Etiquette Lunch

Agenda
• Why Manners Matter
• General Social and Dining Etiquette Rules
• The formal table setting
• Serving Food, Passing Dishes
• Table Manners
• Eating
• Tipping

“Good manners have much to do with emotions. To make

them ring true, one must feel them, not merely exhibit them.”
Amy Vanderbilt. 2
 Video
“Good manners will
open doors that the
best education
cannot…”Clarence
Thomas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unXKYK0uRJ8
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 Why Manners Matter

“Manners are kindness. And people respond to

kindness.” Audrey Hepburn 4
General Etiquette Rules: Greeting
• When meeting someone…
– rise if you are seated
– smile and extend your hand
– repeat the other person’s name in your greeting

• Name Tag should be placed on the right

hand side of your front shoulder area.

“Don’t tell your friends about your indigestion. ‘How are you?’ is a
greeting, not a question.” Arthur Guiterman 5
 General Etiquette Rules: Seating
• Keep up-to-date on current events in your industry
• Tables are for food and utensils
• Turn off your cell phone

“Respect for ourselves guides our

morals/ respect for others guides
our manners.” Lawerence Sterne
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 General Etiquette Rules: Seating

• Keep elbows off the table. Keep your left hand

in your lap unless you are using it.
• Guests should do their best to mingle and
make light conversation with everyone.
• Talk about cheerful, pleasant things at the
table.

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” Eric Hoffer 7

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General Etiquette Rules: Utensils
• Silverware should not touch the tablecloth once used.
• Place knife at the top of the dinner plate, facing in, after use.
• Do not "play with" your food or utensils.

Hospitality is making your guests feel at

home, even if you wish they were. ~Author
Unknown 9
General Etiquette Rules: Using
Utensils

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 General Etiquette Rules: Passing
• Pass food from the left to the right.
• If another diner asks for the salt or pepper, pass
both together, even if a table mate asks for
only one of them.

Treat everyone with politeness, even those

who are rude to you - not because they are
nice, but because you are. ~Author
Unknown 11
 General Etiquette Rules: Passing
• Set any passed item directly on the table instead of passing
hand-to-hand.
• Never intercept a pass. Snagging a roll out of the breadbasket
or taking a shake of salt when it is en route to someone else is a
no-no.
• Always use serving utensils to serve yourself, not your personal
silverware.
• Butter, spreads, or dips should be transferred from the serving
dish to your plate before spreading or eating.

Courtesies cannot be borrowed like snow

shovels; you must have some of your
own. ~John Wanamaker
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 General Etiquette Rules: Eating
• Do NOT talk with food in your mouth!
• Loud eating noises such as slurping and burping are very
impolite.
• Always taste your food before seasoning it.
• Always scoop food, using the proper utensil, away from you.

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 General Etiquette Rules: Eating Continued

• Cut only enough food for the next mouthful (cut no more than
two bites of food at a time).
• Don't make an issue if you don't like something or can't eat it –
keep silent.
• Break your bread into small bites and then butter it.

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 General Etiquette Rules: Finished Eating

• When you are finished eating do not push your plate away from
you.
• When dining with others, everyone should start and finish at the
same time.
• To signal that your are done with the course, rest your fork, tines
up, and knife blade in, with the handles resting at five o'clock
and tips pointing to ten o'clock on your plate

Etiquette means behaving

yourself a little better than is
absolutely essential. Will Cuppy
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 General Etiquette Rules: General Tips

• Sit straight and try not to lean on the table.

• Don't clean up spills with your own napkin.

• Say "Excuse me," or "I'll be right back," before leaving the table.
Do not say that you are going to the restroom.

• Whenever a woman leaves the table or returns to sit, all men

seated with her should stand up.

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." - Mark Twain

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 General Etiquette Rules: Common Problems
• Be discrete if you have problem with the food.
• Remove food the same way it went in-on silverware.
• Excuse yourself, if you have to leave the table.
• Turn your head from the table when you cough or sneeze.
• If someone uses your bread plate; Do not use the bread plate
on your right as a replacement.

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 Time to Practice

• Practice what you have learned and

discuss with your group about the
learned material.
• Tipping and dinner party etiquette
when we return.
• Write your questions.

• Nothing is less important than which fork you use. Etiquette is

the science of living. It embraces everything. It is ethics. It is
honor. Emily Post
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 Tipping
• At a restaurant, always leave a tip. Tips
can vary from 15% to 25%.
– Waiter: 15% to 20% of the bill; 25% for
extraordinary service
– Wine steward: 15% of wine bill
– Bartender: 10% to 15% of bar bill
– Coat check: $1.00 per coat
– Car attendant: $2.00 to $5.00

• Buffets
• Cafes and coffeehouses
– 10 to 15 percent to the countertop tip jar.

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 General Etiquette Rules: Dinner Party
• Dress Code: Follow whatever dress code is requested on the
invitation or suggested by the host/hostess.

• Arrival: Arrive at least 10 minutes early

• Hostess Gift: It is proper to bring a small hostess gift, one that

the hostess is not obliged to use that evening.

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 General Etiquette Rules: Dinner Party

• Seating: At a dinner party, wait until the host or hostess sits

down before taking your seat. If the host/hostess asks you to
sit, then do.

• Thank You Note: After a formal dinner party, a thank you note
should be sent to the hostess. Depending on how well you
know your hosts, a telephone call is also acceptable.

“A little "thank you" that you will say to someone for a "little favour" shown to you is
a key to unlock the doors that hide unseen "greater favours". Learn to say "thank you"
and why not?” –Israelmore Ayivor

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 Questions

Keegan N. Nichols, Ed.D.

Assistant Vice President for
Student Affairs
Fort Hays State University
knnichols@fhsu.edu
785.628.5824
Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you’re a hermit on a mountain, you don’t have to
worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you’ve got a problem. It
matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities. Judith Martin
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