Bernie Rhodenbarr Series
Written by Lawrence Block
Narrated by Frank Muller and Richard Ferrone
3.5/5
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About this series
You’ve got a dream job, running your own cozy secondhand bookstore, complete with Raffles, your caudally challenged cat. It’s in Greenwich Village, and your best friend’s dog grooming salon is two doors away, and the two of you lunch together and meet for drinks after work.
And you’ve got another way to make a buck. Every once in a while you put your conscience on the shelf and let yourself into someone else’s residence, and you leave with more than you came with. You’re a burglar, and you know it’s wrong, but you love it.
And you’re good at it. You’ve got two ways to make a living, one larcenous, the other literary and legitimate, and you’re good at both of them.
Nice, huh?
Until the 21st century pulls the rug out from under you. All of a sudden the streets of your city are so overpopulated with security cameras and closed-circuit TV that you have to lock yourself in the bathroom to have an undocumented moment.
And locks, which used to provide the recreational pleasure of a moderately challenging crossword puzzle, have become genuinely pickproof.
Meanwhile, internet booksellers have muscled your legit enterprise into obsolescence. The new breed of customers browse your bookshop, find what they’re looking for, then whip out their phones and order their books online.
Wonderful. You had two ways to make a living, and neither of them works anymore.
But suppose you keep on supposing, okay?
Suppose you wake up one morning in a world just like the one in which you fell asleep—but with a couple of differences.
The first one you notice doesn’t amount to much. The Metrocard in your wallet has somehow changed color and morphed into what seems to be called a SubwayCard. That’s puzzling, but you swipe it at the turnstile same as always, and it gets you on the subway, so what difference does it make?
But that’s not the only thing that’s changed. The Internet’s up and running, as robust as ever, but nobody seems to be using it to sell books. Doors are secured not with pickproof electronic gizmos but with good old reliable Rabson locks, the kind you can open with your eyes closed.
And what happened to all those security cameras? Where’d they go?
All of a sudden you’ve got your life back, and your bookshop’s packed with eager customers, and how are you gonna find time to steal something?
Well, just suppose one of the world’s worst human beings has recently acquired one of the world’s most glamorous gems. When the legendary Kloppmann Diamond is up for grabs, what can you possibly do but grab it?
And what could possibly go wrong?
Titles in the series (12)
- Burglars Can't Be Choosers
1
In this first in a series of wickedly funny mysteries, best-selling author Lawrence Block introduces Bernie Rhodenbarr, sometimes burglar, sometimes sleuth. Pulling only an occasional, very discreet job, Bernie manages to maintain his comfortable New York City apartment and keep his unorthodox vocation a closely-guarded secret. Every burglar knows never to trust anonymous phone calls. But when the caller offers easy money for an hour's work, Bernie can't ignore the job. All he has to do is find a blue box in an empty apartment. But the valuable box is nowhere to be found. The occupant is, however-and he's dead. Suddenly Bernie finds himself the object of a massive man hunt, wanted for both theft and murder. Winner of multiple Edgar and Shamus Awards, Lawrence Block crafts clever plots with characters you wish you could have over for drinks. But stop to count the silver afterwards. You'll find yourself laughing out loud as gravelly-voiced narrator Richard Ferrone brings sticky-fingered Bernie to life.
- The Burglar in the Closet
2
Popular author Lawrence Block creates the wild and wonderful world of Bernie Rhodenbarr: fine, upstanding citizen by day, and crafty burglar by night. In this hilarious whodunit, Bernie does a favor for his dentist, only to discover mixing his personal and professional lives can be hazardous to his well-being. As Bernie squirms in the dental chair, Dr. Sheldrake presents a business proposition. He wants Bernie to rob his estranged wife's apartment while she's out enjoying the New York City nightlife. Bernie would get her fabulous collection of jewels, and Dr. Sheldrake would only take 20% of the profits. The plan sounds foolproof, so why has Bernie found himself locked in Mrs. Sheldrake's closet? Winner of three Edgar and four Shamus Awards, Lawrence Block creates plots that twist around every corner and packs them with fun-loving characters. You'll want the quirky Bernie and his companions for your very own friends, as gravelly-voiced narrator Richard Ferrone brings them vividly to life.
- The Burglar Who Painted Like Mondrian
5
By day, Bernie Rhodenbarr runs a respectable used book store in New York City. But by night, he gets his kicks gaining illegal entry into the posh residences of the wealthy. In this wacky mystery, the incorrigible burglar pulls off a low-risk burglary, only to find himself up against an eccentric kidnapper with a taste for abstract Dutch art. When Bernie is offered the chance to appraise a Manhattan millionaire's private library, he jumps at the opportunity. After all, how often does he get a chance to check out the holdings of the rich and famous and get paid at the same time? But when he returns later to help himself to some plunder, he finds he's been framed for some very nasty crimes. Named a Grandmaster by the Mystery Writers of America, best-selling author Lawrence Block has won almost every major mystery award, including three Edgar and four Shamus Awards. His action-packed plot and irresistible characters, dramatically performed by Richard Ferrone, make this audiobook an irresistible work of art.
- The Burglar Who Traded Ted Williams
6
Fans will rejoice as New York's most charming burglar returns to action. Greenwich Village bookseller Bernie Rhodenbarr has perfected the art of breaking and entering, as well as that of clever repartee. Bernie gets plenty of opportunity to exercise both his wit and his lock-picking muscles, as he juggles old friends, new "employees," potential girlfriends, and various criminal charges. Bernie is seriously considering retiring from his life of crime, now that his used bookstore is finally turning a small profit. Then his nasty new landlord raises the rent-by $10,000 a month-and Bernie is hard pressed to resist the temptation to supplement his income. But when a dead body turns up, and an invaluable baseball card collection is missing, who will believe that Bernie had nothing to do with it? Narrator Richard Ferrone's deadpan delivery offers the perfect contrast to Bernie's giddy misadventures. It would be a crime to miss this fabulous performance.
- The Burglar Who Liked to Quote Kipling
3
Best-selling author Lawrence Block will keep you hooting with laughter as you follow the hilarious hijinks of his incorrigible character, Bernie Rhodenbarr: notorious burglar and part-time sleuth. Trying to go legit, Bernie has taken over a secondhand bookstore in Greenwich Village, but he still can't resist stealing things when the rewards are right. Ever since he bought Barnegat Books, Bernie has been having trouble making ends meet. When a mysterious client asks him to steal a rare edition of Kipling's poetry, he seizes the opportunity to practice his criminal talents and pay his creditors. Pilfering the book is boringly easy. But delivering it is difficult-with the police and a host of shady assailants hot on his heels. A Mystery Writers of America Grandmaster, Lawrence Block packs his entertaining whodunits with plenty of action and unexpected plot twists. Richard Ferrone's gravelly voice and expert pacing will keep you glued to the tape deck as Bernie lands in one dangerous scrape after another.
- The Burglar Who Thought He Was Bogart
7
Edgar Award-winner Lawrence Block invites you into the criminally funny world of the most notorious star of mystery fiction: Bernie Rhodenbarr, bookseller by day and burglar by night. In this humorous mystery, Bernie's passion for Humphrey Bogart movies leads him to a beautiful damsel in distress, a dangerous international conspiracy, and more than a few incriminating bodies. Sparkling with wit and energy, The Burglar Who Thought He Was Bogart is guaranteed to have you laughing out loud.
- The Burglar Who Studied Spinoza
4
Best-selling author Lawrence Block exposes the wickedly exciting double life of Bernie Rhodenbarr-respectable bookseller by day and notorious burglar by night. In The Burglar Who Studied Spinoza, Bernie applies philosophy to match wits with a wily murderer and a few too many burglars. Bernie and his dog-grooming partner in crime, Carolyn, are planning the perfect crime. Tonight, they will rob a brownstone while the well-heeled owners are out of town with their vicious watch dog. But when Bernie painstakingly picks the lock, they discover somebody has already emptied the house-except for a valuable coin almost too hot to handle. Lawrence Block's finely-crafted plots and well-drawn characters have earned him three Edgar Awards and the title of Grand Master. With his deep, gravelly-toned narration, Richard Ferrone provides the perfect voice for the book-loving thief and his sophisticated friends as they land in one hilarious scrape after another.
- The Burglar in the Library
8
Lawrence Block's talent for creating colorful characters, sophisticated dialog, and engaging atmosphere has earned him many awards: the title of Grand Master, three Edgar Awards, four Shamus Awards, and a Nero Wolfe Award. One of his most popular series follows the adventures of the suave bookseller and crook, Bernie Rhodenbarr. Bernie's sweetheart has dumped him. But although his heart is broken, he hasn't lost his love for fine books-or for an occasional discrete burglary. So Bernie takes off for a snowy winter weekend at a country inn that just happens to have a rare, signed first edition of The Big Sleep in its library. It's not long, however, before Bernie's ex-girlfriend arrives with her new husband, a body is found in the library, and the book disappears. Bernie must sort out a tricky tangle of clues if he has any hope of nabbing the priceless edition for himself. Narrator Richard Ferrone captures Bernie's cool demeanor and his flair for perfect timing.
- The Burglar in the Rye
9
Winner of multiple Edgar and Shamus Awards, Lawrence Block keeps fans guessing to the end with his rollicking Bernie Rhodenbarr mysteries. In this diverting caper, full-time bookstore owner and part-time burglar Bernie tries to do the right thing for a new friend, only to find himself accused of some terrible wrongs. All Bernie plans to do is steal some letters. A New York City literary agent is auctioning off her personal correspondence with enigmatic writer Gully Fairborn. Gully's attractive ex-girlfriend has asked Bernie to swipe the letters so she can return them to her old heartthrob. But when Bernie breaks in, the letters are missing, and the literary agent is in bed with no hope of waking up. With the police watching him very closely, Bernie relies on jiggers of rye and Caroline, his lesbian best friend, to sharpen his deductive skills and find the killer. Narrator Richard Ferrone expertly guides you on a laugh-filled journey through the twists and turns of the clever plot.
- The Burglar Who Counted the Spoons
11
Ever since The Burglar on the Prowl climbed the bestseller lists in 2004, fans have been clamoring for a new book featuring the lighthearted and lightfingered Bernie Rhodenbarr. Now everybody's favorite burglar returns in an eleventh adventure that finds him and his lesbian sidekick Carolyn Kaiser breaking into houses, apartments, and even a museum, in a madcap adventure replete with American Colonial silver, an F. Scott Fitzgerald manuscript, a priceless portrait, and a remarkable array of buttons. And, wouldn't you know it, there's a dead body, all stretched out on a Trent Barling carpet ...
- The Burglar in Short Order
12
Four decades ago, Mystery Writers of America Grand Master Lawrence Block introduced the world to one of his most beloved and enduring creations: Bernie Rhodenbarr, the clever, nimble-fingered star of novels such as Burglars Can't Be Choosers, The Burglar Who Liked to Quote Kipling, and The Burglar Who Counted the Spoons. Called “the Heifetz of the picklock” by the New York Times, Bernie has stolen not only antiques, stamp collections, and priceless works of art but also millions of readers' hearts. Now, for all those craving more adventures of their favorite bookseller-by-day and burglar-by-night, The Burglar in Short Order for the first time ever collects all of Bernie's short-form appearances in one complete volume. From the story in which a prototype of Bernie first appeared (“A Bad Night For Burglars”) to his appearances in Playboy and (maybe? It's kinda complicated) Cosmopolitan…from an essay discussing Bernie's misadventures in Hollywood (how in the world did Whoopi Goldberg ever get cast?) to a piece commissioned by a European publisher for a tourist guide to New York…you'll find every published story, article, and standalone excerpt Bernie has ever appeared in—plus two new, unpublished pieces: an introduction discussing the character's colorful origins and an afterword in which the author, contemplating retirement, comes face to face with his own creation. In all of mystery fiction, there has never been a character like Bernie—and in this, his dozenth book, he demonstrates all the charm and wit and kleptophilic ingenuity that has made two generations of readers welcome their favorite burglar into their homes.
- The Burglar Who Met Frederic Brown
13
Suppose you’re Bernie Rhodenbarr. You’ve got a dream job, running your own cozy secondhand bookstore, complete with Raffles, your caudally challenged cat. It’s in Greenwich Village, and your best friend’s dog grooming salon is two doors away, and the two of you lunch together and meet for drinks after work. And you’ve got another way to make a buck. Every once in a while you put your conscience on the shelf and let yourself into someone else’s residence, and you leave with more than you came with. You’re a burglar, and you know it’s wrong, but you love it. And you’re good at it. You’ve got two ways to make a living, one larcenous, the other literary and legitimate, and you’re good at both of them. Nice, huh? Until the 21st century pulls the rug out from under you. All of a sudden the streets of your city are so overpopulated with security cameras and closed-circuit TV that you have to lock yourself in the bathroom to have an undocumented moment. And locks, which used to provide the recreational pleasure of a moderately challenging crossword puzzle, have become genuinely pickproof. Meanwhile, internet booksellers have muscled your legit enterprise into obsolescence. The new breed of customers browse your bookshop, find what they’re looking for, then whip out their phones and order their books online. Wonderful. You had two ways to make a living, and neither of them works anymore. But suppose you keep on supposing, okay? Suppose you wake up one morning in a world just like the one in which you fell asleep—but with a couple of differences. The first one you notice doesn’t amount to much. The Metrocard in your wallet has somehow changed color and morphed into what seems to be called a SubwayCard. That’s puzzling, but you swipe it at the turnstile same as always, and it gets you on the subway, so what difference does it make? But that’s not the only thing that’s changed. The Internet’s up and running, as robust as ever, but nobody seems to be using it to sell books. Doors are secured not with pickproof electronic gizmos but with good old reliable Rabson locks, the kind you can open with your eyes closed. And what happened to all those security cameras? Where’d they go? All of a sudden you’ve got your life back, and your bookshop’s packed with eager customers, and how are you gonna find time to steal something? Well, just suppose one of the world’s worst human beings has recently acquired one of the world’s most glamorous gems. When the legendary Kloppmann Diamond is up for grabs, what can you possibly do but grab it? And what could possibly go wrong?
Lawrence Block
Lawrence Block is one of the most widely recognized names in the mystery genre. He has been named a Grand Master of the Mystery Writers of America and is a four-time winner of the prestigious Edgar and Shamus Awards, as well as a recipient of prizes in France, Germany, and Japan. He received the Diamond Dagger from the British Crime Writers' Association—only the third American to be given this award. He is a prolific author, having written more than fifty books and numerous short stories, and is a devoted New Yorker and an enthusiastic global traveler.
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