INTERPERSONAL

BEHAVIOUR
 Definition
 In the contexts of sociology and of
popular culture, the concept of
interpersonal relationships involves
social associations, connections, or
affiliations between two or more people.
Such persons may interact overtly,
covertly, face-to-face; or may remain
effectively unknown to each other.
 Stages of Interpersonal relationship
1) Contact:
a) Perceptual: noticing how parties look at each other and their
body-language.
b) Interactional cues: nodding, maintaining eye-contact, etc.
c) Invitational: encouraging the potential relationship
d) Avoidance strategies: if one person discloses and the other does
not: minimal response, lack of eye-contact, etc.
2) Involvement:
a) Feelers: hints or questions (for example: asking about family)
b) Intensifying strategies: furthering the relationship (for example
meeting an old friend, bringing the other to meet family, becoming
more affectionate, etc.)
c) Public: parties seen in public together often
3) Intimacy: Parties very close; may have exchanged some sort of
personal belonging or something that represents further
commitment.
4) Deterioration: Things start to fall apart. The way deterioration is
addressed determines the fate of the relationship.
 Interpersonal Skills
A set of behaviours which allow you to
communicate effectively and
unambiguously in a face-to- face setting

 Theycan also be thought of as behaviours

which assist progress towards achieving
an objective
 Benefits of improving interpersonal
Skills

 Quickly assessing and understanding face-to-face

situations
 Setting specific and realistic objectives for face-to-face
encounters with people - you will benefit from being clear
in what you are aiming at
 Choosing and using behaviours that complement the
circumstances and are appropriate to the objective - thus
benefiting by having an easier, and pleasant, means to
achieving your objective
 Being aware of other people’s behaviour and influencing
it - influencing others by your own behaviour
Transactional Analysis
What is Transactional Analysis?
TA is a theory about how and why
people behave the way they do

Transactional analysis is a social

psychology developed by Eric Berne,
MD (1970). Transactional Analysis is a
powerful tool in the hands of
organizational development specialists.
 TA can help you
 Respond to a person and situation more
appropriately
 Build rapport
 Understand someone else’s needs
 Deal more effectively with difficult people
 Be assertive
 Understand how you behave and why
 Ego States
 An EGO state is a consistent pattern of feeling and
experience, related to a corresponding pattern of behavior
E.Berne states that each person has 3 Ego States
 The Parent
 The Adult
 The Child

A transaction is the basic unit of study of TA. The

transaction (or interaction) when two people meet is the
meeting place of six ego states (P-A-C plus P-A-C).
 The Parent State
 The Parent State is a collection of
attitudes, thoughts and behaviors
which we have accumulated
 The Parent
 The Critical Parent  Nurturing Parent
Gives us directions and Protects and
controls and limits our encourages, provides
behavior care and love
“should, ought, must, “there, there sweetie;
never Try again. It’s all right”
Recognizing the Parent State
A person in a NP stated is likely
 Use words such as well-done, good, gentle,
caring, don't worry
 Use a loving, caring, comforting or concerned
tone of voice
 Use open, encouraging gestures, smiling,
leaning forward, nodding of head
 Have a caring, understanding attitude
 Recognizing the Parent State
A person in CP state may:
 Use words , such as bad, should, ought, must, always,
ridiculous, unacceptable
 Use a patronizing, critical or disapproving tone of
voice
 Use aggressive gestures
 Come across as judgmental, authoritarian
 Be intimidating or controlling
 The Adult State
 The Adult State are behaviors oriented
to current reality and objective
gathering information. The Adult is
logical & rational
 Recognizing the Adult State
A person in Adult ego State is likely to
 Speak in an even voice
 Have an erect posture and use open gestures
 Be alert and thoughtful about a problem they are
facing
 Clarify the situation by careful questioning
 Hypothesize and process information
 Use words like correct, how, what, why,
practical, quality
 The Child State
Child ego state constitutes the emotional,
creative, spontaneous & impulsive
component of personality. There are three
forms of child ego state natural, creative &
adaptive
Natural child Adaptive child
Impulsive and Submissive and
carefree, conforming behaviors,
communicating Looking for approval and
reassurance
through feeling
behaviors
 Recognizing the Child State
A person in a natural child state
 Use words as wow, great, ouch, want
 Talk loudly, energetically, free of constraint
 Use spontaneous gestures and expressions
 Be curious, fun-loving, changeable
 Recognizing the Child State
A person in adaptive child state may
 Use words such as can’t, try, hope,
please, perhaps, wish
 Sound sulky whinny, placating
 Come across as innocent, helpless, sad,
scared
 Act in a defiant, ashamed or compliant
way
People generally exhibit all three Ego
states.
All three Ego states are necessary to
healthy personality
 Transactions between Ego States

 When we are communicating with another

person (verbally or nonverbally) we are
carrying out a transaction with them.
We are both sending messages and
receiving them
 Types of Transaction
 Complementary transactions
 Crossed transactions
 Ulterior transactions
 Complementary transactions
 Transactions are complementary if the message sent
receives the expected response from the other
person’s ego state. The simplest kind of transaction
is the complementary transaction, where the arrows
showing the communication of ego states with one
another are parallel. Here the communication
continues along the parallel lines between
individuals.
Examples
 Parent-parent
 Parent-child
 Adult-adult
 Child-child
 Child-parent
 Crossed transactions
A crossed transaction occurs when the
message sent by one person’s ego state
reacted to by an incompatible unexpected
ego state on the part of the other person. In
this type of communication, the vectors
cross and communication ceases at that
point of time. Crossed transactions inhibit
creativity, free thinking and social
interaction.
 Ulterior transactions
 Ulterior transactions always involve at least
two ego states on the part of one person. An
ulterior transaction. is what Berne also calls
a two-level or angular transaction. In such a
transaction, the speaker speaks as if to one
ego state, but is in fact covertly addressing
another.

Ulterior transactions have a hidden agenda

 JOHARI WINDOW
 A Johari window is a cognitive psychological tool
created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955 in
the United States, used to help people better
understand their interpersonal communication and
relationships.

 Luft and Ingham observed that there are aspects of

our personality that we're open about, and other
elements that we keep to ourselves. At the same
time, there are things that others see in us that we're
not aware of. As a result, we can draw up a four-box
grid, which includes a fourth group of traits that are
unknown to anyone:
 The public area (Room 1) contains things that are
openly known and talked about - and which may be
seen as strengths or weaknesses. This is the self that
we choose to share with others
 The hidden area (Room 2) contains things that others
observe that we don't know about. Again, they could
be positive or negative behaviours, and will affect the
way that others act towards us.
 The unknown area (Room 3) contains things that
nobody knows about us - including ourselves. This
may be because we've never exposed those areas of
our personality, or because they're buried deep in the
subconscious.
 The private area (Room 4)contains aspects of our self
that we know about and keep hidden from others.
