Listening skills

We were given two ears but only one

mouth. This is because God knew
that listening was twice as hard as
talking.

People can hear four times faster than

others can talk, which gives a skilled
listener time to sort matters

Anatomy of Poor Listening

Sheer laziness and/or just not caring
Noise and or physical discomfort
Turing the speaker off and dwelling on
the plethora of internal distractions
Letting a remark of the speaker (with
which we disagree) develop a
prejudice which clouds or puts a stop
to any further listening

Anatomy of Poor Listening

Boredom - remember, we hear four
times faster that we speak
Developing your own rebuttal or
listening mainly to find an opening to
state what you have to say
(competitive or combative listening)
Allowing personal characteristics of
the speaker or his poor delivery to
prevent understanding

Features of a Good Listener

Listen for the content of the
message,
Listen for the feelings of the speaker,
Listen without making judgment,
Respond to the feelings of the
speakers,

Features of a Good Listener

Note the speakers cues, both verbal
and nonverbal,
Ask open-ended questions, and
Reflect back to the speaker what you
think you are hearing.

Qualities of Active Listeners

Desire to be
other-directed

No desire to
protect yourself

Desire to imagine
the experience of
the other

Desire to
understand,
not critique

Skills for Active Listening

BODY LANGUAGE

Examples:
Sitting forward
Eye contact
Nodding head

Skills for Active Listening

OPEN-ENDED
QUESTIONS

Examples:
What happened
after that?
Who was there?
What did they do?
How did that work?

Skills for Active Listening

REPEAT CONTENT

Examples:
So what I hear you
saying is . . .

Skills for Active Listening

ACKNOWLEDGING
FEELINGS

Examples:
Youre feeling ___.
It makes you
(feeling) that . . .

Skills for Active Listening

DONT JUDGE

Examples:
Expressions before
someone has even
started.

Skills for Active Listening

BEING QUIET

Examples:
Count to yourself.

Qualities of ACTIVE LISTENING

Body Language

Open-Ended
Questions

Repeat Content

Acknowledge
Feelings

Dont Judge

Be Quiet

Active Listening Techniques

Encouraging
Restating
Reflecting
Summarizing

Encouragement
The purpose is to convey interest and
to keep the person talking.
To do this dont agree or disagree. Use
noncommittal words in a positive tone
of voice.
I see uh-huh Thats
interesting What did you say then?
What did he say when you said that?
Be aware of your body language!

Restating
The purpose is to show that you are
listening and understanding.
To do this, restate the others basic
ideas using your own words.
If I understand you, you are
saying In other words, your
decision is
Be aware of your body language!

Reflecting
The purpose is to show that you are
listening and understand what they
are feeling.
To do this restate the others basic
feeling.
You feel that You were pretty
disturbed by this
Be aware of your body language!

Summarizing
The purpose is to pull important ideas,
facts, etc. together, to establish a basis for
further discussion and to review progress.
To do this restate, reflect and summarize
major ideas and feelings.
These seem to be the key ideas you have
expressed If I understand you, you
feel this way about the situation
Be aware of your body language!

DIFFERENT TYPES OF
LISTENING
INFORMATIVE LISTENING
Where your aim is to concentrate on
the message being given. This may
bethe content of a lesson, directions,
instructions, etc.

APPRECIATIVE LISTENING
Where the listener gains
pleasure/satisfaction from listening to
a certain type of music for example.
Appreciative sources might also
include particular charismatic
speakers or entertainers. These are
personal preferences and may have
been shaped through our experiences
and expectations

CRITICAL LISTENING
Where the listener may be trying to
weigh up whether the speaker is
credible, whether the message being
given is logical and whether they are
being duped or manipulated by the
speaker.
This is the type of listening that we may
adopt when faced with an offer or sales
pitch that requires a decision from us.

DISCRIMINATIVE LISTENING
Where the listener is able to identify and
distinguish inferences or emotions through the
speakers change in voice tone, their use of pause,
etc.
Some people are extremely sensitive in this way,
while others are less able to pick up these subtle
cues. Where the listener may recognize and
pinpoint a specific engine fault, a familiar laugh
from a crowded theatre or their own childs cry in a
noisy playground.
This ability may be affected by hearing impairment.

EMPATHIC LISTENING
Where the listener tends to listen rather than
talk.
Their non-verbal behavior indicates that the
listener is attending to what is being said.
The emphasizes on understanding the speakers
feelings and being supportive and patient.
The remaining exercise and paired activities are
designed to demonstrate the advantages of
empathic listening and to highlight a range of
obstructions that may prevent us from being
effective listeners.

Thank-you