Unit 7: SEMINAR CM206: INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATIONS PROFESSOR SLACK

I think that effective listening is important because if you dont listen effectively, the message will be lost. Effective listening shows the person that is being communicated with that they are relevant and have your attention. It creates bonds and relationships because you form a memory of what was shared. In the past, I would say that my past experiences with a person could affect my use of effective listening. For example, I have had negative experiences with my ex-husband, and when I communicated with him, I would easily project those past feelings and perceptions into our present communication. However, my own personal journey and this course, has helped my interpersonal communication skills with him. I have become more mindful in my communication. Also external factors, like my daughter calling me and requesting something, the minute I get on my cell phone. This is routine-behavior and although she knows I know her pattern, it still happens. This is an ongoing area that needs improvement. In the recent past, I would fall under the category of monopolizing, discussed in Chapter 6 (Wood, p. 157, 2010). Majority of the time, I would communicate this way in conversations with my ex-husband. I felt that he was so incapable of the truth, or better yet, caught him in so many lies, that my perception of his stories began to come out during my verbal communication with him. I stopped listening to the full story or moved to the next subject, because I felt it was a waste of time for him to continue his communication if it was not the truth. If you are mindful of the person or people you are listening to, it will help other guidelines fall into place. While being mindful, you are able to distinguish more of what the other person is explaining (verbally or nonverbally), or their perspectives, and their feelings. At that time you can use the communication or feedback that works for effectively communicating with that person, and what gains their attention. This was you can create an active listener. Wood discusses in Chapter 6 the use of visual aids (Wood, p.161, 2010). If the listener is not mindful of all aspects of who they are communicating with this, then they will not know which tools to utilize and what works best. Another way to promote actively is one that I use with my 3-year old daughter. When I am reading a book to her, I will ask her a question from the previous page to ensure she is listening. Asking questions is a method that is mentioned in Chapter 6 (Wood, p.161, 2010).