CHAPTER TWO

Adaptation and the

Selection of Words

McGraw-Hill/Irwin © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Overview
Role of adaptation in selecting words
Simplifying with short and familiar words
Appropriate use of technical words and acronyms
Selection of words with appropriate strength
Use of concrete words and active voice
Achieve clarity and precision by avoiding camouflaged
verbs, selecting the right words, and using idioms correctly.
Use of words that do not discriminate
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Need for Adaptation

(fitting the message to your readers)

Do not have same

ability to understand the message
same vocabulary
same knowledge of the subject
same mentality
Thus
Know the person with whom to
communicate.
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Need for Adaptation

(fitting the message to your readers)

How to do it:
Visualize your readers
 how they think
 what they know
 their education level
 etc.

Then write for them

See example
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How to Adapt to Multiple

Readers
Write for the bottom level
Usually this means simplifying the
message
Thus, the following suggestions
stress simplification
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SUGGESTIONS FOR
SELECTING WORDS
Select words that have clear and correct meanings in
the reader’s mind.
SUGGESTIONS
Support simplicity in writing. Why?
 Many people tend to write at a difficult level.
Quote of Winston Churchill “little men use big words; big
men use little words.” Follow the example of big men.
 Writer knows subject better than the reader
 The results of research support simplicity
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Prefer the short, familiar word

to the long, unfamiliar word.
Long, Unfamiliar Words Short, Familiar Words
 Abbreviate  Shorten
 Accomplish  Do
 Approximately  About
 Ascertain  Find out
 Commence  Begin
 Considerable  Much
 Determine  Decide
 Detrimental  Harmful
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Prefer the short, familiar word

to the long, unfamiliar word.
Long, Unfamiliar Words Short, Familiar Words
 Duplicate  Copy
 Elevation  Height
 Equivalent  Equal
 Fabricate  Build
 Furnish  Give
 Indeterminate  Vague
 Indicate  Show
 Ineffectual  Useless
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Prefer the short, familiar word

to the long, unfamiliar word.
Long, Unfamiliar Words Short, Familiar Words

 Interrupt  Hinder
 Minimal  Smallest
 Modification  Change
 Proceed  Go
 Supersede  Replace
 Ultimate  Last
 Visualize  Picture
 Verification  Proof
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Illustration using familiar words

Bad example: This machine has a tendency to develop excessive and
unpleasant audio symptoms when operating at elevated
temperatures
Good example: This machine tends to get noisy when it runs hot.

Bad example: This antiquated mechanism is ineffectual for an

accelerated assembly-line operation
Good example: This old robot will not work on a fast assembly line.

Bad example: Company operations for the preceding accounting

period terminated with a substantial deficit.
Good example: The company lost much money last year.
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Illustration using short words

Bad example: They acceded to the proposition to terminate business
Good example: They agreed to quit business.

Bad example: During the preceding year the company operated at a

financial deficit
Good example: Last year the company lost money.
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Consider the strength and

vigor of words (words have personality).
Weaker Stronger
 source of great wealth  bonanza
 additional compensation  bonus
 great loss  disaster
 complete failure  fiasco
 untruth  lie
 put an end to  destroy
 Upraise  Boost
 Eminently successful  Tycoon
businessperson
 Generally declining market  bear
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Use Technical Language with Caution.

Technical Language Improved Version

Covered employment A job covered by Social
Security

Cerebral vascular Little stroke

accident

Annuity Contract that guarantees an

income for a specified period
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Use initials and acronyms

with caution.
What do these letters mean?
VCR  Video cassette recorder
FDA  Food and Drug Administration
CD  Certificate of Deposit/Compact Disc
IPO  Initial Public Offering
RV  Recreational Vehicle
NATO  North Atlantic Treaty Organization
IRS  Internal Revenue Service
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Prefer the concrete to
the abstract.
Abstract
We have found that this technique is
successful.
Your department may hire some
new employees.
We will ship your order soon.
Each of the branch managers will
receive a substantial pay raise.
This procedure requires a constant
low temperature.
Concrete
Our research shows that 87 percent of
those using this technique are successful.
Your department may hire three new
stock clerks.
We will ship the Moss No. 41 desk sets
you ordered October 12 by Arrow Freight
on October 15.
Each of the branch managers will
received a 15 percent pay raise.
This process requires a constant
temperature of 10 degrees centigrade.
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Prefer the active to the passive.
Passive
It is believed that the bill was
padded.
Your report was read by the
president.
The profit and loss statement is
prepared by the treasurer each
month.
It is suggested that you clean the
element in warm, soapy water.
It is desired that every effort be
made to have this matter brought to
the attention of the manager.
Active
I believe they padded the bill.
The president read your report.
The treasurer prepares the profit and
loss statement each month.
We suggest that you clean the
element in warm, soapy water.
Mr. Wong wants you to bring this
matter to the attention of the
manager.
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Passive voice is not incorrect

 When identifying the doer of the action is unimportant

Example: Advertising is often criticized for its effect on price.
 Helps avoid accusing the reader
Example: The color desired was not specified in the order.
 When the performer is unknown
Example: During the past year, the equipment has been sabotaged
seven times
 When the writer prefers not to name the performer
Example: Two complaints have been made about you.
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Prefer strong verbs to verbs
camouflaged as nouns.
Camouflaged Verb
. . . make a classification . . .
. . . make a computation . . .
. . . conduct an exploration . . .
. . . provide information . . .
. . . engage in negotiation . . .
. . . make an observation . . .
. . . provide representation . . .
Strong Verb
. . . classify . . .
. . . compute . . .
. . . explore . . .
. . . inform . . .
. . . negotiate . . .
. . . observe . . .
. . . represent . . .
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Prefer strong verbs to verbs

camouflaged as nouns.
Camouflaged Verb Strong Verb

Cancellation of the order was made We canceled the order on the 12th.
on the 12th.
Elimination of the deficit was brought The change eliminated the deficit.
about by the change.
The management of this office is Ms. Brown manages this office.
conducted by Ms. Brown.
Distribution of the special equipment The safety officer distributed the
was accomplished by the safety special equipment.
officer.
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Choose the precise word.

The committee (comprises) (constitutes) representatives from
all four sales districts.
This building site cost a large (sum) (amount) of money.
She was (notorious) (noted) for her concern for the poor.
The management of this store is independent (of) (from) the
main office.
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Choose the precise word.

Learn the specific meanings of other words.
Fewer: smaller number of items
Less: reduced value
Affect: to influence
Effect: result
Use feel to express physical contact, perception. Do not
use it as a substitute for believe or think.
Continual to mean “repeated but broken succession”
Continuous to mean “unbroken succession”
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Suggestions for
Nondiscriminatory Writing
Discriminatory words: words that do not treat all people
equally and with respect.
Avoid Gender-Neutral pronouns by
 rewording to eliminate the offending word,
 making the reference plural, and
 substituting a neutral expression (he or she, he/she,
s/he, you, one, person).
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Reword to eliminate the offending word.

Gender Biased Gender Neutral

We will reimburse any employee We will reimburse any employee for

who paid his travel expenses.
If a customer pays promptly, he
is placed on our preferred list.
A physician should treat his
patients with respect.
travel expenses paid.
A customer who pays promptly is
placed on our preferred list.
A physician should treat patients with
respect.
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Make the reference plural.
Gender Biased
If a customer pays promptly, he is
placed on our preferred list.
When an unauthorized employee
enters the security area, he is subject
to dismissal.
A supervisor is not responsible for
such losses if he is not negligent.
When a customer needs service, it is
her right to ask for it.
Gender Neutral
If customers pay promptly, they are
placed on our preferred list.
When unauthorized employees enter
the security area, they are subject to
dismissal.
Supervisors are not responsible for
such losses if they are not negligent.
When customers need service, they
have the right to ask for it.
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Substitute a neutral expression.
Gender Biased
If a customer pays promptly, he is
placed on our preferred list.
When an unauthorized employee
enters the security area, he is subject
to dismissal.
A supervisor is not responsible for
such losses if he is not negligent.
When a customer needs service, it is
her right to ask for it.
Gender Neutral
If a customer pays promptly, he or she
is placed on our preferred list.
When an unauthorized employee
enters the security area, he/she is
subject to dismissal.
A supervisor is not responsible for
such losses if s/he is not negligent.
When service is needed, one has the
right to ask for it.
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Avoid words with a

masculine origin.
Gender Biased Gender Neutral
man-made manufactured, of human origin
manpower personnel, workers
congressman representative, member of Congress
businessman business executive, businessperson
mailman letter carrier, mail carrier
policeman police officer
fireman fire fighter
cameraman camera operator
waiter/waitress server
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Avoid words that lower one’s status.

Instead of Use
 my girl  my secretary
 male nurse  nurse
 male secretary  secretary
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Generally avoid words that stereotype by

 Race
 A generous Jew
 a hard-working African-American
 Neatly dressed Hispanic man
 Age
 Senior citizens, old person,
 teenagers
 Disability
 deaf and dumb
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“Why use two words when one will do.”

--Thomas Jefferson