Small Talk: Conversation Starters Talking about the weather

Beautiful day, isn't it? Can you believe all of this rain we've been having? It looks like it's going to snow. It sure would be nice to be in Hawaii right about now. I hear they're calling for thunderstorms all weekend. We couldn't ask for a nicer day, could we? How about this weather? Did you order this sunshine? Did you catch the news today? Did you hear about that fire on Fourth St? What do you think about this transit strike? I read in the paper today that the Sears Mall is closing. I heard on the radio today that they are finally going to start building the new bridge. How about those Reds? Do you think they're going to win tonight? Looking forward to the weekend? Have you worked here long? I can't believe how busy/quiet we are today, can you? Has it been a long week? You look like you could use a cup of coffee. What do you think of the new computers? So, how do you know Justin? Have you tried the cabbage rolls that Sandy made? Are you enjoying yourself? It looks like you could use another drink. Pretty nice place, huh? I love your dress. Can I ask where you got it? How old's your baby? What's your puppy's name? The tulips are sure beautiful at this time of year, aren't they. How do you like the new park? Nice day to be outside, isn't it? I didn't think it would be so busy today. You look like you've got your hands full (with children or goods). The bus must be running late today. It looks like we are going to be here a while, huh? I'll have to remember not to come here on Mondays. How long have you been waiting?

Talking about current events

At the office

At a social event

Out for a walk

Waiting somewhere

Expressions for Agreeing and Disagreeing Stating an opinion

In my opinion... The way I see it... If you want my honest opinion.... According to Lisa... As far as I'm concerned... If you ask me... What's your idea? What are your thoughts on all of this? How do you feel about that? Do you have anything to say about this? What do you think? Do you agree? Wouldn't you say? I agree with you 100 percent. I couldn't agree with you more. That's so true. That's for sure. (slang) Tell me about it! You're absolutely right. Absolutely. That's exactly how I feel. Exactly. I'm afraid I agree with James. I have to side with Dad on this one. No doubt about it. (agree with negative statement) Me neither. (weak) I suppose so./I guess so. You have a point there. I was just going to say that. I don't think so. (strong) No way. I'm afraid I disagree. (strong) I totally disagree. I beg to differ. (strong) I'd say the exact opposite. Not necessarily. That's not always true. That's not always the case. No, I'm not so sure about that. Can I add something here? Is it okay if I jump in for a second? If I might add something... Can I throw my two cents in? Sorry to interrupt, but... (after accidentally interrupting someone) Sorry, go ahead. OR Sorry, you were saying... (after being interrupted) You didn't let me finish. Let's just move on, shall we? Let's drop it. I think we're going to have to agree to disagree.

Asking for an opinon

Expressing agreement

Expressing disagreement

Interruptions

Settling an argument

(sarcastic) Whatever you say./If you say so.

Informal Contraction

or What are you going to do? >> Whatcha going to do? >> Whatcha gonna do?

Do you want a beer? Do you wanna beer? D'you wanna beer? D'ya wanna beer? Ya wanna beer? Wanna beer?

These informal contractions are not "correct" English. Do not use them in a written exam, for example, except in appropriate situations.

ain't = am not/are not/is not I ain't sure. You ain't my boss. ain't = has not/have not I ain't done it. She ain't finished yet. gimme = give me Gimme your money. Don't gimme that rubbish. Can you gimme a hand? gonna = going to Nothing's gonna change my love for you. I'm not gonna tell you. What are you gonna do? gotta = (have) got a I've gotta gun. I gotta gun. She hasn't gotta penny. Have you gotta car? gotta = (have) got to I've gotta go now. I gotta go now. We haven't gotta do that. Have they gotta work? kinda = kind of She's kinda cute. lemme = let me Lemme go! wanna = want to I wanna go home. wanna = want a I wanna coffee.

whatcha = what are you Whatcha going to do? whatcha = what have you Whatcha got there?

Word Part of speech alternatives noun amplify verb arbitration noun bargain verb bottom-line noun collective adj compensate verb comply verb compromise verb concession noun conflict resolution noun confront verb consensus noun cooperation noun counter proposal noun counterattack verb/noun counterpart noun

Meaning

Example Sentence

other options

We can't offer you the raise you requested, but let's discuss some other alternatives. Could you amplify on your proposal please.

expand; give more information

conflict that is addressed by using a neutral third party try to change a person's mind by using various tactics the lowest one is willing to go

We're better to settle this between us, because a formal arbitration will cost both of us money. We bargained on the last issue for over an hour before we agreed to take a break. I'll accept a raise of one dollar per hour, but that's my bottom-line. This is a collective concern, and it isn't fair to discuss it without Marie present. If you are willing to work ten extra hours a week we will compensate you by paying you overtime. I'd be willing to comply if you can offer me my own private office. We are willing to compromise on this issue because it means so much to you. I think we can offer all of theseconcessions, but not all at once. It is impossible to engage in conflict resolution when one of the parties refuses to listen. I confronted my boss about being undervalued, and we're going to talk about things on Monday. It would be great if we could come to aconsensus by 5:00 P.M. I have appreciated your cooperationthroughout these negotiations. In their counter proposal they suggested that we keep their company name rather than creating a new one. Before we could start our counterattackthey suggested we sign a contract. I tried to close the discussions at noon, but my counterpart would not stop talking.

together

make up for a loss

agree

changing one's mind/terms slightly in order to find a resolution a thing that is granted or accepted

general term for negotiations

present an issue to someone directly

agreement by all

the working together

the offer/request which is presented second in response to the first proposal present other side of an issue

person on the other side of the negotiations

cordially verb/noun

politely

In the past I have had little respect for that client, but today she spoke cordially and listened to my point of view. They had some last minute demands that were entirely unrealistic. When the discussions came to a deadlockwe wrote up a letter of intent to continue the negotiations next week. I was hoping to avoid discussing last year'sdispute, but Monica is still holding a grudge. Max has such a loud voice, he tends todominate the conversations. My contract says that I am entitled to full benefits after six months of employment. We have always been flexible in terms of your working hours. We've been haggling over this issue for too long now. I want you to know that we don't have anyhostility towards your company despite last year's mixup. I'm planning to high-ball my expectations when I open the discussion. I acted on impulse when I signed that six-month contract. They were so indecisive we finally asked them to take a break and come back next week. We have a little bit of leverage because we are the only stationary company in town.

demands adv deadlock noun

needs/expectations that one side believes it deserves point where neither party will give in

dispute noun dominate verb entitled adj flexible adj haggling verb hostility noun

argument/conflict

have the most control/stronger presence be deserving of

open/willing to change

arguing back and forth (often about prices) long-term anger towards another

high-ball verb impulse noun indecisive adj leverage noun

make a request that is much higher than you expect to receive quick decision without thought or time

has difficulty choosing/making a decision (bargaining power) something that gives one party a greater chance at succeeding over another trading one favour for another

log-rolling verb low-ball verb mislead verb mutual adj objective noun point of view noun

After a bit of log-rolling we came to an agreement that pleased both of us. I was expecting my boss to low-ball in the initial offer, but he proposed a fair salary increase. They misled us into thinking that everything could be resolved today. The decision to call off the merger wasmutual.

offer something much lower than you think the opponent will ask for convince by altering or not telling the whole truth about something agreed by both or all

goal for the outcome

My prime objective is to have my family members added to my benefits plan. From my point of view it makes more sense to wait another six months.

person's ideas/ thoughts

pressure verb proposal noun receptive adj resentment noun resistance noun resolve verb tactics noun tension noun trade-off noun

work hard to convince another of an idea argument to present

He pressured me to accept the terms by using intimidation tactics. While I listened to their proposal I noted each of their objectives. His positive body language demonstrated that he was receptive to our suggestions. Mary's resentment stems from our not choosing her to head the project. We didn't expect so much resistance on the final issue. Before you can resolve your differences you'll both need to calm down. There are certain tactics that all skillful negotiators employ. There was a lot of tension in the room when George threatened to quit. Lower payments over a longer period of time sounded like a fair trade-off until we asked about interest charges. His ultimatum was that if I didn't agree to give him the raise he asked for, he'd quit today without two week's notice. It's unrealistic to think that we will have all of our demands met. We considered it a victory because they agreed to four of our five terms. The client will only yield to our conditions, if we agree to work over the holiday weekend.

open to/interested in an idea

anger held onto from a previous conflict a display of opposition

end conflict, come to an agreement

strategies used to get one's goals met

feeling of stress/anxiety caused by heavy conflict terms that are offered in return for something else

ultimatum noun

a final term that has serious consequences if not met

unrealistic adj victory noun yield verb

very unlikely to happen

a win

to give in to another's requests

Conversational structures by ESL on SEPTEMBER 7, 2011 Youre supposed to + (verb) The structure youre supposed to is used to make the suggestion that something you strongly believe ought to happen. Here are some examples:

You are supposed to keep that a secret. You are supposed to give me a call when you leave. You are supposed to take that medicine three times a day. You are supposed to wait here until I return. You are supposed to return that book on time.

You are not supposed to can be used to prohibit people from doing things. You are not supposed to open that box. You are not supposed to leave before I return. You are not supposed to use my computer when I am away from my desk. You seem + (adjective) The structure you seem can be used to talk about the impression people seem to be giving. Note that in this structure you seem is followed by an adjective. You seem bored. She seems tired. He seems upset. She seems unhappy with her performance. She seems easy to work with. He seems confused. He seems indecisive about his choice. Youd better + (verb) The structure you had better is used to give strong advice. You had better get some rest. You had better help me out. You had better finish your homework before Dad comes. You had better listen to your parents and teachers. You had better mend your ways.

Im dying to + (verb) This is a structure used to express your impatience at having to wait for something. Here are some examples: I am dying to meet my daughter. I am dying to find a good job. I am dying to find out my score on the test. I am dying to hear from my son. I am dying to ask her out. I am dying to introduce her to my parents. Its hard for me to + (verb) When you say that something is hard for you, you are expressing the difficulty in doing something. Here are some examples: It is hard for me to let him go. It is hard for me to trust you. It is hard for me to see things from your point of view. It is hard for me to do what you want me to do.

It is hard for me to find a good work-life balance. It is hard for me to justify my actions. It is hard for me to find out what she wants. It is hard for me to keep deadlines. It is hard for me to work under pressure. Its my / your / his / her turn to + (verb) This is an expression used to express a change in position or role. It is your turn to pay for the drinks. It is your turn to do the shopping. It is my turn to do the dishes. It is her turn to do the laundry.
Using rather than by ESL on MARCH 2, 2012 This expression is normally used in parallel structures. For example it is used in structures that involve two adjectives, adverbials, nouns, infinitives, -ing forms etc.

I would prefer coffee rather than tea. I would prefer to work in the morning rather than in the evening. We ought to invest in education rather than in infrastructure. It is always better to start early rather than leave everything to the last minute. When the main clause has a to-infinitive, rather than is usually followed by an infinitive without to. An ing form is also possible. I decided to wait rather than leave. OR I decided to wait rather than leaving. Would rather Would rather means would prefer to. It is followed by an infinitive without to. How about a long drive? I would rather get some rest. Would rather have and would rather like In the expression would rather like, rather means quite.

I would rather like something to drink. (= I would quite like something to drink.) Would rather have means would prefer.

I would rather have a cup of coffee. (= I would prefer to have a cup of coffee.) Tenses After would rather, we can use a past tense with a present or future meaning. I would rather you did your homework now. Can I come on Sunday? I would rather you came on Monday.

We can use Do you mind? to ask general questions about peoples feelings. Would you mind? is not used for this purpose.

Do you mind people smoking in public places? / Do you mind if people smoke in public places? (NOT Would you mind people smoking in public places?) We can use No or Not at all to give permission after Would you mind? / Do you mind? Do you mind if I smoke? No, please do. Would you mind if I looked at your paper? Not at all. Please do.

Talking about obligation and freedom to act

by ESL on JUNE 25, 2011 Modal verbs can express various aspects of obligation and freedom to act. To express strong obligation, we use a modal verb like must or need.

You must obey my instructions. Need I wait any longer? All sales staff will arrive for duty by 9 am. I really must stop smoking. I must write to my mother. You must be here before 8 oclock.

To express weak obligation or recommendation, we use modal verbs likeshould, ought to and had better.

You should work harder. We ought to respect our parents. You had better start saying thank-you for things. You should not do things like that. One ought to be punctual.

Have to can also be used to talk about obligation. In this case, the obligation usually comes from outside.

I have to work from ten to five. (Obligation coming from a regulation)

To suggest the absence of obligation, we use need not.

You neednt wait any longer.

To express prohibition, we use must not, may not or cannot.

You must not smoke in the kitchen. You cant go now. Books may not be taken out of the library. You must not open this parcel until Christmas Day.

Using Even
by ESL on JANUARY 11, 2012 Even is used to talk about surprising extremes. It usually goes in mid-position. She has done everything she has even been a soldier. He has been to everywhere he has even been to Antarctica. He speaks lots of languages he even speaks Chinese. The cake was not good even the dog refused to eat it.

He eats anything even raw fish. I work every day even on Sundays. Some computers are like human beings they can even talk. We use not even to talk about negative extremes. She doesnt even know his name. He cant even write his own name. She didnt even say hello. Even though, even if, even as These expressions are used before a word, phrase or clause for emphasis.

Even though I didnt understand a word, I kept smiling. Even if I win a jackpot, I will not quit my job. I will do it even if it kills me. Even so means however. She is beautiful. Even so, I dont really like her. Grammar notes The word even should be written in front of and next to the word it modifies. Even James could not solve the problem. (= James, let alone anyone else, could not solve the problem.)

It can be used as a preparatory subject or object for an ing form. It is nice talking to you. It is nice being with you. It is no use trying to convince him of this. It is no fun having so many children to look after. It is silly throwing away your chances like that. It wont be any good discussing this matter with him. I thought it useless arguing with a stupid like him. This structure is common with any / no good, any / no use andworth. It is no use talking to him. It is no use expecting them to be on time. It isnt worth complaining about his highhandedness. Possessives can be used before the ing forms in these structures. It is no good my talking to him about this. It is no use your trying to cheat us. Instead of possessive pronouns we can use object pronouns. It is no use his apologizing. OR It is no use him apologizing. The gerund can be changed into an infinitive. It wont be any good for me to talk to him about this. It is no use for you to try to cheat us.