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History of
Arranged
Marriage

History of Arranged Marriage


Joseph Campbell in his book The Power of

Myth
the concept of marriage of romantic love did

not exist in Europe before 12thcentury.


Elizabethan period (15581603)
The religious life or married life was the only

options
Regardless of their social status and position
women and men were expected to marry.
During that time, single women are thought
to be witches by their neighbors.

Past: Elizabethan period


Elizabethan women were expected to bring a dowry

(mahr) to the marriage


an amount of money, goods, or even property as her

marriage portion.
After marriage, they were expected to run the

households and bring birth.


Effectually became his property

In the Elizabethan era, it was common for parents in

high society to arrange marriages among their children


to ensure that they continued the economic status and

descents
Parents of the bride would ordinarily offer their daughter
to the son of a family of the same economic status.

Past: India and Japan


In India, they rely on arranged marriages
traditional caste system prohibits them from

mixing.
In Japan, arranged marriage was initially

practiced by the Samurai in the 16th


century
as a means to secure influence and position.
Approximately 30 percent of marriages in

Japan are the arranged marriages called


omiai (Japanese: ) by the end of
20th century.

Past: Taiwan
They would sell a young daughter to a

richer family for labor is called Shim-pua


marriage (Taiwanese:sim-p-),
the poorer family would be married into the

family of richer through the daughter.


Shim-puamarriage fell out of practice in the
1970s due to economic flourishment.

Modern Arranged Marriage

Modern: India
Parents will choose several possible

candidates for their child.


Although parents may employ pressure on their

child to chose a certain candidate they favored


The child must say their decision after meeting
Educational and economic backgrounds are
taken into attention by the parents.
In modern 20th century India:
it is possible to marry outside of the sub-caste,

ones own language, or province as long as


they are still within the same caste

Modern: Pakistan
In certain tribal regions and rural areas

there is a custom known as Pait Likkhi


Urdu: , literally written on stomach
Agreed to marry their children while they are

still infants, or even before they are born.


The actual marriage takes place when at
their late teens or adults.

Modern: Pakistan
The second type is Watta satta
Urdu:
, literally give and take
Exchange brides between two groups of

different clans. In order for a family to


arrange a marriage for their son, they must
also have a daughter to be married in return.
If there is no sister to exchange in return for
a sons spouse, a distant relative is
acceptable.

LOVE
MARRIAGE

Two individuals care and love each


other
norm in western countries = individual
freedom and aspirations are more
important than what the parents expect
from a person.
Onus of choosing rests with the bride
and groom
Typically love marriages occur
between college friends/office
colleagues.

ADVANTAGES
Is build when the couple is dating

UNDERSTANDIN
G

Easier for them share their opinions,


problems and decisions.

Know the needs of each other

Positive and negative points of your


partner

Known
each
other

As mental preparation
When dispute arise, they will be able
to handle it
Prevent themselves from making
their partner angry.

All the family member will feel comfort


and will be able to enjoy their love

happiness

Compared to A.M, happiness will come


later.
Each will try their best to give comfort
and happiness with each other-mutual
love

To choose your partner/not marrying


a total stranger
Nor coercion and pressure (parental
pressure)

freedom

Become responsible running


household

You know each others family


Build a nice relationship with them
Helps in bonding well with in-laws
before marriage

Family
ties

DISADVANTA
GES

LOVE

Pure love V Fake love

1. Love by desiring
any other factors
Ex: beauty

2. Love with a lot of


expectation

Ex: marry a rich guy and


believe that you will life
happily

Is not a result of careful deliberation

Had not
chosen
wisely

Do not think about the future/the


possibility challenge in their
matrimonial
Ex: economic problem

They do not like your partner

Lack of support
from family
member

Parents usually very


particular in choosing their
son-in law but since love is
blind, you might go against
what your family want
At the end, no one will help
went problem arise.

Tired of
each
other

Lose interest
Try to seek the company of another
person
Why ?

ADVANTAGES

AND
DISADVANTAGES
OF ARRANGED
MARRIAGE

Marriage is built on a

set of moral values and


beliefs.
a certain level of
equality is achieved in
these unions.

EXTENDED FAMILY SUPPORT

DISCOVERY AND
DEVELOPMENT
OF LOVE EVERY
DAY

DISADVANTAGES
OF ARRANGED
MARRIAGE

HIGH RISK OF ABUSIVE PARTNERS


The couple might experience lack of privacy in

their relationship due to the family closeness and


interference by other relatives. It calls for an
awkward situation if the couple is in an argument,
and hence the entire family/ families might get
involved even if they dont tend to.
Another big disadvantage is that the in-laws
will most likely play a pretty huge role in one life.
It is often said that if the in laws helped one to
find a husband or wife, it is highly possible that
theyll have a say in how the children should be
raised, where to live and most other aspects of
ones life. For some this is fine. For others, its a
nightmare. Statistics show that meddling in-laws
are a huge issue of contention in many marriages!

Arrange married is not force in Islam

Arranged marriages are the cultural norm for many Muslims across the
world. Men and women who are ready to get married may meet their
future spouse through family or friends. Generally, since, Muslims do
not date in the popular Western cultural sense.

The traditional period of courtship is relative from culture to culture


and family to family. After the initial introduction, some families grant
the prospective groom and bride a chance to meet in private, under
supervision.

In addition, others allow them to get to know each other on the


telephone, via text or email. Some families encourage the potential
couple to go out in public, usually in a group setting.

The between force marriage and arrange married in Islam


Forced marriage occurs when a man or woman is coerced by the family

to marry, using threats, emotional blackmail, fraud, and even bribes.


Arranged against the person will be without consent or consent under
duress. That is not a marriage in Islam.

Marriage is Islam requires ijab and a qubul (proposal and acceptance).

Forcing a woman to marry a man means that there was no qubul, this
is the right of a woman, regardless of her age. Without it the marriage
is a sham, like living in zin.

Islamic ruling on marriage


Marriage without consent

In the Shfi'i and anbali school of thought- the majority of scholars are of the view that if a woman is married off without her
consent, then the marriage contract is invalid, because it is a forbidden contract which cannot be validated.
According to the anafi school of thought, the contract is dependent upon the woman's acceptance. If she gives her consent then
it is valid, otherwise she may annul it. See al-Mughni, 7/364; Fath al-Bri, 9/194

If the son or daughter likes someone else

Ibn Muflih al-anbali (may Allh have mercy on him) said: The parents have no right to force their son to marry someone he does
not want.
Shaykh Ibn Tayymiyyah said: Neither of the parents has the right to force their son to marry someone whom he does not want, and
if he refuses, he is not sinning by disobeying them, because no one has the right to force him to eat food he finds off-putting when
there is food that he wants to eat, and marriage is like that and more so. Food that one is forced to eat is unpleasant for a short
while, but a forced marriage lasts for a long time, and it harms a person and he cannot leave it. Al-Adb al-Shar'iyyah (1/447)

Concerning a minor
According to Mufti E. Desai, since Islm does not allow a minor to conduct business or make
financial decisions for himself or herself, a marital contract of a minor falls under the same
premise. However Islm does not give a father the right to use his children's wealth without
their permission, so how can he be allowed to decide, without the daughter's permission, how
her body (which is more important than her wealth) is to be used, specially when she disagrees.
Concerning a young woman or a widow or divorcee

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet said: A previously married woman may not be married
without her command, and a never married woman may not be married without her permission; and
permission for her is to remain silent. (Al-Bukhri, Muslim, and others) The exegis of this Prophetic
tradition is that if she does not speak up that means that she is giving consent. A wali (close male
relative) is a command-executor in the case of the previously married woman, and is permissionseeker in the case of a never-married woman.

Choose correctly
! Thanks for the
attention