TheIntrovert

Advantage

Lawyers Assistance Program

Facilitated by Robert Bircher

TheIntrovertAdvantage
Thisworkshopisbasedonthebookby
MartiOlsenLaneypublishedin2002by
WorkmanPublishing
Fewpeopleareextremeintrovertsor
extremeintroverts,mostofusare
somewhereclosetothemiddleofa
continuum
Alsothesearepersonalitytemperaments
andpeoplecananddobouncearoundin
betweenthemalthoughthetestswillshow
yourparticulartendency
Thepurposeofthisworkshopistoincrease
selfacceptanceofyourintroversionor
extroversion,nottochangeanything

Thereisnothingwrongwith
youyourejustintroverted
ofthegeneralpopulationisextroverted,
whereas2/3oflawyersareintroverted
Everwonderwhyyoufeeloverwhelmed
insituationswhereothersfeelinvigorated?
Twoofmybestfriendsarevery
extrovertedandsinceIamveryintroverted
thecontrastinsomesituationsis
remarkable
Onefriendabsolutelylovescrowdsthe
largerandnoisierthebetterheandIgoto
thePNEandIcanonlyhandleitforabout
anhourandahalf,hegetsmoreenergized
thelongerwestay.Ifwestaytoolong,I
needtorecoverbybeinginaquietplace!

Ourculturevaluesand
rewardsextroverts
InNorthAmericawevalueaction,speed,
competitionanddrive.
Quietness,reflectionandsolitudearenot
valued
Somepeopleeventhinkintroversionis
somekindofaproblemtobeovercome
somestudiesevenclaimtosayextroverts
arehappier!Theyarebasedonthe
ridiculousassumptionthatthe
characteristicsofextrovertsaretheright
waytobe.Thisispurenonsense!
Becausemostpeopleareextroverts,thereis
alwayspressuretoshapeupandactlikethe
restofusthisstartsevenassmallchildren

IntroversionisGreat
Itistimetostoptryingtofitinandstart
embracingwhoyouare
Introversionandextroversionarepartof
acontinuumoftemperamentstylesfew
peopleareattheextremeendsofeither
styleanditimportanttoknowthatyou
canjumpbackandforthtotheotherstyle
Iamintrovertedbutoftencalleduponto
doextrovertedthingsliketeaching,
whichIdooftenandhavehadgreat
successwith
Agoodwaytolookatitistoimaginean
energyscalewithintroversionand
extroversionatoppositeends

Howdoyouget
energized?
Peoplewhoaremoreintrovertedfocusinward
togainenergy,extrovertsfocusoutwardtogain
energy
Thisfundamentaldifferenceexplainsthe
differencesinbehavior
Introvertsneedtobealonetorechargeandneed
breaksfromtoomuchactivity
Introvertedparentswillneedmorebreaksfrom
theirchildren,andmorealonetimefromtheir
spouses.
Theworldisgearedtowardsextrovertsandso
aremanyoftheworldsexpectationsofwhat
lawyersshouldbelikeifyouareanintrovertin
anextrovertworldyoumayfeeloutofplace
Actuallythereisnoproblematallbeing
introvertedisjustfine!

QualitiesofExtroverts
Liketobeinthethickofthings
Relishvariety,boredwithsameness
Knowlotsofpeople,considerthem
friends
Enjoychitchatting,evenwith
strangers
Feelstokedafteractivity,eagerfor
more
Speakoractwithoutneedingtothink
first
Aregenerallyquitepeppy
Tendtotalkmorethanlisten

QualitiesofIntroverts
Prefertorelaxaloneorwithafewclose
friends
Consideronlydeeprelationshipsasfriends
Needrestafteroutsideactivities,even
onesyouenjoy
Oftenlistenbuttalkalotabouttopicsof
importancetoyou
Appearcalm,selfcontained,andliketo
observe
Tendtothinkbeforeyouspeakoract
Experiencemindgoingblankingroupsor
underpressure
Don'tlikefeelingrushed

Misconceptionsabout
Introverts
Introvertsneedprivatespacetorefuel,donot
gainenergyfromexternalactivities,andtake
timetoreflectandthinkbeforetheyspeak
Theyarenotloners,shyorantisocialthisisa
misconception
Theyarenotreclusiveorretiringmany
publicpersonalitiesareintroverts
Shynessissocialanxietyandcanoccurin
bothintrovertsandextrovert
HighlySensitiveisusuallyacriticismina
lawfirmbutinfactmeansapersonis
extremelyperceptive,intuitive,observant
withafinesenseofdiscriminationthiscan
occurinbothintrovertsandextroverts

MoreMisconceptions
Introvertsmayseemunsocialto
extroverts,butareinfactsocialina
differentway
Introvertsneedfewerrelationships,but
likemoreconnectionandintimacy.
Extrovertsneedmoreexternal
stimulationsincetheydontgenerateas
muchinternalstimulationasintrovertsdo
Introvertsdontgenerallylikeidlechit
chat,andsinceittakesalotofenergy,
theyprefermoremeatyconversations
whichnourishandenergizethem
Extrovertsgetastimulationhitfrom
socialsourcesandactivities

Introvertsunsettle
Extroverts
Thequalitiesofextrovertsareacultural
idealboldness,individualityand
willingnesstospeakoutarehighlyvalued
Introvertstendto:
Keepenergyinside;beabsorbedin
thought;hesitatebeforespeaking;avoid
crowdsandseekquiet;proceedwith
cautionwhenmeetingpeople;notoffer
ideasunlessasked,needsignificanttime
aloneorundisturbed,reflectandactina
carefulway;tendnottoshowemotion
Extrovertsmayseesomeorallofthisas
weirdorevenbelieveitisevidenceof
mentalillness!

Problemsin
UnderstandingEachOther
Extrovertstalkandthinkatthesametimeit
iseffortlesstothem
Introvertsneedtimetothinkanddontspeak
withspontaneityunlessitisafamiliarsubject
Introvertsappearcautiousorpassiveto
extroverts
Toanextrovert,introvertsseemreticentand
seemtobehidingorhesitating.Anextrovert
thinksjustspititout!
Introvertswillspeakoutalotiftheyfeelthey
knowalotaboutthesubject
Toanintrovertanextroverttalkswithout
thinkingorspeakswithgreatauthorityon
subjectstheyknowalmostnothingabout

CultureandIntroversion
Ourlanguageshowsourculturalbiastowards
extroversionbeingtherightwaytobe
Forexample;theInternationalDictionaryof
Psychologystatesthatintroversionis"a
majorpersonalitytraitcharacterizedbya
preoccupationwiththeself,lackof
sociabilityandpassivenessOther
definitionsaresimilar
Thesamedictionarydefinesextroversionas
atendencytodirectthepersonalityoutward,
theextrovertissocial,amanofaction,and
onewhosemotivesareconditionedby
externalevents
Theimplicationisclearthereissomething
wrongwithbeingintroverted

IntrovertsandExtroverts
Introvertstendtospeakslowlyandarereluctantto
speakwithextroverts
Introvertsdislikeinterrupting,sotheyoftenhold
back
Introvertsgivenohintofmentalprocessesandthus
mayappeartobepassiveoruninterestedinfact
theyareusuallyjustthinkingaboutwhatpeopleare
saying
Extrovertscanastonishintrovertswiththeirability
totalkwithapparentauthorityonalmostanytopica
friendofmine(ahairdresser,whodroppedouthigh
school,oncetalkedtoagroupofheartsurgeonsata
socialevent,withrocksolidconvictionand
authority,aboutherviewsonholisticwaystodeal
withheartproblemshermainsourcewasacouple
ofmagazinearticlesintheNationalEnquirer
amazingly,theylistened!)Iwasshocked

IntrovertsandExtroverts
Itdrivesextrovertscrazywhenintroverts
suggesttheystopreactingandreflectingbefore
bargingahead.Theywantthemtoslowdown,
plan,thinkaboutconsequences,andthinkit
throughbeforeacting.Extrovertsjustwantto
getitdone,fast
Inaworlddominatedbyextroverts,most
introvertedchildrengrowupreceivingthe
messageovertlyandcovertlythatsomethingis
wrongwiththem.Fewpeoplegrewupwith
familieswhoacceptedandnurturedintroverted
qualities
Theculturepromotesextroversionasanideal,
evenconvincingintrovertsthemselvesthat
theynotonlyhaveaproblem,theyarea
problem!

Blame,Shameand
Introversion
Becauseofthefactthatthatextroversionis
heldtobenormal,introvertscanexperience
guiltorshameforjustbeingintroverted.ie
Themselves!
Shameisrelatedtoourbeing,wemayfeel
unworthyorinnatelyflawed.Guiltisthe
feelingofhavingdonesomethingwrong
Themoreintrovertedyouarethemorelikely
youaretohaveencounteredshameandguilt
aboutwhoyouare
Youcancounteractthisbyselfacceptance;
realizingthereisnoproblem,alsobysetting
toughboundariesinsituationsorwithpeople.
Forexamplesafeguardingyouralonetimein
relationshipsorsayingnotoexcessiveexternal
stimulation

LawyersandIntroversion
AsacounseloroflawyersIhavecome
acrossmanysituationswherelawyersthink
thereissomethingwrongwiththembecause
theydon'tlikemarketingorschmoozing
withclientsortheyhaveaproblem
promotingthemselves
Manylawyersalsohaveproblemswithcourt
appearancesormediascrums
Manylawyersfeeltheyshouldntfeel
sensitiveorshy
Manylawyersaretoldtheyneedtotoughen
up
Whenyouunderstandintroversionandthe
pathologizingofitthisshouldshouldbeno
surprise

LawyersandIntroversion
Lawyersthatcriticizethemselvesfor
theirintrovertedqualitiesarecommon
Introversionisatypeoftemperament.
Itisnotthesameasshynessorhaving
awithdrawnpersonality(bothofwhich
aretreatable,andmaybecausedby
poorparenting)
Yourintroversionisnotsomethingyou
canchange,butsinceitisnota
probleminthefirstplace,thatisok.
Thetrickistoworkwithitnotmakea
problemoutofit.

AnIntrovertinan
ExtrovertWorld
Therearemanyadvantagestobeingan
introvertedlawyer.
Mostlawyersareintroverts.60%of
intellectuallygiftedpeopleareintroverts.Law
requiresalotofquietresearch,focusand
reflectiontheseareintrovertstrengths.
Theproblemis;onethirdofyourfellow
lawyersareextrovertsandmostofyourclients
willbesoyouneedtounderstandyourselfand
themtogetalongandtominimizeproblems
Introvertsliketokeeptothemselves.
Extrovertslovetomeetandgreet,theyareon
topofthefirmgrapevineandlovesocializing.
Theyarenaturalselfpromotersand
networkers.Obviouslythisisveryuseful

IntrovertsatWork

Likequietforconcentration
Knowmorethantheyreveal
Canseemquietandaloof
Willneedtobeaskedfortheiropinion
Liketoworkonlongcomplexproblems
Havegreatattentiontodetail
Needtounderstandwhytheyaredoing
something
Dislikeintrusionsandinterruptions
Needtothinkandreflectbeforeacting
Workalonehappily
Prefertostayinofficeratherthansocialize
Donotliketodrawattentiontothemselves
Workwellwithoutsupervision
Havetroublerememberingnames

IntrovertAdvantagesin
Law
Thereisareasonmostlawyersareintroverts
Quiet,focused,deepthinkingisarequiredskillin
law
Goingintogreatdepthinmattersisveryvaluable
Lawyersneedtoknowalotaboutaspecificissue
andgetuptospeedindepth
Generally,marketingandsaleshavenotbeenas
importantasgreatcompetenceinlaw
Thewayyoumakemoneyinlawisnotbytryingor
doingnewthingsyoumakemoneybydoing
essentiallythesamethingoverandover;quicklyand
efficiently
Youmaylosemoneyinyourfirst
PI/criminal/commercialdeal/matrimonialcasebut
youwillmakemoneyonyour20thcase
Quietrepetitionandfocusishowyoumakemoney
inlawcoreintrovertskills

ExtrovertsatWork
Networkandsocializeeasily
Areontopoffirmgrapevine
Enjoyphonecallsandlikeinterruptions
asawelcomediversion
Areimpatientifworkisboringor
repetitive
Developideasthroughinteractionand
discussion
Goodatmarketing
Liketomovearoundalot
Talkandthinkatthesametime
Likeverbaljousting
Appreciateandenjoyattention

NewsFlash:Introverts
candoExtrovertThings!
Asyoucansee,someofthethings
extrovertsdoarenecessaryforsuccessin
lawbecauseitisnotnaturaldoesntmean
youcantdoitorthatyoushouldn'tdoit
Introversionisnotaproblemto
overcome,butyoucanandmustdosome
ofthethingsextrovertsfind
easy(extrovertshavetheirownsetof
problemstoovercome)
Youwillneedtospeakupandspeakout
atmeetings
Youneedtolearntoblowyourownhorn
Youneedtodothingsfaster

IntrovertsandMeetings
Introvertstendnottospeakupmuchat
meetingsforvariousreasonstheyspend
alotofenergylistening;theygetdeepin
thoughtaboutwhatisbeingsaid,they
areabsorbingnewinformationandneed
timetoprocessit
Fakeittillyoumakeitintrovertideas
sayhellotopeopleasyouentergoodbye
whenyouleave,don'tscheduletoo
manymeetingsinaday,saysomething
earlyontoestablishapresence.
WhenteachingIoverpreparesoIcan
relaxduringtheclass

IntrovertsandSelf
Promotion
Mostlawyers,eventheextroverts,dont
promotethemselves.Introvertedlawyersare
particularlybadatthis
Introvertsguardtheirownpersonalthoughts
likeajunkyarddog.Promotingviolatesthis
innerterritory
Introvertsunderestimatewhattheyknow.
theytaketheirrichemotional,intellectual
andimaginativelivesforgranted.Theyoften
believenoonewouldbeinterestedinwhat
theyknow
Theyalsodislikebeingthecenterof
attention
Thiscanappearremoteoruncooperativeto
extroverts

IntrovertsUnitePromote
Yourself!!!
Letothersknowwhatyouare
doingdontassumethey(the
extroverts)knowyourcontribution
Letyourbossknowwhatworkor
projectsyouprefer
Acceptcomplimentsand
acknowledgeyourself
complimentothers

SlowDownYoumove
TooFast
Introvertsmoveataslowerpacethan
extrovertsthiscanappearalooforuninterested
toextroverts
Introvertsneedtoconserveenergyortheywill
feelexhaustedandburntouttheyneedalotof
timetoprocess
Extrovertscanseethisasbeinguninvolvedor
evenincompetent
Introvertsspeakslowlyandtakepauses,
becausetheyaredeepthinkersandtheyvalue
beingprecisethisdrivesextrovertsnuts
Introvertsdonttendtosharetheirthinking
processwhichcausesmisunderstandings.Also,
theyvaluetheopinionsofothersbutthis
opennesstootherpointsofviewcanappearto
bealackofconviction

IntrovertAdvantages
Whatdointrovertsbringtotheparty?
60%ofallgiftedpeopleareintroverts,
despitebeingaminorityofthepopulation
Introvertsbring
concentration,loyalty,thoughtfulness,persist
ence,toughmindedness,creativity,originality
,forsight,andawiderangeofknowledge
Introvertsgoabouttheirdayquietly
improvingtheworkplace
Theycanmaketoughdecisionsandgive
coworkerstheirspacetheydontneedclose
supervision
Theyareconsiderateandwantcooperation
Theyaregoodteachersandgoodlisteners