Stages of Family Life

Family
Is a dynamic institution, with marked changes across the life course. New families begin with courtship and evolve as the new partners settle into the realities of married life. is a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity, or co-residence. In most societies it is the principal institution for the socialization of children.

*Romantic Love
-affection and sexual passion for another person- as the basis for marriage. -is when the chemicals in your brain kick in and you feel an emotional high, exhilaration, passion, and elation when you and your lover are together.

Love is mostly tender and quiet. Love is a light that allows people to see things that are not seen by others. Romantic love is a deep emotional, sexual and spiritual recognition and regard for the value of another person and relationship.

*Settling in: Ideal and Real Marriage

Our culture gives the young an idealized, happily ever after picture of marriage. Such optimism can lead to disappointment, esp. for women, who are taught to view marriage as the key to happiness. Also, romantic love involves a good deal of fantasy: We fall in love with others not always as they are but as we want them to be (Berscheid & Hatfield, 1983) Sexuality to can be source of disappointment. In the romantic haze of falling in love, people may see marriage as an endless sexual honeymoons, only to face the sobering realization that sex becomes the less-than-all consuming passion.

Infidelity
-sexual activity outside marriage- is another area where the reality of marriage does not match our cultural ideal. In recent survey, 92% of US adults said sex outside of marriage is always wrong or almost always wrong. 21% of men and 13% of women, indicated on a private questionnaire that they had been sexually unfaithful to their partners at least once.

*Child Rearing
Despite the demands children make on us, adults in this country (USA) overwhelmingly identify raising children as one of lifes greatest joys. The trend toward smaller families is most pronounced in high-income nations. The picture differs in low-income countries in Latin America, Asia, and esp. Africa, where many women have few alternatives to bearing children.

Parenting
Is very expensive, lifelong commitment. As our society has given people greater choices about family life, more US adults have decided to delay childbirth or to remain childless. About 2/3 of parents in the US say they would like to devote more of their time to child rearing(Snell,1990; K. Clark 2002)

*The Family in Later Life

Increasing life expectancy in the US means that couples who stay married do so far a longer and longer time. Like the birth of children, their departurecreating the empty nest- requires adjustments, although a marriage often becomes closer and more satisfying. Personal contact with children usually continues because most older adults live a short distance from at least one of their children.

Continuation
The other side of the coin is that more adults in midlife now care for aging parents. The empty nest may not be filled by a parent coming to live in the home, but many adults find that caring for parents, who now live to eighty and beyond, can be as taxing as raising as young children. The oldest of the baby boomers-now sixtyare called the sandwich generation because many esp. women will spend as many years caring for their aging parents as they did caring for their children. (Lund, 1993)

Continuation
The final and surely the most difficult transition in married life comes with the death of a spouse. Because of their greater life expectancy and the fact that women marry men several older than themselves, wives typically outlive their husbands. Wives can thus expect to spend some years as widows.

The challenge of living alone following death of a spouse is esp. great for men, who usually have fewer friends than widows and may lack housekeeping skills.

U.S. Families: Class, Race and Gender

Dimensions of inequality -social class -ethnicity -race -gender are powerful forces that shape marriage and family life.

Social Class
-determines both a familys financial security and its range of opportunities. Interviewing working-class women, Lilian Rubin (1976) found that wives thought a good husband was one who held a steady job, did not drink too much and was not violent. Rubins middle class respondents never mention such things; they simply assumed that a husband provide a safe and secure house. Ideal husband was someone they could talk to easily, sharing feelings and experiences

ETHNICITY and RACE

American Indian Families

The central unit of Indian society is the family. The family unit is affected by both tribal culture and tribal structure (Red Horse, 1981). Indian families do not have the rigid structure of relationships found in Western white culture. Instead, Indians relate to people outside the immediate family in supportive and caring ways (Levine & Laurie, 1974). Indian families have been criticized often, and negative findings regarding their lifestyle appear frequently in the literature.

Continuation
In contrast, investigators seldom include positive aspects of Indian family life in their studies. (a) the helping systems that operate within the family (b) the courage and optimism obtained from spiritual life religion (c) the respect for each other and personal relationships which forms the basis for later learning. Lewis concluded that these strengths can help Indian families face poverty and inadequate living conditions.

Latino Families
Many Latinos enjoy the loyalty and support of extended families. Traditionally, too, Latino parents exercise considerable control over childrens courtship, considering marriage an alliance of families not just on Romantic love. Some Latinos also follow conventional gender roles, encouraging machismostrength, daring, and sexual conquestamong men and treating women with respect but also close supervision.

African American Families

Face economic disadvantages. People of African ancestry are three times as likely as whites to be poor and poverty means that both parents and children are likely to experience unemployment and a dangerous physical environment of crime and drug abuse.

Filipino Families
Faithfulness to the family is a tradition that is characteristic of Filipino society. This family loyalty is apparent in the fact that there are no booming businesses for retirement homes or orphanages in the Philippines. Also important to Filipinos is treating elders with the respect and deference they deserve and require. There are many ways a person can show respect, whether it is by using hand gestures or speaking in a manner that denotes respect