EMOTIONAL

INTELLIGENCE
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OBJECTIVES
To understand emotional intelligence and how it relates

to personal and organizational success.

To apply EQ tools to increase personal skills: self

-awareness and self -management of personal emotions.

To apply EQ tools to increase social skills: recognizing the

emotions in others and responding to those emotions.

To understand strategies for promoting EI

To discuss the EI competencies framework

FOOD FOR THOUGHT!

If you can not be a pencil to write anyone's happiness,

try at least to be a nice rubber to erase everyone's

sorrows

We hire people for technical reasons and fire them for

behavioral reasons.

INTRODUCTION
There is more to the workplace than the business itself.
An employees makeup, emotions and ability to manage them,
level of Emotional Intelligence and communication skills are all a
part of whether or not a business is successful.
Understanding ones emotions and learning how to use them is
the responsibility of each person.
Deciding which style is best can be done by weighing the pros
and cons of each as well as which would result in the most
positive outcome.
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INTRODUCTION
Physiological side: Emotion is a complex state of human

mind, involving bodily changes of widespread character

such as breathing, pounding heart, flushed face,
sweating palms, pulse rate, gland secretions, etc.

Psychological side, a state of excitement or perturbation

marked by strong feelings

OUR THOUGHTS AND EI

Watch your thoughts; They become your words.
Watch your words; They become your actions.
Watch your actions; They become your habits.
Watch your habits; They become your character.
Watch your character for it will become your destiny.

PRECONSCIOUS THOUGHTS
(SEYMOUR EPSTEIN, 1998)
Event
Mary did not
say Hello

Destructive Sequence
Thought
Mary is a
snob

Secondary Mental Reaction

Mary thinks shes better than me
Ill show her what that feels like!

Emotion
Anger

Behavior
Develops antagonistic
relationship with Mary

Emotion
Increase in
anger

PRECONSCIOUS THOUGHTS
(SEYMOUR EPSTEIN, 1998)
Emotion
Sympathy
Warmth

Emotion
Puzzlement

Thought
Mary is
Preoccupied
Event
Mary did not
say Hello

Secondary Mental Reaction

Maybe somethings
bothering Mary

Behavior
Maintains friendly, rewarding
relationship with Mary

Constructive Sequence
Destructive Sequence

Thought
Mary is a
snob

Secondary Mental Reaction

Mary thinks shes better than me
Ill show her what that feels like!

Emotion
Anger

Behavior
Develops antagonistic
relationship with Mary
Emotion
Increase in
anger
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INTELLIGENCE

"An intelligence is the ability to solve problems, or to

create products, that are valued within one or more
cultural settings (Gardner, 1983/2003,)

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
PIONEERS
The origins of EI are both historical and biological
HISTORICAL ORIGIN
Darwin - emotional expression has evolved across species -

implies that emotion and the capacity to read it is universal

across human beings and related mammals.
1920- Thorndike - social intelligence
1983- Howard Gardner- intra and interpersonal intelligence
1985- Wayne Payne first to use the term EI
1990 Salovey and Mayer
1995 - Daniel Goleman

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BIOLOGICAL ORIGIN
The Neocortex (the thinking brain) empowers us with the

ability to form an opinion, take a decision and gauge how

we are feeling

When the amygdala is not allowed to function we

experience Emotional Hijacking

When the amygdala, the pre-frontal lobe and the

Neocortex interact properly, EI rises as well as

intellectual ability

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BIOLOGICAL ORIGIN

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DEFINITION OF EMOTIONAL
QUOTIENT (EQ)
J Mayer And P Salovey
EI is the ability to perceive emotions to access and
generate emotions. So as to assist thought, to
understand emotional knowledge, and to regulate
emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual
growth.

Daniel Goleman

EI is the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and

those of others, for motivating ourselves and for
managing emotions well in ourselves and in our
relationship.

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WHAT IS EQ (EMOTIONAL
QUOTIENT)?
Micro-perspective: EQ is an ability to perceive
emotions in oneself and others, to facilitate
thought, to understand and manage emotions.
(Salovey et al.)
Macro-perspective:
- An organizational ability to intelligently
handle matters with empathy.

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EQ & IQ

EQ IQ
Emotional
Experiential

Cognitive
Academic

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TOO MUCH WORK COMBINED WITH

NEGATIVE EMOTIONS LOWERS YOUR
PERFORMANCE.
Managing Emotions Improves Performance

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Challenge Level
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Cognitive
Mind

Emotional
Mind

EI
Appropriate
Behavior
Emotional intelligence is the ability to think constructively and act
wisely!
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CHARACTERISTICS OF A
HIGH EQ PERSON
A time to wait and a time to watch
A time to be aggressive and a time to be passive
A time to be together and a time to be alone
A time to fight and a time to love
A time to work and a time to play
A time to cry and a time to laugh
A time to confront and a time to withdraw
A time to speak and a time to be silent
A time to be patient and a time to decide.
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CHARACTERISTICS OF A
LOW EQ PERSON
If only I had a different job
If only I had finished graduation
If only I had been handsome/beautiful
If only my spouse had stopped drinking
If only I had been born rich and famous
If only I had good contacts
If only I had better friends
If only I had married someone else

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IMPORTANCE OF
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
General Happiness: EI leads to general happiness.
High EQ
Motivation
Satisfaction
Fulfillment
Happiness

Low EQ
Frustration
Disappointment
Resentment
Sorrow

Thus high EQ generates positive feeling which results into

general happiness. And low EQ generates negative feeling
which results into general unhappiness.
EQ IS THE MEASURING UNIT OF EMOTIONS
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EI AND THE HALF FULL

GLASS!

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IMPORTANCE OF EQ OR EI

EQ is the distinguishing factor

that determines if we make
lemonade when life hands us
lemons or spend our life stuck in
bitterness
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TWO VIEW POINTS ABOUT

EQ OR EI
Traditionalists
say that emotions

High performers
say that emotions

Distract us
Increase our
vulnerability
Cloud our judgment
Inhibit free flow of
data
Must be controlled

Motivate us
Increase our
confidence
Speed our analysis
Build trust
Provide vital feedback
Must be managed

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EMOTIONAL BANK
ACCOUNT
DEPOSITS

WITHDRAWALS

Seek First to Understand

Seek First to Be Understood

Keeping Promises

Breaking Promises

Honesty, Openness

Smooth Manipulation

Courtesies

Discourtesies

Win-Win or No Deal Thinking

Clarifying Expectations
Loyalty to the Absent
Apologies
Receiving Feedback and

Giving I Messages

Win-Lose or Lose-Win Thinking

Violating Expectations
Disloyalty, Duplicity
Pride, Conceit, Arrogance
Not Receiving Feedback and

Giving You Messages

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Regulation Recognition

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
THE CONCEPTUAL MODEL
Self

Others

SelfAwareness

Social
Awareness

SelfRelationship
Managemen Managemen
t
t
Positive impact
on others
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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
COMPETENCIES FRAMEWORK
Self-Awareness

Emotional self-awareness
Accurate self-assessment
Self-confidence

Social Awareness

Self-Management

Self-control
Transparency
Adaptability
Achievement
Initiative
Optimism

Empathy
Organizational awareness
Service

Relationship Management
Influence
Inspirational leadership
Developing others
Change catalyst
Conflict management
Teamwork and collaboration
Building bonds
Communication

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USE OF EQ OR EI AT
WORKPLACE
It is EQ that will:
Solve our retention & morale problems
Improve our creativity
Create synergy from teamwork
Speed our information by way of sophisticated people

networks
Drive our purpose; and
Ignite the best and most inspired performance from our
followers.

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WHY USE EQ IN THE

WORKPLACE
The workplace & workplace culture is changing.
Today the emphasis is more on people-focused style of

leadership.

Today employees are motivated by the relationship they

have in their workplace & EI seems like a logical

framework to help build these relationships.

Emotions influence all aspect of our lives.

Its impossible to separate them from work.
They play a large role in how others perceive us through

our tone of voice, facial expressions and body language.

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NEGATIVE WORKPLACE
EMOTIONS
Negative emotions can lead to negative workplace

behaviours:

Production (leaving early, intentionally working slowly)

Property (stealing, sabotage)
Political (gossiping, blaming co-workers)
Personal aggression (sexual harassment, verbal abuse)

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WHAT IS GROUP
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?
The ability of a team to generate operating

norms that increase awareness of emotion and

management of behavior in ways that have
positive emotional consequences

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GROUP EI MODEL
3 Levels
Individual

6 Dimensions

9 Norms

Group awareness of
members

Interpersonal understanding

Group management of
members

Confronting members who break

norms
Caring behavior

Group

Group self-awareness

Team self-evaluation

Group selfmanagement

Creating resources for working with

emotion
Creating an optimistic environment
Proactive problem solving

Crossboundary
(External)

Group social
awareness

Organizational understanding

Group social skills

Building external relationships

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EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT
ORGANIZATIONS
The emotionally intelligent work group or organization has
a culture that exhibits:
Organizational Self- Awareness of its internal and external

needs;
Management of Organizational Emotions through leadership,
celebration and environment;
Organizational Motivation through meaningful work and the
delivery of incentives;
Organizational Empathy by maintaining effective and
meaningful relationships with consumers and employees;
Mentoring of Organizational Social Skills through training,
productive personnel selection practices, and performance
appraisal.
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NINE STRATEGIES FOR

PROMOTING EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
1.

Taking the time for mindfulness

2.

Recognizing and naming emotions

3.

Understanding the causes of feelings

4.

Differentiating between emotions and the need to take

action

5.

Preventing depression through learned optimism

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NINE STRATEGIES FOR

PROMOTING EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
6.

Managing anger through learned behavior or

distraction techniques

7.

Listening for the lessons of feelings

8.

Using gut feelings in decision making

9.

Developing listening skills

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THE TEN HABITS OF

EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT
PEOPLE
1. Label their feelings,
rather than labeling
people or situations.

"I feel impatient." vs "This is ridiculous."

"I feel hurt and bitter". vs. "You are an insensitive jerk."
"I feel afraid." vs. "You are driving like a idiot."

2. Distinguish between
thoughts and feelings.

Thoughts: I feel like...& I feel as if.... & I feel that

Feelings: I feel: (feeling word)

3. Take responsibility for

"I feel jealous." vs. "You are making me jealous."
their feelings.
4. Use their feelings to
help them make
decisions.

"How will I feel if I do this?" "How will I feel if I don't"

5. Show respect for

They ask "How will you feel if I do this?" "How will you
other people's feelings. feel if I don't."
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THE TEN HABITS OF

EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT
PEOPLE
6. Feel energized, not angry.

They use what others call "anger" to help them

feel energized to take productive action.

7. Validate other people's

feelings.

They show empathy, understanding, and

acceptance of other people's feelings.

They ask themselves: "How do I feel?" and "What

8. Practice getting a positive
would help me feel better?"
value from their negative
They ask others "How do you feel?" and "What
emotions.
would help you feel better?"
9. Don't advise, command,
control, criticize, judge or
lecture to others.

They realize it doesn't feel good to be on the

receiving end of such behavior, so they avoid it.

10. Avoid people who

invalidate them, or don't
respect their feelings.

As much as possible, they choose to associate

only with other people with high EQ.
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EI AND LEADERSHIP STYLE

Leadership
Style

EI Competencies

Impact On
Climate

Objective

When Appropriate

Coercive

Drive to achieve;
initiative, emotional
self-control

Strongly
negative

Immediate
compliance

In a crisis, to kick-start a
turnaround, or with problem
employees.

Visionary

Self-confidence;
empathy; change
catalyst

Most
strongly
positive

Mobilize others to
follow a vision

When change requires a new

vision, or when a clear
direction is needed.

Affiliative

Empathy, building
bonds; conflict
management

Highly
positive

Create harmony

To heal rifts in a team or to

motivate during stressful
times.

Democratic

Collaboration; team
leadership;
communication

Highly
positive

Build commitment
through
participation.

To build buy-in or consensus,

or to get valuable input from
employee

Pacesetting

Conscientiousness;
drive to achieve;
initiative

Highly
negative

Perform tasks to a
high standard.

To get quick results from a

highly motivated and
competent team.

Coaching

Developing others;
empathy; emotional
self-awareness

Highly
positive

Build strengths for

the future.

To help an employee improve

performance or develop longterm strengths.
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CONCLUSION
People who possess a high degree of emotional intelligence know

themselves very well and are also able to sense the emotions of
others. They are affable, resilient, and optimistic.

People high in EI are mostly to weave real social fabric within an

organization, and between an organization and its stakeholders,

whereas those low in EI may tend to create problems for the
Organization through their behaviours

Permit me to conclude with the Serenity Prayer:

"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,

courage to change the things we can,

and wisdom to know the difference!

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CONCLUSION
Never speak out of anger; Never act out of fear; Never

choose from impatience; But waitand peace will

appear.

People may forget what you said and forget what you did,

but may never forget how you made them feel.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a

present and not giving it

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CONCLUSION
QUESTIONS

COMMENTS

THANK YOU

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