INTRODUCTION

EMPHASIS ON
& GREETING
INFORMALITY

AMERICAN
SOCIAL
RELATION
PERSONAL ELEMENTS OF
FRIENDSHIP COMMUNICATION

Parlindungan Pardede
Universitas Kristen Indonesia Jakarta
 OFFICIAL, OR
TO PROVIDE
STATUS/AGE
OPPORTUNITY IS DIFFERENT;
TO KNOW TITLE/ LAST NAME
OTHER IS EXPECTED;
FORMAL LONG & COMPLETE
PEOPLE
LANGUAGE;
HANDSHAKING
IS EXPECTED

GOAL
INTRODUCTION
& GREETING RANGE OF
INTRODUCTION

GOOD MANNER
RULES INFORMAL
DAILY OR CASUAL;
TITLE/ LAST NAME
IS IGNORED;
BRIEF & REDUCED
MAN IS INTRODUCED TO WOMAN, YOUNGER TO LANGUAGE;
THE OLDER, GUEST TO HOST, A PERSON TO GROUP; HANDSHAKING IS
MAINTAIN NATURAL EYE CONTACT; OPTIONAL
FIRM & BRIEF HANDSHAKING, WOMAN EXTENDS HAND;
SMALL TALK IS VERY NECESSARY
  EQUALITY FOR ALL
OBSCURITY OF  CLASSLESS SOCIETY
SOCIAL
DISTINCTION

 TEND TO BE MODEST
APPRECIATION  READY TO ADMIT
EMPHASIS ON PERSONAL
WEAKNESS
 DISLIKE TO SHOW OFF
ON ACHIEVEMENT  DISLIKE TO BE
& SPORTMANSHIP CONSIDERED INFERIOR
INFORMALITY

 LADIES FIRST
COURTESY TO  APPEARING GENTLEMAN
WOMAN DESPITE BY PROTECTING AND
SERVING WOMEN
THE ADMISSION
OF WOMAN-MAN
EQUALITY
 AUTOMATIC
EXPRESSION

APPROPRIATE
COMPLIMENTS
VERBAL
RULES & STYLES:
• DIRECTNESS
• INVITATIONS
• TAKING-TURNS
COMMUNI-
CATION TRANSMIT 93% OF
ATTITUDINAL/FEELING
COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL
GESTURE
FACIAL
FORMS EXPRESSION
EYE CONTACT

CLOTHING &
SPATIAL NORMS
ACCESSORIES
RULES & STYLES OFSPEAKING
 DIRECTNESS= Compared to other languages,
American English strongly emphasizes directness in
verbal interaction, as shown in: "Don't beat around
the bush," "Let's get down to business" and "Get to
the point". Such expressions indicate impatience
with avoiding issues. However, there are limits to the
degree of directness a person is allowed to express,
especially with people of higher status such as
employers and teachers. A student should not say
"What has happened to you? You look like you
gained a lot of weight!" to his teacher. She might
reply, 'That's none of your business!"
 Different from the hosts in most Eastern countries
who are expected to offer food several times, but in
the US theymay make an offer only once or twice.
RULES & STYLES OFSPEAKING
 Invitations = a genuine invitation is extended which
is indicated by a definite plan, a specific time and
place.
Sue: It was nice talking to you.
Pat: OK, may be we can meet sometime soon.
Sue: Yeah, love to. Why don’t you drop by my house sometime?
Pat: Great. Gotta go. See ya soon.

Jane: Before you leave for your vacation can we get together and
have lunch?
Theo: Sure, I'd love to,
Jane: How about Friday? Say about 12:30 at my place?
Theo: That sounds good. See you then.
RULES & STYLES OFSPEAKING
 SPEAKING & REFRAINING: Many Americans
interpret silence in a conversation to mean
disapproval, disagreement, or unsuccessful
communication. They often try to fill silence by
saying something even if they have nothing to say!
On the other hand, they don't appreciate a person
who dominates a conversation. It’s better to wait
until someone has finished a sentence before we
contribute to a discussion. Interrupting someone
who is speaking is considered rude in the U.S. Even
children are taught explicitly not to interrupt.
 MAKING
COMPLIMENTS
 TIPPING

 Tipping (as gratuity)=giving a small amount of money to

another person for a service.
 These are the most often tipped services:
SERVICES TIP AMOUNT
waiter/waitress 15% of food bill
porters $1 - $2 per bag
barbers/hairdressers 15% of bill
taxi drivers 10% - 15% of fare, no more than
$1
room service at a hotel 50 cents - $1
food delivery persons no less than $1
 RULES FOR TIPPING

 DON’T TIP police officers, physicians,

government employees or University
employees. It may be interpreted as a bribe,
which is illegal.

 DON’T TIP bus drivers, theatre ushers,

museum guides, salespeople, employees at
fast food restaurants or hotel clerks
 GIFTS
 Gifts are commonly given to relatives and close
friends.
 Gifts are sometimes given to people with whom
one has a casual but friendly relationship, such as a
host or hostess.
 A gift is not necessary or even common to be given
to teachers or others who hold official positions.
The offering of gifts in these situations is
sometimes interpreted as a possibly improper
effort to gain favorable treatment from that person.
 CLASSIFICATION OF NONVERBAL MESSAGES

NONVERBAL MESSAGES

AUDITIV NONVISUAL
VISUAL NONAUDITIF
E
Some Popular Emoticons
(in Computer or SMS)
Relationships and Proxemic Distances