Thinking Systems

Catholic Charities USA San Francisco, CA September 16, 2013

Being a minister of penance is

being a person who can be utopian in outlook, not in the sense of looking forward to some false utopia or some fantasy of the future but utopian in the sense of being willing and able to denounce that which we discover as dead in ourselves at the same time that we proclaim support for tentative, new, fresh, unsophisticated forms of life that are evolving. Towards a Renewed
Catholic Charities Movement, 1972

Leadership by Thinking Systems

Bowen Natural Systems Theory

General Systems Theory

General Systems Theory

Phenomena can only be understood if looked at as a system All parts of a system are interconnected

All systems have some form of feedback

How We Usually See Things

How it Really Works

Input

Throughput

Output

Feedback Loop

Bowen Theory

Systems develop processes for managing anxiety Key Concepts

Multi-Generational Transmission
Family Projection Triangles Sibling Postion Cut Off Fusion

Differentiation
Societal Emotional Process

Multi-Generational Transmission
Ways of thinking, feeling and behaving are transmitted over generations. The transmission occurs on several interconnected levels ranging from the conscious teaching and learning of information to the automatic and unconscious programming of emotional reactions and behaviors. The next step in the multigenerational transmission process is people predictably selecting mates with similar processes.

Projection
The way people transmit their emotional processes and ways of dealing with things including heightened needs for attention and approval, difficulty dealing with expectations, the tendency to blame oneself or others, feeling responsible for the happiness of others or that others are responsible for one's own happiness, and acting impulsively to relieve the anxiety of the moment rather than tolerating anxiety and acting thoughtfully.

Triangles
A triangle is a three-person relationship system. A triangle can contain more tension than a two-person relationship because the tension can shift around three relationships. If the tension is too high for one triangle to contain, it spreads to a series of "interlocking triangles. Spreading the tension can stabilize a system, but nothing gets resolved.

Sibling Position
People often behave in predictable ways based on their position within the system

Eldest children may prefer leadership roles Youngest children may prefer supporting roles

Cut Off - Fusion

Anxiety is managed by creating distance in a relationship. Relationships may look "better" if people cutoff to manage them, but the problems are dormant and not resolved. People also risk making their new relationships too important. For example, the more a man cuts off from his family of origin, the more he looks to his spouse, children, and friends to meet his needs.

Differentiation
The extent to how others impact how one acts, thinks, and feels. People with a poorly differentiated "self" depend heavily on the acceptance and approval of others. Whereas a person with a well-differentiated "self" recognizes their realistic dependence on others, but can stay calm and clear headed enough in the face of conflict, criticism, and rejection to distinguish thinking rooted in a careful assessment of the facts from thinking clouded by emotionality.

Societal Emotional Process

The emotional system governs behavior on a societal level similar to what happens in families, promoting both progressive and regressive periods in a society. The "symptoms" of societal regression include a growth of crime and violence, an increasing divorce rate, a more litigious attitude, a greater polarization between racial groups, less principled decision-making by leaders, the drug abuse epidemic, an increase in bankruptcy, and a focus on rights over responsibilities.

Systems at Work
EVENT Report Overdue REACTION Boss Micro Manages Employee OUTCOME Work Gets Done

PATTERNS DEVELOP Employee has increased stress, second guesses himself, continues to look to supervisor to finish & control things, dependence created, Employer feels the need to take more control

Group Exercise
Film Clip From The Office Using the General Systems template identify any processes you observed

Discuss in your group what you identified and what different (more differentiated) choices could be made.
Pay attention to your initial reaction and how it shifts after the discussion

Differentiation

Self

Other

Differentiation

Thoughtful

Emotional

Differentiation

Self

Other

Differentiation

Thoughtful

Emotional

Differentiation

Self Other

Differentiation

Thoughtful Emotional

Immature Leader

Bully / Intimidates Constant Talker Has all the answers Little delegation

Doesnt reply to emails / phone calls Not a listener Somewhere else during meeting preoccupied Change subject if issue is sensitive Avoids conversation becomes passive Creates dependency among system members which promotes immaturity

Overworks
Owns all the good ideas Threatened

Talks about others when not present

Worries about others responsibilities Gossip and rumor Competitive Critical / Fault-finding Oppositional

Disallows new information rejecting of new ideas or creativity

Conflict always seems to find their door Relies on past success to solve future problems

Mature Leader

Treat individuals as equals Balance Talking and listening Not insistent on their ideas Allow time for thinking-through Know that a good decision is a process

A soft answer turneth away wrath Intellectually engaged always learning Stays connected Consultative model engages others opinions and ideas Patient

Encourage good thinking and new ideas On-time, prepared for meetings Engage in conversation / say what they think Know when to take a break let emotional intensity calm

Know triggers
Connects with triangles Keep Big Picture in mind

Use Humor
Correct own contributions to the problems

It's All About Relationships

High Level Relationships Demonstrate:

Separateness functioning independently, not needing others to support or complete them

Equality based on valuing mutual contributions, not tallying up individual assets

Openness communication patterns based on integrity and transparency Understands ones role in the problem

Operationally, ideal (system change) begins when one can find a leader with the courage to define self, who is as invested in the welfare of the system as in self, who is neither angry nor dogmatic, whose energy goes into changing self rather than telling others what they should do, who can know and respect the multiple opinions of others, who can modify self in response to the strength of the group, and who is not influenced by the irresponsible influence of others. When one member moves toward differentiation, the symptoms disappear. A leader is beyond the popular notion of power. A responsible leader automatically generates mature leadership qualities in other members who are to follow. Kerr and Bowen, 1988

patricia.bruner@camdendiocese.org
856-342-4132 andy.zmuda@camdendiocese.org 856-342-8779