Oh, the Tooth that One-ths Was

A Story about Place Value

Author: Doug Saber Illustrator: ________________________

O H _____ _____
one thousands hundreds

One thousand years ago in the Kingdom of O You're So Cute, there were a large number of handsome lads - OH, about a hundred or so. They all strutted about telling how much they knew: the names of all the neighboring kingdoms, the number of pints in a gallon of goat's milk, and that parentheses come first in simplifying math expressions; how wonderful they were: always saying please and thank you, holding doors open for the girls, and eating spinach; but mostly, bragging about their pearly whites.

O H T O _____ _____ _____ _____

one thousands hundreds tens ones

Yes - nice teeth were the most valued possession in the land. For the king's daughter, Princess Patty, had waited her whole life (all ten years of it) to find a suitable boyfriend! She was so anxious to find someone to play Yahtzee with her, to swim in the moat with her, and go dragonback riding with her, but most importantly, someone to gaze at the evening stars with her. Of course, she hoped for the one with perfect teeth that would reflect the moon's light like a mirror.

O H T O _____ _____ _____ _____

one thousands hundreds tens ones

O _____
"oneths"

One day in the month of March, lots of young boys (mainly those who had their "adult" teeth) lined up at the king's place to find their value in the eyes of the princess. As they waited in line, many compared the condition of their teeth. Some were teased for crooked ones, others were criticized for not flossing, but the lad that took the most ribbing was a kid at the end of the line named Thaddeus Hoopascal Squadratic (his friends called him T.H.S. or "ths" - for obvious reasons). He had only one tooth! Right in the front! "One, ths, you must be kidding," exclaimed James. "Yeah, who has ever heard of one, ths?" blurted Stephen.

O H T O _____ _____ _____ _____

one thousands hundreds tens ones

O _____
"oneths"

T.H.S. was hurt badly. He thought and thought about leaving. Just as he was about to turn around and head for home, he was standing toe to toe with Princess Patty! Now most of the boys had greeted Patty with a huge smile, but T.H.S. could hardly keep from crying. The young princess asked with genuine concern about the cause of his tears and upset.

O H T O _____ _____ _____ _____

one thousands hundreds tens ones

O _____
"oneths"

"Well Princess Patty, I decided that with my funny name and one tooth, you would probably not consider me to be your boyfriend. I should probably just have stayed at home and worked on my decimals or something." Princess Patty spoke admiringly, "T.H.S" Thaddeus Hoopascal Squadratic interrupted, "Please, call me ths."

O H T O O T H _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

one thousands hundreds tens ones "oneths" tenths hundredths

"Ths, I listened to all that ridicule you endured. I can't believe you'd put up with that just to see me. What an awesome boy you are! You are better than any ten, ths. In fact, you are better than any hundred, ths." "Well thanks Patty, but I'm not sure the other boys will agree with you. They'll probably mock me, and say, 'You're the one, ths. You're the one, ths. You're the one, ths.'"

O H T O _____ _____ _____ _____

one thousands hundreds tens ones

T H _____ _____
tenths hundredths

"oneths" PERIOD

The king, who was very protective of his daughter and had been listening to all of this, boomed, "No one will utter those mocking words - you're the one, ths. I decree that from now to eternity, you are the one, PERIODIf those jealous boys need something to say, they can all chant, 'OH TOOTH! OH TOOTH!' in admiration of your single tooth and affection for my daughter."

O H T O _____ _____ _____ _____

one thousands hundreds tens ones

T H _____ _____
tenths hundredths

"oneths" PERIOD "and"

T.H.S. had so many things he wanted to say to the king and the princess. However, he was so overwhelmed by all that had happened that he could only manage to stutter, "and..and..and." And that is where this story ends. Except to say that you now know why there once was, but no longer is, a "one, ths" place, and why Thaddeus is the one, period, that says, "and."