Listening Skills

To speak and to speak well are two things. A fool may talk, but a wise man speaks.
~Ben Jonson

EFFECTIVE ORAL COMMUNICATON

Pronunciation
Clarity,Conciseness & Completeness Vocabulary Self-Confidence Variations in the Intonation Patterns Tone and Style

ADVANTAGES OF ORAL COMM.

Immediate Feedback
Immediate Clarifications Time Persuasion and Control Formality Cost Group Communication

DISADVANTAGES OF ORAL COMM.

Future Reference
Speakers Preparedness Lengthy Messages Distortion Retaining the Message

We were given two ears but only one mouth. This is because God knew that listening was twice as hard as talking.

Listening vs. Hearing

Hearing- physical process; natural; passive
Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill Listening is hard!

Listening is more than hearing

Listening is active; hearing

is passive Listening is cognitive; hearing is natural Listening is intermittent; hearing is continuous

vs

Listening implies a choice. We must choose to participate in the process of listening

Listening Facts
75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful.
We remember only 50%of material immediately after hearing it and only 35% after 8 hours. Less than 2% of people have had formal

education with listening.

Listening Facts (cont.) rate themselves as average or 85% of individuals

worse listeners.
Listening skills are poorest when people interact with those closest to them. They interrupt and jump to conclusions more frequently Most people listen to and understand only about a fourth of what is being communicated

What is active listening?

Its a communication skill that involves both the speaker

and the receiver.

In active listening, the receiver tries to understand what

feelings, thoughts, & beliefs are being communicated and accepts it as the persons own.
The listener feeds back only what they believe the

senders message meant - nothing more, nothing less. It involves feedback and verification that the receiver correctly understood the senders message.

In active listening we will:

Listen for the content of the message. Listen and respond to the feelings of the speaker. Listen without making judgment, Note the speakers cues, both verbal and

nonverbal. Ask open-ended questions. Reflect back to the speaker what you think you are hearing.

Why is it important to listen?

Listening builds stronger relationships.
Listening leads to learning. Listening is CRITICAL in conflict resolution

Human beings want to express

themselves, to be heard.

Listening reduces stress and tension Listening is the most powerful form

of acknowledgment & creates acceptance and openness.

Listening, whether done by individuals or

by companies and government, is a signal of respect. When people dont feel listened to, they dont feel respected. And when they dont feel respected, they feel anger and resentment. This resentment is exacerbated if people think youre pretending to listen but arent. Hugo Powell

What Interferes with Listening?

Equate With Hearing External Distractions Personal Concerns Mentally Preparing Response Personal Bias Faking Attention Uninteresting Topics Speakers Delivery Language&Cultural diff. Listening for Facts

Active Listening Techniques

Encouraging Restating Reflecting Summarizing

Encouragement
The purpose is to convey interest and to keep

the person talking. To do this dont agree or disagree. Use noncommittal words in a positive tone of voice. I see uh-huh Thats interesting What did you say then? What did he say when you said that?

Restating
The purpose is to show that you are listening

and understanding. To do this, restate the others basic ideas using your own words. If I understand you, you are saying In other words, your decision is

Reflecting
The purpose is to show that you are listening

and understand what they are feeling. To do this restate the others basic feeling. You feel that You were pretty disturbed by this

Summarizing

The purpose is to pull important ideas, facts, etc.

together, to establish a basis for further discussion and to review progress. To do this restate, reflect and summarize major ideas and feelings. These seem to be the key ideas you have expressed If I understand you, you feel this way about the situation

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF LISTENING

STOP TALKING
PUT THE TALKER AT EASE SHOW THE TALKER YOU BE PATIENT

HOLD YOUR TEMPER

GO EASY ON ARGUMENT

WANT TO LISTEN REMOVE DISTRACTIONS EMPATHISE WITH THE SPEAKER

AND CRITICISM ASK QUESTIONS STOP TALKING

Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, nonjudging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.