Sie sind auf Seite 1von 5

FINALS COUNTDOWN

How to take a history has always been a mystery, >How to find a JVP, >How to take a pulse. >Asking patients about sex, >Supernature reflex, >Skin bumps, neck lumps, >Now give me a cough (cough) >MMR, BCG, meningitis, DTP, Bile stones, ucichromes, >Coeliac disease. >Fallot's tetralogy, >Different types of allergy, >Antenatal screening of congenital disease. >Spastic paraplegia, >Syringomyelia, >Measuring Glasgow coma, >Extradural haematoma, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's Penetrance of Huntingdon's >HIV, CJD, syphillitic Shanker It's stuff that you need for finals Stuff that you need for finals >Thrombocytopenia, >Treating schizophrenia, >Causes of bulimia, >OCD. >Self-harm, suicide, >Side effects of frusemide, >Personality disorder, >SLE.

>Multiple sclerosis, >Haemochromatosis, Paraphemosis, >Endrometriosis, >Salpingitis, >Laryngitis, >Pharyngitis, >Urethritis, >Uveitis, >Retinitis pigmentosa It's stuff that you need for finals, Stuff that you need for finals. >Fractured neck of femur, >Causes of oedema, >Aqueous humour, >Different kinds of tumour, >Pneumothorax, >DVT, >Hepatosplenomegaly, >Prostate, kidney, breast and spleen, >Every organ in between Ehler's-Danlos Marfan's Cushing-Conn's Addison's Carpal tunnel syndrome Alopecia, Dupetryn's Henoch-Schonlein purpura >Austin-Flint murmur, >VSD, DIC, >SIADH. >Typhoid, >Amyloid, >Osteo, Rheumatoid,

Patient's that are paranoid, Movements that are athetoid, >Sarcoid, carcinoid, >Cushingoid, Mongoloid, >Pseudopseudopseudopseudohypoparathyroid Stuff that you need for finals, It's all stuff that you need for finals. >X-ray, ECG, >Basic cardiology, >Neuro, endo, >ENT, oncology. >All of rheumatology, >Bits of embryology, >A-level chemistry, >Epidemiology. >Haem firm, >Paeds firm, >Psyche, surgery, >Rheumo, ortho, >So much stuff you need to know, >Learning drugs is so much stress, >You memorise the BNF, >Public health, public health, >What the fuck is public health? >Stuff that you need for finals, It's all stuff that you need for finals, It's all stuff that you need for finals.

FINALS FANTASY

ANAESTHETISTS HYMN

Everybody wonders what anaesthetists do while the patient is asleep. Everybody wonders what we do for three hours while that machine goes beep. Everybody reckons we drink coffee and we gossip and we're generally subversive. Everybody reckons we do crosswords and sudoku's and we chat up all the nurses. But do you really think that's all we do? Well let me tell you now it isn't true. Cause we sometimes check the screen, and every now and then we write stuff. And if we have to intervene, we inject a bit of white stuff. And we offer to alter the light, or the height of the bed. Or fiddle with the radio, change the CD, we even check the patient occasionally. And if they move, we turn op the vapor, and then we go back, to reading a paper. Cause when the patient's asleep, we just sit and listen to the beep, we just sit and listen to the Once upon a time I took pride in my job, but now I think it's time to depart. Cause I just sit here every day and listen to blips of the heart