Chapter 4

Writing
for Effect
Learning Objectives
 Upon completion this chapter, you will be able to;
 Write business communication with emphasizing key points.
 Have positive effect on human relations.

 By;
 Explaining the need for effect in writing business messages.
 Using a conversational style.
 Using the you-viewpoint to build goodwill.
 Employing positive language for achieving goodwill
 Explaining the techniques for achieving courtesy.
 Writing documents that flow smoothly
 Affecting Human Relation through
Writing
Dear Mr. Morley:

Your December 3rd complaint was received and contents noted.

After reviewing the facts, I regret to report that I must refuse your
claim. If you will read the warranty brochure, you will see that the
shelving you bought is designed for light loads --- a maximum of
800 pounds. You should have bought the heavy-duty product.
I regret the damage this mistake caused you and trust that
you will see our position. Hoping to be of service o you in the
future, I remain,

Sincerely yours,
 Analysis of The Message
 In this message you detect more than just the
readability problem.
 The words are not polite. Instead of showing
concern for the reader, they are blunt, tactless, and
unfriendly.
 Overall, they leave a bad impression in the reader’s
mind --- the impression of a writer, and a business,
unconcerned about the needs for good human
relations.
 The Importance of Effect
 Written communication within a business primarily
requires clarity.
 Good business writing, especially to external
audiences, require both clarity and the goodwill
effect.
 Most people enjoy building goodwill.
 Writing in conversational language has a favorable
effect.
 Conversational Style
 One technique that helps build the goodwill effect is
to write in conversational language.
 By conversational language we mean language that
resembles conversation.
 It is warm and natural.
 Such language leaves an impression that people like.
 It is also the language we use most and understand
best.
 Because it is easily understood, it is good business
etiquette to use it.
Resisting the Tendency to Be Formal
 Writing in conversational language is not easy, for
we tend to be stiff and formal.
 We seek the big word, the difficult word. The result
is cold and unnatural style --- one that doesn’t
produce the goodwill effect you want your
messages to have.
 The following examples illustrate this problem and
how to correct it.
 Examples
Stiff and Dull
Reference is made to your
May 7 email, in which you
describe the approved
procedure for initiating a claim.
Enclosed herewith is the
brochure about which you
make inquiry.
I shall be most pleased to
avail (gain) myself of your kind
suggestion when and if prices
decline.
Conversational
Please refer to your May 7
email, in which you tell how to
file a claim.
Enclosed is the brochure you
asked about.
I’ll gladly follow your suggestion
if the price falls.
Cutting Out “Rubber Stamps”
 Rubber stamps (also called clichés) are expressions used
by habit every time a certain type of situation occurs.
They are used without thought and do not fit the present
situation exclusively.
 These phrases, while once quite appropriate, have
become stale with overuse.
 A blessing in disguise Last but not least
 As good as gold Learning the ropes
 Last but not the least Leave no stone unturned
 Back against the wall To add insult to injury
Cutting Out “Rubber Stamps”
 Expressions from the old language of business are
rubber stamps. Some new ones exist.
I am happy to be able to answer your message.
 I have received your message.
 This will acknowledge receipt of ….
 According to our records…
 This is to inform you that….
 In accordance with your instructions…

 You can avoid rubber stamps by writing in your

conversational vocabulary.
 Proof through Constructing Examples

Dull and Stiff Friendly and Conversational

Please be advised that you You should sign the form before
should sign the form before the 1st.
the 1st.

Hoping this meets with I hope you approve

your approval….

I deem it advisable.… I suggest…

Kindly advise at an early Please let me know soon.

date.
 You-Viewpoint
 Writing from the you-viewpoint (also called
you-attitude) is another technique for building
goodwill in written messages.
 You-viewpoint writing emphasizes the reader’s
interests and concerns.
 It is an attitude of mind involving more than the
use of you and yours.
 You-Viewpoint Illustrated
 Example:
I am happy to report…..
You-viewpoint:
You will be happy to know….

 Example:
We make Kodak digital cameras in three levels:
beginner, intermediate, and professional.
You-viewpoint:
Kodak makes cameras for you in three models:
basic, standard, and full-featured.
You-Viewpoint Illustrated
 Even a bad-news situation can benefit from you-
viewpoint wording.
We cannot comply with your request to use our staff
on your project, for it would cost us more than we can
afford.
 You-viewpoint:

As a business professor, you will understand why we

must limit our staff to work in our office.
 Contrasting Examples
We-Viewpoint
We have been quite tolerant
of your past-due account
and must now demand
payment.
You-Viewpoint
If you are to continue to
enjoy the benefits of credit
buying, you must clear your
account now.

We have received your Thank you for your report of

report of May 1. May 1.

We require that you sign the For your protection, you

sales slip before we will are charged only after you
charge to your account. have signed the sales slip.
You-Viewpoint Controversy
 Some say that the you-viewpoint is insincere and
manipulative.
 It can be insincere, but it need not be.
 Using the you-viewpoint is just being courteous.
Research supports its use.
 Accent on Positive Language
 Of the many ways of saying anything, each has a
unique meaning.
 Positive words are usually best for message goals,
especially where persuasion and goodwill is
needed.
 Negative words stir up resistance and hurt goodwill.
 So beware of strongly negative words (mistake,
problems), words that deny (no, do not), and ugly
words (itch, guts).
 Effects of Words
 Example:
We regret to inform you that we cannot permit you to
use our auditorium for your meeting, as the Ladies
Investment Club asked for it first. We can, however,
let you use our conference room, but it seats only
60.
Compared to
Although the Ladies Investment Club has reserved the
auditorium for Saturday, we can instead offer you
our conference room, which seats 60.
 Examples of Word Choice
Negative Positive

Smoking is not permitted Smoking is permitted in the

anywhere except in the lobby only.
lobby.

We cannot deliver until We can deliver the goods on

Friday. Friday.

We regret to inform you For the time being, we can

that we must deny your serve you on a cash basis
request for credit. only.
 Courtesy
 Courtesy is a major contributor to goodwill in
business documents.
 Courtesy involves the preceding goodwill
techniques, and also some other techniques
discussed below.
Courtesy
1. Singling out your reader: It involves writing
directly for the one reader. This means writing for
the one situation.
2. Refraining from preaching: The effect of courtesy
is helped by not preaching (lecturing).
 Usually preaching is not intended. It often results from
efforts to persuade.
 Elementary, flat, and obvious statements often sound
preachy.
Courtesy
 Example:
You must take advantage of savings like this if you
are to be successful. The pennies you save pile up. In
time you will have dollars.
 It is insulting to tell the reader something quite
elementary as if it were not known. Such obvious
information should be omitted.
 Another form of peachiness takes this obvious
question-and-answer pattern:
“Would you like to make a deal that would make you
a 38% profit? Of course you would!”
Courtesy
3. Doing more than is expected: for example, at
the end of question paper, some teachers write
“Good luck!”
4. Avoiding anger: It destroys goodwill.
Example:
If you had read Section IV of your policy, you would
know that you are not covered on accidents that
occur on water.
Compared to
As a review of Section IV of your policy indicates, you
are covered on accidents that occur on the grounds
of your residence only.
Courtesy
 Other examples:
I cannot understand your negligence.
We will not tolerate this condition.
Your careless attitude has caused us a loss in sales.
5. Being sincere: Too much you-viewpoint sounds
insincere. Exaggerated statements are obviously
insincere. Superlatives (greatest, finest, strongest,
etc.) often suggest exaggeration.
Courtesy
Examples:
 Never has there been, nor will there be, a fan as

smooth running and whispering quiet as the North

Wind.
 Everywhere coffee drinkers meet, they are talking

about the amazing whiteness of Colgate gives their

teeth.
 The Role of Emphasis
 Emphasis also determines effect. Every item
communicated should get the proper emphasis.
 There are four basic emphasis techniques.

1. Emphasis by position: Position determines

emphasis. Beginnings and endings carry emphasis.
 The first and last sentences of a message, the first
and last sentences of a paragraph, and the first
and last words of a sentence all carry more
importance than the middle parts.
The Role of Emphasis
Space and emphasis: The more space a topic is
given, the more emphasis the topic receives.
3. Sentence structure and emphasis: Short, simple
sentences emphasize content; long, involved ones do
not.
4. Mechanical means of emphasis: Mechanical
devices (underscore, color, diagrams, etc.) also give
emphasis to content.
 Coherence
 The relationships among the parts should be clear.
 Presenting information in logical order.
 Example;
 In contrast, for example, first, second, and third.