Anger Management

Why am I so
angry and
what can I do

What Can You Learn?

The definition of anger

How anger affects you physically
Understanding anger payoffs
How anger can affect
relationships
How to deal with angry feelings
effectively
Steps to take to prevent an angry
outburst

The Definition of Anger

Wikipedia provided the following definition of anger:

[1] Anger is an emotional state that may range from minor

irritation to intense rage. The physical effects of anger
include increased heart rate, blood pressures, etc.
[2] Some view Anger as part of the fight or flight brain
response to the perceived threat of pain.
[3] Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally,
cognitively and physiologically when a person makes the
conscious choice to take action to immediately stop the
threatening behavior of another outside force.

How anger affects you

physically
What are some warning signs the body gives letting
you know you are getting angry?
Physical signs: Heightened tension, shortness of
breath, rapid heart
rate, headache or
stomachache, clenching your fists, sweating
Emotional signs: Depression, guilt, anxiety,
release
through tears or yelling
Other signs: Craving alcohol, cigarettes, food,
or something to help you relax

Words that Describe

Feelings of Anger
Fuming

Raging

Angry
Furious

Irritated

Bristl
ingIrate

Mad
Upset
Enraged

Outrage
d
Seethin

Danger!

Danger!

Danger!

Theres nothing wrong with occasional,

moderate anger. It creates no lasting harm. But
chronic, sustained anger can be a serious
problem. By keeping the body in a constant state
of emergency, chronic anger can contribute to
hypertension, heart disease, and increased
mortality from all causes (McKay & Rogers,
2000, p. 10).

Anger Payoffs
Why express anger? Everyone releases
anger in their own way to meet their own
needs.
Expressing anger might allow you to
manipulate and control others through
aggressive and intimidating behavior.
Expressing anger releases tension.
Expressing anger can reduce stress.
Expressing anger can hide emotional pain.
Expressing anger gets attention.
Expressing anger can be used for
punishment and revenge.

How Does
Anger Affect
Relationships?
Anger can result in domestic violence.
People who are around the angry person tend to shut
down in order not to anger that person.
Others get their feelings hurt.
Other people become defiant, become indifferent,
avoid you, or lose respect for the angry person.

Improve communication skills

Communication is a two-way process.

In successful communication, the sender is

clear and accurately conveys the message he
is trying to send, then the receiver clearly
understands the message.

Miscommunication occurs if the sender does

not send a clear message or the receiver does
not understand the message being sent by
the sender.

Establish Healthy Boundaries

for Your Anger
When your anger becomes too intense, stop and walk
away. For example, if the anger seems to be a 7 or
more on a 10-point scale, STOP!
Physical violence is never acceptable.
Set a limit on how much anger will be expressed
toward a loved one.
Respect needs to be mutual.
Yelling is not necessary to get your point across.
Let the other person have the last word.
Call a timeout so the discussion can be resumed when
everyone is more rational.
(Gentry, pp. 308-309)

The following are steps to

successful communication
within a family or group:
Everyone in the conflict be included.
2. Allow everyone time to calm down if needed.
3. Use neutral language.
4. No name-calling.
5. Each persons request needs to be considered and
each persons opinion needs to be heard.
6. Everyone should use active listening skills.
7. Generate new solutions to resolve the conflict.
8. Use humor.
9. Discuss each idea.
10.Vote or agree on a solution before the issue is
considered resolved.
1.

How to deal with angry

feelings effectively
Identify the emotional baggage
from childhood
issues.

Identify stressors and learn

stress-management techniques
and relaxation skills.

Learn
to
state
your
true
feelings.

Take steps to establish

real communication skills.

Learn to recognize your

bodys reactions to anger.
Attempt to see things from
the other persons perspective.

The following are some

steps you can
take to prevent an angry
outburst:

The three Rs:

1. Relax
2. Rethink
3. Redirect

Create Coping Thoughts

Create coping thoughts and use these thoughts to stay in control of
anger. Coping thoughts can help a person to stay calm and relaxed.
Some thoughts could be: take a deep breath and relax, I can manage
this because Im in control, I dont have to take this so seriously, I
can get through this.
Commit to using these thoughts whenever there are feelings of
anger, as this is a tool that can be effective in maintaining control of
anger and aggression.
Think of situations that provoke anger and plan a coping response
for these in advance.
(McKay & Rogers, pp. 71-82)