MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE

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 Why do couples of same sex not
allowed to marry?

Is love ever enough to sustain marriage?

Why a need for marriage and spend a lot while we can live together without it?
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Insert flash!

Kahit ano pa man ang

sabihin ng mga tao tungkol
sa kasal, mayroong KUNG
ANO ang kasal na
magpapangiti sa tao…
magpapangiti,
magpapaluha..galak o
lumbay...pag-asa o
kawalan nito.

Ika nga:
“Ang pag-ibig nga
naman, hahamakin
ang lahat, masunod
ka lamang”

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Indeed, there is something about
MARRIAGE and FAMILY LIFE!!!

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CHAPTER 1: Lesson 1

EMERGING REALITIES

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Ch. 1: Les. 1:
 Marriage
 Commonly referred to as “settling down”
(paglalagay sa tahimik)
 Both secular and sacred reality
 “natural human institution”
 Both a “contract” and a “covenant”
 Involves a DEEPLY personal affair between
two persons in love

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Ch. 1: Les. 1:
 A “social institution” that exists interdependently
with community/state
 Education
 Economics
 Property
 Medical attention
 Public decency
 safety

 Sadly, there are emerging threats to marriage

and family life

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Activity:
 The class is divided into
groups. Discuss in the group
this question: What are
today’s current threats to
marriage and family life in
terms of:
 A presentation of the group
discussion follows. through a
presentation of a simple
and short SKIT that shows
the general idea of your
group discussion.

 Faith and spiritual

dimension
 Political aspect
 Economic aspect
 Culture and tradition
 Ecological aspect
 Social aspect

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Activity:
 The class is divided into  A presentation of the group
groups. Discuss in the group discussion follows.
this question: What are
today’s current threats to
marriage and family life in
terms of:

 Faith and spiritual

dimension
 Political aspect
 Economic aspect
 Culture and tradition
 Ecological aspect
 Social aspect

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CHAPTER 1: Lesson 2

The Purpose of Marriage in

Creation

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Ch. 1: Les. 2:

After getting acquainted with current realities pertaining to

marriage and family, it’s best to go back and rekindle the
original richness and beauty of Marriage and Family… in
the context of God’s Word and Revelation

First Stop:
The story of
Adam and Eve

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 Ch. 1: Les. 2:
The gift of sexuality
There are two
is God’s answer
accounts of
for man’s deep
Creation Story:
longing to be with
1. Priestly account
someone
(Gen. 1:1-31)
2. Yahwist tradition
(Gen. 2: 2-25)

Adam’s longing for

someone is answered Sexuality is far larger than sex
by the creation of Eve. act. Adam sees in Eve not
“This is bone of my just a sexual partner, but a
bones and flesh of my person that can reciprocate
flesh!” his love and personhood.
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 Ch. 1: Les. 2:
God entrusted to them the mission:
“be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth
and conquer it.” Ahh… the work of
Procreation and Stewardship

God created them MALE and

FEMALE

By that it means, they are

distinct yet equal with one
another

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 Ch. 1: Les. 2:
But as we all know, creation
story after all is not everything
beautiful. Sin enters with the fall
of Adam and Eve.
Their original communion
was then ruptured… thus the
entry of consequences
thereof:
 Consequences
include:
 Pain of childbirth
 Lust
 Sweat of labor
 Sexual hierarchy
 Gender conflict and
dominance
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CHAPTER 1: Lesson 3

Marriage as realized among the

chosen people

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Ch. 1: Les. 3:
 Ancient practices and
customs:
 Women’s subordination to
men
 Procreation as primary
function
It’s never been a surprise to  Polygamy
know that the concept of  Divorce as prerogative of
men
marriage has lost its real
meaning in the time of the  Barrenness as disgrace
ancient Israel.  concubinage
 Levirate law – to marry the
wife of one’s dead brother
to continue lineage and
inheritance
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 Ch. 1: Les. 3:
However, all is not lost in this
period. The time of the
prophets provided a vision for
marriage as a COVENANT
Let’s see and know the love
story of Prophet Hosea and
Gomer?
Prophet Hosea was
commanded by God to
marry Gomer, a
prostitute. He obeyed
but Gomer still went
back to being a
prostitute. He courted
her in trying to win her
back. But the same
thing happens again…
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Ch. 1: Les. 3:
 There might have been
an improved concept of
marriage, still tensions
occurred:
 Patriarchal-genealogical
emphasis vs. prophetic
messianic
 Pregnancy/childbearing
as source of dignity of
conjugal union
 Jewish society regards
children as blessings
and signs of God’s favor
It’s like the story of
Yahweh and His people.
Yahweh’s forgiveness is
based upon love towards the
ever-unfaithful people of
Israel.
This is the so-called:
“covenantal”
relationship that is
based on steadfast
growing love,
balanced with
strength of duty and
sensitivity of kindness
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 Ch. 1: Les. 3:
Thus far, we have seen how
marriage as a concept and practice
has developed through time in the
Old Testament. “A human reality
that forms part of God’s salvific
work.” But the journey is never
over. We’ll come to know that the
richness of marriage rests upon
Jesus Christ.
Hmmm…let’s see how far
have you learned the
lessons.
State some Filipino wedding
practices when it comes to
marriage/wedding and react
on it personally considering
its real meaning as originally
planned by God.
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CHAPTER 2: Lesson 4

Marriage in the Gospels

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Ch. 2: Les. 4:
Actually, there’s only a  On love
few of Jesus’ direct
assertions/teachings  On Marriage
about marriage and  Wedding Feast in
sexuality
Cana
 Questions on Divorce
However, much can still  Celibacy in the light
be regarded as lessons of Marriage
on marriage and related
matters as found in the
course of His ministry

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Ch. 2: Les. 4:
Jesus’ preaching on LOVE is
more of general than specific
to married couples.
However, this same love to people
in general should also the kind of
love that exists in marriage of two
people

 “Love one another as I have loved you. No

greater love than that he lays down his life
for a friend” (Jn. 15:12-14)
 fidelity, unconditional
Love calls for
surrender and forgiveness
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 Ch. 2: Les. 4:

The Wedding event in

Cana was Jesus’ first
ever miracle Sooooo….
Wwwhhhhaatttt????
What is remarkable
about this event was Sooooo….
not much about his Wwwhhhhaatttt????
miracle of turning
water into wine…
It is his PRESENCE that makes the
difference. By this presence is shown
His important regard to marital union.

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 Ch. 2: Les. 4:
Jesus’ teaching on
 “…They are no longer two
marriage is further but one body… what God
and more has united, man must not
extensively found in
Mt. 19:3-11
divide…”
 No to divorce… Yes to
permanence of marital union
 Marriage finds its redeeming
That’s when Pharisees value in Jesus as He brings it
came to ask Jesus
about the validity of back in the original plan of
“divorce” as practiced God
in the Old Testament.  Union in love
 Fruitfulness in procreative task
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Ch. 2: Les. 4:
 Two properties of marriage:
 Unity – excludes extra-marital relations or any
form of polygamy
 Indissolubility – “no” to divorce and re-marriage

However, if one may observe… even Jesus seems

to accept divorce “with exceptions”

“If a man divorces his wife, except in case of

porneia, and then marries another, he is guilty
of adultery”

Greek word for “immorality” or

“fornication” 26
 Ch. 2: Les. 4:
Actually, Jesus was
concerned with two
related issues here. Right?
Did Jesus therefore
provide an excuse for
divorce, that is, fornication
by the adultering wife?
But one thing is for sure.
Jesus was bringing back
the covenantal
character of marriage.
That of not divorcing the wife,
except for fornication which was
allowed in Jewish law AND of
marrying again.
Opposing groups have it one or the other.
There’s no clear and straightforward answer
given the Jewish circumstance.
Yeah right! One that’s based on
undying faithfulness between
couples who are open to
forgiveness and reconciliation in
times of failure and mistakes
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 Ch. 2: Les. 4:
It’s good to also understand
“celibacy” as
complementary concept in
the proper understanding of
marriage
Celibacy is the state of being
single, choosing to totally give
up marriage and family life to
commit oneself to Jesus and
His mission.
While it’s oddly strange for man to be
unmarried in Jewish culture, Jesus
presented an optional way of life. One
that’s not against marriage but
complementary with it - CELIBACY
 With Jesus, original
aspect of marriage has
not only been brought
back, there’s a new
dimension given to it
 Marriage is conferred a
salvific meaning in
God’s Kingdom
 Marriage as a reflection
of Jesus’ New
Covenant with the
Church vis-à-vis Old
Covenant between
Yahweh and Israel
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CHAPTER 2: Lesson 5

Marriage in St. Paul’s Teachings

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 Ch. 2: Les. 5:
While St. Paul has
written much about sex
and marriage, there’s a
seeming ambivalence in
some respect
Ahhh… it’s his stand in
two different things:
marriage and single
state of life

Considering the context

where he was at, well, The Greek society thrives on
that’s understandable! two opposing extremes:
sexual promiscuity and
extreme asceticism
Continence (1 Cor. 7: 1,7)
Value of sex act (1 Cor. 7:3,4) Trivial point:
* No mention of children
insofar as “eschatology”
nears. 30
Ch. 2: Les. 5:
For St. Paul, sexual act “Do not refuse one another, except
in marriage is a value perhaps by agreement for a season,
that must be stressed in that you may devote yourself to
practice. prayer, but then come together
again, lest Satan tempt you through
lack of self-control” (1 Cor. 7:5)

 Sexual act is:

 Right of both husband and wife
 Later theological thought understood it as “marital
debt”
 But still maintaining the so-called “common
consent”
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 Ch. 2: Les. 5:
It’s in the Letter to
Ephesians where “…Wives should regard their
Paul’s theology on husbands as they regard the
marriage is at its Lord… Husbands should love their
best! wives just as Christ loved the
Church… (Eph.5:21-25, 28-32)

 Key words to remember and understand: submission and

leadership.
 A submission in love just as one submits to Christ
 A leadership by service and not by authority
 A new perspective was given, i.e., marriage of two persons
seen in the link between Christ (Groom) and the Church
(Bride)
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CHAPTER 3: Lessons 6-10

Christian Dimensions of Marriage

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 Ch. 3: Les. 6-10:
Marriage as a Contract has
the following characteristics:

 It signifies a permanent union

 It can only be entered by man and woman towards
establishment of family
 Consent must be free and mutual
 Free consent is limited only to the question of whether to marry and
whom to marry, nothing else
 Consent is valid if there’s adequate knowledge and free
decision
 Consent made by matured and stable couples must be
IRREVOCABLE. Thus, this bond is INDISSOLUBLE
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 Ch. 3: Les. 6-10:
While contract focuses on
“agreement” a covenant
Marriage as a Covenant has centers on persons in
the following characteristics: love.

 It is a love-covenant
 Traits include love, sacrifice, forgiveness and faithfulness
 A sacred relationship involving three persons:
husband, wife and God
 Enriches the values of marriage:
 Lastingness (demanded by nature of marital bond)
 Faithfulness and fruitfulness (by nature of conjugal love)
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 Ch. 3: Les. 6-10:
Marriage as a Covenant has
the following ends:

 The good of the Spouses

 The love that unites the couple is not only a prerequisite or
motivating factor for marriage, but the soul of marriage
 The good of the children
 As marriage is naturally ordained towards procreation and
education, it is not really a matter of having as many children but
providing them with proper nurturing and guidance. Thus,
responsible parenthood.

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 Ch. 3: Les. 6-10:
Marriage as a Covenant has
the essential properties:

1. Unity or Exclusiveness: Enriched by the

Spouses’ Faithfulness
 The very purposes of marriage require this property
 Fidelity/Faithfulness is more a dynamic term than
exclusiveness
 Fidelity is not really the goal of marriage, it’s just a
means towards continued nurturing of love and marital
commitment for life.
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 Ch. 3: Les. 6-10:
Marriage as a Covenant has
the essential properties:

2. Indissolubility or Permanence: Enriched by the Spouses’

Struggles for Lastingness
 Permanence is not a matter of whether the couples should not
dissolve, but that, in fact, they cannot dissolve the marital bond
 It appears to be a cruel teaching. Taking into account the whole
meaning of marriage as covenant and sacrament, this requires
therefore a sacrificial and saving love.
 Marital bond is not merely permanence, the more dynamic term is
lastingness – a union that is growing, improving and enriching.
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 Ch. 3: Les. 6-10:
Marriage as a Covenant has
the essential properties:

3. Openness to Fertility: Enriched by Fruitfulness in the

Married Life
 Just as marriage is a partnership of “life and love”, it is seen then as a
“service of life”
 In its biological dimension, it is seen as the physical capacity of couples
to have children through sexual union
 Problem: sex acts which are not generative by nature and choice are still
procreative, because procreative meaning is not solely fertility (fecundity)
but ”openness to fertility” (fruitfulness)
 This fruitfulness is not merely generation of children but extends to
their continuous upbringing (responsible parenthood)
 Even childless marriage is fruitful because the first fruit of marriage is the
growth of partners as persons.
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 Ch. 3: Les. 6-10:
Marriage as a SACRAMENT has
the following characteristics:

 It has a sign-element
 The couple’s mutual gift and acceptance of each other (marital
consent).
 The “I do” to one another do not remain mere words. They signify a
lifetime and lifelong commitment.
 It has the saving presence of Christ
 Jesus is indispensable in the marital relationship
 It is a saving grace
 a.k.a “matrimonial grace” – provides strength and endurance for
couples especially in the most difficult times.
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 Ch. 3: Les. 6-10:
Just a note on “ratified
and consummated”
marriage arising from the
notion of indissolubility of
marital bond
 “A valid marriage covenant,
consummated by sexual
intercourse is absolutely
indissoluble by any earthly
power.”
 A marriage without
consummation is only “ratified.”
If with conjugal act, “ratified and
consummated”
 While the Church permits
“physical separation” between
couples, they remain however
husband and wife, thus, not free
to remarry. 41
 Ch. 3: Les. 6-10:
Marriage as a CELEBRATION
has the following characteristics:

 Marriage in the Church is not a matter of choice. It

is a requirement
 The husband and wife are the ministers
 A public declaration of love commitment before Christ
and Church
 Important ways to renew covenant:
 At the table of a sacred meal (Holy Eucharist)
 Marital act of sexual intercourse
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 Ch. 3: Les. 6-10:
Marriage as a VOCATION has
the following characteristics:

 “Call by God to a closer union with Him and Church”

 It is both a gift and a mission
 It is a call towards “responsible parenthood”
 It is a call to holiness because it’s not a blissful journey after
all. The task of parenting and marital union have sacrifices
to endure.
 Anecdote of a little boy carrying his crippled brother
 This suffering could be channel for redeeming grace for both
partners and a source of strength.
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