For Developing Better Relationships

Presented By Deepika Dabke

Food for thought

When I have talked in anger,

And my cheeks were flaming red,
I have always uttered something,
Which I wish I had not said.
 Welcome
• Participate
• Listen
• Evaluate
• Appreciate
• Share
• Express
What we aim to learn

• To understand and appreciate the process of

communication as an important constituent of the
professional effectiveness

• To understand oneself and improve interpersonal

skills

• Exposure to communication concepts

• Diagnose and circumvent barriers to

communication

• To gain confidence and honing presentation skills

 Three ways to think about
communication

• Communication as ACTION: the transmission of

information from one person to another through the use of
symbols and their accompanying meaning.

• Communication as INTERACTION: the exchange of

information between two (or more) individuals through the
symbols and their accompanying meaning.

• Communication as MEANING CONSTRUCTION: the

process by which two or more individuals arrive at
ostensibly shared (or common) meanings or
understandings for symbolic actions.
 Importance Of Communication
• Organizational / Functional:
greater information access and awareness

• Improves coordination:
reduces logical gaps

• Encourages cooperation:
helps bring everyone in the mainstream

• Gives a direction:
to tasks and activities

• Morale and empowerment

 ….. Importance Of Communication

• Decision making aid

• Speeds up the organizational processes

• Better focus on customer requirements

• Generates a greater sense of organizational

commitment and involvement

• A problem solving tool:

by clarity, preciseness and feedback
 What is Communication

• Communication is an exchange of information

from the sender to the receiver with the
message being understood as intended by the
sender
Speaks
Writes
Acts
Idea Encode Sender Draws Words
Actions
Pictures
Symbols
Numbers

Decode The receiver Idea

Listens
Reads
Observes
 The Elements
The message

The receiver

The source

The medium

The feedback
The Source
 Know target audience
 Assess literacy & perception
 Speak a common language
 Know culture & customs
 Match emotions & message
 Plan time of communications
The Message

 Clear
 Complete
 Concise
 Concrete
 Correct
 Courteous
The need for good
communications
Man they say
is the only
animal who
can talk
himself into
trouble
The Medium
 Verbal, face to face
 Verbal non-face to face
 Visual
 Written
 Silence
 Gestures & Body language
 Symbolic
 The Receiver
ve
Lis
c ei
ten e r
P
feedback
g e Un
l e d de
o w rs
kn ta
c nd
A
Four Questions

1 Who said it ?

2 What did he say ?

3 What did he mean ?

4 How does he say it ?

 Who Said It?
 Specify the name.
 A vague answer like is not advisable.

'A company official'

'someone close to .'
'they said' or 'everybody'.

 This will ensure credibility of the

communication source.
.
.
What Did He Say?

 Focus on the content

 Flow of communication

At the workplace
* Upward
From employee to superior
* Downward
From superiors to the employee
* Lateral
From one employee to another
 Communication types

Verbal
• Oral - the spoken language

Non verbal
• Written
• Body language
• Expressions - facial, gestures, signs
 Medium of Communication

• Memos
• E-mails
• Notices
• Company circulars
• In-house magazines
• Oral instructions
 Barriers to Communication

• A barrier reduces or changes the quality

of the message being transmitted

• Types :
1. Physical 2.
Psychological
Poor health Lack of
Concentration
Sound / noise Attitude and bias
Unsuitable temperature Lack of self
discipline
Distractions Low emotional state
 How to overcome the barriers
For the sender
• Be clear about the message to be
sent
• Be precise and to the point
• Do not be verbose
• Use a language understandable
to the receiver
• Write the message if required
• Request a feedback to ensure
receipt of message
For the receiver
• Be attentive
• Concentrate on the message
• Ask for clarifications wherever
required
• Listen objectively
• ‘Listen’ for body
language
• Make notes if required
 Gateways to Communication

• A barrier removed is a gateway created.

• We need to eradicate the ‘neps’ from the
‘fabric’ of our communication by practicing
certain things.
1. Creating within one self the need and
willingness to understand
2. Making the message appropriate to the
receivers frame of reference
( speak the “language” of the listener)
 ….. Gateways to Communication

3. Ability to describe others behavior without

evaluating or interpreting.
4. Ask for feedback from the receiver
5. Reinforce communication by using more than
one channel to convey the message
(Verbal, written, nonverbal)
 EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

1. Plan your communication

• maintain clarity of purpose “why”,
• maintain clarity of idea, “what”.

2. Choose the medium

• language
• style
• semantics
 …. Effective Communication
3. Remove barriers ……. build gateways
DO’s DON’Ts
- seek first to understand - remove all
prejudices
and then to be understood - overcome any
distractions
- empathize with other people - reduce length of
- values, beliefs, needs & sentiments communication
channel
- use a common language
- clarify ideas before communicating
 ….. Effective Communication
4. Active Listening
• Listen with an open mind
• Make an effort to understand
• Empathize ……..reflect understanding
• Be aware of what is said and what is not said
• Don’t jump to conclusions……draw conclusions

5. Feedback
• Check for accurate receipt of message
• Check action/outcome in relation with the intent of the
message.
• Improve/alter message, if required.
• Listen
• Integrat
e LINKS
• Navigat
e
• Know
• Say-do
 Hearing +IER=Listening

• Interpret the message.

• Evaluate the message.

• Respond to the message.

 Listening : A lost art

Why do we not listen?

• actions speak louder than words
• Seeing is easier than listening
• Visual medium is powerful

We hear but don’t listen

look but don’t see
 Listening-Interpretation

• What the receiver receives may be

different from what the sender sends.
• What receiver receives depends on
– His behavior
– Past experiences
– His values, motivation, need or his attitude
– His world
 What it takes to be a good listener

• Ability to concentrate
• genuine desire to understand the other
persons point of view
• Sensitivity to needs, emotions and body
language
• Humility: “You might have a point of view and
I respect you”
• A belief that other people are important and
worth listening to.
 How to be a good listener

• Know your power as a listener

• Ask questions
• Reflect feelings
• Let your body give reassuring messages
• Know your prejudices
• Avoid making snap judgements
• Avoid anger
 The Art of Listening

Listening : an important human skill

• indispensable for superiors
• gets you respect, love and fame
• shows that you care for and respect others
• not listening could be psychologically
upsetting for the other person
• you can’t fake listening
• the higher you go, the more you have to listen
• it is a rare skill
 The Art of Listening

Listening needs an
• ability to concentrate
• a genuine desire to understand the other persons
point of view
• sensitivity to needs, emotions and body language
• humility - “I am not right alone, you might have a
point and I respect you”
• a belief that other people are important and worth
listening to
 The Art of Listening

Poor Listeners
• The fidget : “Why are you telling me ?”
• The aggressive listener : tries too hard and as a result
scares people.
• The pseudo - intellectual : hears only ideas and not
the emotions behind them
• The passive listener : :I agree with whatever you say”
• The inaccurate listener :”I can’t concentrate”
 The Art of Listening
How to be a good listener,
Know your power as a listener
• Ask questions
• Reflect feelings
• Let your body give reassuring messages. Nodding,
arms apart, legs not crossed, erect forward posture.
All these give non-verbal messages that you are
listening.
• Know your prejudices. You must discount from all
those matters towards which you are biased or
passionate.
• Avoid making snap judgments
• Avoid anger. It always gets the better of you.
 Importance Of Feedback

• Feedback is necessary to check the effectiveness of

the communication.
• Feedback helps reflect upon how well the message
has been encoded, transmitted and understood.
• Feedback helps make mid-course correction if found
required.

- in terms of action : changing strategy

- in terms of communication : changing message
How to take Feedback

- ask for it you are the sender or offer it if you

are the receiver
- observe
- evaluate the results achieved as against the
objectives set
- be objective while giving or receiving it
- focus on the task and performance aspects not
the individual’s personality
 Official Communication

1. Flow : vertical/horizontal/cross

2. Content : top-down are in the form of orders or

directives
bottom-up are in the form of feedback or
complaints

3. Through a proper channel : Who is the end audience?

Who should know first ? What should the network be ?

4. “Information is power”. One who has the authority to

communicate is considered powerful.
 Written Communication

Written communication as compared to oral

communication is at
a disadvantage because of the absence of non-verbal
gestures,
voice variation and physical expressions. This as a
result
increases the importance of clarity and accuracy of the
content
of our written message. To have effective written
communication, certain steps and guidelines may help.
 The steps

Plan
(Your communication)

Keep it short and simple

(Brevity and precision)

Write it
(Commit it on paper)

Edit your writing

(Check for corrections)
 teps

tep 1. Plan
ke nearly any activity, written communication too requires
plan and a structure. Certain thins must be clearly ascertained, like,
ender : From whom is the communication starting ?
eceiver : Who is the end receiver/audience of the written
ommunication?
urpose : Why are we making the communication ?
What is the expected outcome I.e What do expect the receiver to do ?

hese questions when answered and related will help us understand

nd design the path, requirements and the construction of the messag
Step 2. Keep it Short & Simple (K.I.S.S.)
The Structure of the content of the message must be,
• Brief: Brevity and simplicity avoids any confusion in
understanding the message.

• Specific : Only the issue or matter in question must be

addressed. Other unrelated matters must not be
included as it might decrease the significance of the
main topic.

• Sequence:The flow of or written communication must

follow a logical and stepwise format.
Step 2. Keep it Short & Simple (K.I.S.S.)
The Structure of the content of the message must be,
• Short Sentences : They facilitate easy and correct
understanding of the message.

• Simple usable words : Everyday used words maintain the

harmony and expression of our communication.

• Facts and Figures ; They help to give our communication

objectivity. Relying on unclear, subjective assumptions
and expectations blurs the message.
• Meaning of the facts
Supporting data and clarification of the facts would
help in the clarity of our communication.

• Suit it to the audience

One message may need different degrees of
explanations. This depends on the context, frame of
reference and understanding capability of the receiver
in question. We must explain and elaborate our
message depending on the receiver.
• Call for action
Our written communication should look for expected
action to be taken based on it.

• Request feedback
Our written communication must call for
acknowledgment of receipt of information.Supporting
the acknowledgment must be specific feedback on
how the communication has been understood.
 Step 3. Write It
Once we have done the above, we could proceed to
actually writing our communication on paper, bearing
a few things in mind.

• Double spacing to improve readability,as used on this

page.

• Use of paragraph to make the communication more

logical and understandable.

• Neat, uniform handwriting, in case it is not typed or

printed.
Step 4. Edit your writing
Effective editing is another step towards good writing.
The key points to remember during editing are,
• Edit your draft as brutally as if it was someone else’s
copy.

• Edit your draft from the readers point of view

• Be specially critical of the first few paragraphs

Step 4. Edit your writing (cont.)
• Look out for problems in any section you wrote when you
were bored or tired.
• Carefully study the content of your draft details, flow,
forgotten points, unrelated issues etc.
• Edit for brevity and clarity
• Read aloud for style and tone
• Edit again
Body Language

• Interpreting body language is vital in any communication

process
• Observe the body movements and postures
• Match the other person’s language
Two basic groups of
body language

• OPEN/CLOSED and
• FORWARD/BACK
RESPONSIVE REFLECTIVE FUGITIVE COMBATIVE

BORED LET ME SPEAK

ENGAGED
leaning forward
LISTENING staring into space finger tapping
open body head tilted slumped posture foot tapping
open arms doodling staring
open hands
lots of eye foot tapping AGGRESSIVE
EAGER contact LET ME GO leaning forwards
(sprint position) feet towards door finger pointing
open legs nodding looking around fists clenched
buttoning jacket DEFIANT
feet under chair high blink rate REJECTION (standing)
on toes
EVALUATING sitting/moving back hands on hips
leaning forward
sucks glasses/ arms folded frown
READY TO
pencil legs crossed 11 pos LYING
AGREE
strokes chin (thigh on knee) head touches face hand
closes papers
looks up and right down frown over mouth pulls
pen down
legs crossed in DEFENSIVE ear eyes down
hands flat on table
4 pos. (standing) glances at you
(ankle on knee) feet pointing in shifts in seat
ATTENTIVE hands clenched looks down and
(standing) to left
arms behind back
smile open feet
 Summarizing……
• Concepts, importance, barriers and ways to
overcome them
• Types, medium, gateways to communication
• Effective Communication – how to achieve
• Listening – importance, effective listening
• Feedback – importance, how to receive
• Organizational communication, memos
• Communication Ethics
• Written Communication – steps
• Body Language - Types
• Presentation Skills – how to deliver effective
presentations