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Message in Short

All the Prophets were first the social reformers of their times, whoever will endeavor to bring social reforms, he is on the Prophet's mission. (Deputy Nazeer Ahmed, Ibnul Waqt)

A presentation of Gawah weekly

Men too are sold. for Dowry


A STUDY ON: HOW THE DOWRY IS ILLEGITIMATE ACCORDING TO THE QURAN & HADITH VIEWS OF THE SCHOLARS OF ALL SCHOOLS OF THOUGHTS AND HOW TO ERADICATE THIS EVIL

The dowry system is the worst crime against Islam, Human Rights and Women's Rights. The responsibility to eradicate this evil rests upon the shoulders of: Scholars, Mashaikheen and Muftis who must shun attending such marriage dinners where the evils are involved. (Question and Answer Siasat 21st sept, 2011) The rich elite of NRIs as well as locals who constitute hardly 10% of the community but they are the trend setters. Men who surrender to their women and help to continue this evil. Mothers of the brides who pressurize the men to give the dowry and reception dinner even if the groom's side refuse to take it. Political and social leaders who do not hesitate to attend such parties. Those who have taken the dowry unknowingly. This is an Amanat and they must return it. Those who have taken by demand or other tricks. This is bribe, they must return it. Everyone who strengthens this evil by attending the dinners given by the parents of the bride. This is not legitimate in Islam. They must boycott the dowry ridden marriages as well as the dinners.
SAM # 9246 54 3027
m_basharath@yahoo.com

WRITTEN BY:

ALEEM KHAN FALAKI


WWW.SOCIOREFORMS.COM JEDDAH

Men too are sold. For Dowry

THIS BOOKLET IS DEDICATED TO THOSE PSEUDO INTELLECTUALS WHO HAVE TAKEN FOR GRANTED THAT:
Dowry, cash or any other clandestine deal is just a social evil, not illegitimate. To place the demand for dowry is wrong, but what is granted by the bridal side gleefully is acceptable. There is no dowry system in our family nor in our region. It is found only at so and so places. Hazrat Fatimah(RA) too was given the Dowry. Dowry is a gift and giving gift is a Sunnah. The dinner, arranged on marriage day by the bridal side, is HOSPITALITY and the hospitality is encouraged in the Sunnah. Mehr (dower amount)can be paid later at any convenient time. It is not necessary to pay immediately. Past is past. Those who have indulged in taking dowry deliberately or not deliberately in the past will be pardoned by Allah if they repent.

LIKEWISE, THIS BOOKLET IS DEDICATED TO THOSE COWARDS WHO TAKE IT FOR GRANTED THAT:
It is highly impossible to eradicate the Dowry system. It will not end if we only refrain from it, so why should we suffer loss? In case, we do not demand for Dowry, the bridal side will be suspicious. This is not our job to bring the change. This is the responsibility of Ulema, Muftis, Jamaats and leaders. They should stand united to fight against it. We did not ask for the dowry but the bridal side insisted to accept.

Men too are sold. For Dowry

Why the dowry is illegitimate - 8 fundamental reasons


1. It is a bribe (Rushwat) which has become a Must in this era.

2. It is extravagance (ISRAAF). It is not a substantial need but invented. 3. It inverses the Qurans order and insults the Prophet SAWSs sunnah. 4. It is a civilized beggary under the pretexts of culture. 5. It is an imitation of Hindu system. 6. It is a kind of male prostitution. 7. It is a social blackmail. 8. It is a source of not only one but many evils (Fitna).

The first cause: Bribe


It is termed as Joda Ghoda in Deccan, Hunda in North India, Istri Dhanam in Sri Lanka, Kerala and Tamil Nadu, Varu Dakhshina in Hindu scriptures, Salami or Meyari Shaadi (Standard marriage) in Karachi, Dahej or Daaj in Indian & Pakistani Punjab and Joutak in West Bengal as well as in Bangladesh. Nowhere people like to call it a Bribe because the bribe is illicit. To avoid the guilt feeling, people take it under a different label. The word RUSHWAT (bribe) is derived from the Arabic word Rishwa. It is applied by the scholars to such instances like dowry. The root word of Rishwa is RISHA which means a rope tied to the bucket to pull the water from the well. It also applies to the stone which is positioned to close the outlet of drainage. If the rope is longer, the bucket shall have a remote accessibility and fill more and more water, and in case, the rope is smaller, it would bring only the foam, soil and mud from the well. It is a common observation that less qualified and less charming girls get married earlier than more qualified and more charming girls. The reason is simple. If the father can afford large amount of dowry with a grand dinner party, he can pull any groom of his choice.

Men too are sold. For Dowry

The game of dowry starts from the negotiation between the mothers and sisters of both sides. The women from grooms side implicitly take the stock that how much can be snatched from bridal side. Since the brides side knows the fact that if they failed to satisfy these womens expectation, they may make the life of the bride difficult later, so to shut the mouth of these women, they explicitly mention how much they are going to spend on the marriage. After a long bargaining the deal is finalized and the date is fixed. If everything is given accordingly, the groom and his whole family conduct the wedding with full ecstasy and hilarity. If the dowry list falls short of anything, the sad shadows may be visible on their reluctant faces. It is also observed that sometimes the grooms side neither demand nor show any implicit urge for the dowry, but the mother of the bride makes it a matter of ego and prestige and compels the groom to take the dowry. She knows that the dowry brings respect and status to the daughter otherwise the groom, his mother and other women of the family may scorn at her all the life. Thus, the dowry is not a gift but a compulsory factor to silent the groom and in-laws. The mothers of the grooms too do no show willingness openly but the greed of collecting everything by default keeps them silent. If it is not a bribe, can anyone remove the fear from the brides parents or can anyone shut the mouth of those women who raise fingers on the less dowry? You can reach the core of this bitter fact through any marriage broker. He will tell the market rate of the grooms. The rates vary from few lakhs to crores depending upon the qualification and social status of the groom. Maulana Mujahid Islam Qasmi has quoted the verdict of Amarat Shariah, Bihar that The Prophet SAWS has cursed the briber and the bribed. This too is a bribe if the father of the bride demands more than the MEHR (dower). If the groom is compelled to meet his demand out of fear that if he will not pay, the proposal may be denied. If taking from the groom other than MEHR is a bribe, taking reversely from the bride is doubly Haraam. The Fatwa continues The groom has right to demand his money paid back as this was a bribe collected by the brides guardian illegitimately. In the same way, if the man has taken dowry, this is a bribe, and the women has right to demand its return. Supposedly if the dowry is not a bribe, nor illegitimate, and we take for granted that the father of the bride is giving happily, then, can any youth show the courage to marry a girl whose parents refuse to give anything at all?

Men too are sold. For Dowry Is Dowry a gift donation or bribe defacto

Some people try to label the dowry trade as gift. If the dowry were a gift, there would never be any negotiation or bargaining. So, why the brides side is so much compelled to give large amount of money, furniture, flat, car etc? Therefore, it is not a gift but a bribe. As the Quran mentions about numerous tactics and vulpine tricks of Jews in the incidents of cow-slaughter and Saturday fish ensnaring, likewise, the Muslims too are not far behind in the art of validating the invalid along with putative justifications to such an extent that the scholars too have to stitch their lips with astonishment. It is a common fashion that the majority of the people justify the dowry-bribe under the pretext of gift. Gift is such a money, presented only to appease Allah, to express cordial affection and to win love. The Scholars have very vividly spelled out three conditions for the validity of a gift:

1. It is given without any condition, without any expectation of return of any sort, without a feeling of doing a favour or winning a favour in return. 2. If there is no demand, directly or indirectly, compulsion or force.
3. It is given only to appease Allah. Bearing in mind the first Hadith of Bukhari The acts depend upon their intentions, it is the conscience only that can judge whether the dowry, taken or given, was a gift or bribe? The groom may have accepted as a gift but it the father of the bride who can admit honestly whether he gave by consent, pressure, fear or due to the prestige issue? Another Hadith is used as an excuse in the dowry trade that:Exchange the gifts. It removes the envy or rancor from the hearts. This half portion of the Hadith is always used to justify taking the dowry but people often forget, in fact, criminally neglect the other half portion of the Hadith that No lady should see with contempt the gift of the neighbor lady even if she gifts the toe portion of a goat. Although the parents of the bride give the dowry under the pretext of gift but with a fear that if they failed to give this as gift, the grooms side will knock another door from where they can obtain much larger gift. There is a possibility that a few rich parents may give the dowry

Men too are sold. For Dowry

happily but, are they not conversant with this bitter fact that man is greedy by instinct. He sends the proposal first to only those girls whose parents can afford a grand dowry. In Muslim community almost 90% people cannot afford to meet the demands of the dowry. Consequently they have to either sell out their assets or borrow money on interest or beg donations, charity, alm, Zakat etc. Most of the people who do not have any of the above sources of money available, opt for corrupt ways of income. The rich do not have realise that what tyranny they are inflicting on the society by violating the Sunnah of marriage. They obstinately defy their stand and say Allah has given wealth therefore we are spending. Those who cannot afford they should stretch their legs according to their blanket. Thus they engage the whole society in pursuit of money in order to buy the son-in-law at higher prices. A million Dollar question to those who justify taking the dowry in the name of the gift: what was the Prophets SAWS attitude towards the giftexchange? Whenever He SAWS accepted a gift, he too gifted back with better one. Have the Dowry recipients repaid the brides family in a better form? One more significant query is is there a condition to give the gift on a fixed occasion? The gift can be given at any time in the span of life, why it is conditional to give only on the occasion of marriage? Why every gift has to reach to the grooms house even before the marriage? Until and unless all the Dowry items are captured, the bride is not allowed to step-in. Therefore, how can then it be termed a gift? This kind of dubious trick had been predicted already by the Prophet SAWS in a Hadith that a group of my followers shall change the name of liquor to validate it. In another Hadith the Prophet SAWS said A time shall arrive when the people shall validate the usury under the name of trade. Hazrat Omer once told that the people shall validate the ill-gotten in the name of gift. The Dowry which is ostensibly is the gift, is de facto a bribe. In the same way, the dinner expenses forced on the brides father are named as hospitality. Of course, to host the guest is a virtue, it is encouraged in Islam but a hospitality which is forced on the host in the name of the social system cannot be hospitality but a social blackmail. Some scholars say there is an impediment to declare the dowry illegitimate Some scholars object that because the Quran is void of the word Dowry, so it cannot be declared illegitimate. It is a misleading

Men too are sold. For Dowry

statement. There are a number of issues not mentioned in the Quran but the Hadith too has been accepted as NAS (order). There are many issues which are not mentioned in the Quran like the beard, number and method of prayers, the punishment to the wine-addict, bribery, smoking etc but on the basis of Hadith these have been declared as illegitimate by the Fiqh. The Prophet SAWSs saying Pray as you see me praying is not limited to only 5-time prayers, it applies to every act of life. Thus the dowry on the basis of 8 fundamental reasons is illegitimate totally. Some scholars do agree that if there is a demand or force, the dowry is illegitimate but they open the back doors for this evil by the excuses of If, But, Should etc. They say: IF the brides father is giving happily, this is valid SHOULD there be no force or demand, the dinner can be served Dowry is a gift BUT it should not be demanded These statements themselves prove the illegitimacy of the dowry. They allow the dowry on the condition that if it is not demanded or forced. If we take a survey, we will find that only one out of a thousand is capable of offering dowry happily. Remaining others have to suffer financially although they pretend to be happy by giving the dowry. They are compelled due to the system. The act of one person out of a thousand becomes an ideal when he organizes a pompous marriage ceremony by inviting celebrities, scholars, Mashaekheen, leaders and all relatives, it becomes a model in the society. So, as it is human nature that every youth desires to find a father-in law who is the one in a thousand. Consequently, unless every father gives an attractive offer, no one sends a proposal for his daughter. Thus the dowry given by consent becomes a biggest evil (Fitna) in the society. If any father of a bride says since you have not demanded anything I will not give any bed, furniture or dinner, is it possible that any youth will ever marry his daughter? Therefore, the scholars stand of keeping the doors open for the dowry is totally invalid.

The Second Cause: it is prodigality or extravagance


Israaf (extravagance),in Arabic language, means crossing the boundaries. Boundary is limited to the extent of need. It is permitted to

Men too are sold. For Dowry

spend to the limit of the need. Once the genuine is fulfilled, even a single pennys supererogatory extra expenditure is prodigality for the sake of rituals, luxury or pomp. Prodigality is tri-faceted.

1. To squander the money in futile work i.e. unnecessary, avoidable or illegitimate act. 2. To cross the limits while spending in permissible acts. 3. To spend in a good cause but with the motivation of boasting and exhibition.
Those who spend not on real need but on innovated artificial needs are mentioned in Quran as brother of Devil as Quran clearly says: Never go for extravagance. The extravagant are brothers of Satan and the Satan was ungrateful to his Lord (17;26&27). Often the mothers of the bride and bride-groom play the role of Satans sisters as they are the main culprits who instigate the men for squandering their hard earned money. The full support is meted by the sisters and aunts of both sides. We witnessed in a marriage that there was already an elegant bed in the house of the groom but the brides mother insisted to replace with a new one as she said that it is a bad omen to give an old bed to the new couple. Then she compelled the brides father to purchase a new, more costly bed. There are thousands of examples like this which we witness in every marriage how the women create or invent the needs and how the men surrender to their dictate. The pre-wedding ceremonies like Sanchak, Haldi, Engagement or the post wedding ceremonies like Jumagietc are not bad if they are celebrated only at home without any financial burden on anyone, just for the sake of gathering and enjoying the beatitude of the occasion but it is clearly futile to lease a function hall and gather several guests. These are the signs of devils brothers. Ironically, these brothers perform every act of virtue like the prayers, fasting, reciting Quran, Qaseeda, Wazeefa and Salaam etc too. Some of them even preach Quran, Hadith and write volumes on Islam but on the occasion of marriages they surrender to the sisters of the Satan who easily convince them for extravagance. All these

Men too are sold. For Dowry

rituals in the marriages are invented by the women, and their bonded servant-like husbands who fulfill their desires meekly. These slave men do not have guts to stop the women from extravagance. Although these men love Allah and His Prophet SAWS so much that they can violently fight outside and inside the mosques for minor differences of jurisprudence (Fiqh), even to the extent of segregating the congregation and separating the mosques too. But, at home, they perpetrate the illicit on the insistence of their half betters. Womens desire is dearer to them than Allahs and His Prophets SAWS. This is the reason they deliberately over rule the teachings of Quran and Hadith. It is a joke that they spend lavishly and, at the end of the ceremony, they credit to Allah by saying it was possible only due to the blessing of Allah. It is not thankfulness but an insult or scorn on Allah. Maulana Abdul Majid Daryabadi says in the explanation of the said verse that the Quran depicts them as instead of elevating Allahs teaching through the wealth bestowed upon them, they commit extravagance and call it a blessing of Allah. As far as justification of unjust is concerned, the Muslims are not far behind the Jews. Both justify every prodigality as valid by many excuses. The tragedy is that the leaders, scholars and Mashaikh pat them too by attending and admiring, and even appearing in the photos and videos with the bride-grooms. Most of the excuses are as such:

We are bound to comply with the society Marriage takes place only once in a lifetime. If Allah has given wealth, why not spend on the children? What others would say if we adopt simplicity? Allah forgives every sin if Nafil Umra or Haj is performed.

Ask to your own self what is prodigality and what is not. Your conscience is the best jurist. Ask your conscience if all these ceremonial rituals are pleasing to Allah and are these according to the purpose of the Shariya? Has the Prophet SAWS ever liked these? Ask yourself if someone else does it, what would be your opinion? Once the Prophet

Men too are sold. For Dowry

SAWS put his hand on his chest and said: Piety (taqwa) is here. The piety is resides in ones own heart. The conscience does indicate right or wrong instantly. But these cunning fellows who do get the signal from their conscience but to silence it they look for Fatwas in their favor. These brothers of Satan seek excuses to justify their own judgments. And unfortunately, they find some religious admonishers too who encourage them to validate the invalid. Thus they are assured that they will be unchecked on the Dooms day just like the Jews had a firm belief that they shall remain untouched by hell-fire permanently. The Muslims too have adopted the belief that Allah will send them to fire for a few days and later will send them to heavens. Eventually the extravagant as well as pious will be equally blessed with heavens. They underestimate the gravity of Allahs anger on the dooms day when the Prophet SAWS will call upon Ummati, Ummati (O my followers, O my followers). When these extravagant people will be presented and the Quran will sue them as the Prophet SAWS had warned already that The Quran will either sue you or fight in favor of you. If these people believe that the Prophet SAWS will hold their hands and pull them out safely from the sin of over ruling Quran. This means that all these Hadiths and teachings are apocryphal. They presume they will be sent to the hell just for a short time then they will reside in heavens and will be free to do what they were doing in this world. This is how what they interpret the Hadith that the Prophet SAWS will call upon Ummati, Ummati Is it not a mockery of Quran and Hadith? May Allah excuse us.

The third cause: Inversion of Quranic Decree


The Quran says: The Men are guardians over the women because they spend from their own money (on women) (34/Nisa). In accordance to this verse, the hard sex has been given priority and supremacy to the soft one due to a couple of incentives: the man is stronger physically and more capable of protecting her by all means. Secondly, he spends on the woman because she bids adieu to her home milieu. So long as he is capable of earning, he spends on her all the life. She is so submissive that she resides wherever he houses her. She obeys him and treats him next to God. She comes as a guest in the husbands

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life leaving behind her parents, home and all relatives to live with him forever. As she is a guest, is it ethical to ask the guest to bring her own bed, furniture, electronics, money, vehicle, property, visa, ticket and other needful along with the Reception dinner party? Is it not shameful that the man who is supposed to provide the bed to sleep and produce his children, expects from the women to bring the bed? Allah has defined very clearly in this verse that the purpose of his creation as a male (MARD) is to be a provider not a receiver. Instead, if the women becomes the provider, how come he be given the right to wield the powers on her? How can he be given the right to divorce her? Instead, logically she should be entitled to have the right to divorce him or she can dictate him to live the ways she wants. The parents of the grooms should not have any objection if she takes her husband away to live separately from them as she has spent the money instead of he spend on her. It is improper to give birth to the new generation on the illicit way of acquiring wealth. Some clever men present the excuse that since the obligation of spending money on the women starts after the marriage so it is okay to collect whatever is given before the marriage. Therefore, they send the proposal first to those girls whose parents can afford or pretend to afford easily. The extreme of shamelessness is seen in the men to the extent that even after months and years of the marriage they continue demanding if anything was left short in the dowry at the time of marriage. The plight of the women due to dowry can be seen with open eyes. The women have been marginalized completely in the society. Therefore, not only the women but whole social structure has been demoralized. Many a fathers of the grooms show pity on this situation but, when the crucial time of their sons marriage comes, they surrender to the wives and seal their lips. The whole society has become totally female dominated as the men themselves have forfeited their right to rule over the women by accepting dowry from them. The exegesis of Quran Maulana Mohd. Shafi expresses his views about the above said verse:the wife is supposed to recognize the supremacy of husband only when the latter pays the Dower (Mehr) and other expenses at the time of marriage. So a good majority of male gender is

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void of MASCULINITY (Mardanagi) as they neither paid the Dower amount in cash nor provided all the needful to start a new life. It is very tragic that the majority of the men take dower amount from their brides in lieu of paying the same to them. The common practice prevailing today is Jahez naqd Mehr Udhaar means dowry has to be net, the dower (Mehr) on credit). This becomes the tradition, therefore, the children of such men too repeat the same sin without having any hesitation.

Dower (Mehr) is the fundamental right of the women


Dower is by no means a price of the woman, but it is just a symbol or token of her consent. The Atheist society had reduced the women to an untouchable and a sub human. She was deprived of her all fundamental rights like Right to family, Right to live, Right to have family, Right to approve the selection of her spouse, Right to have children etc. It was Islam who granted the women a very paramount place that as long as she does not spell-out her volition and satisfaction, no marriage can be solemnized. If she is married under duress and coercion, she may refer to the Qazi (judge) who is authorized to terminate such forced marriage contract. Islam liberated the woman from another inhuman shackle of slavery. Islam puts a condition on the divorce that if he wants to divorce her, he must present the reason but if the woman craves for separation and does not want to declare the reason, the Qazi cannot compel her to tell the reason. But it is highly deplorable that the so called Muslims have deprived her of her rights and subjected her to the old tyrannical pre-Islamic atheistic laws. Now the marriage negotiation is initiated with Dowry, not with Dower. No importance is attached with the prior consent of the woman, but the autocracy of the man is preferred. In the past when the Muslim had a civilized culture, the man had to send the proposal to the woman but now the woman has been demeaned to such a level that the mans parents demand the girls photo & bio-data to be sent to him just like a bidding of a tender document of a project. The poor parents are

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compelled to submit their bids and wait for the call for the negotiations on the dowry. If they have influence through a middle-man, they win the tender with lucrative offer and all other bids remain un-opened. The culture of the Prophet SAWS and his companions has been reversed. Now it is not the man who begs humbly the hand of the woman but the womans parents have to beg for the hand of the man. By God, this is not Islamic culture but Hindu culture where the lower caste girls parents have to beg the hand of a higher caste boy. Since every lower caste parents wish their daughters to go in to the higher caste family, so they have to adopt every tactic to attract and make them agree. The Muslims too have brought the poor parents of the girl to such a low moral level that they have to hunt for the boys by offering huge dowry, dinner etc. Now, you have to decide under what condition a man can have the privilege to have dominance over the woman? The Arabic word Rijjal (Mard) which defines the mans masculinity implies for that man who is authoritative, protector of woman and her savior. Thus Rijjaal refers not to a potent only but also to who spends on her. Allama Iqbal too has defined the man in a verse Haafiz-e-naamoos-e-zan mard aazma mard aafreein means the protector of feminine modesty, brave fighter and male Engineer. But the dowry system has changed the whole panorama of an ideal man. Todays Muslim man is not a protector of the woman, but he is under the Protectorate of the woman who provides the finance to him to become a husband, father and son-in-law.

Dower (Mehr) in cash or in Credit?


Wherever the word Mehr is mentioned in Holy Quran, it refers to net payment in cash or in whatever agreed form. Although the Scholars permit to delay but on the condition that the woman must be explicitly told about the payment terms, period of payment and she must give her consent to this deal. No instance has been traced that the Prophet SAWS or any of his companions ever deferred the dower payment. If the consent of the woman is not obtained and the condition of payment is not

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fulfilled, there is a clear Hadith about such relationship that the one who did not have intention to pay and died without paying the dower, he will be resurrected among fornicators/rapists on the day of Qayamat. As the men inverted the Holy Qurans teachings. There are numerous examples that the woman was compelled to waive her dower gleefully or forcibly but there is no example that a man ever waived the Dowry. There may be a few examples but they are one in a million. It is ordered in the Quran that the dower amount must be presented to her whole heartedly just like a largess (Nisa,4).But unfortunately most of the grooms parents argue and bargain about the dower amount just like a cattles price which is agreed after a long bargaining, and ultimately the brides side have to surrender. Instead of giving it whole heartedly it is given whole heatedly. The dowry is taken net and the Mehr is kept on credit. Thus, this is another example of how the dowry system inverses the Quranic teachings. Another shameful example is that Allah exhorts that since the woman is providing you enjoyment and satisfaction too, you must pay her dower as a moral obligation with thankfulness (Nisa,24). But alas, the man takes it for granted that he, not she, who is providing enjoyment and satisfaction to her, so he is collecting the price in the form of dowry instead of paying dower. Another worst example of how the dowry system violates the Qurans strict rule is that the Quran exhorts the if a man cannot afford to pay the dower net, he may seek permission from the master of any concubine and marry her by paying whatever he can afford (Nisa,25). It is completely unethical for those who do not possess much cash, bed, furniture and other home needs, to send the proposal to those families who are higher in the economic status. This is against the rules of Kafoo or Kafaat too. The real Islamic marriage is that in which the man declares his possessions. If the girls side agrees to accept, he can marry or he may look for another girl who can comply with his standard. But without having the capacity, if he demands the woman to bring everything and fill his home, it is not Islamic.

The Fourth Cause: Beggary


The dowry is collected very audaciously in the name of gift or donation. It is de facto a modern beggary. Abul Hasanat Hazrat Syed Abdullah Shah RAH says that the asking (begging) is invalid when it is

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unwarranted. In case, any person is constrained to beg, he must fulfill three conditions:

(1) He should not humiliate himself. (2) He should not wail or lament. (3) He should not trouble the donor.
(Noorul Masabeeh vol 5,page 58-65 chapter Baabus Sawaal). In Shubae-Lamahat P:12, it is added that if the above conditions are not fulfilled, the begging is illegitimate. A strong Hadith endorses this rule that :The upper hand (donor) is better than the lower hand (recipient).(Abu Dawood & Nisai). There is not much difference in begging and taking dowry. In Arabic, the word Sawaal implies asking for some monetary or other kind of help at the time of need. Asking for a pen or pencil too for signing a paper comes under the category of Sawaal means asking. The Prophet SAWS has instructed that if you are lying under a tree and somebody is standing and his hands can reach to the branches, do not ask him to pick one tender stick (Miswaak) for you. Stand up and pick yourself. Therefore, asking anything is called Sawaal and the Sawaal is not legitimate as it is begging. The difference between the begging and dowry system is that the beggar asks explicitly and the dowry takers ask implicitly in the name of the system. Unless they make sure that what they are going to get, they do not accept the proposal. If they want more, they convey the message in hints and the brides side discovers easily what they are asking for. Thus this is worse than the begging as the beggar, at least, has some moral and Sharayi reasons to beg but these dowry takers without having any Sharayi or moral reason ask indirectly for a larger booty. As the beggars throng to those houses which are wealthy and generous, the dowry takers also give priority to those houses from where they can snatch a large dowry without demand. They seldom go to any poor girls house if they have the choice between a rich house and poor house. The poor has to look for a mans proposal just like a beggar who looks for charity.

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All the features of beggars are found profusely in the dowry takers. For example, as mentioned in the above Hadith that the begging is allowed only when One should not humiliate himself. Let us see how the dowry takers beg to humiliate themselves. Seldom they ask directly, most of the time they ask indirectly. The Prophet SAWS said: He is not a Momin who degrades himself. Asking is the way of degrading oneself. If a healthy, well to do youth asks for money, everyone scorns at him that why can not he work hard and earn by himself. But in the dowry system, the groom who is a well-to-do man, has capacity and power to earn by himself, asks everything from brides father in the name of the system. This lack of conscience is due to the fact that if the bathroom is replete with all nudes why should he alone feel shame? He should not wail or lament. This is the second feature which permits for begging. As the beggars lament over many fictitious stories, the dowry takers too wail urbanely by lamenting over exorbitant expenditures over their sons education, daughters marriages etc. Like a good-will money of a shop, they collect the dowry and cash from the bride under the pretext that the bride is going to be the possessor of all earnings of the husband in future after the marriage. He should not trouble the target person. This is the third feature of a beggar. The Grooms people know that the brides people will have to suffer financial upheaval by taking loan on interest, selling out assets or beg donations from the relatives; still they do not hesitate to press the demand in the name of the system. Nowadays, everyone witnesses the tragic scenes of dowry deaths, harassments, foeticide, infanticide etc. These are the examples of how people put others in to trouble due to the demand of dowry. Those who claim to have given voluntarily are uttering a white lie. They are quite ignorant of the negative bearing over others. This act ignites the fire of greed in every grooms heart to receive similar Dowry. If they fail to get, out of despair and frustration, they become victims of inferiority

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complex and start scorning and even torturing their brides. Thus the real culprits are those who give the dowry by volition. The erudite Syed Abdullah Shah RAH has written a very significant event from the Prophets SAWS biography which requires the attention of Dowry recipients. This proves that the begging money or asking or even expecting dowry, all fall in the same category. Qubaisah B. Mukhariq RA was an important companion. He asked the Prophet SAWS a paltry share from the Zakat of Baitul maal. He did not ask for himself. He asked for paying the blood money on behalf of somebody for whom he was a guarantor. Though he was justified in his noble cause, but the Prophet SAWS replied: O Qubaisah! Asking is legitimate only for three persons: A man who is guarantor of somebodys loan and has no source of money to pay. Who is hit by some natural calamities, he is allowed only to the extent of covering his loss. Who is prone to starvation and three credible persons stand witness to his poverty and helplessness. If anyone other than these categories asks for charity or Zakat, takes the Zakat, it is not legitimate for him. (Abu Dawood and Nisai narrated in Noorul Masabeeh vol 5 Baab asswal). Please note that Abu Qubaisah was not economically backward. Neither was he asking for himself. Even then he was prohibited to ask, how the dowry recipients justify themselves to ask for the dowry for themselves? Are they poor? Are they guarantor for somebodys loan or have they starvation for three days? They should Ponder over the fact that most of the marriages are arranged out of donations and alms. The source of income of the donors is mostly dubious. How can a man who is taking dowry and net cash accept that his bride, who will one day be the mother of his progeny steps in his house with the help of donations and alms? In fact, the people become dumb and deaf in the greed of dowry. They do not even think that there are many donors whose income is not legitimate. The grooms own honest income too gets maligned due to accepting such

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dowry. There is a Hadith about the illegitimate income that his prayers are not lifted even one foot above the ground. This is the one of the reasons that although the number of Mosques, Madarsas, Pilgrims to Makkah, Medina and several shrines is increasing day by day but nones prayer is bringing any fruit. The Muslims are getting demoralized even more on every front. To prove that the asking for something is same like begging which is Haraam, there is a good example from Abu Zar Ghaffari RAs conversation with the Prophet SAWS. He was one of the most pious and favorite companions of the Prophet SAWS. The Prophet SAWS took pledge from him not to ask anything from anyone, even if a whip falls down from his horse while riding he should not ask anyone standing nearly to pick it up. (Imam Ahmad in Musnad, Noorul Masabeeh). The way he honored his promise to the Prophet SAWS is a great lesson to every dowry taker. When he was sick on the last stage of life and his financial condition was worst, the Caliph RA offered pension to is daughters. He refused to accept it and said My beloved friend Mohammed SAWS had told me that whoever will recite the chapter Al Waaqeaa before going to sleep, Allah will save him from poverty and starvation. My daughters recite this chapter daily so they do not need anything. This is also a great lesson to those who collect funds for the marriage of the poor girls. Nowhere in the history, there is any example from the Prophet SAWS or his companions RA that fund was ever collected for collective marriages of the poor girls and dowry was given to them. The Hadith about asking something warns that one who asks for something without having right or need, he will appear on Dooms day with a face stripped off the flesh. He will be identified from far distance. But the dowry takers claim their entitlement to take dowry under the logic that every Muslim is doing the same, even the rich people collect the dowry although they have capacity to buy by themselves. If they are Mard, are we not Mard, why should we give up our right? Logically, on the wedding day the parents of the girl deserve more to receive the gifts as a return to their life long hardship to bring up the daughter to the stage of becoming somebodys life partner.

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It is nothing but greed to let the bride bring dowry even though the groom side already possess wealth. The Prophet SAWS has warned that whoever is asking to increase his possessions, he is asking for the hell fire. Whether he is asking for large or small. Those who say ostensibly we do not want any dowry, give whatever you want to give to your daughter only, they are asking for the hell fire as they know very well that the brides side is bound to give something or other more than their expectations. While they are capable of buying all the dowry items as well as hosting the dinners, why do they let the bride side to bear all the expenses? Had they any true devotion for the Prophet SAWS, they would not violate his instructions. Some people make the excuse that there is nothing wrong in helping someone to stand on his own feet, therefore they give the cash as well as dowry to enable him to start some business. To help someone to stand on his feet is a great virtuous act but the question is that why is this associated with the condition that they will help only that guy who will marry their daughter? Are there not many other youths in their own relatives whom they can help? Or can not they offer at least a partial amount of whatever they are spending on the groom? Why these grooms want to stand on their own feet through the father-in-laws wealth only, why can not they borrow money or sell out their own house and start some business? These are all fake excuses to legitimize the evil of the dowry.

The fifth cause: Blind Imitation of Hindu religion


The Prophet SAWS told: One who emulates any cult, he will be counted as one of them. Since the patriarchy is strong in Hindu religion the women is not entitled to have the Right to Property, Right to inheritance and Right to divorce. The concept of marriage taught to a girl from her childhood is that The woman should come out in the coffin only from the house where she enters in bride-carriage(jis ghar se doli jaae wahan se arthhi utthe). She has to serve the husband and all in-laws all the life even if the husband is lot older than her or a drunkard or tyrant. The widow or divorcee is treated as ill omen. She is not permitted to come back home and become burden on the brothers, so the old Hindu scriptures teach even to burn herself along with the husbands

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cremation. It means, the wedding is a non-returnable one-way ticket of her life therefore it is called Kanyaadan, means the girl is given as a alms. Therefore, any kind father naturally would like to give wealth as much as possible to her before she departs. The details of the dowry given and taken by all the Hindu Gods and Goddesses are mentioned at length in Ramayana, Mahabharata, Shrimad Bhagwat Pran etc. The dowry of Lord Rama, Abhimanyu, Lord Krishna, Parvati, Dropadi, Pandavs and Lord Inders daughter Deviyani etc consisted of hundreds of Dalit slaves, gold, silver, lands, war- trained horses, elephants etc. Since the Hinduism insists on giving the dowry as Varu Dakhshina,(Gift to the groom) which is manifested in their Gods weddings, it is quite natural that the devotees of these Lords will follow this tradition as a sacred worship. Another drawback which makes the dowry compulsory is that there are innumerable castes in the Hindu Religion. Every lower caste father wishes his daughter to be wedded in the higher castes that brings reverence to his caste. Therefore, to capture the boy of a higher caste, he has to lure him with a lot of dowry. It is a pity that the Muslims print their wedding invitation cards with the Prohet SAWSs saying on the title Annikahu min sunnati and also faman raghiba un sunnati falaisa minni (The wedding is my dictum. And, he is not from me who does not follow my way. Inviting the guests in the name of Sunnah but displaying the traditions of Hindu Lords by taking dowry, eating dinners in the account of brides father, and indulging in extravagance is not only an imitation of other religions but also an insult to the holy Prophets SAWS teachings. Nowadays, another Christian ritual has been added in these ceremonies. The big size cakes are cut by the couple together on the occasion. Ladies and gents are served meals on common tables. To add another feather in the cap, beautiful young lady waiters are hired to serve the mens tables. No instance may be traced out that such clamorous functions were conducted in the time of the Prophet SAWS and his puritan companions. The show of ecstasy was not banned, but it was restricted to singing beating the drum, but there is no evidence for gifts exchange and hospitality provided by the parents of the bride.

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This predicament belongs to the common Muslim populace but what is the attitude of Mashayikh and Saadat families who are considered to be the original keepers of faith and Sunnah, whose genealogical tree is attached to the Prophet SAWS? They were the custodians of the precept of Ali RA& Fatima RAs marriage. It is very heart squeezing that they follow the track of the Hindu Lords in their own marriages. Every kind of extravagance which is seen in common folks marriages is now being displayed in the Saadat families too.

Jahez-e-Fatimi (Dowry of Fatima RA) a shifty trick


It is unanimous dictate of all Sunni & Shia Scholars that whatever was given to Fatima RA was purchased out of the Dower Amount paid by Ali RA. If we interpret it as Dowry, its validity or legitimacy can be approved from the legal point of view only on the condition that if the son-in-law is an orphan and living under the patronage or guardianship of father-in-law as was in the case with Ali RA. What would be the justification of collecting dowry in the name of Fatimi Dowry? On the occasion of the ceremony of the marriage no delicious dishes were served except the dates or simple meals. Why the Prophet SAWS did not invite for the dinner on the occasion of his daughters wedding is a critical question to every Muslims. Those who squander lakhs of Rupees on dowry and dinners parties make mockery of the Prophet SAWS as well as Fatima RA and Ali RA. They pronounce not by tongue but by their practical act that the Prophet SAWS was penniless, Ali RA had no friends, had no culture and no youthful desires. None had capacity to feast the guests. That is why neither the Prophet SAWS gathered the companions, leaders from the Medina or even the nearest relatives, neither Ali RA gathered his friends. Those who are knowingly spending lavishly are showing by their acts that the Prophet SAWS had no culture but we have a culture, we are more civilized and our societys standard is much higher. The Prophet SAWS did not have to worry about maintaining the society but we have to maintain the society. Those who celebrate according to the norms of their society, declare openly that the Prophet SAWSs culture was different and ours is different. We

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can not comply with His. May Allah pardon us from this kind of thinking and attitude. Quran warns against adopting the traditions of non-Islamic cults. Adopting their thoughts, lifestyle, norms, worships and beliefs are strictly forbidden. Ironically, not only Indian Muslims but even the Pakistani marriages are so pompous that they look like replica of Indian films and TV serials. The scholars, Mashaekheen as well as intellectuals too attend such marriages and bless them for prosperity while a Hadith warns that The Jewish men of knowledge used to stop the people from the evils but seeing the people not obeying, they used to mingle with them and do the same. Further the Prophet SAWS said do not follow their track lest your prayers may go unheard by Allah. This is why the prayers of Muslims are not accepted despite their ample religious activities. Those who attend such marriage parties and do not hesitate to pat both parties must remember this warning in Hadith that Allahs anger comes to peak when someone praises a disobeyer. Owing to the fact that in old India when there were no Pakistan, Bangladesh etc, it was only one territory called India, everyone was called a Hindu. After the advent of Islam, people did embrace Islam seeing equality, simplicity and honesty of Muslims but they did not have the teachings of real Islamic social system. So they remained on the path of their old traditions in every walk of life. Therefore, those countries who were not Hindus before Islam, they do not have the system of dowry at all like Malaysia, Indonesia, Africa etc. Muslims of India, Pakistan and Bangladesh practice dowry only because their ancestors were Hindus. The system is inherited and it is so deep rooted that they feel they will be outcaste if they refrain from dowry system.

The sixth cause: Male Prostitution


Every person gets paid against his professional services. All the bonanzas, prizes or medals represent the compensation of some service. Even a profane prostitute gets the compensation because of her body venture. The question arises, all the benefits received by the groom, represent the repayment of what? Islam ordered him to bring the bride

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by paying the dower, but, on the contrary, he takes the Dowry. It means that he too is selling his malehood like a professional service. He demands the bed to produce the children for the woman. He is not bringing the woman to enjoy but the woman is bringing her bed to enjoy with him. Once, a Rickshaw puller was married to the daughter of vegetable vendor. At the very day of marriage, the groom demanded Rs:2000/(this incident dates back to 1970). On inquiring the reason he told: If I were a Doctor, hadnt you spent two lakhs on me? If a doctor is a man, am I not? Thus, it proves that every man wants price of his malehood. He demands for the car decorated with flowers to bring him to the marriage hall. This reminds us the dancers and pimps of olden days when the Raja and Nawabs used to send the decorated carts to bring them to the palace. Like those dancers and pimps used to collect money for performance, todays grooms too collect money and dowry for their acts. Higher is the degree costlier is the price. If the groom arrives from America or Gulf, he demands for an exquisite hotel or stupendous function hall with a standard reception. Incase, the bride is not faircolored, the rate of groom increases. Just like a prostitute does not allow the client until and unless she collects the money in advance, the groom too does not let the bride enter in her home unless he gets the agreed dowry. Like a prostitute who squabbles if she is not paid accordingly, the groom as well his parents too squabble if there is anything falls short of their expectations. This leads to several quarrels, threats and harassments to the bride until she either meets the demand of the groom or commits suicide. Many a grooms expect from the parents of the bride to pay the expenses of the delivery of the first child. This is extreme of lack of conscience and shame. The brides parents have to give a feast too on this occasion and present the gifts again; otherwise the grooms side behaves very reluctantly. Do this unethical acts suit to the men?

The seventh cause: Social Blackmailing


We met thousands of men so far. No one ever confessed that he demanded the dowry. All very politely said whatever they got was given happily by the brides side. This is akin to social blackmailing. Everyone knows that this is a social black mail i.e. no dowry no

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wedding. But all have to seal their lips and become silent spectators. Scholars and Mashaekheen do not like to displease their devotees. The leaders are silent because their interest is not the social reform but the vote bank. The grooms elders watch silently but happily as there is nothing wrong if something is coming free of cost in their home. The brides side has to submit to this blackmail silently due to the fear. The attendees keep silence so as not to destroy the relations. They can not afford to disturb the vested interests with the inviters. They can not surrender to Allah and to His Prophet SAWS because they have already surrendered themselves to the blackmail of the system, society, fear, ego, prestige or greed. Those who know the plight of the brides parents do not open mouth because no one had opened his mouth when they too were the victims. And those who have not become the victim yet, are waiting for their turn to be blackmailed. In fact, the society has become a Co-operative society of Blackmailers. Each one is playing his part in cooperation to continue this evil. In the holy Quran the verses in Sura Baqara & Sura Nisa jointly enjoin not to eat the income of others in wrong way. Ahmed Raza Khan Barelvi, Maulana Moudoodi, Maulana Mufti Md. Shafi along with the exegesis of Jalalain and Ibne Katheer and others have opined unanimously about this verse that the claiming right on somebodys belonging through fault, cunningness, despotism, deception, troubling or through cunning methods is illegitimate (Haraam). Not only this but also the spending of legitimate income in illegitimate acts too is Haraam. Thus burdening the brides parents in the name of the system is like eating others belonging illegitimately. Since the verse of the Quran allows this only on the condition that the spender spends willingly, the grooms side takes the advantage of this permission and makes the excuse that the brides parents spent with consent. The brides parent too have to confess under pressure that they are doing all this for the sake of daughters prosperity or security they are spending with consent. All happens under a social blackmail system. There are many instances where you have to pretend to have bribed gleefully which, in fact, is under force. For example, to obtain a seat in a college, train or a plane or to get your file approved by an officer, or to be operated free by a doctor in the Government hospital etc. At all these places, of course, you are paying happily but, in

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fact, this is not a gleeful spending. You are forced to do it because if you do not, you can not get your job done. There is another excuse for the blackmail. Often the grooms say: if we deny the dowry, the brides people become suspicious. Maulana Mujahidul Islam Qasimi said: To give or accept the dowry with volition is more dangerous than taking by demand because it is a fraud. Those who give voluntarily, they create obstacles for others who can not afford. In my view, the real culprits of the society are those who spend voluntarily. Maulana Mufti Khaleel Ahmed, Jamia Nizamia, says : To demand the dowry or the dinner is illegitimate. The pre-marital boon is a type of bribe and despotism. Asking or Begging and putting somebody in troubleis an act of humiliating self, therefore, it is illegitimate. Late Maulana Hameeduddin Aqil Hussami said: The dowry is as illicit as the pork. It is bribery. The bribery and eating pork both are equally illegitimate. The adage of Maulana Saifullah Khalid Rahmani is that if someone puts the condition to his divorcee that he would re-marry her provided she waives off the dower, this marriage is invalid. Further he says: Even the donation given in a mosques construction from the dowrys amount is illicit, if accepted by the mosque management knowingly, they will be sinful. Maulana Burhanuddin Qasmi of Sanbhal says: If the father of the bride collects the money from the groom other than Mehrs amount, it is a bribe. Instead of taking from the groom, taking from the bride is a bigger crime.

The eighth cause: Turmoil or Havoc (Fitna)


As it is mentioned in the Holy Quran the turmoil is a bigger crime than the murder. If we take a tour out to the rural areas, we can see with our own eyes how the Muslims are distressed due to marriage customs. As Justice Sachir has said that the economic condition of Muslims is worse than the Dalits, the dowry system has brought them to their knees. The Muslims are compelled to adopt those professions which were the identity of untouchables once upon a time. To add to the humiliations to the community, even a labor or rickshaw puller demands at least Rs. 50,000 in cash besides the bed, TV, fridge, bike etc in the dowry. The poor people of brides side have to take loans and pay the interests for years. They can not pay the school fee of their children but they are constrained to pay the interest on the 1st of every month otherwise the interest collectors make their life a hell. Most unfortunately, the interest collectors too belong to Muslim community while they know very well

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that the Quran says that one who takes interest is like the one who commits adultery with his own mother. Just imagine, if they are relieved from this fitna of dowry, the fathers and brothers of the bride can do the business and the business profession has been most blessed by the profit. A businessman becomes the source of bread for others, but the dowry system has deprived the men from becoming businessmen, instead they are becoming beggars. The Prophet SAWS had told: Allah kept ten doors of blissful income, nine of them are for business doers. Thus he ordered to develop the trade. But due to dowry system everyone deprives the other from establishing any business and compels each other to remain at low-paid professions. The worst of worst Fitna created by the dowry system is that the prostitution is increasing. The girls are going out and mixing up and even marrying with non-Muslims. The cases of abortions, foeticide and infanticide are increasing day by day. Cases filed in the courts for divorce, anti-dowry and harassment or dowry deaths are the stories of every third or fourth house in every locality. Saving money for the dowry has become the most essential task in the life of a father. Therefore, he is bound to earn by hook or crook. Many of the marriages nowadays are taking place with the help of illicit money otherwise in these days no one can think of spending so much with legitimately hard earned income. See the crime rate and see the ratio of Muslims involved in it. Population-wise Muslims ratio should be 15-20% in the crimes but their percentage is 50%. The reason is that for the sake of the dowry of daughter or sister, everyone is trying to earn by any means, right or wrong, whether he is an auto driver, mechanic or a doctor or an engineer.

The Fitna of deprivation of the inheritance


This issue never existed in the history before. This is the newest fitna which took birth due to the dowry system. The sons are deprived of their legitimate right of inheritance. Again, according to Justice Sachir, 85% of the Muslim population in India is living on or below poverty line. Whatever they can save throughout the life, instead of giving to the sons for establishing business, they are bound to spend on the daughters. As a result, the sons are compelled to seek low class professions. Quran strictly declares the rules of inheritance as the line of control of Allah. If a father gives away one lakh to the daughter, he has to give min. 3 lakhs to the son too. But he can not. Therefore the orders of inheritance are violated due to the dowry. Therefore, when the time

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comes for distribution of the inheritance after the death of the father, the sons deprive the sisters of their right as the sisters had already taken away major portion of their right at the time of marriage. This is again a violation of Allahs line of control. Since the woman does not have right to inheritance in original Hinduism, so the father has to give away whatever he can at the time of marriage. But Islam has given the right to inheritance to the woman. Due to the dowry system, the woman has to be married according to the Hindu system i.e. with all dowry demands but after the marriage she and her husband come to ask for the share of inheritance according to Islam. As a result, the families are drowning in the quarrels and court cases between the brothers and sisters. This is the result of violating the line of control of Allah.

Fornication is rampant due to Dowry


The Prophet SAWS said that :Make the wedding so much easy that adultery become difficult. But due to the burden of the dowry system, the adultery has become easy as it is lot cheaper than the wedding. Mathematically, by dividing the cost of marriage by the cost of fornication, one can calculate himself how many fornications he has made easy. As an average, everyone who makes the brides parents spend minimum one lakh Rupee, he makes 200 fornications easy. Those who spend several lakhs, they make several thousand fornications easy. This is the reason girls tend to go for fornication rather than thinking of marriages. By this, they get tips as well as luxurious lifestyle too. Any survey of the abortions per day in the maternity homes or survey of unmarried couples at the theaters, parks or resorts will show how much difficult the wedding has become and how much easy the fornications or prostitution has been made .

The solution Boycott is the first step towards any change


Boycott attending such marriages where the dowry is involved and where the wedding day dinner is imposed on the brides father. Although the Prophet SAWS has instructed to accept the invitation, but at the same time there are ample examples where the Prophet SAWS as well as his companions boycotted the invitation if they were against the Shriya rules. People do remember strongly the saying of the Prophet SAWS about accepting the dinner but do not know the warnings not to attend those parties where Shariya rules are violated. When people know very

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well that todays marriages are dowry ridden, therefore, Haraam, still they do not hesitate to attend and appreciate them. The attendees are more responsible than the inviters although both are strengthening the evil of the dowry system evil in the society. Most of the attendees behave like starving beggars who do not care whether the food is legitimate or not. They throng upon with family and children just for filling stomach. There is no serenity in attending a marriage which is starkly against Islamic principles and directives. If we do not eschew such functions, we are hypocrites. To keep the relations intact with the inviters, we do not care the relation with Allah and Quran. It require a boisterous courage and assiduity to put an end to this evil. Revolution is not spearheaded by chicken-livered. The greatest fight is to utter truth before the dictators. One should tell the inviters at the same time when he receives the invitation card that since the dowry and the dinner by the brides side is not legitimate in Islam, I can not attend such ceremony. I cannot displease Allah and his Prophet SAWS at the cost of pleasing you. Since these rituals are invented by the people who are called followers of the Prophet SAWS, they must remember the Hadith that on the Day of Judgment, all will gather at the Well of Kausar (Houz-e-kausar) where the Prophet SAWS will greet his followers intimately. Suddenly a wall will be erected between the Prophet SAWS and some followers. The Prophet SAWS will ask why they are separated from me? He SAWS will get the reply that these people had invented new things in the religion after you. Then the Prophet SAWS very reluctantly will debar them saying Get away from me, get away from me. If only one daring person establishes such an example of boycott, whole community will be alarmed. The people will be divided in favor and against him. Thus a seed will be sown in the conscience. people will ponder over this matter and a new argument will start. Let this argument start everywhere. The day will come when everyone will agree that this boycott is inevitable to establish real Islam. Thus, just one person will be enough to bring a revolution in whole community.

Is wedding day dinner legitimate in Islam?


this is a tyranny on the brides side to ask, demand or expect from them to give the feast on the day of wedding. It was never before until 2-3 decades ago. This prevailed since the number of NRIs, Doctors, Engineers and land grabbers started increasing. It became a sign of prestige to give dinner to the grooms family. The burden on the brides family is doubled as they already bear the burden of the dowry. During

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the last one or two decades some more feasts are added to the marriage. The ceremonies like Sanchak, Haldi and Maayon etc were already existing before but not with such pompous show of extravagance. Now it has become compulsory for both parties to conduct these ceremonies in the function halls. Now the financial burden on the brides family has been tripled. Those who are capable of spending, invent newer fashions of not only ceremonies but also dresses, styles, videographer etc, These acts set a role model and attract every young boy and girl to a dream marriage like that. The poor parents get compelled to fulfill the desires of their daughters and eventually get financially crushed. All these acts belong to Israaf (extravagance) which has been declared Haraam in chapter Bani Israel. The Quran says: It is illegitimate to cooperate in illegitimate acts. Just like writing, witnessing and mediating is Haraam in any deal of usury, in the same way, any kind of involvement, mediation and participation in the marriages where the dowry is traded and dinner is imposed on the brides family is illegitimate. Such fetes should be sidelined by one and all as the Prophet SAWS has prohibited to attend those parties which are held for show-off and pride. If it were not a show-off then the people would not offer several type of dishes, would not lease most expensive Hotels or banquet halls. This is vanity as all make the excuse of maintaining the societys standard. Although they do not confess this is vanity, but they are afraid of peoples comments, womens desires and childrens ego. Therefore, from Shariya point of view attending such marriages is illegitimate.

Dinner should be given by the man not by woman


There is no instance in the history that the Prophet SAWS or his companions RA or follower of the companions ever took their guests to dine at the brides house. In fact, it is looked upon as bad because it is against the mans prestige to celebrate at the cost of others expenses. In the whole Arab world, the Muslim follow the tradition of Sunnah for last 1400 years. The man pays for the dinner as well as for everything that is needed for the new home. Besides this, he pays the dower net and buys gold too for his bride. Having lived in Saudi for last 35 years, we never saw any Arab ever had the dinner with his guests at brides expense. The Arabic word Rijjal denotes the one who spends from his pocket. Antonym to this word is MU Rijjal means the one who benefits from womans money. The Arabs, in true sense, are Rijjal and the Indian Pakistanis fall in the category of MU Rijjal as they take benefit of the Hindu system and make the brides parents spend.

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The Indians and Pakistanis must adopt the Arab system. The dinner on the wedding day is called Walima in advance. Sometimes they share the expenses with the brides side if the number of the guests from the brides relatives is more otherwise, in most of the cases, the man gives the Walima dinner on the day of wedding itself. All the Arab scholars unanimously agree that this is perfectly in accordance with Shariya but, unfortunately, some of the Indian and Pakistani scholars do not allow this. The Walima dinner is treated as an obligation on the man which our scholars insist to be given next day of the wedding. Since the real ceremony that attracts the hearts is on the wedding day, so they allow the brides side to give feast on the day which is not obligatory at all. Although our scholars know very well that this feast costs fortune for many of the parents who can not afford, still they prefer to put them in trouble but can not allow the Walima in advance on the wedding day. They say Walima is not valid unless the couples meet in solitude. This reasoning is not opposed by the Arab scholars but they do not accept it as an ultimate rule. As a matter of joke, the people urge for confirmation of the conjugal meeting of the couple but they do not ask the groom what is the guarantee of the confirmation? Why does he print the invitation card of Walima dinner in advance? Walima is nothing but an announcement of the wedding. This announcement whether it is done on the first day or next day, is sufficient to be done once. So, why not on the first day itself? Why the time and money should be wasted on two separate parties? From Shariyas point of view, the Walima is not mandatory, it is Masnoon means not obligatory. The Prophet SAWS said: If the Walima is beyond the capacity of the groom, he can gather some close friends who come with their Tiffin and, thus, the announcement automatically is done. Maulana Mufti Taqi Osmani categorically says that Walima celebration with money borrowed or taken on loan is not valid. Since the Hindu belief is that Shaadi atoot bandhan hota hai (the marriage is unbreakable tie) and they believe that it takes place only once in a lifetime, so it is the luscious opportunity to go in to rapture. Such a belief is suicidal not only for the Muslim society but for the whole womanhood. Making the Reception dinner compulsory is a sin that falls in the category of Bidaa (a new thing invented in the religion for own convenience). One should host his own guests on the wedding day or next day on his own expense within his capacity. Otherwise, it is immoral to call his guests and ask the brides father to serve food to them. It is not difficult for the wealthy people to host a thousand guests

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but the parent and brothers of the poor brides loose all of their hard earned money. To gather the participants in the marriage (BAARATI) is a Hindu culture. There is no concept of Baarat in Islam. There are several instances and one of them is that the very intimate companion of the Prophet SAWS married and did not invite even the Prophet SAWS although he lived in the same locality. The saying of Hazrat Ali RA is very judicious that the noble person is tested in anger and the mean is tested in ecstasy. When the mean gets the wealth and comes to spend, no Quran or Hadith can stop him as his pride and ego compels him to enjoy his wealth. He behaves like a dumb and deaf when we talk about Islamic teachings in front of him. The only solution is to boycott such mean inviters parties who violate the Sunnah of the Prophet SAWS. A laymans boycott may not effect much to change the society but if our scholars, Mashaekheen, leaders and intellectuals as well as influential people stick to Islams real purpose and boycott such weddings, it is possible to give way to real Islam in the society. At the same time, they will make their place in the hearts and prayers of millions who are helpless and shackled by the dowry system. It is the first and foremost duty of every Muslim to persuade for good and dissuade from evils. Best way today to perform this duty is to boycott such marriages and spread hatred for extravagant. This will benefit not only the Muslims but millions of Hindus too who will get an inspiration to build such a society where the daughter is not taken as a burden. They will have no hesitation to confess the truthfulness and justice in the Islamic teachings. The need of the hour is that the marriage ceremony should take place in the Mosque as instructed by the Prophet SAWS. Instead of going to marriage hall from the mosque, the bride should be taken to grooms home and next day the groom should celebrate Walima dinner. This is real Islamic way. If the relatives insist for the dinner on the same day of marriage, the Walima should be preponed. If the brides side wants to include their guests too, they can share the expense. Shariya instructs the man as an obligation that he should declare his status before marriage whether he can afford the bed, furniture, fridge etc or not. If the brides side accepts his condition, then the wedding is valid. This act fulfills the rules of Kafoo or Kafaat. Otherwise, it is a cheating that without declaring his status, he collects everything from the bride. Regarding the selection of spouse, the Prophet SAWS set the criteria that whoever will prefer beauty, wealth or family status over piety he will be responsible for spreading chaos and havoc (Fitna and Fasaad) on the earth. If the people want their children to become like

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Hasan RA and Hussain RA, they have to conduct first their marriage like Ali RA and FatimaRA. If they love to marry like Hindu Gods and wish their children become like Hasan RA and Hussain RA, how is it possible?

What those should do who have taken the dowry?


Almost all the schools of thoughts agree to this jurisprudence that if something is taken from the bride instead of giving her Mehr, it is a bribe, so it is illegitimate. If the dowry was taken due to lack of knowledge about the dowry at the time of marriage, it is an Amanat (deposit), and if it was taken deliberately by demand, it was bribe. In both cases the amount of all items must be returned as the taker is not the owner. Mufti Mohammed Shafi says if the man had to give something extra other than the actual dower amount, he can claim back. Here people play another shifty trick that they do want to return the dowry but the brides parents would not agree to accept it back. In such cases, the whole amount should be given to the needy on behalf of the brides parents. Simple refusal of brides parents from taking back the amount is not sufficient reason to be exempted from a sin which the dowry takers have already done.

The woman is the enemy of the woman


The woman herself is the enemy of another woman. If the women are taught to keep abreast with Islamic Law, the Dowry can be eradicated completely. It is the woman first who promotes and strengthens the system of dowry. They are the one in the role of mother or sister of the groom who set the criteria for selection of the bride and negotiate for dowry, dinner and other demands. If the woman decides to establish the real Islamic law on marriage, no one can stop the revolution but since they are not taught or trained by the men at homes, therefore, they are wielding power at home and the men have surrendered to them. It is the woman first who criticizes poor brides for bringing less dowry, compel the daughters-in-law to immolate and die. She takes revenge of what the society did with her at her time of marriage. It is a vicious cycle. A woman looks helplessly to her parents surrendering to the grooms demands. She know the hardship of her father and brothers to get her married. Her conscience should awake on seeing this inhumane and she should pledge not to let other bride go thru same humiliation. But When she herself becomes the mother of the groom, she doubles the tyrannies what she had suffered herself.

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Are the Scholars accountable for this evil?


The common populace accustomed to paste all the responsibilities on the plain wall of scholars, leaders and Jamaats. It is a human psychology that one feels comfort after blaming others of the social evils. People accuse that the scholars stitch their lips against the social evils like the dowry. If it is so, why do not the people bow their heads to scholars in uncontroversial illegitimate matters like drinking wine, rape, bribe, backbiting and uttering lies etc? No one follows his own Jamaat chief or scholar or leader if they stop them from these evils with reference of Quran and Hadith. Such peoples example is like a patient who is advised to take certain medicines and preventions but he does not follow. When his illness deteriorates, he accuses the doctor. The duty of the scholars is to disseminate the knowledge of religion and they are fully complying with their duty with no lethargy and dereliction. In other words they can take the horse to the pond but cannot make it drink the water. In the same way, the scholars do convey the knowledge of Halaal and Haraam but they cannot dictate or force the people to follow. It is a common habit that everyone is captive of his own interests but accuses the scholars of negligence. There is no scholar of any school of thought who does not denounce the dowry system and extravagance. All say unanimously that these acts are haraam. But every individual wants exemption for himself but wants to impose the rules on others. Everyone wants this system be abolished but he likes this change should start from neighbors house, not from his house. This is self deception. Allah says in Sura Anfal Fear the turmoil (Fitna) that will punish not only those who committed that but those too will be punished who did not stand to fight against it. Those who are quite happy today by taking dowry will see the outcome tomorrow when all of their life will be spent in working hard like an ass to gather the money for their daughters. They will realize at that juncture what a grim crime they have committed by coordinating with a system which is killing the economy as well as morale of the society. The evil never goes unpunished in the world as well as in the world after. Marriage was an obligation in the religion, but by performing this act, once they violate the Shariya rules, whole of their life they get punishment by becoming womans slave and keep on working for income until death. May Allah guide us all to conduct the marriages according to the teachings of the Prophet SAWS.

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This booklet MEN TOO ARE SOLD FOR DOWRY is An abstract of the main research work Mard bhi bikte hain.Jahez ke liye, initially written in Urdu. It explicates the jurisdictions of all juristic Schools of Thoughtin the light of Quran and Hadith on the issue of Dowry (money or material taken from the bride's guardians at the time of marriage). The opinion of Some of the outstanding scholars and intellectualsabout the main bookis as follows:
Late Maulana Hameeduddin Aqil Hussami, Darul Uloom, Hyderabad:

A request from the author:


Please kindly review and comment so as to enable us to improve our next edition. Please inform on aleemfalki@yahoo.com, gawahurduweekly@yahoo.com Tel: Jeddah 00966 504 627 452 Hyderabad 9395 381 226 Other books of the author:
Mard bhi bikte hain.Jahez ke liye (Urdu, main research work in 220 pages)

This book not only discusses fundamentally the issues, but discovers the ways of practical applications. The Dowry is the most vicious curse of this era about which the book provides a comprehensive research. So it must be studied thoroughly ein very home.
Maulana Khalid Saifullah Rahmani:

Among all the works done on this topic so far, probably this book is most comprehensive and veritable. I wish that the words of the writer would stir the conscience of the readers and knock the closed vistas of the heart and sapience.
Mufti Khalil Ahmed Shaikhul Jamia Nizamia, Hyderabad:

Mard bhi bikte hainJahez ke liye (Urdu, booklet in urdu, Telugu, Hindi, English, Bengali) Khudara Nafil Haj & Umra ko mazhabi picnic na banayye (Urdu, booklet) Life Insurance and Muslims (English) Ek Koshish aur..(Urdu, a counseling guide on strained relations between wives and husbands) Dowry - An open violation to Human Rights & Women's Rights (Urdu)

The pre-marital largess and dowry amount is a part of corruption and despotism which is totally prohibited in the Shariya.Moreover, asking for favours and demanding something free is shameful. Giving a dowry is purely an optional and discretionary act of Bride's parents. The groom's family has no right to demand, but the matter nowadays is contrary. This is absolutely not valid.
Mohammed Rahimuddin Qureshi President, Tameer e- Millat:

These books as well as other several articles can be viewed on www.socioreforms.com. Also available at:

The Dowry is the malignant fistula of Muslim Society. In the process of bringing a reform, it is must to eradicate the dowry first. This book tries hard to shake the conscience.
Aijaz Aslam Deputy Emir of Jama'at e- Islami:

It is a timely voice against the curse of the Dowry system. It's translation in different languages is the precious need of the time.
Mohd. Tariq Ghazi Ex-Managing Editor Saudi Gazette Jeddah:

Note: The publishing, distribution and sale of this book is permitted, provided no exchange could be made on the actual text. Soft copy would be also provided to publish and if any help is requested for printing, then contact:

After the authority of Quran and Hadith, does any other argument remain valid in favor of tyrannical trade of dowry? If not, it is not only a tyranny on self but on whole humanity to become dumb and deaf. This book is a timely alarm of worst consequences the community may face if no action is taken against the dowry system.

SAM Computers and Printing Press (Regd.) Mohd. Mohtesham Ali (Basharath) Tel # 9246 54 3027, 994 88 99 196. Email: samurdu@yahoo.com
Web: www.samurdu.com

Thanks to:
Special thanks for the assistance in the translation to Mr. Raza-ulMurtuza Ansari of Dammam, Mr. Imran Azmi of Hyderabad, Mrs. Asma Khan of Sholapur and the sponsor Mr. Dilshad Ahmad of Kolkata. Mr. Mohtesham Ali Basharath, Mr. Fazil Hussain Parvez, Editor of Gawah and Mr. Nayeem Javed, chairman HADAF of Dammam too deserve thanks for their continued support to accomplish this booklet.

Mohd. Najeeb Qasmi Sanbhali Riyadh:


The dowry system has posed enormous obstacles in the way of marriages of boys and girls and it has become the source of various evils in the society. The wedding day's dinner which is imposed on the bride's parents has become a common practice in almost all over India and Pakistan. This is not Islamic culture but imported from Hindu society. The Arab's system of solo dinner on the first day itself given by the groom himself is best to be followed by everyone. By this, the baffling burden from the shoulders of the bride's parents can be reduced.

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