Legacies The family is our source of love and strength. From our family, we learn the basic skills in relating with others and sustaining such relationships by overcoming the conflicts and challenges. Our support mainly comes from our family. When the family is intact or emotionally supportive, we have a good chance of realizing our fullest potentials. The family is seen as a social institution that has certain important roles for society (Lamanna and Riedmann, 2009), such as meeting the needs of its members and enabling society to survive through its members who contribute significantly to the community. The family provides a source of intimate relationships among family members through familial expression of love, warmth, acceptance, and nurturance. Family Structures A family is a group of people who are related by marriage, blood, or adoption, live together, and share in the finances of its member (Thomas 2010). This definition is reflective of the NUCLEAR or TRADITIONAL FAMILY, which comprises the father, mother, and children. Filipino families are usually composed of two or more nuclear family units, which make up an EXTENDED FAMILY structure. BLENDED FAMILIES, or STEPFAMILIES- refers to a couple living with at least one child from his and her previous relationship. ADOPTIVE FAMILY- a couple who wants to take good care of a child born to others commits legally to raise and provide for the child.
SINGE-PARENT FAMILY- either the father
or the mother takes good care of one or more children, which may have resulted from death of the partner, separation, or lack of marriage. Parenting Styles Parents who favor authoritative child-rearing techniques make use of positive reinforcement and seldom use punishment. This style can be both demanding and responsive.
The authoritarian child-rearing style is
characterized by a high level of demandingness and may not be that responsive to their children’s needs. The primary important thing for them is to maintain control. Having parents who practice authoritarian child-rearing techniques means that you need to be obedient. Trust in them that they know what is best for you and that they want you to be successful in life.
Deal with them smartly because they
respond cognitively and not emotionally. You gain your parent’s respect when you abide by the house rules, focus on your goals, and work hard to realize them. Permissive or indulgent child-rearing Manifested by parents who are lenient and give their children freedom to do what they like. They make few demands on their children to take household responsibilities. Children who come from permissive family background have higher chances to become juvenile delinquents, engage in premarital sex, drugs, smoking, and alcoholic drinks, and fail in school. Having this kind of parents may result in you being too pampered or spoiled. Uninvolved parenting Refers to those who do not respond to their children’s needs or even demand from them any behavioural expectations. This family system affects the children’s social competence, academic performance, psychological development, and problem behaviour.
Rebellion against their parents can not make them
successful; rather, they decided to become better persons despite their situations. Their hard work is the key to their success. Handling Family Stressors Maintaining Healthy Relationships 8 Difficult Challenges Addition of a family member- any additional member in the family, through birth, adoption, marriage, remarriage, puts pressure or stress to the family. It involves changes in the family boundaries to make room to the new family member(s).
The loss of a family member- a temporary loss, such
as parents who need to work abroad or children studying and staying in a dormitory, creates changes in the family system which all the family members need to adjust to. The ambiguous loss of a family member is difficult to accept because there is uncertainty whether the family member is “really” gone. Sudden and unexpected changes in the family- make you feel uneasy, worried, and at times, frightened. Some changes can also cause trauma and wreak havoc in your life. Even some positive changes such as winning in an organization election or taking charge of big projects in school can cause stress.
On-going conflict in the family- having quarrels with
your siblings can be emotionally draining. You may feel alone and frustrated by this experience, and anger may escalate anytime. Your academic performances gets affected by this misunderstanding because you may not focus on your studies. Taking good care of a sick family member- takes up your family’s energies, money, and time. It means lesser time to study and fewer chances to hang out with your friends. Given the responsibilities to look after a disabled family member is also stressful.
Family experiences demoralizing events-
such as job loss, poverty, scandal, family violence, mental illness, alcoholism, drug abuse, or suicide (Grekin et al., 2005). Daily family hassles- one significant stressors for parents is balancing their work with the demands of their important roles in the family. Your parents strive to provide for the needs of each family member. Keeping you safe is also a priority for them.
Putting you in a pedestal- is a stressor that your
parents love to do for you. Each family has its own idiosyncrasies and unique characteristics. We may not be proud of some things that in our family, but we may learn to accept and love them. The family eventually rises to recognize again as emotional support is given to one another. The Factors that make Families Resilient in the midst of Adversity Positive Outlook Blaming family members for what happened, being close-minded to explanations, and being proud to say sorry only lessen the chances of viewing crisis as a challenge (Stratton, 2003). Having a positive outlook helps a person or the family deal with any difficulty situation creatively. You gain insights with each experience so that you become a stronger person. Spiritual Values and Support Groups Spirituality is said to be a comfort during difficult times (Thomas, 2005). Praying when you feel really sad or angry release pent-up emotions. It relaxes the body and the mind, which allows you to think more objectively. Open Supportive Communication Families, whose members openly and supportively interact with one another, meet difficult situations more creatively. Open communication facilitates ways to understand the stressor, and collaborative efforts are brought about from each member to cope positively with it. Adaptability Families that are capable of adapting to crises and are willing to embrace them respond more effectively to difficult situations. Thus, they are more able to bounce back from the state of disintegration to one of resilience. Informal Social Support The support that one receives from the family, as well as the support that the family receives from others, allows them to feel that there are people around them and that they are not alone.
The Art of Parenting Together: How to Be Good Parents Together by Using Dynamic Parenting to Improve Your Kid's Childhood: The Master Parenting Series, #16