ASSERTIVENESS

A skill through which one can express ones rights and feelings without hurting others to the extent possible

PASSIVE

Ignores ones own rights and feelings Respects others rights and feelings

AGGRESSIVE
Respects only ones own rights and feelings Ignores others rights and feelings

ASSERTIVE

Respects ones own rights and feelings Respects others rights and feelings also

PASSIVE BEHAVIOUR

Giving in to others requests and putting pressure on oneself Saying `Yes when one wants to say `No

Feeling inadequate and being manipulated

WHY PEOPLE ARE PASSIVE

Sorry! next time I will take care

Fear of disapproval
Fear of criticism Out of politeness To avoid conflicts Unskilled in being assertive

WHAT HAPPENS IF ONE IS PASSIVE?

Loss of confidence and feeling of low worth Gets hurt and does not use ones full potential Feels angry and frustrated Loses control in relationships Allows others to manipulate Feels miserable and doesnt know why Never fulfills ones own legitimate needs

AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR
Forcing others to do what you want and ignoring their feelings Saying No in a hostile and sarcastic manner

WHY PEOPLE ARE AGGRESSIVE

Lack of confidence Success in the past with aggression

To demonstrate power
To release anger To manipulate others

WHAT HAPPENS IF ONE IS AGGRESSIVE?

Conflicts and break up of relationships Labelled pushy and domineering

Loses respect of others

Increased stress and possible violence Cannot achieve results

ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR

JUST SAY NO, TO DRUGS

Feeling comfortable in expressing ones needs and feelings Being able to say `No without affecting the relationship

WHY PEOPLE ARE ASSERTIVE

Feel confident about themselves Have respect for others hence avoid hurting others Feel in control of situations Honest to self and others

WHAT HAPPENS IF ONE IS ASSERTIVE?

Able to get things done without problems Gains self respect

Reduces fear in interpersonal relationships and strengthens them

Avoids exploitation and manipulation and always in control

YOUR RIGHTS

You have the right to do anything, as long as it does not hurt others maintain your dignity, if you feel you are being manipulated

make a request to the other person and realize that the other person has the right to say `No

Effective assertive statements

Start the statement with No Use clear and crisp language Avoid long winded explanations Dont blame or use others to explain your stand Dont expect the other to accept your explanation or decision Dont sound apologetic

Non verbal cues for assertiveness

Look at other in his eye Speak in a clear firm voice Stand / sit up erect Use natural gestures

Importance of assertiveness for clients in recovery

Handle peer pressure and safeguard sobriety Live by his values Exercise his rights and implement his decisions Build and safeguard his self-esteem Maintain good relationships

Importance of assertiveness for counselors

Handle clients with firmness even while being empathetic Set limits and implement rules appropriately Function in line with our professional ethics Safeguard team spirit Function as role models by exercising our rights and living by our values without unduly hurting others