<i>Quick camera change! To the hallway we go!

All we see at the moment is the back of

Miko, wearing street clothes, of course. The back of his shirt has a weird message that
says, “I job to spikes.” You know, I wonder what ever happened to that gimmick? Well,
anywho, Miko’s walking down the brightly-lit hallway, and his arms are in front of him,
as if he’s holding something. Of course, since the camera’s behind him, we don’t really
know what he’s holding. With a quick stride, Miko hums his way along, to the tune of the
theme song of “Batman: The Animated Series.”</i>

<b>Miko:</b> Hmm… Hmmmmm hmmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm hmm…. Da

da da! Dun dun dad a dad a dad a da da! DUM! [Whistle whistle!]

<i>..Man, can this guy wail or what! …………. Yeah, he paid me to say that. Let’s get to
the point, shall we? Miko comes to an abrupt halt, and the camera man – handicapped as
ever – almost runs right into him. Miko turns to the right to face an unlabeled door, as the
camera adjusts the angle. What the..? That’s a sausage link hanging over his arm! What
the hell else is he carrying?!?</i>

<b>Miko:</b> Oh, man! Will he ever be surprised! Hee hee..

<i>Miko cracks a childish grin and knocks on the door without inhibition.</i>

<b><i>Knock knock knock knock knooooooock! Thwamp! Knock! Ba-dump! Knock

knock knock!</i></b>

<i>Apparently, Miko’s knocking is bilingual. Say, whose door is this anyway? Suddenly,
the door swings open from the inside. Being at a parallel angle with the wall, the camera
doesn’t show anything inside the door. However, Miko can obviously see who it is, and
he gives out a nice laugh.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> Hahar! I’ve been waiting all day to see you, man. See, look, I brought you
some stuff! Sausage links, a cherry pie, three family-size jars of mayonnaise, a basket of
guava fruits, three bananas, two beers, a dollar drug-store toy pistol, and fifty packages of
Pixie Sticks! We’re gonna have a blast! A feast! A feast, I say! Why…

<i>..As Miko rambles on, there is no reaction from inside the doorway.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> …we can even invite “lady friends,” if you know what I mean! Wacka-
wacka-wayoooo!!!!! Brew-ha, I say, BREW-HA!!

<i>Gathering his now-revealed items closer to himself, Miko begins walking into the
room. Oh, right, and he keeps talking.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> So, here’s what I was thinking: We can go and start having chugging
contests with all the Pixie sticks, and then do the same thing with the mayonnaise, and
then – HEY!!!
<i>Not a second after Miko walks into the door and gets completely off-camera, he steps
right back out again – with a pie on his face. How comical. Red goop (supposedly cherry
filling) drips down his face and shoulders, and the sausage links fall down to the ground.
Trying to gather his bearings, Miko stumbles backwards, all the way to the opposing
wall. The camera pans over to follow him, leaving the door off-camera. Once he’s finally
leaning against the wall, Miko tries wiping the filling off his face. Without thinking,
though, he fully reaches his left hand to his face, and therefore ends up dropping all three
jars of mayonnaise onto his right foot!</i>

<b><i>Thud! Thud! Thud!</i></b>

<b>Miko:</b> YEEEEEEEE-OWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<i>Grabbing for his foot with both hands, the fruits, the beers, and the bananas all fall
down onto his left foot. Typical. Here we go again.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> YEEEEEEEE-OWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<i>For some odd reason (probably “instinct,” as he’d call it), Miko just starts lifting up
both feet and then stomping them back down on the ground in alternate motions. It’s kind
of like running in place.. or something. As he’s moving, the sausage links, which are
hanging on his arm, flop down to the ground.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> My sausage!

<i>The Pixie Sticks, then, follow suit, and fall to the ground. However, being in this
gigantic 50-piece package thing, they all explode upon hitting the ground, and pixie dust
(which, for the record, is really just colored sugar) flies up, completely surrounding Miko
in a rainbow-escent cloud. Aww, how fruity. Of course, in reaction to THIS, Miko starts
coughing.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> GAHH!! COUGHCOUGH!! MY EYES! I CAN’T SEE!! THEY

BURN!!! THEY BURRRRRRNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

<i>Of course, the Mikotic one spazzes out even more than he already was, and starts
twitching his left hand. However, his left hand is still clutching the toy gun, and due to
his rapid spasms, Miko accidentally pulls the trigger. Out comes the foam dart, right
across the hallway!</i>

<b><i>Pop!</i></b>

<i>The camera quickly pans back over to the doorway, where we see The1 standing…
with a foam dart sticking to his head. With a snarl on his lips and his arms folded across
his chest, he just stands there. Staring. Just staring. Well… this is awkward. The camera is
still, The1 is still… and the dart peels off, falling to the floor.</i>
<b>Miko (from off-camera):</b> Man, I knew those darts weren’t very good! I never
should’ve listened to that clerk.

<i>The camera pans over again to the wall, where Miko is regaining his composure.
Miko shakes out the cobwebs from his head for a second, and walks over to his former
co-champion.</i>

<b>Miko (fingering cherry filling out of his ear):</b> ..Dude…. You just made me spill
all of my goods! All of my goods!! Why??

<b>The1:</b> …….

<b>Miko:</b> …..That….was….. AWESOME! [Picking up speed] Did you see the way
that dust exploded? It was just like, whoa!! All over the place! Super-cool pyrotechnical
type things! And then, the sausage? Did you hear it flop? And the beer! It just exploded
upon impact, Stone Cold style! And the bananas! Oh, the bananas! They’re ruined! All
the food, gone! Just like that! It’s hysterical, isn’t it? Oh, it’s hysterical! But it’s okay!
I’ve still got an entire trunk full of more groceries that I got! Oh, and I have Tylenol in
there too! And Maalox! I think those work for hemorrhoids. Do you hare hemorrhoids? I
know a guy who had those once. He had fingers like a sai—

<i>The1 quickly unfolds his arms and slams the wall next to him with a fist of rage.</i>

<b>The1:</b> --What the hell are you doing here!?

<i>Miko stops, with a shocked look on his face. His lips quiver for a moment, as if he
doesn’t know what to say – because, well, he doesn’t know what to say.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> ..I… I… well….

<b>The1 (almost snorting fire out of his nostrils):</b> ……………

<b>Miko:</b> …What do you mean?

<b>The1:</b> What do I mean?? What do you mean, “What do you mean?”?? WHY
THE HELL ARE YOU STANDING HERE WITH ALL THIS CRAP!? WHY ARE YOU
HERE TALKING TO ME, RIGHT NOW!?!?

<b>Miko:</b> …Oh… so that’s what this is about… I guess I should’ve called ahead.
You already have food here, don’t you?

<i>The1 does a double-take and “slaps the air” with his hand.</i>

<b>The1:</b> …Look. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you. You. Disgust.
Me. Now, just so I don’t end up getting ****ing arrested for doing something that you’re
REALLY tempting me to do right now, you better just get the hell out of here. And, come
this Sunday night, I am going to beat the holy HELL out of you. [Pointing down the
hallway] Now GET OUT!!!

<i>Miko still looks shocked, but it starts turning more into a look of pure confusion.
The1’s patience is being severely tested at this point, as his teeth are gritting, and his
breathing is rather heavy.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> ..I don’t understand. What’s wrong now?

<b>The1:</b> What’s wrong!?!? ONE MATCH, AND YOU LOSE THE TAG TEAM
TITLES FOR US, THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG!!! Do you know how long I’ve been in
this business? I haven’t been doing this for years, just for some dumbass piece of ****
like you could just go and **** things up for me!!

<b>Miko:</b> Man.. You must really be driving the censors nuts right now. I can hear all
the bleeping already!

<b>The1:</b> See what I mean? There’s something wrong with you in the head! And I
don’t give a damn what it is, but I’m going to BEAT the hell out of you until your head
screws into place!

<i>Miko starts realizing the severity of the situation and starts shifting his eyes from one
side to the other.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> Hey, man.. Come on now. Don’t worry, we can get the tag titles back! It’s
not a big deal! There’s nothing that can stop us.

<b>The1:</b> No no, you’re not listening to me. I don’t WANT to team up with you. I
don’t want to look at you. I don’t want to associate with you. I don’t want to have
ANYTHING to do with you! All I want to do with you is beat the life out of you, and
then move on! …AND THAT’S WHAT I’M GONNA DO!! NOW GET THE ****
OUT!!!

<i>Enraged, The1 turns around and storms back into his locker room, slamming the door
shut behind him. Miko stands still for a moment, and then slowly looks from side to
side.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> ….I…see.

<i>He stands there in the middle of the hallway, absolutely still. Maybe he’s thinking to
himself, but the idea of him even being capable of that sort of thing is still under heavy
debate.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> ……….

<i>…And so he starts licking around his mouth.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> Mmm, cherry!

<i>He keeps standing there, licking the filling off his face, and he just doesn’t stop. He
grabs it with his hands and licks his fingers. He just keeps cleaning it up. This is boring.
Suddenly, the proverbial light bulb in Miko’s head goes off, and he abruptly freezes in
place.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> …Wait a minute… I’ve got more food in the car! Woo-ee!!

<i>Turning around, Miko gets ready to run down the hallway. After taking only one step,
he steps on one of the dropped bananas on the floor, slips, and lands on his head.</i>

<b>Miko:</b> ….Ow.... Medic….?

<i>…Err… At this point, the camera fades out, and everyone pretends that this never
happened. Bring on the commercials.</i>

<b><i>END PROMO</i></b>