PARENTING

Parenting
A video about the types
TYPES OF PARENTING
1. Authoritative parenting
Parents Motto: The world is constantly changing and one day I
wont be there to tell you what to do so you need to figure it
out for yourself.
Childs Motto: I did my best and had the right intentions, I have
no regrets.
* Considered the best and result in the most
emotionally stable children
* Children learn to think for themselves and
how to make decisions based on morality
and sound judgment
*Have rules and regulations and they expect
their kids to follow them
*BUT at the same time listen to their
children
*By listening to their children, authoritative
parents end up teaching them judgment.
Authoritative parents earn their childrens
respect and teach them how to best deal
with problems and handle different
situations.


2. AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING
Parents Motto: Because I said so.
Childs Motto: My goal in life is to be happy.
* Have rules and regulation to follow
* Listens less. "Rules are rules for a reason,
and they're going to be followed no
matter what."
*When authoritarian parents punish their
kids, they dont explain to the kid why
what they did was wrong, so they never
earn their respect or learn how to
regulate themselves without the
parents help.


* Authoritarian parenting will either produce children that
are overly obedient and proficient, or on the flip end,
children that refuse to acknowledge authority and maybe
even become delinquent.
* authoritarian parenting has been shown to produce
children less happy and with lower self esteem than their
peers.

3. Permissive Parenting
Parents Motto: Treat your children as
your friends.
Childs Motto:Authority? Whats that?
* They have very few rules and any rules
that they DO have are not enforced
properly. They treat their children as
their friends and will cater to them
unconditionally.
.
*The child has no discipline, no sense of right and wrong, and spoiled.
*When these children grow up, they keep their I deserve everything I want
attitude as they mature.
They have simply never had to regulate themselves before, and although
children can grow up and learn these things on their own, its not very likely.
These children are less likely to do well academically, and they may also
become reserved due to not knowing how to act around others
4. Dismissive Parenting
Parents Motto:
Childs Motto: I dont understand whats
happening
* Parents act as a result of outlying problem (eg.
death in the family, substance abuse or
mental health problem)
*Dismissive parents are completely unresponsive
to their children.
*They show no warmth, no guidance, and are
usually preoccupied or absorbed in their own
troubles, leaving the child to fend for himself
emotionally.
* The parents usually provides the basic needs of
the child, but besides that there's not much
else there

* The child either grows up too quickly, needing to take care of himself since the
parent isnt present, or not at all, remaining immature and helpless. They often have
behavioral issues in school, do worse academically, and remain socially and
emotionally isolated
* When they grow up, they are more likely to have severe behavioral and mental
problems. Their want of personal relationships makes them easily manipulated by
others.

How will you define discipline?
What is discipline?
Discipline is the
process of teaching
your child what type of
behavior is acceptable
and what type is not
acceptable.

*Discipline comes from the word
disciple. It really means to teach.


Why discipline?
The true goal of
discipline is to:
teach children the
rules of behavior
and follow them
the need to learn
what society and
other people expect
of their behavior
help them grow up
to be socially
productive and
personally fulfilled
individuals
DISCIPLINE: teach
the how and the
why of acceptable
behavior, but never
at the expense of
their sense of
self-worth and
optimism.

Some discipline techniques:
1. Reward good behaviour
Acknowledging good
behavior is the best way to
encourage your child to
continue it. In other
words, "Catch him being
good." Compliment your
child when he or she
shows the behavior you've
been seeking.

2. Natural consequences
Your child does something
wrong, and you let the child
experience the result of that
behavior. There's no need
for you to "lecture." The
child can't blame you for
what happened. For
example, if a child
deliberately breaks a toy, he
or she no longer has that toy
to play with.

Natural
consequences
can work well
when children
don't seem to
"hear" your
warnings about
the potential
outcome of their
behavior


Be sure, however, that any consequence
they might experience isn't dangerous.

3. Logical consequences
This technique is similar to natural
consequences but involves describing to your
child what the consequences will be for
unacceptable behavior.
The consequence is
directly linked to the
behavior. For example,
you tell your child that
if he doesn't pick up his
toys, then those toys
will be removed for a
week.



4. Taking away privileges
In this case, the consequence for
unacceptable behavior may be
taking away a privilege. For
example, if a middle schooler
doesn't complete her homework
on time, you may choose to take
away television privileges for the
evening. This discipline technique
works best if the privilege is:
Related in some way to the behavior
Something the child values
Taken away as soon as possible after
the inappropriate behavior
(especially for young children)


5. Time outs
Works if you know exactly
what the child did wrong
Or if you need a break from
the child's behavior
Be sure you have a time-out
location established ahead of
time


GUIDELINES TO PARENTS ON
DISCIPLINING CHILDREN

Parent's goals in disciplining should not be
punishment for wrongful actions, but rather
punishment to assist children to control their
behavior.

GUIDELINES TO PARENTS ON
DISCIPLINING CHILDREN

Discipline works best
when tailored to the
individual child and the
specific situation

GUIDELINES TO
PARENTS ON
DISCIPLINING
CHILDREN

Children need
consistent
discipline from
loving parents

GUIDELINES TO PARENTS
ON DISCIPLINING
CHILDREN

* Failure to
discipline
can produce
serious
rebellion
and "acting
out"
behavior
during the
adolescent
period

GUIDELINES TO PARENTS ON
DISCIPLINING CHILDREN

Children
want and
need
structure
and limits

GUIDELINES TO PARENTS ON
DISCIPLINING CHILDREN

* With young children, when parents decide to use
punishment for a given act:
1. Punishment should immediately follow
the act
2. The punishment needs to be both
deserved and understood.
3. The punishment needs to be related to
the act.

GUIDELINES TO
PARENTS ON
DISCIPLINING CHILDREN

Parents should
remain calm
and focus
attention on
the child's
behavior (not
the child
himself or
herself) when
disciplining



GUIDELINES TO PARENTS ON DISCIPLINING CHILDREN
Parents should refrain from venting their own anger at their
child's expense

GUIDELINES TO PARENTS ON DISCIPLINING
CHILDREN

Although spanking is
acceptable and
normative in some
cultures, it should be
carefully evaluated, as
research has shown
negative outcomes
relative to children's
late behavior. The
effectiveness of
spanking must be
viewed within the
cultural context.

Encouraging Good Behavior

Discouraging Bad Behavior

TIPS TO TALKING TO CHILDREN

Pause and listen
Avoid power struggles by
considering your child's
request, even if you know
your answer will probably
be 'No'. If your child says,
'That's not fair,' you might
pause and ask, 'What do
you think would be fair?'
Or say, 'Let me think about
this for a minute'.

TIPS TO TALKING TO CHILDREN

See the situation through your
child's eyes
Imagine how you would feel if
your boss or partner said,
'That's ridiculous', or insisted
you liked something you truly
hate. Kids feel the same way
when parents say, 'You don't
really mean that'. Accept their
statements and probe further
with a specific question like,
'What do you hate most about
school?'

TIPS TO TALKING TO CHILDREN

Let your child express
negative feelings
Try not to judge your child's
feelings, even if they are hard
to take. A few brief words like
'I understand', or 'Uh huh', lets
your child know you care. And
simply being there may be
more important than anything
you say. If needed, discuss your
child's behaviour rather than
criticising her feelings.

TIPS TO TALKING TO CHILDREN

Reflect what you hear
your child say
This helps put your
child's feelings into
words, which she
sometimes can't do
herself. Then, ask a
specific question to get
your child talking.

TIPS TO TALKING TO CHILDREN

Listen to your tone
Sometimes, it's not what
you say - it's how you say
it. Kids often pay more
attention to your face and
your tone of voice than
your words. If you
compare parent-child
communication to singing,
kids often listen more to
their parents' tune (or
tone) than they do to their
lyrics.

TIPS TO TALKING TO CHILDREN

Don't talk about
everything
At times, you simply
need to make a decision
and move on. Talking
further may not help -
but briefly explaining
the reason for your
decision might. Offer
choices only when there
really is a choice.

TIPS TO TALKING TO CHILDREN

Find out what your child
knows before giving your
opinion
If your child asks you a
difficult question (for
instance about sex, death or
politics) you might simply
ask, 'What have you heard?'
This encourages your child to
let you know more about
what she is thinking.

TIPS TO TALKING TO CHILDREN

Solve problems playfully
Three minutes of play can
save you ten minutes of
struggle. A question such
as, 'Would you like to
dress your dolls for
school before you get
dressed?' may inspire
your child to play along.
And it can be a lot more
fun for both of you!

TIPS TO TALKING TO CHILDREN

Pick your battles
Ask yourself if you
really need to fight
about this. Try not to
take your child's
strong feelings
personally, even
when she makes
them sound personal.

TIPS TO TALKING TO CHILDREN

When you lose your cool,
apologise
An apology lets your child
know his feelings matter. It
also gives him a model for
his own behaviour. If you
feel guilty about what you
said, remember that no
parent is perfect. Talk to a
friend and find out how
she would have handled it.

TIPS TO TALKING TO CHILDREN

Keep pace with change
Keep in mind that what
worked yesterday - might
not work today. The
minute you think you have
it figured out, your child
grows up and challenges
you in new ways. Maintain
your sense of humour and
find new ways to talk and
listen.

Parenting Teenagers:

Remember:
* Teenagers will
want more privacy and
more personal space as
he gets older
* Teenagers also
need more
responsibility as they
grow towards young
adulthood
Video on teenage
independence

Remember:
* teenager still needs a
strong relationship
with their parents to
feel safe and secure as
they meets the
challenges of
adolescence
Teenagers need to learn how to make safe and
responsible decisions for themselves, teenagers
need advice, support and monitoring.
* teenager still needs a strong relationship with
their parents

Remember:
* Parents need to stay connected/stay
close. Connecting can be casual or planned.


Communicating
with a Teenager

* Active listening is a way of saying to your child,
Right now, youre the most important thing to me.

Tips for Active
Listening
Stop what youre doing and
give your full attention.
Look at the child while hes
talking to you.
Show interest, and show
that youre trying to
understand.
Listen without interrupting,
judging or correcting.
Concentrate hard on what
the child is saying.

Tricky conversations - Tackling tricky conversations
together is a sign that you and your child have a
healthy relationship.


Here are some tips:
Try to stay calm.
Reassure that you do want
to discuss the issue.
Let the child know youre
happy that he wants to
talk to you.
If you need a bit of time to
gather your thoughts, set
another time.
Actively listen.
Thank your child for
coming to you.