Dispute Resolution and Conflict Management

Human Capital Conference

Pete Swanson Carr Swanson & Randolph, LLC March 14, 2005
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Learning Objectives
1. Identify how style impacts behaviors, 2. Learn approaches for dealing with divergent styles

When dealing with difficult behaviors, what is your role as a supervisor?

Traffic cop Teacher Counselor Disciplinarian Friend Mentor ??

People

Maybe Options
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10 Classic Problem Types

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. The Tank The Sniper The Grenade The Know-It-All The Think-TheyKnow-It- All 6. The Yes Person 7. The Maybe Person 8. The Nothing Person 9. The No Person 10. The Whiner

Adapted from Dealing With People You Cant Stand, Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner

From the Norm to the Extreme

People Who Must Get It Right -Perfectionist Whiner No Person Nothing Person People Who Must Get It Done -Controlling Sniper Tank Know-it-all

Task Focus

Passive

Normal Zone
People Focus

Aggressive

People Who Must Get Along -Approval-Seeking Yes person Maybe person Nothing person

People Who Must Get Appreciated -Attention Seeking Grenade Sniper Think-they-know-it-all

From Conflict to Cooperation

Essential Skills
Neutralizing
Any action that neutralizes negative behavior in order to meet them where they are and move to common ground

Redirecting
Any behavior that changes the direction of an interaction. Neutralizing precedes redirecting.

Neutralizing
Neutralize with body and facial expressions Neutralize vocally with volume and speed Dont Engage -- Probe! Listen to understand -- it is not mine or theirs
Empathize Backtrack Clarify Summarize what youve heard Confirm to make sure you got it right

Redirecting
Identify positive intent
Their point is valid Apply Positive Intent to
Getting the job done Getting the job done right Getting along with others Getting appreciation

Speak to be Understood
Assertion vs. Aggression -- monitor your tone of voice State your intention Tactfully control interruptions Tell your truth
Use I language Be specific about the problem behavior (impact) Help them understand how their behavior is self defeating Suggest new behaviors or options

Stay flexible --explore options -- question before defending Reframe instead of rebut

Get What You Project and Expect

Raise your expectations of people to help them raise their expectations of themselves. Acknowledge their effort Be tough on bad behavior Expect good behavior Assume the best and give the benefit of the doubt Appreciate constructive criticism
Dont be defensive Verbally appreciate the person providing the criticism Redirect if necessary - focus on activities, not persons

Choices for Defensive Behavior

Take responsibility -know when it happens Tell people what is happening with you -they will help Slow down! Acknowledge the negative chatter in your head -- it is not about you! Check your, and others, assumptions Emotionally Detach! Dont identify with the situation or take it as an attack
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Contact information
Pete Swanson Pswanson@csradr.com 703.818.1740

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