Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
1) Proximity
2) Similarity
3) Reciprocity
4) Physical attractiveness
• Sexual Variety
– communication is critical
– be spontaneous
– plan for intimate time
– don't worry about frequency "standards"
The Importance of Communication
– Embarrassment
Talking: Getting Started
(not just for the beginning of a relationship, though)
– Talk about talking
• Why is it hard to talk; is it hard for both partners? What might make
it easier to talk about sex?
– Use the news & current events
• Talking about a news story, or (maybe something that you learned
in this class!) can be a less personal, less threatening way of
starting a conversation about sex.
– Read & discuss:
• the written word may be easier, less threatening
• Books, articles, etc.; fun web site: http://www.nerve.com/regulars/
– Share sexual histories
• Ask questions; could be about sexual experiences, or about sex
education in your partner’s upbringing
Listening and Feedback
• Active listening
– Actively communicating that you are both listening to and
interested in what your partner is saying.
– Includes attentive body language & facial expressions,
asking questions, commenting, encouraging partner to
continue, etc.
• Maintain eye contact
• Provide feedback
– Verbal reaction to message; ensures you have interpreted
message correctly, lets your partner know how you feel in
response.
Listening and Feedback
• Support communication efforts
– “I’m glad you told me how you really feel.” “Thanks for
caring enough to tell me what is on your mind.”
• Unconditional positive regard
– Conveying to partner that you will still value and care for
him/her regardless of what s/he says.
• Paraphrasing
– Listener summarizes the speaker’s message in his or her
own words.
– Several attempts to paraphrase correctly may be
necessary.
Discovering Your Partner's Needs
• Asking questions is very important--some ways of asking
questions are more effective than others.
– Yes/no questions least informative
• Self-disclosure
– disclosure elicits disclosure
– sharing of sexual fantasies can be exciting and
informative
– increases sexual satisfaction