What is Conflict?

The Nature of Conflict

Course Introduction
 Conflict is a natural, healthy part of any organization
and can foster creative thinking.

 It can be, however, painful when not managed

productively.

 Can be both functional and

dysfunctional

 Conflict should be understood

as a process rather than an
episode.
 Many causes, including differences in personalities,
objectives, recourses, and historical relationships.

 Although many of us understand the value of conflict, we

feel uncomfortable when confronted by it.

 This discomfort is due to a lack of understanding of the

conflict process as well as from a lack of training in how
to handle interpersonal confrontations effectively.

 In this course, we will address these issues by

exploring and developing both analytical and behavioral
skills for conflict management.
 How do you view conflict?
Competitive: As a As a danger?
battle to be won?

 Your view of conflict

determines, to a large
extent,whether or not a Destructive/
Constructive/ creative solution will be
found. Unproductive
Productive

As a problem to Creative: As an
be solved? opportunity?
 Conflict is a naturally occurring outcome when
people with different perspectives; priorities and
goals interact.

 The presence of conflict is not the fault of one

person.

 There is no one to blame.

 However, "the way we think about conflict has

important implications for the way we act in
situations where conflict exists"
your comments……
Conflict Defined
 "Conflict." is a word that causes most of us a
great degree of:

 Discomfort,
 Anger,
 Frustration,
 Sadness, and
 Pain
The dictionary defines "conflict" as

 "a struggle to resist or overcome;

 contest of opposing forces or powers; strife; battle.

 A state or condition of opposition; antagonism; discord.

 A painful tension set up by a clash between opposed and

contradictory impulses."

No matter how hard we try

to avoid it, conflict periodically
creeps up in lives.
 Examples include:

 “A situation in which interdependent people express

differences in satisfying their individual needs and
interests, and they experience interference from each
other in accomplishing these goals” (Nawaz vs.
Zardari)

 “Conflict arises when a difference between two or

more people necessitates change in at least one
person in order for their engagement to continue and
develop. (Management vs. workers)

 The differences cannot coexist without some

adjustment.”
A simple, useful definition
 Conflict is an expressed struggle
between at least two interdependent
parties who perceive:

 incompatible goals, (Me vs. You)

 scarce resources, and

 interference from others in achieving

their goals. (American drone attacks
in FATA)
 Transforming a conflict depends on perceptual or
conceptual change in one or more of the parties.

 Perception is at the core of all

conflict analysis.

 You must sort out what is actually

happening from the perception of
what is happening
An Expressed Struggle
 Communication is the central element in all
interpersonal conflict:
 Communication behavior often
creates conflict

 Communication behavior reflects

conflict

 Communication is the vehicle for

the productive or destructive
management of conflict
Interdependence
 A person who has no special interest in what
another does has no conflict with that other
person. (Intel vs. CAT)

 In all conflicts, therefore,

interdependence carries
elements of cooperation and
elements of competition.
(Collaborate with your
competitors)
Interdependence
 Parties decide the extent to which they will operate in an
interdependent or independent way
 “We are in this together” versus “Doing my own thing”
(Zardari vs. others)

 Parties must decide how much they are willing to allow

the other party or parties to influence their choices (Pak
vs. America)
Perceived Incompatible Goals
 People fight over needs, but often not the ones they SAY
they are fighting over (the fight over CJ)

 Whether or not the goals are really incompatible, the

perception that they are, is central to all conflict

 Making the real goals

clear, and clarifying the
value to each party can
help move people forward
with their relationships
Perceived Scarce Resources
 Resources are defined as “any positively
perceived physical, economic, or social
consequence.”

 A resource can be anything

perceived as valuable and
limited– from affection to money
to status
Perceived Scarce Resources

 Some resources are truly limited and others more

limitless, but it is the perception of the resource and
how it is distributed that is important to understand in
conflict situations (e.g. Power and Self Esteem)
Interference
 If the presence of another person interferes
with desired actions, conflict intensifies

 Parents vs. teenagers – these conflicts often

involve this element
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN CONFLICT IS BADLY
MANAGED or IGNORED?????????????????
WHEN CONFLICT IS BADLY MANAGED or
IGNORED, the following often occurs...
 anxiety  anger
 withdrawal  loss of productivity
 Procrastination  resentment
 helplessness  high blood pressure
 Confusion  stress
 Denial  tiredness
 separation  Illness
 escalation  broken crockery
 polarization
 loneliness
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
CONFLICT IS MANAGED
SKILLFULLY……..
WHEN CONFLICT IS MANAGED
SKILLFULLY, the results are
different.
 a sense of smooth running  a sense of achievement

 comfort  a sense of expansion

 Fun
 Teamwork
 vitality
 change
 Growth
 happiness
 expanded relationships
 openness  Peace
 Efficiency  relaxation
 feeling of power  good health
 relief  restful sleep
 comradeship
Misconceptions about Conflict
 Conflict, if left alone, will take
care of itself. Will it?

 Confronting an issue or a
person is always unpleasant. Is
it?

 Conflict in an organization is a
sign of poor management. Oh!

 Anger is always negative and

destructive. Well!
The first step……..
 The first step in resolving conflict is to regard conflict as
an opportunity and look for the conflict clues.

 If you learn to recognize the clues of discomfort and

incidents and deal with them promptly, you can often
save a situation from tension, misunderstanding or crisis.
Understanding the Nature of
Conflict
 We have many myths about conflict that directly impact how
a person responds to it.

 Let's debunk those myths and look at some of the truths about
conflict.

 Conflict is not evil. Conflict occurs naturally when two or more

differences (perspectives, intentions, values, goals etc.), collide.

 Conflict is not essentially dangerous. Conflict can be creative.

 When conflict is handled well, the differences between people

can lead to better decisions, better solutions and far greater
outcomes.
Understanding the Nature of
Conflict
Conflict is not isolated events. Conflict is part of inter-related
systems of ideas, interactions and practices,

 Therefore, the quality and outcomes depend on how you and

others think, talk, act and feel.

 Conflict is not one "fault" of one party. Looking for someone

to blame is a total waste.

 Conflict can be transformed into cooperation. By becoming

conscious and shifting how you think, act, communicate and feel,
you and others you work with can transform conflict into
cooperation.
The Four Conflict Codes are:
1. The Mindset Code: How people habitually think
in the workplace.

2. The Behavior Code: How people act toward and

with each other at work.

3. The Conversation Code: How people

communicate with each other and about each
other.

4. The Emotion Code: The feelings people bring to

and cultivate in the workplace.
Destructive Conflict:
Individual Communication
 Conflict can be constructive
or destructive depending on
the context and the
communication behaviors
exhibited

 There are four

communication practices
that predict the end of a
relationship unless
something is done to turn
things around
The Four Horses of the
Apocalypse
 Critical Start-up sets the tone
for any conflict

 Defensiveness characterizes
destructive conflict

 Stonewalling occurs when one

person withdraws from the
interaction

 Contempt contributes to
destructive conflict
Exercise: Defusing Critical
Start-Up
 Changing “criticisms” to “complaints

 Let’s think of some critical

statements we have experienced
from others

 Small Group activity: Choose two

critical statements within your group
and reframe them into legitimate
complaints
 Exercise: Hot Words and Phrases Possible
Replacements
Hot Words/Phrases Replacements
Race, colour words, and words related to discrimination

Whatever
I don't care
I don't give a damn
I don't want to hear.

Threatening sounding words and phrases like "If you don't be

quiet I will throw you out"

Helplessness phrases like "There's nothing I can do"

Challenges & Dares like "Go ahead and try to get me fired", or
"My supervisor is just going to say the same thing"

Blame or ignorance phrases like "If you paid attention you

would", or “Why don't you listen?"
 Table 2: Hot Words and Phrases Possible Sample
Replacements
Hot Words/Phrases Replacements
Race, colour words, and words Use background instead of more specific reference
related to discrimination to race, colour, and culture.
Whatever Replace with non-brush off statements.
I don't care Use phrases like "It would help me if we could get
I don't give a damn back to the issue of...."
I don't want to hear.
Threatening sounding words and phrases like Replace with assertive limits and consequences
"If you don't be quiet I will throw you out" phrased in a non-threatening tone
Helplessness phrases like Try replacing with:
"I'm not sure I can help on this one, but let's
"There's nothing I can do" see what we can figure out."
Challenges & Dares like "Go ahead and try to get Replace with phrases that recognise the other
me fired", or "My supervisor is just going to person has a right to do what they choose:
say the same thing" "You certainly are within your rights to talk to
my supervisor"
Blame or ignorance phrases like "If you paidAllow face-saving. "Perhaps I didn't explain that
attention you would", or “Why don't you very well. I can give it another try if it would
listen?" help?"
Destructive Conflict Spirals:
Characterized by:
 Avoidance patterns that
reduce the chance for
productive conflict
 Attack/withdraw or
Pursue/Flee pattern
 Poorly expressed strong
emotion
 Reciprocity of negative
emotion
 Retaliation
 Inflexibility or rigidity
 A competitive system of
dominance and
subordination
 Demeaning verbal and
nonverbal communication
such as ridicule and
contempt
Constructive Conflict

 The purpose of this course is to help you

learn to create (and help others create)
constructive, healthy conflict
Analysis of Elements of Healthy
Conflict
The parties express the elements of their struggle clearly

 Perceptions of interdependence are “checked out” and

verified

 Goals that are perceived as incompatible are disclosed to

ensure that there really is a conflict

 If resources are scarce, alternatives like sharing or use of

other resources are explored

 The perception that parties are blocking or interfering with

another’s goals is examined