Religions Role: Marriage and Parenting in Daily Life and during Family Crises

Elizabeth Anderson Laurie Barwick Lianna Bennett

Video Clip: How to end an Argument/Conflict Resolution

http://www.youtube.com/watch ?v=T6Ggdr-whl0

Vignette
Mary and John, a Christian couple who have been married for 15 years are seeking therapy for marital conflict, particularly disagreements over how to raise their children (14 year old son, 10 year old daughter). Mary believes that the children should have strict rules and that Johns parenting style is permissive. John believes that Marys parenting style is too harsh and that the children should be allowed to make their own decisions. Mary and John find themselves arguing over topics such as discipline, church attendance, and values.

Based on this vignette, what are some things as a clinician you would want to know or assess for?

Assess individual religious affiliation (Fundamentalist, Liberal, etc ) Assess individual values Assess individual parenting style Assess for mental illness and other psychological factors (e.g. neuroticism)

Why Religion?
Gallup poll in 1995 of US families:
 65% of mothers & 57% of fathers stated religion to be very or extremely important in their lives (Mahoney et al., 1999)  About 90% of individuals in the US want religious training for their children (Gallup & Castelli, 1989)

Yet, there is little theory or research on the role of religion in family

Religion and Family Life Overview

Marital Functioning Transition to Parenthood Parenting of Children Parenting of Adolescents Parental Gender and Family Life

Marital Functioning
Global Marital Satisfaction:  Greater involvement in religion appears to be tied to spouses being satisfied with marriage  Mahoney et al. (2001) found that church attendance more frequently covaried with greater marital satisfaction (r = .07), and that religion being personally relevant related to greater marital satisfaction (r = .15)  Two moderators for links between religion and marital satisfaction:
First, Sullivan (2001) found that if partners portray healthy behavior (mental health), religion could increase marital satisfaction; however, couples with a partner in distress or neurotic might experience an increase in marital difficulties Second, Mahoney et al. (2001) found that religiousness on a personal level is very predictive of marital happiness for people attending church

Marital Functioning contd

Marital Commitment:
 Mahoney et al. (2001) found that greater individual religiousness is consistently tied with greater marital commitment; and couples sharing religious affiliation, church attendance, and/or beliefs have been repeatedly tied to greater marital commitment  Larson & Goltz (1989) and Wilson & Musick (1996) found that greater church attendance relates to marital commitment, after accounting for demographic factors and marital/family satisfaction

Marital Functioning contd

Marital Verbal Conflict/Conflict Resolution Strategies:

 Oggins (2003) found that couples rarely directly argue about religion  Mahoney et al. (2001) found that the frequency of marital disputes is unrelated to personal religiousness, thus not validating the notion that more religious people tolerate conflict to stay together; also, couples look at religion for guidance in how to resolve conflict if it erupts  Brody et al. (1994) found that greater religiousness was related to better marital communication skills  In sum, research suggests that greater religiousness can be linked to better communication patterns and less marital conflict

Transition to Parenthood
Krishnan (1993) found that greater church attendance is tied to higher birth rates Becker and Hofmeister (2001) found that the birth of a child may cause a transformation in the spirituality of parents; for example, mothers attending church more frequently Palkovitz (2002) found that men were prompted for religious introspection or religious involvement due to the birth or presence of children Also, some studies imply that religion may serve as a source of protection for marriages that are transitioning into parenthood. Wilcox and Wolfinger (2003) found that churchgoing mothers received higher levels of support from their husbands and were in less conflict with the father of their children, such as over sexual infidelity. The mothers were also more likely to be married at the time of the birth of the child and were highly committed to marriage.

Parenting of Children
Discipline Practices:  Most of the research on parenting and religion has focused on whether or not Christian conservatism is tied to corporal punishment  Mahoney et al. (2001) found that adults affiliated with Christian groups that are conservative and hold literalistic beliefs about the Bible are more likely to value children being obedient and also believe in corporal punishment. However, most of the research about these attitudes has not focused on parents  Mahoney et al. (2001) found that the actual use of corporal punishment among Christian conservatives related to spanking of preadolescents indicated a correlation of r = .09, which was about half as strong as attitudinal links found in general samples of adults  Thus, it is important to realize that the degree to which parents hold to biblical literalism (e.g. The Bible should be taken literally, word for word) or Christian fundamentalism (e.g. All the answers to humanitys problems can be found in Gods Word), is more critical in predicting parents adherence to corporal punishment than merely being a member of a Christian conservative group, as the aforementioned variables mediate the link between corporate punishment and religious denomination  Research has also indicated that more liberal Christians are less inclined to using corporal punishment

Parenting of Children contd

Warmth and Effective Parenting of Children:
 
Many studies indicate that religion may be tied to parental warmth, family cohesiveness and more effective parenting Brody et al. (1994) stated that a mothers religiousness was related to better skills in parenting, less coparenting conflict, and better marital quality; also, fathers who were more religious were also related to less coparenting conflict and better marital quality Wilcox (1998) found that parents with theological conservative views of the Bible were more inclined to frequent hugging and praising of their children. Wilcox (2002) also found that these conservative parents were less likely to yell at their children In sum, studies seem to indicate that more conservative parents who are more inclined to spanking are also likely to be warmer toward their children, especially when viewing their parenting as a sacred calling

Parenting of Adolescents
Research:
 
Sherkat (2003) found that the adoption of religious beliefs and practices by teenagers was influenced by greater parental religiousness Personal religiousness of adolescents also appears to be consistently tied with lower rates of premarital sexuality, delinquency and substance use (Donahue & Benson, 1995) No empirical research that addresses the correlation between religion and physical discipline of teenagers Links between corporal punishment and Christianity appear to be present only in families of younger children However, studies regarding religious parents trying to control their teens indicate that high levels of parental religiousness may not be effective for sons who resist their behavior being controlled, while control might be more effective for daughters

Discipline Practices:
  

Parenting of Adolescents contd

Warmth and Positivity:
 Research indicates that religion facilitates positive relationships between parents and teenagers  Pearce and Axinn (1998) found that mothers level of religiousness when their teenagers were 18-years-old predicted more positive relationships with their children when their children were 23, as reported by both mothers and children

Parental Gender and Family Life

Fathers:  National surveys have indicated that fathers who indicated high church attendance also reported a higher involvement in youth activities (Wilcox, 2002)  King (2003) found that fathers who are more religious indicated higher quality of relationships with their children, felt obligation, and positive expectations of future relationship Mothers:  Research has primarily been focused on AfricanAmerican and Mexican American women  These studies suggest that religious faith can facilitate the well-being of mothers struggling with challenging circumstances (e.g. single parenting), as well as facilitate adaptive parenting

Religion and Family Crises Overview

Divorce Domestic Violence Marital Infidelity Child Physical Abuse Parenting a Child with Special Needs Child Psychopathology

Divorce
Religion as a protective factor Religious affiliation vs. no affiliation Frequent church attendance But what happens when divorce does occur in religious families?

(Mahoney et al., 2001)

Domestic Violence
Overall, religion appears to be protective factor against marital violence 3 large scale studies exist Frequent churchgoers 50% less likely to experience or use marital physical aggression than infrequent churchgoers Degree of religiousness as a factor What about toxic faith?

(Fergusson, et al., 1986; Ellison et al., 1999)

Marital Infidelity
Interesting fact!! Scarce research exists on religion and sexual attitudes and behaviors within marriage Most research deals with premarital sex Few studies on married couples found sexual infidelity to be distressing for more religious couples Greater church attendance has been linked with greater disapproval of extramarital sex in the U.S., West Germany, and Poland
(Scott, 1998)

Marital Infidelity contd

Overall, research implies that more religious people hold higher expectations of sexual monogamy and would feel guilt-ridden if engaged in sexual infidelity Research implies this! These speculations have yet to be empirically confirmed.

Child Physical Abuse

In contrast to findings on corporal punishment, current research does not support the idea of greater religiousness encouraging child physical abuse Longitudinal study- 1975 Overall, it is unclear what specific religious beliefs buffer or exacerbate parents use of excessive physical force with child

(Brown, Cohen, Johnson, & Salzinger, 1998)

Parenting a Child with Special Needs

Primarily descriptive and qualitative studies Focuses on how families rely on religion to cope with children with a developmental disability or serious illness Positive forms of religious coping Benevolent reappraisals (study found that 71% of Latino mothers viewed their disabled child as a gift from God)  Religious rituals & practices (prayer, attending church, pilgrimages to holy places)

(Skinner et al., 1999; Bailey et al., 1999)

Parenting a Child with Special Needs contd

Research largely involves only mothers Dollahite et al. (1998, 2002, 2004) found that fathers religious beliefs, religious practices, and religious communities facilitated meaningful father-child relationships among Latter-Day Saint families with special needs children

Child Psychopathology
Research indicates that global markers of greater parental and familial religiousness are linked to better child psychological adjustment What occurs when religious families do have a child with a psychopathology? Certain religious beliefs and practices could exacerbate as well as buffer maladjustment of clinically distressed youth

(Mahoney et al., 2001; Strawbridge et al., 1998)

Emerging Constructs to Advance Research

There is a need to facilitate family adjustment during normal family life changes Sanctification= perceiving an aspect of life as having divine significance and character
 Theistic Sanctification  Nontheistic Sanctification

(Pargament & Mahoney, 2005; Mahoney et al., 2003)

Sanctification contd
Research on sanctification suggest that viewing an aspect of life in a sacred lens has 4 important implications  Major investments  Spiritual resources  Spiritual emotions  Spiritual benefits

(Pargament & Mahoney, 2005; Mahoney et al., 2003)

Counterproductive Constructs and Divorce

Sacred Loss and Desecration Spiritual Guilt Demonization Theistic Triangulation

(Mahoney, 1999; Pargament et al., 2005; Mahoney et al., 2003; Butler & Harper, 1994)

Religious Resources to Recover From Family Crises

Family-Based Religious Practices and Rituals:  Butler, Stout, and Garner (2002) found that religious couples who have been married for a long time say they engage in religious practices together (such as praying) to resolve marital conflict Theistic Mediation:  For instance, God (or other supernatural forces) are included in a dyadic relationship to help mediate conflict as a third party to the relationship  Butler and Harper (1994) have found this process to be effective in case examples of marriage  Yanni (2003) also found that parents and their children who included God as a mediator experienced fewer conflicts, better communication and higher relationship satisfaction

Assessment
ARE WE WALKING WITH THE SAME MORAL COMPASS?

How to Address Disagreements

Relationship Enhancement Therapy Skill based therapy with goal of emotional engagement Focus is on recognizing and taking ownership of feelings. Learn to avoid making judgments or accusations, and avoid asking questions while listening. Instead, acknowledge underlying feelings that motivate your spouses expressions and actions. Goal is to become less judgmental and to focus on softening, which refers to a change in the hardness of the quality of confrontation. (Ginsberg, 2000)

PAUSE
A biblical approach to negotiation Prepare (pray, get the facts, seek godly counsel, develop options) Affirm relationships (show genuine concern and respect for others) Understand interests (identify others' concerns, desires, needs, limitations, or fears) Search for creative solutions (prayerful brainstorming) Evaluate options objectively and reasonably (evaluate, don't argue) (Sande, 2006)

References
Brown, J., Cohen, P., Johnson, J., & Salzinger, S. (1998). A longitudinal analysis of risk factors for child maltreatment: findings of a 17-year prospective study of officially recorded and self-reported child abuse and neglect. Child Abuse and Neglect, 22, 1065-1078. Butler, M. H. & Harper, J.M. (1994). The divine triangle: God in the marital system of religious couples. Family Process, 33, 277-286. Ginsberg, B. G. (2000). Relationship enhancement couples therapy. In F. M. Dattilio & L. Bevilacqua (Eds.), Comparative treatments of relationship dysfunction. New York: Springer. Mahoney, A., Tarakeshwar, N. (2005). Religions role in marriage and parenting in daily life and during family crises. In Paloutzian, R., & Park, C. (Ed.), Handbook of the psychology of religion and spirituality (pp.177-195). New York: Guilford. Sande, K. (2006). The peacemaker: A biblical guide to resolving personal conflict. Grand Rapids: Baker Books.