Chapter 8

Explain Partnering and Marriage

Formation
 Explanation of partner selection
• Individual Explanation: instinctive/biological
Parental image theory: oedipus complex and Electra
complex
Complementary needs: when marry for love, needs
are complementary (empirically supported?)
• Sociocultural Explanations: cultural and
structural factors:
value theory: share similar value orientation
critical thinking: men’s value vs women’s
value
role consensus theory: definitions, meanings and
social expectations on the relationship.
exchange theory: transaction and bargaining:
purposive and goal oriented partner selection. (male
purpose vs female purpose in dating?)
sequential theories: place factors in sequence:
 The Process
• Cultural differences and changes
• The U.S.: male-female game: different rules and
goals for male and female
• Dating: family control vs individual control: nonegalitarian
mode
• The principle of least interest: the party who is
less interested in continuing the dating relationship is in a
position to dominate and possibly exploit the other party.
• Or hooking up?
•
• Engagement
• wedding expenses
• Marriage? Neolocal , patrilocal , matrilocal,
Filter Theories of mate selection:
society defines our fields of eligibles
and then the forces give way to
individual need fulfillment or
interactional process of attraction.
• Wheel theory of love: process of attraction
and relationship is dependent of
sociocultural influence.
Social script: a set of procedural
norms and expectations that guide
the behaviors of actors in the
process.

• For example: in the 19th century, social

categories clearly defined for dating and
courtship
• today: lack social scripts: more flexible,
individual and ambiguous: varieties of dating
and match-making
 Social construction of Love:
critical thinking: how people get it?

• Shaped and interpreted within sociocultural context:

• Multidimensional: emotional, cognitive, relational, and
behavioral
• Varieties: Eros and Agape
• game
• Spiritual
• Courtly love
• Romantic love:
• Love marriage: androgynous love and confluent love
• Passionate love vs companionate love
•
 Nonmarital Cohabitation
• How many: about 5 million, almost 300%
increase in past 2 decades
• Being institutionalized as a step between dating
and marriage
• Why? Financial?

• Family life: share of housework, partner abuse,

exclusivity, children, levels of commitment,
happiness.
• Trial marriage increases marital stability?
 Socio-Cultural Context of
Non-Marital Relationships
• Love is a socially constructed concept because
it takes on different meanings, importance, and
behaviors according to the social context in
which it is used.

• Love that supports marriage and family has

emotional, cognitive, and behavioral aspects.
 From Single to Married
• The process is youth-centered and competitive.

• It occurs in a series of stages with differing

commitment levels.

• The rules, goals, and strategies of the “game” are

different for males and females.

• Communication often takes the form of nonverbal

cues, signs, gestures and other symbolic
movements.
 Hooking Up and Dating
• Traditional dating is becoming more infrequent.

• Hooking up, physical contact or intercourse without

commitment, is becoming more common.

• Hanging out in a group where individuals do not

make their interests in each other explicit is also
becoming the norm.
 Hooking up and Dating
• New forms of partner connections, such as Internet
chat rooms or personals ads are emerging.
• Dating scripts still tend to be fairly traditional, with
men exerting greater control.
• Waller’s Principle of Least Interest suggests that the
partner who is less interested in continuing the
relationship controls the relationship.
 Engagement
• Engagement is the final transition in the
process from single to married.

• It is a ritual that:
– Implies dating exclusiveness;
– Reinforces the importance of the couple
relationship; and
– Involves a financial and symbolic commitment.
 Non-Marital Cohabitation
• Non-marital cohabitation has become an
important step in the courtship process.
• In 2000, there were 4.5 million unmarried
heterosexual couple households in the U.S.
• More than half of first unions in the 1990’s
were cohabiting, rather than marriage.
 Methodological Concerns
• Self-selection bias may influence findings on
cohabitation.

• The meanings of cohabitation are less clear

than the meanings of marriage.
 Interactional Patterns
• Compared to married persons, cohabitors:
– Have more liberal gender roles;
– Are more likely to keep finances separate;
– Less likely to own homes;
– More likely to experience relationship violence;
– Have a lower desire to marry; and
– Are less likely to ever marry.
 Cohabitation and
Marital Stability
• Cohabitation does not serve as a successful
trial for marriage.

• Married couples who cohabited previously

report lower-quality marriages and are more
likely to divorce.
 Cohabitation Among
the Elderly
• Cohabitation among persons over 65 has
increased.

• The advantages are similar to those

experienced by younger couples:
– Financial benefits;
– Companionship; and
– Sexual gratification.
 Cohabitation and the Law
• The trend is toward more legal protection
for partners and children.

• There is wide variation in state law.

• Cohabiting partners often experience

problems when relationships end due to
separation or death.
 Individualistic Explanations of
Partner Selection
• Instinctive and biological theories are rooted in
evolutionary instinct, genetic similarity, and
unconscious needs and drives.
• Parental image theories assume that individuals select
mates similar to their opposite-sex parent.
• Complementary needs theories assume that people
choose others who meet their psychological needs.
Socio-cultural Explanations
of Partner Selection
• Value Theory

• Role Theory

• Exchange Theory

• Sequential Theories
 Value Theory
• Assumes that interpersonal attraction is
facilitated when people share similar values.

• Sharing values validates each person and

promotes emotional satisfaction.
 Role Theory
• Posits that when role discrepancies exist,
marriage is unlikely to occur.

• Consensus about roles (such as “husband” or

“wife”) promotes unions between specific
partners.
 Exchange Theory
• Suggests that transactions or bargaining occurs
in mate selection.

• Assumes that human behavior is goal oriented

and purposive, and that individuals act to
maximize rewards or gains.
 Sequential Theories
• These theories combine roles, values, needs,
and exchanges.

• They assume that couples pass through stages

on the way to marriage.
 Stimulus-Value-Role
Theory
• Couples pass through three stages prior to
marriage.
– Stimulus–Individuals are drawn to each other
based on external characteristics.
– Value–If mutual attraction occurs, partners
compare values.
– Role–If values are similar, partners begin to
confide in each other, fulfill tasks, and evaluate
each other as potential spouses.