CHAPTER 2

Planning
Business
Messages

Instructor Only Version

2010 Thomson South-Western
 Basics of business writing

Business messages are different from

college essays, term papers, and
messages to friends.
Conciseness and clarity count.

ISTOCKPHOTO.COM/ZSOLT NUYLASZI

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 2

 The best business writing is

Purposeful
Persuasive
Economical
Audience oriented

Following a process can make you

a better writer or speaker.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 3
 The Writing Process

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 4

 Approximately how much time
should be spent at each stage?

MaryMary
EllenEllen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
8e 8e Chapter 2,
1, Slide 5
 Analyzing Your Purpose
and Channel
Identify your purpose.
Why are you writing?
What do you hope to achieve?

JON FEINGERSH / ICONICA / GETTY IMAGES

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 6

 Select the best channel.

E-mail Telephone
Fax Voice mail
Letter Meeting
Memo Conversation
Report Web site

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 7

 Select the best channel.

How important is the message?

How fast do you need feedback?
Is a permanent record essential?
What is the cost of the channel?
How much formality do you desire?
How confidential or sensitive is the
message?
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 8
 Profiling the Audience

Primary Audience
Who is the primary reader?
What are my personal and professional
relationships with that person?
What does the person know about the
subject?
What kind of response should I expect?

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 9

 Profiling the Audience

Secondary Audience
Who else might see or hear this
message?
Are they different from the primary
audience?
How must I reshape the message for
the secondary audience?

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 10

 Spotlight
Spotlight
Audience
Audience
Benefits
Benefits

Create
Createaa
Message
MessageThat
That
Suits
SuitsYour
Your
Audience
Audience

Adapting to Task and Audience

MaryMary
EllenEllen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
8e 8e Chapter 2,
1, Slide 11
 Spotlight Audience Benefits

Focus your statements on the audience,

not the sender.

Instead of this: Try this:

We are promoting a You will enjoy total peace
new hospitalization of mind with our
plan that we believe affordable hospitalization
has many outstanding plan that meets all your
benefits. needs.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 12

Adapting Spotlight
Spotlight
Audience
Audience
to Task and Benefits
Benefits

Audience
Create
Createaa
Message
MessageThat
That
Suits
SuitsYour
Your
Audience
Audience

Cultivate
Cultivate
AAYou
You
View
View

MaryMary
EllenEllen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
8e 8e Chapter 2,
1, Slide 13
 Develop a You View

Emphasize second-person pronouns

(you/your) instead of first-person pronouns
(I/we, us, our)
Instead of this: Try this:
Before we can allow you to You may begin
purchase items on this new making purchases
account, we must wait two on your new account
weeks to verify your credit. in two weeks.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 14

 Develop a You View

Revise these sentences: These are better:

We are now offering Quick

You can now purchase
HP computers at HP computers at
discounted prices. Check
discounted prices.
We are pleased to Congratulations! You
announce that you have have been selected to
been approved to enroll enter our leadership
in our leadership training program!
training program.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 15

 Spotlight
Spotlight
Audience
Audience
Benefits
Benefits

Create
Createaa
Message
MessageThat
That
Suits
SuitsYour
Your
Audience
Audience Cultivate
Cultivate
Sound
Sound AAYou
You
Conversational
Conversational View
View

Adapting to Task and Audience

MaryMary
EllenEllen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
8e 8e Chapter 2,
1, Slide 16
 Conversational Language

Instead of this: Try this:

The undersigned takes Im happy to . . .
pleasure in . . .
It may be of some concern Weve credited your
to you to learn that your account for $250.
check has been received
and your account has been
credited for $250.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 17

 Spotlight
Spotlight
Audience
Audience
Benefits
Benefits

Create
Createaa
Employ
Employ Cultivate
Cultivate
Message
MessageThat
That
Positive
Positive AAYou
You
Suits
SuitsYour
Your
Language
Language View
View
Audience
Audience

Sound
Sound
Conversational
Conversational

MaryMary
EllenEllen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
8e 8e Chapter 2,
1, Slide 18
 Positive Language

Instead of this: Try this:

Employees may not use Employees may use the
the First Street entrance Market Street entrance
during remodeling. during remodeling.

We cannot fill your order We can fill your order

until we receive an exact once we receive an
model number. exact model number.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 19

 State Ideas Positively

Revise these sentences: These are better:

We must withhold Quick
You will be paid
payment until you promptly once the job is
complete the job Check
completed satisfactorily.
satisfactorily.
If you fail to follow each By following each
requirement, you will not requirement, you will
receive your $50 rebate. receive your $50 rebate.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 20

 Levels of Language Use

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Found in
Some comic strips Business Scientific writing,
and songs, some messages, novels, legal documents,
commercials, some most newspapers, scholarly books,
conversations, and most formal essays,
some IM and e-mail magazines proclamations
messages

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 21

 Levels of Language Use

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Characterized by
Incorrect grammar, Correct grammar Correct grammar,
unpredictable and punctuation, serious tone,
sentence structure, conversational complex sentence
inappropriate tone, simple structure,
punctuation, slang, sentence structure, polysyllabic words
vulgarisms familiar words

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 22

 Levels of Language Use

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Examples
wasted ruined annihilated
nab catch apprehend
bad-mouth criticize disparage
dough, bread money currency
stewed, plastered intoxicated, drunk inebriated
I aint Im not I am not
humongous enormous prodigious
tight frugal penurious

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 23

Revise to create reader benefits.

I have 15 different You have 15 financial

financial plans to offer my plans from which to
investors.
Quick
choose.

We want all newly hired Check

As a newly hired
employees to use our employee, you wont
carpooling program for at have to drive to work for
least three months. the first three months
because you can
carpool.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 24
 Revise the following to sound
conversational.

The undersigned takes Im happy to welcome

great pleasure in
welcoming you to our
Quick you to our staff.

staff. Check
Per your request, we are As you requested, we
sending under separate are sending your May
cover your May invoice. invoice separately.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 25

 Hidden Messages

Some words and phrases convey a

negative and unpleasant tone. They
may imply a hidden message that the
writer does not intend. Think twice
before using the following negative
expressions.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 26

 Negative Language Hidden Meaning
You overlooked You are careless
You state that But I dont believe you
You failed to You are careless
You claim that Its probably untrue
You are wrong I am right
You do not understand You are not smart
Your delay You are at fault
You forgot to You are inefficient, stupid
and careless

MaryMary
EllenEllen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
8e 8e Chapter 2,
1, Slide 27
 Spotlight
Spotlight
Audience
Audience
Benefits
Benefits

Use
Use Cultivate
Cultivate
Inclusive
Inclusive AAYou
You
Create
Createaa
Language
Language View
View
Message
MessageThat
That
Suits
SuitsYour
Your
Audience
Audience

Employ
Employ Sound
Sound
Positive
Positive Conversational
Conversational
Language
Language

MaryMary
EllenEllen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
8e 8e Chapter 2,
1, Slide 28
 Inclusive Language

Instead of this: Try this:

Have you called a Have you called a
salesman? salesperson?
Every executive All executives have their own
has his own office. offices.
Every executive has an office.
This alternative is
All executives have offices.
wordy and calls Every executive has his or
attention to itself
her own office.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 29

Positive and Inclusive Language

Revise these sentences: These are better:

No tenant may move in Tenants may move in
until May 1. Quick
on May 1.
Because you failed to Check
As soon as we receive
include your credit your credit information,
information, we cannot we can ship your order.
ship your order.
Marcello Luna is the new Marcello Luna is the
Mexican accountant. new accountant.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 30
 Spotlight
Spotlight
Audience
Audience
Draw Benefits
Benefits Cultivate
Drawonon Cultivate
Familiar
Familiar AAYou
You
Words
Words View
View
Create
Createaa
Message
MessageThat
That
Adopt
Adopt Suits
SuitsYour
Your Sound
Sound
Plain
Plain Audience
Audience Conversational
Conversational
Language
Language

Use
Use Use
UsePositive
Positive
Inclusive
Inclusive Language
Language
Language
Language

MaryMary
EllenEllen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
8e 8e Chapter 2,
1, Slide 31
 Plain Language

Avoid federalese, bureaucratese, and inflated

language.
Federalese: Each person to whom the request is herein
addressed is henceforth solicited to submit, or to have his or
her department representative submit, to the Department of
Labor official described above, a comment on whether the
proposed plan, in his or her considered view, meets the
requirements of the 2003 law.
Simple Translation: You may wish to comment on whether
the proposed plan meets the requirements of the 2003 law.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 32

 Familiar Words

Avoid long, difficult, and unfamiliar

words. Use short, simple, and common
words whenever possible.
Less familiar words Simple alternatives
encounter meet
extrapolate project
obligatory required
terminate end

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 33

 Spotlight
Spotlight
Choose
Choose Audience
Audience
Courteous
Courteous Benefits
Benefits Cultivate
Cultivate
Language
Language AAYou
You
View
View

Draw
Drawonon Create
Createaa
Familiar
Familiar Message
MessageThat
That
Words
Words Suits
SuitsYour
Your Sound
Sound
Audience
Audience Conversational
Conversational
Adopt
Adopt
Plain
Plain
Language
Language Use
Use Use
Inclusive UsePositive
Positive
Inclusive Language
Language
Language
Language

MaryMary
EllenEllen
Guffey,
Guffey,
Essentials
Essentials
of Business
of Business
Communication,
Communication,
8e 8e Chapter 2,
1, Slide 34
 Courteous Language
Avoid sounding demanding, preachy, or rude.
Instead of this: Try this:
You must complete this Will you please complete
research by June 1. this research by June 1.

I am sick and tired of Let me show you how to

being the only one who remove jammed paper
removes jammed paper so that you can
from the copier! complete your copying.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 35
 Revise the following using
simple language

You may encounter You may have difficulty

contract.
Quick
difficulty in terminating the ending the contract.
OR: It may be difficult
Check
to end the contract.
As stipulated, we As required, we
extrapolated the budget projected the budget
figures for two years. figures for two years.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 36

 Revise the following using
simple language

Will you utilize workbooks Will you use workbooks

during the obligatory during the required
training period? training period?

We anticipate that a We expect that most of

majority of the alternative the choices will be
will be sufficiently sufficiently basic to
fundamental to meet our meet our needs.
requirements.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e Chapter 2, Slide 37

 END

Instructor Only Version

2010 Thomson South-Western