Spirit Led Family

Groups
(DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE)
Bangkok Christian Church Leadership Training Class 1

Romans 12

Author:
Dr. Rick Brinkman Cesar Lopez
Dr. Rick Kirschner

Bible Gives the Answer
What Does The Bible Say About Dealing With
Difficult People?
What should our motive be when dealing with
anyone?
What quality is needed when dealing with
difficult people?
How do you deal with anyone who needs to
be always right? Take advantage? Angry?
What is the key to living in peace with
difficult people?

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner are
professional speakers.
Co authors of the bestselling audio-video
tapes and book How to Deal with Difficult
People and the best selling book Dealing with
People You Cant Stand.
They have shared their insights with
audiences worldwide through their company
R & R Productions.

Dr. R Brinkman Dr. R Kirschner
ABOUT THE BOOK
Identify ten bothersome behaviors
Deal successfully with each of them
Understand the thought and fears of difficult
people
An understanding of whom we are
dealing with and what motivates them
Turn conflict into cooperation and opportunity
DEALING WITH DIFFICULT
PEOPLE
THE TANK
THE KNOW IT ALL
THE WHINER
THE SNIPER
THE THINK
THEY KNOW IT
ALL
THE MAYBE PERSON
THE GRENADE
THE YES PERSON
THE NOTHING PERSON
THE NO PERSON
CHOOSE YOUR APPROACH
1. Stay and do nothing
2. Vote with your feet
3. Change your attitude
4. Change your behavior
UNDERSTAND THE FOUR
INTENTS
Four general intents that determine
how people will react in any situation:
Get the task done.
Get the task right.
Get along with people.
Get appreciation from people.
UNDERSTAND THE FOUR INTENT


GET IT DONE
THE TANK
THE SNIPER
THE KNOW IT ALL

GET ALONG
THE NOTHING PERSON
THE YES PERSON
THE MAYBE PERSON

GET IT RIGHT
THE WHINER
THE NO PERSON
THE NOTHING PERSON

GET APPRECIATED
THE GRENADE
THE FRIENDLY SNIPER
THE THINK THEY KNOW IT - ALL

RECOGNIZE THE RESULTS
OF THREATENED INTENTS
PEACE ZONE
TASK FOCUS
PEOPLE FOCUS
GET IT
DONE
GET IT
RIGHT
GET
ALONG
GET
APPRECIATED
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
PERFECTIONIST CONTROLLING
APPROVAL SEEKING ATTENTION GETTING
THE TANK
1. Stand your ground
3. Interrupt
4. Dont defend, explain, or justify
5. Aim at a Bottom Line
6. Peace with Honor
THE SNIPER
1. Stop, Look, & Backtrack
2. Ask the Relevancy question
3. Distinguish between friendly sniper &
malicious sniper
4. If he/she will talk -- LISTEN!
5. Suggest a friendly future
Dont overreact
THE KNOW-IT-ALL
1. Be prepared and know your stuff
2. Dont resent the Know It - All
3. Present views politely
5. Acknowledge his/her competence
THE THINK THEY KNOW IT ALL
1. Give them a little attention
2. Ask for specifics
3. State facts as you know them
4. Provide a way out
5. Handle alone whenever possible
THE WHINER
1. Listen
2. Prepare to interrupt get specific
3. Acknowledge the complaint
4. Dont ask Whiners why theyre complaining
5. Use limiting responses
6. Move to problem solving
THE MAYBE PERSON
1. Help them voice concerns
2. Provide face-to-face support when possible
3. Use a decision making process
4. Re assure and follow through
THE YES PERSON
Make the Yes Person comfortable
Talk Honestly
Help them learn to plan
Ensure commitment
THE NOTHING PERSON
Plan enough time
Lighten it up
Avoid getting angry
Show the future
THE GRENADE
Get the attention
Show your concerns
Reduce intensity
Avoid setting off the Grenade
THE NO PERSON
Go with the flow
Use them as a resource
Give them time to think
Appreciate the NO person
CONCLUSION

Even if we cant change difficult people, we
can communicate with them in such a way
that they change themselves. Its a matter of
knowing how to get through to them when
theyre behaving badly.