Types of Relationship

CHAPTER 14
ATTACHMENT AND SOCIAL

RELATIONSHIPS

Learning Objectives
How do relationships with others contribute to
development?
How did Bowlby explain the development of
attachment?
In Bowlbys model, how do nature and
nurture contribute to the development of
attachment?
What is the function of peer relationships in
childhood?

Perspectives on Relationships
Attachment Theory
Attachment theory was formulated by British
psychiatrist John Bowlby and elaborated by
American developmental psychologist Mary
Ainsworth
Included concepts from ethological theory and
psychoanalytic theory
Bowlby defined attachment as a strong
affectional tie that binds a person to an intimate
companion
Attachment also is a behavioral system through
which humans regulate their emotional distress
when under threat and achieve security by
seeking proximity to another person
Attachment Theory
The ethological concept of imprinting was
incorporated into attachment theory
An innate form of learning in which the young will
follow and become attached to a moving object
(usually the mother) during a critical period early in
life
According to more recent research,
The critical period is more like a sensitive
period
Imprinting can be reversed
Imprinting does not happen without the right
interplay of biological and environmental
factors
Attachment Theory
Both adults and infants have behaviors that
promote the formation of attachments
Babies will
Follow (proximity-seeking behavior)
Suck and cling
Smile and vocalize
Express negative emotions such as fretting
and crying
Adults respond to infants signals
The hormone oxytocin promotes
attachment
Attachment Theory
Attachment is the product of nature and nurture interacting
over time
Bonding is a more biologically-based process in which
parent and infant form a connection in the first hours after
birth when a mother is likely to be exhilarated and her
newborn highly alert
Klaus and Kennell (1976) highlighted the importance of
early bonding through skin-to-skin contact immediately
after birth
Subsequent research has shown that early contact
is not necessary for a secure attachment to form
(witness adopted parents and their children) and
does not seem to have as much significance for
later development as originally believed
Attachment Theory
Bowlby proposed that through their interactions with
caregivers, infants construct expectations about
relationships in the form of internal working models
Cognitive representations of themselves and other
people that guide the processing of social information
and behavior in relationships
Securely attached infants who have received
responsive care will form internal working models
suggesting that they are lovable and that other
people can be trusted to care for them
Insecurely attached infants subjected to insensitive,
neglectful, or abusive care may conclude that they
are difficult to love, that other people are unreliable,
or both
Peers and the Two Worlds of Childhood
Some theorists believe there are two social worlds of
childhood
One world involves adult-child relationships
The other involves peer relationships
The two worlds contribute differently to development
A peer is a social equal, someone who functions at a similar
level of behavioral complexity, often someone of similar age
Peer relationships have developmental value
Peers help children learn that relationships are reciprocal
Peers force children to hone their social perspective-
taking skills
Peers contribute to social-cognitive and moral
development in ways that parents cannot
NeoFreudian theorist Henry Stack Sullivan believed
that social needs change as we get older and are
gratified through different kinds of social relationships
at different ages
Until about age 6, the parent-child relationship is
central for providing tender care and nurturance
Then peers become increasingly important
At first, children need playmates
Then they need acceptance by the peer group
Then around age 9 to 12, children begin to
need intimacy in the form of a close friendship

Sullivan stressed the developmental significance
of these chumships, or close childhood
friendships
Having a close friend or chum teaches
children to take others perspectives, validates
and supports children, and can protect them
from the otherwise harmful effects of a poor
parent-child relationship or rejection by the
larger peer group
Chumships also teach children how to
participate in emotionally intimate relationships
and can pave the way for romantic
relationships during adolescence
Learning Objectives
In what ways are infants emotional beings?
How are infants emotions socialized and
regulated?

The Infant Early Emotional Development
Researchers have traced the development of primary emotions
At birth, babies show contentment (by smiling), interest (by
staring intently at objects), and distress (by grimacing in
response to pain or discomfort)
By approximately 3 months of age, contentment becomes
joy or excitement at the sight of something familiar such as a
big smile in response to Moms face
Interest becomes surprise, such as when expectations
are violated in games of peek-a-boo
Distress soon evolves into a range of negative emotions,
such as disgust (in response to foul-tasting foods) and
sadness
As early as 4 months, angry expressions appear
As early as 5 months, fear is displayed
The secondary or self-conscious emotions
require an awareness of self and begin to
emerge around 18 months of age
At 18 months, infants begin to show
embarrassment
Around age 2, when they are able to judge
their behavior against standards of
performance, the self-conscious emotions of
pride, shame, and guilt emerge
Feel pride if they catch a ball or feel guilty if
they spill milk

Caption: The emergence of different
emotions. Primary emotions emerge in the
first six months of life, secondary or self-
conscious emotions emerge starting about
18 months to 2 years.

Primary or basic emotions such as interest and fear
seem to be biologically programmed
These emotions emerge in all normal infants at
roughly the same ages and are displayed and
interpreted similarly in all cultures
The timing of their emergence is tied to cognitive
maturation
Basic emotions probably evolved to help our
ancestors appraise and respond to new stimuli
Babies emotional signals prompt caregivers to
respond

Nurture also contributes to emotional
development
Caregivers help shape infants predominant
patterns of emotional expression
Mothers serve as models of positive
emotions and elicit positive emotions from
their babies
Mothers also respond selectively to their
babies expressions: they become
increasingly responsive to their babies
expressions of happiness, interest, and
surprise and less responsive to negative
emotions

At approximately 1year, infants begin to use social
referencing
They monitor their companions emotional reactions in
ambiguous situations and use this information to
decide how they should feel and behave
If their mothers are wary when a stranger
approaches, so are they; if their mothers smile at
the stranger, so may they
Infants are able to understand what triggered their
mothers emotions and to regulate their behavior
accordingly
Infants are especially attentive to stimuli that
provoke negative emotional reactions such as fear
or anger in their caregivers, as if they know that
these emotions are warning signals

Infants must develop strategies for emotional
regulation
The processes involved in initiating, maintaining,
and altering emotional responses
Infants develop the capacity for emotional
regulation over time
Very young infants are able to reduce their
negative arousal by turning from unpleasant
stimuli or by sucking vigorously on a pacifier
By the end of the first year, infants can also
regulate their emotions by rocking themselves,
moving away from upsetting events, or actively
seeking attachment figures who will calm them

By 18 to 24 months, toddlers will try to control the actions
of people and objects (for example, by pushing the
offending person or object away)
They are able to cope with the frustration of
waiting for snacks and gifts by playing with toys
and otherwise distracting themselves
They have been observed knitting their brows or
compressing their lips in an attempt to suppress
their anger or sadness
Finally, as children gain the capacity for symbolic
thought and language, they become able to regulate
their distress symbolically (for example, by repeating
Mommy coming soon)

The development of emotion regulation skills is influenced by
both an infants temperament and a caregivers behavior
When infants are very young and have few emotion regulation
strategies of their own, they rely heavily on caregivers (who
can stroke or rock them when they are distressed)
With age, infants gain control of emotion regulation strategies
first learned in the context of the parent-child relationship and
can regulate their emotions on their own
Children who are not able to get a grip on their negative
emotions tend to experience stormy relationships with both
caregivers and peers and are at risk to develop behavior
problems
Learning Objectives
What types of attachment relationships can
develop between infants and caregivers?
What infant, caregiver, and contextual factors
determine the quality of early attachments?
How do early relationships relate to later
development?
What are the consequences of early social
deprivation?

The Infant An Attachment Forms
The caregiver forms an attachment to the infant
Often before birth
Because the infant possesses a repertoire of
behaviors such as sucking, grasping, rooting,
and smiling
Because babies are responsive
Caregivers and infants develop
synchronized routines in which they take
turns responding to each other
Parent-infant synchrony contributes to a secure
attachment relationship and to later self-
regulation and empathy

The infant forms an attachment to the caregiver in the following
phases
Undiscriminating social responsiveness (birth to 2 or 3
months)
Infants respond to voices, faces, and other stimuli,
especially humans
They do not yet show a clear preference for any one
person
Discriminating social responsiveness (2 or 3 months to 6 or 7
months)
Infants begin to express preferences for familiar
companions, but they are still friendly toward strangers
Active proximity seeking or true attachment (6 or 7 months to
about 3 years)
Infants form their first clear attachments, most often to
their mothers
Goal-corrected partnership (3 years and older)
Children adjust their behavior in order to maintain
proximity to the attachment figure

Infants experience attachment-related fears
Separation anxiety
Once attached to a parent, a baby often becomes
wary or fretful when separated from that parent
Separation anxiety normally appears when infants
are forming their first genuine attachments, peaks
between 14 and 18 months, and gradually becomes
less frequent and less intense
Stranger anxiety
Once attached to a parent, a baby often experiences
a wary or fretful reaction to the approach of an
unfamiliar person
Anxious reactions to strangers become common
between 8 and 10 months, continue through the first
year, and gradually decline in intensity over the
second year

The formation of an attachment to a caregiver
facilitates exploratory behavior
The attachment figure serves as a secure
base for exploration
A point of safety from which an infant can
venture and to which she can return for
affection and security

The Infant Quality of Attachment
Ainsworth and her associates developed the
Strange Situation as a procedure for
measuring the quality of an attachment
Infants are subjected to eight episodes of
gradually escalating stress as adult
strangers approach and as a caregiver
departs and returns
On the basis of an infants pattern of behavior
during the Strange Situation, the quality of
attachment to a parent can be characterized
as one of four types
Secure
Resistant
Avoidant
Disorganized-disoriented
Secure attachment
About 60-65% of 1-year-olds in our society are
securely attached to their mothers or primary
caregivers
The securely attached infant actively explores
the room when alone with his mother because
she serves as a secure base
The infant may be upset by separation but
greets his mother warmly and is comforted by
her presence when she returns
When his mother is present, the securely
attached child is outgoing with a stranger
Resistant attachment (also called anxious/ambivalent
attachment)
About 10% of 1-year-olds show a resistant attachment, an
insecure attachment characterized by anxious, ambivalent
reactions
The resistant infant does not venture off to play even when
his mother is present, probably because she is not a secure
base for exploration
Yet this infant becomes distressed when his mother departs,
perhaps because he is uncertain whether she will return
When his mother returns, the infant is ambivalent: he may try
to remain near her but seems to resent her for having left,
may resist if she tries to make physical contact, and may
even hit and kick her in anger
Resistant infants are also wary of strangers, even when their
mothers are present
Avoidant attachment
Up to 15% of 1-year-olds have avoidant
attachments
They seem uninterested in exploring, show little
apparent distress when separated from their
mothers, and avoid contact or seem indifferent
when their mothers return
Insecurely attached infants are not particularly
wary of strangers but sometimes avoid or ignore
them, much as they avoid or ignore their mothers
Avoidant infants seem to have distanced
themselves from their parents
Disorganized-disoriented attachment
Up to 15% of infants (more in high-risk families) display a
disorganized-disoriented form of attachment
This form of attachment seems to be associated with
later emotional problems
When infants with disorganized-disoriented attachment
are reunited with their mothers after a separation, they
may act dazed and freeze or lie immobilized on the floor
Alternatively, they may seek contact but then abruptly
move away as their mothers approach them, only to
seek contact again
Infants with a disorganized-disoriented attachment
appear to have been unable to devise a consistent
strategy for regulating negative emotions such as
separation anxiety
Early learning theorists believed that an infant
learns positive emotional responses to her mother
by associating her with food
In the classic study conducted by Harry Harlow
and Robert Zimmerman (1959), infant monkeys
were fed by a wire mother or by a cuddly, cloth-
covered mother
All the infant monkeys demonstrated preference
for the foam rubber and terrycloth mother,
even when their food came from the wire
mother
Harlows research demonstrated that contact
comfort is a more powerful contributor to
attachment in monkeys than feeding

Caption: The wire and cloth surrogate
mothers used in Harlows classic research

Styles of parenting strongly influence the
infant attachment styles
Securely attached infants have parents who are
sensitive and responsive to their needs and
emotional signals
infant attachment styles (continued)
Babies with a resistant pattern of attachment often
have parents who are inconsistent in their
caregiving
They may react enthusiastically or indifferently
and are frequently unresponsive
Mothers who are depressed often have
difficulty responding sensitively to their babies
signals and do not provide the comforting that
helps babies regulate their negative emotions
infant attachment styles (continued)
Infants with an avoidant attachment have
parents who tend to provide either too little
or too much stimulation
The parents may be rejecting or
impatient, unresponsive, and resentful
when the infant interferes with their
plans
Some parents may provide intrusive,
overzealous levels of stimulation

Styles of parenting strongly influence the infant
attachment styles (continued)
The disorganized-disoriented style of
attachment is evident in as many as 80% of
infants who have been physically abused or
maltreated
It is common among infants whose mothers are
severely depressed or abuse alcohol and drugs
The parents of infants with a disorganized
attachment pattern have been described as
frightening and frightened
They are fragile and fearful adults who are
not up to the challenge of caring for an infant
and create an unpredictable, scary
environment for their babies
Infants contribute to the formation of the
attachment relationship, too
Infants must acquire some concept of person
permanence (a form of Piagets object
permanence concept) before they can form an
attachment
An infants temperament influences attachment
Attachments tend to be insecure when
infants are by temperament fearful, irritable,
or unresponsive
The caregivers style of parenting and
the infants temperament often interact to
determine the attachment outcome
The broader social context affects how infant and
caregiver respond to each other and influences
the formation of attachment
Poverty and marital difficulties are stressful,
can interfere with parents abilities to provide
sensitive care, and may contribute to insecure
attachments
The cultural context also influences parenting
and the meanings of attachment
In Western, individualistic cultures, such as
Germany, optimal development means
becoming an autonomous being
In Eastern, collectivist cultures, such as
Japan, the goal is to become integrated into
the group

The Infant
Implications of Early Attachment
Some infants experience social deprivation and never
have an opportunity to form an attachment
Researchers have found that infants who spent
their first 6 months or more in deprived orphanages
displayed eating problems and medical problems
and showed delays in physical, cognitive, and
social-emotional development
Rapid recovery was evident once the children
were adopted, and some children overcame
their developmental problems
However, many children institutionalized for
more than 6 months never achieved normal
levels of cognitive development, possibly
because they lacked the intellectual stimulation
necessary for normal brain development

The Infant
Studies of Romanian children who
experienced early deprivation showed that the
longer the deprivation, the less likely were they
to form secure attachments and the more
likely they were to show a disturbed pattern of
behavior called disinhibited attachment
Involves indiscriminate friendliness, lack of
appropriate wariness of strangers, and
difficulty participating in real, reciprocal
social interactions

The Infant
Research supports Bowlbys claim that infancy
is a sensitive period for the formation of
attachments
A meta-analysis of many studies of
institutionalized and otherwise maltreated
and neglected children concluded that those
who are adopted before one year of age are
likely to become as securely attached to
their caregivers as nonadopted children, but
that high rates of insecure and disturbed
attachment are observed in children
adopted after their first birthday
The Infant
What is it about deprived early environments
that damages development?
Lack of stable caregivers and stable
attachment relationships
Lack of proper nutrition, hygiene, and
medical care
Lack of stimulation
The negative effects of living in a large
residential institution can be prevented by
placing institutionalized children in small
groups with a few, consistent caregivers who
interact with the children in a caring manner
The Infant
Many infants experience separation from their
caregivers
Infants who are permanently separated from a
caregiver normally recover if they are able to
maintain or form an attachment with someone
else
The earlier the separation takes place, the
better
Children who experience a series of
separations from caregivers (such as children
in foster care) may be permanently affected by
their repeated experiences of loving and losing
people
The Infant
More than 60% of mothers in the U.S. work
outside the home, and many of their children
are in daycare or family care homes
The best source of evidence about the effects
of alternative care upon attachment is the
major longitudinal study supported by the
National Institute of Child Health and Human
Development (NICHD) and involving teams of
researchers in 10 U.S. cities the Early Child
Care Research Network (ECCRN)
The Infant
Results from the NICHD ECCRN study include the
following
Infants who experienced routine care by
someone other than their mothers were not
much different than infants cared for almost
exclusively by their mothers in the various
developmental outcomes studied
Infants who received alternative forms of care
(even 20+ hours per week) were no less
securely attached to their mothers overall than
infants who were tended by their mothers
Quality of parenting was a much stronger
influence on these infants attachment security
and development than daycare experience
The Infant
following (continued)
Childrens developmental outcomes were
affected by the quality of their daycare, as
measured in terms of sensitive caregiving and
cognitive and language stimulation
Children who spent a good deal of time in
quality daycare performed better than home-
reared children on measures of cognitive
and language skills and some measures of
social skills
However, they also tended to display more
behavior problems
The Infant
Results from the NICHD ECCRN study include
the following (continued)
Quality daycare is characterized by for a
reasonable child-to-caregiver ratio (up to
three infants, four toddlers, or eight
preschoolers per adult); caregivers who
have been well trained and who are warm
and responsive; little staff turnover so that
children can become attached to their
caregivers; and planned, age-appropriate
stimulation activities
The Infant
following (continued)
The home environment interacts with quality of
the daycare environment to influence outcomes
For example, infants fared poorly if their
mothers were insensitive and unresponsive
and they were subjected to poor-quality
daycare, too
Infants who received either good parenting
or good daycare were usually securely
attached
The Infant
Do early attachment experiences make a difference
later in life?
Securely attached infants turn into preschool
children whom teachers describe as curious, self-
directed, and eager to learn
Insecurely attached children are less independent
Children who had been securely attached as
infants are also more socially competent more
able to initiate play activities, sensitive to the needs
and feelings of other children, and popular
Secure attachment in infancy is linked to positive
emotional development and the capacity to cope
with stress and regulate emotions in childhood
The Infant
Are the effects of attachment in infancy
permanent?
Researchers found that children who enjoyed
secure relationships with their parents continue
to be well adjusted in late childhood and
adolescence
In a longitudinal study, Simpson and colleagues
(2007) linked secure attachment in the Strange
Situation at 12 months of age to the quality of a
childs peer relations in elementary school,
which in turn predicted quality of friendships in
adolescence, which in turn predicted the
emotional quality of romantic relationships in
early adulthood
Caption: Simpson et al. (2007) found that
relationship quality at each step in development
affects relationship quality at the next step

The Infant
Are the effects of attachment permanent
(continued)?
Affectionate ties to fathers or other family
members can compensate for insecure mother-
infant relationships
Attachment quality changes, and early
attachments may have no long-term
consequences if they change later if stressful
life events such as divorce and illness convert
secure attachments into insecure ones, or if
positive life changes make insecure
attachments more secure
Internal working models are subject to revision
based on later social experiences
Learning Objectives
What features characterize peer relations and
friendships at different points of the lifespan?
What different types of play evolve during the
first few years of life?
What are the developmental benefits of play?
What factors contribute to peer acceptance
and popularity, or to peer rejection, during
childhood?

The Infant First Peer Relations
Infants show an interest in other babies from
an early age and show capacities for sharing,
cooperation, and sympathy in their first year
Infants begin to interact with peers in earnest
in about the middle of the first year
Smile or babble at their companions,
vocalize, offer toys, and gesture to one
another; may share toys nicely or may
squabble
Can relate meaningfully in groups of three
The Infant First Peer Relations
By about 18 months, infants are able to engage
in simple forms of reciprocal, complementary
play with peers
Can adopt and reverse roles in their play: the
toddler who receives a toy may immediately
offer a toy in return, or the one who has been
the chaser will become the chasee
Toward the end of the second year, infants have
become proficient at turn-taking and reciprocal
exchange, especially if they are securely
attached to their parents
The Child Parent-Child Attachments
According to Bowlby (1969), during childhood, parent-child
attachment becomes a goal-corrected partnership
Parent and child accommodate to each others needs,
and the child becomes a more sensitive partner and
grows more independent of the parent
Young preschool children want separations to be
predictable and controllable
Will negotiate with their parents to make sure that
certain rituals such as the reading of a favorite book
occur before bedtime
During the elementary school years, children continue to
perceive their parents as available to them, and turn to
them when they really need comfort, but rely on their
parents less and less frequently as they get older
The Child Peer Networks
In toddlerhood, about 10% of social
interactions are with peers
In middle childhood, about 30% of social
interactions are with peers
Research indicates that peer groups
typically contain children of different levels
of competence
Gender segregation play with same-sex
companions becomes increasingly strong
with age
The Child Play
Play generally is defined as activities that do
not have an obvious or direct purpose or use
Scholars recognize four types of childrens
play
Locomotor play (games of tag or ball)
Object play (stacking blocks, making
crafts)
Social play (mutual imitation or playing
board games)
Pretend play (enacting roles)
The Child Play
The years from age 2 to age 5 are called the
play years
Between infancy and age 5, play undergoes
two changes
It becomes more social
It becomes more imaginative
The Child Play
According to Parten (1932), from age 2 to age 5,
play becomes increasingly social and socially
skilled
Parten developed a classification system for the
play of preschool children from the least to the
most social
Unoccupied play children stand idly, look around, or
engage in apparently aimless activities such as pacing
Solitary play children play alone, typically with
objects, and appear to be highly involved in what they
are doing
The Child Play
Partens classification system (continued)
Onlooker play children watch others play,
take an active interest, perhaps talk with
the players, but do not directly participate
Parallel play children play next to one
another, do much the same thing, but they
interact little (for example, two girls might
sit near each other in the sandbox but do
not talk)
The Child Play
Partens classification system (continued)
Associative play children interact by
swapping materials, conversing, or following
each others lead, but they are not united by
the same goal (for example, the two girls may
share sandbox toys and comment on each
others sand structures)
Cooperative play children join forces to
achieve a common goal; they act as a pair or
group, dividing their labor and coordinating
their activities in a meaningful way (for
example, the two girls collaborate to make a
sand castle)
The Child
Play Becomes More Imaginative
The first pretend play occurs around age 1
Play in which one actor, object, or action
symbolizes or stands for another
In the earliest pretend play, the infant
performs actions that symbolize familiar
activities such as eating, sleeping, and
washing
Between the ages of 2 and 5, pretend play
increases in frequency and in sophistication

The Child
Play Becomes More Imaginative
Children combine their capacity for social play
and their capacity for pretense to create social
pretend play
Play in which children cooperate with
caregivers or playmates to enact dramas
Social pretend play requires a good deal of
social competence, including the theory-of-
mind or people-reading skills
Social pretend play is universal
The quality and content of preschoolers play
is influenced by their culture (individualistic or
collectivist characteristics)

The Child
Play Becomes More Rule-Governed
After they enter school, children engage less
frequently in pretend play
According to Piaget, when children enter
concrete operations around age 6 or 7, they
become capable of cooperation to follow the
rules of games
As children enter formal operations at the age
of 11 or 12, they have a more flexible concept
of rules and recognize that the rules can be
changed as long as all the players agree

The Child Peer Acceptance and Popularity
Researchers study peer-group acceptance
through sociometric techniques
Methods for determining who is liked and who
is disliked in a group
In a sociometric survey, children in a
classroom may be asked to nominate several
classmates whom they like and several whom
they dislike or to rate all of their classmates in
terms of their desirability as companions
Determining who is liked and who is
disliked allows researchers to classify
children into categories of social status
Using sociometric techniques, children may be
classified into the following categories of social
status
Popular well liked by most and rarely disliked
Rejected rarely liked and often disliked
Neglected neither liked nor disliked (isolated children
who seem to be invisible to their classmates)
Controversial liked by many but also disliked by
many (the fun-loving child with leadership skills who
also bullies peers and starts fights)
Average in the middle on both the liked and disliked
scales
Popularity is affected by personal
characteristics that a child typically cannot
change
Physical attractiveness
Intelligence
Social competence (successful use of
social-cognitive skills in initiating social
interactions, responding positively to peers,
resolving interpersonal conflicts smoothly)
Well-regulated emotions

Rejected children may be characterized by the
following
High levels of aggression
Tendency to social isolation, submissiveness,
over-sensitivity to teasing, seen as easy to
push around
Neglected children may be characterized as
Having reasonably good social skills
Nonaggressive
Tendency to be shy, withdrawn, and
unassertive

Controversial children often show good social
skills and leadership qualities, like popular
children, but they are also viewed as
aggressive bullies, like many rejected
children

What are the outcomes of childhood social
status?
Children who are neglected by peers often
gain greater acceptance later
Socially withdrawn children whose social
anxiety keeps them from interacting with peers
and exposes them to victimization by peers
are at risk for a variety of negative outcomes
Children who are rejected, usually because of
aggressive behavior, are likely to maintain
their rejected status from grade to grade

What are the outcomes of childhood social status
(continued)?
Rejected children may end up even more
poorly adjusted as a result of the experience
of being rejected
Their self-esteem suffers, they lose
opportunities to learn social skills, they
develop negative attitudes toward others,
they are negatively influenced by the other
antisocial children they end up hanging out
with, and their academic performance
suffers

The Child Friendships
Friendships have developmental importance for children
Having friends increases the odds that a child will be
happy and socially competent
If the peers are well adjusted and supportive
Having friends reduces the odds that a child will be
lonely and depressed
But not if the friends are antisocial or depressed
Chumships pave the way for romantic relationships
in adolescence
Friends provide social support and comfort that can
help children weather stressful events such as
parents divorce
True friends become attachment figures

Learning Objectives
How do relationships with peers and parents
change during adolescence?
How do peers and parents influence
adolescents lives?

The Adolescent Attachment to Parents
If adolescents are to become independent,
autonomous individuals, they need supportive
parents to provide both security and
encouragement to explore
A balance of exploration and attachment is
the key to successful development at this
age
The Adolescent Attachment to Parents
Adolescents who enjoy secure attachment
relationships with their parents generally have
a stronger sense of identity, higher self-
esteem, greater social competence, better
emotional adjustment, and fewer behavioral
problems than their less securely attached
peers
The Adolescent Friendships
Friendships change qualitatively with age, being
based upon
Enjoyment of common activities in early childhood
Mutual loyalty and caring in late childhood
Intimacy and self-disclosure in adolescence
Teens form friendships with peers who are similar to
themselves
The same ethnic background
Similar psychological qualities (interests, attitudes,
values, and personalities)
In adolescence, friends are like-minded individuals
who confide in each other

In a study of 5th to 11th graders, Sharabany and
colleagues (1981) found that
Same-sex friendships were reported to feature
aspects of intimacy such as spontaneity, trust,
loyalty, sensitivity to the others feelings, and
attachment
Cross-sex friendships did not attain a high
level of intimacy until 11th grade
These findings support Harry Stack Sullivans
view that the lessons children learn about
intimate attachments in their same-sex
chumships are later applied in their
heterosexual relationships
Sharabany and colleagues (1981) found
that
Girls tended to report higher degrees of
intimacy in their friendships than boys
did
Girls achieved emotional intimacy in
their cross-sex relationships at earlier
ages

The Adolescent Changing Social Networks
Dunphy (1963) described five stages of change in peer-
group structures during adolescence in preparation for
dating relationships
In late childhood, boys and girls become members of
same-sex cliques, or small friendship groups, and
have little to do with the other sex
Boy cliques and girl cliques then begin to interact
Same-sex cliques provide a secure base for
romantic relationships (for an adolescent boy,
talking to a girl at the mall with his friends and her
friends is far less threatening than doing so on his
own)
The most popular boys and girls form a heterosexual
clique

Dunphy (1963) described five stages of change in peer-group
structures during adolescence in preparation for dating
relationships (continued)
As less popular peers also form mixed-sex cliques, a new
peer-group structure, the crowd, completes its evolution
The crowd is a collection of several heterosexual
cliques
The crowd is central to arranging organized social
activities, such as parties, and provides opportunities
to get to know members of the other sex as friends
and as potential romantic partners
Couples form, and the crowd disintegrates in late high
school
The crowd served its purpose of bringing boys and
girls together

Peers typically do more to foster positive
behavior among teens than to encourage
antisocial behavior
But it depends upon the nature of the crowd to
which a teen belongs
Around age 14 or 15, teens are very dependent
upon their peers and may go along with the
crowd to take risks they might not take when
alone
Troublesome conformity to peers is much less
likely among adolescents who have secure
attachments to warm, authoritative parents who
are neither too strict nor too lax

The Adolescent Dating
According to Brown (1999), adolescent relationships evolve
through four phases
Initiation phase in early adolescence, the focus is on the self
To see oneself as a person capable of relating to members
of the other sex in a romantic way
Status phase in mid-adolescence, having a romantic
relationship with the right kind of partner is important for the
status it brings in the larger peer group
Affection phase in late adolescence, the focus is on the
relationship
Romantic relationships become more personal, caring
relationships
Bonding phase in the transition to early adulthood, the
emotional intimacy achieved in the affection phase is connected
to a long-term commitment to create a lasting attachment bond

The Adolescent Dating
How does dating affect adolescent adjustment and development?
Dating typically has more positive than negative effects on
development
It can compensate for a poor relationship with parents
Involvement in a steady relationship is good for self-
esteem (although breakups hurt self-esteem and can lead
to depression)
Adolescents who date tend to be better adjusted overall
than those who do not
However, dating at an early age appears to have more
negative than positive effects on social and emotional
adjustment
Troubled adolescents start dating early
Early daters get hurt and/or become involved in problem
behavior such as drinking and drug use before their time
Learning Objectives
How do social networks and friendships
change during adulthood?
How do these connections affect adult
development?
How do early attachment styles relate to
romantic relationships?

The Adult Social Networks
Researchers have proposed that each of us has
a social convoy a social network and support
system that accompanies us during our life
Provides social support in the form of aid,
affection, and affirmation
In the beginning, our convoy consists of our
parents
The convoy expands over the years as others
(family, partners, colleagues) join it but then
typically shrinks in later life

Social interaction patterns vary across adulthood
Young adults form romantic relationships and
friendships
Young women form closer friendship ties than men
do
Young adults, especially single ones, tend to have
more friends than middle-aged and older adults do
Throughout adulthood, social networks shrink
The trend toward smaller social networks with age
can be seen in many ethnic groups
From early adulthood on, African-American
adults networks tend to be smaller, to be more
dominated by kin, and to involve more frequent
contact than those of European Americans

Older adults are satisfied with their
relationships
Two theoretical explanations
Socioemotional selectivity
Positvity effect

According to Carstensen (1992), the shrinking social
convoy of adulthood is explained by socioemotional
selectivity theory
A choice older adults make to better meet their
emotional needs once they perceive the time left to
them as short
The perception that one has little time left to live
prompts older adults to put less emphasis on the goal
of acquiring knowledge for future use and more
emphasis on the goal of fulfilling current emotional
needs
Consequently, older adults actively choose to
narrow their range of social partners to those who
bring them emotional pleasure, usually family
members and close friends, and they let other social
relationships fall by the wayside

According to research, older adults lead rich and
rewarding emotional lives and are able to
experience and express their emotions fully and
regulate them effectively
Older adults achievement of their emotional
gratification goals may be explained an element
of information processing, the positivity effect
Paying more attention to, better remembering,
and putting more priority on positive
information than on negative information
The Adult Romantic Relationships
Explanations for mate selection
Evolutionary theorists suggest that men are
more likely than women to emphasize physical
attractiveness in a partner, whereas women
put more emphasis then men on a potential
mates resources and social status
Attractiveness may have signaled our
ancestors that a woman is healthy and able
to reproduce and raise children
Signs of wealth, dominance, and status in
the community may signal that a man can
support and protect a wife and children
Explanations for mate selection (continued)
Filter theories suggest that mate selection is a process in
which we progress through a series of filters leading us from
all possible partners to one partner in particular
Early in an acquaintance, similarities in physical
appearance, race, education, socioeconomic status,
religion, and the like serve as the first filters and provides
a basis for dating
At the next level of filter, partners may disclose more
about themselves and look for similarity in inner qualities
such as values, attitudes, beliefs, and personality traits
If they continue to find themselves compatible, their
relationship may survive; if not, it may end
However, scholars do not agree on how many filters there
might be in mate selection
Also, mate selection does not appear to unfold in a stagelike
manner as filter theories suggest
Explanations for mate selection (continued)
According to researchers, the greatest influence
on mate selection is homogamy, or similarity
Once homogamy is assured, people may also
prefer partners who complement them in some
way, bringing strengths to the relationship that
compensate for their own weaknesses
The saying birds of a feather flock together
has far more validity than the saying opposites
attract when it comes to mate selection
Partner choice works similarly in gay and
lesbian relationships as in heterosexual
relationships
Sternberg (1988, 2006) developed the triangular
theory of love to explain different types of love
based upon the strength of the three components
of passion, intimacy, and decision/commitment
Passion sexual attraction, romantic feelings,
and excitement
Intimacy feelings of warmth, caring, closeness,
trust, and respect in the relationship
Decision/commitment involves first deciding
that one loves the other person and then
committing to a long-term relationship
Types of love can result depending on whether
each of the three dimensions of love are high or
low (love can take a variety of forms)
Consummate love high levels of passion,
intimacy, and decision/commitment
Companionate love high intimacy and
commitment but not much passion
Sternbergs work suggests that relationships are
likely to fare best if partners have similar
balances of passion, intimacy, and
decision/commitment
Caption: The three components of love in
Sternbergs triarchic theory of love

Caption: Internal working models of self and
other people arising from early experiences
in relationships

The Adult Attachment Styles
Researchers have used attachment theory and the concept of
the internal working model of relationships to examine adult
romantic relationships
Four attachment styles may result, according to whether the
self is either positive or negative and the view of other
people is either positive or negative
Secure
Preoccupied
Dismissing
Fearful
Attachment styles can also be described in terms of two
dimensions
Anxiety extent of concern about the availability and
responsiveness of partners
Avoidance extent of discomfort being intimate with and
depending on a partner

Adults with a secure working model feel good
about both themselves and others
They are not afraid of entering intimate
relationships or of being abandoned once
they do
People with a preoccupied internal working
model have a positive view of other people
but feel unlovable
Adults with a dismissing style of attachment
have a positive view of self but do not trust
other people and dismiss the importance of
close relationships
Adults with a fearful internal working model
resemble infants with a disorganized-
disoriented attachment
They take a dim view of both themselves
and others and display a confusing,
unpredictable mix of neediness and fear of
closeness

Hazan and Shaver (1987) demonstrated that
adults styles of attachment are related to the
quality of their romantic relationships
Adults with a secure attachment style
experienced a good deal of trust and many
positive emotions in their current love
relationships, and their relationships tended to
last longer than those of adults with insecure
attachment styles
Avoidant lovers feared intimacy
Resistant individuals tended to be obsessed
with their partners
According to research studies, internal working models of
self and other formed on the basis of parent-child
interactions affect the quality of later relationships
Adults who had experienced sensitive maternal care in
infancy had more positive mental representations of
their romantic relationships than did other adults
The quality of the parent-child attachment, especially
after infancy, predicted the quality of an adults
romantic relationship
A secure attachment at 1 year of age was linked, in
turn, to social competence in childhood, close
friendships in adolescence, and an emotionally positive
romantic relationship in early adulthood

Researchers find that adults internal working models also
can predict the quality of relationships
The internal working model predicts the extent to which
adults have the confidence and curiosity to explore and
master their environments
A secure attachment style in adulthood is
associated with strong achievement motivation and
a focus on mastering challenges as opposed to
avoiding failure
Securely attached adults also enjoy their work and
are good at it
Internal working models also affect an adults capacity for
caregiving, particularly for being a sensitive and
responsive parent

Researchers find that adults internal working models
also can predict the quality of relationships
(continued)
Attachment styles have been shown to have a
bearing on adjustment in old age
Older adults who recall loving relationships with
their parents during childhood tend to have
better physical and mental health than those
who recall unsupportive relationships
Attachment styles affect how older adults (and
people of any age) react to loss of an
attachment figure; bereaved people with a
secure attachment style appear to fare best

The Adult Friendships
The quality and nature of friendships varies across
adulthood
Young adults typically have more friends than
older adults do
Even very old adults usually have one or more
close friends and are in frequent contact with their
friends
Men and women generally have similar
expectations of friends, but women tend to place
greater emphasis on these intimate relationships
Friendships can become strained as older adults
begin to develop significant health problems and
disabilities
The quality and nature of friendships varies
across adulthood (continued)
In late life, significant health problems and
disabilities can result in one friend needing
help more than the other
Equity, the balance of contributions and gains, is
an important influence upon satisfaction in
relationships
A person who receives more than he gives is
likely to feel guilty
A person who gives a great deal and receives
little in return may feel angry or resentful
Consistent with equity theory, involvement in
relationships in which the balance of emotional
support given and received is unequal is
associated with lower emotional well-being and
more symptoms of depression than involvement
in more balanced relationships
Overbenefited, or dependent, friends are often
more distressed than underbenefited, or support-
giving, friends
Being able to help other people, or at least to
reciprocate help, tends to boost the self-esteem
and reduce the depressive symptoms of elderly
adults
Men who have a strong desire to be
independent react especially negatively to
receiving help
Older adults usually call on family before
friends when they need substantial help
Friends and family do best to provide help
unobtrusively in order to minimize the
development of the sense of inequity
The Adult Adult Relationships
and Adult Development
Meaningful social relationships foster normal
cognitive, social, and emotional development in
adulthood
A persons sense of well-being or life satisfaction is
affected by the quality rather than the quantity of
her social relationships
Perceived social support is more important than the
social support actually received
The size of an adults social network is not nearly as
important as whether it includes at least one
confidant
A spouse, relative, or friend to whom the individual
feels especially attached and with whom thoughts
and feelings can be shared
The Adult Adult Relationships
and Adult Development
Meaningful social relationships (continued)
Social support, especially from family members,
has positive effects on the cardiovascular,
endocrine, and immune systems, improves the
bodys ability to cope with stress and illness, and
contributes to better physical and cognitive
functioning and a longer life, especially in old age
Research by Cacioppo and others (2008)
concluded that humans have evolved to be with
other people and that isolation and loneliness
wear the body down, affecting genes, stress
hormones, and the brain in ways that speed the
aging process

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CHAPTER 14

ATTACHMENT AND SOCIAL

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