing motions with whih everyody prsnt an b xpted to agre. situation less formal, will hlp, as will, for th same reason, rathr losr proximi modified prhaps with indi orintation. Bodily furthr than th handshak when agreemnt has ben rahd and,

Forward lean

in

posttrr' with som asynmtry

to mak

tlr

arful us of body languag an' thn, sav a lot of ffort in trying to hard. It is surprising how oftn a hairman will turn to somon and atually invit thm to spak if thir faial exprssion, for xampl, shows that they disagre strongly with what is being said. Bing invitd is always etter than gatrashing.

ontat appropriat to industrial rlations probably xtnds no in gretings and farwlls, the osional slap n th bak and th reassuring hand on bak of th upper arm.

Attitudes to workmates
By our us of all the aspts of ody languag, w rval to thos w work with our flings about, and our attituds towards, them. Dnial of y ontat' a frosty fae, a turnd-away orientation, all btray a ngativ aitude. Frequent smiling and laughtr, open gsturs, relaxd posturs' los proximity and orientations whih dtr intrudrs to th grorrp' bodily ontat and sharing spaking time all haractetize a work group in whih vrybody gts on wll.

Groups in whih th pattrn of intration is like th sond xample will tend to mor fftiv than thos in whih it is lik th first. It does nt always follow, of ours, that a happy group is a produtiv gloup. It may simply b a happy group. .Wrk But, prhaps fortunately, it tnds to th ase. would a wrthd affair indd if the most efftiv groups wer th
most misral ons.

Body languag to motivat will inlude, again, inrasd ye ontat, positive faial xprssins, had nods and head oks whn listening to othrs' problms or point of view on workrlatd maffrs. opn gsfurs, forward posturs' loser proim, diret orintatin, appropriat bodily ontat and supportiv voalizations will all help to rat th kind of limat in rvhih peopl are likely to fl motivatd. Apparane is probably a minor maffr hr, but timing and syhronization an bom vry imprtant. If popl r to fel motivatd, thy must fel that they an ontriut t disussins and mtings. If thy have diffiulty in ahieving this, somthing has to b don to assist them.

Motivating others

.Warrn

eam bui|ding
posnrrs and gstuts: they merg tgether in suh a way that

Lamb took th view that it is impssible to sparat

you have to onsidr both simultanously. H also elivd that if popl ar to b wldd togethel into fftiv tams' it hlps onsidrably if thir postur-gstur mrging pattrns math ah othr, or ar at least omplmntary.
Ther is no doubt that pattrns of non-veral ommuniation do afft how wll a number of popl dvlop into a tam, but w languge rathr than just two of thm.

3 Guess who's oming to work

if you are all middle-aged and White, that he or she is young and Blak). How would this affet the way in whih the group or team you work with operates?
|magine that a new Worker at your own pIae of work was as opposite in appearane to you and your workmates as possib|e (for instane'

really nd to onsidr th influn of all spts of bdy On of th most notial harateristis of many fftive tams is that many of the mmrs look alik. ! tnd to fl w an work ttr, and vn gnrally intrat mor omfortaly, with pople who are similar in apparane to ourslvs. Thre is more thn a gtain of truth in th old adag .Birds of a fathr flok togther,. Thr will also b similaritis in th us of all th
othr aspets of body languag. Somtimes, thr may not b similarity so muh as omplmntarity - that is, a dominant prson and a submissiv prson will oftn gt along very wll togethr beaus thir bdy language dovtails. Dominant peopl lik to ontrol and rgulat interation, submissive pople will happily allow this and may atually welom it baus it rmovs nessity for thm t mak ativ disions whn thy would far rather b passiv.

Haway the lads!

Study the members of your locI footbal| team and the way they p|ay. |s the use of body language fator whih affets how we|| they play? Whih players seem to operate best together? ls this pure|y beause of footballing skill or does body language affet the situation?

xerises and experiments I What's my line?

take it in turns to portray an oupation by using body language
a|one. he others hve to guess what the oupation is. Whih kinds lf you an en|ist the partiipation of a few other people, get them to

of job are easiest to portray non.verba|ly? Whih re the esiest to guess? Are both categories made up of the same jobs?

2 The ideal workmate

workmate. Use the headings eye ontat, facial expressions, head movements, gestures, postures, proximity and orientation, bodily ontat, appearane and physique' timing and synchronization, and non-verbaI aspets of speeh.
Make a list of the non-verbal behaviours you would look for in an ideal

In addition to work, there ar all kinds of other plas in whih we mt pople and all kinds of popl that w met. hse enorrntrs

an range from th brifst passing and aknowledgement of

somone in th strt to an xffmely formal and prolonged evning funtion at rhih r hav to b on bur st ehaviour, onvrsing and aing aording to quit rigid rules, prhaps for svral hours.

onsidr th day of' a fair| typial family. Mothr gts up and th first pople she mets ar hr husand and hildren. If sh is a houswife, sh ould during th day mt nighours, frinds, th postman, th mtr rader for th gas or ltriity board, th
othr mothrs mting thir hildren from shool, the babysittr, mmbers of th parnt-teahrs' ommitt, and peopl in th pub aftr th mting. Fathr mts his wif and hildrn, and thn pssibly th nwsagnt' th station tiket insptor, fllow passngrs' fllow offi workrs' rstaurant staff, frinds in th pu after work, and peopl in the pub whn h finally aths up with his wif. Th hildren met thir parnts' frinds, lassmats' tahers, shopkprs, membrs of a hildren's thatr group touring shools, and th babysittr. In ah of ths enountrs' our own body languag and that of othr popl will e ontinuously srr.pporting (or ontraditing), rgulating or ontrolling th interation whih taks pla. It

prson dlivring mail orders, shopkpers' othr ustomrs'

oo oo o <

forms a onstant stram of ativity throughout very waking hour. It is partiularly important at th ginnings of enountrs,
and how w ehave thn an more of less dtrmin the evntual outom of the ntir mting.

o a
-

a. ql
ln this chapteryou will leam: the role

Exerise: age and sex

Tape reord the voies of several peop|e of various ages. Reord males and females in roughly equal proportions. Have them talk about subjets whih will not give their age away (for example' avoid having an older man talking about his war stories). Play the tapes to other people and see if they an identify the age and sex of the speakers from voie a|one.
|f you are unable to enlist the partiipation of other peopIe' sit with your bak to the television and see if you an guess the age and sex of several speakers. Note these down in your notebook. Then watch the piture as wel| as listening to the sound and see if this helps you to deide how aurate you Were. If you an find out from a Who's Who-type referene book of television personalities how o|d peop|e atually are' so muh the better.

various situations enountered in everyday life

of body language

in

systemati approah to anallzing other people's body

Ianguage during smll tlk.

xercise review
As you might expet, it is not too diffiu|t in most ases to identify a
person's sex from voice a|one. lt is often also quite easy, inidental|y, to identify rae or nationality. You wil| probabIy have found, whihever form of the experiment you tried, that hildren's voies can be spotted without diffiulty. Very old people often have a voie qua|ity that is relatively easy to distinguish. The real problem comes with people whose ages are approximately between 30 and 70.
here re some |ues whih can be used. Volume tends to be higher with younger people than with older ones. Tone tends to deepen with age, though it tends to sharpen and sound quite fragile with extreme

As a part of attration assssment' we dtrmin th other's sx.

If this is diffiult, as it may b with som womn with deep vois, very small brasts and a mal body shap, or with some mn wh

ar soft-skinnd and hav fmal gsturs and posturs, th rsulting onfusion an advs| affect th ommuniation bfwen us. Although all mn and rromn ar equal, w do rspnd diffrntly to persons of th opposite sx. Ths diffrnes might disappar as soity bomes mor sxually galitarian, but thy ar still with us and annot b ignord.

.!

age, nd may deve|op a tremor. Younger voies have a more onfident, even brash, sound to them in many ases. lf more than two-thirds of the voies were orret|y alloated to age and sex, this would.be a good result (allow five years either side for age).

try to assss a prson,s ag. Again, our rsponss to peopl w priv as ing oldr than ourslvs rill diffr from os w mak to youngr peopl. Thes rsponss will also be affeted by .W rspond diffrntly if a our prptions of the othr's stats.

youngr prson is of high status or an older prson is of low status. Things may hang if w om mor sially galitarian, ut hre, too' W have a lng way to go.

The first five minutes

In th first fiv minuts of an nounter, partiularly an nountr wigh a strangr' W ar heavily dpendnt upon ody languag for information about th othr prson; what h or she is like' how asy or diffiult thy ar going to b to deal with, whthI w are

other aspts of pople whih w assss in the first fw minuts inlud thir voi quality, thir ra or nationality, gnral apparan and physiqu, likely oupation, where thy liv, .W may.also and thir dutional and ultural akground. assss their soial and politial attituds and opinions from thir
us of ody language.

depend on body language aus th opning stags of onvrsations tend to entr around small talk and gnral trivia, lik th wathr, and w do not bgin to gt detaild veral information until latr. It is intrsting to not that w do not sm to e prpard to dfr our judgmnts .!e until w hav this information. sm to ned to have to siz peopl up quikly. Hen th dpndn on ody languag.
Thse first imprssions tnd to last. The fat tat they ar formd vry quikly dos not sm to dtrat from thir strength and prmanen. Inded, thy an vn b afftd by what w ar told

going to lik thm, and so n.

opening and losing conversations

At th bginning of an enountr th kinds of body languag whih an b obsrvd inlude a gteat dal of y ontat' as we ar forming th first irpressions rr hav just disussd, and faial xpressions whih ar mor likely to be positiv, in th form of smiles, than ngativ. If thy had bn likly to e ngativ, r would hav done whatvr w ould to avoid th nountr in th first plae.
Ther will probaly also hav ben yrow flash on first rognizing our ompanion, had oks as r show intrst in what nrrs thy hav for us, forward lan, lose proximity and dirt orinttion, handshaks nd prhaps hugs or holding th uppr arm rrith th fr hand while shaking the hand with the
other. Ths behaviours are thn followd in th initial stages of most .How ar you?' onversations with sterotyped hangs of the .I'm fin, how ar you?' variety. Th onvrsation rill eithr

will lik someon baus thy ar frindly, we an

.!

about somon in advan of meting thm. If w ar told that w by this and rspond in a frindly mannr when w do meet thm.
assss peopl on svral ounts whn r first met thm. .W b onditiond

rat thir attrativness, whih does not mrly man rating thir sxual attration to us. For most popl, howvr, if th prson is an affrative mmbr of the opposit sex, this will e a fator. .We will rturn to prsonal attration in tlr nxt haptr, baus

it

dpnds almost entirly on body languag for its ffet.

does hav

a strong influn upon us in our soity

and


shortly mov on to mor substantial matte(s or rill tend to b shortJivd. Aftr th transition point, th body languag sttls dorn into th turn-taking in ey ontat dsribed in Chapter 1. Faial prssions and had movmnts will hang to suit th vrbal ontent of the onvrsation. Gesturs will mphasiz points bing mad, orintation may hang so that it des not

ontrollabl. On gesfuf has bn found t e ommon amongst those seking to div. This is th hand shrug in
whih th hands ar rtatd so as to epos th palms. It is usd to signal hlplssnss. It is as if deivers were trying to nlist our sympathy aus they ould not hlp thmslvs.

remain onstantly dirt and perhaps threatning. Both partiipants will unonsiously synhtonize with ah othr, as
dsrid in Chaptr 9. Th nountr is wll undr way.

ark Knapp and som of his ollagues invstigatd what thy all .th rhtori of goodby'. Thy idntifid a numbr of itms of body language whih sem to aompany ndings of onvrsations. These inlud breaking eye ontat' left positioning
hr proposed xit), forward lean, inresd had nods, major movmnts of th lgs, and smiling. otlrer bhaviours whih may
(in whih th prson wishing to dpart is pointing towrds his

Touhing th sid of th nose, touhing th y, liking th lips. drumming th fingers and gripping alm rsts' Whilst not in thmslves being indiativ solly of falsehood, do our more oftn whn popl ar attmpting to div othrs. It omes .W.e have to kp rminding ourslves down again to ontt. that thr ar vry few pis of body language whih hav
mning on thir own rgardless of ontext.

oi

be presnt inlud swping hand movmnts and, whn sitting {ow!r: an unrossing of the lgs with a striking f th fot againsi th flor, using th hands to lvr oneslf out of th hair, prhaps pr9ded y strffng th hands on the arms f th hair as if to say, .Right, that's it, then, w'v finished what rr wantd to say io h othr'- indd, suh verbalizations may atually "..o-',y th body languag.

Albrt raian, whn h invstigatd how people bhavd whn thy wer onvying truthful messages and how they haved whn th mssags wer untruthful, disovrd that those who wr lying talkd less, talkd mor slowly, and made mor sph rrors. Their rat of body movmnt also semd to
slowr.

How to spot a liar

whn he opens his mouth, he is lying. Clarly, in ral lif no suh easy and simpl ritria apply. But thre ar rtain bhaviours rhih our mor often whn popl are lying than rhn thy ar tlling th truth. Thr is an old jok about how to tll whn a politiian is lying, whih runs as follows. Whn h smils, h iJtlling the trut. .WIrn h points an ausing fingr, h is tlling th truth. But

Blushing, prspiration, voi trmors' gulping, shaking and playing with pnils or sptales are othr fairly obvious ativitis to Wath for in pople who ar not tlling th truth. Liars ar lss likly to ngag in bodily ontat or vn to approah losly. Thir body languag vry often ontradits their spokn words. For instane, thy may say thy would b vry willing to submit thmslvs to a full nquiry nd yet thir faial xprssion may show distast and their gesturs and posture lsd. Body languag is narly always a bttr guid to
th truth than vn the mst loquent words.

Small talk
Vagu, inonsquntial hts about anothr person's gnral (though not spifi) halth, the wathr, th fortunes of th lol football, rugy or rikt tam and similar mattrs may sm to som peopl to b hardly Worth spnding tim on. Yet thy an hv an importan quite ut f proportion to their
apparnt signifian.

Lakag (non-vral bhaviour whih an individual fails to ontrol and whih an giv lus as to the ral truth) most
fequntly ours' as w have seen, in th lowr half of th body. Shuffling th fet, twithing the tos, rossing and unrossing the legs, and so on, inras when w ar trying to dive others.

Attempts at dptin do also involv th uppr half f th ody to some extnt. Faial xpressions may b apabl of ontrol, and an aomplished liar may able to maintain y ontat with his listenr, but th movemnts of th hnds ar less asily

During small talk, rhn th verbal ontent is - to say the last undmanding, W an giv most f our onentration to othr .W pepl's body languag_ and w do. an even, if w wish,
systmatially turn our attntion to ah aspt of body language


than it would tak to d so purly intuitivly. Anothr advantag hav not missd an aspt out.

so that we an larn mor abut the othr person in lss time

of a systmati pproah is that it nabls us to hek that w Nxt time you met somon for a asual hat about nothing in
partiular or th nt tim you mt a stranger at a part, try the following apprah. Tak ah aspt of ody languag disussed in this book in squn and onsidr hl th other is using it. First, ey ontat: do thy us muh or little? Do thy appear to want mor or lss ye ontat? How dilatd ar their pupils? Ar

Nxt' assess their apparan and physiqu and how you fel it affts your respons. Do you find thm attrativ? A they
taller than you or shortr? Dos this hav any efft? Are thy fat or thin? Dos this afft your rspons to thm?
!hat about ti timing and synhontzation? Does th disussion

you ar hang dvtail na or do you find yourslvs o

spaking at th sam time? If so, why? Nrvousness or a failur to synhronize for som othr rason?

thy lft rakrs or right brakrs? Do thy kp looking around at othr pople, or is their full attention givn to you?
Seondly, onsider faial exprssions.

ngative? Smils and intrest or sowls and disgust? Are thre fw or many hangs in exprssion? Are thr any miromomentary faial exprssions you an spot?

Ar they positiv or

Finally, listn to th non-verbal aspets of thir sph. Do thy mak many sph rrors? How fast d thy spak? Do thy spak loudly or softly? Hav thy a harsh tone of a smooth ton? How do th non-vral aspets of thir sph afft your
rspons to.thm?

rspond to your head nods? Dos th rhhm of thi had movemnts fit the rhythm of thir sph?

!hat about had movmnts? Do thy show intrst with had oks? Do they nourag you to spak with had nods? Do thy

Thre ar, of urs, many othr questions that an b posd, ut ths should provid you with a simpl, yt systmati mthod of valuating how othr popl us body language in everyday enounters. You should thn al to improv your us of ody language without boming too slf-onsious and dlirat. Pratie will, in any as' mak things progrssively
easier nd more natural.

Next, ar thir gsturs few or many? Ar thy xprssiv? Are

thy appropriat? Ar thy opn or losd? Do thy fold thir arms in front of thmslvs or st up othr barrirs? If thy ross thir lgs, whih way do thy ross thm, towards you or away from you?

Exerises and exper.ments I Who said that?

Obtain photographs of several people, taken in what for them is a normaI environment. hen get them to tape reord a oup|e of minutes' speeh about a topi whih will not give the environment away. See if other peop|e an math the voies to the photographs. How suessful are they?

Lok at th postur

bakward or forward lean?

is it upright or stooping? Do thy us

onsidr proximity and orintation. Do thy approah losly or not? If you mov losr, do thy ak away or turn to a lss diret orintation? !hat do you do if thy mov loser? Is thir orintation dirt or indirti Is it symmeirial or asymmtrial? Horizontal or vrtial?
gretings only? Are thy touhers or non.touhrs? W-hih parts of the body do thy touh most frquntly as thy ar talking? Arms, hands, shouldrs, aks or lswhre? Dos.th touhing, whr it ours, signal gratr intimay btr,r,en you or only th othr's wish for gratr intimay?

2 How

many people do you meet a da{?

Now onsidr their us of bodily ontat. Do thy us any? In

Make a list of a|| the peop|e you meet in a day. Be areful not to miss anyone out. Then |assify them into friends, family' aquaintanes; strangers and non*persons (people |ike waiters, bus drivers, anteen staff, and so on with whom the interation is pure|y funtiona|). What is the pattern of your daiIy interations? Are you spending as muh time with friends and family as you would like? lf not, is there anything you an do about it?

3 What's the first thing you notie?

When you meet strangers, what is the first thing about them that you notice? Does it differ for males and females? For older people and for younger people? What are the physia| harateristis.you |ook for (or respond to) in an attrative stranger of the opposite sex?

4 Tellthe truth
- or get a group together to play the game. What deeption ues he|p you to eIiminate those least like|y to be truthfu|? Ask those who seem to be able to pik out the right person more often than other people if they know how they do it. You will probably find that many of them put it down to a hunh and are totally unaware of how they have been inf|uened by body |anguage.
tel|ers
te||ing the truth, and see how aurateIy you an identify the truth

ither wath a te|evision programme in whih peop|e laim to be

o s) a o r+ o q)
) -

1+
r.+

'

-t

ln this chapter you wIll lem:

. the part played by

how nonverbal behaviour can

body language in establishing and maintaining relationships with the opposite sex

appear more attractive with better self-presentation and

impression management.

be used to make an individuI

Tru thou it may be that auty is in the ee of th bholder, it is still possible to influen what th y ses in the first.pla. Knowldg is alurays power and knoing mor' as w now do, about what popl find arativ nabls us to tak steps to present thm with what thy wish to s - or at least ome loser to it than w might if w wr in ignoran.

whthr he had small and sxy buttoks. A numbr of studis hav found that womn ar muh mor intersted in a man's prsonality, dependaility and gnral haratr.

But why should we othr? on rason is that thos who are privd by othrs as being.attrative ar reditd with having othr attriuts. Sevral studis hav shown that they ar morr likly to rgardd as eing talntd, warm and responsiv, .!,hn kind, snsitive, interesting, poisd, soial and outgoing. ompred with unattrativ popl, thy ar sen as having a

Mark Cook and Rort Hnry quot a study whih suggestd that th idal fa for both ses is oval in shap with a lar mplxion, large blu ys' a straight nose' a medium-sizd mouth, ars whih do not protrud, long ylashs, ushy yebrows for men and fin yebrows fr womn. No fae, howver, is prfe symmetria! so som variation from th
ideal is invitabl.

soially desirabl personality, as having highr oupational status' as ing mor maritally omptnt, as more intllignt
as having them, this will tnd to nourage their dvlopmnt anyway. Truth is not alrays rality, ut rhat popl priv as
and as eing happier. Whethr all attrativ peopl possss ths qualitis or not is larly opn to doubt. But if they ar privd

appeatane and physique. vry aspet of ody languag has a ontriution to mak and w oftn ovrlook a less-than-prft fae or figur whn, say, pupil dilation is high with plnty of ye ontat, faial xpressions nd gesturs ar xprssiv, or w lik th sound of someon's voi.

In rality, prsonal attration dos not dpnd simply on

rality. In othr words,

pfatial purposs' it is tru. As w said at th bginning, beauty is indd in th y of the beholdr.

So what is it that w ar looking for? !ho and what do w find attfative? ost of th studis arrid out sem to suggst that men look for thos haratristis in womn whih differntiate

if thy think it is true, thn, for all

Exerise: 1o out of 10
Some readers will remember the film 10, starring Bo Derek and Dud|ey Moore, based in part on the idea of soring the attrativeness of peop|e on a sale running from one to .|0. The

film was based on a long-standing habit of young Western males when |ooking for the ompany of young, attrative fema|es. This

omplexion, asen of faial hair, larg firm brasts, a narrowr waist, relatively broad hips and lng lgs ar all usually rgrdd as attrativ. Glenn Wilson and David Nias dsrib a study rhih rvald that, ovr th years, Miss World has on avrag bn an nglish-spaking modl, aged 27,5ft 8ins tall, blond with brown ys and with vital statistis of 35_24_35. Clarly, many womn who do not math ths strotyps ar rgardd by mn as attrative - nvrthlss, studis whih ask popl t rate photographs of attrativ womn find that most rspondents will agre on who they find th most attrativ. But avrages always do, afte all, onal a rang of individual variations.

thm from mn: fullr lips, narrowr eyebrows,

softer

exerise seeks to apply the same approah to persons of either sex.

Using the rating sa|e in Figure 14.1 (make as many opies of it as you need), rate severa| strangers over the next week. |f you an, enlist the partiipation of others so that you finish up with a reasonab|y |rge number of omp|eted sales.

Exerise review
Two things should merge from this xris. You should obtain a larr ida of prisly whih non-veral ehaviours and physial haratristis appal to you in othr people. You should also find that your ratings tnd to agree with thos of othrs rho took part in th xprimnt (if you wer frtunate
nough t find som friends or ollagus who rould).

musular hest and shouldrs, musular bips and a larg pnis. At last one study found, howver, that womn wr mor intrestd in a man's eyes, whthr or not h was slim and

It is not quite as asy to identify what it is that womn find attrativ in mn. lvln imagin that thy look for tallnss, a

whih is mor important, appearan or som othr aspt of

ody languag?

Sor popl 1 to 10 on ah of th following aspts of apparan and othr uses of bdy languag. Pla a X in th
appropriate ox. Hir
Forehad Shp of head
Fae ys
7

Boy meets girl

Lt us visualiz a first nountr twn a young man and a young Woman in a pub, diso or night lu and s what ody languag they might us to initiat intration and gin to gt to know eah othr. ! shall all th young man Pt.
Pt ntrs and pauss just insid the door, looking around. is thums ar hithd into th waist of his jans and his hands ar hanging loose. ven so thy sm to .!ithout b pointing twards his roth, thugh not in an ovious way. rea|izing it, h is alrady indiating to all th unattahd womn prsnt that h is loking for a partnr. If his stan is too ovrtly sxual, h will b sn as rgarding himslf as .God's gift to Womn'. Pt is

9 10

Nos

outh
ars

Nk Skin
Bodv uild Shouldrs
hst/brasts

ahead in dangr of oming on too strong and turning th womn off. As his ys om austomd to the rathf sudud lighting, h spis an mPry bl and maks for it. H

'Waist

Arms Hands
Buttoks Adomn and plvis

sits down, rosss one lg loosly ovr th othr so that an ankl rsts on a kne, ordrs a drink from th affrativ floor waitrss and ontinus looking around. dosn't rca|ize it yt, ut h is alrady bing wathd himslf and vry mov h maks is tlling th wathr somthing about him.

Thishs
Kns alvs
Ft Shp of lss

Lnsth of lss y ontat Faial xprssion d movmnts Gsturs Postur nd stn Proximitv and orintation Bodilv ontat Timine and svnhron ization Non-vrbal asDts of soh

young Womn is sitting hatting. Thy appar to wrappd up in ah othr's onvIsation, but in rea|tt thy ar arly listning to ah othr. As thy talk, glans dart towards th boys around th room. They ar piking out th ons thy will rspond to if askd to dane. One of thm, Susi, a pett) fashionaly.drssd 18.yar-old with short, dark hair, is already intrstd in Pt and kps glaning in his dirtion. Pt aths on of ths glans and ontinus looking at hr aftr sh has lookd away H liks what h ss, ut what should h
do?

At a tal bsid th small ara st asid for daning, a group of

On h is awar that Susi kps looking at him, h ontrives to rturn th lok with inrasing frequny. Th momnt oms whn thir ys ar almost lokd togthr. He wants to look away' as dos Susi, and if th mutual gaz ontinus too long without a development on of thm will hav to rak gaze and

TOTALS:

(For a 0 rating simply lave

lank) a

330

figure 14..| persona| attracti0n assessment sale

marrassmnt and may thrfor st in train a ngative ration' whih will mak subsquent ommniation mor diffiult. Bfor that an happn, h smiles. A slight, Warm' frindly smil. Susi smils bak. H nods barly prptibly towards th dan floor. Susi nods agrmnt, lushing slightly

lok away. This will ause the one who ds so

som

i:

hr to dan and thy go on to th floor. With hardly a word bfore suss was asiurd, h has surmountd th biggst arrir in human ommuniation, the invitation to intrat in th initial nuntr. But h is not yet hom and dry y any mans and ther ar numrous pitfalls still to avoid.

vn though sh doesn't really fl mbarrassd, just a tingling sensation of plasurabl antiipation. H gts up' gos ovr, asks

*
,i

.W

hr hair vainly all the time, oasional grooming gsturs and loths-straightning (spially pulling down a swatr slightly so that it mphasizs th brasts) an be signals of intrst and vn radiness for seual ativity.

dsired, or fattr or thinnr, or has undsirabl rath or ody odur, or is as physially attrative as semed to be the as at som distan, or has an unaptabl aent or voi quality, haratristis.

Baus th lights ar lw and the musi is on th loud sid, Pt and Susi will not hav muh opportunity to talk. If his initial attration to hr (and hrs toward him) is maintained on thy ar lose enough to find out if th othr is tallr or shortr thn

an now leav Pt and Susi to njoy thmslves and ah othr, sur in the knowledg that, vn though thy have not yt had th opprtunity to talk to ah othr in dtail (th musi is still too loud for this), thir odis hav alrafly spkn volumes.

Take your partners

Th xampl of Pete and Susi illustrats som of the gnral prinipls of using body language to find attrativ mats and vn to estalish rlationships of a lss permannt natur. In many Wys' ths ar similar to thos whih ar important in
stablishing {riendships gnrally.

thn thy

will both b sizing ah othr up on a numbr of

Thy will assss ah thr (as w saw in Chaptr 13) without knowing it, on whthr th othr givs th amount and kind of y ontat dsird (if h now kps glaning too oviously at othr womn it will tnd to put susi off), on faial prssion (if h dosn,t smil again sh may intrprt it as loss of intrst), body postur and orintation (if he keeps daning with his bak to hr, sh will go and sit down with hr friends), gsturs (if sh kps stroking hr hair, h may s h as vain), and host of othr non-vral haviours. If thy go on liking what thy s, th momnt will om whn Susi will abandon hr frinds and sit with Pt betwen daning priods. He will be oYr the sond hurdl. Thir rlationship will hav progrssd a stage. just How will Pet know that Susi liks him and is not.lVhat passing the tim until something bttr walks in th door? signals will sh giv? Nothing n b ompltly rtain baus, as we now knw, non-veral ommuniation is more depndnt on ontt than vrbal ommuniation.

y ontat befween lovrs and frinds has an vn gratr importan than it has, as w saw' at work and in vryday nountrs. As gratr looking oftn lads to gratrr liking, th duration of mutual gaz will b xtendd.
in th prsn of popl on fels los to. But it is also tru that, simply aus of this, ngativ xprssions will e mor radily .What tolratd. ar frinds and lovrs fior, after all, if you annot simply rlax and shor thm how you ar rally fling?

Faial xprssions will tnd to b positiv, if nly baus one is

If h looks into hr ys, h may notie that th pupils ar dilatd. If his general assssmnt of hr indiates that sh is nithr drugged nor drunk, h rnay intrprt this as a sign of
intrst. Sh might not atually blush, ut hr faial olouring may be heitend. This an b a favourable sign, as an prspiration, howevr slight (as long as it's not simply th result of daning r baus th pla is ovr-warm). Although she might not strok

nd mor attntion. los frinds and lovrs will suspt somthing is amiss if greater proximity is not prmittd. Somthing similar will apply if th orintation is not rasonably dirt. Bodily ontat will also be more frqunt and, in th s of lovrs, if this is not frquent nd extnsiv, it will b infrrd that all is not as wll as it should b.
Apparan may not sem to mattr muh, but it dos. If you prsist in drssing totally diffrntly, having a diffrnt hairstyl or making-up (or not making-up) in an odd wa,atth vry last this will provok lg-pulling ommnts and at th worst it rill lead to your xlusion from th group.

Similarly, it is not nssary to attnd to had movemnts' gstures and postur. Proximity and orintation, however, do

Timing and synhronization may tnd to look aftr thmselvs, ut th non-vrbal aspts of sph will e important. If your ant does not fit in, or your voie is.too loud and your frinds ar quiet, or your ton is harsh and your friends ar gntl popl, you ould wll hav prolms. Carful attntion to the ky areas of ody language efwen lovers and frinds will not b misplad. You may find that som study of th body languag of thos losst to you will provid insights into th ky areas in th spifi ontxt in whih you
find yourself.

evryday experien tells us that thr ar many good singrs, good ators' good daners, and good omedians, ut only a fw ofthm bom stars. Clearly, luk plays a palt - you hav to in tlr ht pla at the rit tim. But ody languag is also ruial.

ertainly, ody languag must b an important fator. Our

Getting on with people

Empth is the trm oftn usd to dsrib th aility to be abl to view a situation o problm from somen ls's point of viw. Sussful mpathy, of the kind nessary in ounslling, dpnds on a mor than usually snsitiv rspons to th ody languag of othrs and on using it mor fftively oneself. ssntially, empathy is a questin of adjusting to What othr parties to the intration fel is appropriat.

ladrs (whthr politial or othrwis), ntrtainrs and sports personalitis. But it is prsent to some dgree in many of the pople you met in the ours of. an avetag day. Th old man in th pub who is a .bit f a haratr' has harisma. So dos th aptain of th shool sor tam whom th girls hav a rush n. So does th guard on th train who hats to hr passngrs ovI the publi address systm and at th nd of th journy ommnds them to the saf-keping of th Almighty.

Charisma is diffiult to dfine, but it sms to be a qulity that som peopl hav whih draws othrs, ys to them' whih makes peopl defr to thm and whih auss thm to b raisd on to a pdestal in the popular mind. It is most ommon in

If thy Want mor y ontat'

grater proximity, dirt orintation or bodily ontat' you an provide it. Tith faial

th stars of vryday lif) will high ongaze and mutual gaze, ot ye ontat. For som stars it is th most important aspt of body language. Thy lov to look and, spially, t b lookd at. Thy

As far as thir us of body language is onrnd, harismati individuals will b dominant rathr than sumissiv. Stars (ven

verbal aspets of speh.

indiatin as to prfrn' you will nd to us all your sensitivity in diding what is appropriat. You an lt thm giv th lad in timing and synhonization, apparane and non-

xpression or gesturs' baus th othr might make no ovious

blossom in th limelight of others' attntion. Thy fd upon it and tliv upon it. They look around at their audins. Thy us antiipatory sanning whn moving through a rowd of fans.

reahing signifin.

As far as had nods ar onrned, th initiative lis with you. Sin thir rol is to draur out' to rinfor and to rrassur' a libral us of head nods (single and doubl of normal siz - not xaggrated) will help to noufage the vral flow neessary for fftive ounselling. As ounslling and advising are veryday skills as wll as profssional skills, ths approahes have a far

a great dal Thir faial expressions ar always fast-hanging and xprssiv. ither that or, perhaps in the ase of som pop singrs, thy ar sulln, with lowrd brows and a sdutiv pression.
Stars smil and grin

A ommon had movmnt with stars is to toss th hd akwards. It oftn ours at pauss in songs or whn taking th
squals

audin's applaus. If thy have long hair, it is quit a dtamati gestur. In th as of tnag idols, it an on its own provok movmnts. Th had is oftn tiltd bak, as if to allow vryone
as lar a viw of it as pssibl.

of dlight from th fans, as an many othr ody

Star quality
Stars possess harisma. That is what maks thm stars and maks tlrem stand out from the rowd. But how do harismati prsonalitis use bdy languag? Is their us of it what makes
them stars? [f it is, an th rst of us learn how to bom stars?

Gesturs ar important to a star. Thy must b open and th hands ar frquntly palm up with th arms strething out as if to mra th audin. Palm-up or palm-outwards gesturs of various kinds and an avoidan of lsd, dfnsive gsturs hlp, as it wre, to ring th audin into th intration: thir

rol as rivrs might mak thm passiv and therfor lss likly to applaud unlss thy wr brught in in this way. Gsturs ar oftn slf-manipulativ - stroking th hair, piking pis of fluff off th lothing, straightning loths - and may
vn b ovrtly sxual in natur.

'
t

Iz
'r3
4
5 6

Postur tnds to b upright with som forwrd lan. Vry oftn on arm is xtndd with th hand palm up and the othr hand is on the hip. Proximity is not usually los, xpt when moving through fas, though tlvision lse-ups an giv th illusion of proximity. Orintation towards th audin will usually be diret and stms from an old onvntion in the thatr that, as in tahing, you nvr turn youf bak on your audin. orientation in situations lik tlvision hat shows my b asymmtrial and indir as thre is usually an attmpt to teate a rlaxing and informal atmospher in whih intrviws will dislos mor about thmslvs than they might othrvrzis.

Ee ontt: Lookrs ar normally prfrred to non-lookrs. Giv pople as muh y ontat as you think thy an take. Fcil epressions: Be livly. Smil a lot in a Wafm' frindly manner. Lt your fa rgistr intrest. Hed mouements: Us singl and doubl head nods to norrrag others to spek and to shor attntion on your part. Us had oks for the sam rasons. Kp your hin
up, litrally.
bst way is to kep your hands out ofyour pokts and avoid

Gesturs: B prssiv, without overdoing it. Prhaps th

Adopt forward laning, symmetrial postur for shwing

Proirit d orinttion: tpproach as losely as you an without emarrassing othrs. Us a 0o orintation wherver
o|tt: Touh as oftn as you an without ausing offn. nourage touhing from othrs. .ppearne nd phsiqe: Drss aording to group norms' ut go for olour wher you n. Keep skin soft and smooth. Keep slim. This applis to both sxs, but mn may hav to rstrit olour a littl mor and do not nd to hav suh soft intrst. Us opn postufes.

arm-folding and othr barrier gsturs. Us opn gsturs. Posture:.W,hn standing, rasonably ret. when satd, adopt bakward laning symmtrial postu for informality.

thir idols.

Bodily ontat is infrqunt. Stars ar narly always popl you look at ut do not touh This may part f th rason why pop fans will oftn go to grat lngths to gt los enough to touh

7 Bodil
8

possibl.

Appearane is almost alrrays highly attrativ or highly unusual. If stars lookd like hartrd aountants or shop assistants, it wuld b more diffiult for us to put them on thir pdstals. For this kind of rason, they ar oftn more heavily made up and their style of drss is both olourful and fashionabl. Thir timing and synhronization ar sharp and dominant. Thy talk a lot and oftn in a fast, brathy, .mid-Atlanti' aent. Thy speially lik to talk about thmselvs and thir suesses. This may sm to provid a strotypial piue of a star, whih is unfortunat - stars are, dfinition, individuals. Thre hav to b things aout thm whih distinguish them from othrs. That must b rmmberd. All w an do hr is highlit som of th aspets of ody language whih aompany star quality. You do not hav to pratis them all for you an bom a star.

skins. Tirig nd sh.roniztion:Be snsitiv to the opration of ths fators, as disussd in Chaptr 9. 10 Non-uerbl spts of speh: Do not talk too muh or too fast, but try to talk as wll as listn in roughly qual proportions. Pepl like listners, ut attrative popl talk mr. Yu will hav to balane th two. Control volum, pith and ton to suit th nvironment. Aim for a rasonably standard ant and avoid regional xtrms.

If you feel you ar prsntly dfiint in your body language in mor than rwo of ths aras, you should b abl to improv your attrativnss to othrs signifiantly and notiably.

the aspts of dy languag that have n disussd, whih ar th ons that will mak othr popl think you mor affrativ? Lt us tak eah aspt in turn and see what w should b doing:

of all

How to be more attrative

Exercises and experiments

1 Who makes the first move?
observe peop|e in a plae where they are meeting for the first time ( party or a dane, say). Who initiates interation? The male, who, in

Western ulture, stilI tends to adopt an outgoing role? or the female, perhaps by permitting longer than normal eye contat? What body |anguage brings two ma|e or two female strangers together (exept in

homosexua| enounte? How does this differ from a mixed.sex enounter?

2 Stargazing
Study television stars. How do they use the 10 aspets of body
notie from what has been suggested here? ry to meet some stars in person and ondut the same analysis. Are there any differenes between their behaviour in real life and their behaviour on television?
|anguage we have disussed in this hapter? What differenes do you

3 Partners for life

gestures? Do they eho any other aspets of body language? How does their behaviour differ when they are apart from when they are together?
Study the body language of people you know who have been happily married for at |est 10 years. Do they eho eah others' postures and

4 Hello, sery
What are the body language omponents of sex appeal? List them under the ten headings used in this chapter. lf you an' ompare your assessment with those of several other people. on whih aspets do you agree?

oo a oo o
'

a. '

q)

ln this chapter you wil! leam:

the roIe of body language in personal development

. how

t+

personal growth and the exploitation of human development the roIe of body language in
the deve|opment of synergi

effetive use of body language an ontribute to

relations how nonverbal behaviour an be observed and reorded for analysis.

Thr is larly som value in dvelping body language skills for thir own saks, as thf is in devloping any othr prsonal skill. But th valu is nhand if th aim is greatr fftivness potntial.

in mmuniation and improvment is sen as making a ontribution to prsonal growth and th exploitation of human
management that it makes good sense to se its dvlpmnt as ut a mans to an nd. If, in prsnting ourselves to th world at larg and seking to manag or ontrol th imprssion we mak upon it, r an ahieve this larger purpos of prsonal dvelopmnt, thn th work don in th ours of using this book will hav aquired additional usefulnss. By now it should lar that, as we laimed in th Intrdution, ody languag an improvd - and by now, if you hav n arrying out th xriss and xprimnts at th end of ah haptr, you should see in yourslf signs of that improvement. But w might b abl to tak things furthr, and it will th task of this haptr to show how th wrk don so far an b ontinud aftr you hav finishd th book and how you an ontinu using ody languag to inrasingly r ffet. It would, aftr all, b lss thn fully useful if, at th nd of th ook, you lsed it and said to yourslf, .Right, that's it. I'v don body languag, what's

Body languag is so ntral to slf-prsntation and impression

others. he person in the middle aIls out two numbers (say' 2 and 5). he p|ayers with these numbers have to hange p|aes. The person in the middle has to try to take one of their p|aes. Sine no one knows anyone else's number, the players must first find out non-verbaIly whih players have the numbers a||ed. hey must make sure the person in the middle does not also find out. lf the person in the middle sueeds in taking a p|ayer's plae when the hangeover ours then that p|ayer goes into the midd|e' everyone gives him or her the numbered piees of paper, whih he or she shuff|es and redistributes. The game then begins again' lt an be played until everyone has had a turn in the middle or until everyone is tired of it. No one may speak, exept the person in the middle a||ing the numbers.

numbered piee of paper which they keep oneled from the

Exercise review
are without the person in the middle finding out? Whih aspets of body language do they use? How an the person in the midd|e best ath the non-verbal messages whih pass between p|ayers? |s it more diffiu|t to make others understand your number or to understand someone else's? How do players signal the moment when they wish to hange plaes? Sometimes a kind of onspiray against the person in the middle an develop in which several players pretend to be the nominated numbers. This produes onfusion and makes it easier for players to hange p|aes. You wi|l find it usefu| to make a Iist of the things you learn from playing this and the other games in this hapter.
|n p|aying this game, there re ertain things worth looking out for. How, for instane, do the p|yers establish who the numbered p|ayers

nxt?' Clearly, whatver improvmnts hd bn mad would soon disappear. There hav to ontinuation and follow-up if
imprvmnts ar to b maintaind and onsolidatd to provid a slid bas for vn furthr improvmnts.

Exerise: secret messages

There are many non.verba| games that you an play, if you an en]ist the ooperation of fami|y or friends, whih will help to develop your use of body Ianguage in a general way and thus ontribute to your persona| deve|opment. We shall look at some of

Establishing rappo
you nd to bom skilld in stblishing rappoft vrith othrs. For this t happn with rlativ ase you ned lar hannls of ommuniation, sm dgr of trust in, and aptan of, th
othr prson and a smooth pattern of interation.

them in this chapter, here and at the end, and you should try to find opportunities to p|y s many of them as possib|e. |f you are using this book as a lass text' your tutor should be able to arrange for the games to be p|ayed in the |assroom. This first game involves the non-verbal transmission of messages.

For sussful ommuniation to tak pla twn you and othr pople, and for you to find that ah nountr makes som small ontribution to furthring prsonal dvelopment,

Write numbers on piees of paper suffiient for the number of p|ayers (for instane, if there are five p|ayers, use the numbers 1 to 5). Give all the piees of paper to one person. veryone sits in a irle around this person, who gives eah of the other p|ayers a

Thr are svral things you an do to rat rapport. You an ontat at appropriat points in the intration. You an mak

use a Warm, frindly mannr' togthr with smiles and ey

rapport mor likely by treating th othr prson as an equal. You an stalish th smooth and asy pattern of intration that is nedd by using the various tehniqus disussd in this book. bond btween pople, whih maks it asir to estalish rapport. S.lrowing a ken, sympathti intrest in th othr prson, giving thm your full antion, making it lar that ther is plnty of tim for th nountr, and listning arefully to whafthy say and

Non-vrball, ou an ngag in slf-dislosur by, for instan, using a gratr variry of faial xprssions, y an inrasd us movmnt makes a ontriution to enaling othrs to mak an assssmnt of us.
It is oftn easier to dislos yourself to a strangr than to a

of

gstures

and y mof ' hanges in postu.

All

odily

Finding a ommon interest or xprien an help to rat a

If popl think thy ar unlikly to s somone again,

friend'
that.

will all hlp. You an adopt th othr's trminology

prson aquirs .strangr valu' and mor is dislosd, spially of innr thoughts and feelings.

onvntions, and genrally mt thm on their own ground.

In disussion, you will nd to kep th other prson involvd in th intration. You will nd to motivat thm and make thm dfnsivnss shown y the othr and you should onrned to s that th imprssion you mak on the othr is a good on.

Slf-dislosure is worth nouraging, oth in yourself and in othrs. It lads to slf.awarnss and knowldg and ths in turn lad to slf-dvlopmnt and personal growth.

Want to tak part. You

will nd to redue ny anxiety or

lnterative skills
It would be rmiss of us if w wr to omplet our onsideration

exprssions will show interest and a good dal of us will b mad of smiles. Had movmnts will, in th main, onsist of nods and had oks. Gsturs will b opn and nouraging. Posturs will

Clearly, many of thse things an b ahivd by using appropriat ody language. ye ontat will hir than averag. Faial

of how to us body languag mor fftivly without giving som thought as t how nn-verbal skills rat to ther
rathr than verbal. Sine, t th momnt' a great dal of intrtive skills training nglts or vn totally ignors ody
languag, thre is a ned to redrss the balane.

intrativ skills. As vr hav sn, in any fa-t-fae nuntr btwn popl, a substantial part f what happns is non-vral

forward mor often than not. Proximity will b los and orintation eithr dirt or sid by sid. Bodily ontat will ftn b
appropriat, hlding a hand or plaing

Rapport is easier to stablish efwn popl who look and drss alik, so this aspt of body languag may be important. Timing and synhronization will b ruial and it is btter if you let th othr person ditat th pae and styl f intration and sk to fit in with it and nourag it. This an hlped y using nonvrbal aspts of sph, suh as a soft tone, low volum and various supportiv voalizations.

"',

ai-

round a shouldr.

An intgrated approah to th dvlopmnt of intrative or soial skills would ontain svral lments. Thr vrould be
prati. xriss and xprimnts lik th ons in this book provid this. If rsponss ar rordd, this maks it possibl for you to provide yurslf with fedak, whih promotes furthr improvement. Rol-playing provids an xllnt oppornrnity to intgrat both verbal and non-vrbal skills. In this kind of ativity rol-rvrsal, in whih you assume a rol opposit to that whih you would normally oupy in a situation, is partiularly usful. xampls mit fathrs ehaving as hildren, managrs behaving as shop

Se|f.dislosure
will dislos more and hav diffrndy whn th prson ty ire with has first lt him- or hrslf known in various respts. In
.th transparent slf,' or th willingnss of pople to dislos information aout themslvs to othrs. H has shown that popl
Sidny Jourard has done a grat deal of rsarh into what h alls

stwards, salsmn behaving as ustomrs, and vie vrsa. Again, fdbak (prhaps throu th us of vido taping) nabls partiipants to judge hor well or how badly thy have performd. Games, of th kind suggestd in this hapte, also help.

other words, if you wish to find out mor about a person you ar mor likely to ahiv this if you first voluntr information about yourslf. This an b don oth vrbally and non-vrbally.

Imitations of modls of good prati, disussions of situations with othrs and rading (perhaps of som of th ooks listd in th Furthr Reading stion) will all mak a ontribution.

Although aution has ben urgd over enountr groups' som popl an find thm usful. Thr ar, howvr, alternativ forms of snsitivity training whih are less strssful. Ths inlud wathing films or tlvision programms and thn disussing peopl's bhaviour with othrs; having somon rad a passag and assssing th emotional state ing portrayd rrhen th words annot b heard; or doing som lmntary rording of body language in th way suggstd latr in this
hapter.

Reording body tanguage

For thos who wish to pursu thir study of body languag furthr, it will b usful to mak som mor systmati
erdings of non-val bhaviour. Two possibilitis foow.

but you an still ahiv a great dal on your own. Th important point to keep in mind is that skill in using ody
languag nds to b sen in th ontext of dveloping intrativ skills gnrally.

If th involvmnt f othrs an be surd. so muh the bttr.

First, whil wathing a hosen subjt n tlevision or in real life, rord their body languag on a oding shet (see Figur 15.1). This an latr e ana|edfor the purpos of estalishing pattrns and to idntify puliaritis in bhaviural styls. Sond, rord yorrr rsponses to your sujt's ody languag on a rating sal (s Figur 15.2). This should provid vn
mor information for analysis and assssmnt.
3 4

Synergy
Synrgy is said to our whn th outomr of a situation is greatet than th sum of the inputs. It is sometims dsribed y th formula 2 + 2 = 5. xampls of synrgy might inlude the prforman of a play tht is not just good but gts sveral urtain alls from a rapturous audin; th football tam whih
go with that tra swing.
dos not mrly win its mathes but sms as if it annot los; th paft at whih vrybody rally njoys thmselvs and sems to

Postur hang Proximity and orintation hang Bodily ontat Appara (rat on sl 1. to 10) Timins and synhronization 10 Non-vral aspets of sph / if bhaviour Dresent: ligure 15.1 body |nguge coding sherl

4 5 6 7 8 9

1 v ontat 2 Facta| prssion hans 3 Had movmnts

Gstues

.g. 1

) 6

8 9

and a sense of bing spial, that is synrgy. vryody is working togthr so well that it seems as if thy simply ould not .W.hn mak a mistake, that is synrgy. an artist givs suh a perftly timd and paed prforman that it is absolutly flawlss, that is syrrrgy.
Synrgy an also promotd by y ontat' had movmnt, gsturs' posturs and non-vrbal aspts of speeh whr ths

Non-verbally' synrgy .Whn is promotd speially by sensitiv timing and synhronizatin. things ar going so well and with suh a rhythm that an oasion aquirs a dimnsion of magi .W.hn

xerises and experiments

1 Random groups
as the game leder a|ls out a number, suh as two or four, and the players have to form into groups of that size. No-one may speak. Anyone left over drops out of the game. he game continues untiI only two people remain. ln this game, it is interesting to see who are the most sueqsful players and who re the least suessful. Differenes in their use of body |anguage shou|d be deteted.

A group of players moves freely around a room. A person appointed

hav an influn on peopl's rations to what has just happend and antiipation of what is bout to happn. Things
ned to work togethr partiularly well for synrgy to e produd. W,hn it is, it adds an extr quality whih is wll worth striving for.

2 ls a wink as good as a nod?

A group of p|ayers is divided into two groups. Half sit on hairs and half stand behind the hairs, arraged in a irle. one chair is left

Attrativ/good

looking Unattrative/ugly Smart ------- Unkemt CIean ------- Di.ty igh slf.steem Low slf.stem Amitious Unamitious '$?arm -**---- Cold Approahal ------- Aloof Sought after Avoidd H"ppy ------- Dpressd alm ----_-- Anious Rewarding Unrewarding Genrous ---_--- Mn Soiable Unsoiabl Permissiv ---.--- Strit Kind -----_- ruel Has.prsn' FIas no.presn' Distinguished Undistinguished Respetd Spurnd Confident Timorous Assertiv Sumissiv Charismati edior ------Progrssiv olourful Liks hildrn Businesslik
Suess Tks risks xprssiv Rsponsile Pratil Casual Indpendent Peaeful Bright

empty (i.e. there must be an odd number of player. The person behind the empty hair has to Wink at a seated p|ayer. hat player has to try to get to the empty hair and the person stnding behind has to try to prevent him or her' lf he or she sueeds in preventing the esape' both players hange plaes and the person With the empty hair tries again. lt is worth notiing if one attractive member of the group gets more winks than anyone else, and if seated players try to avoid being Winked at by unattrative standing p|ayers.

3 he magic mirror
ah player finds a patner and stands faing them. The p|ayers try to move in suh a Way that they copy eah other, as if they Were mirror images. hose who observe the game shou|d |ook to see Who gives a |ead, Whih people are better at opying than others and Whih people do things that are almost impossible to opy.

Sta

-____-- on

xtrovet (outgoing)

Ative ---_*__

lmpulsiv

Straightforwad

asuline

*------------*-----

Inhiitd Irresponsibl Rfltive Osessiv Depndent Aggrssive

of th rowd Failur Rationary Colourless Dos not lik hildren Disorganized Introvert (inward looking) Laz Cutious ontrolld

4 Silent drawing
A number of peop|e sit round a piee of paper, supp|ied With rayons or fe|t.tipped pens of different o|ours. No one seaks' ah person Ontributes as much or as |itt|e as he or she Wishes to reate a drawing on the piee of paper. Who starts? Who does most? Who does nothing at all? How does the group deide it has finished? What are the most ommon non-verbaI behaviours?

5 Come

in if you an get in

Dull

Open Spendthrift Sympathti Considerat

P|ace

Honest Libral Drinks

Thrifty

Dvious Dishonest Shifty

Consrvativ

Feminin

he p|ayers Wait outside a room. They ome in one t a time and take up a position they find omfortab|e near peop|e they Iike. No one may speak. The game finishes when everyone is fin||y plaed. How many groups form? Who is left out? What body language do people use to show that they want someone to join them? How do they show they do not want someone to join them?

Unsympatheti Inonsidrate

Abstains

'Watm

|eai !---*__ Dirtv

at oint n sale for eample:

---!---

Coli

figure 15.2 smantic differentia| rating sale for preptios 0f others' nonverbl behaviour

o o o a o 5

lt

yond onsious ontrol, it an more rvaling than many othr asprts of body languag.

Fil epressios should b livly and xpressiv rathr than too arefully ontrolled and rstritd. ovment provides othrs with information about us, information whih is mor likely to provok fvourabl rspons. vn unaffrativ people an appar affrativ if thy have livly and xpressive fas. any omdians ar ugly or have oddJooking faes, yt thir fas ar usually so xpressiv that thir ugliness almost boms a kind of bauty.
.W

should not think of this as th nd of your study of body languag, however. You an ontinue thai for th rst of your life, if you wish, by always paying mor attention to non-vral aspts of ommuniation than you did for you rad this book. Hopfully, you will hav ovrom th mbarrassment that many popl fel ovr disussin of body language. You should b able to rgard it as a skill in th sam Way that rading, writing, listening and speaking are skills. As these an b
improvd y trining, so an body languag.

languag, its natur, its uss and how it an b improvd. You

ar approahing th nd of our onsideration of body

Hed mouemets,espeially nods, an hlp to kp an nountrr progressing smoothly and so thy, too, should b nouraged. Th mor you allow, and vn nourag' othr popl to talk, th mor they will lik you. Not that you should ontnt yourslf with bing a permannt listner, simply that you should sk to share th flor, as it wre, and avoid hogging it. Gestres should e opn and xpressiv, but not to the point of eing ontrivd and afftd. Just lt them flow as a natural aompaniment both to rest of yur body languag and to what you say. Avid dfnsiv, barrir gstures. Palm up or palm outward gesturs ar speially usful to nourage. on th othr hand, it is worth noting that high-status individuals xhibit low periphral movment in th frm of few gsturs and few hangs in postur. On again, it is a qustion of judging what
is most appropriat in the irumstans.

importnt? ar th essntial featurs of body language that you should onentrate on and sk to dvlop in your everyday nountrs with other peopl at work and at, play? You are fre, of ours, to form your own opinions on this on th basis of what you have larnd both from rading th book and from
neverthlss find it usful to hav a viw against whih you an measur your own. Lt us onsidr ah aspt of bdy languag sparatly, but rmemI that its efftive us rquirs all aspts .W

information whih has ben givn, whih ar th most .What

of all

th points that hav bn mad in this book and of all th

Posture should b upright with forward lan Whn trying to

arrying out the xrises and xpriments. You might

onvy ativ intrst and involvmnt. But thr are tims whn an asymmtrial laning bak will hlp to kep th atmosphr informal and rlaxd. Stooping and slouhing should always b avoidd as ths will almost always give an imprssion of lak of intrst or other ngativ flings. Profunit should b nouragd. In our.Wstrn ultur we tnd to distan ourslvs rather mor than in many othr ulturs, so .W an thre an svral advantags in allowing losnss. always softn any stress produed y this y adopting an indiret rfltiv thought is nouragd mor by a horizontal orintation than a vertial on.

to b

sparat th aspts for onvenin of amination.

integratd.

must rmind ourslvs that we nly

mor aurat undrstanding of othrs' body languag. hav to rmmer that ommuniation is as muh a qustion of aurate reption of signals as it is of skilful transmission. Pupil siz is a useful indiator of liking, at los quarters. As it is

e contt should be nouraged. Avoid staring, but more y ontat is likly to lead to gfatr liking, gratr aurarnss and
.lVe

orintation. When w ar alon

it is worth rmmring that

Bodil contct should be enouragd wher it will not lad to mbarrssmnt. Handshaks, arm pats' shouldr pats' arm round shouldrs and guiding hands on th arm or bak may b

th bst ons to start with. But' as w said' ar needs to be xrisd hre and progrss in using bodily ontat should b
lad.

dittd y what othrs find appropriat. It is more a qustion of

following othrs? initiatives rathr than taking too muh of a

ppere nd phsique should hangd whr you an se that this will ring about improvmnts. xprimnting with lothing an oftn rvel nw ways of drssing whih produe a mor favoural rspns from others. Sine a high value has bn plad upon slimnss in our soity, overwight peopl

C
]

{r
r

m ll

might sriously onsidr eithr slimming down or at least

drssing in ways whih disguis th xss flsh.

Tiring and snchroniztion ate basd on suh subtl signals that taks a good dal of tim and ffort to rfin thm. Nvrthlss, it is worth '''lrking to improv them. Prhaps th best way is to obsrv arfully those peopl you an idniify as hving a partiularly aute snse of timing and who are abl to synhroniz with othrs with sming prftion.

it

In rsarh trms' in spit of th fact that som rsarh was don ovr a hundrd yars ago' body languag (or non-vrbal

o o q)
fl

J
-

No-uerbl spts of speeh provide an atea in whih, one you are awate of the haratristis of your own speeh - prhaps y listening to a tap of yourself - you an xris som ontroi. Avoid spaking too loudlywith to harsh a ton. Avoid spaking too rapidly and using .umms', .ers', and .ahs'whrver you an. Aim to maintain as unintrruptd a flow of sph as pssibl, withut sming too polishd and glib. Aov all, you should rmmbr that ody languag is only on ommuniation skill. It is limitd in th amount and range of motions and attituds. But aus it dos also hav a vital role in supporting (or ontraditing) vrbal ommuniation it neds to b dvlod in th sam way as othr ommuniation skills. Kp an y on your own and othr peopl's body language, pratis the instrution and guidan offercd in this book, rad other books on body languag and you should find that, as your skill in using it ontinues to improve, your njoymnt and satisfation in interating with othr peopl grows aordingly. You will taking important stps in the dvlopment of your full potntial and will hlping othrs in th ahivment of th highst objtivs to whih humnkind an aspir, th growth of human undrstanding and the promotion of truly ffetive intrprsona] ommuniation.

ommuniation, as rsarhrs usually all it) is still a vry young subjt. Although a gteat dal of rsarh has n don in th last 30 years, muh rmains to e don. Nvrthlss, you will, if you wish to pursu your intrst in ody languag, find it usful to rad som of th books blow.

Argyl, NI. (L972')Th scholog of Interpersol Behuiour'

Pnguin. Agyle, . (197 5) Bodil Communition, etuen.

Axtll, R.. (199s) Gestures: The Do's nd Do'ts of Bod .W

Lngug round
th

orld, Wily.

Birdwhistll, R. (1973) Kinesis d ontexr, enguin.

(1'997) Bod Lngltge: The enig of odern Blak, Sport' Lawrn 6 Wishart. ^. Caro, . (1'994| The Bod Lnguge of Poker, Carol Pulishing Corporation.

information

it an

GT

onvey and is most suited to portraying

Cok, M. & Hnry, R. (1,978) Seul Attrtio, Pergamon.

Press.

A Visul Guide, Nwlaf. Cohn, D. (1999) Bod Lnguge in Relatioships, Shldon

Clayton, P. (1999) Bod Lnguge: Cundiff, . (1,972) Kinesics' Parker Publishing Co (USA).

. (1865, rpulishd 1'965) pression of tbe motions i n d Animls' University of Chiago Prss.
Darwin,
Diagram Group (1999) Bod Lnguge,Harper Collins.

Dukman, D., Rozelle, R..

& Baxtr, I.. (|9s2) Nonuerbl orrlmunitio, Sage Puliations.

Thorsons.

Quilliam, s. (1995) Bod Lnguge Serets for

Sess

t Work,

arly, G. (d.) (1998) Bod Lngug:.Writers on Sport, Graywolf

Prss.

Roson, P. (1998) Bod Lnguge,F. Watts.

kman, P. & Friesen,

Hall.

v.v.

(1975) tJnmskigth Fae,Prnti-

Rosenthal, R. (d) (1979) Skill i Nouerb| ommunition Indiuidul Differenes, olgeshlagr' Gunn 6 Ham. Rush, J. & Ks, W. (1956) Nonuerbl ommuniction, Univrsity of Califrnia Prss. Ruthrof, H. (1998) The Bod in Lguge, Cassll. Shftn, A.. (L972) Bod Lnguge ad Soil ordr, Prnti-Hall.
.!imann,

Fast, J. 0971'| Bod Lngug, Pan Boks.

Hall, .T. (1959) The Silent Lnguge, Doublday.

Hall, J..!. (1999) Bod Lnguage,arper ollins. .Words, arrison, R. (1'97 4) B eond Prnti-Hall.
Hss, .H. (1975) Th Tell-Tle e,an Nostrand Rinhold.

Sommr, R. (1969) Personl Spe, Prnti-Hall.

Jourard, S. (197 L) Self-dislosure,'Wi|e. Klink, . (1 97 5 ) F ir st Imp r e s s ios, P r enti-Hall.

J.. 6 Harrison, R.P. (1983) Nouerbal Intertion, Sag Publiations.

Toronto Prss.

Knapp, NI.L. (1972) Nouerbl ommuniction in Ht Iterctio, Holt, Rinehart E Winston. Kort, B. (1998) Bod Lguge in Litrture, Univrsity of
Lam, T. (1965) Posture d Gesture, Dukworth.

!ilson, G. & Laughlin, . (1996| Winning \Yith Bod Lnguge, Bloomsbury.

.Wilson,

G. 6 Nias, D. (1976) Lou's stries, Opn Books.

Franklin.

Zunin, L. (1'972) Contt: The First Four Miutes, Talmy

Prss.

Lwis, D. (1996) Tbe Bod Lguge of hildren, Souvnir

B

Lovitt, J. 09 9 6)
l0ayland.

od Lguge, Li||nas Publishing.

affhws, R.o. (1990) Sigs d Srnbols: Bod Lnguge,

hrabian,
Athrton.

t.

ehraian,

A.

(1971) Silet essges,

.V/adsworth.

(1,972) Nouerbl ommuiction' |dine

orris, D. (1977) nt.utching, Cap. orris, D. (1979) Gestures, ape.

Neill, S. 6 Caswll, . (1'99) Bod Lguge for ompett

Tehrs, Routldg.

Nirnbeg, G.I.

Like Booh, Hanau.

& Calro, TI.H.

(1973)

HoTo Red APerson

B
=' a.
-l

ee ontat

121'129,1841' 165 eyebrow flash 12, 24, 37, 149

faia| expression
.t8.0n

7-1,4' 50,69,

110'

Kendon' Adm 1l0 kinesis .tl.5' 08 Knapp, Mrk 82' oi Lamb, Warrn 56. 1.l3. l0 Iaughing '123 leakage 46, 150 leav-taking 50

18

il

o x

117,129,1t9, 1414,152 fashions 102 fear 26,61' 10 feedbak 11-13' 113

irst impression s 2, 97 formality 165 Friesen, \N allace 22, 42
f

45' 62'

legs 46, 76,94, 15{) liking 13, 61, 141

|istening 12, 25,

looking 9-16,76, 159

&,

61' l70

aggression 1, 16, 22, 60, 61 Amerians 127'129'132 anger 19' 22-3,274' 42' 13o' 1l antiipatory sreening 113' 137-8'
140 130, 135 Argy|e' Mihae| 10' 1' 42,86,90' 99, 111,'!30 attitudes 11' 114' 16, 19, 21, 26,

age 10' 26'51'2,97' 101' 104, 117,1474, 149

aent 117-8' 160' 162' 164 adptors 42 "

ompetition Vs' ooperation 6971 Condon, William 110 Cook, Mark 1' 157 ontext 1, 22, , 52' 151

rowding 75.8
ulturaI

differenes 128.30 universals 130

gaze $16,76, 159 Germans 129 gestures 41154 goodbye 43,83, 150 Greeks 127,129 greetings 19,37,89' 120' 1zli} grooming 63,86, 161 groups O0' 63,68-9, 142,172 dwards 68' .106' 127 handshakes 87{, 149 hair 24' 49,63, 1o2, 156' 16 happiness 22,26,119 haotics 86
HaI|,

Henry, Robert 157 markers 34' 7

meetings 141

apearane 26' 944, 97-102, 12',

deception 120,150-l depression 21J', disgust 22'2,27,1 distane 68-9,75-8 dominne 11' 119 doodling 132
Derek,

Darwin, Charles 19

mesomorph 99' 1(. .lo3 messages' serot 10&0 miromomentary expreslllltln 27 Moore, Dudley 157 Moran' Robert 12 Morris, Desmond 47{, 87, 80, 0O
Nierenberg, Gerrd 42' .o' 131 non-verba| ommunistl()ll 12' 1|, 68' 106' 1r

Mehrabian, AIbert 60-1

Bo

157

attration 12,14,,137' 148' 160

Baxter, James 68 Berne, ri 90 Birdwhistell, Ray 45,56, 101 B|aks' body |anguage of 128

56,58,88, 141,142

28'/.,7,8,42'50,52,

head ock '25,5'7,122' 11, 139, 143, 149 head movements 1-8' 139' 150

drmati performanes 66 kman, Pau| 22'42 etomorph 99' 1(' 103 emblems 42 emotions, expression of 13, 19,

head nods 38' 110' 112'1'162 Hedin. Rihard 87

observation of body languUn I t:l oupations, body Iangut;tt ltr

18-4.o

homosexuals 14, 8il Hong Kong 76

illustrators 42

business 139 nursing 138

bodi|y ontat 81.92' 138, 143, 152' 161' 1'17o'17

bodytyes 99-101

224'2'28,42'1o'14,
178

imitation (posture and gesture

.|43 opying) 56' impression management 168

W interviewing 139 .t3o' .l8-e. |.2 orientation 67{0'

para|inguistis 117

reeptionists .t39 teahing 14o

pop stars 140

hronemis 106 lassroom behaviour 140-.t |othes hanging exerise 102,

103-4 communiation ski||s 16' 178

Calero, Henry 42, , 11 harisma 162-4 hi|dren .!0' 1, e,28' 89' 13il

empathy 162 enountergroups 172 endomorph 99, 1(X), 103 exerises and eperiments 16-17'

industrial relations 143 interation 12' 68' 78' 1

oauses'109-10

29.0' 30,53.4, 65{' 70' 924, i04' 11l15,1, 134.' 144-5' 1gg4'

interest 22,23 interviewing 139 intimay 87 Italians 129

personal developmorlt 107 7li personal spae 69' 7

165{, 173-5

Japanese 127,1N Jourard, Sidney 83,170

physique 9&1( posture 5ffi6 proxemis 68 proximity 67-80 pupil dilation 157

quasi-ourtship behaviour 49' 52

rapport 51,63, 169

regulators 4!!

sympathy 52 synhronization synergy 172

l0$15

role-playing 171 Roze|le, Rihard 68 sadness 22

Shef|en' A|bert 49' 63

tapping 132
tenitoriality 76
time and timing 105-15

touhing 8142 127,171-2

training in body |anguge 27' 39' see a/so exerises and experiments trust exerise .|17-19

srathing 42

se|f-dis|osure 170 se||ing 52' 97' 13l- sex differenes 37' 51' sign languages 42,53 si|ene 44, 10}10 smll ta|k 151-2

98

turn-taking 150 V, observing body language on 6.4'

121 universal body language 130
verba| ommuniation

smile 1S2l

Sommer, Robert 75-6 speeh, non.verbl aspets of

16' 160' .t78

staring lon 176 status 11,60-l stoepling 46, 131 'stranger value' 171 surprise 27

1124 stane 5.5{6

voca| charateristis 117

warmth 52'58,7 wathing exerise 8. .winking 12'32,

zigzagtable

724

,-s/

body language
gordon

language?
Are you interestd in the |atest theories and researh? Wou|d you |ike to improve your own body Ianguage?
wi|l teah you how to use and rspond to body

r.

wainwright

Do you want to |earn how to understand and interpret body

Body Language

|anguage more effetive|y both in your persona| life and at work. With the he|p of pratia| exerises, Iearn how to interpret the

silnt messages of body |anguage whih reveaI far more than the spoken word in onveying true fee|ings.

Gordon R. Winwright is a speiaIist in ommuniation studies

and a onsultant in human resoure devIooment.

Why not try Psycho|ogy o Dream lnterpretation o or visit www.teahyourself.o.uk?

Cover Simon Watson/Getty lmages

the leader in s|f-learning with more than 0 tit|es, Covering a|l subjets b where you Want to be with teah yourself

l|Illllilll]lil |lr[il